Thrown Out 4
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Topics - PTF
« on: January 02, 2014, 11:43:49 PM »
I actually did this before the Lone Ranger movie came out and planned on posting it--but then the movie flopped and I forgot. I don't like critiquing others but--HOW DO YOU NOT MAKE THE LONE RANGER A RANGER!?
Part I: BEFORE THE MASK.
Panel one: A high shot of a far away western town in the middle of the Wild West. The landscape is barren land with coyotes and prairie dogs riding tumble weeds being blown by a heavy wind. The wind kicks up various dust that swirls in the air.
Caption: The Old Wild West. A time where good guys wore white hats and bad guy wore black hats. People who wore grey hats could go either way depending on facial hair.
Panel two: A closer shot of the town as we are on a street that leads into town with various buildings lined up along the street. On the right of the street is the Cooper General Store, The Riverdale Very First Bank, and the city hall with a dressed up Mr .Lodge in suit and top hat coming out with a tag on his coat that reads: MAYOR. On the right is Pop Tate’s Soda Saloon (complete with old timely windows and double doors), Several horses are tied up just in front of The Soda Saloon. The horses are using glass mugs as they drink from a water trough. Next to the Soda Saloon is The Funeral Parlor with a sign reading: Funeral Parlor: There’s a bullet with your name on it—might as well have a rock with your name, too! And right next to that is the Riverdale Hotel that is taller than all the other buildings. A husband is helping his wife carry in eight suitcases and trunks of clothes as he strains while his wife waits impatiently. At the end of the street is the Riverdale Jail. A cowboy and his horse are riding down the street and taking his hat off to lady. A man wearing a derby hat is twirling his cane as he watches several children play. Several children are playing cowboy and Indians with one lone kid as the Indian seemingly capturing the other kids playing cowboy.
Caption: Today we focus on the settlement of Riverdale and the beginning of a legend.
Caption: The legend of a man who fought for law and order, strived to obtain justice, and always washed his hands before every meal and every time he used the bathroom…
Panel three: A close-up on the Soda Saloon as a cowboy wearing a brown vest and blue shirt is playing Fish with three other cowboys. One cowboy slams his hand down in anger. From the cowboys hat, we can see several cards under his hat.
Cowboy: Go Fish!
Panel four a shot over the shoulder of someone wearing a white hat with a bit of familiar orange hair being seen and a blue shirt as the cowboy scrambles to his feet and begins to run off in fear of the cowboy standing before him.
White hat cowboy: I don’t take kindly for double dealing and over the shoulder looksies in my town, pard.
Caption: Today we learn the origin of---
Panel one: A shot of Archie as the sheriff. He is wearing awhite hat with a brown vest over a light tented shirt with a purple bandana tied to his neck. A sheriff’s badge is stuck to his chest. He is wearing dark blue jeans and light brown boots. He is leaning back against the double doors as he watches with pride that the card cheat is running off.
Sheriff Archie: Keeping the peace is only a little noisy as long as you take long strides and stand firm!
Caption: -- OF THE LEGEND OF THE SOLO SHERIFF!!
Panel two: Sheriff Archie falls back as the doors flip backwards and he lands on his back as his legs go straight up into the air.
Panel three: A shot the same as before now with no pain stars and Sheriff Archie completely out of panel.
Sheriff Archie off-panel: Owie. I feel on my prison keys…
Caption: …I swear he gets better! Cool mask and horse and everything! I promise..!
Panel one: Sheriff Archie is beginning to sit up as he shakes out the cobwebs as a lady wearing a fancy but quant pink dress is standing over him and offering him a hand.
Lady: Need a hand, sheriff?
Panel two: We now see that the lady is Betty Cooper. Betty is fawning over Sheriff Archie as she has hearts in her eyes. Sheriff Archie doesn’t seem to notice as he is dusting himself off.
Betty Cooper: I saw what happened from the General Store. You were so brave and handsome like you always are.
Sheriff Archie: That’s nice…
Betty: Maybe we could go inside and have a--
Panel three: Sheriff Archie’s head jersk up and his eyes light up as he looks past Betty. Betty frowns and rolls her eyes in familiar frustration.
Off-panel voice: Oh Sheriffkins! I saw everything from daddy’s office!
Sheriff Archie: You did?! Really?!
Betty: Sigh. That Mayor’s daughter is as welcomed as a cattle stampede
Panel four: A shot of Veronica wearing a fancy purple and blue dress, a hat, and wearing white gloves as she strikes a pose and shows off her looks. Various cowboys look and gaze at her from all sides (including up) of the panel as the are amazed at her beauty. Several of the cowboys bare a resemblance to the cast of Life and Times of Wyatt Earp.
Veronica: I did. In fact, I’m so impressed that I’m going to let you treat me to a malt soda.
Panel five: Sheriff Archie is leaping up and down in joy as his arms frail about wildly. Veronica looks over at Betty and playfully sticks her tongue out at her. Betty responds by making faces and sticking her tongue out back. The various cowboys from before are walking away dejectedly as the cowboys on top of the previous panel are beginning to fall to the street.
Sheriff Archie: YAHOO! YIPEE! HOHAH!
Panel one: Sheriff Archie and the ladies begin to enter the Saloon as we can see various card games going on at different tables. Raj and Chuck are making a card house on one panel, Two cowboys are playing Go fish with cartoon cards of Cosmo The Merry Martian and Super Duck. Several cowboys are drinking their mugs of soda as one lets out a giant burp through a heavy muschache that covers his mouth. A dirty, coon skin hat wearing mountain man with dirty boots that have left muddy foot prints across the floor shakes his head at the bad manners shown by the burper. A man clad in all black with a mustache is handing out business cards. A tall man with short blonde hair carrying a rifle is walking out with his ten year old son who has several pieces of candy he’s beginning to eat. Pop Tate is at the bar washing a mug. As Archie is being complimented Archie rubs his star in confidence. Veronica rolls her eyes at Betty’s attempts to suck up to Archie.
Betty: Archie, you’ve been doing a great job as sheriff! We haven’t had a killing, robbing, horse theivin’ or jaywalking in a week—a new record.
Sheriff Archie: I guess I’m just a natural.
Panel two: Veronica is talking as Sheriff Archie, as he rotates his right shoulder to illustrate how sore it is from him having to constantly use it to throw rocks, has a thought balloon of himself in Mayor Lodge’s office as Mayor Lodge is at his desk and is angrily pointing at a portrait of himself with a fresh gun hole as Sheriff Archie looks on guiltily as he slowly lays his gun on the ground.
Veronica: I have to agree with Miss Cooper. In fact, if you keep this up, Daddykins might let you have your gun back.
Archie: Heh. That would be great. My arm’s getting sore from having to throw rocks at bad guys.
Panel three: Sheriff Archie walks ahead as Betty and Veronica begin to have a spat.
Betty: Gee, why don’t you go talk to him about it now?
Veronica: Why don’t you go and sell another rusty pot to a prospector?
Panel four: Betty and Veronica are nose to nose as they begin to argue.
Betty: My pots are not rusty, they have character, you self absorbed twit!!
Veronica: Don’t you yell at me, buffalo breathe!!
Panel one: Archie is sitting at the bar as Pop Tate pours him a soda as he seems disappointed that the girls have forgotten all about him and are arguing with each other in the background. Betty is sticking her nose up in the air while Veronica has her shoulders slumped and arms dragging like a caveman. Two women resembling Miss Kitty and Annie Oakley shake their head at the two girls.
Pop Tate: So how goes the duties of the tin star, Archie?
Archie: My tin star is much less dangerous than my love triangle, Pops.
Panel two: Archie is talking as a background of a wanted poster with various shadow cowboy figures wearing red bandana masks appears just behind him to illustrate his conversation with Pop Tate The poster reads WANTED DEAD OR VERY BEATEN. $50,000 (less if your you’re a good Samaritan.)
Archie: I’ve been telegraphed that the notorious Red Bandana Gang may be heading our way, but me and my new mysterious deputy haven’t found a hint of them.
Panel three: Archie turns around as he hears a voice talk to him.
Off-Panel: Sheriff Idio—er, Sheriff Archie!
Panel four: A shot of Reggie dressed in all black and wearing black hat and dark blue vest with a small tin star pinned on it. Just under the star is a pocket containing a small red cloth. Reggie has a curly mustache and is rubbing his hands together like a super villain. Behind him at a card table everyone has dealt Aces and Eights as a foreshadowing sign. Archie doesn’t seem to notice or care as he springs out of his seat.
Deputy Reggie: I just found The Red Bandana Gang setting up camp just under Going To Be A Dead Man Cliff! We head on out alone, and we can catch them by surprise!
Caption next to Reggie’s hat: BLACK HAT ALERT!!
Panel five: Archie races past the arguing girls as Reggie follows behind him as he adjusts a red bandana that is in his upper vest pocket as a foreshadowing side of what’s to come.
Archie: We head on out alone, and we can catch them by surprise!
Reggie: Oh, someone will be surprised, Sheriff. Heh heh.
« on: December 24, 2013, 11:07:56 PM »
Mr. Lodge is storming into his mansion as he is wearing a hat and trench coat that is covered with snow as Smithers greets him at the door and begins to take his coat. Veronica and Mrs. Lodge greet him as he comes inside. Mr. Lodge is holding a briefcase that looks like it is going to explode because of the amount of paper and files inside. Mr. Lodge doesn’t notice that Archie, wearing winter clothing, mittens, earmuffs, is happily whistling up the path (made easier thanks to Mr. Lodge leaving foot imprints to step safely. Archie has a Christmas wrapped box under his arm as he goes on his way without a care.
Mr. Lodge: What a business trip! Plane delays, overbooked hotels, having to bend over backwards and do flips for that miserable old goat Wormwood just to preserve what I could of the south Greendale forest district!
Mrs. Lodge: Now, Hiram, don’t come home on Christmas Eve in such a foul mood.
Veronica: Mother is right, Daddykins. Don’t let your worries drown the merriment of the season.
Panel two: Mr. Lodge begins to adjust his tie as he is trying to calm down. Mr. Lodge’s glasses are beginning to fog up from being outside in the cold to suddenly being in a nice warm house. Archie is beginning to walk just behind Mr. Lodge as he waves at Smithers. Smithers rolls his eyes as he hangs up Mr. Lodge’s coat on a nearby coat rack made of gold as his reply to Archie. Veronica becomes overjoyed to see Archie.
Mr. Lodge: You’re both right. In this house, all the problems and tribulation I have experienced can just stay outside.
Panel three: Archie is right behind Mr. Lodge as Mr. Lodge’s glasses unfog to show his eyes glaring in aggravation.
Archie: Merry Christmas, Mr. Lodge!
Mr. Lodge: I was just talk about you, Archie.
Panel one: Mr. Lodge turns around and points a finger at Archie as Archie has the Christmas present extended in both hands. Mr. Lodge’s briefcase brushes against Archie’s knee as the brief case begins to shake and tremble like a chemical about to have a chain reaction before it explodes.
Mr. Lodge: Archie, get out! I’m in no mood for you! You can’t go an instant without causing me grief!
Archie: That’s not true!
Panel two: Mr. Lodge and Archie look down at the briefcase as it begins to shake and is about to erupt like a geyser with various papers, charts, and files. Smithers begins to run past Mr. Lodge and Archie towards the Lodge women.
Panel three: The briefcase erupts as various papers, files, charts, contracts, a horseshoe, a rabbit’s foot, and a jar with a label reading: Lucky Pennies (one is never enough) and even a Cosmos the Merry Martian doll explodes from the briefcase. Mr. Lodge takes a step back away from the briefcase while Archie uses the gift as a shield for his face. Smithers is shielding the Lodge women from the papers as various papers begin to stick to his back. Mrs. Lodge is covering Veronica’s head as Veronica has her fingers in her ears.
Panel four: The entire floor is covered in paper, files, and various other work items. Archie is shrugging his shoulders as he smiles nervously. Mr. Lodge is fuming as his face is bright red and he looks like he is going to explode with rage his head is lowered and his shoulder raised as he grits his teeth and steam is coming from his nostrils. Veronica and Mrs. Lodge are looking at the notes stuck to Smithers back. One note reads Sign Mad Gladys to Record Deal. Another reads Fred Mirth = Future Potential? And the last reads R(iverdale)DA Golden Ring mining Mobius project seeking Avatar.
Archie: See? That was a second easy.
Panel one: Archie has dropped the gift as he begins to back away from Mr. Lodge who stalks towards him with hand out and fingers twinging like they were talons about to clasp a small animal.
Archie: Now remember, Mr. Lodge—um er, Santa is watching you right now!
Panel two: Mr. Lodge begins to chase after Archie as Archie runs away down a hall of the mansion. The hallway is decorated with various Christmas lights, a Christmas banner reading A Merry West Wing, and Christmas reefs hanging along the walls.
Mr. Lodge: I’m rich! I can get anything I want! And all I really want for Christmas to get my hands on you!!
Panel three: Mr. Lodge has entered a room with a fireplace burning with stockings hung up for the family. Mr. and Mrs. Lodge’s stockings are golden and has various small gift boxes and teddy bears. Veronica’s stocking is five times as big as her parents and is filled with various jewels and new credit cards. Mr. Lodge is just behind a lit Christmas tree as he tries to find Archie. The Christmas tree is around eight feet tall, with various nutcracker, golden balls, and snowmen as decorations. The tree is wrapped in golden tinsel, red and green flashing lights, and a golden star with a L inscribed in the middle.
Mr. Lodge: Now where did he go?! I know he scuttled about close by.
Panel four: Archie inside of the Christmas tree sneezes as Mr. Lodge casually talks as he almost walks away from the Christmas Tree.
Archie in the tree: Achooie!
Mr. Lodge: Bless you.
Archie in the tree: Thank you.
Mr. Lodge: Think nothing of it.
Panel five: Mr. Lodge’s eyes go wide with realization as Archie peeks through branches of the Christmas tree timidly.
Mr. Lodge: !!!
Panel six: Mr. Lodge begins to lunge inside of the tree to get Archie as the tree shakes violently as the two begin to tussle.
Mr. Lodge: Now I’ve got you, you red menace!
Archie: Yow! Say what you will about The Grinch, but he at least didn’t try to kill a Christmas tree!
Panel one: Mr. Lodge has Archie by his back shirt collar and belt as he is preparing to throw him out. Archie has his left hand on his face cheek and his elbow dragging as he is disappointed, but used to this treatment by now. Mr. Lodge has shreds of tinsel all over him and Christmas lights are snagged around his left leg as continues onward regardless. Archie has various Christmas decorations stuck on his shirt and in his hair. Smithers is happily opening the door for Mr. Lodge. Mrs. Lodge and Veronica are sitting on the briefcase as they have managed to put all the material back inside.
Veronica: Daddy, don’t! It wasn’t Archie’s fault…for once.
Mrs. Lodge: A Christmas miracle!
Panel two: Mr. Lodge heaves Archie out the door as Archie bounces once in the middle of the driveway and begins to slide down the path thanks to snow and ice.
Mr. Lodge: Now stay out! And I had better not see a red hair or freckle until New Year!
Panel three: Veronica is in a huff as Mr. Lodge wipes his hands clean of Archie, like he had just put out the trash while he is shaking his left leg free of the Christmas lights. Smithers is rubbing Mr. Lodge’s shoulders to help relax his muscles as if he had just completed a round of boxing. Mrs. Lodge is holding Archie’s gift as she examines the tag.
Mr. Lodge: Oh, don’t worry. He has the memory of a concussed hummingbird. I would have tossed his box after him if it wasn’t a gift for you, Veronica.
Mrs. Lodge: Hiram, sweetie, the gift is not for Veronica.
Panel four: Mrs. Lodge holds the gift out to Mr. Lodge as he reacts with surprise as does Smithers, who is to his left. Veronica glares at the gift when she learns it’s not for her.
Mr. Lodge: It isn’t?
Smithers: It isn’t?
Veronica: Why isn’t it!?
Panel one: Mr. Lodge holds the Christmas present and can see from the tag that it is for him?
Mr. Lodge: Me?
Panel two: Mr. Lodge begins to open the present as he and everyone else look over his shoulders to see what it is.
Panel three: Mr. Lodge holds up a small snow globe with a mansion inside and a small note is taped to it as Mr. Lodge reads it aloud.
Mr. Lodge: “To Mr. Lodge. I know that I cause your blood pressure to spike, break your possessions, and date your daughter, but all in all you’re still a nice guy. Merry Christmas—Archie.”
Panel four: Mr. Lodge uncomfortably turns his head to see Veronica, Mrs. Lodge, and even Smithers glaring at him.
Mr. Lodge: …Well…but—I didn’t know--!! How could I have known---?!
Veronica: By doing what you just did earlier!
Panel five: Mr. Lodge hangs his head in shame as the three now have their arms crossed as they continue to stare him down. Over Mr. Lodge’s right shoulder is an angel version of himself standing over a defeated devil version of himself with various bruises and a broken left horn to show he got thrashed big time.
Smithers: Sir, even I acknowledge you have to make things right with the lad.
Mr. Lodge: Sigh. I must be the only extremely wealthy person with a fully developed conscious.
Panel one: Mr. Lodge is opening the door and waving Archie back in as Archie is rubbing his sore butt with both hands as he looks back at Mr. Lodge. In the deep snow of the yard, a polar bear is sticking his head out surprising a rabbit wearing snow shoes.
Mr. Lodge: Archie! Come here!
Panel two: Archie begins to come inside as Mr. Lodge smiles warmly at Archie. Archie is looking around worriedly as he eyes Mr. Lodge and his body tenses up. In the background we can see the polar bear, still covered in the snow except for his head and a paw, is offering the rabbit a soda.
Archie: You’re not just calling me back to throw me out again, are you, Sir?
Mr. Lodge: No, no! I’d only do that on my birthday.
Panel three: Mr. Lodge pats Archie on the head as Archie smiles, almost resembling a pet owner and his puppy dog. Behind Mr. Lodge is his family and Smithers. Smithers is holding the snow globe at his chest. Both female Lodge members are smiling at Archie.
Mr. Lodge: Archie Andrews, you are a clutz, I don’t like you dating my daughter, you annoy me in everything you do, and I see absolutely nothing in you…
Mr. Lodge: But you are a good young man with a thoughtful heart.
Panel four: Veronica grabs Archie by his arm and drags the love dazed, and sweating like he’s in a sauna Archie inside as Archie begins to track in water and mud from his boots on the floor as Smithers can only smirk. Mr. Lodge looks like he is going to protest. Next to Mr. Lodge is Mrs. Lodge with both arms behind her back and looking affectionately at M. Lodge.
Veronica: Come in! You need to warm up, and I had the maids put up mistletoe in the middle of the main hall!
Archie: I want to live in a forest of mistletoe trees!!
Mr. Lodge: Teenagers. You give them a compliment, and they run off with your daughter!
Panel one: Mrs. Lodge is holding mistletoe just above her head as she smiles at Mr. Lodge, who grins back as he brushes his mustache with his index finger. Smithers looks on and wipes a tear from his eye as he is genuinely moved by the show off affection.
Mrs. Lodge: Oh, don’t worry, Hiram. I already beat her to it.
Mr. Lodge: My, such a naughty young lady I’m married to.
Panel two: Mr. Lodge begins to kiss Mrs. Lodge as Mr. Lodge points at the briefcase. Smithers is placing the snow globe on a nearby stand as he prepares to grab the brief case.
Mr. Lodge: Smithers. You know where to put that briefcase away?
Smithers: But of course, Sir.
Panel three: A shot of The Lodges kissing as Mrs. Lodge continues to hold the mistletoe above her head. Smithers is throwing the briefcase out the door. The snow globe has the snow flakes inside forming a heart to help illustrate the scene.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL. MAY ALL FAMILES AND FIRENDS BE TOGETHER, AND THOSE WHO CANNOT, MAY WARM MEMORIES OF THOSE LOST BRING YOU JOY AND COMFORT.
« on: December 10, 2013, 10:24:47 PM »
Panel one: Betty and Veronica are near a Cosmo soda machine in the hallway of Riverdale High as the school day is beginning. Both girls are looking at Archie as he is across the hall trying with both arms to keep his books and notes and various other items from falling out of his locker. Veronica has a purse draped over her left shoulder while Betty has her back pack in her right arm dragging on the floor. The Riverdale Bulldog mascot has a pink puppy dog backpack and a doggie bag as he makes his way amongst the students going up and down the hall to their classroom or taking or placing books in our out of their lockers.
Veronica: Sigh, look at my Archie, Betty. Isn’t he suave?
Betty: And handsome, Veronica.
Panel two: Both Veronica and Betty turn to each other as they say the same thing at the same time.
Veronica and Betty: He’s the man of my dreams!
Panel three: Betty is poking Veronica’s face cheek with her right hand and pinching her arm with her left hand as Veronica reacts in shock and pain.
Betty: Pinch and a poke! You owe me a coke!
Panel four: Betty smiles triumphantly as Veronica glares at her and shakes a fist in her direction. She uses her other hand to rub her face cheek that had just gotten pinched.
Betty: You snooze, you lose, Ronnie. Remember, by girl code, you can’t talk until you give me a soda.
Panel one: Veronica uses one hand to wave off Betty’s comment and the other to point at the Cosmo Soda machine just behind them as she grins arrogantly.
Betty: Yeah. I guess it’s not going to be for long.
Panel two: Veronica is reaching into her purse and diamond encrusted dollar pouch as she begins to take out one of several thousand dollar bills.
Betty: Yowza! You could buy a soda franchise with your allowance!
Panel three: Betty looks on worriedly as Veronica is shoving the thousand dollar bill into the soda machine. Veronica turns her head and scoffs at Betty’s suggestion.
Betty: Ron, maybe you should use smaller bills. The label says it only takes 1 and 5 dollar bills.
Panel four: The soda machine is beginning to overload from the large bill as Veronica doesn’t notice as she has turned away and is using her free hand to mimic Betty’s mouth. Betty notices sparks coming from the money slot of the soda machine.
Panel five: The soda machine begins to spark as both girls step back as it shake violently to the point it is causing the ground to shake as the two girls cling to each other for support. Various other students passing by don’t fair much better. Especially one student who has his arms full with his paper-mache volcano as it erupts baking soda right up to the ceiling of Riverdale High.
Panel six: The machine is charred and has become warped like a squeezed soda can. The machine now reads OUT OF ORDER just above the money slot and the soda options are now totally blank. Betty is rubbing the back of her head as she assesses the damage while Veronica points at Betty while she uses her other hand like she is zipping her mouth shut as her way of telling Betty to ZIP IT! Just behind the girls we can see a puddle of baking soda.
Betty: Told’ja so.
Panel one: Archie is coming over to the girls as he is looking around nervously and weaving his way past various students who are lying on the floor covered in baking soda. The kid with the paper-mache volcano is the worse as he looks like a living marshmallow with shocked bulging eyes. Veronica innocently backs towards the soda machine as if to cover it up and shrugs her shoulders and puckers her lips to seem like she is whistling harmlessly. Betty looks at Archie and taps her chin with her index finger as she comes up with a scheme to take Archie from Veronica.
Archie: You girls okay?! It’s like a sumo wrestler stepped on a fault line!
Panel two: Betty is wrapping her arm around Archie and is leading him away from a stunned Veronica.
Betty: Archie, do you think we can sit together in 5th period, and together at lunch, and have a study date and then just a date?
Archie: Gee, Betty, I promised Veronica that—
Panel three: Betty continues to lead Archie away as Veronica, here eyes focused on Betty, is behind them as she punches back at the soda machine right at the Cosmo mascot as it seems to wince in pain from the blow.
Betty: Now, Archie, if Veronica minded I’m sure we would have heard something from her by now, don’t you?
Archie: I guess.
Panel four: Archie and Betty are walking off in the distance as Betty skips along side Archie as she stills makes sure Archie can’t turn around to see Veronica. Veronica is shooting daggers at Betty with here eyes. Over Veronica’s head is a thought balloon of Veronica strangling Betty until she turns blue with her tongue hanging out to her side. Svenson is using a leaf blower to clean up the science fair project student and other students who smile in approval. The science fair student’s face is being pushed back to the point he looks almost like Popeye the Sailor. The Cosmo mascot on the soda machine now has a black eye and missing teeth from the blow Veronica gave it.
Archie: Huh. I really thought Veronica would be upset and throw a fit.
Betty: Oh, I’m sure what Veronica’s thinking is nothing but the best.
Panel one: Veronica is stomping her foot as her face cheeks are bright red. Behind her the mascot drawing of Cosmo on the soda machine is backing away from the raging Veronica as it uses it’s arms as shields as it doesn’t want to be hurt again. Walking up to Veronica is Jughead who has a can soda that he is preparing to drink. Jughead is tapping the top of the soda so it doesn’t spew.
Jughead: So the next dance sensation or another hissy fit from Riverdale’s princess?
Panel two: Veronica eyes Jughead’s soda and points at it as she is filled with relief.
Jughead: Huh? Oh this is a carbonate beverage. It’s what we peasants drink in lew of nectar.
Panel three: Veronica is on her hands and knees as she is begging for the soda as Jughead tilts his head in confusion.
Jughead: So…you want this can of soda…?
Panel four: Veronica nods her head rapidly with a giant smile on her face as Jughead smiles back and gives her a thumbs up.
Jughead: Oh. I gotcha. Sure, Ronnie. What are friends for?
Panel five: Jughead tilts his head back as he lets the soda go into his wide open mouth as he gulps it down as small lumps of soda goes down his long stretched neck. Veronica is crawling on her knees and waving her arms frantically for Jughead to stop.
Jughead: gulp gulp gulp
Panel six: Jughead is burping as he is walking away after leaving Veronica with the empty soda can. Veronica is so upset that she slams the empty can into her forehead and completely flattens it.
Jughead: There you go. The can. Be sure to recycle it for when you’re done, Veronica.
Panel one: Veronica is beginning to stand up as she is dismayed as the one minute bell rings and students begin to go into classrooms. The science fair student from earlier looks on dejectedly as a line of students are carrying better and bigger paper-mache volcanoes than him as his paper-mache volcano is now warped and soggy.
Intercom: Remember students, one minute to get into your first period class. I repeat, one minute.
Panel two: Veronica slumps her shoulders and seems resigned into her newly appointed vow of silence as she enters Miss Grundy’s classroom as Ginger Lopez and Adam wonder what is wrong with her as they are just outside of the classroom talking.
Panel three: Veronica is inside of the classroom as she is raising her arms to motion towards Miss Grundy whose attention is completely in her roll book as she checks off names. Around Veronica, Ethel, Moose, Chuck, and Frankie look at Veronica in confusion as they don’t know what’s wrong with her. Nancy is in front of Veronica as she raises her arm as she confirms she’s here. Next to Nancy are two random students playing paper football as a real football is being thrown from outside into an open classroom window and heading their way.
Miss Grundy: Nancy?
Miss Grundy: Veronica?
Miss Grundy: Veronica Lodge…?
Panel four: Miss Grundy looks up from her attendance book as Moose points at Veronica who is now standing up with her jaw dropped from Miss Grundy’s comment. Veronica has her right hand just below her neck to illustrate how she feels insulted. One of the random students has the football jammed into his mouth as the other student tries to pull it free.
Moose: Duh, Veronica’s here, Miss Grundy, but I don’t think her vocal box is working.
Miss Grundy: Oh my! Veronica not talking! This might be pleasant if not serious!
Panel five: Miss Grundy motions towards the door as Veronica, with her head held down and back bent begins to dejectedly leave the class room.
Miss Grundy: Veronica, go see Nurse Robin.
Miss Grundy thinking: My. Look at that poor form. She must be awfully sick. I’ll send word to Mr. Weatherbee…
« on: December 05, 2013, 08:54:26 PM »
I remember Marvel did these in the late nineties where the front cover is folded and you open the inside and it has a brief bio of the characters in the comic and a brief description of what happened the previous issue or story.
Would that work for Archie comics. I mean, it would be a great way to have new readers know about the characters before they read the stories and characters who are less known can have a little info about them, too.
And Sonic and Megaman could use the too.
« on: December 03, 2013, 09:24:07 PM »
Yeah, before I post, I might not update or be online for awhile. My mother passed away last night and I'm not in a funny mood. I also hate just stating bad mood so I'm posting a fan fic I almost finished. I'll finish the rest later when I'm just in a better place.
Jughead in Big Brother.
Panel one: The setting is the Jones living room as Mrs. Jones is on a cordless phone as she is happy with the conversation. On the sofa is Mr. Jones reading a newspaper with a headline that reads: Evil Dolphin escapes! Flamingo taken hostage! And there is a picture of an evil looking dolphin with a scar over its right eye with a headlock on a flamingo. Jughead is sitting with his back against the sofa as he is playing blocks with Jellybean.
Jughead has spelt out FUD while Jellybean has spelt out AMBITIOUS. Hot Dog shakes his head at Jughead’s poor spelling.
Mrs. Jones: That’s great, Susan! Don’t worry, my son will look after them.
Jughead: Uh-oh. Something. Something sounding like me having to do something. Something that’s never good.
Panel two: Mrs. Jones turns around to reassure Jughead that he won’t have to do much. Jughead is cautious in his optimism. Mr. Jones is having trouble folding back the newspaper.
Mrs. Jones: Don’t worry, Jughead. You hardly have to do anything.
Jughead: When you do nothing all the time, hardly seems Herculean.
Panel three: Mrs. Jones explains what is going to happen today as Jughead looks down at Jellybean as Jellybean is building a small, well detailed, building out of the blocks as Hot Dog looks on impressed. Mr. Jones wads the paper in to large paper ball and tosses it behind the sofa as he whistles innocently to himself.
Mrs. Jones: Mrs. Gasby is bringing little Colin over for a small play date.
Mrs. Jones: Well, our little Jellybean is growing up! She needs to start being around children her own age.
Panel four: Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones begin to walk out of the living room as they talk offhandedly. Jughead sadly looks down at Jellybean as he thinks about the future. Jellybean knocks down the block building as Hot Dog covers his head for oncoming blocks.
Mr. Jones: Might as well get prepared for the inevitable, son. Our little Jellybean is growing up.
Panel one: A short time later as Mrs. Gasby is at the front door and beginning to hand Mrs. Jones baby Colin, who is in overalls with a small puppy dog on them as he looks cute as a button. Jughead is by Mrs. Jones side as he motions with his two fingers that he has his eyes on Colin.
Mrs. Gasby: Thank you for watching, Little Colin for me! I’m sure my errand will be just an hour.
Mrs. Jones: No no! Take your time!
Panel two: Mrs. Jones hands Colin to Jughead as she sees Mrs. Gasby off. Jughead is glaring at Colin as Colin playfully grabs onto Jughead’s nose with both of his small hands.
Mrs. Jones: Take Colin in the backyard with Jellybean and watch them, will you?
Panel three: Jughead is looking down at Colin with mistrust as Colin tilts his head in confusion.
Jughead: Oh, I’ll watch him. I’ll watch every move.
Panel four: Jughead is placing Colin down as Jellybean is playing with her doll Alex (see other fan fic because I’m the only one doing new Jughead stories, so I can put in my stuff). Jellybean smiles at Colin as Colin waves at Jellybean.
Jughead: Okay, let’s get something straight, pipsqueak!
Jughead: I know how guys like you think! I have Archie Andrews as a best friend! So none of your playboy charm and tricks, got it?
Panel five: Colin begins to crawl over towards Jellybean as Jughead reacts like a rattlesnake is going after Jellybean. Jellybean is welcoming Collin over.
Panel six: Jughead has yanked Jellybean off the ground to “protect her” as he yells down at Collin. Collin looks up at Jughead in confusion while Jellybean has her arms folded and looks at Jughead with annoyance.
Jughead: What did I just say?!?
Panel one: Jughead is pushing Jellybean and Collin apart as they begin to play patty cake.
Jughead: Hey! Hey! Jellybean is a lady! That’s too rough!
Panel two: Jughead is taking a stuff teddy bear from Collin and tries to hand it to Jellybean who flat out refuses.
Jughead: No! Jellybean’s toys! No sharing!
Panel three: Jughead is standing up with Jellybean and hugging her as Jellybean is trying to squirm free. Collin is looking on and shakes his head at Jughead as even he is dissatisfied with Jughead’s attitude at this point.
Jughead: My sister! Mine!
Panel four: Mrs. Jones is looking out the kitchen window into the backyard as she is washing dishes. Mr. Jones is at the kitchen table drinking coffee as has the evening paper of the Riverdale Gazette as the headline reads: EVIL DOLPHIN CAPTURED BY MYSTERIOUS MASKED SHAGGY DOG. Hot Dog is lying next to Mr. Jones with a domino mask half hidden under his front paws as Hot Dog smiles and winks at the reader.
Mrs. Jones: Um, hon, I think we have a problem…
Panel five: Mr. Jones is walking towards Mrs. Jones as he seems nonchalant about it. Mrs. Jones keeps looking out the window in disbelief.
Mr. Jones: What? Our little Jellybean and Colins not getting along?
Panel six: A shot of Jughead scolding Colin as Colin is playing with a toy truck with Jellybean as Jellybean is sitting in a huff with her arms folded and looking angrily at Jughead for continuing to ruin her playtime with a friend. Mr. Jones looks outside the window worriedly.
Jughead: No! Only Jellybean’s truck! You two are not driving off together even in imaginary land!
Mr. Jones: Oh. The usual problem…
Panel one: Jughead is looking out the kitchen window as he angrily glares at Colin who is now playing with Alex with Jellybean happily. The Jones parents and Hot Dog look at Jughead sadly. Mr. Jones is placing a hand on Jughead’s shoulder to get his attention.
Jughead: I told that little Casanova that that was Jellybean’s doll!! To the time out corner with him!
Mr. Jones: Son, I think you need the time out!
Panel two: Jughead is turning to his parents and Hot Dog half crazed as he points back to the window. The Jones parents are taken of guard and Hot Dog looks at Jughead wide-eyed.
Jughead: Just look out there! She’s all alone with him! Sure they’re sharing toys now, but that’ll lead to dating, which will lead to marriage, which will lead to—nothing comes after that!
Jughead: Don’t you see?!
Panel three: Jughead looks at his parents as they disagree with him. Mrs. Jones looks at Jughead mournfully while Mr. Jones shrugs his shoulders.
Mrs. Jones: No.
Mr. Jones: Maybe we’ll come around when she’s a teen—but she just now started walking!
Panel four: Jughead looks down at Hot Dog who shakes his head in disagreement. Jughead is beginning to realize he is the one who has the problem as he face twists in fault.
Panel five: Jughead walks past his parents and Hot Dog as he begins to leave. Jughead is going towards the living room from the kitchen. As Jughead leaves. Hot Dog is motioning with his fingers and that Jughead is crazy as Mr. Jones glowers at Hot Dog. Mrs. Jones tries to call Jughead.
Jughead: Fine. I see. I guess if I’m the one with the problem.
Mrs. Jones: Jughead! Wait! Where are you going?!
Panel one: Jughead is walking out the front door of his house as he has his fist balled and seems to be a man on a mission in his attitude.
Panel two: Jughead is going up a street corner and beginning to turn to his right as he approaches the Twyst Family driveway.
Panel three: Jughead is knocking on the front door of Trula Twyst’s house.
Panel four: Trula answers the door as Jughead walks past Trula as he marches inside.
Trula: Juggers, what are you--?
Panel five: Jughead jumps on the nearest sofa as he begins to lie down.
Panel six: Jughead is lying on the sofa and is motioning with one hand for Trula to hurry up and get over there to give him an evaluation as he seems completely dismayed with the idea. Trula turns to the reader with a smirk as she can’t help but smile at the situation.
Jughead: Let’s just get this over with!
« on: November 19, 2013, 01:11:52 AM »
It was…good to see him. My best pal. Someone who always lent me five dollars knowing I’d never pay him back. All the wisecracks and butting in on his dates and he’s still always there for a smart mouth moocher like me. A true blue…
It’s turning cold.
My arm. It’s turning cold.
It was hot. And throbbing. Pain. Unbearable burning pain.
So cold. And my vision…edging closer to some darkness, like day turning to night. Hard to remember everyone’s face. When I do…my stomach tightens.
I like eating. But not this craving. No…but it hurts. The hunger hurts. So dry. So thirty. Insatiable.
No—no! Focus! I’m Jughead Jones! I haven’t changed my underwear in two weeks! I like to eat; I like the art in pastries and all the mouth blowing flavors in a Big Pop double patty at Pop Tate’s Chocklit Shoppe! And I like to sleep!
No. I don’t—I think if I do go to sleep, I’ll fade away. I’m already drifting. An abyss. I’m looking into this endless well of darkness and I’m so hungry and I’m not feeling like me and I’m hungry and I’m cold and I’m hungry and I’m scared and I’m hungry and I’m hungry--
Never been this hungry. Not ever.
Insides are eating at me. Something sharp. Feels like I’m being ripped inside out…
Arm’s numb. Dead. Body numb…dying…?
No. Don’t focus on that. Think of something else. Mom and Pop. Jellybean.
Hot Dog…Hot Dog was dead. On the street. Blood. I—I went to Sabrina. She couldn’t help me…then she did. I dug a hole…near the River Styx…? I came home. Wait. He came. Something came.
Something clamped on my arm. Arm turned crimson. Wet. It hurt. It hurt real bad.
He didn’t come back. Hot Dog didn’t come back—something did…
So hungry. So cold.
Skin feels lumpy.
I messed up. I messed up bad and now I’m—
Dying? Something else?
I…I can’t even open my mouth. Can’t feel my mouth if it’s open. I want something to eat, but—not food. Not food.
I think…bad things. I’m—doing bad things soon.
Focus. Remember faces. Friends. Family.
Betty. Nice girl. Smiles all the time.
Veronica: Rich—bratty…but always fun. Wastrel…Mannequin…words…banter and quips…
Reggie. Jerk, but…o…ay…
Mom and Pop. Hungry---hungry
No. Mom and Pop…always good to mmmeggggh—me. Good to…me.
NO! Not—not think that! Never that—sister! My…little sister. Cute. Sugar and spice. Not—not eat…
I’m numb. Cold. Lumpy. Can’t…stay here. Want to.
There—there’s a party. At school. Wish I—could’a went. The Bee and Ms. Grundy would…be at door to say hi. Food. Friends. I—might have even given Eeerggthel a dance.
Chuck draw. Dilton—big brain. Moose strong. Midge…others. Kevin…? I don’t want to think about them. It makes me hungry. Wicked hungry.
Teeth not even mine. Skin…wrong. Think.
Laugh with Reggie. Nice Betty. Trade words with Ron.
Memories turning to a famine.
Everyone. Everything. A fading…a fading memory. I’m fading. Going.
Best friend. Red hair. Clumsy. Too many girls…the jalopy won’t start again…we’ll never get where we’re going on time, now…
Loan—loan me some money for a burger, would’ja Archie? I’m so hungry, I’m dying.
« on: November 06, 2013, 01:42:55 AM »
Panel one: The three squirrels of Pickens Park are gathering up nuts into a large single pile. The two tallest (Wally and Nutmeg) are taking the job more seriously while the fat one (Oaky-Doaky) is juggling three nuts while hopping on one foot. Coming at them is the familiar shadow of Hot Dog.
Panel two: The squirrels react to Hot Dog’s bark. Oaky juggling the nuts loses control and they end up all landing on Nutmeg’s head much to his dislike. Wally does the Home Alone palms to his cheeks pose.
Panel three: Hot Dog is trampling over the nuts they had gathered as he chases after the squirrels as they begin to make a mad dash to escape. Behind Hot Dog is Jughead with Jellybean in a stroller, buckled up and wearing a small jacket and pink shirt.. Jughead is upset with Hot Dog while Jellybean is reaching out with both arms and giggling as she sees the squirrels.
Hot Dog: GRRR BARK ARF GRARK
Panel one: The squirrels have made it up a tree as Wally and Oaky look down at Hot Dog as they shake their fists in anger. Nutmeg notices various acorns on a tree branch just above the squirrels and smiles as he is coming up with a plan. Hot Dog is at the base of the tree, clawing up at it and barking as Jughead wheels Jellybean towards Hot Dog to scold him.
Jughead: Blast it, Hot Dog! Not only am I trying to get both yours and Jellybean’s walk for the day done early—
Jughead: --But I wanted to avoid the girls Jellybean’s sheer adorableness attracts and you might as well be a siren!!
Panel two: Hot Dog turns to Jughead and Jellybean as he points back at the tree. Jellybean is looking up at the squirrels and waving at them. The squirrels are beginning to arm themselves with acorns as the look down and point at Hot Dog. Oaky opens his left palm and slams his right fist into it to show they plan on pelting Hot Dog’s noggin.
Jughead: Besides, those squirrels never did anything to you!
Hot Dog: Let me explain: Dogs hate cats, Cats climb trees, those fluffy rodents climb trees—ergo I hate them!
Hot Dog: It’s a scientific fact!
Panel three: Hot Dog is hit in the back of the head with an acorn as he grits his teeth and his eyes go wide in pain.
Panel four: Jughead is running away with Jellybean as Hot Dog follows behind as various acorns hit and fall around Jughead and Hot Dog. Jughead is pushing the baby stroller with one hand as he uses his other to shield the back of his head and Hot Dog is trying to pull his tail up towards him to protect it as it nearly causes him to fall over. Jellybean is having fun and is entertained by what is happening.
Jughead: You couldn’t have chased ducks or something?! It had to be the few animals in the park who can throw 90 mph!!
Hot Dog: I didn’t plan on them fighting back!!
Panel one: Jughead and Hot Dog are huffing and puffing as they are exhausted from the mad dash they had to make. Jughead is bending down with his hands on his knee caps as he is sucking in oxygen. Hot Dog is slumped on the ground with his tail especially limp. Jellybean is imitating the throwing motion of the squirrels as she laughs to herself.
Jughead: And I thought horning in on Veronica’s dates with Archie would be my most violent experience!
Hot Dog: Ohhhh…
Hot Dog: Those horrid bucktooth carrying nuts in their stupid jaws jerks! They pummeled the wag out of my poor tail…!
Panel two: Hot Dog’s attention is drawn back to the tree as hears someone whistle to get his attention.
Off panel: WHISTLE
Panel three: The three squirrels are mocking Hot Dog: Oaky is on all fours acting like Hot Dog as he is barking at Nutmeg while Wally is behind him with an acorn just above Oaky’s. Nutmeg is pointing at Oaky while pointing at Hot Dog with his other hand to help show who Oaky is impersonating.
Oaky: arf arf!
Panel four: Wally softly drops the acorn on Oaky’s head as Oaky goes into the fetal position. Nutmeg is bent over laughing. Hot Dog has the exact opposite response.
Middle squirrel: yipe yipe yipe
Hot Dog: GRRRRR
Panel five: Jughead has Hot Dog by the collar as he is dragging Hot Dog away before he storms off after the squirrels while he is also pushing the stroller as he is taking side steps as his entire body is nearly bent to the ground. Hot Dog is shaking a fist and snarling at the squirrels who only continue to mock Hot Dog; the taller squirrels are making faces at Hot Dog while Oaky has turned around and is shaking his butt at Hot Dog. Jellybean is watching the squirrels and laughing as she is reaching in their direction.
Jughead: There’s nothing worst than a domestic dog trying to act tough!
Hot Dog: Laugh it up! You may be up high in your fifteen foot tree, but I’ll bury you down low six feet!
Hot Dog: I can make it happen! I even buried a shovel once!
Panel one: Jughead is pushing the stroller along a paved trail as Hot Dog follows behind. Jellybean is turned over in her stroller as she is looking back and obviously wants to see the squirrels again.
Jughead: I hope that taught you something.
Hot Dog: Yeah. Get ‘em before they get to higher ground!
Panel two: Jughead sees a Hot Dog Vender setting up his stand as his tongue sticks out and salivates. Hot Dog has the same facial reaction. Jellybean has finally gotten free of the belt and is beginning to climb down from her stroller unnoticed.
Jughead: Say, it must be around brunch time!
Hot Dog: All that running worked up an appetite!
Panel three: Hot Dog is running up ahead as Jughead follows close behind as he is pushing the stroller and has not noticed Jellybean is not in the stroller. Jellybean is beginning to crawl away with a giant smile on her face. Several ducks are sitting on a bench and waving hello to Jellybean who responds in kind. Nearby is a sign that reads: PICKENS PARK. EVEN OUR ANIMALS ARE HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!
Panel four: Jellybean is crawling along as a penguin wearing a jet pack and a mechanical bird are flying up above her as she rolls her eyes and smiles, but continues onward as we can see the tree the three squirrels were last seen come into view.
Panel five: The three squirrels are at the base of the tree as they are playing poker and wagering various size nuts. Oaky-Doaky has his back completely to Jellybean while the other two are closer to the tree. Oaky is wearing a dealer’s hat and Nutmeg is trying to sneak a peek of Wally’s cards, but Wally jerks his cards out of sight. Jellybean is fast approaching with a giant grin.
Panel six: The two squirrels closest to the tree see Jellybean approaching and become alarmed. Oaky, who’s back is turned to Jellybean, does not notice her because he is too busy snickering at his great hand of Aces and Eights.
Wally and Nutmeg: !!!
Panel one: The other squirrels are climbing up the tree, dropping their cards and scattering their nuts as they leave. Oaky has just noticed that something is wrong as a giant shadow of Jellybean’s head is overlapping him.
Panel two: The fat squirrel turns around to see Jellybean reaching down for him. Every hair on the squirrel’s fur is standing up end as he looks like he was being stared down by a monster.
Fat squirrel: Eeeeeeee!!!
Panel three: Jellybean begins to hug Oaky-Doaky as Oaky-Doaky notices how nice the hug is and is beginning to calm down.
Panel four: Oaky-Doaky turns around and is motioning for the other two weary squirrels to come down and join in as everything is okay and safe.
Panel five: The two squirrels begin to run towards Jellybean as she continues to hug Oaky-Doaky and Oaky Doaky is now returning the hug as rubs his head up against her chin.
Panel six: The other two squirrels have joined in and each is on a shoulder of Jellybean and hugging a face cheek as everyone is happy and all smiles.
« on: October 29, 2013, 12:18:07 AM »
Panel one: Jughead is walking down a sidewalk after just getting a hot dog and soda from a nearby vender who removes a sign that reads: One Item Per Customer as a line of kids give him a thumbs up for his quick thinking. The Vender wipes the sweat from his brow in relief as this goes unnoticed by Jughead. Ethel is pushing through the crowd and is waving to Jughead as Jughead just grimaces that he has to put up with Ethel.
Ethel: Jughead! Oh my Juggie Wuggie! I’ve got great news for you!!
Jughead: I’m getting my ongoing series back and won’t have to be subjected to horrid fan fics?
Panel two: Ethel is right beside Jughead as Ethel has her eyes closed and has her arm at her right hip like a teacup as Jughead goes wide-eyed.
Ethel: No. I’ve decided that out of the long line of boys who want to walk me home, you’re up front.
Panel three: Jughead zooms off in a cloud of dust shaped like him. Dust Jughead has the hotdog and soda and is actually eating them much to Ethel’s astonishment.
Panel four: Ethel is calling to Jughead as Jughead is running down the street as several passerbys look on.
Ethel: Where are you going?!
Jughead: To the back of the line!
Panel one: Ethel gives chase as Jughead turns to see her chasing after him. Jughead and Ethel are jumping over a sawhorse as several people are standing to the side of the street as a giant banner is hung reading: RIVERDALE MARATHON. One fat kid is way back as he is already slumped over as a snail and tortoise walk backwards to mock him to his face as they inch ahead of him.
Ethel: Jughead Jones, you are going to walk me home if I have to run you down and drag you!
Jughead: How about I chip in for bus fare?
Panel two: Jughead is running into the crowd of marathon runners as Jughead adjusts his hat as he pushes his way into the group.
Jughead: Maybe I can lose her in this crowd!
Panel three: It is a the finish line as Jughead is zooming ahead of what appear to be highly well turned and fit male and female runners (including one guy on a bicycle) as Mayor Glibb is holding out a medal and sash (reading WINNER) as Jughead runs right into them and off screen.
Mayor Glibb: --And I say dat this year’s winner of this here stampede herd is…
Jughead: ‘Scuse me! Coming through! Popcorns in the microwave! Beep Beep!
Mayor Glibb: What in the name of North Carolina pink toed painted horny toads--?!
Panel four: Jughead is on a deserted street as he now sees that he has the medal around his neck and the sash across his body as he has no idea what happened.
Jughead: Hey. I got away from Ethel and I got Reggie’s birthday gift picked out!
Panel five: Jughead motions with his fist in disappointment as Ethel, wearing a silver medal and a sash for second, is within view from behind Jughead with her arms stretched out and her lips puckered as she blows kisses.
Jughead: Sheesh! She’s got the nose of a bloodhound to compliment her face of a pit bull!
Panel one: Jughead is running into the Riverdale Zoo as Ethel follows right after him. This panel is from a live angle view as we can see past the cement gate and see various elephants in pits, monkeys in cages playing duck duck goose and a flamingo doing a head stand as onlookers tilt there head in confusion.
Jughead: The animals have no idea how good they have it all caged up, protected from predators!
Panel two: Ethel has lost Jughead as she is in front of the lion pit as one lion is just outside of his den and fast asleep. Ethel is scratching her head and turning her head every which way.
Ethel: Rats! When he ran in front of the sloth cages, he blended in!
Panel three: We can see that a pair of hands are opening up the lion’s sleeping mouth as a long nose begins to stick out. Ethel is leading against the rails to the lion pit as she holds her head down and tries to think.
Ethel: He has to be close by…
Panel three: Ethel turns around and points into the lion pit as Jughead has opened up the sleeping lion’s jaws even wider as he sticks his upper body out of the lion’s mouth.
Ethel: There you are!
Panel four: Jughead is climbing over the lions pit back into the crowd as Ethel follows behind. She is using her teeth to stay on the bars as she grabs at Jughead’s feet with both free arms, but misses him. Down in the lions pit the sleeping lion has a thought balloon of a fish as it licks its lips in its sleep.
Jughead: Lions and Tigers and Crazy Girls—oh my!
Caption: I’m not so sure what she said exactly but I think it’s along the lines of, “I will catch you.”
Panel one: Jughead and Ethel are running into Pickens Park as Jughead has distorted his body towards Ethel as he attempts to shoo her away with his hands like someone would a fly.
Ethel: You can’t run forever!
Jughead: True. That’s why I plan on hiding half the time!
Panel two: Ethel is looking around as she has lost sight of Jughead. Behind Ethel is an apple tree. Ethel has a hand over her brow as she is beginning to scan the area for any sign of Jughead.
Ethel: Drat! The problem with guys who play hard to get is that they are hard to get when they have open space!
Panel three: An apple gourd fall from the apple tree and Ethel hears a sound that alerts her where Jughead is.
Panel four: A high angle view of Jughead as he is squatting on a tree limb and eating several apples as his face is swollen from the large amount of apple in his mouth as Ethel is on the ground point up at him. The three park squirrels are each sharing an apple as an angry worm comes out of the top and glares at them for ruining his home.
Ethel: There you are! You tease! You dropped that apple gourd so I’d be able to find you.
Jughead: No, I’m just a butter fingers when it comes to hiding and eating!
Panel one: Ethel has her arms wrapped around the apple tree as she is managing, through strength and her love, to shake the apple tree as to knock Jughead off from his perch.
Ethel: Come on down! Don’t be scared! I’ll catch you!
Panel two: Jughead is holding onto the tree for dear life as he is being violently shook along with the tree as a tree branch keeps bopping his forehead. The three squirrels have formed a ladder with the tall one hanging on to the branch the middle one hanging onto the fat squirrel, and the fat squirrel grasping the apple as the worm looks down in fright at it’s predicament.
Jughead: Gulp. What’s to be scared of.?!!
Panel three: Ethel stops as a pair of apples begins to fall down at her right side.
Ethel: We can take the long way home and you can hold my hand and talk about how my hair smells and---
Panel four: A large pile of apples fall on Ethel as she bends down to her knees and tries to cover up as she is starting to be buried by large amount of apples she has caused to fall.
Ethel: Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ouch!
Ethel: How could Newton not discover gravity—ow!!
Panel five: Ethel is covered up in apples as Jughead leaps down from his perch as he smiles triumphantly Jughead is eating an apple as he smirks to himself. The squirrels have the apple in the tree as the appreciative worm motions for them to eat the apple.
Jughead: So it’s not just doctors they keep away.
Panel six: Ethel explodes from the apple pile as apples fly every which way as Jughead holds his head down as he runs away.
Jughead: Curses! If only it had been an anvil tree!
Panel one: Veronica and Archie are in the middle of a picnic as hey have a plate of fried drumsticks, a peach pie, sandwiches, plates, and two water bottles on a red and white picnic cloth as Veronica begins to cozy up to Archie as Archie begins to blush and has hearts for eyes
Veronica: Oh, Archiekins, you found the perfect place for our picnic.
Archie: Ronnie-Pooh, you know I’d do anything to make you happy.
Panel two: Archie and Veronica are leaning towards each other as they prepare to kiss as they have their eyes closed.
Veronica: And now I’m going to give you something that makes you happy.
Panel three: Jughead suddenly jumps between them as he is continuing to run from Ethel. Jughead is reaching down for the plate of drumsticks as he licks his lips in
Jughead: Gee, thanks Arch, Ronnie. I needed a refuel.
Veronica: Get out of here, you idiot!!
Panel four: Jughead is running off with the drumsticks in his mouth as Veronica is sitting up and shaking her fist at him as Archie tries to calm him down. Above them is Ethel’s leaping shadow.
Veronica: You miserable wastrel!
Archie: C’mon, Veronica. He’s gone. We can still have the rest of our food and—
Panel five: Ethel lands on the sandwiches and peach pie as the sandwich fillings and the pie burst all over Archie and Veronica. Ethel doesn’t pay them any attention as she is crouched with her hands over her eyes like binoculars.
Archie and Veronica: !!!
Ethel: You won’t escape from me this day, Jughead Jones!
Panel six: Ethel is running from the picnic setting as in the background Veronica (covered in pie crème and tomatoes) is standing up, absolutely fuming as she has her head titled back and is screaming as Archie uses the picnic blanket to wipe his face of bits of ketchup and mayonnaise. Ethel doesn’t have any idea what Veronica is screaming about as she shrugs her shoulders to the reader.
Ethel: Huh. Did someone step on a cat’s tail?
« on: October 18, 2013, 01:07:11 AM »
Panel one: A close up shot of Jughead’s tattered and dirty socks as he is lying on his bed reading a Derby Dalton comic where Derby is a zombie terrorizing a character looking like Archie. The socks are brown and look incredibly stiff. The right sock is just a giant hole in front where all but Jughead’s small toe are wiggling out. There are various tears and various mustard, chocolate, and ketchup stains on the socks. In the background we can see Mrs. Jones looking in the room from the hallway as she is holding her nose because of a terrible smell.
Jughead: Why do I get this odd feeling there is a lesson in here I need to pick up on…?
Mrs. Jones: Ugh!
Mrs. Jones: Jughead! It smells like there is a dead body in your room!
Panel two: Jughead is lying up in bed as his mother enters the room and stares at his socks. Alongside of him is a bag of empty chips and candy wrappers lying on the right side of his bed.
Jughead: Should I be worried that you know what a dead body smells like?
Panel three: Jughead is sitting up as his knees are at his chest as he indifferently looks down at his battered socks as he wiggles his toes. Mrs. Jones points at his feet as she walks towards his dresser drawers.
Mrs. Jones: Just look at your socks! They’re torn, holes all in them, and the only thing keeping them together is dried dirt seeped into the fabric!
Jughead: I always thought they had character.
Panel one: Mrs. Jones looks inside Jughead’s sock drawer to see the socks are in mostly the same shape as the one Jughead is wearing. One sock is so bad that it is half sock and half tangled white string. Socks that are paired together are mismatched and various others are just thrown and wadded up every which way
Mrs. Jones: Just look at this drawer! How can someone who has done so little worn through all of these socks!?
Panel two: Jughead shrugs his shoulders as he is sitting on the side of his bed.
Jughead: I run as fast as I can to food and run as fast as I can away from girls.
Jughead: Riverdale has an excess amount of both.
Panel three: Mrs. Jones is standing over Jughead as she glares down at him. Jughead looks up at her nervously.
Jughead: Oh. I know that look. I don’t like that look. I keep my eyes closed all the time to not look at that look.
Panel four: Mrs. Jones is walking back to the sock drawer as Jughead waves off her idea.
Mrs. Jones: You’re going to get new socks today.
Jughead: There’s nothing wrong with those socks detergent, water, and softener can’t fix.
Panel five: Mrs. Jones has one of Jughead’s stiff, hard socks as she hits it across the drawer and actually knocks the corner off the drawer.
Panel six: Jughead begins to slip on his shoes as his mother looks on while rolling her eyes as she taps the hard sock against the wall as she waits for Jughead to get ready.
Jughead: Fine, I’ll go. Just put that dangerous weapon down and step away.
Panel one: Inside of the Jones car as Mrs. Jones is driving while Jughead is in the passenger seat as he is looking out the window to see Betty and Veronica each with an arm of Archie’s as they try to pull him away from the other.
Jughead: Aw, I could be tagging along and mooching off of Archie and whichever girl wrestles him away from the other!
Mrs. Jones: Maybe this will teach you to take better care of your things.
Jughead: It won’t.
Panel two: A high angle view of the windshield as Mr. Jones and Jughead begin to look up at an unseen building. Mrs. Jones seems really impressed by the unseen building while Jughead is totally unmoved.
Mrs. Jones: And here we are!
Jughead: Why do they call a building a building when it’s already built?
Panel three: We see Jughead and Mrs. Jones getting out of the car as they are in front of a sock shop called SOCK’EM. The building is red and blue with various type socks designs along the walls. On the top of the building is sign that has a cartoon sock wearing boxing gloves and a bandage above its left eye as he smiles. Inside the windows are various offer signs. One sign reads: By a pair, get a sock for three! Another sign reads: Try our goat furred socks! Goat-A-Riffic!
Mrs. Jones: Here we are! Sock’Em! They have foot shirts for even the most unique tootsies!
Jughead: So when you get old, do you gradually find lackluster things interesting or does it hit you all at once?
Panel four: Mrs. Jones is pushing Jughead inside of Sock’Em as Cosmo The Merry Alien in his small space ship flies in unnoticed over their heads and through the automatic doors. Mrs. Jones is using both hands as Jughead looks back at his mom with a slight smile. Just beside the door is a shelf of socks modeled after Josie and the Pussycats and on the other side is a stand up of Sock’Em The Boxing Sock as has his fists up ready for a fight with a word balloon reading: PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD.
Mrs. Jones: Get married, have kids, and paint drying becomes the Mona Lisa!
Panel one: A clerk wearing red paints and a white smock shaped like a sock is approaching The Jones Family as Cosmo is flying low below a table full of red and green polkadot socks. The clerk is welcoming The Jones: Mrs. Jones greets him cordially enough. Jughead doesn’t see why they need help as he waves and begins to head off on his own.
Marty: Hi. I’m Marty, do you need any help with your Sock’Em super shopping for today?
Jughead: What? We’re just picking out socks. How hard can it be?
Panel two: Jughead’s eyes go wide in surprise in an extreme close-up
Panel three: A far away look as a shocked Jughead is in the distance as we see an extremely long row tables and shelves with various shape and sizes of socks. Some socks are triangles, some are animals, striped, polka dot, some have laces to tie them on. Pretty much every sort of weird and different type of sock that seems to stretch endlessly. Cosmos is under one row of tables with a small backpack as he is beginning his journey unnoticed still.
Panel four: Jughead extends his arms to motion for Marty to go first. Marty and Mrs. Jones roll their eyes to each as they smile at each other in reaction to Jughead.
Jughead: On second thought, we might need a hand picking out footwear.
« on: October 03, 2013, 01:19:38 AM »
Panel one: “Jughead” without his crown and his eyes wide open is walking around a corner as Ethel runs up to greet him. Near a store the owner is yelling at a kid for putting up Christmas lights and decorations around his window instead of Halloween decorations he hired him to do.
Ethel: There’s my honey bunny!
Panel two: Ethel is hugging “Jughead” as “Jughead” seems okay with the hug as Ethel grinders her forehead into the side of “Jughead’s” left face cheek.
Ethel: You’re not even running or struggling!
“Jughead”: Being hugged is nice. Especially when it’s from a cute girl.
Panel three: Ethel’s face lights up in delight and see becomes dizzy.
Panel four: Ethel falls in a swoon and passes out in “Jughead’s” arms as he seems confused and nervous.
“Jughead”: Oh dear. She fell asleep. She must be tired.
Panel one: “Jughead” sadly kicks a can across the sidewalk as he somberly walks along, leaving Ethel lying against a wall as she has a wide smile across her face. The boy from earlier is angrily taking down the Christmas lights around the store “Jughead” puts one hand on his nose and another on his right ear as he seems disgusted.
“Jughead”: I bet she was sleep deprived and hallucinating.
“Jughead”: What girl would ever be interested in someone as hideous as me?
Panel two: “Jughead” is beginning to walk off panel as we can see a shadow of a hat wearing Jughead stretch across the road just before the turning the corner.
Simon: Face it, Simon Cecil, you’re the ugliest gent around and no else comes close!
Panel three: Jughead is now walking into panel as he casually notices Ethel as she is still happily asleep. Simon has now walked out completely
Ethel: Mmmm...Jughead…you’re the best hugger in the world…
Jughead: Sounds like a broken arm epidemic is plaguing Crazy Girl Dreamland.
Panel one: Ethel becomes to come to as Jughead is about to go back on his way. The boy is done putting up the Halloween decorations, but did manage to sneak Christmas hats on two jack-o-lanterns in front of the store as counts his money and begins to leave.
Ethel: Uhhh…I had the most wonderful dream.
Jughead: Sounded like a nightmare to me.
Panel two: Ethel springs up and tries to hug Jughead as Jughead holds her off at arms length as Ethel is puckering her lips.
Ethel: Juggie, give me another hug! And a kiss!
Panel three: Jughead pushes Ethel off as Ethel seems shocked at Jughead’s return to his old attitude.
Jughead: Sorry, Ethel, but the only thing I’m going ever going to give you is the time of day…!
Panel four: Jughead is running away from Ethel as Ethel looks on in confusion.
Jughead: Me getting away from you o’ clock! Set your watch to it! Same time all the time!
Panel five: Ethel scratches her head as she seems resigned to being back to the way things were. The store owner looks at the Santa hat wearing jack-o-lanterns and shrugs his shoulders with an “oh well” type attitude.
Ethel: Sigh. I guess I got him, but let go and now he’s playing hard to get all over.
Panel one: Simon is walking down the street as Reggie is passing by and has his thumbs at his nose and waves his fingers to make fun of Simon’s nose.
Reggie: Hey, Spindlenose! Finally ditched the stupid hat?
Simon: It’s not nice to call someone you’ve never met before names!
Reggie: If that were only true! But I know you too well!
Panel two: Reggie begins to pull at Simon’s ears and stretches them out.
Reggie: That string bean physique, ears the size of saucer plates, that stupid blank expression on your face and that forty foot pole just above your big mouth!
Panel three: Reggie flips Simon’s nose as his nose nods up and down rapidly as Reggie laughs.
Reggie: What no witty remarks, snide quips from ol’ elephant ears?
Simon: Ow! Sensitive!
Panel four: Simon runs past Reggie as he holds onto his ears and nose and ducks his head.
Simon: You mean, bully! You’ll get yours!
Panel five: Reggie is rubbing the back of his head as Jughead is walking behind him as he has his hands in his pockets as he’s just casually going about his day.
Reggie: Sheesh. What’s wrong with Jughead?
Panel six: Jughead walks by Reggie as Reggie goes wide eyed with shock.
Jughead: I ran into you on my way to Pop’s for starters.
Panel one: Jughead is looking back as Reggie points at him with one hand and points behind him with the other. Jughead lifts up his back leg as he mocks inspects it.
Reggie: How’d you do that?!
Panel two: Jughead continues to walk along as Reggie grits his teeth and balls his fists as he glares at Jughead.
Jughead: Normally, left foot, then right foot, but on occasion I feel adventurous and switch it up.
Panel three: Reggie runs up and gets in front of Jughead and stops him in his tracks.
Reggie: Oh I get it! You’re trying to show up the number one track runner! That little stunt of yours was a challenge!
Panel four: Reggie points a finger at Jughead as Jughead seems indifferent.
Reggie: Fine! I accept! Three lap around Pickens Park! An hour from now!
Panel five: Jughead continues to walk along as Reggie is in the background shaking his fist at Jughead.
Reggie: After the trouncing I give you, you’ll wish you never met me!
Jughead: I have a sack of pennies and a reserved seat in front of a well for that wish.
Panel one: Simon is walking back to where he came from. Simon seems apprehensive as he obviously would like to avoid meeting Reggie again.
Simon: I’m lost and need to retrace my steps. Oh, but I hope that that meanie is gone.
Panel two: Jughead continues to walk along up the sidewalk.
Jughead: That dumb Reggie. You’d think he could find someone else to bother besides me for once?
Panel three: Simon and Jughead are walking past each other as they don’t seem to notice the similarities just yet. The only difference between the two is Jughead’s hat and Simon has his eyes open.
Simon: Wow. That’s a great hat.
Jughead: Thanks. Like the shirt.
Panel four: Simon stops in misstep as he realizes that he ran into someone who looks just like him as his eyes go wide and his hair stands up on end. Jughead isn’t as shocked as just tilts his head as he thinks about seeing someone just like him.
Panel five: Simon and Jughead turn around as they look at each other. Simon is more surprised while Jughead is more lax about it as he rubs the bottom of his chin with his right hand as he looks Simon over.
Simon: Wowie! You look just like me!
Jughead: If you want to take the blame for that, be my guest.
Panel one: Jughead and Simon are talking as Veronica is walking by unnoticed by them.
Jughead: So what’s your name, pal?
Simon: I’m Simon Cecil. And yours?
Panel two: Jughead and Simon shake hands they smile at one another. Veronica looks on like she’s living her worse nightmare.
Jughead: Jughead Jones esquire.
Simon: Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jughead.
Panel three: Jughead Jones and Simon continue to talk. Still unnoticed by them, Veronica is running away, terrified at the sight of two Jugheads as several people look at her in confusion.
Jughead: Haven’t seen your likes around here unless in reflective surfaces.
Simon: Oh. I’m here visiting my aunt and decided to walk from the bus stop, but I got lost…
Panel four: Simon begins to happily reflect as he remembers Ethel hugging him. Simon folds his arms around himself and smiles from ear to ear. Jughead sticks out tongue in disgust.
Simon: …And then some girl gave me a hug! Normally girls don’t even want to look at me with these ears and nose. It was really, really nice!
Jughead: The only thing worse than hearing that, is to actually see me saying that!
Panel five: Simon shakes a fist as he recounts meeting Reggie.
Simon: And then I met this rude, big mouth who picked on me for no reason.
Jughead: Let me guess: Jet black hair, sneer, beady eyes…
Panel one: Jughead is talking as Simon responds. Jughead slams a fist into his open palm to illustrate how he and Reggie get along.
Simon: Exactly! He’s a friend of yours?
Jughead: Reggie? He’s as much my friend as a snake is to a mongoose.
Panel two: Jughead has a light bulb above his head as he has an idea while Simon is begins to pout.
Simon: It’s always handsome jerks like that who always get the girls and get the last word in.
Panel three: Jughead puts an arm around Simon’s shoulders as he leans in close to him.
Jughead: Girls I’m not interested in the least, but the last word—how about you and I split the difference?
Simon: What do you mean, Jughead?
Panel four: Jughead is whispering into Simon’s ears as Simon nods his head and smiles as he is excited by what Jughead’s plan involves.
Simon: Yeah---yeah. Wow. Yeah! That could work…really think they’d come?!…wow that’s smart!
Panel five: Jughead is waving Simon along as Simon seems to be so happy that he is skipping along.
Jughead: --Now that you know where Pickens Park is, familiarize yourself with it for a bit while I work on the attendance.
« on: September 14, 2013, 11:38:48 AM »
Panel one: The setting is The Chocklit Shoppe as Jughead is at his stool at the counter as he is arguing with Trula Twyst while he is trying to eat a burger. Trula has turned her stool around so she’s sitting with Jughead in her full view as she talks with him. Jughead is arguing with his mouth open as bits of food fall out on the counter. Behind them, unnoticed is a woman wearing a brown trench coat buttoned up completely to her neck, a scarf over her face, sunglasses, and a stylish hat over her head, all making it impossible to get a good idea what she really looks like, as she is staring at Trula. Chuck and Nancy are walking past the mysterious lady as they both look at her with twisted faces of bewilderment. By the front window a teenage boy is eating a burger as the top of Hot Dog’s head can be seen outside along with a sign reading: POP TATE UNFAIR TO MAN’S BEST FRIEND.
Trula: I am only telling you, based on several case studies, that people, who eat with their mouth open, are subconsciously asking for help!
Jughead: No, it just means that some pest—for example you, Trula Twyst—won’t let a guy eat his fifth burger in peace!
Panel two: The mysterious woman is pulling at Trula’s hair, nearly pulling Trula Twyst off the stool backwards, as she seems to be examining it. Jughead looks on with a grin as he finds this amusing. Pop Tate is wiping off the crumbs and bits of burger off the stool with his tongue sticking out in disgust.
Mysterious Woman: Such a shade of red, and these curls…natural!
Panel three: The Mysterious Woman is running out of The Chocklit Shoppe as Trula turns her stool around, while holding her head as small pain star is coming from it, and looks on with a glare. Outside we can see Hot Dog with several more signs on the ground. One reads: DOGGIE DOORS FOR EVERYWHERE! Another reads: CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE, I’LL CHECK FOR FLEAS!
Hot Dog: ?
Panel four: Trula turns as she is agitated and is pointing to the window of the Chocklit Shoppe as the mysterious lady runs past several other teens as they turn to look at her. At the window we can see Hot Dog’s head as he has his face pressed against the glass as he watches a random teenager in a seat and table close by eating his burger.
Trula: What was that all about?!
Jughead: Now you know how it feels when someone messes with your head!
Panel one: Jughead and Trula are walking out of the Chocklit Shoppe as a white limo is beginning to follow along side them. Trula is rubbing the back of her hair showing that her head still hurts as Jughead seems indifferent to her pain. Hot Dog is waiting by the door as the angrily turns towards the Chocklit Shoppe.
Trula: Why would someone randomly yank at my hair and run off?
Jughead Well, it could have been worse.
Panel two: The white limousine stops at the sidewalk in front of them as the mysterious woman begins to come out of the back of the limo. The limo driver is reading an issue of Mega Man as he is taking the chance to catch up on his reading.
Mysterious Woman: My dear, it is quite simple.
Panel three: A low angle view as we can only see from the left corner of the panel that the mysterious woman is wearing red high heels and a red sparkling dress as the trench coat is now lying on the ground behind her along with the sun glasses. The scarf and hat are following to the ground as Jughead and Trula focus on the woman’s unseen head. Trula has her head tilted in confusion while Jughead has his eyebrows raised slightly to show the reader that something is different about this woman. Hot Dog is rubbing his eyes as if he is not seeing what he is seeing clearly.
Mysterious Woman: For you see, I am not just your average crazy person; I’m an extremely rich one!
Mysterious Woman: Allow me to introduce myself.
Panel four: A shot in between the two teens as Pauline Elder is in full view. Pauline is bald with the sun glistening on her bare head as she is wearing a red dress, pearl necklaces, diamond earrings, emerald rings, and red high heels. She obviously doesn’t notice that she has no hair yet as she extends her arms to show case her hair that isn’t there. Trula is tapping her chin with her index finger as she analyses Pauline Elder. Jughead motioning at his head and pulling back his hair as he comments one what he sees in typical Jughead fashion.
Pauline Elder: I am Pauline Elder! Millionaire, entrepreneur, heiress, and owner of the best hair in the world!
Jughead: And I’m the proud owner of a unicorn I keep in my shoe box!
Panel one: Trula and Jughead look on as Pauline Elder rolls her eyes up and begins to feel at hair that isn’t there as she begins to blush in embarrasment. The limo driver looks from the window and begins to snicker to himself.
Pauline Elder: Eh…?
Panel two: Pauline begins to reach inside of her limo as she is grabbing at something. Jughead and Trula look on as they each shrug their shoulders as they have no idea what Pauline Elder is doing. Hot Dog is looking on with a thought balloon of a nut over his head.
Pauline Elder: I forgot!
Panel three: Pauline is throwing out various wigs from the limousine as she is still searching for the perfect one. About three wigs are thrown on the ground with one looking like Wendy from the Fast Food chain landing at Jughead’s feet. The other two are a blond afro and brown hair tied in a ponytail. Hot Dog jumps behind Jughead as the wigs freak him out.
Pauline: Which one…which one…!?
Hot Dog: She’s throwing critters!
Panel four: Pauline has now put on a wig with long blond hair and banes covering her left eye as she talks with Trula. Jughead is nudging the Wendy wig away from him with the tip of his right sneaker. Hot Dog is snarling and growling at the blond afro wig. Pauline is pointing at Trula as Trula twists her face in confusion.
Pauline Elder: Perfect!
Pauline Elder: And here is he part where we negotiate!
Panel five: Pauline Elder is handing Trula a check as Trula takes it as she is confused as to what is happening. Jughead is leaning over to look at the check and is surprised by the large amount written.
Pauline Elder: And by negotiate, I mean, I write you a check, you say yes, and we complete our transaction with the exchange.
Trula: What’s the meaning of this Ms. Elder?
Jughead: With that many zeroes, you’re asking questions??
Panel one: Pauline Elder adjusts her wig as it begins to slip over her eyes as she begins to flashback as she goes over her origin story. Jughead is jumping on one foot as the Wendy Wig is now stuck to his foot as he tries to shake it off. Trula rolls her eyes at Jughead as Pauline is beginning to go over her orgin. Hot Dog is rolling over the blond afro wig to try and kill it.
Pauline Elder: Fine. Let me explain...
Pauline Elder: I was like most babies in that I didn’t have hair when I started out…
Panel two: A shot of young Pauline at age eight as she is wearing a pink dress with white shoes and is bald as she is today. She has her arms folded and glares at a group of girls who are playing hopscotch just in front of her, jealous that they have hair and she doesn’t.
Caption: …What made me different is that I never grew any hair on my head! Not a single valuable follicle!
Panel three: Young Pauline is tripping a girl as she is jumping just in front of her as the other girls look on in shock.
Caption: Being both rich and bald, I really had not choice but to be evil.
Jughead caption: That’s what we’ve all learned from comics.
Panel four: Young Pauline is offering the girls an overstuffed piggy bank with one hand as the girls begin to pull and look at their hair as they try to fight the temptation Young Pauline is hiding a pair of children scissors behind her back with her other hand as she fakes being nice to the girls.
Caption: I realized that if you were rich and didn’t have what you want and you knew poor people who had what you wanted…you can get what you want for cheap!
Panel five: A shot of the young girls as they are now bald and feeling at their bald head as the piggy bank is just in front of them. Young Pauline has taped all the girls’ hair on her head in a big mess but she doesn’t care as she is happily skipping away
Caption: I must admit, I hadn’t honed my skills just yet…
Panel six: A shot of Pauline Elder in a corporate suit and wearing a black wig in a bob cut as she is standing in front of Hair If You Care Enterprises as she watches a delivery truck full of wigs being loaded into a factory. She has two wigs in each of her hands as she looks on with a sneer.
Caption: …But as I grew and studied, I became a BIG WIG, so to speak, in the corporate world opening the greatest wig franchise chain in North America!
Panel one: Pauline motions inside the back of the limo as we can see that the limo has shelves built in where various wigs are on display, placed on mannequin heads.
Pauline: But since I’m evil AND RICH, I can’t just have any common hair I sell for fifty times the price it cost me to fabricate on my important head—
Pauline: Pauline points at Trula’s hair as she goes wide eyed as she is still holding the check in both hands. Jughead is just now kicking the wig off as it lands on a bald man just walking by. Hot Dog stands over the destroyed wig triumphantly.
Pauline Elder: --So as a hobby, I go around the globe finding people with just the right tresses and locks to add to my ever growing personal collection!
Pauline Elder: I am going to buy every strand of hair on your hair and wear it as my own!
Panel two: Trula begins to tear the check up as Jughead looks on.
Trula: Sorry. But my pride and self-respect is never for sell.
Panel three: Jughead makes a quip as Trula glares over at him. Jughead motions with his fingers at his head like he has horns.
Jughead: Besides, how else will she hide her tiny red devil horns?
Panel four: Trula, while keeping a straight face, stomps on Jughead’s ankle as Jughead’s eyes face lifts up and his eyes go wide in pain. Hot Dog winces in empathy.
Panel five: Trula tilts her head to her right and fake smiles at Pauline as Jughead is jumping up and down on one foot as he is holding his hurt ankle as it throbs with various pain stars. Pauline seems unfazed as she focuses her attention on Jughead.
Trula: Maybe you should find yourself a doctor. I can think of several off the top of my head.
Pauline: More than that will be coming off your head, honey!
Panel one: Jughead is tossed a pair of scissors by Pauline as he stops jumping on one foot and catches them with both hands. Trula looks on puzzled.
Panel two: Pauline Elder loses her calm demeanor as shejumps up and down on both feet and points and raves at Trula.
Pauline Elder: That’s right!
Pauline Elder: I want that hair! You cut her hair for me, and I’ll give you five hundred dollars!
Panel three: Trula sneers in Pauline’s direction as Jughead focuses on the scissors as he seems to be in deep thought.
Trula: Hah! Your plan won’t work! I know Juggers! I know that he’ll—
Panel four: Trula stops as she begins to think about what Jughead would do as Jughead is beginning to open and close the scissors as he seems to be envisioning himself using the scissors.
Trula: I know he’d…he’d…
Panel five: Trula slowly rolls her eyes towards Jughead as realization begins to kick in. Jughead has a smirk on his face and the scissors in his right hand ready to use as he turns towards Trula.
Panel six: Trula begins to run away as Jughead chases after her as he snips the scissors in the direction of Trula. Hot Dog begins to run after Jughead. Pauline Elder looks on with a sneer as she rubs her hands together in anticipation of having Trula’s hair. The man who is wearing the Wendy Wig is modeling it in front of the limousine driver who gives him double thumbs up.
Jughead: Yep. She knows me all right!
Caption: Kids, Jughead is a fictional character. Please do not run with scissors!
« on: September 05, 2013, 12:42:34 AM »
A camera crew is outside of Pop Tate’s as Archie, Veronica, Betty and Reggie are talking to a reporter as Pop Tate stands to the side. Cameras are flashing and various other citizens are recording what is happening. One person is recording with his phone while the person next to him is on his Ipod looking at the recording. Veronica is striking a pose as she flirts with a few teenage boys. Reggie is all smiles as he points to himself with his thumbs. Archie is up front as he talks to the reporter. Betty is behind the others as she is much shier and is blushing as she waves four fingers for hello to the camera. Pop Tate is sticking his chest out and thumbs his apron straps as if popping his collar as he beams with pride. A world record person wearing a suit and slash reading RECORD RECORDER.
News Reporter: Riverdale News here at local teen hub Pop Tate’s Chocklit Shoppe as five teens have laid claim to have broken the largest éclair world record!
News Reporter: Archie Andrews can you elaborate?
Archie: That means talk to you about it more, right…?
Panel two: The record recorder is sneaking to the door of the Chocklit Shoppe as he prepares to peek inside. Reggie and Veronica are beginning to fight over the camera as both pose back to back and push against the other. Betty is left to her own as her face turns red and she tries to use her ponytail to hide her face. Archie is talking to the reporter as he motions towards his friends.
Archie: Well, we just thought it would be cool if we could set a record in Riverdale, and Pop Tate agreed to let us use his kitchen if we brought our own supplies and cleaned up afterwards.
Panel three: The Record Recorder pushes past the teens, agitated that he wasted his time. Archie is pushed into the reporter as the reporter catches him as Archie falls into his chest. The front door to the Chocklit Shoppe is wide open as Pop Tate scratches his head in confusion at what he saw that upset the Record Recorder.
Reporter: Wow! That sounds amazing! I know I’m not alone when I say-
Record Recorder: Why do I come to this rinky-dink town when it’s the same thing everytime?!
Panel four: As shot inside as Jughead is eating off of six tables lined up together that once held a14ft éclair but now only has the long tray with only a few crumbs to show that it even existed at all. Jughead is licking his fingers clean of the vanilla icing as he happily munches on the last bite. From the wide open door we can see Archie and friends, Pop Tate, and the reporter looking at shock.
Everyone at door: !!!!
Jughead: “Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.” I wonder if whoever coined that phrase was looking through a bakery window and hoped for the best?
Panel one: The reporter is storming out and motioning for the camera man to follow. Veronica and Reggie wave sadly as they miss being pictured. Archie continues to glare inside as Jughead is seen leaning over and licking the crumbs up from the tray. Betty looks on sadly. Pop Tate lowers his head as he is disappointed at what has happened.
Reporter: ARGGGH!! I could have been reporting at a dog show instead!!
Panel two: Jughead is continuing to lean over and lick the long tray clean as he takes long licks as four shadows loom over him.
Jughead: What do I have this foreboding notion of trouble?
Panel three: Jughead turns to see an angry Archie, Veronica, Reggie, and Betty staring him down. Pop Tate stays in the background as he looks on sadly. Jughead is perplexed at what they are angry with.
Jughead: Oh. Hey, guys. So…where’s the news crew?
Panel four: Veronica looks like she’s about to pummel Jughead, but Betty and Archie grab her and stop her. Reggie is motioning with his hands to let her at him. Jughead stands his ground, but tilts his head in confusion.
Veronica: They left just after the éclair we slaved over for over a day was gone, you human garbage disposal!!
Jughead: That sure isn’t top notch reporting.
Panel five: Everyone glares at Jughead as Jughead backs into the table.
Jughead: Heh. Er, um, I…
Panel one: Veronica pushes her way past Betty and Archie and she begins to storm out of The Chocklit Shoppe as she waves her arms in disgust in Jughead’s direction like she is tired of putting up with him and the grief he causes.
Veronica: Why we, me, and the rest of the human race put up with you is beyond me!
Panel two: Jughead tries to joke at Veronica’s comment as Archie and Reggie stare at him while Betty looks at him disappointedly as Jughead directs his talk at him.
Jughead: If the answer was in the mall, she’d have bought five of it. Right, Reggie? Archie?
Panel three: Betty begins to walk away sadly as she hangs her head down. Jughead looks on guilty as he looks like he wants to call her back, but doesn’t know what to say. Archie looks on as Betty leaves while Reggie continues to glower at Jughead.
Betty: Juggie, we worked really hard on that together, as friendd. And you ruined it because—because you’re selfish.
Panel four: Reggie points at Jughead’s chest as Jughead looks down at his finger.
Reggie: Y’know, I gotta give you credit, needlenose. When I cause trouble, I have to plan and work at it. With you it comes natural.
Panel five: Reggie is leaving as Archie follows behind as Jughead talks Archie as Archie frowns as he looks over his left shoulder at Jughead.
Jughead: C’mon, Arch. You know how I am. My eyes see food and my stomach holds my brain hostage.
Panel six: Archie is leaving with Reggie as Reggie motions for Archie to come on and leave Jughead behind. Jughead lowers his head as small tear squeezes out his closed right eye. Pop Tate looks on as he feels empathy for Jughead.
Archie: Jughead, you’re my best friend. But sometimes I wonder even if you consider me you friend when you do stuff like this all the time.
Panel one: Pop Tate walks over to Jughead as Jughead still has his head lowered in shame and guilt.
Jughead: My stomach is full of creamy betrayal and my heart hurts like that time I cracked a tooth on a jaw breaker.
Panel two: Pop Tate is trying to talk Jughead up as Jughead listens. Pop Tate is counting down all the food records Jughead has ruined.
Pop Tate: You’re a good kid, Jughead. But this isn’t the only you’ve done this:
Pop Tate: You gorge down that ultimate large soda, chowed down on the giant burger, munched the largest chocolate cake…
Jughead: If only cavities served as penance!!
Panel three: Jughead is asking Pop for advice while Pop Tate squints his left eye, rolls his right up upwards as he taps his nose with his right index finger as he tries to think.
Jughead: What do I do, Pop? I like food, but I’ve really grown attached to my clique over the years!
Pop Tate: Hmmm. This is a toughie...
Panel four: Pop Tate is still trying to think of an answer as Jughead suddenly lights up as he has thought of a way to show how sorry he is.
Pop Tate: I guess the first thing to do is to keep your mouth shut and—
Jughead: Eureka with a cherry on top and sprinkles all around! That’s it!
Panel five: Jughead happily runs out of the Chocklit Shoppe as a baffled Pop Tate looks on.
Jughead: It’s the most perfect way! And it can’t be that hard, either!
Pop Tate: Huh. I was going to say buy them all a card, but I’m sure what he’s planning will be just as fine.
Panel one: The setting is Riverdale High as Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Reggie are at Archie’s locker as Jughead runs up and waves at them. Inside of Archie’s locker is various books and scraps of paper and on the inside door is a picture of Veronica. Veronica pokes at Betty with her elbow and motions her head towards the picture of herself as Betty looks away as her fists are balled tight in rage. Reggie motions for Jughead to leave them alone.
Jughead: There you guys are! We haven’t talked at all this morning!
Reggie: There’s a reason, spindlenose!
Panel two: Jughead coughs into his right hand as he has his left arm down at his side and is standing up straight with his knees together as Archie and friends look on in confusion.
Panel three: Jughead holds up his right hand and has his left hand placed on his heartas he begins to make a vow to Archie and the gang.
Jughead: I, Forsythe Pendleton Jones—best known humbly as Jughead--do solemnly swear that, until my peers see fit to forgive my horrendous action, to not bite or nibble nor drink or guzzle any form of food!
Panel four: Jughead keeps the pose as Reggie and Veronica confront him about it. Archie is looking into his locker to see the picture of Veronica is gone. Betty has her hands behind her back as she looks away innocently.
Jughead: Tempting, but have to pass. No food or drink until you four feel that I’ve learned my lesson
Panel five. Archie is turning to talk with Jughead along with Reggie and Veronica. We can see that Betty is has the recently torn in two picture of Veronica behind her back as she stays just behind everyone else.
Archie: Um, Jughead, you have a weird metabolism. I don’t think it’s a good idea—
Veronica: It’s a stupid idea! He’s not going to go through with it!. The second he’s alone, he’ll sneak a bite of a candy bar or a sip of soda hidden under his hat!
Panel one: Jughead is walking away as he pumps a fist to show his determination as the others look on with various looks of confusion (Archie and Betty) and skepticism (Veronica and Reggie.)
Jughead: I swear the bonds of my friendship will clamp my jaws tight until you see fit to forgive me!
Panel two: A shot of Jughead’s eyes and upper brow. Jughead is sweating and his eyes are wide as he seems to be straining from an enormous amount of pressure and strain.
Caption: Two minutes into lunch later…
A high angle shot of the entire Riverdale Cafeteria. We can see Ms. Beazley in the lunchline pouring a yellow glop into a student’s food tray as the other students in the line begin to back away. There are two student tables. The first table has Archie and gang. Jughead is tense as everyone around his is eating and he is losing his will power. Archie is in between Veronica and Betty, who each are eying Archie. Archie has dropped the yellow glop on his shirt. Reggie is next to Jughead and is laughing and pointing at Archie. On the same table Ethel is showing Trula a notebook of her planned wedding with Jughead (with stick figure illustrations) while Trula is showing Ethel her notebook containing a detailed diagram of Jughead’s brain. Moose is blushing as he gives his small cup of pudding to Midge who rests her head on his shoulder. Nancy is looking over at Chuck and holding her hand out for Chuck to do the same, but Chuck looks away and whistles as he tries to feign not paying attention. Dilton is doing a lab test on the yellow glop as a small cloud resembling a skull emits from his test tube. Frankie and Maria look at the results and push their trays away. Ginger is showing Bridgette an article in her fashion magazine. Kevin Keller and Toni Topaz seem to be having an eating contest with various plates of the glop as Tomoko and Kumi keep count (Tomoko for Kevin and Kumi for Topaz.) Devon is cheering Kevin on. Raj is filming the eating contest while Tono is pouring ketchup on the yellow glop to try and hide the bad taste. Nick St. Clair and Akira are flipping yellow glop at each other with their spoons as Adam is using a notebook to shield himself from stray shots. Wendy Weatherbee seems to be enjoying the small food fight while Sandi rolls her eyes. Cricket is leaning down to pick up a quarter lying in the aisle as she has sniffed it out.
The second table contains the new kids and fan fic originals. Carlos is holding his paint brush at Shrill Priston as he offers to add color to her cheeks; she shakes her head to that idea. The Twitters are on their phones as Danny D’Angelo, Rob Mantaukette, and Simon Silverstein poke fun at them as they imitate the female trio. Vic Johnson is flexing his massive muscles and Chunk is eating a piece of pie as he shows his more flabby arm, but Vic still nods in approval. Sheila Wu and Chloe Mancuso are talking nonstop with Carla Teal, who looks to be wishing she was deaf, caught in the middle. Sherry Tyme is practicing her cheerleading as Bobbi Suarez, Sayid Jamal Ali, and Lonnie Renwood look on. Gregory “The Glutton” Gorgey is stealing food off of Aaron Angerer’s plate as Aaron looks like he wants to punch The Glutton. Mark Mathews tries to defuse the situation as he offers Aaron his desert. The costumed Riverdale Mascot has a giant dog bone in his tray and he holds a fork and spoon in his hands as he prepares to eat. Jinx Malloy has an entire section all to himself as the entire table section is damaged (various cracks and missing bits of wood like someone dropped it from the roof and set it back up best they could) and the bench to the seats have collapsed as Jinx is forced to sit lopsided because of it.
By the double doors to the cafeteria is the Riverdale staff. Mr. Weatherbee is chowing down on the yellow glop as Ms. Grundy looks on in disgust. Coach Kleats is telling a story and is standing up in his chair as he pretends to throw a pass. Coach Clayton rolls his eyes as he listens on. Ms. Lauriette is acting out Hamlet as Ms. Haggley applauds her acting skill. Ms. Burble, The Guidance Councilor looks on wide-eyed as she thinks about the counseling the faculty needs. Ms. Philips is drinking a cup of coffee casually as she’s used to the mayhem. Mr. Svenson is whistling to himself as he sweeps up various banana peels, wrappers and other food items into a nice small pile in the corner that is nearly as big as the trash can next to it and Mr. Svenson only has a tiny dustpan to put it all in.
Jughead: I should have used the bonds of friendship to make a noose!
« on: September 03, 2013, 08:47:53 AM »
Eh, everyone is probably going to get a thread eventually--well probably not Archie
--so why not?
What have been some of best moments featuring Jughead's number one nemesis?
« on: August 29, 2013, 11:47:38 PM »
What if, for a year or so, Archie and Friends double digest actually collected the stories of one of the secondary characters for a month and then focused on another the next.
Like one month could be Moose month, the next Trula Twyst, Reggie and so on.
It would be a nice way for readers to figure out who the characters are since readers can go a pretty long bit without seeing a character. That and sometimes I don't see the difference between Friends and World of Archie.
« on: August 18, 2013, 08:48:28 AM »
One thing I have trouble grasping is Archie inheriting his clumsiness from his father. Okay, we've all seen various family reunion stories where Archie is with his family and they all look like him and are clumsy like him--but Archie and everyone else in the Andrews clan looks more like Mrs. Andrews than Mr. Andrews.
It just always seems to me that Mrs. Andrews should be the clumsier of the Andrews parents because of those stories.
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