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Messages - PTF

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 97
1
Fan Fiction / Re: Explorers of the Unknown: Turtle World.
« on: Yesterday at 06:23:50 PM »
Page 7

Panel one: All The Explorers save for Red strike battle poses. Angel is in a karate stance, Wheels is in a boxing stance, F/X has his cape over his face as half of him turns invisible, Nitro has two destructo-discs in each hand, Spike is showcasing his muscles. Squint is more relaxed and just raises an eyebrow at what he sees.

Astral Samuel Crane: Kweh, Red Andrews.

Panel two: Red Andrews stops Nitro from throwing his destructo-discs as he tries to calm the others down.

Nitro: Give the word, leader man, and I’ll make sure Spooky here meets Hot Stuff.

Red: No! Explorers stand down!

Panel three: Red Andrews returns the greeting as the others look on and drop their battle stances. Nitro sighs as he folds up his destructo discs and puts them back into his pocket. Gizmo is amazed at what he sees as his glasses begin to show readings in the lens as Gizmo examines the astral projection before him.. Wheels wave her hand to greet Astral Samuel Crane.

Red: Kweh, Samuel Crane

Astral Samuel Talltrees: It has been many moons, my friend. It does my heart good to see you healthy and surrounded by people of such valor and loyalty.

Red: Couldn’t ask for more.

Page 8

Panel one: Gizmo is talking with Astral Samuel as Angel nonchalantly answers as Wheels turns to her.

Gizmo: Sir I hate to interrupt…but I’m not picking up a reading of any sort emitting from you…!

Angel: Simple. Astral projection.

Panel two: Wheels talks with Angel as F/X and Squint listen in.

Wheels: Astral projection?

Angel: Yes, mastery of one’s self enables the soul to extend from the body to a different location.

Panel three: Wheels talks with Angel as Angle flips her hair back

Wheels: You’re a martial arts master, Angel. That’s self discipline. Does that mean you can astral project?

Angel: Of course…

Panel four: Wheels, F/X, and Squint frown and groan and face palm as Angel showcases her body.

Angel: …But with a body like this, why would I ever leave it?


Page 9

Panel one: Astral Samuel talks with the Explores.

Astral Samuel: Brave heroes. A danger threatens the world, and only you Explorers of the Unknown may be able to stop it.

Red: What’s the dilemma, Samuel?

Panel two: Samuel face curls in a grimace as he talks.

Astral Samuel: My home was attacked and family threatened by a man named  Fred Mirth. And I was forced to give him the Diamond Turtle Shell.

Panel three: Gizmo is on his wrist band as he begins to look up who Fred Mirth is as Red motions for him to stop as his face shows the seriousness of what is happening. Squint is talking as he scratches his head.

Gizmo: Fred Mirth? I believe the Explorers’ database has—

Red: No need, Gizmo. Mirth’s a traitor to his country at worst and a grave robber at best. And I know the legend of the Diamond Turtle Shell.

Squint: You mind filling us in on that last part? Because I’m thinking anamorphic reptiles who know ninjitsu and wear robber masks.

Panel four: Astral projection Samuel Crane floats in the air as an image of Native American people in the sky and animals in a world of water is shown in the background.

Astral Samuel: Allow me to explain.

Astral Samuel: Once there were two worlds: A world above where the sky people lived and below them a world of water for the animals…

Page 10

Panel one: A shot of a female sky person being carried to a giant turtle by two swans. Below them a toad, a muskrat, and an otter are brushing soil and dirt on a giant turtle’s shell.

Caption: One day one of the sky people fell from the clouds. As she fell two swans saved her and decided to bring her to the turtle for assistance.

Caption: Knowing that she could not live or fly above the water as they, the turtle asked his friends to dive under the waters for grains of soil and splash it upon his back.

Panel two: A shot of the Diamond Turtle Shell as it has the image of the world is in it along with various images of different ethnicities of people circling around it. On the world is a small island shaped like a turtle.

Caption: The Turtle became the world itself. The Diamond Turtle Shell is the stored essence of the turtle.

Caption: If Fred Mirth reaches Turtle Island, the power of the shell can be harnessed, and all life, the soil, the wind will be under his dominion!
 

Panel three: The Explorers begin to run out of the control room as Red Andrews leads the way. Following behind his is Wheels and Angel, with Spike and Nitro next, with Gizmo, Squint, and F/X bringing up the rear. The Astral projection of Samuel Crane begins to fade as he waves goodbye to them.

Red: Say no more!

Red: Explorers Onward! We’re saving the world!

Squint: Ah, just another typical Tuesday afternoon.

Page 11

Panel one: Inside of the Explorers Jet as Wheels is piloting with Andrews sitting shot gun. Behind Archie is F/X and Spike. Behind those two is Squint who is using his seat to lie down and take a nap. Behind Wheels is Gizmo and Angel. Behind them is Nitro who is tossing sticks of dynamite from hand to hand to keep himself occupied. Below them is a giant island shaped like a turtle. The sky above them is bright blue without a cloud in the sky.

Wheels: Here we are in record time! Turtle Island.

Gizmo: Red, do you truly believe an inanimate object could control the world? Or the world was a turtle? It’s just…preposterous to me.

Panel two: Inside of the jet as Gizmo talks with Red. Wheels looks at her monitors as the sky turns dark and thunder clouds begin to form. Everyone else but Gizmo and Red begin to become worried.

Red: There are many things in heaven and earth that are beyond are comprehension, Gizmo.

Wheels: Um, speaking of which—it got awfully thunderstorm cloudy blink of an eye fast, right out of the blue just now!

Panel three: The Jet dodges several lightning strikes as it swirls between and around the bolts of lightning as it descends towards Turtle Island.

SFX: KRA-KOOM  KRA-KOOM KRA-KOOM

Squint: I’m up! I’m up! What did I miss!?

Wheels in jet: Magic lightning bolts are trying to kill us.

Squint: …Shazam.

Panel four: The Jet lands on the shore as Fred Mirth stands waiting for them a good twenty yards away.

Spike: Whoo! At least the worst is over!

Fred Mirth: No. No it is not.

Page 12+ 13

Panel one: A shot of Fred Mirth as he holds up the Diamond Turtle Shell over his head with both hands as a heavy wind blows behind him and the sky turns pitch black and several thunder clouds swirl in the air and purple lightning bolts strike together in a violent clash. Behind him in the tropical landscape various palm trees and vegetation are bending until they break and divide up the middle right behind Mirth.

Fred Mirth: Explorers of the Unknown.

Fred Mirth: You’re in my world now. If you want to continue to live in it, get on your hands and knees and bow down!

Panel two: Red Andrews stands in front of the Explorers as they are on the beach shore and preparing for a fight. F/X is already using his cloak to turn invisible. Angel is standing next to Red and striking a karate pose with both palms extended forward. Gizmo is adjusting his belt as he opens the buckle and begins pressing buttons. Nitro is all smiles as he begins to take out several destructo-disks  Squint for the first time is taking things seriously as Spike folds his arms and glares ahead.

Red Andrews: No. This is how this is going to go:

Red Andrews: We stop you and return The Diamond Turtle Shell to its rightful owner. But how bruised and battered you become is entirely up to you.

Panel three: A close up on Fred Mirth’s eyes as his pupils have an image of the world burning to show how angry he is. In the background to his top right a blizzard is engulfing a tropical island, the top left corner, a heat wave is melting the artic, the bottom right, hurricanes are battering England, and the bottom left New York is experiencing an earthquake.

Fred Mirth: You fools have no idea the forces of nature I control and can unleash upon you at a whim.

Fred Mirth: But I would never do anything so mundane to end the lives of the Explores of the Unknown. Instead--

2
Reviews / Re: PTF Review Jughead: Matchmakers.
« on: Yesterday at 01:43:08 AM »
I gave it a B. I'd give it a look. As far as "Jughead likes a girl" story it's probably the best.

I have no idea. It's just weird. Like in this review, Jughead is Jughead in the first few pages, but then he's almost a different character after. If I had to guess, the stories are trying to be more serious
so that probably had an effect. And just writing a character to fit the story than writing the character in the story type deal. Like Jughead being super good at Volley Ball. Why? Because he needs to have something in common
with Sandy. But to be fair the New Series have gotten the characters better as it went along.

That's how it looked. :)

3
Reviews / PTF Review Jughead: Matchmakers.
« on: July 05, 2015, 08:24:22 PM »
MatchMakers

Sorry for being late.

This is it. The dreaded story. I’ve heard many harsh, cruel things spoken of this story. That, as a Jughead fan, it would fill me with an uncontrollable sadness. It will tear out my heart and vomit upon my dreams.



Why do I listen to other people?



The Good.

1 What they got right about Jughead. I felt that this story got Jughead half right. Maybe even a little more than that. For one thing, they nailed that he’s a glutton who will eat anything. He’s drawn with pure delight as he eats his double anchovies pizza. They also got that Jughead is smart. He figures out what the rest of the gang is doing, trying to set him up, and decides to turn the table on them with a pretty good gag. And in the first few pages, he shows that Jughead wit and banter. Too bad that doesn’t last.

2. Sandy Sanchez. Remember the last review where I had a problem with characters who no personality and just existed? They are there for the story for a certain plot function and that’s that. Not Sandy. We actually get to know her. She’s a star pupil, she wants to go to an Ivy League college, and she’s very athletic. She gets plenty of dialogue. Now I don’t like the very very end, but I do like the character. She’s a fun. She’s up their with Sharry on—why is this character not used more?

3. Joe Staton. I was expecting something a little more realistic like the previous new series reviews—and Joe Staton is a good artist—but he seemed to have decided to adopt his art style with the Archie style. At first I didn’t like it because I felt it went against the idea of the New Series, but it does allow for better movement from the characters. In the previous stories, the characters looked stiff, here they are much more energetic. Take for example the Big Bounce Along Relay. Each a character is still their own height, weight, and body language. Because a good portion of the story involves sports and lots of movement, this turns out to be the right decision.

4. Finally, we got the main Archie Teen (sans Jughead) characters right. I’ve had problems with the last two New Series because we had Betty being boring, Veronica being pushed aside, Archie occasionally being Archie, and Reggie sometimes showing up to be Reggie. Here we got them. Betty is nice, sweet and naïve. Veronica is in your face, arrogant, and would prefer not to sweat. Archie is his usual clumsy self (The Big Bounce Rally) and Reggie is a sneaky jerk. Dilton gets a moment to show how smart he is. Even Nancy gets a pretty funny moment with the egg toss contest. And you have some great character moments. Archie doesn’t like the changes to his best friend when the plan appears to be working, Betty starts having doubts and worrying if they were right, and Veronica is the more steadfast and confident in what they are doing. And this is the most of the supporting cast we’ve seen in a New Series book I’ve reviewed. 





The Bad:

1.   What they got wrong about Jughead. Like I said, they got about half right and half wrong. Jughead does not get nervous around girls. I HATE stories where he gets nervous around girls. Jughead is easy going and just follows his own path, if a female intersects her path with his he either tolerates her or showcases his wit. And I can be okay with him being somewhat good at sports…but not to the level MatchMakers made him out to be a great athlete. And I said he was witty in the first few pages, but after that, he’s just boring. His quick wit is one of his trademarks. You take that away and you have a flat character.


2.   Dated clothing. Yeah, even back in the day this stuff was decades from the time. I mean, you had the gang talking the next war and western movies. Um, yeah, we those are not prevalent in today or a decade or even two decades ago. And the clothing on some of the characters look maybe late 70s. In the south going by Betty’s imitation Hee Haw Girl attire in the beginning. And some of the events at the Couple’s Competition…horse shoes. Yeeeeahhh.

3.   Some of the character designs. I had trouble recognizing Coach Kleats and Prof. Flutesnoot. Ms. Grundy looked like Aunt May and in a few panels, others like a witch. And Mrs. Jones was drawn with a long nose. I HATE IT WHEN THEY DRAW MRS. JONES WITH A LONG NOSE!!!!!!!

4.   That last page. Jughead and Sandy sneaking off to date. I HATE THAT. Jughead doesn’t date. Why? Because Jughead can’t be Jughead when he dates. Because you have to tone him down and take away all his wit and quips or he sounds like a jerk. Heck, check out Life With Archie—I’m okay with nearly everything but Jughead. He was either a whiner or a loser, or just boring. It’s not Jughead. That last page was not Jughead. But…it was just a page. Not the usual story where someone decides to write “Jughead likes this girl” story, so at least it has that going for it.

What I learned from this story.

1.   Riverdale High has a relaxed dress code because Midge was just wearing overalls
2.   Double Anchovies Pizza is the weirdest, disgusting pizza you can eat.
3.   Egg yolk makes Nancy sick.
4.   Whoever thought of the Big Bounce Along Relay is both a genius and a sadist
5.   That egg toss resulted in the loss of many chicks and one traumatized eye witness bird.
6.   At least if Jughead wears a baseball cap he doesn’t wear it backwards like a twit
7.   Win if you can, lose if you must but—nah, forget that! Just stop playing.
8.   Jughead owns a scooter.
9.   G-g-girls…m-aa-ake…Jughead Nervous!!!
10.   Horseshoes…it’s the next Let’s Play Series, mark my words


Seriously, this was the big bad story? You want a bad story? The World Tour story or the current Betty and Veronica storyline—those are bad stories. This? This is an okay story. Jughead loves a girl stories always stink. But this isn’t bad. Most of it is a plot to teach Archie and the gang a lesson until…that last page. So most you can say is an act. The other characters are done right, the art suits a Jughead story, and most of all—I wasn’t bored. But when you’re doing the main character wrong then you still have issues. Plus how dated it is even from when it was first published.

It’s a B. I have read way worst portrayals of Jughead “when he’s in love”. And for its fault, it’s still a fun story. I’d take a chance on it if you have an open mind.

Next week will be Archie Meets the Punisher. Because who wouldn't put these two together? :)

4
Ruiz on either title would be amazing.

5
Fan Fiction / Explorers of the Unknown: Turtle World.
« on: July 04, 2015, 02:20:34 PM »
Page 1

Panel one: The setting is a forest clearing where a cabin and small fire surrounded by stones is.  Fred Mirth wearing clothing similar to Indiana Jones, only his is a mix of black and gray, is holding a laser gun on a ten year old native American girl (Annie Crane) as a native American man (Samuel Crane)—in his sixties-- walks ahead pointing towards a totem pole consisting, bottom to top, a swan, an otter, a toad, a muskrat, and finally a turtle.

Caption: Oklahoma. The edge of the Wyandot Indian Reservation.

Samuel Crane: There is what you seek. Now release my granddaughter, Mirth.

Fred Mirth: Of course. I’m a man of my word if not anything else…

Panel two: Fred Mirth throws the girl to the ground as Samuel Crane lunges at Fred Mirth. Fred Mirth sneers at the futile efforts of Samuel Crane to stop him.

Fred Mirth: Oh, we’re doing this?

Panel three: Fred Mirth uses the back of his laser gun to knock Samuel Crane unconscious as his granddaughter looks on helplessly.

Fred Mirth: And here I was thinking you were an intelligent man, Samuel Crane.

SFX: KRAK

Annie Crane: Grandfather!

Panel four: Annie Crane is checking on her grandfather as tears roll down her cheeks. Fred Mirth is two steps away as he focuses on the matter at hand.  Fred Mirth is blasting the turtle off the totem as it cracks open on the ground. The turtle totem breaks to reveal a diamond turtle shell hidden inside.

SFX: brak

Fred Mirth: Well, well, looks like the old legend might be true.

Panel five: Fred Mirth is bending down to pick up the diamond turtle shell.

Fred Mirth: The diamond turtle shell. With you I’ll finally get what I deserve.

Panel six: A close up on Fred Mirth as he holds the diamond turtle shell right up to his face as his eyes flash deviously. Inside of the turtle shell is an image of the world.

Fred Mirth: And who can stop me?

Page 2 + 3

Panel one: The setting is inside Explorer Mountain as the security has gone haywire as the Explorers are dealing with it to showcase their own unique skill set. The security weapons are the following: several mechanical tendrils are coming from the walls and floor. Various turrets shooting electrical blasts from the ceiling and the floor. energy fields condensing energy activate at random and various sections of the roof crashing down to flatten anyone beneath. Buzzing around are miniature robots with rotor blades extended from their chests.  Red Andrews is leaping through several mechanical tendrils as he breaks away. Wheels is dodging an energy blast as she scolds Nitro who is using exploding discs (destructo-discs) to destroy a turret on the wall with far too many explosives than needed. F/X is using his cloak to form several illusions of himself as two mechanical arms grab at the wrong F/X. Angel is karate chopping one mechanical grappling arm, breaking it at the point of impact, and back kicking a mini-security bot to clear a path forRed. Spike is using his super strength to stop a slab of the high tech ceiling from crushing him as he forces it back upwards. Squint is leaping in the air to cause two security bots to destroy each other as he uses a mechanical arm as a pole vault to help him avoid the energy blasts of a nearby wall turret.


Angel: There’s an opening, Red! Get to the control room and find out what Gizmo’s malfunction is!

Red: On it, Angel!

Wheels: Careful, Nitro! Don’t bring down the entire mountain on us!

Nitro: Wheels, in case you hadn't noticed--the mountain started it!

F/X: Sorry, but no kewpie doll for you!

Squint: I don’t know about anyone else—but I’m working up an appetite.

Spike: Nah. Just a sweat for me.

Page 4

Panel one: Down a high tech corridor, Red Andrews is making his way to the control room. Red Andrews leaps over several swirling laser beams, ducks various wall saw blades, sliding across the floor before regaining his footing and leaping over an opening leading to a fire pit as he makes his way to the control room.

Red at the lasers: After I straighten this mess out…

Red at the saw blades: …I’m going to have a discussion with Gizmo about the defense system…

Red leaping over the fire pit: …Because this is way too easy!

Panel two: Red looks inside the control room as Gizmo is using a laser gun to blast several mechanical grappling arms that are trying to grab him. He has a photon shield extending from his Explorer wristband to block the attack of another as he turns his head to talk with Red.  Over head is the hologram of an AI that has a distorted face to show that the AI is malfunctioning.

Red: Gizmo, problem?

Gizmo: Yes! And the solution is that blue button on the control panel!

AI: --I’ll hit you like a wrrreeeccckiing balll…!!

Panel three: Gizmo uses his laser gun to blast several grappling arms that were trying for Red as Red slams his fist down on the blue button as the AI begins to disperse.

Red: Problem solved!

AI: ..I’m a teapot…hit a rock…look at my thoughts…weird ink bloooottttssss

Page 5

Panel one: Gizmo is apologizing to Red in the foreground as the other explorers enter the control room in the background.

Gizmo: I’m sorry, Red, everyone. The AI had passed all my test phases, but there seems to be issues with the terminal’s interface modules to its infofracture diagnostics.

Panel two: Nitro is in between F/X and Squint as he quips on the situation. As he talks Nitro folds up his destructo-discs with the press of a button and begins to put them back in his inside jacket pocket.

Nitro: What’s it say about this team when the big brain makes the stupidest mistakes?

Panel three: Red puts a reassuring hand on Gizmo’s shoulder. Wheels and Angel walk towards them. In the background F/X and Squint smack Nitro on the back of his head as Spike looks on approvingly.

Red: Gizmo, we all make mistakes. Ever think maybe taking a break? You’ve been at this nonstop; you could use a chance to rest up a bit.

Gizmo: Red…I know your advice is sound—but I’m so close! And once I have the AI perfected, Explorer Mountain will run 1000 times more efficiently!

Panel four: Wheels smiles at Gizmo as Gizmo blushes and stutters as he tries to compose himself as he blushes. Angel stands beside Red and looks on with a smile.

Wheels: Gizmo, I’m going to Indianapolis over the weekend to test my dad’s race cars. Come along. We’ll have fun!

Gizmo: Well-um,er…that’s a w-won-er, I mean, gracious offer--

Panel five: Wheels turns to Red and extends him an invitation. Gizmo immediately hangs his head down in disappointment. Red is nervous as he can feel the harsh eyes of Angel staring a hole at him.

Wheels: You should come too. Red! The more the merrier!

Red: Well, thank you, Wheels—but, um…

Angel: He values his life.

Page 6

Panel one: Spike talks with Gizmo as Gizmo composes himself. Angel steps in between Wheels and Red as she cracks her knuckles as she looks at Wheels. Wheels feigns innocence with a smile and shrug of her shoulders. Looking on Nitro motions with his arms like an explosion is about to happen while F/X uses his hands like a camera as he pretends to be recording what is happening. Squint is yawning as he could careless.

Spike: Gizmo, you think an AI would improve everything? Does that include security?

Gizmo: Of course.

Panel two: Spike nervously looks up as he continues to talk as Gizmo begins to adjusts his glasses.

Spike: So it’d be able to stop magical stuff like ghosts and phantoms, right?

Gizmo: Spike, magic is fiction and most paranormal experiences are figments of the imagination or parlor tricks. But why do you ask?

Panel three: All of The Explorers look up in alarm as the astral projection of Samuel Crane hovers over their heads.

Spike: Him!

6
Fan Fiction / Re: Betty & Veronica and Friends in Stick to Your Spot
« on: July 02, 2015, 01:26:19 PM »
Glad to see people like it. Thought I'd do my take on the sadist TV host who enjoys the suffering of the contestants.

Page 7

Panel one: Nancy is seemingly calm in defeat as she walks past Midge to leave.

Midge: Sorry, Nancy. But at least you’re taking it well. How about we meet up later?

Nancy: Thanks, Midge. But I’m probably going to be busy.

Panel two: Nancy exits the truck in the foreground as she acts like she is ripping an invisible comic book apart as Midge sticks her head into view from the door with a worried look on her face.

Nancy: --I’m going personal rip apart every comic in Chuck’s entire collection!

Midge: !

Panel three: Midge turns to Sly Flynn as Sly adjusts his glasses and has a toothy smile from ear to ear.

Midge: Y’know, you’re doing a lot of damage to people’s lives with this game show!

Sly Flynn: Hey, you teeny boppers put your names on the dotted line. Not my fault your boyfriends are selfish, not selfless.

Panel four: Midge folds her arms in defiance as Sly Flynn mocks like he is going to faint from the sheer shock of her words.

Midge: Selfish is something my Moosie is not!

Sly Flynn: Wow! Could it be that true love exists? Could it be?! Could it be?!

Panel five: Flynn turns to a monitor as Moose is counting his fingers as he continues to wait for Midge.

Flynn: Nah.

Flynn: We’ll be wrapping this up in just a few seconds!

Page 8

Panel one: Moose is just looking up at the ceiling as patiently waits for Midge to come as he does a voice calls out to him.

Moose: …I wonder if a cloud was fluffy enough, could it float to the moon?

Voice off-panel: Hey, champ! Catch!

Panel two: Moose catches a severely deflated football thrown at his chest.

Moose: Duh? Who’s throwing footballs?

Panel three: Moose happily turns to be greeted by Tim Bradley QB of the New England Colonists. The uniform plays of the red, white, and blue of the New England Patriots. Tim Bradley has no helmet as he lets his golden locks flow in the wind as several women swoon over him and faint.

Tim Bradley: Nice catch, big guy! Heard Riverdale High had a future pro football star in the making!

Moose: Wowza! You’re Tim Bradley! 5 time Ultrabowl MVP!

Panel four: Tim Bradley motions for Moose to leave with him as Moose’s excitement fades as he hesitates at the offer.

Tim Bradley: Let’s see what you’ve got! I’ve got a limo waiting. We can just drive to the Riverdale High field and toss the pig skin for a while.

Tim Bradley: What do you say?

Moose: …

Panel five: Moose tosses the now barely deflated football back to Tim Bradley as he shakes his head.

Moose: Duh, it would be an honor and you’re my hero—but I promised my girl I’d wait for her.

Panel six: Tim Bradley walks off and shrugs his shoulders as the women wave goodbye with tears in their hearts. Walking just in front of Moose is a little girl who is looking in all directions as she is lost.

Tim Bradley: Fine. I still get paid.

Moose: Whuh?

Page 9

Panel one: Back to the production truck as Sly Flynn is sticking a finger in his throat as he is sick by the display of love Moose just shown.

Sly Flynn: Uhhh! Someone get me a bucket! I’ve never been so nauseated in my life!

Sly Flynn: That was so sweet, my teeth might just fall out!

Panel two: Sly rolls his eyes towards Midge who has her eyes closed and has a smile ear to ear.

Sly: Well, you got your boy on a tighter leash than the others, I’ll give ya that much—

Panel three: --Sly waves a finger in the air and puts a hand on his heart as if making a pledge as he takes a long stride towards Midge.

Sly Flynn: --But that was just one of my well thought out tests! You’ll see! He’ll take the low road and leave you heart broken!

Panel four: Midge corrects Sly as Sly rolls his eyes at Midge.

Midge: I won’t be heart broken. Moose would be sorry, and I’d forgive him.

Panel five: Sly Flynn turns to the camera man as the camera man frowns. Midge glares at Sly as her eyes narrow in on him.

Sly Flynn: Hey, be sure to edit her interview confessional. I don’t want that kind of dopey lovey dovey blah blah on my show!

Camera Man: Um, boss, you might wanna check out the monitor…


Page 10

Panel one: Sly turns to a monitor as it shows a little lost six year old girl beginning to cry just in front of Moose as Moose notices her.

Sly: Huh? I didn’t order a child actor—

Panel two: Moose is kneeling down as the little girl continues to cry.

Moose: Duh, my name is Moose. What’s wrong….

Little girl: …Sally.

Little girl: Sob sob. My…mommy was talkin’ with a friend, but I wanna…wanted to go to the toys and I went on my own and—

Moose: Got lost.

Little Girl: Uh-huh.

Panel three: Moose is taking the little girl by the hand as he is walking away from the pet shop. All the puppies in the window give Moose a standing ovation for his act of kindness.

Moose: Well, there are security here that will help. We’ll just go find one and they’ll find your mommy lickety-split.

Little girl: sniff…okay.

Panel four: Midge is teary eyed as she looks into the monitor showing Moose taking the little girl by the hand and walking away to find a security guard.

Moose: Duh, just promise your mommy you won’t run away when you get back together. Mommies worry a lot.

Little girl: I’ll promise.

Midge: Oh Moosie…
 

Panel five: Sly Flynn begins to holler and bellow behind Midge as it startles her as her eyes go wide surprise.

Sly Flynn: Whatta a loser! Guy with all those muscles and he’s such a wimp! I’ve never seen anyone so pathetic!

Page 11

Panel one: Midge looks like she’s about ready to explode as Sly continues to taunt and mock Moose as he turns his back to Midge and focuses on the cameraman.

Sly Flynn: And when this airs, he’ll feel like a bigger dope for losing out because he had to help “ a little girl find her mommy!” That’s so sappy stupid!

Panel two: A close up on Sly Flynn as he begins to turn around back to Midge.

Sly Flynn: Well, It goes without saying that your boyfriend just isn’t good enough to—

Panel three: Midge’s fist punches Sly right in the face as it bends his nose, knocks out a few teeth, and breaks his glasses.

POW

Panel four: Midge is standing over an out of it Sly Flynn who is lying on the floor as little cupids begin firing arrows at his head in retaliation for his poor view on love. Midge still has her fist in the air where she had punched Sly Flynn as the camera man focuses on her.

Camera Man: That’s just below the birth of my child as the best moment in my life.

Sly Flynn:…no…arrow hurt little diaper babies….

Page 12

Panel one: Midge is at the pet shop with a smile on her face as she sees Moose running towards her. In the background, the puppy with the camera begins focusing on the other puppies as they begin to do tricks.

Moose: Duh, Midge! Gee, I’m sorry you had to wait, but something important came up that—

Panel two: Midge kisses Moose as Moose has several pink and red hearts over his head dancing with joy.

Panel three: Moose and Midge are arm in arm as they begin to leave the mall.

Moose: Wow! What was that for?!

Midge: For being you. Don’t ever stop.

Panel four: Moose and Midge are in the parking lot as Reggie is leaping over a parked car to avoid a rampaging Veronica, Archie is ducking behind a car to hide from an enraged Betty, and Chuck is on his hands and knees pleading with Nancy not to rip a comic signed by Stanley Mann. Ambulance workers are loading a stretchered  Sly Flynn into an ambulance as the cameraman films it all with a smile while waving goodbye.

Moose: Did I miss something?

Midge: Don’t worry. I set my DVR to record it.

THE END.

7
Fan Fiction / Betty & Veronica and Friends in Stick to Your Spot
« on: July 01, 2015, 03:55:31 PM »
Page one

Panel one: In the Riverdale Mall, Archie, Reggie, Chuck, and Moose are standing just behind a pet shop as they are talking with one another. Reggie is flashing a smile and winking to various people walking by while Archie is jumping on one foot as he tries to tie his other foot’s shoe. Chuck is looking at his watch as Moose just smiles and shrugs his shoulders as he seems content.

Archie: What are you doing, Reg?

Reggie: Profiling. What are you doing the hokey pokey, carrot top?

Chuck: Where are the girls? They were supposed to meet us fifteen minutes ago!

Moose: Duh, they’ll be here when they get here.

Panel two: Archie nearly falls over as Moose reach past Chuck to keep him from falling with one hand as Reggie begins to comb his hair. Chuck is thinking out loud. The panel looks like a viewing monitor as a hand wearing a red suit sleeve motions towards it with an open palm.

Archie: Say, isn’t it kind of weird that we’re all meeting our dates at the same—whooah.

Moose: I got yah, Arch.

Chuck: If this were a horror movie, I’d be apprehensive, I’ll say that much….

Man off panel: Oh Chucky baby this isn’t a horror movie! Oh no no no! This is something much, much better!

Panel three: Inside of a TV truck as Sly Flynn, a man in his late thirties with dark hair slicked back, wearing purple shades, a red suit, with a giant green bowtie, and matching pants and holding a microphone as he talks into a camera one cameraman is holding. Next to him are Betty, Veronica, Nancy, and Midge. Betty is and is nervously playing with her ponytail, Veronica is frowning as she looks over at Betty, Midge is looking around at all the TV monitors inside of the TV truck, Nancy looks over at Sly Flynn and doesn’t like his sense of style. Thought the TV truck are monitors showing various images of Archie, Reggie, Moose, and Chuck.

Sly Flynn: This is the game show for playas and steadies!

Sly Flynn: I’m Sly Flynn (as in flying) and I am your humble host of—STICK TO YOUR SPOT!

Sly Flynn: --Where girlfriends challenge their boyfriends to prove their love by simply cementing their feet to the ground!

Page 2

Panel one: A close-up on Betty as she bites her ponytail as the camera catches her by surprised and not ready.

Caption: This sweet little thing is Betty Cooper. Friend to all animals and has never uttered a cuss word!

Betty: Wait—What? The camera’s on me?

Betty: eep.

Panel two: A close up on Veronica as Veronica frowns and pouts. Betty sticks her hand out with a penny in her palm to show to everyone.

Caption: And this is Veronica Lodge! Heir to the abundant Lodge fortune! This raven hair beauty is used to getting what she wants, boys!

Veronica: If that were true, Archie would be my boyfriend instead of Reggie for this!

Betty off-panel: I won the coin flip fair and square!

Panel three: Midge is smiling and making a joke as she waves at the viewers.

Caption: This is Midge Klump. Her career choice: stuntwoman!

Midge: But that doesn’t mean I don’t buckle up when I drive!

Caption: --Hey, I do the funnies here!

Panel four: A close-up on Nancy who corrects Sly.

Caption: And this is Nancy Woods! She likes to doodle on paper!

Nancy: I like art! Watercolors specifically!

Caption: Like cartoons!

Panel five: The cameraman is focused on all of them as they all react differently. Betty is still shy and blushing while Veronica leans in front of her to strike a pose. Midge is waving both hands now and smiling as hard as she can while Nancy is blowing kisses into the camera. Sly has a devilish grin on his face as he strokes his hands like he were a mad scientist awaiting for his experiment to begin.

Sly Flynn: The rules are simple. Each young lady has a boyfriend they have kept waiting and if one can manage to stay the allotted time of forty five minutes, that couple will win an all expense paid trip to Hawaii for themselves and their families!

Sly Flynn: And just to make it a challenge—and more fun for me--we’ll be throwing a few tests along the way.

Page 3

Panel one: Cut back to the boys as Reggie is already missing while Archie, Moose, and Chuck patiently wait on. Behind them a small puppy at the window has a camera strapped to his head that no one notices.

Caption: And our hidden cameras are right here ready to—

Caption: Hey, where’s that dark haired kid go?

Panel two: Reggie is walking away from the pet shop with a group of teenage girls accompanying him. Reggie is flashing his smile and showcasing his muscles as the girls swoon over him.

Caption: Wow! One second! That’s the record for shortest time ever! What a hound dog!

Panel three: Sly Flynn is motioning at Veronica as Betty, Midge, and Nancy have to hold her back as she tries to tear Sly Flynn in two after his comments towards her. Sly just ignores it as he goads her on.

Sly Flynn: Guess even rich brats can’t buy themselves a win, huh? The exit’s right over there, loser.

Veronica: How about I pay for your trip to the ICU, you slimy smart mouth—!!

Nancy: Whoa, girl! Way too many witnesses!

Panel four: Betty is trying to calm Veronica down as Veronica is snarling and has a vein popping on her forehead.

Veronica: --Call me a loser..!

Betty: Ronnie, c’mon! Don’t let him get to you!
 

Page 4

Panel one: Sly jumps in front of the girls startling them as he snaps his finger to get the camera man to focus on him.

Sly Flynn: Hey! Hey! Hey!

Sly Flynn: I’m the star! Not them! The camera is on moi!

Panel two: Sly adjusts his green bowtie as he motions at a monitor with Archie on it. Behind him the other girls are obviously getting sick of Sly’s primadonna bad attitude. Veronica has her arms folded as she stares daggers at Sly.

Sly Flynn: Now let’s see how blondie’s freckled face beau reacts to our first little test of loyalty, shall we?

Panel three: Back to Archie, Chuck, and Moose as they notice a mob of Josie and the Pussycats fans running past them as Archie stops one teenage boy wearing a Pussycat hat and wearing a Melody T-shirt.

Archie: Hey, where’s the fire?

Teenage boy: Guy, Josie and the Pussycats are setting up in the east section! It’ll be the bomb, yo.

Caption with Sly’s face: I wrote his dialogue! How great am I!?

Panel four: Archie has a thought balloon of Valerie over his head that is surrounded by hearts as he looks up at the thought balloon in a love gaze.

Panel five: Chuck and Moose look on as Archie runs after the Pussycat mob of fans.

Moose: Duh, Archie, what about Betty?

Archie: I’ll just tell her a celebrity was here! She’ll understand!

Page 5

Panel one: A shot of Betty as she is grabbing the camera man and shaking him violently as she has gone off the deep end. Sly looks over and finds it amusing as he seems to enjoy the misery he caused. Veronica shakes a fist a monitor with Archie’s face. Midge and Nancy try to calm Betty down.

Betty: What that no good little sneak! He’ll just leave me like that! When I get my hands on him, I’m gonna—

Sly: Cooper, save the details and get to the action! This will be great for a web exclusive!

Panel two: Betty and Veronica storm out of the truck as Sly points up at the sky with both hands as he celebrates. Nancy and Midge are helping the camera man get his bearings as he is still loopy from Betty shaking him.

Veronica: Come on, Betty, let’s find those miserable two-timers!

Betty: Seek and destroy.

Panel three: Midge and Nancy are talking to one another as they try to get their bearings. Sly Flynn is peeking from the right of the panel as he does not like the focus not being on him.

Midge: I guess it pays to have steady boyfriends.

Nancy: Yeah, maybe we can both win.

Panel four: Sly Flynn jumps in front of the girls as he spreads out his arms and legs to block them from view as both Midge and Nancy glare at him.

Sly Flynn: ERK! Not gonna happen!

Page 6

Panel one: Back to Chuck and Moose standing outside of the pet shop as Chuck is looking at his watch as he paces back and forth. Moose has turned to the pet shop window and making cute faces at the puppy and somehow doesn’t notice that one puppy has a small camera strapped to its head.

Chuck: Wow! They’re really late! Never known Nancy to keep me waiting this long!

Moose: Duh, I’m sure they’ll be along. Just gotta be a little patient, that’s all.

Panel two: Chuck is turning to talk to Moose as someone screams off panel to get his attention.

Chuck: Maybe. But they could be stuck in traffic or have car trouble. Maybe I should just—

Voice off-panel: Thank you, faithful followers!!

Panel three: Chuck turns around to see Stanley Mann (an homage of Stan Lee) wearing a suit of various Marvel Comic replica characters. Around him are various little children and teenage nerds all wanting an autograph. Lagging behind the main group is a bunch of out of shape fifty year old men. Chuck is looking on in the background with his knuckles at his mouth and his body bent over as he is overcome with joy.

Stanley Mann: Excelsior! It’s me Stanley Mann! And I’ll be signing autographs for my fans at the book shop for the next hour or so!

Chuck: Wow! I can’t believe it! He’s a living comic legend! He created The Fine Five, The Rearrangers, and Spider-Guy!

Panel four: Chuck begins to follow after Stanley Mann and the mob of comic fans as he points ahead. The out of shape fifty year old man have fallen to their hands and knees as they attempt to catch their breath as everyone else continues on.

Moose: But what about Nancy?

Chuck: Hey! I’m about to meet a legend! An icon! I see her every day, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

Panel five: Back to the production truck as Sly Flynn points a finger right at Nancy’s face and twists his body as if kicking an imaginary ball. Nancy’s eyebrow twitches to show her irritation at what is happening.

Sly Flynn: Told ya so, Told ya so!

8
Fan Fiction / Re: Archie in I Don't Remember, Do You?
« on: June 26, 2015, 05:17:05 PM »
Who's sane in Archie comics? :)

And thanks. :)

9
Fan Fiction / Archie in I Don't Remember, Do You?
« on: June 26, 2015, 01:21:44 PM »
Page 1

Panel one: Jughead and Betty are walking out of The Chocklit Shoppe as Jughead holds the door open with one hand and drinking from a cup with his other. Betty has her head turned to Jughead as she asks him a question.

Betty: So you haven’t seen Archie?

Jughead: Nope.

Jughead: And if he’s not with me, and he’s not with you, and Spain is due east of here—

Panel two: Betty pouts as Jughead walks beside her as they leave the Chocklit Shoppe and walk up the sidewalk.

Betty: Sigh. He’s with Veronica.

Betty: And I bet she has him wrapped around her little finger by now.

Archie off-panel: GANGWAY!

Panel three: Archie runs past them with Veronica chasing after Archie and taking a swing at him. Betty looks on like a kid who unwrapped the perfect Christmas present while Jughead moves his arms like a matador and tilts his head as he nearly gets clobbered by Veronica’s stray punch.

Betty: ??

Veronica Lodge: Archie Andrews! I could just kill you for what you did!

Archie: I know! That’s why I’m running!!

Panel four: Betty and Jughead look on as Veronica continues to chase Archie as everyone leaps or jumps out of their way on the sidewalk. One man jumps climbs up a pole while another hides behind two children in a great act of cowardice. Betty is pumping her fist as she’s ecstatic at what is happening and Jughead is only mildly interested.

Jughead: Wonder what Arch did to upset her royal highness this time?

Betty: Who cares?!?

Page 2

Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee and Miss Grundy are walking out of The Pickens Grocery store as Mr. Weatherbee is carrying a plastic bag and Ms. Grundy has a small paper bag to contain her purchase.

Ms. Grundy: It was nice wandering into you, Waldo. But you might think me crazy for saying this—

Mr. Weatherbee: You miss our students too.

Panel two: Ms. Grundy turns to Mr. Weatherbee as he reminisces.

Ms. Grundy: So I’m not alone, I take it.

Mr. Weatherbee. I know we have stannous occupations, but I do enjoy what we do thanks to the bright young minds we’ve been blessed with.

Panel three: Ms. Grundy and Mr. Weatherbee sadly lower their heads.

Mr. Weatherbee And they do make life interesting with their antics and shenanigans…

Mr. Weatherbee: …But they’re all off gallivanting or on vacation elsewhere, so we’ll have to wait until fall to see their bright eyes and hear their tender words.

Panel four: Veronica is chasing Archie as they run past Ms. Grundy and Mr. Weatherbee and accidentally knock Mr. Weatherbee’s bag out of his hands as toothpaste, shaving cream, wig shampoo, pens, and several small books are flung from the paper bag.

Archie: Please, forgive me, Ronnie!

Veronica: Never! Never! Never!

Panel five: Ms. Grundy and Mr. Weatherbee, both cheerful, bend over and begin to put Mr. Weatherbee’s items back in his paper bag. Ms. Grundy looks curiously at the wig shampoo.

Ms. Grundy: I can hardly wait.

Mr. Weatherbee: Me neither.

Page 3

Panel one: Archie is running past a picnic table as Veronica leaps over it to make up ground on him. A bear hiding behind a tree looks on sadly as the picnic basket accidently gets kicked to the ground. The picnicers look on wide-eye while their little girl roots for Veronica.

Archie: Sheesh! How is she so fast in heels!?

Panel two: Veronica begins to catch up on Archie a little as she screams at him.

Veronica: Each drop of perspiration that escapes from my pores only makes it worse for you!

Archie: You’ll make it worse on me if you catch me!

Panel three: Veronica tackles Archie from behind as he falls to the ground.

Veronica: Gotcha!

Archie: Yikes!

Panel four: Veronica has Archie on his stomach and has her knees on his stomach as she has a fist raised above her head as Archie has his arms over his face to shield him. Three squirrels (a tall one, a skinny one, and a fat one) look on as they have body paint and holding acorns as if they were a professional wrestling audience.

Veronica: Now you’re going to pay for what you did! You cad! You wicked boy!

Archie: …

Panel five: Archie leans up and shrugs his shoulders as he can’t remember what he did as Veronica glares at him.

Archie: Um, what did I do?

Veronica: You don’t remember!?

Veronica: You besmirched me! You humiliated me! You—you—

Panel six: Veronica rolls her eyes upward as she tries to remember herself as

Veronica: What did you do exactly?

Page 4

Panel one: Veronica has her fist grinding against Archie’s forehead as a frightened Archie looks on.

Veronica: All this running around might have made me forget, but I know how I feel—and that’s angry!

Archie: Gulp.

Panel two: Archie is sweating as he tries to reason with Veronica.

Archie: Yeah—but you don’t remember why and neither do I. So what good will losing your head over it do?

Panel three: Veronica raises an eyebrow as she thinks it over.

Panel four: Veronica allows Archie to sit up as she gives him a hug and he returns it. The squirrels begin giving each other a hug as they mimic the two teens. A penguin wearing a parachute pack ignores a disco duck who wants a hug.


Veronica: You’re right, Archiekins!  It’s silly to be angry when you’ve forgotten why! 


Page 5

Panel one: A shot of the Riverdale Matinee in the fall as Archie and Veronica are walking to it. Veronica has stopped to give a homeless man some money. The homeless man has a sign reading: PLEASE HELP. I PROMISE TO MAKE GOOD.

Panel two: A shot in the winter as Archie and Veronica are in winter clothing as they walk past the same spot. The homeless man is now set up a booth where he is selling high tech tops called T-bobs as several people line up to purchase one. The homeless guy now has stubble and slightly better clothes.

Panel three: It is spring as the homeless man/ now successful businessman is shaking Veronica’s hand. The homeless man is wearing a business suit, clean shaven, and has his hair slicked back. Veronica feigns a smile as she obviously doesn’t remember who the homeless man is and that she helped him.

Panel four: Archie looks back at Veronica as Veronica shrugs her shoulders as she does not remember who the homeless man is. The homeless man is being helped into his limousine by his chauffer in the background.

Archie: Who was that? One of your father’s business partners?

Veronica: Nobody I’m familiar with.

Panel five: Veronica turns to watch the limo drive off as Archie wanders off with love glazed over eyes.

Veronica: Funny the people and things one can forget. Like last year, I was upset with you over something and for the life of me, I still can’t recall why!

Veronica: Archiekins? Archie…?

Page 6

Panel one: Archie is looking at a movie poster and ignoring Veronica as she becomes irate. The movie poster has a starlet dressed as an adventurer and striking a pose.

Veronica: Hey! A Lodge is speaking to you! That rates just below Gabriel’s horn in importance of anything you could ever hear!

Panel two: Archie continues to focus on the movie as Veronica stomps towards him with her face turning bright red.

Veronica: Grrrr

Panel three: Veronica smacks Archie across the head as Archie’s eyes nearly pop out of his head.

Veronica: PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

WHACK

Panel four: Archie’s eyes are glazed over as he is on wobbly feet and can barely keep himself standing as his right leg is crossed over with his left. Veronica doesn’t notice as begins to recall what she was upset with Archie about a year ago.

Veronica: …This seems familiar somehow.

Panel five: Veronica’s face lights up as she is proud to remember what happened a year ago.

Veronica: That’s it!

Veronica: I was talking to you and you ignored me! That’s what I was upset about!

Panel six: Veronica hugs the concussed Archie as he is still not orbiting our planet.

Veronica: Oh, Archiekins, I’m sorry I got upset over such a silly thing. It won’t ever happen again. Can you ever forgive me?

Archie: Sure—but who are you and who am I again…?

 THE END.

10
Reviews / Re: PTF Reviews Moose & Midge Break-up Blues
« on: June 25, 2015, 05:08:01 PM »
Lesson Three is very important!! :)

And I can The Archie's meddling. It's part of their helpful nature.

And yeah, Betty swearing....wow. I thought it was some sort of mistake at first. I know it's out of her character--but she's so boring in this story that I after I read it, I kind of chuckled thinking back on it.

11
All About Archie / Re: Everybody Loves Archie!
« on: June 22, 2015, 03:04:14 PM »
I love that ending. :)

12
Reviews / PTF Reviews Moose & Midge Break-up Blues
« on: June 21, 2015, 12:21:47 PM »
Love is such a wonderful thing—until the woman you love betrays you for your best friend, ruining years of friendship, burning a bridge that can never be repaired. Man, I’m going to miss watching NFL Games on that 70 in HD TV come Fall…

A misunderstanding has lead to the break-up of Riverdale’s most true couple, Moose and Midge. Can Archie, Betty, and friends find a way to bring these two back together or will forever Break-up Blues




The Good:

Moose and Midge: I really like when they get the focus of the story put on them without Betty going on and on about the message of the few pages. And the break-up is logical. Midge wanted to test her love while Moose didn’t see  a need to; Midge wanted to hear the words steady, while Moose was of the mindset that he didn’t have to say the words. These two hardly ever get any focus in the Archieverse so it was fun to have a story that centered around them. Both are likeable and well written. You don’t really take a side because both had reasonable arguments and both are equally stubborn and prideful. You get backstory on how they fell in love and for how long. I understand they’re not Archie or in the main cast, but if they had gotten more page time this would have been a much better story for it.

Good character moments from Archie and the gang. Yeah, they’re normally boring and most of the fun characters (Veronica, Jughead, Reggie) don’t get much page time like they should but you do have some good moments. Jughead relating how missing out on food is like feeling like it’s a part of life you just missed, Veronica gets few pages, but she’s super fun in them. Reggie is a cowardly rogue, Archie is clumsy and it factors into the story. My favorite would be the end in the dance club with Betty becoming jealous of Veronica and frustrated by her antics. Too bad most of the story is just Betty being boring and Archie following along.

Tod Smith: I like his art for the most part. Again the characters look like teenagers. I like how he draws Reggie. And I like some of the over exaggerated poses of Betty because—it’s the few things I found interesting about her in this story. The body language for each character is spot on as Veronica just demands your attention while Jughead is slumped over. I really like how he draws Moose, almost like Frankenstein’s monster. There is one problem: His Archie is kind of weird at points. But luckily Archie is normally with Betty so it’s nice to be interested in something. Yes, Betty bores me this much in this story I’ll take what I can get to find interesting moments.


The messages. I don’t have a problem with stories giving a message. I think every story should have some lesson it was to convey. My problem is when you are beating the reader over and over and explaining it to them word by word without letting them put in the cognitive thought process on their own. And there are some good messages. Like sometimes you need to back off and let your friends work out their problems themselves. That’s a good message. It’s just that most messages in the New Look are teaching you a lesson instead of entertaining you. And, I got to be honest, I was used to Webb stories where Veronica is evil and Betty is super duper nice—it was nice where Veronica actually had the right idea compared to leave things be and let what happens happen. It was rare at the time.

Betty’s cussing and overreactions. Seriously, she cussed in this?! I mean, it’s censored but—at least it’s funny to think of. And Betty’s Home Alone pose when trouble happens or things backfire was funny. Seriously, if I was Tod Smith, and reading this script, I’d do stuff like this to have some fun when it comes to Betty in this story.


The Bad:

Betty: Exposition, exposition, tell the message, have no personalitttty…! That’s her purpose in the story. She gives information on backstory, how long something has happened, we get to see what she is thinking and her thoughts. And for most of the story—yeah, she’s as boring as you’d expect. And there’s so much unnecessary information like how she worries about here feelings, or thinking something—and then a character tells the information. An example would be Rocco and the South side kids with her thining who they are and then Dilton and Jughead telling. And again it’s the same problem of with Bad Boy Trouble—she’s not involved in the crisis of the story, Moose and Midge is. Where we could have more focus on those two, we have Betty telling us what’s going on and how we should feel.

The Writing. Just like Bad Boy Trouble you have really the same problem of this originally being a novel and it shows. It’s unnecessarily wordy and the pacing can be just plain slow. And again it just beats you over the head with their messages that you just want to scream at points. And some of the dialogue—wow. We got some groan worthy stuff. And there’s a point where Midge goes home, and the next page Midge’s mother lectures Archie and Betty—how did Midge go over everything so fast?! She had to be in the house only ten seconds top! I mean I don’t want to constantly harp on Melanie because she does some good things. Like Moose and Midge. When they get the focus or in the story it’s really good. But key elements of the story are just not focused on. And I don’t even know why Jughead was in this story at all. He serves no point and annoyed me all but once.

Characters that just exist. The Turner Twins are there to snitch about Midge’s date with Reggie and then at the end…actually they didn’t even need to be mentioned at all. Judy Johnson, whom Moose dates for a time, we don’t really get much from her other than the standard boring new girl who a character falls for like you would in Save by the Bell. I guess I appreciate that she seemed really nice, but she’s forgettable all the same.

Midge’s hair: Okay, she has black hair on the cover, kinda redish purple, and brown…c’mon, we can do better than that! Stick with a hair color. I mean the rest of the coloring is fine, but this kind of thing is just inexcusable.



What I learned from reading this:

1.   The Turner Twins are snitches.
2.   Rocco from the South Side, while a punk, has a pretty good memory as he remembers Archie from over a month ago.
3.   You can beat up whomever you want how badly…as long as it’s in the boxing ring of the Riverdale Community Center
4.   Betty knows a cuss word
5.   Moose and Midge are the third best dancers in all of Riverdale with no practice together!
6.   No empty seats, sit on a lap!

7.   How to get your two friends back together? Fake a leg cramp and act like you need rescuing.

8.   C’mon, Midge—you and Moose WERE ON A BREAK!!!

9.   When a woman dates another guy not her boyfriend; she’s experimenting.

10.   Detention Room Romance is the number one rom-com that all women subject their men to. Multiple times.

This is weird because when Moose and Midge are in the story, I really, really like it. It’s fun, energetic. But then you have the parts where they’re not and most of them are boring because Betty is the relation point for the reader to convey information…and she’s so boring for the most part. But again, I consider art more important than writing (Sorry, Stan Lee). I liked the last New Series story because of how bad it’s funny Nick St. Clair was but Moose and Midge were actually fun and relatable characters. I’ll go B-
So we’re at least improving when it comes to the New Look stories. So how bad can MatchMakers possibly be?

 


13
Fan Fiction / Re: Jughead in The Debt.
« on: June 18, 2015, 12:00:42 PM »
Hm. Jughead's being pounded upon by both girls. Doesn't seem fair.  8) Besides, I'm wondering why Ethel hasn't resented Trula for going after her "boyfriend". Are you angling for a Betty and Ronica type of situation with Jughead in the middle, PTF?  ???


Well, at a flea market I picked up a few digest and a few of them had Trula and Ethel competing like Betty and Veronica. I mean, it was bad, but the idea of those two being friends does make sense
I wouldn't say Betty and Veronica but they do contrast enough.

Ethel is interested in Jughead's heart, Trula is interested in Jughead's brain.

Ethel chases after Jughead, Trula (at least in my stories) takes his favorite seat so he comes to her

Ethel is oblivious to Jughead's quips, Trula can go one on one with Jughead



And I already did set up their friendship in a few earlier stories. Chez De Twyst where Trula really doesn't think much of Ethel, but respects her after thwarting her plan. And in another...something with
Jughead being super fast and Trula not being able to keep up, Ethel helps Trula even when Trula states she'll probably just use her for her own gain and forget about her. Instead, Trula becomes friends
with Ethel.

And it also set up another story later.


And I've always thought of Jughead as an anti-hero. Kind of like old school Bugs Bunny.

1. If he doesn't go looking for trouble, but he doesn't go out of his way to avoid it either.
2. He does want Archie to be happy, but he doesn't want anyone getting in the way of their friendship
3. If you don't cause him grief, he'll leave you alone, but if you do, he repays you a thousand fold.
4. He'll take advantage of his friends for all their worth, but when they need him in a crisis he'll help.
5. He's always making with the witty quips, but he does give out needed advice or knowledge.

In other words a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. :)

14
Fan Fiction / Re: Jughead in The Debt.
« on: June 18, 2015, 11:44:56 AM »
Page 7

Panel one: Trula Twyst is waving goodbye to Ethel as she is about to walk past Jughead. Ethel is motioning for Jughead to follow her as Jughead drags his feet.

Trula Twyst: I don’t want to be a bother, so I’ll just leave you two to your date.

Jughead: Apply that concept to the rest of the world next.

Panel two: Trula stops as she looks over at an annoyed Jughead.

Trula: …

Jughead: What?


Panel three: Trula smiles at Jughead as Jughead frowns.

Trula: I always assumed that you might not fancy me, but here you are with Ethel-- right in front of me.

Panel four: Trula leaves the Chocklit Shoppe as Ethel grabs Jughead by the arm and pulls him towards the counter.

Trula: A girl might think you are trying to make her jealous!

Jughead: Rassa frassa no good little…!

Ethel: C’mon, Juggie!

Panel five: Jughead reluctantly follows behind Ethel as Jughead thinks to himself. At the counter Pop Tate rubs his eyes as he can’t believe he is seeing Jughead on a date with Ethel.

Jughead thinking: I don’t know which is worst: The girl who is just plain crazy or the girl who goes out of her way to make me crazy!

Page 8

Panel one: Ethel and Jughead sit down at the counter as Pop Tate talks to them.

Pop Tate: Look at you two! Quite the couple before my eyes!

Jughead: You need glasses.

Ethel: Thank you, Pop! That’s so nice of you to say.

Panel two: Pop Tate ask for their order as Jughead tries to move away from Ethel, but Ethel puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him and pull him closer to her.

Pop Tate: So what can I get you, lovebirds this evening?

Ethel: Something to show how close me and Jughead truly are.

Panel three: Pop Tate is putting down a giant sundae with two straws as Jughead looks on happy for the first time in pages.

Pop Tate: How about a Lots A Love Sundae on the house?

Jughead: I love! I love! Lots and Lots!

Panel four: Jughead is sipping on his straw

Panel five: Jughead’s mouth twists as his straw is being turned to his left towards Ethel.

Panel six: Jughead rolls his eyes in frustration as Ethel has her straw pressed against his like out of the spaghetti scene from Lady in the Tramp. Ethel has her eyes closed and has hearts over her head while Jughead looks down at the sundae. Jughead is trying to pull his straw off his lips, but Ethel is too strong.

Ethel thinking: This is so romantic! I bet Jughead is thinking the same thing!

Jughead thinking: She’s…sucking…out…my…soul…!
 

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead and Ethel are at the movie theater as are walking up to several movie poster along wall. One poster is of The Good Guys of the Galaxy and another is The League of Everyone (A JLA proxy) with a subtitle reading: BECAUSE WE CAN’T BUILD A FRANCHISE PROPERLY…EVERYONE AT ONCE. The poster should be gray and the LoE is standing in the ruins of a city where the police and battered citizens give them a death glare. A little dressed like Captain Pumpernik is drinking a veggie drink.

Ethel: What do you want to see, Jughead?

Jughead: I actually have a voice in this?

Ethel: Sure. As long as you use my words.

Jughead: Sigh. The wonders of dating.

Panel two: Jughead is pointing at a movie poster of two robots smashing each other with weapons as explosions are in the background. Ethel frowns as she obviously does not want to see it.

Jughead: Hey! The new Go-Get’em Bots movie is out!

Ethel: That’s something…but I was thinking---

Panel three: Ethel points at a poster of A man in a business suit in a hand drawn New York waving hello while dotted lines connect him to a woman in France in front of a hand drawn Eiffel Tower waving goodbye to the man. Jughead’s response is two thumbs down.

Ethel: EEEEE!

Ethel: Hello in New York, Goodbye in Paris!


Panel four: Ethel is pushing Jughead towards the ticket booth as Jughead is on his heels trying in vain to stop. In front of the line is Maria and Frankie as Marie is annoyed by Frankie looking at himself in the mirror. Chuck is annoying Nancy with toy robotic gloves that give off a noise, and Cheryl is dragging Dilton along as she plans to cut in line.

Jughead: Aw, can’t we watch the robot movie with the no plot and all explosions?

Ethel: You know what they say: Love is a battlefield!


Page 10
 
Panel one: Jughead and Ethel are taking their seats in the movie theater as the movie is about to start. Jughead is carrying a large soda, a large tub of popcorn, a box of milkduds, and cotton candy.

Ethel: Wow! Look at all the treats you got for us!

Panel two: Jughead and Ethel are sitting down as Ethel rolls her eyes and Jughead turns to her in confusion.

Jughead: “Us?” You wanted something too?

Panel three: Ethel reaches for some popcorn to Jughead’s annoyance.

Jughead: And what’s this folly in film about?

Ethel: Hello in New York, Goodbye in Paris is a musical, comedy, drama! The best of everything you could want in a chick flick!

Panel four Jughead is reaching into his pocket as the lights go out and the movie begins to start.

Ethel: What are you doing?

Jughead: I almost forgot something.

Panel five: Ethel has her head resting lovingly on Jughead’s shoulder as Jughead has a piece of rope he is biting hard on as if he’s about to be in tremendous pain, similar to a soldier getting a bullet took out of his body with a knife.

Ethel: Sigh, isn’t this romantic…?

Jughead: Mhhhmmm.

 Page 11

Panel one: Jughead is walking Ethel out of the Riverdale Theater as Ethel is holding a candy bar in her left hand. Jughead is spitting out the tangled remains of rope

Ethel: Wasn’t that a great movie, Juggie?

Jughead: Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Panel two: Ethel and Jughead are walking down a suburban street as Ethel cozies up to Jughead as Jughead doesn’t react one way or the other.

Ethel: I really had a great time, Jughead. Thank you.

Jughead: Well…it wasn’t the worst.

Panel three: Ethel shakes the candy bar at Jughead’s nose as Jughead focuses on it. They are close to Ethel’s house.

Ethel: Admit it! You had fun!

Jughead: No! I—hey, is that a candy bar…?

Panel four: Ethel is at her door as Jughead focuses on the candy bar.

Jughead: Say, Ethel, how about giving me a bite?

Ethel: Why, you can have the entire thing…

Panel five: Ethel pulls out a contract with various yellow and blue stickers to show where to sign. and pen as Jughead looks at it.

Ethel ….If you sign this contract where the yellow stickers are and initial where the blue are!

Jughead: What’s this supposed to be?

Panel six: Ethel looks on happily as she watches Jughead sign the contract without looking it over as he just wants the candy bar.

Ethel: Oh, just a little legal document where, if we’re both not married when we’re forty, we—

Jughead: Yeah, yeah, I know the trick, now give me the treat!!

Page 12

Panel one: Jughead is happily walking away with the candy bar as he happily walks away as he holds his candy bar proudly. Ethel is still at her door kissing the contract like she just won the lottery.

Jughead: Looks like I’ll have to marry Ethel eventually. But that’s over twenty years form now.

Jughead:  That’s Middle Age Jughead’s problem!

Panel two: Jughead stops as a blue portal opens up and a middle age version of Jughead wearing a red and blue plaid tuxedo is holding a laser gun on him as Jughead holds both hands up in the air.

Middle Age Jughead: Yeah?! Well, now it’s our problem! Now take that candy bar back and void that contract!

Middle age Jughead: NOW!

Panel three: We see into the future at Middle age Jughead and Ethel’s wedding as half of Middle Age Jughead we didn’t see in the other panel is there as Ethel looks on patiently. Dilton is using a time warp control to help Middle Age Jughead talk to his younger self. Trula is Ethel’s bridesmaid along with Betty and Veronica. Middle Age Archie is Jughead’s best man. In the front row a married with kids Moose and Midge look on happily with a floating head in a glass jar Reggie looks on and makes faces. The preacher is wearing a space suit and is riding a hover board as he continues on with the wedding ritual like nothing is happening.

Middle Age Jughead: --Hustle! Before Space Pastor finishes, and I’m transwarped to the Honey Moon!

THE END.

15
Fan Fiction / Jughead in The Debt.
« on: June 17, 2015, 04:18:58 PM »
Page 1

Panel one: Jughead is leaning against a wall as he is watching a penguin using a jet pack doing barrel rolls in the sky as a flock of butterflies are forming a giant question mark to show their own confusion. Jughead isn’t impressed at all as he looks ahead as Ethel approaches him with a withered old sheet of construction paper in her hand. Across the street Pop Tate and Segarini are having another fight where Pop Tate is throwing burgers and Segarini is throwing pizzas.

Ethel: Jughead! It’s time for you and me to settle up!

Jughead: Sure. I’ll settle in the western hemisphere and you take the eastern.

Panel two: Ethel is smiling ear to ear as Jughead puts his right hand at his chin as he feigns thinking.

Ethel: No, silly! You promised me that we’d go on a date today!

Jughead: Hmm. I don’t recall any brief periods of insanity where I would ramble such balderdash…

Panel three: Ethel show Jughead and the reader the construction paper as it is mostly just red and blue markings with the name Jughead + Ethel with Jughead’s name marked underneath it.

Ethel: Oh, you promised--

Ethel: --And I have the proof right here!

Jughead: ?

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead takes the construction paper as he turns it sideways and his head to the left as he tries to figure out what it is.

Jughead: What’s this chickenscratch supposed to be?

Ethel: You wrote it back in kindergarten!

Panel two: A thought balloon begins to form over Jughead’s head as he squints his eyes as he reflects on the past.

Ethel: Remember…?


Panel three: In the thought balloon: Lil’ Jughead is looking over at Lil’ Ethel as she has a small piece of cake she is preparing to eat. They are outside at recess as various other younger versions characters are about and playing.  At Jughead’s feet is a discarded ice cream cone.

Lil’ Jughead: Ethel—I had ice cream and I would like some cake too.

Ethel: Okay…

Panel four: Lil’ Jughead takes the cake as he nods his head and sticks his tongue out as he looks at the delicious cake.

Ethel: But ya gotta promise to go on a date with me!

Jughead: Fine, fine—11 years from now!

Panel five: In the thought balloon Lil’ Jughead has cake all over his mouth and is using his T-shirt as a napkin as he begins to wipe his mouth. Lil’ Ethel is running  with the construction paper contract as she it to Lil Betty and Lil Veronica; Lil Betty approves while Lil’ Veronica sticks a finger in her mouth.  Jughead reacts in disappointment at the revelation.


Lil’ Jughead: Huh. Guess I’ll have to date a girl one day…

Panel six: Jughead looks up angrily at the thought balloon as Lil’ Jughead smiles as he licks his lips clean.

Lil’ Jughead: Eh, what do I care? That’s Teenage Jughead’s problem!

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead with the thought balloon still over his head tries to act innocent and declare his ignorance of any promise.

Jughead: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Panel two: Ethel grabs onto the thought balloon as Jughead looks on in disappointment.

Ethel: Ah-ah! You’re fibbing!

Panel three: Jughead is using the end of one of his pins to burst the thought balloon as he admits defeat.

Jughead: Sigh. That’s what I get for thinking out loud….

SFX: POP

Panel four: Jughead is putting the pin back in his beanie as Ethel cups her hands and jumps in joy.

Jughead: Well, that’s my name on the paper, and a man’s name has to amount to something in this crazy little world of ours.

Ethel: YAY!

Panel five: Ethel hugs Jughead and rubs her face cheek against his as Jughead turns his head away in disgust.

Ethel: We’ll have fun! Just a quick bite at Pop’s and a simple little movie!

Ethel: That’s not so bad, is it, Juggie-wuggie?

Panel six: Ethel is skipping away happily as Jughead lowers his head in regret as the jetpack wearing penguin pats him on the back to give him some support.

Jughead: How the sins of youth tarnish a bright, happy future.

Page 4

Panel one: Jughead, wearing a regular shirt and jeans, is ringing Ethel’s door bell as he impatiently waits for her. On a nearby birdhouse, an eagle is trying to figure out how to get inside.

SFX: Ding Ding-a Ding

Jughead: Okay! I’m here! Let’s get this over with!—

Panel two: Jughead looks behind him like he is about to leave as the door to the Muggs’ home opens.

Jughead: --Or we can just call this entire thing off here and now.

Ethel: Always the kidder.

Panel three: Jughead looks blankly as Ethel has fixed up her hair and is wearing some of her best clothing.

Ethel: How do I look, Juggie?

Jughead: Two eyes like most people. But I guess you dressed yourself in the dark.

Panel four: Ethel is looking Jughead over with a nod of approval as Jughead looks at his clothing.

Ethel: And look at you! You look fantastic, and is that new cologne!?

Jughead: No. I gave Hot Dog his bath in these clothes last week. Never got around to washing them.

Panel five: Ethel and Jughead leave arm and arm as both begin to scratch their heads with their free arm. In the birdhouse, the eagle is sticking its head out and waving goodbye to the teens. The eagle has put a small American flag on the roof of the birdhouse to show he claims it as his home.

Ethel: One of the qualities I look for in a man is a love for animals.

Jughead: I hate pandas

Ethel: Nobody hates pandas.

Page 5

Panel one: Ethel and Jughead are walking along the street as they approach the Chocklit Shoppe. Jughead sadly looks to the road as an ice cream truck is passing by with the driver waving goodbye to Jughead.

Ethel: It sure is a nice, sunny afternoon, isn’t it?

Panel two: Jughead holds the door open for Ethel as he grumbles to himself and is thinking of himself sleeping in a hammock with nearly half of his body hanging out.

Ethel: Can you think of any other place you’d rather be?

Jughead: No comment.

Panel three: Jughead is following in after her as Ethel runs in to greet someone off-panel.

Ethel: Oh! C’mon, Juggie! I want to show how we look to my bestie!

Panel four: Jughead scratches his head as he looks ahead at who Ethel is motioning to come forward.

Jughead: “Bestie?” That’s girly talk for best friend, isn’t it?

Panel five: Ethel and Trula Twyst are walking up to Jughead as Jughead looks on in confusion. Trula tilts her head to the left and smiles.

Jughead: Then why are you doing with Trula Twyst? She eat your bestie?

Ethel: Juggie, Trula’s my BFF!

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is thinking to himself as Trula and Ethel joke with one another.

Trula: Look at you, Ethel. I really like what you’ve done with your hair.

Ethel: Thanks! I got the idea over at your house last week when we were watching…

Jughead thinking: Great! Lex Luthor and Bizarro are having sleepovers!

Panel two: Jughead is talking with Ethel as Trula listens in. Jughead motions with both arms swishing across his chest as he does not like the idea of these two being friends.

Jughead: Ethel, I do not approve of you socializing with Trula!

Trula: My, my. It looks like someone cares.

Panel three: Jughead points at Ethel and shrugs his shoulders as he describes her. Ethel responds as she doesn’t understand what Jughead is saying about her.

Jughead: Oh, don’t get me wrong, I consider you both a bane to my existence.

Jughead: It’s just that Ethel is more of a misguided evil—

Ethel: I have a good sense of direction.

Panel four: Jughead looks over at Trula who smirks at Jughead as she takes his insult as a compliment.

Jughead: --But you on the other hand, Trula Twyst, are true evil!!

Panel five: Ethel and Trula begin to talk and completely ignore Jughead’s comments much to his annoyance.

Ethel: Isn’t he just cute when he puts up that front of his?

Trula: Oh yes. And I’ve read studies that a man plays hard to get by setting up said front as a test to see how far the woman he loves will go to win him over…

Jughead: Hey! Hey! Stop trading notes!


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