Wait...they're are people out there who don't like Chuck...? I just can't believe that.

Welcome back.

Page 1

Panel one: Archie and Reggie are looking over at the Jones yard from the sidewalk as Jughead is actually working feverously as he is using a push lawnmower to mow the yard. Jughead is mowing over several small toy and the garden hose as he strains to push the lawnmower. Jughead is sweating, but he has a smile on his face, which takes Archie and Reggie by surprise. Both Archie and Reggie have presents prepared. Archie’s is half done and taped up every which way, while Reggie’s is perfect and has wrap paper of himself smiling.

Archie: Wow. The world just got more perplexing.

Reggie: You ain’t kidding, Freckles. Jughead Jones hard at work…

Archie: …With a smile from one enormous ear to the next?

Panel two: Jughead turns the mower off as he goes to Archie and Reggie. Reggie glares at Jughead suspiciously while Archie is far more greeting.

Jughead: Look at you layabouts, don’t you have anything you two can do to keep yourselves busy and out of trouble?

Archie: Okay, Jug, we give up. What happened to change hardly work to hard at work?

Panel three: Archie has a thought balloon of Jughead doing several jobs. One has him outside a bank dressed like Uncle Sam and doing the Uncle Sam point at someone who jumps back and the other has Jughead as a grocer sleeping on a stack of cans, and the last has Jughead cleaning a store window with cloths in both hands and his teeth as he wipes all at once. Jughead wipes sweat from his brow as he acts indifferent to Reggie pointing his finger insistently at him.

Archie: …I mean, the last few weeks you have taken every job available!

Reggie: Spill, hose nose! What’s your angle?

Jughead: Obtuse.

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead reaches into his pockets for a wadded up newspaper clip he had ripped out as Archie and Reggie look on.

Archie: C’mon, Jug. No way would you be working your tail off for nothing.

Jughead: Does anyone? But yeah, something caught my little closed eyes…

Panel two: Jughead shows Archie the wadded up newspaper clip as it is a picture of a red and blue soda machine called SODA STORM 3058! Reggie waves off Jughead and begins to leave in disgust.

Archie: A soda maker?

Reggies: Feh. Should have known it would be something stupid--!

Panel three: Jughead turns around and wads the newspaper back into his pocket as Archie walks towards him. Jughead avoids the rake placed on the ground but Archie is coming towards it as he rolls his eyes as Jughead talks.

Jughead: Perish the parched, Archie! Not just a soda maker--The soda maker!

Jughead: The Soda Storm 3058 is capable of making any sodas, fizzies and tonics!

Caption by rake: Hasn’t been put up for two years…!

Panel four: Jughead licks his lips as he thinks about the drinks he’ll soon be making as Archie has stepped on the rake and is falling backwards with his the gift he was holding flying into the air.

Jughead: All the carbonated combinations of sodas I can concoct to wet my whistle will make the aches and blisters I’ve endured worth it--!

THWACK
 
Panel five: Jughead catches the gift in the air as Archie is flat on the ground with a rake impression on his face as his eyes are glazed over and he has several stars and planets zooming around his head.

Jughead: Say, what’s this?

Archie: …Fer  Mother’s day, I’d go give it to ‘er, but this merry alien guy wants to fly me to the moon…!

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead is going inside his house as Archie is making like an airplane in the Jones yard, circling his present for his mother, as he is still not quite in our reality just yet. Jughead seems puzzled as he tilts his head.

Jughead: Times flies while you sleep your life away… 
Panel two: Jughead peeps into the kitchen to see his father setting up decorations for a party for Mrs. Jones. Mr. Jones is putting up a banner reading MOTHER’S DAY as he is on step ladder tying the banner to a string .as Jellybean is in her high seat looking on and Hot Dog is sitting at the table reading a magazine. A cake with blue icing with writing reading 4 D Best Mom on it is in the middle of the table as the plates and eating utensils are set for a party.

Jughead: Pop, did you know that it was mother’s day?

Mr. Jones: I just noticed it out the corner of my eyes, son.

Panel three: Jughead begins to walk over to the cake as he begins to salivate. Mr. Jones jerks around in alarm as Jellybean turns towards Jughead and Hot Dog’s bristles begin to rise up as he shows his teeth as he slams the magazine on the table.

Jughead: Funny, you throwing a party and not telling me about it…

Panel four: Mr. Jones blocks the path with both arms as Hot Dog is in front of him looking like he might attack as he guards the cake. Jellybean has her fists balled as if she was going to fight Jughead off.

Mr. Jones: It’s not funny when you go over your history involving food and parties!!

Jughead: You eat five birthday cakes in one year, and the trust is scattered to the wind like birthday candle smoke.

Panel five: Mr. Jones asks Jughead what he has for his mom as Jughead holds out his arms to signal a hug.

Mr. Jones: You do have your mother a present, don’t you? She’s only going to be gone for another few hours running errands.

Jughead: I was just now planning on giving her the biggest hug!

Page 4

Panel one: Mr. Jones shakes his head as Jughead scratches his head as he seems to give in.

Mr. Jones: Hugs stop being a gift when you can walk to the bus stop alone.

Jughead: Overachieved far too much far too soon.

Panel two: Jughead begins to leave the kitchen as reluctantly complies. Mr. Jones holds his hands to his face and sighs.

Jughead: Well, I guess I do have a few extra dollars to spare after I pick up my soda maker. Be back in a few.

Mr. Jones: Take your time! The appreciation for the woman who gave birth to you and loves you unconditionally is crowding out all the oxygen!

Panel three: Jughead is walking along in Riverdale as he is in front of Gem’s Jewels as several pearl necklaces are out on display as Jughead slouches along. On the window is a sign reading: MOTHER DAY SALE (because some of us wish we had a mother to give presents to…)

Jughead: I have given mom the same library book for a gift the last two years, so maybe something permanent would be a nice change of pace.


Panel four: Jughead tilts his body back as he looks at the pearl necklaces. One pearl necklace in the middle with a price tag of 105 dollars catches Jughead’s eyes. The other pearls are different weird colors. A red set has a price tag reading: ARM AND LEG. A blue set of pearls has a price tag of: More than your house.

Jughead: Now, those oyster stones are just the kind of sparkles that women love…

Panel five: Jughead takes out his paper clipping of the soda maker as has his left hand on his chin as he examines the situation.

Jughead: But those overpriced marbles would nearly drain me dry, and I’d go thirsty.

Panel six: Jughead shrugs his shoulders as he begins to take a step away.

Jughead: Eh. It’s the thought that counts, and I did think about it.

She beat Jughead in an eating contest?

Anyway, Raj, yeah he's been on some covers, but he's been in some stories in digests too. Not every month, but enough where I'm okay with it. Toni...She's been on a ton of covers since December.
and no in stories that I know of.

I just can't stand Toni Topaz being on the covers. Look, I know the covers don't matter to the stories--but at least the characters on the cover will be IN the stories. I know it shouldn't bother me, but her being on the cover just doesn't seem fair to me.

I know it's not rational and I shouldn't let it bother me but--c'mon, Trula was in two stories last month in Jughead Digest alone while Toni was on about four or five covers!! It just doesn't make sense to me!! 

Okay, the story is called "EAT YOUR WORDS!" and is in Jughead's Double Digest 154. Jughead is going on with various food facts and Reggie bets him lunch if he can go without talking about
food. Jughead then begins to give out various quotes, historical facts, and ect. A six page story.

Sorry I don't have a scanner. Maybe someone else can post pics.

The Princess Bride.

Why can't Archie Comics adapt this into a comic?