TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #26 Thoughts and Comments

written: Thursday, March 20, 2008, 1:00 PM - 4:59 PM, 7:15 PM - 7:56 PM, 9:02 PM - 11:54 PM


Note: I am reviewing only the new stories in this digest.


The front cover shows Reggie pointing out his class president campaign poster to Betty and Nancy and saying "All of my posters are printed on paper that's been recycled!" Betty smiles, but Nancy grins and says "Just like your jokes!" A blurb in the lower-right corner has the recycle logo and says "Read: A Warming Effect". It's a nice cover that ties into the feature story. The cover is by Fernando Ruiz.


a Warming Effect
by George Gladir
Character(s): Reggie
11 pages

In the school's lab, Dilton shows off his new invention, a device that sucks carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere, to Betty, Nancy, and Reggie. Betty and Nancy are impressed, but Reggie isn't and criticizes the "greens" for their "alarmist talk" about the greenhouse effect and global warming. Betty is surprised by his attitude, but he dismisses her concerns by saying they've always had big climate changes over the centuries. Reggie leaves the "ditzy tree huggers" to go home and work on his class president election posters. He offers Betty and Nancy a lift home in his big SUV, but Betty turns it down for the exercise benefits of walking. Nancy adds that it's good for the environment. As Reggie gets stuck in traffic, Betty and Nancy walk past him, and Betty says that sometimes walking can be a faster form of transpotation. That night, with 1 week until the election, Reggie falls asleep while working on his posters and has a dream. Reggie asks Archie and Jughead for suggestions on where to hang up his election posters. Archie suggests the new dikes that have just gone up. Reggie is surprised. Jughead explains that, due to the polar ice caps melting, dikes were built to prevent flooding in Riverdale. Skateboarders use the tops of the dikes to do their stunts. Reggie hangs a poster on a dike but then notes that it (with his slogan, "As Dependable As the Weather") doesn't go with the scene. Reggie sees Santa's sleigh flying in the sky and asks what he's doing here so early. Archie explains that, because of the polar ice caps melting, Santa is way behind on last year's deliveries. Santa, dressed in shorts, boots, his hat, and sunglasses, asks Reggie for help in delivering toys. Reggie asks what's wrong with his elves helping him. Santa says they're all back home, building dikes, because their polar ice cap is melting, too. Reggie gets a ladder and climbs to the roof of the house that Santa is on. As Santa goes down the chimney, he says there's one thing that he does like about the tropical climate in Riverdale: people no longer build fires in fireplaces, so he no longer worries about scorching his pants. These day visits remove the element of surprise, but no one seems to be home. Santa wishes the kids would leave ice cold lemonade instead of cookies. Reggie gets into the house somehow and notices that the family had set up and decorated a Christmas cactus with a note to Santa that it's the only tree that they could find this year. When Santa is back on the roof, Reggie runs away, having some slight changes to make on his election posters. Veronica comes by and offers Reggie a lift. Reggie tells her to get him home as quickly as she can, because he has more work to do on his posters. Veronica is driving a hybrid car, because her father feels that she should drive one to save on fuel. Reggie wants a good reason why she'd want to do that. Veronica says she can give him a dozen good reasons, but she points out the price of gas as one reason. Reggie says it's "through the roof". Reggie says there must be some mistake, but Veronica says the price has been "quite high for some time". The service station provides its customers with a big "crying towel" every time that there's a huge jump in the price. Veronica says it's getting a lot of action lately. A police officer stops Veronica, because today is Wednesday, and the highway is closed to all four-wheeled vehicles and trucks to cut down on fuel consumption by encouraging other forms of transportation. Veronica and Reggie have to take the long way home. They're almost to Reggie's place, and Veronica asks him if he would like to stop off and pick up any supplies that he might need. Reggie says yes. Veronica stops at a store. Reggie gets out of the car and runs to the store, telling Veronica that he needs to pick up a big supply of crying towels. Reggie wakes up, realizes that it was all a "silly dream", and laughs, but then he thinks that it seemed so real. Reggie goes to another room (the living room? the den?) to tell his parents about his "silly dream", but his mom silences him. Mr. Lodge is being interviewed on a talk show. His new solar panel business in Riverdale is thriving, because more and more firms realize the need to focus on cheap, renewable energy to eliminate the harmful effects of increased carbon in the environment. Then Reggie's mom wants to know about his "silly dream", but he says it's nothing. Reggie excuses himself and goes to make some big changes on his posters. At school, Betty asks Nancy if she's decided who she's voting for. Nancy says anybody but Reggie. Reggie has new campaign posters up, made of 100% recycled material, with his new slogan, "He Cares". Nancy then notices that Reggie has Dilton up on the platform with him. Reggie promises that, if elected, he'll always have Dilton at his side with energy-saving and air-cleaning solutions for the school. Betty asks Nancy if she thinks Reggie is sincere about clean air. Nancy agrees and says Reggie's not emitting his usual hot air.

When I first heard about this story, I was happy that Archie Comics had decided to tackle such a serious issue. That's why I'm so disappointed by the end result.

Sure, the story does explore some of the possible adjustments that we'll have to make in the near future, such as buying hybrid cars or using other forms of transportation, through-the-roof gas prices (though we never find out how high that "through the roof" is, probably to keep the story current), rising temperatures, and rising sea levels, but the story has some major flaws.

First, Reggie's lesson is learned from a dream, which he dismisses as "silly" soon after waking up, then thinks about seriously, then goes back to dismissing it as silly again. It's ultimately a short talk show interview with Mr. Lodge that convinces Reggie to go green. So what was that dream that took up most of the story for?

Second, the story takes on a silly tone with the introduction of some silly elements. For example, a large part of the story deals with Santa Claus delivering presents in hot weather. Yes, it's been established that Santa Claus exists in the Archieverse, but his inclusion in this particular story does not contribute any real-world, educational content, which presumably is the point of this story.

The polar ice caps melting have caused Santa to fall behind on his deliveries from last year. How? If anything, wouldn't there be less houses for Santa to visit, since a lot of them would be, y'know, underwater?

Then there are the crying towels. That's just stupid. I doubt that most people would literally cry over a rise in gas prices, and those that do would need only a tissue.

The dikes introduce a different type of flaw. By showing kids using them for skateboarding, instead of showing them being used for what they were designed (holding back water), their importance is diminished in the readers' eyes.

Showing someone using a pogo stick as an alternate form of transportation is another example of treating a serious issue as a joke.

A smaller issue that I have with this story is that things in Reggie's dream don't make sense. I know dreams are like that, but there's no indication in the story that this is supposed to be a weird, disjointed dream, so I'll address them anyway. Why is everyone treating Reggie with a "Where have you been?" mentality? No time seems to have passed, judging by the characters' appearances and the fact that Reggie is still in the election. Why the "Rip Van Winkle" nature of the dream?

What had the potential to be a good, educational story is reduced to the equivalent of "A Christmas Carol" focusing totally on the future - but without the dramatic impact.

This story could have been so much more. It should have been approached differently. Get rid of the dream entirely. Get rid of the dumb jokes like the crying towel. Show how global warming and other environmental damage affects life now, not in some vague "I can't decide when this occurs" time.

Show dikes protecting Riverdale from flooding. Explain how driving a hybrid car reduces pollution. Show characters wearing sunscreen and sunglasses for protection. Show characters riding motorcycles as an alternative to cars. Show characters carpooling or using public transportation. Tell of ski trips being cancelled. Show characters bringing along cloth bags while shopping. Show characters recycling plastic, glass, aluminum, and paper. Show characters using solar energy, replacing their old light bulbs with more efficient ones, and turning off the lights when they leave a room. In short, give practical advice on what we can do.

Finally, treat the issue with the seriousness that it deserves. It doesn't have to have a "The sky is falling" tone, but it should be dramatic and cautionary.

This story is a big missed opportunity.


Reprinted stories in this digest include:

"Art in Part"
by Unknown
Character(s): Jughead
1 page

"The Write-Off"
by Unknown
Character(s): Betty and Veronica
6 pages

Driven To Distraction!, Parts I and Two
by Unknown
Character(s): Archie & Friends
11 pages

"The Name Game"
by Unknown
Character(s): Moose
1 page

Shriek, Chapters One-Four
by Unknown
Character(s): Archie's Weird Mysteries
21 pages

Note: The Archie's Weird Mysteries story is preceeded by an introductory page (uncredited). A blurb at the bottom of the page says "Don't look now! You are about to discover Archie's Weird Mysteries! Ghosts! Creatures! Aliens! Beware!" Why does it tell us to not look now, if we are about to discover? It's a conflicting bit of text.

Oh, What a Knight
by Unknown
Character(s): Archie
1 page

Return of the Bulk!
by Unknown
Character(s): Archie & Friends
6 pages

A Singular Idea
by Unknown
Character(s): Josie and the Pussycats
6 pages

Note: The Josie story is preceeded by an introductory page drawn by Adam Walmsley. Since when does Valerie play the tambourine? That's so lame. What is it with Archie Comics and tambourines? It's not cool.


There is then 1 page of Learn To Draw Archie.


The Big Build-Up
by Craig Boldman
Character(s): Archie
6 pages

In the school's computer lab, Archie sees Dilton put his own head onto a robotic or armored body by using imaging software. Archie is amazed. Dilton shows him how to use it. Archie puts his own head on the shoulders of one of the wrestling team jocks. When they leave, two girls come across Archie's manipulated picture and are convinced that it's real. One of them e-mails the picture to some of the girls. Before long, Archie notices that all of the girls keep gazing at him. Jughead compares Archie's attitude to Reggie's. Reggie comes by and angrily asks Archie about the girls, which makes Archie think that he's not imagining it. At lunch, some girls invite Archie to sit with them. Betty, watching from her and Veronica's table, asks Veronica if she's been getting a load of this "sickening display". Veronica talks about the doctored photo, which Betty has seen. Betty says she's seen Archie at the beach enough to know his build isn't ever going to look like that. Veronica says the girls are deluding themselves. Betty says it's mass hysteria and suggests telling them. Veronica suggests a visual to drive the point home. Archie tells Jughead that he's finally figured out that the girls are crazy about his body, which confuses Jughead. Veronica, knowing Archie's size, gives him a shirt to "show off" his "muscles". Archie, deciding to "give 'em what they crave", changes into the shirt in the restroom. When he meets some girls, they're surprised and wonder what's going on. Betty and Veronica are happy, but then the other girls, sad at seeing Archie "so sickly", decide to give him some "T.L.C." (of which they have "plenty") to get him back to his "magnificent old self". Betty is surprised. Veronica is angry and says she "underestimated the teenagers' ability to delude themselves so sincerely".

This b-story is one of those everyone-is-an-idiot story. Let's walk through this:

1) Archie is an idiot for not knowing about photo manipulation. At all.
2) The girls IN THE COMPUTER LAB are idiots for believing that an image IN AN IMAGING PROGRAM is authentic.
3) The girls at Riverdale High are idiots for not considering the possibility that the image was doctored.
4) The girls at Riverdale High are idiots for believing that Archie really is muscular under his clothes.
5) The girls at Riverdale High have apparently never seen Archie in a plain short-sleeved shirt.
6) The girls at Riverdale High are idiots for believing that Archie had simply lost all of that muscle.

Finally, what's with Veronica referring to the morons as "the teenagers"? Is she implying that she and Betty are in their twenties - and still in high school - or maybe teachers?

This story is one big idiot plot. I've seen better writing than this on Captain N.

Not often - but sometimes.


This digest is pretty enjoyable. Some of the reprinted stories are better than the new stories. Notably, there aren't any puzzles, but I don't miss them. I'm not giving it an outright recommendation. Pick it up if you want.

If anyone can get a cope of Laugh Digest #101, you'll see that it was released for Earth Day, and the story "Future Shock" does a much better job of outlining environmental concerns.  Of course, the book came out in 1992, so it may be tough to find.  I could scan the cover for you guys though, if you like.

Tuxedo Mark - I definitely agree that it would have been better if it went the direction you mention, by providing some actual solutions, precautions, or what-have-you instead of the odd inclusion of the dream where Santa laments the harsh weather conditions. I also agree that it was handled a bit clumsily, the dream sequence was rather throw away and his flip-flopping upon waking up is a bit confusing. Somehow, though, I imagine there will be more versions of this story made. Again, I think it would be *really* beneficial for the story-writers to take some of your suggestions from your review into consideration because, while this story does scratch the surface of enviornmental awareness, there really aren't any suggestions for kids other than "cars bad" and a quick, "recycle good". I think that suggestions geared toward younger readers who likely don't yet drive, would have been a better way to go.

Does *anyone* actually play tambourine anymore? It's like a SNL skit where, instead of cowbell, they use tambourine!

:sigh: I love these reviews!

page one

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woow nice Forsythe!! I liked this story...funny!!

Ayablue said:

"Does *anyone* actually play tambourine anymore? It's like a SNL skit where, instead of cowbell, they use tambourine!"

"I got a fever and there's only one cure--- MORE COWBELL!!!!" -- Christopher Walken cracks me up when he hosts SNL!

This could be a whole new career move musically for Betty! 

Gregg