This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
Topics - PTF
« on: March 20, 2015, 08:59:51 PM »
Panel one: The setting is in the Chocklit Shop. Archie is at the counter of sadly drinking a giant milkshake with three straws. It’s a play on the classic image only Archie drinking from his straw sadly while the other three are unused. Pop Tate is talking with him as he is arranging Jughead’s IOUs in five separate folders. In the background, The Riverdale mascot is at a table with Ginger Lopez, Sherry, and Sheila Wu as Reggie walks by in utter disbelief at what he is seeing.
Pop Tate: What’s the matter, Archie?
Archie: Sigh. It’s Monday.
Pop Tate: I’m more a “Sundae” man myself.
Panel two: Archie talks with Pop Tate as Pop Tate is wiping off the counter with a white rag. Archie stirs his milkshake with his straw as the other two straws are pushed aside.
Archie: No, it’s just—every Monday afternoon, I can’t catch find either Betty or Veronica. It’s like they vanish into thin air.
Pop Tate: That is strange. You find them, or they find you.
Archie: I can’t help but think there’s this mystery boyfriend I don’t know about.
Panel three: Pop Tate is cleaning the counter as Archie smiles at Pop Tate’s suggestion.
Pop Tate: Ah, you know better than that. I’m sure they’re just getting together to gossip or compare iphone covers or whatever it is teenage girls do these days.
Archie: You’re right. I mean, they’re crazy about me, and I’m crazy about them! What could possibly come between us?
Panel four: Inside of one of the Lodge guest rooms, Betty and Veronica are watching World Championship Federation on a seventy inch TV as they are watching expies of John Cena (Jon Sena) and Daniel Bryan (Dan Brian) in the ring. Veronica is imitating Jon Sena’s “You can’t see me” hand gesture while Betty happily points up like Dan Brian. In between them is a small bag of popcorn.
TV: It’s time for World Championship Federation featuring your favorite wrest—er, I mean, sports entertainers!
Veronica: You can’t see me!
Betty: YES! YES! YES!
Panel one: Veronica and Betty are talking sophisticatedly as they talk with each other as if they were watching an opera or a great play.
Betty: Too bad we can’t invite any of our friends over to watch.
Veronica: Sigh. So true, Dear Betty, but they don’t wouldn’t appreciate the carefully woven storylines, understand the modern day interpretation of good vs. evil…
Panel two: Veronica happily points at the TV as she nearly falls off the couch as she leans forward as Betty looks on eagerly at the TV as well.
Veronica: Oh! Jon Sena’s taking off his shirt!
Panel three: Veronica has a thought balloon of Archie’s head on John Cena’s body as he is holding and carrying several shopping bags on each arm.
Veronica: Sigh, could you imagine Archie with all those muscles…?
Veronica: He’d be able to carry all my new clothes, shoes, and accessories in one trip instead of the usual ten!
Panel four: Betty has a thought balloon of Archie with a Daniel Bryan beard as she has hearts over her eyes as she thinks about it. Veronica is a bit more apprehensive as she obviously has issues with the beard.
Betty: Sigh, but think if Archie had that beard! Wowsa!
Veronica: Well…I suppose a bit of grooming and it would be—acceptable.
Panel one: Betty and Veronica calm down as a commercial begins playing. Veronica has a light bulb over her head as she looks over at Betty and has a sly grin on her face as she has a devious plan. Betty is flicking popcorn in her mouth as she is too focused on the TV to notice Veronica’s facial expression.
Betty: Aw, a commercial! Just when Bart Heart was about to lock in the sharpshooter!
Panel two: Veronica talks with Betty as Betty shrugs her shoulders as she doesn’t know the answer.
Veronica: Betty. Do you think the sharpshooter actually hurts?
Betty: Huh. I don’t know. All the wrestlers are such great actors, I can’t ever tell what hurts and what doesn’t.
Panel three: Veronica stands up and motions at the ground for Betty to lie down so she can apply the sharpshooter to her
Veronica: Well, what’s say we find out while the commercials are on?
Betty: What? You put it on me? You’re the one who wants to know if it hurts!
Panel four: Veronica is turning Betty over on her stomach as she nearly has Betty in the sharpshooter.
Veronica: I know…but I trust you because you’re my best friend.
Betty: And I’m agreeing to this because you’re my best friend.
Veronica: Yes, friendship is a wonderful thing.
Panel five: Veronica has the sharpshooter on Betty as Betty winces.
Betty: Owie Yowie!
Betty: Yeah! It feels like my vertebra is imitating an accordion!
Panel one: Betty is trying to turn her head over at Veronica as Veronica still has it locked in without a hint of easing off.
Betty: Um, Ronnie? You can let go now.
Panel two: Same shot only with Betty turn her head the other direction as Veronica smiles a bit more.
Betty: Veronica, did you hear me--?
Panel three: Veronica smiles as she has no intention of letting it go as Betty’s face turns red in anger.
Veronica: First say Archie’s mine, and I’ll let you go.
Panel four: Veronica begins to tighten on the sharpshooter as Betty thrashes her arms and begins pounding the floor as tries to find a way to escape from the hold.
Betty: Of all the sneaky—no good---!
Veronica: Oh, don’t shout and thrash about so. People would think you’re crazy.
Betty: CRAZY?! Lemme go, and I’ll show ya crazy!!
Panel five: Betty begins reaching behind her to grab Veronica’s foot as Veronica moved it closer to Betty’s side as she increases the pressure.
Veronica: Come now, Betty, you know Archiekins and I are destined for one another. Why not say what you know in your heart is true?
Betty: I say--
Betty: I say—
Panel six: Betty grabs onto Veronica’s foot and is able to pull her off enough to break the sharpshooter as Veronica falls on her on her face as she loses her balance.
Betty: --I SAY NO GRAVE IS TOO DEEP FOR BETRAYERS OF FRIENDSHIP!!
« on: March 09, 2015, 06:26:14 PM »
Panel one: Archie, Jughead, and Pop Tate are standing just outside of Segarini’s pizzeria as the entire building is covered in a giant white cloth to hide the new restructure. On the other side of the street is The Chocklit Shoppe with a “Be back after snooping” sign on the door. Archie and Pop look on curiously; Jughead is unmoved. A sign on the cloth reads: Remodeling. Opening Soon. And don’t you dare peek Pop Tate!!! On the street, cars are driving by with people looking out the window and several more people walking along the sidewalk look at Segarini’s as they are curious as to what renovations have been made on such a grand scale.
Archie: Wow! I heard Segarini was remodeling his hub, but he sure knows how to draw in interest with the intrigue!
Pop Tate: Hmph. It’s no mystery that he’s a sneaky weasel up to no good!
Panel two: Segarini is walking into the panel as Pop Tate glares at Segarini; Archie and Jughead are talking to one another not paying attention. Jughead is patting his stomach as Archie rolls his eyes. Overhead a helicopter with a giant hook is flying over the covered Segarini’s and lowering the rope to lift the giant cover off the building within a matter of seconds.
Segarini: Couldn’t resist after all these weeks of careful secrecy, eh, Tate! The curiosity of how I’m going to outdo you must be killing you inside!
Pop Tate: Segarini!
Jughead: The more time outside, the less time I’m inside eating.
Panel Three: A high angle view of the hook attaching to the cloth and beginning to lift it up.
Segarini: Since I’m such a nice guy, I’ll alleviate your pain—
Segarini: --Before I break your spirit!
Panel one: Segarini’s has been remodeled into a children’s fast food restaurant. The entire building is colored in bright red and yellow. On top of the new Segarini’s is a sign reading SEGARINI’S with a orange cartoon raccoon motion towards the lettering. The double glass door and windows all have cartoon drawings as followed: On the right window is a green cartoon tiger wearing a leather jacket and a tutu wearing purple hypo playing patty-cake and on the glass door is a Red Rooster with boxing gloves and shorts, motioning for people to enter. On the left window is a yellow dragon wearing a black cape using his fire breath to prepare a pizza for children.
Segarini’s: Welcome to the new Segarini’s!
Segarini’s: Kid friendly! Great food! And the first of an edible inevitable food franchise!
Panel two: Pop Tate is pointing a finger at Segarini while motioning with this other hand towards Jughead who stares blankly at the new Segarini’s.
Pop Tate: You’ve always been crazy like a fox! But this is lunacy!
Pop Tate: Tell him Jughead!
Panel three: Pop Tate grumbles to himself as Jughead’s response does not help him at all as Segarini happily answers as he mocks Pop Tate.
Jughead: Will there be Gladdy Meals?
Segarini: Of course! We’re all kids at heart…while some stay fat, big babies!
Panel one: Archie is talking with Segarini in the foreground while Pop Tate glares at Jughead who weakly smiles and shrugs his shoulders in the background.
Archie: Um, Segarini, why the sudden shift in demographics?
Segarini: I’ll tell you, my inquisitive freckled friend!
Panel two: Segarini motions over at a bunch of kids with their parents who are pointing at Segarini’s new restaurant and wanting to go inside.
Segarini: Riverdale is getting younger! Families are getting bigger! For every teenager there is younger brother or sister or both!
Panel three: Segarini pops his collar in pride as he closes his eyes and smirks at the success he envisions. Pop Tate pushes past Archie as he goes to confront Segarini.
Segarini: Once this becomes a success, I plan on expansion! A Segarini’s in every town!
Pop Tate: Hah! If it still has your typical bland food, you’ll be lucky you’re not kicked off the block!
Panel four: Segarini points a finger at Pop Tate’s chest as Pop Tate is startled by what he hears.
Segarini: It has my typical exceptional food-- plus extra thanks to resident genius Dilton Doiley!
Pop Tate: Dilton…?
Panel five: Dilton is walking up behind Segarini as Segarini is happy to see him. Pop Tate, Archie, and Jughead look on in bafflement. Dilton is holding a remote in his hand as he uses the other to adjust his glasses.
Dilton: I do believe I heard my name addressed?
Segarini: Dilton, why don’t you give my unworthy competition a glimpse of what he’s up against?
Panel one: Dilton points the remote at Segarini’s as four silhouette figures (modeled after the cartoon images on Segarini’s sans the dragon) begin to open the double doors and come out. The raccoon is up front followed by the hypo, rooster, and tiger. Segarini motions towards the approaching animatronics. Pop Tate looks on in bewilderment along with Archie. Jughead intriguingly strokes his chin with his index finger as he is looking on.
Pop Tate: What have you done, Segarini?!
Segarini: Done? I’ve taken it to the next level! Because what does every family fast food extravaganza need!?
Panel two: Segarini stands up front and motions with both arms as he presents his animal animatronics. The orange raccoon (Rocky), the green tiger (Fluffball), the red rooster (Beaks) and the purple hypo (Hiya). All the animatronics have smiles and bulging eyes. Rocky is swearing a red shirt with the letter S, Fluffball is wearing a leather jacket, Beaks is wearing blue and gold boxing shorts and red boxing gloves and Hiya is wearing a pink tutu. All of the animatronics are waving their hands and bobbing their heads like they are laughing.
Segarini: Entertainment! Mascots to sing and dance while the boys and girls eat their delicious food!
Segarini: Let me introduce—
Panel three: A close up on Pop Tate, Archie, and Jughead. Pop Tate is stunned, Archie is amazed, and Jughead is mildly indifferent save for one problem he has with what he is seeing.
Pop Tate: You’ve turned your establishment into a second rate cartoon amusement park!
Archie: Wow. I’ve never seen anything like it!
Jughead: I’m okay with everything but the female hypo.
Panel one: Segarini is yelling at Dilton, holding up five fingers at his face while using his other hand to point on the spot where the other animatronic should be. Dilton tilts his head back and stutters as he tries to explain. Behind them, the helicopter, thinking Segarini is signaling it, has dropped the giant cloth over The Chocklit Shoppe as Pop Tate’s eyes bulge out of his head ala an old fashion cartoon. Jughead is tilting his body to his left as Rocky Raccoon mirrors his movements to his amusement.
Segarini: Four? I paid you for five!
Dilton: I-I’m sorry, but the last animatronic still has…issues.
Segarini: I don’t care! I want it here! NOW!
Panel two: Segarini is laughing at Pop Tate’s plight (The Chocklit Shoppe being entirely covered by the giant cloth) as Dilton and Archie try to hold a charging with both fists winding up Pop Tate from thrashing Segarini.
Segarini: Hah! Look at that! I helped the community with its greatest eyesore!
Panel three: Segarini has his arms folded across his chest as he begins to think to himself as he shifts his eyes towards Jughead who is jumping on one foot with his hands at his head as the animatronics all do the same.
Segarini thinking: Haven’t seen Tate this riled since I placed that mouse in his ground beef stock! He’d just love to pay me back!
Segarini thinking: But I’ll be out of town tonight to meet with investors! And even if the time locks are working, I can’t take chances!
Panel four: Segarini is approaching Jughead and putting his arm around his shoulders as he gets Jughead’s attention. The animatronics pair up and mimic Jughead and Segarini’s body language.
Rocky Raccoon: Hi! Let’s Play!
Segarini: Jughead, how would you like to do a little favor for your pal Segarini…?
Jughead: Dishonest people wanting a boon bodes not well for the naïve and kind of heart.
« on: February 28, 2015, 05:42:45 PM »
Panel one: The setting is the Jones living room as Mr. Jones is pointing out to the driveway as it is covered in nearly a foot of snow as it continues to snow outside. Jughead looks blankly out the window as he tells his father what he sees.
Mr. Jones: Jughead, my son, how does the driveway look to you?
Jughead: Hard to say. It’s covered in nearly a foot of snow.
Mr. Jones: So it is.
Panel two: Mr. Jones is holding a snow shovel as Jughead cups his right hand just under his chin as he begins to think about his father’s next question.
Mr. Jones: And this is a snow shovel.
Jughead: A very nice one at that.
Mr. Jones: And when you put a snow covered driveway and a snow shovel together, what do you get?
Panel three: Jughead smiles and points to the window.
Jughead: I got it! Since you drew attention to the driveway and you have the snow shovel…
Jughead: …That means you’ll be the one who clears off the driveway with it!
Panel four: Jughead is outside at the steps of his front door as the door slams behind him. He is wearing his coat, snow hat with his hat on top of it, a scarf and he has the snow shovel in his right hand as he looks out at the driveway.
Jughead: I deduce that I am no Sherlock Holmes.
Panel one: Jughead begins to shovel up his driveway as he angrily grumbles to himself. He is throwing a pile of snow behind his back as he works, not noticing that a white rabbit was hidden in the snow and is happily taking a ride with the rest of the shoveled snow.
Jughead: Don’t see why I have to do this—the sun will melt it eventually!
Panel two: Jughead turns to look at the rest of the driveway to see how much he has to do.
Jughead: And why is it called a driveway when you park your car on it? Pure madness I tell’s ya!
Panel three: Jughead glares ahead at what he sees.
Jughead: And, a more important question....
Panel four: Jughead points at Trula Twyst who is on the sidewalk just ahead of the Jones driveway as she is wearing a yellow coat, green beret hat, and is silently watching Jughead with an emotionless face. Behind Trula several kids are pushing a snowman on a sled along that has a sign reading: SNOWMAN FOR RENT (Get it while it’s COLD).
Jughead: What is Trula Twyst, my archenemy, doing so close to the parameter of my stronghold!?
Panel one: Jughead shakes a fist at her as she remains perfectly still. Behind her a pair of kids have two snowman on toboggans that are charging at each other, each snowman is armed with a giant icicle for a spear. Each kid cheers his snowman on. The kids on the right is wearing blue, the kid on the left is wearing red.
Jughead: Get out of here! Vamoose! Begone from my safe haven yon Witch of Twyst!
Panel two: Trula doesn’t respond as Jughead becomes more frustrated. Behind Trula the blue kid’s snowman has lost as it has been beheaded. The kid in red comforts the kid in blue as the kid in blue kneels down and holds up the snowman’s head like a scene for Hamlet. The winning snowman has a frown on his expression, saddened by what has happened to his snowman compatriot. The rest of the losing snowman is still on its toboggan with its wooden arms feeling where its head used to be.
Panel three: Jughead waves the shovel in her direction as if to shoo her away to no effect.
Jughead: Go away! Shoo Shoo! Go Away!
Panel four: Jughead puts the shovel down as he sees it is having no effect on Trula.
Panel five: Jughead goes back to work on his second giant scoop of shoveling as Trula continues to watch silently. Jughead is shoveling one handed as he puts another hand over his mouth as he nearly becomes sick. Again another white bunny, this one female and wearing a pink ribbon is happily riding the snow pile as the other bunny looks on with hearts over its head.
Jughead: Fine. Stand there like a statue. I don’t care. I’ve got work to do.
Jughead: --Ugh. Threw up in my mouth…
Panel one: Jughead is halfway though with his driveway as Trula is still standing like she was as she silently watches Jughead.
Jughead thinking: Sheesh! This is like having the angel of death watching over you!
Panel two: Jughead is scooping up more snow as he turns to look at Trula who remains perfectly still and is watching him. The two white bunnies are making a snowrabbit, but the boy bunny eats the carrot as the female bunny shrugs her shoulders in “oh well.”
Jughead thinking: This is weird. This isn’t like that curly haired fiend at all. She hasn’t said a word. Hasn’t moved an inch. Just watching me with those dead souless eyes…
Panel three: Jughead is eyeing Trula suspiciously.
Jughead thinking: She’s up to something…
Panel four: Jughead is shoveling more snow as he is 3/4ths of the way done as several white rabbits begin having a snow fight right behind Jughead as the boy bunny shield the female bunny who looks at him gallantly. The other bunnies come up from the snow in the yard out of no where.
Jughead: Must be some sort of silent treatment. Probably meant to get me to react, bring out my anxieties, spill my beans…
Panel five: Jughead points a Trula as Trula looks on still blankly.
Jughead: Well it ain’t gonna work!
Panel six: Jughead puts both hands over his mouth to shut himself up as Trula finally begins to chuckle.
Jughead thinking: …Anymore.
TO BE CONTINUED
« on: February 19, 2015, 11:29:46 AM »
Panel one: A close up on Reggie as he is standing on a snow covered hill as he gazes out at the landscape of a suburban area of Riverdale with the roof tops covered in snow as the sun breaks through the gray clouds overhead and a beam of light focuses on him like a stage light. Reggie has his arms stretched out as he soaks in the beauty of it all. He is wearing a snow cap, gloves and a coat with his face on the back with #1 written just under his face. Behind him three squirrels (one fat, another tall, and another skinny) are riding white rabbits as they are using icicles to playfully joust with.
Reggie: Look at it. A snow covered landscape.
Reggie: A blanket of pure white over all of Riverdale. So serene. To think of all the individual snow flakes to make up this wonder…
Panel two: A close-up on Reggie’s face as he has a warm smile on his face and his eyes flutter as he is seemingly filled with warm happy thoughts.
Reggie: I can only think of one solitary thing that could surpass such a sight…
Panel three: Reggie is bent over and is beginning to make a snowball as we can see Jughead walking down just below the hill. Jughead is wearing a large green and red plaid coat, large ear muffs, his hat, and a scarf wrapped around his neck. Behind Reggie, the fat squirrel has won as the other squirrels are stuck in the snow head first as their rabbits try to dig them out. The fat squirrel pets his rabbit on the nose as a way of saying, job well done.
Reggie: --Popping cue snoot with an 80 MPH snowball!
Panel one: In the foreground Jughead is looking ahead as he has both of his gloved hands in his coat pocket and doesn’t seem to have a care in the world. In the background, Reggie is throwing a snowball at Jughead as the snowball has small flames around it to show how hard and fast it is coming in on Jughead.
Reggie: Icy death from above, sucker!!
Panel two: Jughead suddenly twists his hips to facing the snowball as the snowball is streaking towards him. His facial expression remains vacant.
Panel three: Jughead pulls out an empty snow cone from his left pocket to catch the snowball in.
Panel four: Jughead takes his right hand out of his pocket as it has a small vial of cherry flavoring as he begins to pour it on the snowball.
Panel five: Jughead begins to take a lick of his newly made cherry flavor snow cone as he nods in approval.
Panel six: Jughead uses one hand to wave at Reggie as he continues to lick his snow cone and walk away as if what happened was a mundane, everyday experience. In the background Reggie is red face and stomping his feet and kicking up snow.
Jughead: Thanks, Reg.
Reggie: You’ll be eating more snow than just that before I’m through with you, Jones!!
Jughead: Sounds yummy.
Panel one: Reggie is peaking behind a shrub as “Jughead” is standing in the center of a line of snowmen with his back turned to Reggie. Next to Reggie is a snowball with Jughead’s name etched into it. Each snowman is dressed different: One is a musketeer, another is a fireman, another Cosmo the merry Martian, another is a clown, and the last is an astronaut. “Jughead”’s body motion is looking like he is examing the snowmen. Each snowmen has his arm behind its back where you can’t see what might be there.
Reggie whispering: Look at that. Making idiotic snowmen. Almost makes me feel like I’m wasting my time pelting that dummy’s noggin.
Panel two: Reggie jumps out from his spot and hits “Jughead” across the back of his head.
Panel three: Reggie pulls at his hair in alarm as “Jughead’s head falls off while the rest of his body remains perfectly still.
Panel four: Reggie is rushing over to “Jughead’s” severed head as he has a thought balloon of himself in a winter wonderland prison guarded by snow elves.
Reggie: Jughead! Say something! Eat a snack! Make a quip!
Panel five: Reggie bends down to pick up “Jughead’s severed head as he is nervous about it.
Reggie: Okay, okay, Reg. You heard an abdominal snowman and you found Jughead like this. Everyone will believe you. You’re awesome!
Panel six: Reggie turns “Jughead’s head around to see that it was just a snow head that was carefully made up to look like Jughead’s head. Jughead’s scarf and hat fall off to show this. The snow head is making a face at Reggie as Reggie reacts in shock.
Reggie: What sick snow miser could have conjured this up--?!!
Panel one: Reggie crushes the fake head in both hands as he grinds his teeth and flames are in his eye.
Reggie: When I’m done with that smart aleck, they’ll have to move to the Caribbean to defrost him!
Panel two: Reggie looks up as he hears a voice calling him to attention. Reggie looks ahead with wide eyes.
Jughead off panel: psst.
Panel three: A side view of the line of snowmen as we can see that each has a large snowball behind their back with each having a string that leads to Jughead’s hand as prepares to release the string and have the snowballs waylay Reggie. Reggie looks ahead with his face scrunched and his fists clasped as he realizes just how bad he got played and how much this is going to hurt.
Reggie: Oh, you miserable, lousy, no good---
Jughead: Butterfingers. It’s not just my favorite candy bar.
Panel four: Reggie is taking a giant snowball to the back of his head as it nearly knocks him down with the other four closing in on him as Reggie bends down and tries to shield himself with his arms over the back of his head.
Reggie: So he wants to play rough? Wants to play dirty—arrrkk!
Reggie: Fine by me!!
Panel one: Reggie is on the roof of the Jones home as he is dumping cold water on the snow covered roof so that it will fall to the front of the house. We can see the ladder to the side of house. Through a window we can see inside of the house as a couch is in view.
Reggie: When that glutton saunters outside for his usual afternoon trip to Pop’s—he’ll open the door, close it and—THOOM!
Panel two: Reggie notices that the ladder is being moved as he eyes stretch out in alarm.
Jughead below off-panel: Now who put this here?
Panel three: A low angle view as Jughead is laying the ladder on the ground as Reggie protests as he drops the bucket to his right side. Reggie shakes a fist at Jughead while Jughead puts a hand over his mouth to stop a burp.
Reggie: What are you doing out here, when you should be inside there?
Jughead: Building those snowmen worked my appetite early, so I rescheduled my nap and Pop Tate burgers.
Panel four: Reggie is motioning for Jughead to stop as Jughead opens the front door to his house and prepares to go inside. Reggie’s footing is beginning to slip as the snow on the roof begins to slide down as bits of snow land just behind Jughead as he doesn’t react to it.
Reggie: Well—put that ladder back where it—hey, hey! Don’t do that! Don’t go in!
Jughead: Sorry. I’ve already bent my strict schedule as far as it will go, Reggie.
Panel five: Reggie and all the snow on the roof begin to tumble down. Reggie is flapping his arms with both hands hoping to fly. Just above him is the bucket as it is about to land right on him.
Panel six: Reggie is on the steps of the Jones porch as he is covered in snow and the bucket is stuck to his head as he is so angry he is actually hitting and denting the bucket as he can’t control his rage. Inside, thanks to the window, we can see Jughead happily napping on the couch with a Derby Dalton comic over his face.
Reggie: Picture of a storm cloud, a skull, and a dagger.
Panel one: Jughead is back outside as he is now being pulled on a sled by Hot Dog as he stands up on the sled and is holding out a T-bone tied to a long stick to help motivate Hot Dog to continue onward. Several kids stop building their snow forts to give Jughead a wave as he responds with his free hand. Hot Dog is sniping at the t-bone as it is just out of reach.
Jughead: This is a much better way to trek in the snow.
Hot Dog: Curse my animal instincts and bottomless stomach!
Panel two: Jughead turns his head as he hears Reggie scream off-panel at him
Reggie off-panel: I’ll get you, ugly! And your fat, overweight mutt, too!
Panel three: Reggie is on a black snowmobile as he is racing over a hill and knocking down several snowmen and snow forts as the kids scatter as Reggie comes out like a lunatic. His snow mobile has a picture of a snowman’s head and cross bones. Strapped to the sides of the snowmobile are several large canisters filled with snowballs. Reggie is leaning into the wheel as he eyes flash wildly, like Cruela de Ville. One little kid looks on in amazement as he can’t believe what he is seeing. Several others run away shaking their fists in vengeance at Reggie.
Reggie: Da-da-da-da-DAH-DAH! Da-da-da-da-DAH-DAH!
Panel four: Jughead turns forward as he begins to raise the stick with the t-bone over his head as Reggie in his snowmobile of doom is just seconds from him as Reggie is already throwing snowballs that are coming at Jughead like blue, icy flames.
Jughead: Well, he’s lost what little he had left…
Jughead: Time for evasive maneuvers, Hot Dog.
« on: February 13, 2015, 03:26:40 PM »
PTF Reviews Jughead and Archie #10.
I just don’t get some people. I get my little cousin Spirited Away, a great animated move from Studio Ghibli, and just because I got it at a pawn shop; I didn’t care. Besides, what was I supposed to do, use the money I got this digest with for a slightly better gift? That’s just crazy talk.
Fernando Ruiz art: Heck yeah! Two new stories buy the most beloved artist around these parts. The Feast and the Furious is about Mr. Weatherbee cultivating the tongue of Jughead to fine dining. Snack Attack has a winter field trip to a petting zoo where Jughead and Archie go about the usual business. Both stories a well done and, as always, well drawn. I prefer Snack Attack myself, but Alex Simmons penned script is still a great idea. And we even have a few older stories from Ruiz reprinted. So if you’re a Ruiz fan like me, this issue is great.
DeCarlo Jr. Poor guy never got the respect he deserved. I always felt he was great, but when your father pretty much helped make Archie Comics—yeah, you’re always going to be the guy who never lived up to his father’s potential. I just love the body language he gives all the characters. Probably one of the best of the Archie comics. It’s nice to see him get a big slew of stories.
The Vault: It’s always fun to read the older comics. Plus Jughead isn’t in full on woman hater mode so you don’t have to feel guilty about laughing at the stories. You have Jughead somehow making everyone dumber, a ro(not)bot gag that Reggie takes too far, and Mr. Flutesnott and Coach Kleats trying to trade Jughead off on the other. Plus a fun Archie story involving puppy sitting. All classic stories and all classic art.
Boldman and Lindsey. The greatest pairing since peanut butter and jelly! If you’re a fan like me, you’re going to love this as it is packed with their stories. Jackie Frost, the female embodiment of winter, has come back to visit her old friend Jughead; Jughead has to decide if a candy bar that’s a work of art should be eaten or looked at forever; Archie and Jughead’s consciences decide to swap teens; and that’s just a few of them! This harkens back to the old Jughead double double digest where you pick it up and knew you’re getting great stories because it will have several stories by these two.
Y’know what, just everything. Yeah, that’s how good this digest is. I don’t have a problem with any single story, piece of art, the one page gags are extremely funny. Heck, the cover is great too. One of my complaints that I normally have is Archie stories without Jughead or vice versa, but there are only maybe three of those. So even stories live up the title’s name.
Okay, this one is going to be a little tough…
No That Wilkin Boy. One of my favorite titles isn’t reprinted. So no sage wisdom of Uncle Herman and Sampson. I’m probably going to miss that in later issues after this awesome one.
No Toni Topaz. I kind of expected her to be in a new story and had some jokes wrote out…but I’m gonna have to save them…so you know that was like two minutes of my life I lost…curse you digest…?
It should be called Jughead and Archie Jumbo Jumbo digest. I just like how it rolls off the tongue…
Fine. There’s no real bad. This is a great issue. Probably the best Jumbo digest I’ve read.
Things that I’ve learned.
.1. Hot Dog is a great artist
2 If you want to make food fancy, make it smaller.
3. Floor panels come in toffee color.
4. Never lose your signed coupon book.
5. Music and gym teachers have been at war since school was just the Three R’s.
6. Petting zoos are dangerous
7. Archie cannot distinguish an empty box from a box that actually has something in it.
8. Even if your claptrap snowmobile falls apart after you win a race—the dastardly snow mobile conglomerate will give you four brand new snowmobiles just to keep the secret!
9. Never let Archie help you. With anything. EVER
10. Ol' Charlie...how far you have fallen!
Anyway, this is one of the best jumbo digests I’ve read. Everything is great. Two great new stories from Fernando Ruiz, plenty of classic Jughead artists, great stories. Just buy the issue. It's excellent.
« on: February 05, 2015, 01:15:27 AM »
Panel one: Archie is striding towards the Chocklit Shoppe as he is all smiles. Archie has both of his hands in his Riverdale jacket pocket as he is clutching something inside. Walking along the sidewalk is a man walking a pack of cats as perplexed seeing eye dog looks on and is about to accidentally lead his blind owner into a nearby tree. On the Chocklit Shop window is a flyer for the Josie and the Pussycats that catches Archie’s eye.
Archie: I can’t believe my luck! One little call for one big reward!
Panel two: Archie is walking in when he is disturbed by what he hears and sees.
Archie: I can’t wait to tell—
Veronica off-panel: You would think someone so lazy would be tired of getting in my way!!
Jughead off-panel: Hey, I was here first, so until your daddy buys the state, you can back off, princess!!
Panel three: Archie shakes his head in the background as he walks in as Jughead and Veronica are in the middle of the Shoppe yelling at each other as the Riverdale teens look on from their respective tables. Trula and Ethel are sitting at the counter as Ethel swoons over Jughead while Trula writes down notes in a note pad. Nancy and Chuck are sitting at a table to the left and rolling their eyes. Shrill and Sherry are at a table to the right as Shrill is more annoyed by the two while Sherry listens on while using French fries as makeshift people doing a cheer on their table.
Panel one: Archie steps in between them as he tries to resolve the dispute. Veronica points at Jughead as Jughead just turns his body away and waves her off.
Archie: Um, could you two please stop! I have something to tell you that—
Veronica: Jughead! If it wasn’t beneath me and my delicate hands had the strength, I could just throttle you.
Panel two: Jughead turns his head back and sticks his nose up in the air to imitate Veronica and responds.
Jughead: Delicate? Those manhands?
Panel three: Veronica runs over and begins to strangle Jughead as Jughead’s eyes bulge open as he’s taken by surprise.
Veronica: Why you little smart mouth--!!
Jughead: Ack ack! Proving ---glrrkk—my point…!!
Panel four: Veronica is continuing to strangle Jughead as Jughead’s face is turning blue as he has fallen to his knees. Jughead, in response, has his hands pushing against Veronica’s face as he tries to get her away from him. Archie is vainly trying to pull the two apart. Walking past are Moose and Reggie shake their heads in shame at the display of violence they are witnessing.
Veronica: Get your hands off my face!!
Jughead: ggllaa rrrkkk
Caption: Translation: What do you expect to do!? Whistle!?
Archie: Would you two stop it already!!
Panel one: Jughead is back to his feet as he is continuing to push against Veronica’s face while Veronica continues to throttle Jughead. Just behind them is Archie as he is pleading for them to stop!
Archie: C’mon! We’re all friends! Both of you let go at the same time!
Panel two: Veronica and Jughead both pull their arms back and take a step back as they both accidentally double slap Archie who goes wide-eyed, cross-eyed as stars and planets are over his head to symbolize how much that hurt.
Veronica and Jughead: FINE!
Panel three: Archie is holding both face cheeks as Veronica and Jughead go over to check on him as they have momentary forgotten their argument. Veronica is pushing her hair back in place while Jughead is using one hand to rub his aching neck.
Veronica: Oh, Archiekins, I didn’t mean for that to happen!
Jughead: Arch, pal, I’m so sorry!
Panel four: Veronica and Jughead are at a loss for words as an angry Archie glares up at the two of them.
Veronica and Jughead: …
Panel five: Jughead and Veronica point fingers at each other as they blame the other as Archie frowns as he pulls at his hair as he is to the breaking point.
Jughead and Veronica: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Panel one: Archie pushes past Veronica and Jughead as he begins to storm out of the Chocklit Shoppe. Jughead and Veronica turn to each other as they key in on the prize Archie won.
Archie: Sheesh! All I wanted to do was tell you two about the all expense paid, you and a guest, all you can eat five day trip on DeCarlo Cruise ship I won!
Panel two: Veronica and Jughead suddenly run up and point at themselves as they are all smiles.
Veronica and Jughead: And you are plan on taking me, right?
Panel three: Jughead and Veronica turn and begin to argue. Veronica uses her thumb to point behind her to illustrate her point; Jughead points at both of his eyes with his two fingers to illustrate his.
Veronica: Why would he take you? One smorgasbord and Archie’s a distant memory!
Jughead: Well, it’s a forgone conclusion that when you see any other guy, Archie will be yesterday’s news!
Panel four: Veronica begins to flirt with Archie as Jughead looks on crossly. Veronica puts her head at Archie’s chest and playfully pokes his nose as she smiles at him. Archie is beginning to go into a love daze as a result. Jughead is adjusting the hat on his head like he is preparing to take care of business.
Veronica: Archie, you wouldn’t want to leave your widdle Ronnie behind, would you?
Panel five: Jughead puts Veronica in a full nelson lock as he pulls her away from Archie and breaking Archie out of his trance.
Jughead: Sinister Siren! Be hex my friend no more this day!
Veronica: How dare you touch me, you churl!
Panel six: Archie stomps his foot as Veronica and Jughead look on in awe as they have never seen Archie so angry. Jughead begins to let go of Veronica as Veronica lowers her arms.
Archie: THAT TEARS IT!
Panel one: Archie points at both them; his right hand at Veronica and his left at Jughead.
Archie: I am tried of you two always fighting!
Archie: You want to know who I’m taking on the cruise! I’ll tell you…
Panel two: Jughead and Veronica turn to the other in bewilderment and terror as Archie tells them the conditions of the contest to see who goes with him. Archie claps his two hands together to symbolize the two having to get along with each other.
Archie: …Whoever is nicer to the other!!
Panel three: Archie continues to talk as Veronica looks like she wants to throw up and Jughead looks like he’d rather get bitten by a rattlesnake.
Archie: The cruise is in a week, so for six days you two have to be nice to the other. Whoever does the best job takes the trip with me.
Panel four: Veronica and Jughead turn and hug each other as Archie looks on happily. Veronica lays her head on Jughead’s shoulder and Jughead lays his head on Veronica’s.
Veronica: Why that will be easy considering how wonderful Jughead is!
Jughead: And Veronica is so delightful to be around, this will be a breeze!
Panel five: Veronica’s face turns harsh as she whispers into Jughead’s ear.
Veronica whispering: The only trip you’re going on is to Loserville. Population: you.
Panel six: Jughead whispers into Veronica’s ear as he retorts and responds in kind.
Jughead: Your dad will invest in real estate there after I’m done with you.
TO BE CONTINUED.
« on: January 27, 2015, 08:47:45 PM »
Panel one: The setting is the Lodge dining room as various servants and staffs are lining up tables and setting them up for a banquet. The tables have fine white linings over them and the chairs are handmade craft of the finest. Smithers is telling the staff what to do as he is calm in the storm of chaos that is going on around him. One maid is dusting off a male servant’s face as another looks on with a chuckle. Two maids are arguing over various spoon placements in front of a seat. Chef Gaston is chasing after a live turkey with a meat cleaver as the turkey turns its head to make faces at Gaston. Over the room is a banner reading: WELCOME MAHARAJA, YOU’RE A GREAT FELLA!! The banner is being hung up by a servant on an unsteady ladder. Mr. Lodge has his back turned to this as he points out of the dinning room as he makes a request of Veronica and Archie.
Mr. Lodge: Archie, Veronica, would you two go to storage vault 3 and bring the Jihong Porcelain? It was a gift from the Maharaja of Selalotta. It’d be perfect for the banquet.
Veronica: Not a problem, daddykins.
Panel two: Archie is talking to Veronica as they are about to walk out of the dining hall as Mr. Lodge is in the background with his attention seemingly back to preparing the dining hall for the banquet. The turkey now has the cleaver and is chasing after Gaston as everyone looks on in surprise.
Archie: Ronnie, it looks like your dad is finally beginning to have some faith in me.
Panel three: Archie’s pride is quickly deflated as Mr. Lodge comments to the amusement of Veronica as playfully pinches Archie’s face cheek.
Mr. Lodge: No. I just feel that if you’re going to be here, you might as well try and make yourself useful.
Panel one: Veronica and Archie are walking down a spiral of stairs as they head to the basement of the Lodge Manner. There are several lights along the wall to lead the way as they descend downward. The staircase seems to go down miles. On the wall is a map showing the world and an arrow pointing near the earth’s core reading: YOU ARE HERE.
Archie: Storage vaults? I’ve never been to the storage area.
Veronica: It’s were daddy keeps his most valuable, memorable possessions he’s collected over the years.
Panel two: Archie jokes as Veronica rolls her eyes.
Archie: Us common folk call that “a basement”.
Veronica: Funny. I thought that was where your hot water heater, dryer, and washer were.
Panel three: Veronica has reached the last step as Archie follows two steps behind
Archie: Say, when your dad said “vault three” does that mean literally…?
Panel four: Archie is in awe as he is looking ahead a three marked old fashion vault doors labeled with 1 2 3 with the only way to open it is to turn a giant metal knob. Veronica looks at Archie and doesn’t understand why he is so impressed.
Archie: Yowza! You’d think that your family was storing gold bars for the government!
Veronica: No, those gold bars belong to our family, and that’s vault one. What we need is vault three.
Panel one: Veronica begins to flirt with Archie as she rubs her hand through his hair and presses her lips against his right ear as he has a big dopey smile across his face as he falls for Veronica’s charms.
Veronica: Oh, Archie, you’re so big and strong, and I know you wouldn’t want me to ruin my manicure…
Veronica: Could you please open the vault door, you strong man you?
Panel two: Archie is struggling as he is turning the old vault knob as he is straining with all his might. Veronica is just behind him and looks on with a smile.
Archie: Not a---URRRRK---problem, my love--!!
Panel three: Archie has the doors open slightly as Veronica casually walks in and motions for Archie to follow. Archie is bent over taking deep breaths as he is totally exhausted as his arms just dangle like limp like noodles.
Veronica: Thanks you, Archie. Now don’t dawdle. I’m going to need you to move boxes around if we’re going to find the porcelain.
Archie: Not (huff huff) a (hhmm) problem…!
Panel four: A shot of inside of the vault as we see how massive it is with shelves upon shelves of various history items. On the wall to the right is a paint of Mona Lisa crying. A sarcophagus is set horizontally in the middle of the room with a sign reading: RESTING PLACE, BUT NOT A SEAT! Various decorative boxes are on the high shelves; in the back are cardboard boxes that read LESS THAN A MILLION. A statue of the Venus de Milo with arms and giving two thumbs up is in front of the left side shelf. The left side has various literature, old stamp collections, and vases. The right side has jewels, crowns, tiaras, The Hopeful Diamond, and various other expensive items. Archie is looking in with disbelief at what he is seeing. Veronica looks around as if this is every day for her as she tries to remember where the porcelain is as she has her index finger scratching the bottom of her chin.
Archie: This isn’t a storage room! It’s a mini-museum!
Veronica: Now where would that porcelain be placed…?
Panel one: Archie is closing the vault door behind him as the other side of the vault door is similar to the front as Veronica looks over at the cardboard boxes. Archie responds lightheartedly to Veronica.
Veronica: Now I remember! Daddy hid the fine ware behind the less than a million dollar pile to throw off robbers!
Archie: Yep, I wouldn’t even bother looking there.
Panel two: Archie is looking behind the less than a million dollar pile of boxes as we can only see his backside. Veronica has pulled out a small make-up mirror as she looks herself over.
Veronica: Find it yet, Archie?
Archie: Ugh. Not yet, but—
Panel three: Veronica’s eyes light up in alarm in response to what Archie says he has found. Veronica lets the mirror slip out of her fingers and her hair stands up on end as a horrible secret from the past is about to be revealed.
Archie off-panel: Ronnie, there’s an old box down here marked “ArCHie’s Toyz”.
Panel four: Veronica begins to run towards Archie as Archie is sitting down as he is looking through the box.
Veronica: No! Wait, that must be—a joke! It’s a joke! Ha Ha!
Panel five: Veronica is behind the pile of boxes as she looks on with worry as Archie is happily taking out various toys from the box. In one hand is a Cosmo The Merry Martian action figure as he plays with it like he was eight years old as he pretends that it can fly.
Archie: No! It’s my old toys from when I was a kid! All of them!
Archie: You remember! I lost them all and then you—
Panel six: Archie stares suspiciously at Veronica as Veronica feigns whistling and leans back and forth on the ball of her heels as she tries to look innocent.
Archie: --You replaced them for me…
Panel one: Archie has his eyes rolled up as he is thinking back to when he was a kid as Lil Archie is in his room and tossing socks and Pep Comics from under his bed as he frantically looks for one of his toys. In the doorway to his room is Lil’ Veronica is standing and hiding something behind her back.
Lil’ Archie: I can’t believe it, Lil’ Veronica! I lost another one of my toys! That’s twelve this week!
Panel two: Archie continues to reflect back his eyes narrow as he begins to think harder. In the background Veronica is handing Lil’ Archie a Captain Pow action figure still in the box as Lil’ Archie is overjoyed.
Lil’ Veronica: Really? Was it…this one?
Panel three: Archie face scrunches up as he realizes what has happened. In the background Lil Archie begins jumping on his bed and playing with the Captain Pow action figure as Lil’ Veronica begins to reach down from behind her back for one of Lil’ Archie’s toys (A Super Duck action figure) as Lil’ Archie completely doesn’t notice.
Lil’ Archie: Great! Now I just remember where I put Super Duck action figure!
Lil’ Veronica: Well, if you can’t find it, I’ll buy you a new one. You can always depend on me!
Panel four: Archie begins to rummage through the box of his toys to see that they are all the ones that he thought he had lost years ago.
Archie: These are all my old toys! I thought I lost them, but you took them!
Panel five: Veronica tries in vain to wave off Archie.
Veronica: Don’t be absurd! Why would I take your toys! I’m rich! Besides, I was kind enough to replace them for you!
Panel six: Archie begins to stand up as he confronts Veronica. Veronica becomes angry as Archie points a finger directly at her nose.
Archie: I don’t know why! I don’t understand how the criminal mind works!
Veronica: And what is that supposed to mean!??
Archie: I’ll tell you what it means!
Panel one: Archie goes nose to nose with Veronica as he confronts her on her past deeds. Veronica becomes agitated in response as she grinds her teeth.
Archie: You’re a thief!
Panel two: Veronica yells back at Archie as Archie stands defiant as Veronica jabs a finger into his chest.
Veronica: How dare you! I am a Lodge! I haven’t stolen a single thing in my entire life!
Panel three: Archie motions back towards the box of toys with one hand as Veronica points to the vault door for him to leave.
Archie: Right! You’ve stole multiple things!
Veronica: Why you—ungrateful…get out! I want you out now! And take your filthy toys with you!
Panel four: Archie walks past Veronica carrying the box of toys as she turns her nose up and has her arms folded across her chest as she refuses to acknowledge him. Archie looks straight ahead and doesn’t acknowledge her as he passes her by.
Veronica: And just so you know, consider us over, you geek!
Archie: That’s fine by me, you klepto!
Panel five: Veronica turns her head as she hears something concerning off panel behind her.
Archie off-panel: Ooops.
Panel six: Veronica is enraged and red faced as she turns to see that Archie has broken the vault knob off in his hands and now has trapped them in the storage vault. The box of toys is at Archie’s feet as he looks on worriedly.
Veronica: Well that’s just great!!
« on: January 17, 2015, 06:59:44 PM »
We're getting Archie vs. Predator, but what other franchise would you like to see Archie cross over with.
I'd like to see Archie vs Nightmare on Elm Street. Maybe Riverdale High is on a field trip, get lost, and has to spend the night in Springwood.
« on: January 16, 2015, 11:20:15 AM »
Well, I’m finally getting over the flu. Got it from my neighbor’s kid after I got her kitten down from a tree and she coughed on me. Curse that evil little child….
But I did pick up Jughead and Archie and Betty and Veronica digest. So things are looking up.
1. New story. Everybody likes something new. Well, at least until we install the new Windows an IT has some sort of problem with it too! The story involves Ethel making a wish to receive a kiss from Jughead and the Cupids trying to make it happen. Pretty fun story and I really liked the cupids design (Cupid Dan ruled). And I liked the ending because everybody gets what they want and it doesn’t betray Jughead’s character and I can believe a certain cupid’s plan can work.
2. Craig Boldman and Rex Lindsey. A few great stories with Jughead and his ears having to find a way to deal with winter, Jughead making twenty dollars off of a five dollar bottle, and Jughead in woodshop. Stories are all really funny and Lindsey knocks it out of the park like normal.
3. Schwartz. The legend has a few stories like The Healer where Mr. Lodge falls, hurts his back, and has to rely on Archie and Jughead. You can guess where this goes. A few gag pages. Jughead, basketball and pizza make a great combo in another of his tales. And my favorite is the classic “Trail’s End” where Moose is on the hunt and you do not want to be the one making the footprints he’s following.
4. The Art. There’s some really good art (and some bad) but mostly good. You have Fernando Ruiz who really elevates a pretty boring story thanks to his art. Stan Goldberg. Bill Gavin has some great art and it helps with some awesome inking from Terry Austin. Gavin contributes. So it’s not really a legend varierty, but a bunch of guys who are really good but never the fame or credit they deserve type deal.
5. That Wilkin Boy. Two fun stories involving Rebel being awesome and saving Mrs. Wilkin and another where Bingo tries to show off his history learning as Samantha and Teddy just mess with him. Even has a funny edit by Archie with “Better stick with the Cartoon Network over the History Channel.” Um, I’ve see the Cartoon Network recently. I wouldn’t make my worst enemy watch Clarence or Uncle Grandpa.
6. If you like Jughead without lunch, you’ll like this digest. A few stories focus on Jughead forgetting his lunch for school and him daydreaming about everything being food to everyone helping him out.
The art. I’ve mentioned how I wasn’t a big fan of Pat Kennedy’s but lately Pat’s art has really improved…yeah, well both Kennedy’s were on art choirs and they didn’t do a good job for the new story. At least with Ethel. Just check out her chin, it goes rectangular, round, pointy, to normal and looking a lot like Midge in the last page. I know it’s picky, but it really bothered me. I mean Ethel isn’t a polymorph. And there’s a few more Kennedy art in the digest that I’ve not a fan of.
Archie in Girls Galore. You know what I hate??? The Archie Stories that bother me the most!!! Let me tell you!!! It’s the one’s that have three exclamation marks at the end of ever sentence!!! It’s like the characters are screaming at the top of their lungs!!! It’s really annoying!!!
Jughead’s mom. …Can we please not draw her like a female Jughead. It’s not funny anymore! It just bothers me still. I just thought I'd take the time and point it out. Seriously, stop it!
Ten Things I’ve learned from reading this digest:
1. If the police will not stop a criminal, Archie Andrews will
2. Robinson Crusoe is a fictional character
3. Eating two pizzas makes Jughead play like Lebron James…the Heat version.
4. Never go to sleep right after reading the works of Edgar Allen Poe.
5. Rebel is hardcore and will do what it takes to save your life!
6. The Cafeteria Managers Workshop is not a gathering of friends…or good food.
7. Monsters do not exist, but why take chances?
8. Hamburgers make great earmuffs.
9. Show a chef how to make his food better and eat for free
10. The reason why a guy falls in love is because midgets wearing diapers shoot them in the rear with heart shaped arrows.
I wouldn’t exactly call this the best digest ever, but it’s pretty good. I think the new story was good, but with some flaws in the art and I’m beginning to come to terms with the fact that…we’re never going to have another digest that’s mostly Boldman, Lindsey, and Schwartz ever again. But we do get some variety. I give the digest a B, so check it out.
« on: January 13, 2015, 10:18:28 PM »
Panel one: The Setting is inside of the Lodge mansion as Mr. Lodge sticks his head out as he checks to see if the coast is clear. He adjusts his glasses with his right hand as if his glasses can somehow scan the area better.
Panel two: Mr. Lodge has a small NES—A GES here—with the controls under his arm pits as he sneaks out into a hallway on his tippy-toes. Archie is in the background as he notices Mr. Lodge acting strangely.
Archie thinking: Huh. So that’s how you sneak around in the old timey days.
Panel three: Archie ducks behind a corner as he watches Mr. Lodge sneak into one of the mansion’s many rooms.
Archie: Of course, that begs the question: why would Mr. Lodge sneak around his own home?
Archie: And what’s that weird gray box?
Panel four: Archie sticks his head through the door as he looks inside.
Archie: I don’t believe it…!
Panel five: Archie opens the door quietly as he looks inside to see Mr. Lodge sitting in his chair and playing the Game Entertainment System as he has the controls up to his face as he squints his left eye and sticks his tongue out to his right as he is fully concentrated on the game. Mr. Lodge has connected the GES to a small flat TV on a massive coffee table as he is just a few inches from the TV as he leans his head forward. Just to the side of his chair are a bottle of water, a broke down game genie, and a player guide that is torn and withered with age and usage.
Mr. Lodge: It may have taken me thirty years--but I’m finally going to best you, Crocodile Cody!!
Panel one: Archie is standing right next to Mr. Lodge as Mr. Lodge doesn’t notice as he fully into the game as he is pressing the A and B buttons like a maniac as he twists the controller.
Archie: Wow. So this is one of the old Game Entertainment System. I didn’t think an antique like this would still work.
Panel two: Mr. Lodge is pressing the up key repeatedly as he talks with Archie as Archie leans in closer to watch.
Mr. Lodge: That’s the trouble with your generation. You think of time like milk, while it’s really like wine. Just getting better with age.
Archie: If you say so, sir.
Panel three: Mr. Lodge eyebrows perk up as he finally notices Archie in the room.
Panel four: Mr. Lodge turns to Archie and yells at him as Archie points to the screen
Mr. Lodge: Archie!! What are you doing here?!
Archie: You better hurry and jump before that platform fades away.
Panel five: Mr. Lodge turns to the TV and frantically presses buttons in a vain attempt to save his character.
Mr. Lodge: Ackh! No! No! I was almost halfway through level one!
Panel six: Mr. Lodge throws the controller down to his knees as he bends over and growls in anger as he hits the arm rest of his chair with his right hand. Archie looks on with a smile.
Archie: Halfway through the first level…? That’s the best you’ve done in thirty-three years?
Mr. Lodge: No! I’ve been to level four, smart mouth!
Panel one: Archie puts a finger on the game control cord as Mr. Lodge is getting even more frustrated with him.
Mr. Lodge: Veronica went with her mother to the mall. They and half of the mall will not be back for hours. Go away.
Archie: A cable? Wow. I’ve seen pictures…
Panel two: Archie points at the TV screen as it shows a 8 bit picture of The Adventures of Crocodile Cody jumping over a digital gator while two poachers are shooting at him with slim rectangular bullets. Mr. Lodge snarls at the screen and shakes a fist at it as it fills him with rage.
Archie: What’s this game anyway?
Mr. Lodge: It’s The Adventures of Crocodile Cody. The hardest game ever created by the collaborative minds of sadists and nihilists! That’s what it is!
Panel three: Mr. Lodge presses the select button as he reluctantly shows Archie his answer. Mr. Lodge looks slightly embarrassed as he obviously has a secret he is hiding.
Archie: So you or any of your friends never beat it?
Mr. Lodge: …Just one.
Panel four: The TV screen has a top scores with the top ten highest score. All the scores are done by H and the scores range from 97, 000 to 90,000 points. Archie asks Mr. Lodge a question as Mr. Lodge turns away, rubbing his right hand through his hair, as he tries to avoid answering.
Archie: “H”? Who is that?
Mr. Lodge: --erm, um…an old friend.
Panel five: Archie is laughing as Mr. Lodge looks over and glares at him as his the grip on the GES control tightens.
Archie: Hah! Imagine, one of the top entrepreneurs in the world can’t handle this simple little game!
Mr. Lodge: Well, if it’s such a “simple little game”…
Panel six: Mr. Lodge shoves the control in into Archie’s chest and points at the TV screen as its back to the start.
Mr. Lodge: …Then show me how it’s done, gameboy!
Panel one: Mr. Lodge gets out of his chair and motions for Archie to take a seat as Archie happily complies.
Archie: No prob. There isn’t a game that can best Archie Andrews!
Panel two: Archie looks at the screen as he notices how bad the graphics are compared to today as Mr. Lodge’s mustache twists in annoyance.
Archie: What is this…eight bits? Wow. It’s like little blocks! And are their only eight colors?
Panel three: Archie pulls at the cord as Mr. Lodge frowns as Archie is annoying him even more.
Archie: Kinda weird not to be able to move. I mean, this is like an anchor!
Panel four: Archie looks at the control as Mr. Lodge grips the head of the chair tightly as he looks like he is about to explode in rage.
Archie: And how do you do combos? Like Up, Down, B,A,B?
Mr. Lodge: No—you just press one button to move and one button to jump and one button to use the whip!
Panel five: Archie finally begins to play the game as he bends over just over the edge of the chair and he begins to press buttons as he is full of confidence. Mr. Lodge rolls his eyes in disbelief as he has zero faith in Archie.
Mr. Lodge: Tell you what, Archie. You set the new top score, and I’ll reinstate your front door privileges.
Archie: Really?! Wow! You must have faith in me!
Mr. Lodge: No. I just never make a wager without knowing the outcome beforehand.
Panel one: Archie slams the controller down as Mr. Lodge looks on with satisfaction as Archie finally gets how hard this game is.
Caption: Game Over at the Level one Boss later…
Archie: This is impossible!! The main boss has three times the health and two times the ammo!
Panel two: Archie begins to stand up and reach for his cellphone as he plans on seeing The Adventures of Crocodile Cody beat one way or the other. On the TV screen is Cody making faces at Archie.
Archie: I may not be able to beat it, but I have friends! Chuck is into these nostalgia games, Dilton won the Video Game Championship…
Archie: …and I’ll coat the stupid cartridge in chocolate and let Jughead eat it, if all else fails!
Panel three: Mr. Lodge places a hand on Archie’s shoulder and ups the ante as Archie nods in approval as both are determined to see the game beat no matter what.
Mr. Lodge: Tell them there’s a thousand dollars to anyone who gets me the top score!
Panel four: Outside of The Lodge Mansion in a high angle view. Mrs. Lodge and Veronica are stepping out of their limo as two limos are just behind them and we can see that they are packed with various clothes, boxes, jewelries and ect. Various furniture are strapped to the top of the limos and looks like it could fall any second. Several members of the Lodge work staff are bringing dollies to help unload all the purchased items.
Veronica: Mommykins, that was a fun afternoon!
Mrs. Lodge: I always enjoy these bounding moments with you, Veronica. When I was your age I was always surrounded by your father’s friends and--
Panel five: Veronica and Mrs. Lodge look on as a dejected Archie, Chuck, Dilton, and Jughead with a sandwich stuffed in his mouth walks out in total defeat. Mrs. Lodge and Veronica look on in confusion.
Archie: Epic fail!
Chuck: I’d rather grapple with a real gator!
Panel one: Veronica and Mrs. Lodge are walking down a hallway as Mr. Lodge stomps out of the room in anger as he, Archie, and his friends failed to defeat the game.
Mr. Lodge: I swear! One day I’m going to buy that game company and make them remake that game easier!
Mrs. Lodge: Hiram?
Panel two: Mr. Lodge closes the door and blocks it with his entire body as Mrs. Lodge smiles coyly and Veronica looks on suspiciously.
Mr. Lodge: Hermione! Veronica! My, don’t you two look beautiful!
Mrs. Lodge: Others try, some are just natural, sweetie.
Panel three: Mr. Lodge grabs Hermione by her arm and leads her away from the room as Hermione willing plays along as Veronica eyes the closed door as she strokes the left side of her face with her index finger.
Mr. Lodge: Now why don’t you tell me about your day! The weather! Your soaps!
Mrs. Lodge: Oh, if you insist.
Panel four: Mrs. Lodge whispers into Hiram’s ear as Veronica sneaks into the room unnoticed in the background. Hiram’s eyes light up as he realizes Mrs. Lodge is on to him.
Mrs. Lodge whispering: Still trying to beat my score, huh?
Panel five: Mr. Lodge grin as Mrs. Lodge puts her head on his shoulders as they walk away.
Mr. Lodge: Well, “H,” your reign as gamemaster continues.
Mrs. Lodge: Next time let me watch. You’re cute when you play your video games.
Mr. Lodge: Fine. But I still wish that there existed a person with the talent and skill to conqueror that infernal game once and for all.
Panel six: It is now an hour later as Veronica is in the room and has gotten a perfect score as she seemingly has beaten the game effortlessly as she puts in her initials. Veronica is sitting cross-legged in the chair unimpressed as she obviously found the game easy.
« on: January 06, 2015, 02:14:14 PM »
Panel one: At the Lodge Entrance way is Mr. Smithers (with only his upper body shown) as he is using binoculars to see if Archie is trying to sneak inside. What he doesn’t see is to his far left as Archie is sneaking in through a half open window in the left of the of the background. On the ground of the Lodge Estate is several Anti-Archie signs, one reading See Archie, GIVE THE BOOT.
Panel two: As he is inside, Archie is confidently walking backwards away from the window. Archie’s stomach is grumbling to give the reader an idea that he is coming to eat over. Archie is completely unaware that Mr. Lodge is standing right behind him giving him the death glare.
Panel three: Archie is stretching his arms out in victory over his head as Mr. Lodge rolls his eyes.
Panel four: Mr. Lodge taps Archie on the shoulder to get his attention as the startled Archie still has the victory pose.
Panel five: Archie swings around and accidentally hits Mr. Lodge with his cupped hands and knocks him to the ground.
Mr. Lodge: !!!
Panel six: Mr. Lodge is beginning to stand as he glares at Archie. His hair is a mess and he has a bruise on his face with a small red angry pain star also glaring at Archie. Mr. Lodge is using a free hand to straighten his glasses. Archie is backing away as he puts his hands together and attempts to beg for mercy.
Splash Page: A running for his life Archie is being chased by Mr. Lodge as Mr. Lodge is rolling up his shirt sleeve. Archie has both of his arms pumping up and down and has a small dust cloud reading THE CHASE (the title of the story) behind him. To the right Smithers sighs as he throws the binoculars over his shoulder as he accepts he failed. We can also see all of Smithers to see that he had a giant boot on his right leg to use to kick Archie with to go along with the sign outside. Mr. Lodge has his head back like he is giving out a primal scream. As Archie runs, he accidentally bumps into a vase base and knocks it over.
Panel one: Archie is running along a hallway as he looks back at Mr. Lodge and doesn’t notice a small bump in the carpet.
Panel two: The tip of Archie’s right foot hits the small bump and causes him to sail into the air as Mr. Lodge looks on in amazement.
Panel three: Archie body rolls into a ball as he acts like a pinball and begins to ricochete off the walls, floor and ceiling as he damages the walls, knocks over paints, leaves indentations of his face in the ceiling, and knocks over several heirlooms. Mr. Lodge looks on in horror as he pulls at his mustache in despair.
Panel four: Archie rolls in towards Mr. Lodge in a sitting up position as he has several small planets swirling around his head as Mr. Lodge taps his foot as if waiting for an explanation from Archie.
Panel five: Archie holds up his right foot as a very small pain star is seen as Archie tells Mr. Lodge he stubbed his toe and it hurts. Mr. Lodge’s face is bright red and his hair is standing up on end.
Panel six: Archie is running away from Mr. Lodge and is using both hands to cover his backside as Mr. Lodge attempts to kick him as he gives chase. The two pass over aftermath of Archie’s clumsiness.
Panel one: Mr. Lodge is slowly walking down a hall with various standing knight armor beside him along the left wall. Mr. Lodge has lost sight of Archie as he strains his eyes to find him. On the helmets of the armors are different feathers to distinguish the identical armors. The shields of the armor all show a unicorn with a gold crown on its horn.
Panel two: Mr. Lodge stops as someone sneezes from inside of the armor just beside him him.
Panel three: Mr. Lodge smiles coyly and his eyes shift to the reader as he feels he knows where Archie is.
Panel four: Mr. Lodge removes the helmet from the armor as he prepares to expose Archie but no one is in the armor. Archie looks out from his hiding space behind the armor as he and Mr. Lodge are both confused by the armor sneezing with no one in it.
Archie and Mr. Lodge:
Panel five: Mr. Lodge holds the helmet out as both Mr. Lodge and Archie are examining the helmet as they try to figure out what happened.
Panel six: Both Archie and Mr. Lodge’s hair stands up on end and their faces light up in fear as the helmet speaks. Their bodies straighten up and both are on their heels as they react.
Panel one: Mr. Lodge and Archie both run down the hall as the helmet is on its side as a small mouse comes out and happily admires its mischief.
Panel two: Archie and Mr. Lodge are at a new corridor as they both are trying to calm down. Archie is bent over taking a deep breath as his tongue is sticking out. Mr. Lodge is his back against a wall as he clenches his heart and gives out a sigh of relief.
Panel three: Archie looks over at Mr. Lodge and gives him a thumbs up to show that he’s okay.
Panel four: Mr. Lodge responds the same as Archie is happy to see Mr. Lodge is okay as well.
Panel five: Mr. Lodge’s thumb then does the beheading gesture across his neck as Archie looks on wide-eyed.
Panel six: Archie runs away from Mr. Lodge as Mr. Lodge stretches his hands out as he tries to snatch Archie by his neck.
« on: January 04, 2015, 01:39:55 PM »
« on: December 17, 2014, 09:12:45 AM »
Part 1: Meet Scrooge.
Panel one: A shot of Dilton up on a snow covered hill as he is wearing a top hat and Victorian clothing as he tips his hat to the reader. It is snowing he looks at the reader. He has a scarf around his neck he adjusts as the wind blows snow past him. The town of Riverdale set in Victorian setting is in the distance below.
Dilton: Salutations, Scholars. My name is Charles Dickens, and I am happy to see that you would keep my company!
Panel two: Dilton is counting on his fingers as he begins to go over a brief history of himself.
Dilton: Hm, now where do I begin…?
Dilton: I was born 1812. A Friday if I recall correctly.
Dilton: I had a pet raven named Grip, who I once hypnotized to think it was a dog. Funny until he buried my favorite slippers!
Dilton: I’m a writer by trade and my other famous works include Oliver Twist, A Tale of Two Cities…
Panel three: Dilton motions down the hill at the Town of Riverdale as we can see the streets are covered in snow and people going about their day. The roofs of all the various buildings and homes are covered with snow and are decorated for Christmas.
Dilton: …And a certain literary work appropriate considering how the current condensation lends itself to the desired chronological occurrence and combination of two literature mediums!
Dilton: Ahem. What I mean is, this is--
Splash page: A shot of Riverdale as everyone is dressed in Victorian clothing. Along the right of the street is Pop Tate’s Tavern, Katy Keene’s New Ode to the Dress Shop, and book store called Take A Stave Shop with a sign on the window reading: Dickens Book Signing (Bring own quill). On the left is Dr. Beauman’s Curiosity shop, Matt Clark & Mary Fine Detective Agency, General Pickens General Store, and the Riverdale Butcher Shop. On the sidewalk are various benders. One is selling pastries, another is selling wooden toys, and another has a stand for imaginary toys as Danny, Juanita and Chloe look on in confusion. Nick St. Claire is coming out of Mr. Beauman’s with a whistling shrunken head wearing a Christmas hat as Bobbi, Rob and Adam take a step back. On the sidewalks are various poor people asking for money. Vic and Bobbie are giving Lil’ Jinx, Gigi, Greg, and Charley a few coins. On the right side of the street is a Christmas tree being decorated by Sherry, Sheila Wu, Ginger Lopez, Tono, and Raj. Behind that tree are several more that they are selling. Lonnie is walking down the street carrying gifts up to his head as Carla uses her cane to guide him away from a patch of ice on the street. Toni Topaz is coming out of the Butcher shop with a turkey nearly half her size as Sayid and Sandy Sanchez look on in amazement. In the background, we can see the hill Dilton/Dickens was standing on and see him as he is looking down at Riverdale.
AN ARCHIE CHRISTMAS CAROL!
Panel one: Lonnie is thanking Carla as she playfully motions at her glasses. Vic and Bobbi are walking along as Jinx and the kids wave goodbye as Greg keeps the money away from Charley who sees the turkey Toni Topaz has as she walks past him. In the background we see a figure wearing a top hat, black suit, and using a cane approach as a cold wind begins to follow behind him.
Caption: Yes, Riverdale during Christmas. A time for joy and merriment for the entire community.
Panel two: The cold wind suddenly hits everyone from the other panel as they begin to shiver and shake uncontrollably while the figure (Reggie as Ebenezer Scrooge doesn’t seem to be affected at all.)
Caption: Save for one person. One person whose heart has grown so cold, the temperature drops in his wake.
Panel three: The teens run away as Ebenezer Mantle is closer into view as he continues along the street. Unlike everyone else whose breath can be seen in the winter air, his cannot. The other children hide behind Jinx. We can better see that Reggie is wearing the traditional Scrooge garb but has the side of his hair white to help look older to fit the part. He is using a cane to swish away snow in his path.
Caption: A stare so frigid and bitter it would be better to be in the company of a hungry polar bear.
Panel four: Ebenezer Mantle is in the middle of the street alone as he is using his cane to smack away the caption box as he turns and snarls at it. Lil’ Jinx is walking towards Ebenezer as the other children motion for the reluctant Jinx to continue as she is hesitant.
Caption: This is Ebenezer Mantle, the meanest, nastiest, greediest, stingiest, sneak-YOW
Ebenezer Mantle: Quiet, you overly ambitious children’s block!
Panel five: In the background E. Mantle is turning to Lil’ Jinx. In the foreground the caption box has been knocked into the street and is halfway in the snow as it shivers and shakes like an actual person would if it was freezing.
Lil’ Jinx: Um, excuse me, sir…
Panel one: Ebenezer Mantle looks down at Lil’ Jinx as Lil’ Jinx fiddles with her hands as she tries to find the right words.
Lil’ Jinx: Me…my friends and I—we don’t have money. Can you spare a bit of change? To help us pay for food or maybe even cloth for the cold nights?
Panel two: E. Mantle begins to walk away as he couldn’t care less about Lil’ Jinx and the rest of the orphans.
E. Mantle: Your parents should have thought of that before they decided to be poor.
Panel three: Lil’ Jinx calls back to E. Mantle as E. Mantle continues to walk ahead, not missing a beat.
Lil’ Jinx: But—but our parents are gone!
Panel four: E. Mantle continues to look on as Lil’ Jinx looks on sadly while the rest of the kids look like they could just kick Mantle as he continues onward. Charley is trying to throw a snowball but Greg stops him.
E. Mantle: In that case, you should have thought of that before you became orphans.
Panel one: Ebenezer Mantle is walking in front of the Christmas tree as Sherry and the rest of the decorators look on as they continue to put on decorations. Raj is motioning towards the other Christmas trees.
Sherry: One, two look at me! Three, four, now the tree!
Sherry: Pretty great, huh?
Panel two: E. Mantle looks at the group and the tree in disdain.
Panel three: E. Mantle looks straight ahead as a dejected Sherry and angry everyone else looks on.
E. Mantle: If you had half a brain amongst you, you would chop up those trees for kindling and make a profit.
Panel four: E. Mantle is walking along as he looks up in alarm at a building with a sign over it reading Firm of Mantle and Cabot 3rd (the last name is crossed out with a black X) and he sees a small trail of smoke coming from the chimney. Mantle reacts to it like it’s the end of the world.
E. Mantle: Ack!
E. Mantle: How dare that carrot top take advantage of my absence like this?!
Panel five: E. Mantle is pushing past The Madhouse Gladys and nearly knocks Fran The Fan down on the street as the group looks at E. Mantle with contempt.
E. Mantle: I’ll pluck him freckle by freckle.
E. Mantle: I’ll boil him in his own pudding!
E. Mantle: I’ll call the cops! The Parliament! The King!
« on: December 02, 2014, 02:39:46 PM »
Panel one: Betty is driving her car with Veronica in the passenger seat as they are passing by several teenage boys on the sidewalk as Veronica looks and waves at them, causing them to form hearts over their eyes. Behind the teenage boys along a building strip is a Dollar Corporal Store and SaveU Drug Store. Betty has her car window up, while Veronica has hers up and lets it toss her hair.
Betty: Thanks for coming along with my grocery shopping, Ronnie. It’s usually pretty boring, so it’s nice to have a friend along.
Veronica: Well, you always accompany me where I want to go, and I thought it might be interesting to see where the other half shop for provisions.
Panel two: Betty parks in a parking lot as Veronica looks ahead in dread, sticking her head out open window with her jaw dropped and eyes wide as possible. Betty turns to her and grins.
Veronica: Wait here?! This—this I thought at least we were going to an Angles! Not a place like this!!
Betty: I thought you wanted to see “were the other half shopped for provisions”?
Panel three: Betty and Veronica step out of the car as Betty shows off the United Grocery Alliance. Veronica is using her left hand as a person and her right fist as an object about to hit her finger person to help illustrate her point. Betty just ignores her and remains positive. Outside of the UGA is a coke machine for 25Cent Soda and a small mechanical broke down rocket that some kid is riding on as her mother looks on. On the windows is a sign reading Mashed Yam Cakes 4 for 5 dollars! And another sign is Week Expired Bread. 4 For 40 cents! On the roof is a red inflatable man moving every which way as the wind blow.
Veronica: Betty, if I want to watch people ride a rollercoaster—I don’t stand on the tracks!
Betty: C’mon! The United Grocery Alliance is great! And you can only get hit by a shopping cart at worse!
Panel one: Veronica is looking around suspiciously as she watches a person with a shopping cart full of Vitamin Z fruit drinks pass by as Betty grabs Veronica by her arm and begins to drag her along.
Betty: Don’t be this way! The UGA has everything any other grocery store has, but twice as cheap!
Veronica: What’s vitamin Z?
Betty: It’s the vitamin that helps a zebra keep its stripes!
Panel two: Veronica follows behind Betty as they enter the UGA through the sliding doors as Veronica looks at a pile of giant cans of Cormato (Corn mixed with Tomatoes) sold in boxes of twenty-four for six dollars. Betty just walks ahead as this is normal to her.
Betty: And you can buy in stock!
Panel three: Veronica is looking at the cashiers of the three aisles as they are attending to customers. While she is doing that Betty is trying to pull a shopping cart free from a long line of shopping carts, but is having trouble. Betty is at the side of the carts as she is trying to pry her shopping cart apart from the rest. As she is doing this someone with a rickety shopping cart goes his way as his entire body jumps and shakes along with his shopping cart.
Veronica: This is quaint. Could you hurry up?
Betty: Just…just---errkk—a second---
Panel four: Betty falls on her back as she pulls too hard as the shopping cart races backwards
Panel five: Betty turns her head and her eyes widen in surprise.
Panel six: Betty races towards Veronica who is half way in the shopping cart after it rammed into her. Veronica looks up groggily and points a finger at Betty. A teenage boy and his mother are leaving as the teenage boy points to Veronica as if he wants to go back and buy his own girlfriend.
Betty: Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
Veronica: Why…? This the worst you can do to me, isn’t it…?!
Panel one: Betty and Veronica are at the vegetable and fruit section. Betty is looking through several tomatoes that are clearly soft and rotten as she tries to find a good one. Betty swats away a few fruit flies as she is undeterred. Close buy is someone struggling to put a sixty pound bag of potatoes in his shopping cart. Veronica is trying to open one of the small clear bags to put the tomatoes in. She is at her boiling point as she can’t get the bottom to open.
Betty: Okay, I think I found two good ones! You have the bag open?
Veronica: The Gordian knot would be easier to solve!
Panel two: Betty takes the bag as Veronica looks on.
Panel three: Betty simply shakes the bag as it opens up much to Veronica’s bewilderment.
Panel four: Betty puts the tomatoes in the bag as she closes her eyes and smiles at Veronica as Veronica turns to the reader as she twists her face in annoyance.
Panel five: Betty pushes the shopping cart along as Veronica follows close behind as she has her hands in her pockets and lowers her head as she is in a huff. In the background the person with the sixty pound bag of potatoes is in trouble his shopping cart has flipped over on him and trapped his legs. A UGA worker rushes towards him with a car jack.
Veronica: I obviously loosened it up for you!
Betty: Thank you very much.
Veronica: --You’re very, very welcome!
« on: December 01, 2014, 01:08:14 PM »
That I'm worried that a story will start being reprinted in a digest?
That and I'm awfully cheap.
The Archie character names and likenesses are covered by the registered trademarks/copyrights of Archie Comic Publications, Inc. and are used with permission by this site. The Official Archie Comics website can be visited at www.archiecomics.com.