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Topics - PTF

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 11
Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve done a review, but it’s also been awhile since a digest had a brand spanking new story in it too.

The Good.

The new story: Hey new stuff! The Secret Santa Secret Swap is a pretty fun story for the most part and drawn well for the most part (I’ll talk about a few problems in the bad). The students of Riverdale draw names for Secret Santa even though Archie already has the perfect gift for Veronica, so Reggie gives him the idea to trade until he finds her name. This leads to a great chase with Archie going from student to student, which I really love because it’s a fun way to show off the secondary characters You see Raj, Harper, the New Class kids, Wendy Weatherbee and others. And Archie having to deal with shenanigans and shenanigans on his quest was fun. Like I said, there are a few problems, especially the end, but overall, for a six page story, it’s pretty fun. So kudos to Paul Kupperburg and Fernando Ruiz.

Drill Sergeant Patton Howitzer. Heck yeah! Mr. Weatherbee wants to show off his skills to the Riverdale football team, but the kids see this as their one chance to unload on him and take it, injuring his back. That leads to the school board bringing in THE SUBSITTUTE TEACER FROM HECK (yeah, this is a G rated review). And he runs the school like a bootcamp with the kids practically begging Mr. Weatherbee to recover quickily. I really like this character because it’s one of the few times you have an actual antagonist for the gang. I’m talking full on bad guy. No redeemable traits. He’s a horrible jerk to everyone. I wish he was still around because I think a few true bad guys would liven up Archie. Seriously, you’re telling me in all of Riverdale High, no other teen is a total spaz? C’mon!

Super Duck. Double Heck Yeah! The first story sees him planning to eat out for some good food and take the old thrown to the curb when you can’t pay bit, but the restaurant has other ideas. The next is him being lucky and his luck running out. I like the stories. Okay, the younger duck, I can see someone saying rip-off of Huey (it’s obviously Huey folks) but Super Duck’s personality shouldn’t make anyone think of Donald Duck.

Josie: Fun stories, especially the Melody based one that is so stupid…yeah, it’s perfect for Melody. And I gotta say—I like Albert a hundred fold better than Alan M. Because every time I happen to pick up a digest with a Josie and the Pussycats story he’s either boring or just a jerk. Yeah, Alexandra is mean, but she’s always nice to you, don’t push her to the ground you barbarian! Albert actually has personality to him. But I guess when it was revised big boring blond guys were in.

The Holiday stories. We get old school Jingles who is pretty darn vicious, Archie seeing the good and bad of being a mall Santa, how giving your boyfriend to your BFF for a day is nice for the season, but not for much longer than that. All the holiday stories are really fun reads. Especially the last one with Veronica’s present for Jughead. Heh Heh Heh.

The Bad.

The lead story’s ending. One I problem with The Secret Santa Secret Swap comes at the end. Okay, it’s fine because it looks like Reggie had Veronica’s name all along and gave Archie the idea to run around on a wild goose chase but then it turns out—Betty’s idea after she heard what Archie was doing. But Reggie saw Archie trade with Jughead and then gave him the idea to trade for Veronica, so Betty never had time to give Reggie the idea.  It doesn’t make sense. It would have worked better if Reggie had Veronica’s name to jerk with Archie and Archie is happy ending up with Betty. And since I just nicked pick Paul Kupperberg, I’ll be fair and do the same with Fernando Ruiz (please forgive me!) Vic looked a little to small and not muscular enough when Archie talks with him (From what I understand, Vic is taller and more muscular than even Moose) And I had trouble telling who Archie was taking over dog walking duties for to get a trade. I thought it was Dilton at first, but I’m pretty sure it’s Chloe. I mean, for the most part I like the story, But with the Betty idea part—WHA?

Mr. Weatherbee. I like Mr. Weatherbee, but wow, kinda unloaded on the Weatherbee stories on this one. And they’re okay, but there’s also a reason why Mrs. Bliss didn’t last and got turned into Saved by the Bell. Maybe Faculty Follies memories are working against me.

One story where you really can’t distinguish Betty and Veronica. I just don’t like it when you could really just switch the two in story and nothing would be affected. What are we, Michael Bendis? 

What I learned from this issue.

1.   Jingles is a sadistic monster.
2.   Ribbons and Christmas Wrap are surprisingly great to use to hold someone captive.
3.   Wow. Toni Topaz on the cover and in the comic?  So it is possible!
4.   I don’t think Archie and the Teens fully grasp the concept of Secret Santa.
5.   Discipline from Drill Sergeant Patton Howitzer will continue until moral improves, soldiers!
6.   We can put Fir Tree in front yard on the list of things Mr. Lodge likes more than Archie.
7.   Never do too good a job on a difficult task that happens that you could do next year.
8.   The Eighties were all about big hair, small computers, and arcade trophies.
9.   Never give your date to your best friend on Christmas!
10.   Riverdale High School Football defense…what you did to Weatherbee wasn’t just a penalty, that was attempted murder!

I’ll give this issue a B. I really like the idea to the lead story, but that ending just hurt it. But five pages out of six isn’t bad. The art throughout was good. We got the into of Barry Howitzer. Great Holiday stories, Josie stories, and Super Duck I think there were too many Weatherbee center stories, but overall I’m happy with the purchase.

Fan Fiction / Jughead in The Best Little Princess Ever After!
« on: October 28, 2014, 11:31:10 PM »
Page 1

Panel one: The setting is the Jones Family living room. Jughead is strapping Jellybean into her stroller as Jellybean is excited to go outside with Jughead as Mrs. Jones looks on reluctantly in response to Jughead’s words.

Jughead: Well, Jellybean, it’s that time of year for me to help you pick out your Halloween costume!

Jellybean: Yay!

Panel two: Mrs. Jones comments as she is skeptical about Jughead’s choice of costume for Jellybean as Jughead smile fades after what he hears.

Mrs. Jones: Yes, I’m sure it’ll be another “wonderful” selection. Maybe a truck driver or duck call maker this year.

Panel three: Jughead turns to his mother as she smiles and rolls her eyes.

Jughead: All fine choices, but I can’t help but believe you are being one snarky mommy.

Mrs. Jones: That’s the silliest way to put it.

Page 2

Panel one: Mrs. Jones is talking to Jughead as a display of the various costumes that Jughead has bought Jellybean is displayed in the background. One costume is Jellybean as a construction worker with a mustache, another is Jellybean as a ninja with a name tag that reads: Ned, and another has her dressed like Super Mario with a note on her chest reading: I’m not a princess, I SAVE PRINCESSES

Mrs. Jones: When have you ever selected an appropriate Halloween costume for Jellybean? Every year you dress her up in boy costumes!

Panel two: Jughead shrugs his shoulders as he doesn’t understand the problem. In her stroller, Jellybean is playing with a Cosmo The Merry Martian Doll that is wearing a phantom of the opera costume.

Mrs. Jones: It’s time you accept that you have a little sister and nothing will change that. Especially clothing.

Jughead: Maybe, but I bet I’ll make a tomboy out of her.

Panel three: Mrs. Jones is waving her arms as Jughead listens.

Mrs. Jones: Do you know how embarrassing it is when my lady friends show off their little princesses while Jellybean is a miniature hobo?

Jughead: Y’know for someone who says being a mom is a full time job; you find time to call friends and gossip.

Panel four: Mrs. Jones glares at Jughead as Jughead realizes he pushed his mother too far.

Jughead: Um, just remember, I’m your son and you love me no matter what I do or say.

Mrs. Jones: It would be much easier if you said less and did more!

Panel five: Jughead rushes out the door with Jellybean as Jellybean uses the Cosmo the Merry Phantom Doll to wave goodbye as Mrs. Jones yells at Jughead.

Jughead: Fine! If I must, I’ll make a little lady out of my little sister!

Mrs. Jones: A princess, Jughead! I want a princess!

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead and Jellybean are walking into Manny Face’s Only Costume Shop as two people dressed like zombies walk out. One of them is eating a bag of cheesy puffs while the other is carrying a teddy bear. Next door to the costume shop is Dodo Karate Dojo on the right and a small hospital clinic, on the left, where several of the battered Dodo Dojo students are heading. One has his hand half way through a wooden board, but is now stuck.

Jughead: Well, Jellybean, here we are. The local costume shop. Where you come in as you, and out as someone else.

Jughead: I should take Reggie here. It can only be an improvement.

Panel two: Two teens dressed like Freddy Kruger and Jason Vorhees walk past the Jones sibling as Freddy waves goodbye to Jellybean as Jellybean clutches her Cosmo doll close to her for protection. Jughead smiles reassuringly at Jellybean.

Jughead: Now, now, Jellybean, those aren’t real monsters. Just remember that no matter how scary someone looks in here, they’re just human beings.

Panel three: Ethel wearing Frankenstein make-up and a Many Face Costume Shop shirt happily skips towards Jughead and Jellybean as Jughead begins to shake and shiver uncontrollably.

Ethel: Juggie! How would you like to be the Husband of Frankensteina? I work here so I can get you a great discount for a smooch!

Pane four: A shot outside of the costume shop as Jughead screams inside. The karate students clear out of the Dodo Dojo and patients in wheelchairs and crutches rush out of the clinic in response to Jughead’s scream.

Jughead in costume shop: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

Panel five: Back inside of the costume shop, Jughead has ducked behind the stroller and is using Jellybean as a shield as he crotches down.

Ethel: How about a hug?

Jughead: How about a long distance call?

Fan Fiction / Jughead in Scary Good Food
« on: October 28, 2014, 01:01:21 AM »
Page 1

Panel one: Jughead is walking towards the Chocklit Shop as it has been decorated for Halloween with a giant banner over the door reading: HALLOWEEN BURGERS—GET THEM BEFORE THEY EXPIRE! Under the lettering is a picture of a ghost, witch, and jack-o-lantern, each on a bun. On the windows of the Chocklit Shop is a chalk drawn graveyard with a figure of Pop Tate sitting on a grave marked for Segarini. Segarini is walking away from the window in a huff as his response to the drawing. On the sidewalk several children are walking like Frankenstein’s monster as they follow their mom whose hair resembles the Bride of Frankenstein to the surprise of several onlookers.

Jughead:  Halloween Burgers? Weird. Pop usually avoids these gimmicks and let’s his food speak for itself.

Jughead: But if his burgers want to say “boo” who am I to protest?

Panel two: Jughead is sitting on his stool at the counter with his body positioned towards the left so he is not facing up front and cannot see who is in front of him.

Jughead: A Halloween burger to scare my hunger away!

Panel three: Jughead’s eyes light up in concern as a female hand places a plate with a burger

Off-panel: Not a problem, Juggers. In fact, I already anticipated your arrival and order.

Jughead: That voice. That’s the voice of evil. The voice of my arch nemesis—

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead turns his head to see Trula Twyst wearing a Pop Tate apron and identical hat standing over the grill and smiling down at him. On the grill are several burgers shaped like ghosts, witches, and jack-o-lanterns. Trula is flipping a ghost burger over as Pop Tate, sporting a cast on his hand and wrist, looks on and nods in a approval.

Jughead: --TRULA TWYST?!

Jughead: Pop! Her cooking your burgers is worse than a blind date with Madam Satan! What’s going on!?

Panel two: Jughead stands up and points at Pop Tate as he demands to know what Trula is doing working the grill as Pop Tate shows Jughead his cast. As they talk Trula is handing Archie and Veronica each a plate with burgers and fries.

Pop Tate: I slipped while mopping up and broke my wrist. Trula volunteered to help, and she’s been doing a great job.

Jughead: Pop! How could you do that!?

Panel three: Trula turns to talk to Jughead as she puts more fries in the deep fryer as Jughead yells back at her.

Trula: Most cleaning chemicals are slippery when wet, Juggers. If you did chores, you might know that!

Jughead: I’ve watched my mom do plenty of housework to know that, smart aleck!

Panel four: Jughead points at his burger as Pop Tate shrugs his shoulder.

Jughead: I’m talking about letting that evil red haired entity besmirching this holy burger sanctuary!

Pop Tate: Jughead, she’s done a great job. The burgers are up to par and she even came up with the Halloween Burger gimmick.

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead turns to Trula as Trula smiles and closes her eyes as she acts all innocent as she hands Moose a triple decker Halloween Burger as he licks his lips in anticipation. Standing next to him is Midge, who simple takes a plate of salad.

Jughead: Did she now…?

Panel two: Jughead points at his burger as he demands to know what Trula is trying to pull.

Jughead: What’s the angle, Twyst?

Trula: Simple enough. I saw this as a great opportunity to witness Food Psychology, how food affects our behavior and identifies hidden depths.
Panel three: Trula continues to explain as Jughead begins to take the top bun off his burger as he goes to examine his burger patty. Pop Tate is listening to Trula and actually seems intrigued.

Trula: For example, you have a plate of pasta and salad, and a person who worries about calories and an athlete wanting to gain muscle would have different responses.

Trula: Another example pertaining to yourself, Juggers: Your favorite burgers, the same recipe, only with a different cook. How do you react?

Panel four: Jughead pushes the plate back away from him as he gives his response to a perplexed Pop Tate and a not surprised Trula as Trula curls her lips and rolls her eyes as her reply.

Jughead: I react by questioning why would I want a witch on a bun coming from a witch behind the grill?

Panel five: Jughead turns away and folds his arms as he refuses to have anything to do with Trula’s burger.

Jughead: I refuse to even nibble on anything that viper has spewed her venom on!

Page 4

Panel one: Pop Tate motions to the other teens eating in the diner as Carla, Chloe, and Sheila are eating their burgers. As Carla is eating she is swatting away Prankenstein’s hand as he tries to walk by and snatch a few French fries from her plate. Sitting further down the counter Midge looks in shock as Moose was trying to eat his triple decker Halloween burger in one bite and now it’s stuck in his mouth.

Pop Tate: Jughead, you’re being ridiculous! Just look! Everyone is enjoying the burgers! I haven’t seen a single unhappy customer!

Panel two: Jughead clenches his mouth shut, shakes his head, and points at the burger.

Panel three: Jughead then points a finger at Trula and sticks a finger down his throat and acts like he is throwing up.

Panel four: Pop Tate is point at the door as he has become tired with Jughead’s attitude, Trula teasingly waves goodbye as Jughead leers at her with total disdain.

Pop Tate: That’s it! If that’s your attitude and you’re not going to eat, then you can just leave and loiter somewhere else!

Panel five: Jughead is halfway outside the door as he prepares to slam the door behind him as several small kids look at him in confusion as they play with their burgers and the patties.

Jughead: Fine! Until that female Freud is not standing behind the counter, I’ll take my tab to another establishment!


Page 5

Panel one: Pop Tate sighs as he leans against the counter as Trula flips a burger on her spatula as she motions with her head at the edge of the counter that has a sheet that reads: JUGHEAD’S TAB that stretches all the way to the ground.
Pop Tate: Sigh. There goes my number one customer…!

Trula: Interesting. I always believed a key requirement for the number one customer would be to pay for his food.

Panel two: Pop Tate turns to talk to Trula as he motions towards several tables that are happily eating.

Pop Tate: I know he’s a mooch, but he’s a mooch that gives my modest fast food establishment rave reviews that brings in the hungry stomachs!

Panel three: Pop Tate leans his head on the counter as he is worried that his business will taper off.

Pop Tate: Segarini is probably coming up with his own gimmick to compete with mine, and Jughead will find his way there and the sheep will follow leaving me with an empty pasture!

Panel four: Trula puts a reassuring hand on Pop Tate’s shoulder.

Trula: Not if you have the ultimate sells pitch that collaborates perfectly with the season.

Panel five: Pop Tate stands up straight as he talks with Trula as Trula is all smiles

Pop Tate: What sells pitch? Jughead refuses to eat food and everyone will think the food is bad!

Panel six: Trula smirks as he eyes narrow as she has a devious plan obviously brewing in her mind.

Trula: That’s one interpretation, but I have a much more profitable one in mind.

Fan Fiction / Betty & Veronica in The Legend of Scary Mary.
« on: October 04, 2014, 12:44:41 AM »

Page 1 (all black and white save for mentioned colors and the last panel)

Panel one: The time setting is the 1920s as we see from behind the head of a blond haired girl with blond hair going to her lower back and is wearing a flapper dress as she walks down a street. A teenage newsie along with a grown man in black coat and top hat stare at Mary with hearts in their eyes; the man’s wife does not approve as she is about to hit him with her purse. On the road two Ford Model T’s have wrecked but both male drivers don’t care as they look at Mary with hearts over their heads.

Caption: The story goes that Mary Delmont was the most beautiful girl in Riverdale who no one could resist.

Panel two: A close up back shot of Mary brushing her hair as she sits at her dresser stand with a giant mirror attachment. Her reflection cannot be seen as a small red, yellow, and orange light illuminates brightly in the mirror. Mary doesn’t react to it as she’s more focused on herself.

Caption. This made Mary vain. She would spend hours on end just looking into a mirror, oblivious to the rest of the world.

Panel three: A further back behind the back shot of Mary as she is dressed like a princess and sitting at the dresser stand as she is looking into the mirror and brushing her hair without a care in the world, even though we can see in the background her bedroom is on fire (including her bed). Her clothing consists of a pink and purple dress with sleeves that go to her elbows, long white gloves that cover up the rest of her arms, white stockings, and white overshoes. Her clothing covers up all of her body. On the dresser counter is a tiara  and a porcelain mask with etched in lips as the only detail in the otherwise blank white mask. The mask is propped up against the mirror so it looks like it is watching everything that is happening

Caption: At a Halloween party the Delmont’s hosted, a fire broke out.

Caption: Everyone was evacuated, save for Mary.

Panel four: A shot of the comb and mask on the drawer as the brush is burning and the mask is seemingly looking at Mary burning off-panel as bright orange, yellow, and red light reflect on the mask. The tiara is beginning to melt as a small flame melts it to slag.

Caption: And by the time she noticed the flames, it was far, far too late.

Panel five: A shot of the old Delmont Mansion as it stands up on a hill, overlooking all of Riverdale and all the grass and trees leading up to the mansion are small, lean, barren and dying as a swirling wind kicks up dead leaves and blows out the rusty, open black wrought iron gates to the mansion. The Mansion is in gothic design with arched broken or cracked windows and etched in mythical creatures all along the three floors of the mansion foundation A Delmont D Emblem over the double main door entrance of the mansion. Eight visible chimneys, a visible skylight. The foundation is brick, concrete, and limestone. Very similar to The Breakers.  The mansion has been burnt and the foundation has been heavily cracked and broken. The D emblem has been cracked in two. All the creatures etched into the mansion foundation look viscous. Four of the chimneys have broken off and remain on the roof of the mansion or fallen to the ground below. The skylight of the mansion is broken in various spots.

Caption: But it’s said that Mary is still there. Watching and waiting for someone to enter the abandoned mansion so she can replace the face she lost that Halloween night….

Page 2

Panel one: The setting is Miss Grundy’s history classroom. A shot of Betty, Veronica, Ethel, and Chloe standing in front of a long wooden table with a diorama and 3/4th poster board on it. The diorama is of Delmont mansion with a three-fourths poster board around the diorama with the left side having various drawings of a teenage girl shadow wearing a porcelain mask. The middle has the title THE LEGEND OF SCARY MARY and under it various pictures of the actual mansion. The right side of the poster board has a small newspaper article and the following poem written out:

Mary, Mary life of joy;
Mary, Mary kiss the boys.
Scary Mary lost her face,
Scary Mary must replace.
Enter her home, no one to blame,
When your face Scary Mary claims!

Betty is up front of Ms. Grundy’s classroom as she is finishing up her speech while Ethel is handing out a scrapbook titled Scary Mary to Ginger. Nancy is behind Ginger and is looking over Ginger’s shoulder to see the scrapbook. Chloe is standing next to the card board and is taking a picture of it with a digital camera while Veronica is holding up a replicaof the porcelain mask as she flirts with Archie. The mask is missing the etched in lips of the true Scary Mary mask. Behind the girls, the marker reads: RIVERDALE LOCAL HISTORY WEEK. Sitting in the front row next to Ginger is Cheryl Blossom who does not look the least bit impressed as she has her elbow on her desk and rest her head on her hand palm. Ms. Grundy is standing by her desk as she looks on approvingly. On her desk is a pumpkin and an apple; both have worms coming out the top of each fruit only with the pumpkin worm sticking its tongue out to mock the apple worm. The walls of the classroom are decorated with various Halloween cut outs.  Hanging from the ceiling of the classroom are orange and black bats.

Betty: And that is our presentation on The Legend of Scary Mary.

Miss Grundy: Very well done girls.

Panel two: Cheryl turns to Ginger and chastises the presentation as Veronica looks down at her. Ginger jumps back in her seat as a pop-up of Scary Mary jumps off a page of the scrapbook and scares her. Nancy chuckles in response.

Cheryl: Yeah. Like anyone believes that there is some ugly girl wearing a mask in Riverdale!

Panel three: Veronica tosses the porcelain mask at Cheryl and quips at her as Cheryl grits her teeth and leers at Veronica. Ginger, while passing the scrapbook behind her, tries hard not to laugh while Chloe takes a picture of Cheryl.

Veronica: Here. Why wait until Halloween to make us believers, Cheryl.

Page 3

Panel one: Cheryl stands up as she slams the mask down on her desk as she points at the marker board behind the girls. All the girls react in a “well, here she goes again,” as they frown.

Cheryl: This wasn’t even the assignment!  We’re supposed to report on local history, not tell a ghost story!

Panel two: Miss Grundy walks towards Cheryl as she motions towards the diorama and the poster board as Betty and Ethel gather with Veronica and Chloe.

Miss Grundy: Cheryl, legends have basis in reality. The Delmont family were prominent fixtures of Riverdale, dating back to the Civil War.

Panel three: Ginger holds up her hand as she wants to ask a question.

Miss Grundy: Ginger.

Ginger: You said “were”. What happened to the Delmonts?

Panel four: Cheryl holds the mask near her face and mockingly acts like Scary Mary as Ginger turns towards her, slightly annoyed.

Cheryl: Weren’t you listening? Scary Mary scared them off!

Panel five: Miss Grundy turns towards Betty and the rest of her group.

Miss Grundy: Betty  maybe you and your group can shed light on this inquiry?

Panel six: Ethel points at a newspaper clipping just under the Scary Mary rhyme as it shows a picture of the Delmont mansion as it was in the 20s.

Ethel: Just this one newspaper article saying they left without warning is all we could find, Miss Grundy.

Page 4

Panel one: Nancy holds up her hand as Miss Grundy calls on her.

Miss Grundy: Yes, Nancy?

Panel two: Nancy talks to Miss Grundy as Miss Grundy puts her right index finger at her chin and begins to think about Nancy’s question.

Nancy: Miss Grundy, what is your take on why the Delmonts leaving Riverdale?

Miss Grundy: Hmm. Well, that was a bit even before my time…

Panel three: Miss Grundy talking with the class as everyone listens to her.

Miss Grundy: My grandfather told me the Delmonts had made bad investments and fled from debt collectors and the courts.

Miss Grundy: It could possibly be that living where you daughter perished was unbearable for Mr. Delmont.

Panel four: Miss Grundy looks over at the poster board and diorama as Betty, Veronica, Ethel, and Chloe follow her eyes towards the left side of the poster board where the pictures of Scary Mary are.

Miss Grundy: All logical assumptions—but for the life of me I can’t help but think of one simple verse from Hamlet the more I reflect on the question--

Panel five: A close up on the drawing of Scary Mary with the main focus being the dark, black eyes.

Caption: “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, than dreamt in our philosophy.”

Page 5

Panel one: Betty, Veronica, Chloe, and Ethel are walking out of the classroom as the bell has rung to end class and everyone is making there way up and down the hall. Ethel is in deep thought as Chloe notices. Veronica is stroking her hair as she waves goodbye to Archie who is about to run into an open locker door as a teenage boy is putting up his books for the day. Betty is still pumped about the presentation and how it went as she is all smiles.

Betty: Good job, everyone! We really earned that A!

Veronica: Of course. Brains and Beauty.

Panel two: Chloe turns to Ethel as Ethel replies.

Chloe: What’s wrong, Ethel?

Ethel: I was just thinking…

Panel three: Ethel is talking with the girls as they all listen. In the background, Mr. Weatherbee and Svenson are carrying an unconscious Archie on a stretcher away to get medical help. Archie has large bump on his forehead.

Ethel: That Scary Mary is real.

Panel four: Betty, Veronica, and Chloe’s eyes light up and they try to fight off the giggles in nearly the same manner with their hands over their mouths as their cheeks are puffed out.

Panel five: Betty, Veronica, and Chloe burst into laughter as Ethel is taken by surprise.

Betty, Veronica, and Chloe: HA HA HA HA!!

Panel six:  Betty is trying to apologize as Ethel grumbles, folds her arms across her chest, and turns away from the group. Veronica is wiping a tear from her eye as Chloe is bent over clutching her ribs.

Betty: Heh. Sorry, Ethel. You (snort) just took us by surprise!

Page 6

Panel one: Ethel is defending herself as Betty has stopped laughing and is listening to Ethel.

Ethel: What about that picture that Chloe took of the Delmont Mansion?

Betty: What about it?

Panel two: Ethel shrugs her shoulders as she didn’t know that no one else noticed what she did in the picture. Betty tilts her head in confusion as Veronica looks over at Chloe as Chloe is going into her pocket for her digital camera.

Ethel: There was something looking out one of the second story windows.

Chloe: I didn’t delete the pictures, so let’s just take a quick look.

Panel three: Chloe is looking into her digital camera as the girls crowd around her to look. In the background we can see Cheryl Blossom and Ginger looking on with Cheryl seemingly far more interested. Cheryl has a small bookpack over her right shoulder.

Chloe: Just let me get to the file, there’s the picture…let’s see if I can zoom, fix the pixilation a bit. And—

Chloe: Huh.

Panel four: A close-up on the digital camera screen as it seems like a white porcelain mask is looking out the window. The picture is still blurry and distorted so some question can be asked if that is a mask.

Betty off-panel: Okay, that is kinda creepy.

Panel five: Cheryl has a smirk across her face as she walks towards the girls while giving a confused Ginger her bookpack. In the background a teenager is unhappily looking at his closed locker door that has a face imprint of Archie on it.

Veronica: What’s creepy about it? It’s just light reflecting off the window.

Page 7

Panel one: Cheryl is talking to the group of girls as Veronica turns and snarls at her. The other girls are much more cordial.

Cheryl: My, my, what are the local paranormal investigators of Riverdale High gossiping about?

Veronica: None of your business.

Panel two: Ethel, ignoring Veronica’s previous comment, cheerfully replies as Veronica groans as she knows this is going to give Cheryl fuel to continue pestering them.

Ethel: We were just trying to decide if this picture was a ghost!

Veronica: Sigh.

Panel three: Cheryl Blossom snatches the camera out of Chloe’s hands as she begins to look through the images.

Cheryl: Sounds like you need a second opinion! Let’s look at all of your pictures!

Panel four: Cheryl tosses the digital camera heedlessly back at Chloe as Chloe has to duck and dive from stopping it from landing on the floor. Veronica continues to give Cheryl a death glare as Betty and Ethel are puzzled by Cheryl’s remark.

Cheryl: I don’t know if that’s a picture of a ghost, but it’s easy to see that you all believe in ghosts.

Betty: What do you mean by that, Cheryl?

Panel five: Cheryl is stretching out her arms to show off the inside of the school building to illustrate her point. Chloe lets out a sigh of relief that she saved her camera while the rest of the girls are focused on Cheryl.

Cheryl: It’s simple. All of those pictures are from outside of the Delmont Mansion.

Panel six: Cheryl is stroking her hair and striking a pose to further bait Veronica as Veronica has her fists balled to the point veins can be seen. The rest of the girls are irritated but not to the extent of Veronica.

Cheryl Blossom: Ergo, you all obviously believe in Scary Mary and didn’t want to risk losing your face.

Cheryl Blossom: Of course some of you—Veronica—needn’t have worried so.

Page 8

Panel one; Veronica gets right at Cheryl’s face and goes nose to nose with her. Cheryl still has her confident smile and a twinkle in her eyes as she is not affected by Veronica’s declarations.

Veronica: One. There are no such things as ghosts! So there is nothing in that mansion to be afraid of!

Veronica: Two. If she were real, Scary Mary would beg to have my face! Plead even!

Panel two: Cheryl leans into Veronica’s face and challenges her as Veronica does not back down.

Cheryl: If you’re so certain, why don’t we make a little wager?

Panel three: Cheryl points at Veronica, Betty, Chloe and Ethel as she issues the challenge. Veronica stands in front of the other girls who turn to each other and do not like this challenge at all.

Cheryl: If you and you friends can go all through Delmont Mansion, I’ll give you all my boyfriends I have scheduled for the next four weeks!

Cheryl: You lose, and Archie Andrews is all mine for the next four weeks!

Panel four: Betty tries to say no, but Veronica reaches back and puts a hand over her mouth.

Betty: Our Archie! Then the answer is---mpphhhhhh!

Veronica: You’re on!

Panel five: Cheryl Blossom walks away confidently as Veronica shakes a fist in her direction as Betty, shaking her head to signal no, is trying to pull Veronica’s hand off her mouth with both arms while Chloe and Ethel look on nervously.

Cheryl: Let’s make it Halloween night.

Veronica: Fine by us!

Betty: Mmphhnn mmmphnn!!

All About Archie / Heartwarming moments.
« on: August 27, 2014, 03:37:58 PM »
Stories where someone did something supper nice or pulled at the heart strings.

One story had Beazly fix something so horrible that Jughead couldn't eat it and him and Reggie poked fun at her. Seeing how upset it made her, Archie ate a plate--got him sick, but he still did the right thing.


Fan Fiction / Archie and Friends in The Ice Bucket Challenge!
« on: August 21, 2014, 07:49:02 PM »
Page one:

Panel one: Inside of the Lodge Living Room as Archie, Jughead, Betty, Veronica, and Reggie are watching the Lodge seventy inch TV as it is showing Josie and the Pussycats and Katy Keene participating in the ALS Ice Bucket challenge as Madhouse Glads are toweling off after already taking the challenge. Fran the Fan is up on a step ladder as she pours the ice cold bucket of water on Katy Keene who takes it in stride. Betty, Archie, Reggie and Veronica are sitting on a sofa while Jughead is sitting on the ground eating a bucket of popcorn. Archie and Reggie are wide-eyed as they watch Katy Keene get water poured on her. Betty doesn’t notice Archie and Reggie while Veronica scowls at the two. Jughead doesn’t pay it any mind as he just watches the TV.

Betty: Wow, can you believe how popular the ALS Ice Bucket challenge has become!

Archie and Reggie: We can believe!

Veronica: Forget ice water, I know two people who will be in hot water if they don’t close their jaws and blink their eyes!

Panel two: Betty is talking as the rest of the gang look towards her as she is all smiles and points at the TV as Josie is now having the ice water poured down her back. Jughead is flipping popcorn into his mouth as he quips. Veronica sneers at him in response.

Betty: Why don’t we do an ice bucket challenge here in Riverdale?

Jughead: Because Veronica might melt.

Panel three: Betty is standing up as she pumps her fists and becomes ultra motivated as she tries to get the rest of the gang to join in on her idea. As she is talking Veronica is stretching over Reggie to kick Jughead in the back of the head as Reggie looks on with a smirk. Archie is agreeing with Betty.

Betty: C’mon, we can do it! We can round up our friends and families and do our part!

Archie: I’m with Betty. Every dollar we can raise only helps with research and to find a cure.

Page 2

Panel one: Veronica, hoping to steal Betty’s thunder, is standing up and has her right arm around Betty’s shoulder as Betty looks at the boys as they all smile and seem to be onboard. Reggie is patting Jughead on the head as he pretty much is telling who his target for the ice challenge will be. Archie rolls his eyes at Reggie.

Veronica: And we can have it right here! We can make a party of it. Food, drinks, games, and I’m sure we can think of other activities to gather up money for ALS!

Reggie: Sounds likes a good time. And I know who I’m going to challenge right off the bat.

Jughead: What else can I expect from a drip?

Panel two: Betty turns to Veronica as she is concerned that maybe Veronica’s parents might not approve of such an extravagant event Veronica is planning. Veronica laughs it off as she seems overly confident that she knows her parents will be fine with it.

Betty: But, Ronnie, this is all of a sudden and we’re planning some pretty big things. Do you think your parents will be okay with it?

Veronica: Betty, dear Betty, just leave it to me. I know how to handle my parents.

Panel three: A shot of Veronica on her knees with her hands enclosed as she is begging her parents to let her have the Ice Bucket Challenge party. The rest of the group looks on with shame at the display. Betty is face palming while Reggie is looking up and rolling his eyes. Jughead is looking at Archie in a “really” body expression as Archie feigns a smile and shrugs his shoulders up to his ears. Mr. and Mrs. Lodge look slightly amused.

Veronica: …And that’s when we decided we wanted to make a big event of it! To help donate more money to the ALS Association. Please Please Please! It’s for a good cause!!

Panel four: Mr. And Mrs. Lodge roll their eyes over at each other and smile as Veronica looks up hopefully.

Panel five: Mr. and Mrs. Lodge both nod in approval as Veronica leaps for joy as the rest of the gang celebrates with her.

Mrs. Lodge: Veronica, we think it’s wonderful that you want to help and want to involve all your friends and the community.

Mr. Lodge: We’ll help furnish the food, water, ice, and buckets, but I expect you and your rag tag crew to make up games and other events that could help raise money.

Panel six: Archie’s hair stands up on end as Mr. Lodge is right behind him and sneering at him.

Mr. Lodge: Besides, I’m looking forward to issuing a few challenges of my own, and I’m itching to try out my Artic Ice Maker 5000.

Archie: Eep.

Page 3

Panel one: A high angle view of the Lodge backyard, which is several acres, as it looks like a small carnival has been set up. From the high angle view we can see various booths and lines leading to step ladders as teens and adults wait in line to have a bucket of water dropped on them.  Next to one line ( the line having Vic, Simon Silverstein, Akira, and Nick St. Clair as Marcy is on the step ladder as Juanita hands her a bucket) is Carol Norita and Chuck as they are sitting in chairs and drawing caricatures of the splashed teens. Another line has Kumi, Ethel, Rob and a screeching Shrill as Tomoko pours the water down her back. Next to Tomoko, Raj is filming the entire thing. The last line has Harper, Wendy Weatherbee, Lonnie Eastman and a being splashed Googie Gilmore as Kevin Keller is on the step ladder doing the honor. Sherry Thyme is next to Kevin as she is doing cheers to motivate the others. One booth has Nancy and Carlos sitting at a table as they paint the buckets of Adam and Randy. Another booth has Ginger as she has a stand of highly decorative towels as a wet Bobbi Suarez and Sayid Jamall Ali pay for a towel. An ice cream eating contest booth is in place as Chunk, Jughead, and Toni Topaz are competing as The Twitters are tweeting about it to each other; each has a large bucket of ice cream that they are diving their heads into. There is a booth selling buckets for two dollars that is being manned by Cricket O’Dell (sniffing money with her free hand) as she sells one to Jinx Malloy, Jinx’s bucket immediately falls apart much to his dismay. Close by are the Blossom twins with a bucket of water and decorated buckets as they point and yell at each other. At a band set up, Frankie, Maria, and Bridgette are rehearsing as Carla Teal, Chloe, and Sandy Sanchez listen on. Close by Sheila Wu is groaning as Simon Silverstein has fake glasses and spring eyes sticking out. At a burger stand Tono and Pop Tate are flipping burgers as Moose and Midge wait for theirs; Gaston has a table of elegant food decked out on a table as no one is eating his food and he looks enviously at Pop Tate and Tono. Dani Malloy is working on connecting a water hose to Q-Tee as Trula and Dilton look on. Various family members, Riverdale faculty, and various other adults are walking around enjoying talking with one another. In other words anyone you remember imagine being there for the Ice Bucket Challenge. In the middle of it all is Archie, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica as they are really proud of all they have accomplished. Before entering the backyard is a banner hung on two large wooden poles reading: RIVERDALE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE! At a booth just before entering is Smithers taking up money and welcoming guests inside.

Archie: Wow, it’s amazing what a few days and lots of friends can do!

Panel two: Archie, Betty, Reggie, and Veronica are looking around as they try to find Jughead. Archie has his hand over his eye as he tries to for Jughead as Reggie just waves him off. Veronica scoffs as she obviously has seen Jughead.  Dani and Dilton are running away spraying them with cold water and ice cubes as Trula looks on with a smile as she made it out dry.

Archie: Say, where is Jughead?  He said he’d meet us here.

Veronica: Hmph. I should have known…

Panel three: Jughead is walking way from the ice cream eating contest as he has obviously won as he has various ice cream flavors on his face and shirt. At the table Chunk and Toni Topaz are collapsed on the table and holding their heads as they have a major case of head freeze. The Twitters are using their phones to record Chunk and Toni as a wet Wendy Weatherbee and Vic look on in confusion. Jughead is proudly heading towards his friends as a winner. Archie and Betty are proud of him as Veronica is sticking her tongue out and pointing a finger into her mouth. Reggie is sneaking off panel as he has a wicked look in his eyes.

Jughead: I scream, you scream, I scream for someone to get more ice cream!!

Betty: Wow. Congratulations Jughead!

Archie: Way to go, Jug.

Veronica: Ack!

Panel four: Reggie is sneaking behind Jughead on his tip toes holding a water bucket as he prepares to splash Jughead across the back of the neck. Archie and Betty try to warn Jughead, but Veronica covers each of their mouths with one of her hands as she feigns interest in what Jughead is saying. Jughead tilts his head to his right as he knows something is up with Veronica.

Veronica: Er, I mean…that’s very quant. Tell us more about your win—while looking directly at us.

Panel five: Reggie is splashing Jughead across the back with the ice cold bucket of water as Jughead’s eyes bulge up and he begins to shake all over.

Reggie: Hah! I be all that ice cream’s got you thirsty, goofball! Have a sip of nice cold water!!

Jughead: ACK!

Jughead: Colder than a female’s kiss in the artic circle!!

Page 4

Panel one: Archie and Betty protest as Reggie tosses the bucket over his shoulder as he is proud of his work. Jughead has his arms folded over his chest and is shivering as he leers at Reggie. Veronica looks on and chuckles.

Betty: That’s not how it works, Reggie!
Archie: Yeah, you’re supposed to challenge Jughead, not just sneak up on him!

Panel two: Reggie waves them off he is nonchalant about the rules. Jughead is wringing out his hat as he scowls at Reggie.

Reggie: We shouldn’t let details get in the way of charity!

Panel three: Jughead points a finger at Reggie’s chest as Reggie scoffs as he doesn’t take Jughead’s challenge seriously as he is full of himself.

Jughead: Yeah. Well, now that I’ve done my part, I can challenge someone. And that someone is you!

Reggie: Pffft. Who would want to dump a bucket of ice cold water on the greatest human alive? I’m a teen idol, a future legend!

Panel four: Reggie is yelling behind Jughead and the gang as Harper, Kevin Keller, Kumi, Bobbi Suarez, and Lonnie listen in as they all have a bucket of water. Raj is filming the Blossom kids water bucketing the other as he looks over at Reggie.

Reggie: Hey! I just got challenged by snout nose! Can you guys believe how dumb he is or what?!

Panel five: Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead look on as Kevin Keller, Kumi, Harper, Bobbi Suarez and Lonnie Eastman begin to chase after Reggie as they all are prepared to splash him. Harper has her bucket on her lap as she speeds along in her wheelchair just behind everyone else. Behind her, Raj is following behind to film everything. Archie shakes his head while Veronica face palms. Betty winces as she can imagine that much ice water won’t fell good, while Jughead looks proudly on with a smile from ear to ear.

Archie: It is amazing how stupid some people are.

Jughead: Now, now, Arch. It’s for charity.

Page 5

Panel one: Archie and Veronica are confronted by Cheryl Blossom and Jason Blossom as they are being challenged by the twins as Betty looks on as Jughead begins to walk away unnoticed. Archie has hearts over his head as he stares lovingly at Cheryl, completely oblivious to the insult coming from Cheryl.

Cheryl: Well, well, the queen of the townies and her freckled face boy toy!

Veronica: Cheryl, it’s amazing how you can be just as dirty after a bucket of water is poured on as you were before.
Panel two: Jason points at Veronica and Archie as they reluctantly begin to follow along. Cheryl motions at Veronica to follow her along as she mocks Veronica who scowls, but does comply. Betty seems disappointed as she was expecting to come along.

Jason: Funny, Lodge. Consider both of you challenged!

Veronica: Fine. Let’s go find Raj, so it’s recorded and get it over with.

Betty: What about me? I wanna be challenged!

Panel three: Jason has hearts over his eyes as he timidly talks to  Betty as Betty is  disappointed and confused. Veronica and Archie walk ahead arm in arm as Veronica waves goodbye at Betty. Cheryl is becoming impatient with Jason.

Jason: Gee, B-b-betty. I could never, ever have you drenched. You’re an angle—er I mean, angel and the water might dampen you…you’re wings and—you’ll fall in love…and….

Panel four: Cheryl grabs Jason by the ear as she snarls at him and his face tightens as he is in an incredible amount of pain.

Cheryl: Would you c’mon? It’s bad enough you drenched your own better-than-you sister, but you are not making me wait too!!

Panel five: Betty looks on dejectedly as she is watching Archie and Veronica kiss as The Blossom Twins each pour a bucket of water on the two. Raj is filming the entire thing as Q-Tee is using his hose to splash Mr. Adams and Ms. Lauriette as Rob is showing off his painted bucket. Danni looks on and apologizes to the teachers.

Page 6

Panel one: Betty turns around to find that Jughead is missing. Walking past her is the Riverdale Bulldog mascot carrying a giant dog bowl of ice and water on one side while Ms. Ganesh, Mr. Fine, and Ms. Ashton walk past her as Svenson is carrying a step ladder and a bucket just behind the three new teachers.

Betty: Guess I’m talking to myself.

Panel two: Betty is looking walking over to where Pop Tate and Gaston have stationed their food as she is surprised not to see Jughead. The group that chased after Reggie are getting a burger from Pop Tate as Gaston is motioning with his arms for some of the kids to come over to his table, but they do not see him. Reggie is standing off from the others, dripping wet, as he glares and grinds his teeth at Sayid who is offering him a glass of water.

Betty: Jughead not eating?

Betty: What motivation could be so great that it trumps Jughead’s insatiable hunger?

Panel three: Cut to Trula Twyst using a cellphone to record Midge as she is being splashed by Adam who uneasily looks at Moose who is cracking his knuckles and has a stern expression on his face.. Jughead is tapping Trula across the shoulder to get her attention with his left hand while his right hand has a bucket of water filled to the brink with ice and very little water

Trula: Juggers?

Jughead: Trula, you ever wonder what it feels like to be challenged to be part of something greater than yourself?

Jughead: You’re about to find out.

Panel four: Trula puts her cellphone up as she turns her back to Jughead and spreads out her arms and lowers her head. Jughead is letting ice cubes fall out of his hands and into the bucket as he is relishing ever second of this. Adam is running off as Moose looks on mushy eyed as Midge uses his shirt to dry off with. Raj is filming everything as he kneels down to get a better camera angle.

Trula: Fine. Have your fun.

Jughead: I’m living a moment I’m going to download a gazillion times on YouView!

Panel five: Trula is splashed across the back by Jughead as the bucket is mainly ice cubes. Trula’s teeth start to chatter and she begins to shake all over as she manages to keep her arms spread out.


Panel six: Trula turns to Jughead as she is wringing out her hair and smiles as she takes it in stride while she motions at the pile of ice cubes at her feet, Jughead sticks his tongue out at Trula as he replies.

Trula: My, my, I’m surprised you managed to fit in those drops of water in your bucket of ice!

Jughead: It’s a hot day and ice melts.

Archie's Friends / A question about the new kids.
« on: August 20, 2014, 12:44:51 PM »
Can anyone give me a idea what their personalities are like?

I've only seen a few panels that they've been in and I'm just curious. :)

Fan Fiction / Jughead in Decompression Dilemma
« on: August 15, 2014, 11:11:05 PM »

Page 1

Panel one: Jughead is sitting at the counter of Pop Tate’s as a burger is in a plate is right in front of him as he begins to salivate. In the background a teenager is about to walk into the shoppe and is about to slap a high five with a friend inside.

Jughead: Burger on the plate. Empty stomach. We’re going to switch that in just one second!

Panel two: Jughead is beginning to reach for the burger as he is still focused entirely on eating the burger. In the background the two friends have hardly moved at all as they are still several inches from slapping high five. Pretty much Jughead sans his right arm is the only person or thing moving normally through the page.

Panel three: Jughead hand has only moved slightly down as he begins to notice how slow he’s moving for some reason as he looks down at the burger. In the background the two friends have only moved another inch.

Jughead: Okay. Make that a minute.

Panel four: Jughead looks at his other hand and wiggles his fingers as is irritated at how long it is taking for his other hand to reach the burger. The friends in the background are an inch closer and needing only two more inches before their hands make contact.

Jughead: You seem to be working fine.

Panel five: Jughead is using his other hand to try and push his right hand towards the burger faster, but he only still has moved slightly. In the background the two friends are just an inch from slapping high five.

Panel six: Jughead scratches his head in confusion as he raises an eyebrow and examines his right hand as it is only a tad closer to the burger. In the background, the friends finally high five each other.

Jughead: I could have sworn Pop Tate served fast food.

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead’s hand is finally on the burger as he exclaims in joy.

Jughead: There we go! Half the battle!

Panel two: Jughead’s hand barely raises the burger off the plate as Jughead is grimacing as he is trying to move faster.

Jughead: You’ve gotta be kidding me!

Panel three: Jughead is perspiring as he is trying to move his right arm faster but to no avail. Jughead has his feet on the edge of the counter as he is trying to pull back his right arm.

Panel four: Jughead tilts his head back and screams in frustration as he still hasn’t raised the burger hardly off the plate.


Panel five: Jughead has a light bulb over his head as his eyes light up. His right hand has only still barely moved.

Panel six: Jughead begins to lower his head at the burger.

Jughead: Fine. I’ll just meet it half way!

Panel seven: Jughead’s head barely lowers to match the speed of his right hand.

Panel eight: Jughead’s head barely lowers still and everything still is moving at a slow pace.

Panel nine: Jughead looks towards the reader as his head barely lowers and his right hand still is only moving ever so slightly.

Jughead: I hope this burger doesn’t get too moldy by the time I take a bite!

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead has the burger half way to his mouth as he looks behind him to see Betty and Veronica having a conversation.

Veronica: So he said that?

Betty: He said that.

Veronica: His words?

Betty: He said that.

Panel two: Jughead continues to look on as Betty and Veronica stop and continue their conversation that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Jughead’s burger is getting a bit closer to his face cheeks as Jughead has seemingly forgotten about it.

Veronica: Wow.

Betty: I know. Wow.

Veronica: His Words?

Betty: Syllables and all.

Panel three: Jughead is becoming more irritated as Betty and Veronica are beginning to annoy him. The burger is only a few inches from Jughead’s face cheek.

Veronica: Syllables put together to make words?

Betty: Yes.

Veronica: You sure?

Betty: I’m sure.

Panel three: Betty and Veronica continue to talk as Jughead rolls his eyes. The burger is only two inches from Jughead’s face cheek.

Veronica: I can’t wait.

Betty: Me neither.

Veronica: You can’t wait?

Betty: Can you?

Veronica: I can’t either.

Panel four: Jughead turns to yell at Betty and Veronica as they both turn in surprise at Jughead. The burger is only one inch from Jughead’s face cheek as he still does not notice.

Jughead: What is wrong with you? The sun sizzle your brains!?

Jughead: Why are you talking like that? No normal person would ever talk like that!!

Panel five: Betty and Veronica wave Jughead off as they walk off panel. Jughead is taken by surprise as the burger is up against his face cheek.

Veronica: Whatever.

Betty: Whatever.

Veronica: Definitely.

Betty: Definitely whatever.

Panel six: Betty and Veronica are off-panel as Jughead rolls his eyes towards the burger.

Jughead: Oh. You finally decided to show up.

Page 4

Panel one: Jughead is letting go of the burger as it begins to drop back to the counter.

Jughead: I hate not to eat food this close to my mouth but I need to check something.

Panel two: Jughead watches as the burger has barely moved an inch as it falls back to the counter. Jughead has stretched his arms out away from the burger as he prepares to let it fall and show normal movement.

Panel three: Jughead tilts his head to the right as the burger only moves an inch closer to the counter. Jughead is rubbing his hands together to show that they are moving regularly.

Panel four: Jughead is twiddling his finger and whistling as he continues to wait patiently for the burger to drop to the counter, but it still has only moved an inch closer.

Panel six: Jughead is elbow dropping the burger with all his might, but it only moves an inch.

Panel seven: The burger is only three inches from the counter as Jughead lowers his head and tilts it sideways as he sticks his nose where the burger should land.

Panel eight: Jughead is writing on a piece of paper as sticks his tongue out to his left cheek and is focused on his writing as the burger is two inches from landing on the counter.

Jughead …And in conclusion to this five page essay, I hope to have proven how Global Warming, reality TV, and Reggie’s ego have affected gravity….

Panel nine: Jughead is fast asleep, his upper body tilted back as he looks dangerously close to falling backwards as the burger finally hits the table.

Jughead: ZZZZZZ


Page 5

Panel one: Jughead is leaving the Chocklit Shoppe as he sadly pats his stomach as he is going to have to forget about eating. A thoughtballoon coming from Jughead’s stomach has the word ANGRY in bold, red letters.

Jughead: Sorry, boy. But if we eat that burger, we’re going to miss every other meal this week!

Panel two: Jughead has his right index finger on his nose as he tilts his head back to think.

Jughead: Either someone on a higher plane than us mere mortals needs to put a new battery in his clock…

Panel three: Jughead begins to walk down the sidewalk as puts his hands in his pockets and begins to walk away from the Chocklit Shoppe.

Jugehead: ….Or our resident super brain Dilton Doiley has been mad scientisting again.

Panel four: A shot of Jughead’s right foot as it is about to take a step.

Panel five: A shot of Jughead’s right foot as it is half way to the ground.

Panel six: Jughead’s right foot hits the ground as he prepares to take a step.

Panel seven: Jughead sighs as he looks around and realizes he has not made any traction and is only beginning to walk as he looks out in the expanding streets of Riverdale to show he has a long way to go.

Jughead: This could take awhile.

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is casually walking along the sidewalk as Archie is in mid fall after tripping over his untied shoelaces. Right next to him is Reggie pointing and laughing. In the background are two stores the first store is Pam’s Pillow Parlor and the other is Mark’s Marker Market.

Panel two: Jughead stops as he analyzes the situation as he puts his hand over his mouth and examines Archie and Reggie. Archie has only moved maybe an inch as he falls and Reggie’s laugh pose remains unchanged.

Panel three: Jughead looks behind him at Pam’s Pillow Parlor and Mark’s Marker Market as he tilts his head to his left. Archie has only moved an inch more as he is only a few inches from the ground.

Panel four: Jughead begins to walk out of the foreground and into the background towards the two stores as Archie is almost about to hit the ground as Reggie continues to laugh as time still has slowed down fort them

Panel five: Jughead whistles innocently along as he tosses a black marker back and forth in his hands as Reggie now has his laughing face marked all over and Archie is only an inch from landing on six pillows placed to keep him from harm. Both Reggie and Archie are still reacting like nothing Jughead has done has happened.

Fan Fiction / The Trial of Jughead Jones
« on: August 01, 2014, 02:21:03 AM »
Page 1

Panel one: A shot from over the shoulder of a silhouette of a teenage girl talking on a cell phone, peeking from behind a building as she is watching Jughead simultaneously bend down, walk, stuffing small candy wrappers into his pocket with one hand, and using the other to eat bits of small snack sized wrapped candy left as a trail on the sidewalk as various people look on awkwardly as Jughead continues onward without hesitation. A cat and a dog both turn their heads in confusion as they are puzzled by Jughead. On the wall where the girl is spying on Jugheadt is a poster showing Samm wearing doctor gear with the headline: SAMMCARE because Samm Cares!

Teenage Girl: Greta to Mother Goose, Greta to Mother Goose. Hansel is following the trail to the gingerbread house. ETA one minute.

Panel two: Jughead continues to bend down and scoop up candy to eat as he is now getting off the sidewalk and leading to the parking lot the closed Pickens movie theater as he does not notice several teenage girls peeking from behind fences, inside garbage cans, and even a storm drain as he continues on his merry way. Jughead’s right pocket is stuffed with candy wrappers. On the pavement, children are drawing Super Duck in chalk as one kid models for the other two.

Jughead: Sans Willy Wonka obviously having a hole in his pocket, I can’t help but feel that something isn’t right.

Jughead: Like an evil presence is lurking about…

Panel three: Jughead is going inside of the theater’s open doors as he continues to follow the trail of candy like a blood hound not noticing a teenage girl peeking from the ticket booth. Next to the ticket booth are two posters. One poster is showing The Shield holding up three fingers as he stands over a defeated villain with the headline: SHIELD THREE: YIELD TO THE SHIELD and another poster has Cosmo, a fairy tale princess, a cowboy, and a luchadore in COSMO THE MERRY MARTAIN’S HAPPY FUN ADVENTURE. A sign on the theater shows the title of the story as PICKENS THEATER PRESENTS: THE TRIAL OF JUGHEAD JONES with several of the black letters tilted and about to fall off the sign.

Jughead: Eh, what’s the worse that can happen?

Page 2

Jughead is inside of the lobby with the only light coming from the open theater doors as he salivates at a small pile of snack sized candy that ends the trail of munch he has been following.

Jughead: Alright! Free candy and I don’t have to walk anymore!

Panel two: Jughead has a double mouth full of the candy in his mouth, with his cheeks puffed up and his mouth covered in chocolate, as he notices several stretching shadows overlapping him coming from just behind him.

Jughead: erp. Ulrrp.

Jughead: Those are ominous shadows. Ominous shadows are never good for the hero of the story.

Panel two: Jughead turns to see five members of the U.G.A.J. walking into the movie theater behind him as he uses his shirt sleeve to wipe his mouth as turns his body to prepare to run for his life. One is the girl spying on him from the first page the rest are from outside spying with traces of their hiding places still on them.

Jughead: Yikes! It’s that annoying coven! The U.G.A.J.!

Caption: United Girls Against Jughead for all you fans of acronyms.

Panel three: Jughead turns and prepares to run as he is stopped in midstep as four more members of the U.G.A.J. are right in front of him, two of the females are holding rope and the tallest is cracking her knuckles as she gives Jughead the evil eye. Another has a chair with wheels prepared to place Jughead in.

Jughead: I have this sinking feeling that I might have fallen into a trap.

Tallest U.G.A.J/Diana.: Kersplat.

Panel four: Jughead is backing off as the U.G.A.J. members surround him as Jughead has his palms thrust forward as he feigns a smile and tries to calm the situation down. The two members of the U.G.A.J. begin stretching to their rope out as they prepare to tie Jughead up while the one with the chair is slapping the seat to show where Jughead will be going in a few seconds.

Jughead: Okay, okay, I want you all to take a deep breath, think about your favorite boy band and calm down to where you’re only as crazy as the typical teenage girl!

Panel five: In a smoke cloud the U.G.A.J. pounce on Jughead as they attempted to subdue him. We can see various Jugheads trying to escape but being pulled back into the smoke cloud, a U.G.A.J. member twirling the rope like a lasso, a teddy bear, a club sandwich, and a comic book being flung from the smoke cloud and one member of the U.G.A.J. sticking her head out and looking confused as she notices she has Jughead’s hat on somehow during the skirmish.





Page 3

Panel one: Jughead is tied up and wheeled into one the movie theater rooms. Sitting on one side is twelve U.G.A.J. members (the jury) as they give death glares at Jughead. On the other side twenty members sit as they hold up various anti-Jughead signs. In front of Jughead is a table and to his side is another table only with a U.G.A.J member wearing a suit, skirt, glasses, blond hair, and cold, harsh blue eyes as she looks at Jughead with utter disdain (Her name is Cynthia). At her table are five extremely filled to the brink of exploding folders each labeled  Evidence A-G, H-M, O-P, Q-U, and V-#2,231. In front of the two tables is a podium for a judge with a pink My Puny Pony gravel. Next to the podium is a makeshift stand with a chair place for the witnesses. Jughead is thrashing about in the chair as he tries to escape as Diana struggles to push him along. A U.G.A.J. member is walking on panel as she is putting on a police hat and unfolding a long list. Behind the courtroom set up is a movie screen that, save for a few tears, is still in working condition. 

Jughead: You do know there are laws against this sort of thing, right?

Diana: Shut up. We’re the judge, jury, and executioners, spout nose.

Panel two: Jughead twists his head in confusion as he looks back at Diana A U.G.A.J. member with brown hair and wearing a judge robe is walking up to Jughead along with the one dressed as a bailiff with her list completely unfolded as she stands by the judge.

Jughead: What are you talking about?

Judge: Please read the defendant his crimes, bailiff.

Panel three: The Bailiff reads Jughead his crimes as Jughead glares at them in disgust.

U.G.A.J. bailiff: You, Forsythe Pendleton Jones the 3rd-best known as Jughead-- are charged with being a brute, being rude to all females, never opening the door for a lady, constantly being a bad example to all of our boyfriends, never dating, never saying nice things about our hair, eating with your mouth open in our prescence, and once using a fashion magazine to swat a fly.

Judge: How do you plead?

Jughead: Something like this:

Panel four: Jughead is thrashing in his chair as two members of the U.G.A.J. hold his arms and chest and two hold his thrashing legs as he tilts his head and screams at the top of his lungs. Diana is drawing her hand back, reading to smack Jughead across the back of his head. The prosecuting U.G.A.J. member (Cynthia) shakes her head at Jughead’s display with abhorrence as she looks over her notes.


Page 4

Panel one: Diana slaps Jughead across the back of his head to calm him down. Jughead’s eyes bulge and his hat nearly flies off his head and a thought balloon showing a calendar with a day marked as his father’s birthday is cracked in two to show that she hit him so hard Jughead can’t remember his dad’s birthday.

Panel two: Jughead winces as he smart mouths at Diana as several U.G.A.J. members hold Diana back from thrashing Jughead. The Judge is reaching over and banging her gavel on the podium to regain order in the court. Jughead is turning his head to his left and right to try and adjust his hat back in the proper place.

Jughead: Ow! You nasty amazon ruffian! You nearly broke my skull!

Diana: I’ll break your neck!


Judge: That’s enough! All of you!

Panel three: Jughead is nonchalantly looking at the Judge as she stands beside the podium with the bailiff to her side, whom is enjoying her new hat as she shows it off to the U.G.A.J. jury.

Jughead: Okay, back to reality, strange as it is, what exactly are you me-man woman haters hope to accomplish with this?

Panel four: The Judge points the gavel at Jughead as Jughead sinks into the chair as far back as he goes.

Judge: You were read your charges. You’re on trial for your crimes against the female gender.

Jughead: Um, hate to ask, but when your kangaroo court hops on the guilty verdict…?

Panel five: The Judge motions to the theater screen as a romantic comedy begins to play on the big screen. Jughead is in revulsion at the thought of having to put up with the U.G.A.J.

The Judge: You’ll go on a date with each and every member of the U.G.A.J. organization one after the other, where you will watch our favorite movies and listen to us as we tell you about our day and gossip, and--

Jughead: A fate worse than death.

Page 5

Panel one: Cynthia glares over at Jughead as he motions for Diana to untie him so that he can defend himself. Diana’s only response is to fold her arms across her chest and sneer at Jughead. The Judge waves Jughead’s demand off.

Jughead: Fine. If I gotta go through with this farce, at least untie me so I can play along.

Judge: Hah!

Judge: Your defense would be trying to run away!

Panel two: Jughead shrugs his shoulders as he doesn’t argue. All the U.G.A.J. members smile wickedly as the Judge and bailiff smirk at each other.

Judge: This court has appointed your defense.

Panel three: A shot over Jughead’s shoulder as he begins to turn to the female silhouette walking up to him carrying two books and folders underneath her right arm.

Female silhouette: My, my, the long arm of the law with its fashionable star and sparkle fingernails finally caught up to you, Juggers?

Panel four: Jughead turns his head as he is absolutely horrified to find that his defense attorney is Trula Twyst who smiles at Jughead as she finds his predicament amusing. In the background all the U.G.A.J. members are chuckling to themselves

Jughead: TRULA TWYST!?

Jughead: My archenemy! The bane of my existence! My most vile nemesis! Scourge! Fiend!

Panel five: Trula is setting her books (one titled Knowing the Jury and the other Courtroom psychology) and folders on the table as she calmly organizes as Jughead is suddenly equally as calm as he mildly states his dislike of defense attorney. The Bailiff shrugs her shoulders in a “well, what can you do” motion. The Judge is at the podium and preparing to begin court as she strikes the podium with her gavel.

Jughead: What I’m trying to say is I don’t believe this is all that fair.

Judge: Sorry, but Life vs. Fairness isn’t on the docket.

General Discussion / PTF Reviews a DVD
« on: July 23, 2014, 03:57:10 PM »
Taking a break from writing a fan fiction and decided to do a DVD review because I have relatives over and if I keep typing I might not be talked to. And if enough people like it, I might do a DVD once a week for fun (be warned most movies will be from pawn shops or the five dollar bin at my local Wal-Mart)  And the movie we are reviewing, because I had nine extra bucks ( mainly because Jughead and Archie still hasn’t come in and to heck with it at this point!!!) And that DVD is….

Yu-gi-oh! Bonds Beyond Time

First it was card games for ancient Egyptian power, and then it was a school for card games, and in the future to come—CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

Plot: The three protagonists of the first few series of the Yu-gi-oh anime unite as they face an opponent, the time traveling Paradox, bent on erasing the duel monster card game from history to save his time line from ruin, even if that means everyone who ever existed has to be annihilated in the process.
After stealing the prize card of Yusei Fudo, The Stardust Dragon, and swiping the best cards from Jaden’s classmates and friends, Paradox now has the best deck of card throughout history as he prepares to eliminate the creator of Duel Monsters, Maximillion Pegaus. Now it’s the three best duelists in three times vs. the best deck of cards gathered throughout time in an epic showdown.

The Good.

Crossovers: I’m a sucker for them. There’s always something about seeing your favorite characters interact with another set of characters as they face a common problem that just draws you into the story. And it helps that the movie does a great job of portraying each character and giving them equal time and importance in the movie (Honestly, I figured Yugi was going to dominate). You have Yusei Fudo, brooding duel riding duelist from the future who can’t leave his father’s involvement in a great disaster behind him; Jaden, the hyperactive Slifer Slacker who is always ampted; and Yugi, the cool collected avatar for an ancient pharaoh. They’re interactions are pretty fun: One scene has Jaden going all hyper, Yugi acting like a pro and giving him words of encouragement while Yusei monologues as he still worries about the threat. Another fun scene is when Yusei syncho summons, leaving Yugi confused and Jaden entertained at seeing a new summoning style.

Animation: Really good. A great mix of anime and CGI for the monsters like Stardust and the field spells and several building and city scenes. You do have a few scenes where the main heroes have lines all over their face for some reason, but I’m not going to hold maybe ten seconds against the animation.

Paradox: I’ve always believed that the best villains are the ones who believe in what they are doing and the viewer can kind of see his point. Duel monsters card game ruined his future and he wants to save it—but doing so would take out countless people. Plus the staff found a creative way to have a guy who hates duel monsters to having a deck: he turns good versions of the cards into evil versions to show how he views the game as evil. And I like his look for the most part.

Continuity: I think it does a good job of bridging the series. Paradox was seen very briefly in the 5ds series (I’d go into detail, but 4Kids skipping the plot point makes it mute) and you have Jaden traveling the world with the spirits of Banner as his guide and Yubel, his protective duel spirit encouraging him to Yugi’s time where Pegasus has turned over a new leaf and is enjoying his fans. Heck, the Dark Magician and Dark Magician girl get to talk like they did in the end of the first series. If you’re a fan of the series, you’ll really enjoy the continuity and the thought put into it.

The run time: In a time where everything seems to be stretched out to the point I want to punch someone—normally Bendis or Bay depending on the media—the movie has a plot, gets to it, and that’s that. The run time is around 50 minutes but it feels much longer in a good way and I appreciate that.

The end credits: I just like how it ends with the three Yu-gi-oh series theme songs up to that point. Yeah, I know some people hate the American theme songs, but it’s still a nice homage.

Flashback: A bonus feature that goes over the history of the series and gives insight into the personality and style of each hero. So if you’re coming in new to the Yu-gi series this will be a great way to get the gist of it.  It’s nine minutes long so it won’t take up too much time to view.

The original film: The original Japanese version with subtitles is also included for the fans who just like watching animes like that.

The Bad.

Characters missing: You get to see all of the 5ds supporting cast (and most of the characters who were in the series in one scene), but you don’t see Jaden’s friends or Yugi’s supporting cast save for his grandfather. I can see that the Yugi supporting cast wasn’t needed to the plot, but you did have Paradox stealing the majority of his cards from Jaden’s friends, so they could have made an appearance.

Yubel: 4Kids is dead and 4Media is now and they did not give this the over edit like normal. And if a kid is being observant…you’re have to deal with questions about Yubel like what he/she is if you catch my drift.

No Seto Kaiba and not nearly enough Jack Atlas. Especially not enough Jack Atlas.

The run time: And the problem with a short run time is that a lot of will see fifty minutes and go “Not worth it.” And I think the movie could have done with ten more minutes honestly.

Card games save the world: It’s an anime to sell a card game. If you’re willing to give into the insanity of it all and just enjoy it, you will be miserable.

What I’ve learned

1.   Card games will be the end of the world
2.   Yu-gi-oh has a lot of dragons. A LOT OF DRAGONS!
3.   Time travel is no match for the power of friendship—or magic dragons.
4.   Yusei and Superman have a very similar origin.
5.   Jaden has 3D eyes. And they are awesome.
6.   It’s not cheating if an ancient Egyptian pharaoh spirit duels for you.
7.   Making something evil doesn’t make it better.
8.   If you’re a bad guy, don’t fight all the heroes at once.
9.   So that’s what Yu-gi-oh female characters look like without edits. Huh.
10.   Jack Atlas is awesome.

Overall: We all have guilty pleasure and if something is so out there like playing card games for the fate of the world…you have a chance to win me over.

 Just like if you’re a TMNT fan and you loved Turtles Forever, if you’re a fan of Yu-gi-oh then you will love this movie. It’s what it is: three of the series protagonists meeting to take out mutual threat. Most of the English voice cast returned. (Yubel and Grandpa Muto where the only ones with new voice actors and even then it’s not really noticeable). The animation is tight, the story flows at a rapid pace while telling a the story and giving room for fun interactions. And price at Wal-Mart was only nine bucks.

If you’re a fan of the Yu-gi-oh series it’s an A to everyone else a B.

Reviews / PTF reviews Archie's Funhouse #6
« on: July 03, 2014, 03:39:36 PM »
It’s good to be healthy. Got nearly a two hundred dollar rebate because my health insurance company didn’t meet their premiums. And this is the first thing I got. Well, I guess second. First was a Mellow Yellow out of the vending machine outside of my local K-mart, but you get the idea.

The Good.

Gisele cover. It’s a fun cover and well done. And look, TONI TOPAZ! Thank goodness. I mean, now I know that Archie Comics supports this digest now that it has been blessed with the greatest Archie character of all time!! Just ahead of Kevin Keller and the Kooshkins!! But back to reality, it’s nice seeing a cover done from someone different every once in awhile that has a great style and energy to  his or her work.

The characters: Well, if you like to see more stories with the Archie secondary characters you get your wish big time. Ophelia (Early Ethel) is in a story. Anyone remember Juanita? She’s in a story, Tomoko is in a story, Frankie has his own story, and Maria has a story and is actually the stand out character with Archie, Veronica, and Betty in the story. And the digest has the usual Reggie stories for all the Reggie fans. The only one from the main five who get shortchanged a bit is Jughead, but he has his—er, he shares his own digest with Archie, so I’m okay with it. 

Stories and art: We’re still continuing the Comic Caper story where the Riverdale gang take back the yacht and the art is great as Ruiz was obviously having a blast drawing this story as there is just a ton of background characters to enjoy. And look at that. They put a stop to two crimes in one issue. If Bendis or Kirkman were writing this storyline would be at least ten issues. It’s just nice reading a non decompressed story…
Plus I finally got to read the Archieus roman story. A Jughead digest had a sequel of sorts to this story and I always wondered what was going on and what it was based off of.
And for all the Archie haters, a story about a girl not going out with him no matter what will make you happy.

And the art is good to great. Nothing bad. And again it’s a Jumbo comic so you have a great variety of artists, so everyone should get at least one story from their favorite in most circumstances.

Older stories: Yep, a blast from the past where Archie isn’t the jerk that most people here believe his and don’t like, Betty is a schemer/not boring, and Veronica….well, okay, Veronica pretty much has stayed the same. My favorite of the collection is Student Wince where Archie is driving the teachers with his usual antics and is driving them even crazier when he flies straight and narrow. That and one of the teachers looks extremely weird. I mean, not Eyda weird, but I’d put her in the top ten of weird looking Archie characters.

The Bad.

No double double? I know Jumbo comics make sense…but I just like saying double double. I’m entertained very easily.

The bad stories. Well, it’s not going to go down as the best Jumbo digest because we have a few stinkers. The Big Prize. Yuck. You know the thing I hate more than a bad story? A boring one. At least with a bad story I go back and remember “Wow, this is really messed up” and have some emotion to it. With this story—I stopped a few times to watch The Legend of Korra season two (The third thing I bought with my money!) It’s pretty much one of those “improve the environment yadda yadda special stories”.  I don’t mind teaching about energy saving ways and the like—but it is so wrong to teach a lesson and being entertained at the same time?
The next is Cliffhanger. It’s one of those stories where someone is channeling their inner Chris Claremont as it’s filled with captions (well Archie stardard) telling the story for the most part. I just don’t like these stories. I don’t need a caption of Archie telling me what I can clearly see.

Things I’ve learned.

1.   The Archies have horrible fans. They don’t pay for shows and they will throw a ten year old into a drumset if they try anything different.
2.   Archie will cause Mr. Lodge grief before, after or when he’s not there. Mr. Lodge envies Mr. Wilson.
3.   What can stop costumed crooks? Costumed meddling teenagers!
4.   The Goodwill Girls of Riverdale patrol the streets and zzzzzzzzzzz…
5.   You’ve got to think of new tricks to trick a pro trickster.
6.   At least me and Stan Goldberg agree that E.T. is not cute!!
7.   Baseball has tons of superstitions. No excitement. Maybe the Goodwill Girls of Riverdale can…zzzzzzzzz
8.   Going barefoot in town is stupid. Especially when Riverdale is insane.
9.   Twins for the win!
10.   Never keep a pocket mirror. Accidents could happen. Painful accidents.

Overall. Well, this isn’t the best Jumbo/double double (forever!) digest, but I count only two bad stories and you’ve got 320 pages. So it’s an easy A.


Page one

Panel one: The setting is a hot summer day as Moose and Midge are walking down the street after buying ice cream from an ice cream truck from the Eye Scream Ice Cream truck. Midge has two scoops of vanilla while Moose has five scoops of chocolate as they walk down the street. In the line are several kids and Jughead who is trying to convince a kid to let him cut ahead but it is not working. Nearby are a pack of dogs who looks on hungrily at the ice cream truck. Moose is looking up at the sky as he responds to Midge.

Midge: It sure is a nice summer day, isn’t it, Moosie?

Moose: Duh, it sure is, Midge.

Moose: Say you ever wonder why the sky is blue?

Panel two: Midge is laughing off the question as Moose shields his eyes from the sun with one hand as he continues to look up, not noticing that his ice cream is melting and his cone is dripping heavily.

Midge: Moose, that’s such a silly question! Everyone knows why the sky is blue!

Panel three: Moose asks Midge as Midge’s face tightens and she looks away from Moose as she has no idea what the answer is. Moose’s ice cream cone is dripping more and more as more of his ice cream is liquefied unbeknownst to him.

Moose: Then why is it?

Midge: Er, um, you see…it’s…scientific really and…

Panel four: Midge focuses on her ice cream and takes a bite out of the first scoop as she tries to avoid admitting she doesn’t know the answer. Moose looks at his cone to see all his chocolate ice cream scoops have melted. At his feet several dogs are licking up a giant puddle of chocolate ice cream. Jughead is trying to fit in between two dogs, but they growl at his direction to keep him away.

Midge: I know the answer…but Dilton can explain it much better than me, so we’ll just pay him a visit.

Moose: ???

Page 2

Panel one: Moose and Midge are walking down the steps into Dilton’s basement/lab as he is at his work table and looks completely bored and uninterested. On the walls of the basement are several posters of Einstein, Benjamin Franklin getting electrocuted while flying a kite, and a cat with a dilpoma. Flying in the air are several robotic birds with lens for eyes. At the table a small robot is trying to cheer Dilton up as he gives him a pat on his elbow. On a nearby blackboard is a super long equation that two robotic birds are confused by.

Moose: Dilton, I have a question I need help with!

Dilton: Sigh, sure, Moose, Midge. Why not, I’ve got nothing better to do.

Panel two: Moose is waving at one of the robotic birds as the robotic bird waves back as Midge is talking with Dilton. The little robot on the table is cupping his arms as he seems to be infatuated with Midge.

Midge: Dilton, what’s wrong?  Did we come at a bad time?

Panel three: Dilton is standing up as he is motioning all around his basement at the various inventions. On a computer monitor we can see that the robotic birds and what they are seeing are being displayed. The birds are still looking at the Moose and on the monitor it says: IQ higher than shoe size? Probability: LOW!

Dilton: It’s not you two. I’m always happy to see you.

Dilton: It’s just that I haven’t come up with a single good invention all summer! It’s been days!

Panel four: Dilton sits back down in his chair with his hands at his knees and his head hanging as he beings to pout. Moose looks over at the table at the small robot that is using both hands to make a heart shape in Midge’s direction as she doesn’t notice. Several of the robot birds hover over Dilton sympathetically.

Dilton: To put it in layman’s terms: I’m in a slump.

Panel five: Moose has his arm around Midge as he glares at the small robot who begins to run away and hide behind a nearby cup of pens and markers. Dilton is looking up at the two as he remembers they wanted to ask him something.

Dilton: Sigh, but enough about my plight. You two needed my help, correct?

Page 3

Panel one: Moose is asking Dilton his question as Dilton smiles as he begins to stand up. Midge is the focus of the robotic birds and she gives them a nervous smile as they are up in her face and making her uncomfortable.

Moose: I was wonderin’ why the sky is blue instead of say orange or green or something.

Dilton: A question everyone asks, but few make the effort to solve. Bravo, Moose. I salute you endeavoring for knowledge!

Panel two: Dilton is explaining as he is in the foreground while an illustration of the sun shooting out white light that then spreads out into red, orange, yellow, green and blue waves as it comes close to an illustration of the earth.

Dilton: We all know that we receive our light from the sun, but many forget that the white sunlight is made up of several colors.

Panel three: A close up on the waves of light as the blue light is being scattered over the other colors and blocking them out. Dilton is in the foreground pointing out what is happening.

Dilton: Sunlight is scattered by particles in the air, but because the blue light wave is shorter than the rest, it is scattered over the other colors.

Panel four: Dilton is opening the basement door and motioning outside at the blue sky. Moose and Midge follow him outside. The robotic birds fly out overhead happily.

Dilton: And thus, that is why the sky is blue!

Panel five: Moose and Midge are walking away hand in hand as the use their free hand to wave goodbye to Dilton as Dilton is scratching under his chin as he is beginning to come up with an idea.

Midge: Thanks, Dilton!

Moose: Yeah. Too bad the sky can’t be more different colors because of those bits of particles.

Dilton: “More different colors”? Hm, that’s an interesting particular possibility...

Page 4

Panel one: Moose and Midge are walking down a street as the panel is a close-up on their faces. Midge is smiling ear to ear as she has her head next to Moose’s right arm as she is enjoying his company while Moose is looking up awkwardly at the unseen sky. Walking by several people are staring up in the not seen by the reader sky to hint something strange is going on.

Caption: The next day.

Midge: A wonderful day for a picnic with my boyfriend. What more can I ask?

Moose: Duh, I can think of something to ask about.

Panel two: Same shot only with Moose looking straight up and Midge snapping out of her idyllic mood as both of her eyes go wide in confusion.

Moose: Why is the sky purple with red polka dots?

Panel three: Midge is looking up as she nearly jumps out of her shoes as the sky really is purple with red polka dots. Several people come out of their homes and look up at the sky in fear. Children seem to think it’s more cool. Various dogs are looking up and since they’re color blind, don’t see what the big deal is as they shrug their shoulders and point at a man running around in circles in a panic. Several cars swerve and nearly crash as the drives look up at the sky. A flock of birds are flying a question mark formation to show they have no idea what is going on.

Midge: !!!

Moose: Well, at least clouds are still white and fluffy.

All About Archie / Annoying things in Archie comics.
« on: June 11, 2014, 03:12:03 PM »
Something you read or seen in a story that annoyed you.

One of mine was a Jughead story about an ugly dog contest where someone decided to outline every other word balloons in colors. Red, blue, green and about twelve other colors. It just made absolutely no sense and got on my nerves.

Fan Fiction / Archie in Mr. Lodge goes Quackers for Football!
« on: June 10, 2014, 01:26:28 AM »
Archie in Own, Draft, Awesome.

Panel one: The setting is the Lodge living room as Archie and Veronica are sitting on a purple diamond encrusted couch as they are watching ISPN (International Sports News)  on a 70 inch HD TV as they are showing  the frustrated owner of a football team called the Ducks as he is pulling his hair out in frustration as the GM and Super Duck, the mascot, look on. Reading a newspaper in his personal chair is Mr. Lodge as he’s more focused on the paper than the TV.

Veronica: Archiekins, what’s wrong with that man?

Archie: Oh, him? That’s the owner of The Ducks. They’ve been the worst team in football for the last twenty years.

Panel two: Archie is talking in the foreground while in the background on the TV screen are the Duck fans who are wearing paper bags over their heads to show how bad the team is that they don’t want to be seen supporting the team. One fan’s bag reads, “I’m quackers for staying a fan!!”

Archie: They’ve never had good players, the coaching has always been poor, and it’s gotten so bad that the fans refuse to have their faces seen!

Panel three: Mr. Lodge joins in on the conversation as he begins to lower the newspaper so we can see his face and see that he’s been reading the funny pages.

Mr. Lodge: I don’t see how anyone can do such horrible business for two decades.

Page 2

Panel one: Mr. Lodge is putting his paper on his lap as he talks with Archie and Veronica listen to him. On the TV Super Duck is being chased by people resembling the Duck Dynasty cast as the owner and GM are run over in the chase.

Veronica: What would you do, daddykins if you were the owner of the Ducks?

Mr. Lodge: Simple enough…

Panel two: A close up on Mr. Lodge as he’s happily going over what he would do to make a successful football team.

Mr. Lodge: I’d gather a strong assembly of knowledgeable and experienced professionals in the front office, I’d find a great coach and leader of men, and you use the draft to find the best talent and make your team stronger.

Panel three: Archie is talking with Mr. Lodge as Mr. Lodge brushes off what he’s saying as he doesn’t seem like he could care less as he goes back to reading the paper.

Archie: If it’s so easy then why don’t you own a professional sports team, Mr. Lodge?

Mr. Lodge: Humph. I already have enough on my plate, thank you very much.

Panel four: Veronica and Archie begin to tease Mr. Lodge as Mr. Lodge’s paper droops as we can see he’s getting red with anger.

Archie: Sounds like that plate has quite the chicken platter on it!

Veronica: Now, now, daddy can’t be expected to be successful in everything he does…

Panel five: Mr. Lodge bursts out of his chair and surprises Archie and Veronica as he points a finger in their direction.

Mr. Lodge: I am Hiram Lodge! I have the Midas touch! Anything I have bought or invested in has made me a profit! I have made poor men rich and rich men kings!

Mr. Lodge: And if I bought that team on that TV right now, they would be winning the championship this year!

Page 3

Panel one: Archie rolls his eyes as he look over at Veronica who winks back at him as she agrees to play along. Mr. Lodge glares down at Archie with flames in his eyes.

Archie: Right….

Panel two: Mr. Lodge is pointing at the hallway for Archie to leave as Archie nonchalantly begins to stand up.

Mr. Lodge: Get out! I don’t want anyone in this house who doesn’t take my word as the absolute truth that it is!

Archie: I’m going, I’m going--!

Panel three: Veronica begins to walk past her father as Mr. Lodge reacts in surprise.

Veronica: Well, I’ll be seeing you when I see you!

Panel four: Mr. Lodge is yelling as Veronica stops and tries to calm him down.

Mr. Lodge: Veronica! After all that you have, you don’t believe in me!?

Veronica: Daddy, I’m just teasing you. And so was Archie. He was just poking fun.

Panel five: Mr. Lodge is grumbling to himself as he is slouched over and grinding his teeth together. Veronica is looking into the doorway as Smithers is beginning to come into the room. Smithers has a perplexed look on his face that Veronica notices.

Mr. Lodge: He’s poking a tiger is what he’s doing!

Veronica: Smithers…? Is something the matter?

Panel six: Smithers is talking as Veronica listens. Mr. Lodge thrusts a fist in the air as if he was declaring war.

Smithers: Master Andrews told me and I quote: “That Mr. Lodge pretty much gave everyone on staff indefinite leave,” whatever that might mean.

Mr. Lodge: THAT TEARS IT!!!

Page four

Panel one: Mr. Lodge is on a cellphone as he is looking at the TV where the Duck Owner is on his hands and knees crying as he reaches into his pocket. The General manager tries to console him to no avail.

Mr. Lodge: I’m going to teach that freckled face deadhead nitwit to never to taunt a Lodge!

Panel two: Mr. Lodge is talking the cellphone as Veronica and Smithers look on in confusion.

Mr. Lodge: Hello, Mr. LeBeauf. Georgie, it’s me, Hiram Lodge. I was hoping to purchase your football franchise immediately!

Panel three: Mr. Lodge, Veronica, and Smithers look at the TV as Mr. LeBeauf is jumping in joy.

TV: YAY! The Albatross is off of my neck!! No more lame duck team!!

Panel four: Veronica congratulates her father for purchasing the Ducks by giving him a kiss on his cheek. Smithers places a hand on Mr. Lodge’s shoulder to show his support.

Veronica: Oh, daddy, you finally have your own football team!

Smithers: Bully for you, sir!

Panel five: Mr. Lodge places a closed fist in an open palm as he smirks as he seems to be up for the challenge of turning The Ducks into a winning team.

Mr. Lodge: And now the hard work begins! It’s time for that Lodge know-how to make ducks soar majestically like eagles!

Page 5 (Six panels, two on each side to show a before and after)

Panel one:  Mr. Lodge is in the Ducks training facility to see that is a pathetic mess. Barbells are bent, the exercise bikes are broken and one has fallen lopsided onto another. Treadmills are without tread, and a whirl pool bath is dirty and slimy. Nearby by a rat seems to be disgusted by the room and the smell.

Mr. Lodge: I can’t expect my men to be champions training before and healing up after a game like this!

Panel two: Mr. Lodge has remodeled the training facility to include whirlpool hot tubs for the players, high tech sports equipment, and he even has placed several flat screen TVs showing work outs and stretches. Mr, Lodge is in the middle pridefully standing in the facility as he soaks it all in. The rat from before is on a miniature treadmill and is getting buff.

Mr. Lodge: Now this will shape my team into champions!

Panel three: Mr. Lodge is shaking his head as he is now on the field and is looking at the Duck coach. The Duck coach is overweight, balding, has buckteeth (one longer than the other), is wearing a white tank top with a wrinkly red jacket over it, black shorts and flip flops and is holding the play book upside down with several pages falling out of it. With his free hand he is picking his nose.

Coach: Der.

Mr. Lodge: This is not my idea of a head coach…or a human being.

Panel four: Same field only with Mr. Lodge standing next to a Tom Landry looking head coach as he smiles ear to ear.

Mr. Lodge: Tim Laundry! Now this is a coach! This is a leader!

Panel five: Mr. Lodge and Mrs. Lodge are standing in front of Super Duck as he is on his hands and knees as he is begging to keep his job. Behind him the Goose Gallery (Duck Dynasty homage) are preparing to net Super Duck and take him away.

Mr. Lodge: I’m sorry, but I’m not convinced that being called The Ducks intimidates the enemy.

Mrs. Lodge: But, Hiram, he looks so cute and he’s begging you.

Panel six: Mr. Lodge reaches an arm over and hugs Mrs. Lodge and gives her a kiss on the forehead to show his affection. Super Duck is jumping for joy as he gets to stay on the team. The Goose Gallery walk away dejectedly, dragging their net behind them.

Mr. Lodge: I suppose we can leave this the same--

Mrs. Lodge: I always knew you were an animal lover.

Mr. Lodge: Not as much as I love a certain someone.

Reviews / PTF Reviews Archie's Funhouse #5
« on: May 28, 2014, 03:35:31 PM »

And before I begin, to all of those who have digital subscriptions or the like and would like to mention it—SHADDUP SHADDUP SHADDUP!!

The Good:

Fernando Ruiz. The majority of the art for the digest coming from my favorite Archie artist? Yeah, that’s a great selling point. Just great work. The characters and their movements and expressions are spot on and I love the background art. I especially love how he draws Jerry Bigg in the multiple part story; you just know he’s going to be the most annoying human being ever. And let’s not forget the cover which I really like. Although I’m kind of wondering why he signed his first name instead of his last name for the cover. Maybe because his first name is cool. I have the opposite feeling regarding mine.

Reggie: For all you Reggie fans, you get some more great Reggie stories or stories where he is pretty much the main focus. You get a wide range from Barbarian to a dunk booth, and crazed dune buggy racer. So if you’re a big Reggie fan, then you’re definitely going to like this digest.

Continuity…wha? Yep, if looks like The World Arc is going to be followed up as the kids have gained some fame and now some egomaniac big movie biz Jerry Bigg prepares to use them. Alex Simmons is doing a great job on the writing as he’s set up the Stop Watch Bandits, Jerry Bigg is an entertaining character and we’re left with a nice cliffhanger and a few questions to be answered later. All the characters are spot on the art is great from Ruiz with tons of Easter eggs.

Stories: For the most part, they’re all pretty good to great. You have really fun story with Archie and  a dozen eggs, various characters like Pop Tate, Dilton, and other characters getting a story. We have a really clever Moose needs to pass a make up test to play in the big game with a fun ending. There are a few stories I didn’t like.

The Bad.

Dilton wants peace. Bah, curse these hippie laced stories. Pretty much Dilton is preachy about no violence and negotiate. I just have heard this message so much, I want to punch someone. Plus it gets in the way of Moose clobbering someone. Darn it all, without walloping someone we’re left with someone who just goes “Duh” It doesn’t help that the really clever ending Moose story I mentioned earlier was before it.

Price increase. I’m someone who will wait years for someone to pawn a DVD and buy it for two dollars (That’s how I got the Lord of the Ring Trilogy), so I’m not liking a dollar increase. I get that it’s a dollar and this was a very good issue…but I’m incredibly cheap.

Just this one thing from Tim Kennedy. I know some people aren’t a fan. I kind of like his art. But I do have one question…what the heck is up with Chuck’s hair?! It just looks weird and Chuck’s hair style is very important to me. Chuck’s hair makes it easy to tell when a story is. It most always be recognizable. Always.

Yeah, not too much bad this issue. Unless you count me having trouble with some of the games, but that’s more embarrassing than bad. :)

I’d give this issue an A. I only didn’t like one story while everything else is pretty good to great. Favorite artist with the majority of the art helps for me. And I’ll get use to the price increase. So it’s a must buy.

What I learned:

1.   When you want a robot to do something you don’t want to do, don’t program it with your personality.
2.   Bigg Productions: We’re the Marvel Studios/Asylum direct to video of the Archie Verse!
3.   No one wants to go to a carnival and be hit buy someone with a rubber sword.
4.   A beach stand is not a good idea for a summer vacation.
5.   Never get between a horde of orphans and food.
6.   Even when sneaky people are being straight with you they are sneaky.
7.   Ms. Grundy cannot compete with a donut shop robbery.
8.   Baseball stinks. It never ends, you have to make good grades to play, and angry people throw you.
9.   A dozen eggs can be quite the challenge
10.   Dune Buggy racing was the rage back in the day when gas cost a penny and Betty Boop was only seventy years old.

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