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« on: March 04, 2014, 09:11:10 PM »
Jughead Double Double Digest 200
Finally getting around to it. Might as well since the stupid Mr. Peabody Dreamworks display got rid of the cheap five dollar DVD display at my local Wal-Mart. I finally have the five dollars to get the 10th Kingdom and I get bodychecked by a time traveling dog in the electronic section!!
1. Craig Boldman and Rex Lindsey. I just need to start writing in ďDUHĒ when I do the Jughead and Archie reviews. Great opening story where Archie and Jughead get tricked into doing each others Check-out Checklist by Reggie. You also have Reggie trying to troll Jughead by cutting up his pants and Jugheadís laziness being used for Principal Weatherbeeís benefitÖfor a bit.
2 Samm Schwartz. And for him I should start writing in just ďDITTO.Ē You canít go wrong. Itís all covered from Ethel to tricking Reggie and the teachers to bad ties to Jughead just being a plan weird. Itís all glorious and Gladir and Doyle deserve credit for writing these great stories for Schwartz to illustrate. Sammís The Man.
3 Hey we get some more of the supporting cast. One thing I didnít like about the last double double digest was that a lot of characters in Jugheadís history didnít get any print. This one rectifies that as we have a Trula Twyst story (FINALLY), Ethel gets a good chunk of stories, Beazley gets a spotlight story, Jellybean is at her most adorable, and Wendy Weatherbee! Wow. I donít remember a single Jughead digest I own where sheís actually in a story or talks. Nearly everyone is covered. The only people absent are Joani and Debbie (which they should be), Sassy Thrasher and Toni Topaz. But Toni will probably be on a gazillion more digest covers to make up for it. Again a much better representation of the characters in Jugheadís long history. Heck, I forgot how Jughead and Mr. Andrews relationship was a lot like Archie and Mr. Lodge.
4 Bingo Wilkin. Again two awesome Wilkin stories. You have Buddy expanding his horizons and causing trouble to more people than usual and Bingo missing out on a meal by Samantha as he gets easily distracted. Both stories by Doyle and DeCarlo and Goldberg art at their best.
5 Nearly everyone involved. You have great writing from Doyle, Gladir and art running the gauntlet from Ruiz (early and later art), more of the old time artists like Terry Szenics and Lucy. I mean, if you went,Ē I want a digest where everyone who drew or wrote an Archie story has something contributedóthis would be the issue Iíd recommendĒ. I mean, think about this: some of the people I mentioned on art also did letters and inking for other artists. I mean, talk about overqualified!! Heck, Iím not a Doug Crane fan, but his one story is really good. The only big name I can think of that isnít in this digest is Dan Parent, so sorry for the Dan Parent fans out there.
1. Time Police. Wow. This thing just derailed the more it went down the track, huh? I just canít figure out Gene Colan. The first time I saw his art in Time Police. It was good. Then the next time it was mushy and bad like an issue of TMNT adventures he did; like someone rubbed their palm against his finished pages and smudged them up. NowÖitís like a bad version of Dan Parent art mixed in with Doug Craneís usual art. Itís wonky. I can appreciate the time travel aspect and trying to resolve a few plotholes, but I canít get past the art.
2. Repeat stories. Yeah, yeah, just hear me out on this one. I know that all stories are reprints, but I believe that you should not repeat within a year. Next year? Yeah. Two years later? Super. But Iím fairly certain that two of these stories were in digests within a year. I donít have the books with me right now (My cousin is getting into reading and I gave the little tyke my Jughead digests booksÖyeah, Iím a softie) But Iím really certain they have. Iím sorry, but I canít ignore that.
I have to give this issue a B+. I just canít go higher because of the incredibly bad Time Police and two repeat stories that are too soon for my liking (That's wasted pages to me). Now, if you havenít gotten every Jughead digest this year and havenít read these stories, boot it up to an A because then the page number would bring it up enough for me to ignore the Time Police story. But still, like I said, there are aspects to this double double that were met where the last one came up short. I recommend buying this issue.
What I learned from this issue
1. Being gay with someone and giving them the bird were much more innocent figure of speeches back in the day.
2. Sometimes the improbable is more possible than a simple task quantified.
3. Goldie Bassinger Stone. The child star that would have taken over the world!
4. What sandwich your favorite Archie character is.
5. There is a student in Riverdale whoís head is a smiley face.
6. Glowing + Jughead being hungry = THE MOST MENANCING MONSTER IN RIVERDALE!!
7. If you pull a prank, watch your own back.
8. CSI, SVUÖother letters put together, they should just use snowmen to identify criminals.
9. Never mess with Beazleyís pots!
10. Wendy Weatherbee plans on majoring in the history of hats in Riverdale University.
« on: March 04, 2014, 12:45:27 AM »
Panel one: Archie is wearing a suit and dress pants as he begins to sit down at his computer desk. On Archieís computer desk are various school books, a picture of Veronica and Betty together. A bobble head of Cosmo The Merry Martian is just to the right of the monitor.
Archie: Already set for the big date with Veronica with minutes to spare! And itís not like Ronnie is ever ready early or on timeÖ
Archie: And I did just download this game this morning and never had a chance to playÖ
Panel two: An over the shoulder view of the computer screen as an online game called OUTLIVE is on the monitor. The words OUTLIVE are on the monitor in front of a broken down psychiatric ward while a wind storm is going on. Inside of the psych ward we can see a crazy person at the window sarcastically waving hello.
Archie: Wow. ThatísÖa little creepy.
Panel three: Archie rolls up his sleeve to show all the goosebumps he has. The Cosmo the Merry Martian bobble head turns its head as its expression has changed to one of fright.
Computer: CREEAKKK CRAAAAKK
Archie: Okay. Itís a lot creepy.
Page 2 (The rest of the pages do not show the computer screen and just show Archie and whoever nearby him reacting to only what they see.)
Panel one: Archie is leaning up to the monitor as he reads out loud. He squints his eyes slightly as he reads.
Archie: ďThis is Outlive. You are ace reporter Niles Downlo and have received tip-offs to weird experimental procedures at a psychiatric hospital nicknamed The Roach Motel.Ē
Archie: ďOutlive whom and whatever is inside.Ē
Panel two: Archie leans back as he brushes off the cryptic opening message as he keeps his fingers on the keyboard and begins to play the game.
Archie: Sounds like a typical weird mystery to me.
Panel three: Archie sits straight up in shock at what he sees on the monitor.
Archie: Wow! I just got in and I see that guy!? H-heísÖlying down.
Panel four: Archie becomes tense as he continues onward. Archie uses his left hand to open up his suit a little as he begins to sweat and looks on nervously.
Archie: Sure are a lot of peopleÖlying down. Everywhere. At more than one place at the same time.
Panel five: Archie eases up a little as he squints a left eye and begins to examine something on the monitor.
Archie: Hey, thereís someone! Iíll see what he has to say!
Panel six: Archie jumps out of his computer chair as the sudden motion causes the chair to wheel back several inches.
Archie: Eww! What happened to your face!!? Itís like when Jughead chews caramel apples with his mouth open!!
Panel one: Archie has one hand typing on the keyboard as he uses his other free arm to pull back his computer chair as he has tongue sticking out as he is stretching his body out.
Archie: Okay. Looks can be deceiving. He can be a friend.
Panel two: Archie glares at the monitor as he shakes his fist at the computer screen.
Archie: Hey! You threw me across the hall!! Youíre no friend of mine!!
Panel three: Archie presses buttons rapidly with his right hand as he is using his left hand as he acts like he is pushing someone forward.
Archie: Heís coming for me!! Run! Run! Run!
Pane four: Archie has ducked under his computer desk as he types. The door to his room is beginning to open as Veronica, wearing an elegant black dress, pearl necklace, and black high heel shoes angrily comes into the room.
Archie: Heís looking for me!! Hide! Hide! Hide!
Panel five: Veronica is standing over Archie with her arms folded as she glares down at Archie who is still hiding under the computer desk with only hands on the keyboard visible.
Archie: Odd. Iím well hidden, but I still donít feel safe.
Panel six: Veronica kicks at Archie as Archie bangs his head under the computer desk as everything on the desk shakes.
Veronica: You canít hide from me, you louse!
Panel one: Veronica begins to examine the computer monitor as Archie is holding his head with both hands as he is finally coming into view. A red pain star is coming from the top of his head.
Veronica: Where have you been?! Iíve waited and waited andó
Veronica: Oh. I see how it is.
Panel two: Veronica grabs the mouse and begins to move it over as Archie is just now getting to his feet as he is shaking off the blow to his head.
Veronica: Talking to another girl on Skyp, huh? Who is it? Betty? Cheryl?
Panel three: Veronica begins to roll up on the scroll wheel of the mouse as she leans in to the monitor as Archie waves his arms
Veronica: Look at this room of hers! So gothicÖ!
Veronica: Is it Wendy?!
Panel four: Archie points at the screen in pure fright as Veronica turns her head towards him.
Archie: Look out!!
Veronica: No! You look out!!
Panel five: Veronica turns to the monitor as her hair stands up on end and her face goes white in pure terror. Archie dashes back to the computer chair and takes the controls back over.
Panel six: Veronica is hiding behind Archieís chair as she peeks out from over Archieís right shoulder.
Veronica: What in the world is that?!
Archie: A crazy guy who hits really hard! Heís like Moose only uglier, not as strong, and without a Midge!
Panel one: Veronica is standing next to Archie as he continues to play.
Veronica: Go in that room!
Panel two: Veronica puts a hand on Archieís shoulder as he rolls his eyes.
Veronica: Hide therer--no thatís dirty.
Veronica: And that bed quilt is clearly not 2.000 threadedÖ
Panel three: Archie turns to Veronica as he tries to reason with her.
Archie: A crazy guy is trying to get me!
Panel four: Veronica waves off her hand as if waving off her pervious complaints physically as Archie turns back to the computer screen.
Veronica: That bed to the right corner. Itís at least been made by the help.
Panel five: Veronica is motioning with her arm like sheís throwing a football as Archie shakes his head.
Veronica: Forget hiding! Be a man! Stand and fight! Throw the camera at him!!
Archie: I canít fight back in this game! I can only run and hide!
Panel six: Veronica turns away from Archie in frustration and sticks her nose up in the air as Archie puts his right elbow on the computer desk and rests the right side of his head on his right hand and uses his left hand to tap the computer desk with all his fingers as his reaction to Veronicaís snide remark.
Veronica: Hmph! So itís like real life!
« on: March 03, 2014, 01:00:56 PM »
Sounds like he's got a bunch of wonderful ideas.
« on: March 03, 2014, 08:58:34 AM »
Panel one: Inside the Jones living room, Mr. and Mrs. Jones are watching the news as Jellybean is playing with a pink box and Hot Dog is playing with the doll that came with the box. On the news is Riverdaleís Newsteam as they report on the Soda Price Increase. Mrs. Jones nods in agreement as Mr. Jones points a finger at the TV with conviction and determination.
Newswoman: ÖAnd the mayor has started a trial run as soda prices have shot up nearly five hundred percent and all fast food or restaurants can no longer serve large size soft drinks.
Newswoman: Weíll continue to report on the results to the community both health and financially wise in the days to come.
Mr. Jones: As long as he doesnít touch our coffee!
Panel two: Jughead is coming down the stairs with a giant trash bag that is filled to the brink with empty can and bottle sodas of various sizes as he has to have both arms wrapped around it to just barely hold it to his chest.
Mrs. Jones: I must say, Jughead has taken this better than I thought.
Mr. Jones: I know. First thing he did when he came in was to clean up his room of all the empty soda cans and bottles lying about.
Panel three: Googie Gilmore is doing jumping jacks in her yard as Jughead dumps the enormous amounts of empty soda bottles and cans over the fence and into her yard.
Jughead: Here! You want to Clean Street Riverdale? Why donít you focus on your yard first, you crazy health nut?!
Panel four: Googie Gilmore is talking over the fence at Jughead as Jughead has a thought balloon of a utopia where everyone is happy and holding hands as they sing and dance around the world with a giant happy sun using a rainbow as a jump rope in the bright blue sky.
Googie Gilmore: Jughead, Iím doing this for the greater good! Canít you imagine a world where there were no sodas, or candy and everyone didnít watch TV for most of the day?
Panel five: Jughead is walking away in disgust as he rejects the idea and Googie Gilmore glares at Jughead.
Jughead: Iíd rather sit down with a soda and candy bar while skimming through my DVR!
Googie You will conform, Jughead Jones! You wonít have a choice!
Panel one: Jughead is walking into The Chocklit Shop as Googie Gilmore is lecturing Pop Tate as Pop Tate is trying his best to be patient as he hand tosses her a salad.
Jughead: Sheesh. Is no place sacred to that girl? You donít see me jogging in the park!
Googie Gilmore: --And you should really check into healthier ice cream options. I have a list. Oh, and more salads. I canít even begin to tell you all the chemicals that they put in ground beefÖ
Panel two: Jughead takes his standard seat in the stool as Googie Gilmore begins to eat her salad.
Googie Gilmore: Donít you feel better now that Iíve taken away the temptations of soft drinks? More energy for the day!
Jughead: Why donít you use that energy to run into a brick wall, Googie?
Panel three: Jughead begins to order as Pop Tate reminds him of the soda size limit as Googie Gilmore smiles.
Jughead: Extra Large Big Pop with a Giant Big Pop Gulp, míman, andó
Pop: Jughead, I canít sell large or extra large sizes.
Googie Gilmore: Thatís right. Itís the law.
Panel four: Jughead casually shrugs his shoulders as Pop Tate begins to fetch his order. Googie Gilmoreís eyes light up in shock.
Jughead: A Big Pop and two medium sodas then.
Googie Gilmore: !!!
Panel five: Googie Gilmore gets up and slams her hands into the counter as Jughead and Pop Tate look at her as Pop Tate is pouring Jugheadís two medium sized drinks.
Googie: Y-you canít do that! Thatís the same as an extra large serving..!!
Panel six: Pop Tate hands Jughead his drinks as he goes back to flipping burgers as he prepares the buns and tomatoes. Jughead smiles at Googie as he reaches at the straw box at the counter and pulls out two straws.
Jughead: True, but thereís nothing in the law saying a person canít order more than one drink!
Googie Gilmore: ButÖitís the principle andÖandÖyouíre ruining the systemÖ!
Panel one: Jughead sticks his tongue out at Googie as Googie becomes enraged.
Jughead: You know what that saladís missing? A raspberry.
Panel two: Mayor Glibb is outside Pop Tateís as he is talking to a reporter and her camera man as he sticks out his chest in pride.
Mayor Glibb: ..Yes siree, Iím proud of my soda tax. And Iím going to go inside this vittles store and I want you fine folks at home to see how well the teens are doing.
Mayor Glibb: In fact, the young lady who helped me with my notion is inside ready to show you all what good this tax has done good.
Caption: Another coincidence?
Panel three: Googie Gilmore is yelling right in Jugheadís face as Mayor Glibb goes inside as the camera man catches everything.
Googie Gilmore: You stupid jerk!! I did not work so hard to make everyone do what I wanted for you to sit there in your stupid stool and mock everything Iíve done!!
Panel four: Jughead rolls his eyes towards his left to the door as Googie Gilmore continues to yell at him.
Googie Gilmore: You people who donít exercise or eat healthy or care about your bodies disgust me! You donít know whatís good for you!! None of you!!
Googie Gilmore: Can you even defend yourself!? Can you!?
Panel five: Jughead points towards Mayor Glibb who is red faced in embarrassment as the camera man and the reporter look at him. Googie Gilmore twists her face in confusion as she has yet to notice the mayor.
Jughead: This isnít football where you defend when someone is being offensive.
Panel one: Mayor Glibb is leaving with the reporter and camera man as Googie Gilmore looks on with her arms hanging to her side and her jaw dropped as she canít believe what has happened. Pop Tate is handing Jughead his triple patty Big Pop burger as Jughead rubs his hands together in anticipation.
Mayor Glibb: Well, Texas wasnít built inna day, folks. Weíll just loosen the bottle cap on the soda tax and just encourage yíall to exercise.
Panel two: Googie Gilmore runs out after the Mayor, waving her arms frantically as she nearly knocks over several people in her way.
Googie Gilmore: Wait! Donít go back! Two steps back is really two inches from sitting back on the couch and watching TV all day!!
Panel three: Jughead has turned to the counter and is drinking the soda with a straw in each nostril as he casually talks with Pop Tate who rolls his eyes as he wipes the counter with a wash rag. Jughead is reaching for his giant hamburger as he licks his lips.
Jughead: Itís amazing how manipulative some people can be to get their way, huh, Pop?
Pop Tate: You plan on paying, Jughead?
Jughead: Put it myóno, make a tab for Veronica. Sheís rich. She likes spending money. This way Iím being a good friend.
Pop Tate: Sigh.
« on: March 02, 2014, 10:56:22 AM »
Whew. Don't think I could go another month without Toni Topaz on a digest cover.
« on: March 01, 2014, 01:34:51 AM »
So Archie's a punk in the story?
« on: March 01, 2014, 01:01:56 AM »
No problem. I normally post a new part after someone posts or about fifty people have looked at it. Sometimes a hundred because I want to see how long it takes.
Panel one: Googie Gilmore is gnashing her teeth and her fists are balled and a blood vein is throbbing on her forehead to illustrate her rage. Running up the street is Mayor Glibb, in an orange and purple jogging suit, still wearing his oversized cowboy hat, is jogging up the sidewalk near her.
Googie Gilmore: If I ever get my way, those words would be the last fattening things he’d ever eat!
Caption: Hey, you know how funny coincidences often happen in these stories?
Panel two: Mayor Glibb tilts his head towards Googie as he jogs past her.
Caption: Howdy, future voter.
Googie Gilmore: Mayor Glibb!?
Panel three: Googie Gilmore is smiling from ear to ear as she has an energy saving light bulb over her head as her eyes narrow.
Panel four: Googie Gilmore is jogging with Mayor Glibb as Mayor Glibb listens.
Googie Gilmore: Mayor Glibb! Have you heard about “Clean Street”?
Mayor Glibb: Y’all talkin’ ‘bout sanitation, darling?
Googie Gilmore: I was talking more about this new health fad that all us teens are into now…
Panel five: A far away view as the two are jogging along. Close by, the soda rabbit is checking an empty soda can for soda as several nearby birds look on in confusion.
Mayor Glibb: Liken that broadband high speed computer pipes you kids are into?
Googie Gilmore: Oh, it can be bigger with a leader like you enfor—er, acting in the people’s benefit--
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is in his yard as Googie Gilmore is approaching him with a notebook tucked under her right arm. Mr. Weatherbee is sitting on a yard chair, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, straw hat, shorts and sandals. Mr. Weatherbee waves her over.
Caption: A short time later.
Googie Gilmore: Mr. Weatherbee, I hope it’s okay if I talk with you.
Mr. Weatherbee: Of course. I always have time for my students.
Googie Gilmore: Super! I want to discuss “Clean Street.”.
Panel two: Googie Gilmore has shoved the notebook in his face as it has three stacks of pages on each side overlapping as Mr. Weatherbee gazes in amazement at the detail. One stack is a line chart showing profit for healthy snack foods in school, another is a flyer for a Healthy Nut Bars Machines—We deliver immediately, and the other is a pie graph on healthy food in Riverdale machines vs. not (with healthy food only at one percent of the pie chart). The other side of the notebook has Clean Street: Less Junk Food more Princeless Food! The next page is titled: LIST OF HEALTH FOOD IN SCHOOL AND PROFITS FOR AFTERSCHOOL PROGRAMS. The last page has a clipping of a Central High showing off their new Healthy Nut Vending Machines.
Googie Gilmore: I just ran into Mayor Glibb and he went over this wonderful proposal for a healthier Riverdale. And he felt that someone of your important to us young adults would be a great partner to help get the wheels spinning.
Mr. Weatherbee: Well, I do what a man of my stature can. I think I can convince the school board on a few changes that we can implement rather quickly.
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee is looking over the notebook and unfolding a massive six foot chart as Googie Gilmore looks on triumphantly.
Googie Gilmore: That great, Mr. Weatherbee.
Googie Gilmore: I can think of one person who will just love these changes…
Panel one: Jughead is entering Riverdale High as he pats the change in his pocket as he licks his lips as he happily thinks of the soda he’s going to drink. Several students enter along side of him. The Riverdale Bulldog mascot is in full costume as he has three school books under his right arm and a giant chew toy boy under his left. Jughead doesn’t notice along the walls and locker several flyers reading: Clean Street. SIGN UP TO GOOD HEALTH.
Jughead: Well, first period is about to begin might as well get my morning soda number two of six out of the way.
Panel two: Jughead turns the corner to see several maintenance men wheeling out the old Cosmos Soda machine and putting in a Healthy Nut Vitamin Water machine. The mascot sticks out on top and is a giant nut with blond hair drinking vitamin water while giving everyone a thumbs up. The Health Nut mascot has a word balloon next to it reading: Drink Healthy, Dudes!!! Several members of the football team (including Moose, Reggie, and Chuck) are waiting for the Healthy Nut Vitamin Water to be installed. Jughead looks on sadly as the soda machine is being wheeled away.
Panel three: Jughead looks around to see Veronica and Betty wearing Clean Street shirts along with various other students like Raj, Ginger, and Frankie. Jughead begins to notice all the flyers for Clean Street on the lockers and walls. The soda machine is being wheeled behind Jughead as he darts his head every which way as the change in scenery has finally gotten his attention.
Jughead: Something has happened. Something evil has happened.
Panel four: Someone shoves a Riverdale Gazette newspaper in front of Jughead’s face as he turns around.
Googie off-panel: Have you read today’s morning paper?
Panel four: Jughead’s eye light up and his mouth drops as he reads the Riverdale Gazette’s Headline: SODA LAWS INSTALLED IMMEDIATELY BY MAYOR! SODAS TO COST AN ARM AN A LEG! THAT’S RIGHT, NO MORE MATCHING SET!
Panel five: Googie Gilmore places a Clean Street shirt over Jughead shoulder as Jughead frantically flips through the paper. Googie Gilmore has a smug smile from ear to ear as she revels in Jughead’s distress.
Googie Gilmore: Yeah, I talked with Mr. Weatherbee and the mayor. And they just loved my idea.
Panel six: Googie Gilmore is striding away as she waves back at Jughead. Jughead is ripping the Clean Street T-shirt in half as his face is scrunched up in rage and a vein is popping in his forehead.
Googie Gilmore: It’s a Brave New World. But don’t worry—I’ll make sure you live a long and healthy life in it!
Panel one: Jughead is racing out of school in the afternoon as he leaps over several students as he makes a mad dash. Several more students are wearing the Clean Street shirts and happily talking amongst themselves.
Jughead: I gotta beat my feet! Maybe she hasn’t squeezed out all the soda in Riverdale just yet.
Panel two: Jughead is outside of a convent store as the soda machine has a sign reading: NOT SO CONVIENT as Jughead gasps as a canned soda is now 5 dollars.
Jughead: That’s not good.
Panel three: Jughead is in a supermarket as he is biting his finger nails in worry as he sees that all the price tags for sodas now has the infinity sign. Several other small kids are fighting over a 20 oz bottle soda as the soda rabbit from earlier is hopping towards them. A warning is posted on a cardboard cut out of a cowboy with a deputy badge: MORE THAN ONE BOX OF SODA PURCHASE WILL LEAD TO LASSOING!!
Jughead: That’s much worse.
Panel four: Jughead sullenly walks out the supermarket as a woman has four carts filled with groceries and nearly runs over someone who is trying to make his way inside the Angles Supermarket. The soda rabbit has stolen the kids’ soda and is happily drinking it as he hops out after Jughead as the kids give chase. Nearby a cowboy has tied up a middle age man with his lasso and has the man’s two soda boxes under each armpit as he marches him away.
Jughead: Never underestimate the dedication women have to making men miserable.
Soda Rabbit: Hee Hee!
Kid: Annoying bunny! Soda is not for bunnies!
« on: February 27, 2014, 01:37:29 PM »
Oh, she went crazy! That's cool. I can image her tying Archie up and having a conversation with her doll about what to do with Archie...
Save that story idea for Halloween.
« on: February 27, 2014, 01:07:34 AM »
Yeah, and she carried around a doll named Minerva.
« on: February 23, 2014, 12:38:45 PM »
Panel one: Jughead is walking out his house as he is drinking a two liter soda. Jughead has his head titled back and is using his free left hand to keep his hat on. Even with his body bent awkwardly, Jugheadís lower body is walking normally. The soda Jughead is drinking is Cosmoís Merry Pop. Burp In Your Galaxy Vanilla. Above Jughead a group of red butterflies are flying in the formation of the letter B. Hot Dog is digging a hole, as from behind, a rabbit has dug a hole behind Hot Dog and is eyeing a dog bone at Hot Dogís side.
Jughead: Ah, there isnít a better way to start a morning than a small guzzle of soda!
Panel two: Jughead has finished the two liter bottle as he tosses it behind him as it falls towards the rabbit as the rabbit begins to make a grab for Hot Dogís bone. Jughead turns to his right.
Voice off-panel: Milk, vitamin water, energy drinks, and thatís just off the top of my head!
Jughead: Small head with a big mouth, or best known to my fans asó
Panel three: Jughead turns to see Googie Gilmore leaping over the fence that separates the Jones yard from the Gilmore yard. Googie is wearing a white t-shirt with CLEAN STREET in bold blue lettering. Jughead is not happy to see Googie Gilmore as he looks over at the reader. Walking in front of Googie is the rabbit who has somehow got itís head stuck in the two liter bottle as it hops around while trying to pull the bottle from its head. Hot Dog finishes burying his bone and is patting the dirt with his wagging tail.
Jughead: --Googie Gilmore!
Jughead: Wow. Weíre really doing a story with Googie Gilmore? Whatís next, Debbie and Joani?
Caption: You should appreciate that SOMEONE is writing new Jughead stories!!
Panel one: Jughead has his arms folded at his chest as he prepares for Googie to lecture him. Googie Gilmore is bending down at the rabbit as it is hopping all around her as it vainly tries to hop the two litter bottle form itís head.
Jughead: Okay, what is it Iíve done, nutritional nuisance? Too much butter on my roasted peanuts? Took the crust off my mayonnaise sandwiches?
Googie Gilmore: How do you not know?
Panel two: Jughead shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head to his left while Googie Gilmore has the rabbit in her left arm and is using her right hand to pull the soda bottle off of the rabbitís head. The rabbit is using both of its hind legs to help.
Jughead: A full stomach every second of the day is healthy eating to me.
Panel three: Googie Gilmore lets the rabbit hop down from her arms as she waves the two litter bottle at Jugheadís nose.
Googie Gilmore: Itís unhealthy to drink sodas! Especially a two liter! Do you know how much sugar is in just a serving?! How addictive it is?!
Panel four: Jughead waves Googie off as the rabbit begins to hop up and nearly reaches the two liter soda bottle.
Jughead: Thatís propaganda from the vitamin water groups!
Panel five: The rabbit grabs the two liter bottle out of Googie hands to the bewilderment of Jughead and Googie.
Panel six: Googie motions towards the rabbit as it is now on its back and is holding the two liter soda bottle with all paws as it happily waits for a single drop of soda to land on his outstretched tongue. Googie is tapping her left thigh with her finger and sneers at Jughead. Jughead grabs at his throat like he is parched, to illustrate thirst.
Jughead: He could just be very thirsty for all you know!
Panel one: Googie Gilmore sticks out her chest to show off her shirt as Jughead rolls his eyes.
Googie Gilmore: Everyone should be like me and practice Clean Street.
Jughead: I donít even half mow my yard muchless pick up litter off the street.
Panel two: Googie Gilmore is going over the concept of Clean Street with a giant smile on her face as she holds up three fingers.
Googie: Jughead, havenít you heard your body is your temple? Well, the path to that temple is a clean street where you donít eat candy, you donít sit around watching TV, and you donít even sip soft drinks!
Panel three: Jughead waves her off with a smile as he begins to go off on his way to Googieís aggravation. In the background the rabbit is angrily banging the soda across the fence as he wants a stubborn soda drop to come out. The butterflies are now forming a question mark over the soda bunny.
Jughead: Eh, Iím much happier with my dirty, grungy road leading to my local fast food joint.
Panel four: Googie rushes in front of him as Jughead glares at her. Googie points a finger at Jugheadís nose.
Googie: Listen, Jones. If you lived your life the way I do mine, youíd be in tip top shape!
Googie: No flab! No flubber! There wouldnít be a day you wouldnít give yourself a pat on the back.
Panel five: Jughead begins to pat his back as Googie looks on in confusion
Jughead: Good idea.
Panel six: Jughead burps a massive pink cloud of soda bubble in the shape of a ghost in Googie direction as she cups her hands over her mouth and nose as she looks like she is going to pass out.
Panel one: Googie is on her hands and knees as she is coughing and gagging from Jugheadís soda burp. Jughead is going about his day as he holds his hand up to signal goodbye. The rabbit is sitting on the soda bottle his right eye begins to twitch from the soda withdraw.
Googie: Gaah! Arrhh! You--!! My eyes--!! Calories in my corneas!!
Jughead: Well, Iíd like to lie and say it was fun, but Iím honest to a fault.
Panel two: Googie begins to stand up and cups her hands over her mouth as she shouts at Jughead so he can hear her loud and clear
Googie: You and your sodas! Weíre going to save Riverdale and get rid of those tonics of doom!
Panel three: Jughead turns back to Googie as Googie listens and as her facial expression shows the realization that Jughead is right.
Jughead: We who? When I look through the orchard that is Riverdale, youíre the only health nut I see in the trees.
Panel four: Googie Gilmore is gritting her teeth as Jughead continues to walk away as he is farther along in the distance. Googie Gilmore shakes a fist in Jugheadís direction that he doesnít see or bother to acknowledge.
Jughead: Sodas are in our school and everywhere else in Riverdale. If people like Mr. Weatherbee or Mayor Glibb don't care, why should anyone else?
Googie: They will care! Ií11 make them care! Iíll clean out the kidneys of Riverdale! Youíll see!
Googie: A new broom will sweep the streets clean! Mark my words!
Panel five: Jughead has his hands in his pockets unconcerned as he continues walking. Googie Gilmore pulling at her hair and biting the collar of her shirt in rage some distance behind him.
Jughead: You understand if I donít leave the cap off my sharpee, right?
« on: February 23, 2014, 07:47:13 AM »
Playtape needs to spend a podcast uncovering the mystery of Toni Topaz on all the covers.
Personally, I think someone at Archie's just likes the character. And I can't say I wouldn't put my favorite character on a few covers if I could.
« on: February 22, 2014, 09:35:45 PM »
She was in the storyline where Jughead moved out of his home and into other peoples' home where she met
...And yeah there's that one cameo as a mermaid when Betty and Veronica were doing a ton of fairy tale stories.
Lots and lots of digest covers. LOTS.
...She's in Betty's rock group in the current Archie World tour (Ask Jon how much, I read about it in his blog.)
Let's just put it this way, there's a fairly big discrepancy from stories she's in to covers she's on.
« on: February 22, 2014, 12:03:48 AM »
Panel one: Bingo is lying on the now totally leaf clean yard as he is panting for air. Next to him is The Big Blow Hard which has run out of fuel and is now conked out, almost looking like a half filled balloon.
Bingo: So that’s why most things come with manuals,
Panel two: Bingo is sitting up as he turns his head to the perfectly clean green backyard.
Bingo: Hey, now this right here isn’t half bad!
Panel three: Bingo looks up at the tree to see that it is completely barren.
Bingo: Even the trees have been plucked completely!
Panel four: Bingo begins to pop his jacket collar in pride as he heads inside his house.
Bingo: Work harder, not smarter. That’s the Wilkin mantra!
Panel one: Bingo is taking off his jacket and cap and placing them on a nearby coat rack in the living room as his father is sitting on the couch watching TV. On the TV monitor is a picture of Cosmo the Merry Martian waving hello to the viewers.
Mr. Wilkin: What are you doing back in? There’s no way you can possibly be done so soon!
Bingo: There’s always a way when you apply yourself to the task at hand.
Panel two: Mr. Wilkin is getting up and heading outside as he plans on investigating. Bingo is plopping down on the sofa as he turns the TV to Pat The Brat as Bingo gives his father the okay hand signal as his reply.
Mr. Wilkin: And seeing is believing! I’m taking my four eyes to do an inspection of your work!
Panel three: Mr. Wilkin is stepping outside the yard
Mr. Wilkin: Yowza! I like seeing that green grass!
Panel four: Mr. Wilkin is beginning to pick up The Big Blow Hard as he smirks as he realizes how Bingo was able to complete his task.
Mr. Wilkin: Hm. Well, not how I wanted, but I can’t argue with the results.
Mr. Wilkin: Still, something is troubling me…
Panel five: Mr. Wilkin is holding The Big Blow Hard with one hand as he uses his free hand to scratch his head as he is bewildered by where the leaves are. Just across the fence we can see that all the leaves have overtaken Sampson’s yards as it is completely overrun with leaves to the point of nearly eight inches of dried up autumn leaves. The Smythe house sliding back doors are just in view as Sampson is staring out at his yard in shock
Mr. Wilkin: Where did he put all of those leaves…?
Panel one: Sampson is stomping out in his yard as he is ankle deep in leafs as he stretches out his arms to show the scope of the leafs in his yard.
Sampson: I don’t get it!! I had this yard perfect and now it looks like a candidate for a compost heap!
Panel two: Sampson is looking over at the fence into The Wilkin yard as he sees Mr. Wilkin with the leaf blower. Over his head is a thought balloon which has 2 + 2 = a picture of Mr. Wilkin as a rat, complete with haircut, glasses and Hawaiian shirt.
Sampson: I should have known you’d be behind this crime scene!
Mr. Wilkin: Eh?
Sampson: I’m through taking it easy on you, Wilkins!!
Panel three: Mr. Wilkin is in mid sentence on correcting him, but stops in fright as Sampson, his muscles bulging and his face bright red with anger and hate is leaping over the fence to give Mr. Wilkin a beating.
Mr. Wilkin: How many times do I have to tell you, you muscle bond goon! WILKIN! No “S”…uh-oh.
Sampson: I’ll be sure to spell check you tombstone for ya!!
Mr. Wilkin: …gulp…
Panel one: Bingo is lying on the couch reading a Derby Dalton comic (A character wearing a bowler hat with a feather in the trim drinking a soda) as we can see the lower half of Mr. Wilkin beginning to stand over Bingo. We can see that his shirt and jeans have been torn and ripped like he’d been mauled by a Doberman pincher as his fists are balled at his side.
Bingo: So, dad, how’d I do?
Panel two: Bingo rolls his eyes upward in surprise as Mr. Wilkin’s shadow has now engulfed Bingo to illustrate the danger he is currently in.
Panel three: Bingo feigns a smile as he looks at his battered and bruised dad who is just glaring down at his son. Mr. Wilkin’s glasses have been broken with one lens out and the frame warped and bent. He is sporting several bruises and a left black eye. His clothing has been tore in various places and his hair is completely out of place. He is also sporting a fat lip and various bruises along his face, stomach, arms, and legs.
Mr. Wilkin: Oh, if having your father set up to be attacked by his mortal enemy, then you did a wonderful job--!!
Bingo: Um, is there any chance this story could just end now…?
Caption: Sorry, this is a nine pager, but I’ll try to make it quick and painless.
The only panel: Bingo is on the Smythe side of the yard as he is being forced to toss back every leaf that fell onto the Smythe hard back over the fence to the Wilkin yard by hand as Mr. Wilkin, with his arms folded at his chest watches on from his side of the yard. Bingo is sweating and his clothing is wrinkled up as several leafs are stuck in his hair and clothing as he feverishly works to clean up the Smythe backyard. Sampson is watching everything from the glass sliding doors to his house as he uses a straw to drink a health shake as he keeps his eyes on Bingo. Out of Bingo’s jacket pocket we can see a white plastic fork sticking out.
Mr. Wilkin: …And once you have every leaf back in our yard, I want you to rake our yard with your fork, bag all the leafs, and I just talked to old lady Hopkins about some more yard work!
Bingo: Deserts. They must be nice. No trees. No leafs. Nice barren sand dunes.
Caption: Okay, not painless….
« on: February 21, 2014, 11:05:53 PM »
Thanks. Glad you two liked the review. And that's an interesting fact, BR.
« on: February 21, 2014, 12:55:46 PM »
Yep. Able to pick up another digest and from the new Funhouse Digests, so I figure why not? Same logic I had as a kid when I kept riding my wagon down the hill to crash into the pine tree at the end of the road. I wish I could remember more of my childhood some days...
Reggie. I know that there are a lot of people here who want Reggie to have his own title. Well, this extremely close. This is the most Iíve seen Reggie in any digest Iíve read. Heís one of the main characters in most of the stories and is even in a good chunk of the one page funnies. And itís Reggie at his best. Last review I mentioned how Reggie was a loser and easily outwitted. In these stories, heís actually really clever and devious and at his arrogant best. It takes luck, out thinking, and just out lasting through sheer perseverance and outside the box thinking for Archie to come ahead. Reggie in ďRace AceĒ sums up how his rivalry with Archie should go: ďI know where I went wrongóI made the odds one million to one against Archie! ĖI should have made them a billion to one!Ē If youíre a Reggie fanboy or girl, then you probably want to buy this digest alone for Reggie because no stinkers and I havenít read any of these stories before.
Moose. Heck, the big guy gets his own fair chunk of stories and one pagers. The best is easily Who. I gotta be honest, this story probably should be in a lot of Archie fans top ten stories because it is EXTREMELY CLEVER. Written by Doyle and art by Harry Lucy. We all know how most Moose stories go: Someone hits on Midge (normally Reggie) Moose hits them. But for this story there is no word balloons, the story is told in captions, and we donít see who the victim is. His face is obscure by various objects, his face hidden in shadows, even the caption boxes. A great panel even has a hand pointing and covering up the guyís face. Itís extremely clever and extremely funny. Itís really hard to tell WHO who is until the end. Itís just amazingly clever and well done. I normally hate stories where everything is told in captions, but it was worked into very story itself in a nice touch.
Vast majority of characters get some story time: Youíve got Dilton, youíve got Chuck, heck Iíve never seen Coach Kleats get so many stories in a digest. So if you like a larger range of characters than the normal digest who never get much time, then this issue is for you.
Weird stories: You have Archie in an Iceburg buster meeting Bigfoot and a giant octopus, Archie with ESP and Miss Beazleyís leftover lunch turning into a monster and abducting Ethel. So yeah, if you like the weirder (bump bump Mysteries!) stories of Archie youíre in for a treat.
The Art and Writing: Wow. I have no complaints. Everything is top notch. I mean, the only art I think an Archie fan might not like is the one Tim Kennedy (They have it credited as Pat, but since Iím okay with the art, Iím really sure itís Tim) You have some great stories and art. I really like the cover by Fernando Ruiz. And wow. Nancy gets on the cover! Been awhile. The writing is great and you have a wide variety.
This is just a double digest? Seriously check out of the size of this sucker. Itís gotta be at least a Double 3/5ths Digest. So more bang for you buck.
Hardly any Jughead. Well, I guess thereís a cost for showcasing more characters. Our favorite glutton isnít in that many stories. But, to be honest, he does have his ownówell, this month he still has his OWN digest title so itís not too big of a deal in my opinion. But if buy for Jughead, heís lacking in this issue.
The longer stories. Just a minor grip. You have two full issue stories inside and I think they kind of dragged a bit. You have Archie in Madrid (apparently a multiple parter and this is part two) and the story kind of goes. Itís not bad, but not exciting. I think some stuff going on in the background would have helped for some of the pages. And you have Archie in How did you spend your vacation. Itís told in past tense in caption, I think it would have been better present tense and without the captions. Like I said, minor gripes.
No Fernando Ruiz inside art. Blasphemy! Favorite artist and I gotta make some stuff up to fill the Wrong section.
Yeah, this an easy A. You should buy this issue. There isnít really much else to say about it. The only question I have is the digest theme. Itís called Funhouse, but honestly this was more of Archie and Friends andówould the Around the World multi-story work best in World of Archie? But itís not like I expected much to change and the stories and art are great. So why complain?
Things Iíve learned.
1. What makes Moose different than most people who would kill you? Moose doesnít care if there are witnesses
2. You can be an idiot and still have E.S.P. You can also be a Dish subscriber and have ESPN, but no more WWE PPVs.
3. Riverdale High has an amazing budget as the students are going on a field trip around the world in ten days!
4. It just takes one night reading the manual to operate the Lodge Berg Buster and to master it.
5. Softball is surprisingly more physical then I first thought.
6. Archie is a Gemini and Reggie is a Scorpio. I always had Reggie pegged as a Cancer.
7. Sadly, only in comics do remote controls make the ZAP sound.
8. Teen View needs a better screening process
9. Mr. Lodge may not like Archieís guitar skills, but Big Foot is a fan.
10. Never give Archie any chance to win. He will win.
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