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Archie Comics Digests... the origin story by DeCarlo Rules
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Re: Riverdale Reviewed by Tuxedo Mark
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ARCHIE SHOWCASE DIGEST by DeCarlo Rules
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Shoutbox

  • Tuxedo Mark: Story #05 of my Blackjack Jill series is now free on Amazon: [link]
    February 25, 2020, 07:29:40 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "Tough Turf" from Cheryl Blossom: Summertime Fun #2 (1995): [link]
    February 24, 2020, 09:28:47 pm
  • DeCarlo Rules: HERE-WE-GO-AGAIN TIME:  Sabrina the Teenage Witch Complete Collection v2 TP (solicited in January with a shipping date of 3/18/2020) is now CANCELLED. I thought this kind of stuff was over with by now...
    February 19, 2020, 06:49:11 am
  • Tuxedo Mark: Story #03 of my Blackjack Jill original series is now free on Amazon: [link]
    February 12, 2020, 11:03:22 am
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "Distress Over a Dress" from Veronica #179: [link]
    February 10, 2020, 08:02:05 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Definitely more of a light-hearted comedy.
    February 07, 2020, 11:30:30 am
  • Tuxedo Mark: I loved the first episode of Katy Keene! :)
    February 07, 2020, 11:30:10 am
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "Whose Beach is It, Anyway?" from Archie's Summer Splash! (the FCBD 2010 issue): [link]
    January 31, 2020, 10:39:40 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "The Dating Analysis" from Archie Double Digest #306: [link]
    January 26, 2020, 05:20:43 pm
  • Gotapenname: I lent my dad all most  Archie the Married life 10th aniversary series and the experince so far has been more fun than reading comic. I guess really is bettter to give than recive.:)
    January 24, 2020, 04:11:42 pm
  • DeCarlo Rules: I suspected it was coming when I didn't see ARCHIE AND ME listed in the titles for the subscription ad appearing in the digests...
    January 24, 2020, 03:17:40 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Has Archie and Me been cancelled?
    January 24, 2020, 11:38:01 am
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "The Case of the Walk-Away Shoes" from Betty and Veronica Double Digest #279: [link]
    January 20, 2020, 07:21:25 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: 21, the first story in my Blackjack Jill serial, is available for free right now: [link]
    January 20, 2020, 11:37:36 am
  • DeCarlo Rules: A week is nothing. That can pretty much happen with any title from any publisher.
    January 16, 2020, 03:05:10 am
  • Mr.Lodge: They want to finish Afterlife with Archie first.....
    January 12, 2020, 10:37:50 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Archie #710 has been delayed a week. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
    January 11, 2020, 07:37:46 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: The third and fourth stories in my series, Vampire Killer, are free on Amazon right now: [link] and [link]
    January 11, 2020, 05:07:17 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "The Case of the Triple Cross" from B&V Friends Jumbo Comics Digest, No. 276: [link]
    January 10, 2020, 11:36:11 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Congrats to Riverdale on its renewal and Katy Keene on its additional 13-script order.
    January 07, 2020, 10:47:15 pm

Archie & Me in Lunch Crunch

Started by PTF, April 28, 2019, 12:58:45 pm

Previous topic - Next topic

PTF

Page 1
 
Panel one: Archie is in the lunch line as Ms. Beazley flops a pile of grey mash potatoes on his tray. On Archie's tray already is a weird purple meatloaf. Next to Archie in line is Betty,  Big Vic, Sheila Wu and Rob who slowly back away like avoiding a crime scene.
 
Archie: Um, Ms. Beazley, I really don't need that big of a helping.
 
Beazley: Aw, O' course ya do, freckles! You kids need your mashed taters to grow big and strong!
 
Panel two: Archie looks at a black speck on his mashed potatoes as Ms. Beazley hands out the next portion to Betty Cooper who looks like she's going to throw up.
 
Archie: Is that a bug?
 
Ms. Beazley: Nah, that's a pepper flake.
 
Panel three: Archie looks wide eyed as the "black speck" crawls down the mashed potatoes. Ms. Beazley waves what happens off as she dumps a third helping of mashed potatoes on Betty's tray as Betty looks like she's going to cry.
 
Archie: !!
 
Ms. Beazley: A raw pepper flake.
 
Page 2
 
Panel one: Archie is walking past the teacher's table as all the teachers are enjoying bag lunches save for Coach Kleats who looks dejectedly at a carrot as Coach Clayton happily eats a sandwich. Mr. Weatherbee notices Archie twisting his face in disgust.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie, what's the matter with you? You look sick to your stomach.
 
Archie: Not yet.
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee waves Archie off as he pulls out a massive homemade turkey sub from his lunch bag.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Ah yes "lunch room food is bad". That old chestnut. You're lucky, Archie. Because of budget constraints we of the faculty have to supply our own meals.
 
Panel three: Archie holds his plate out as Mr. Weatherbee accepts his trade.
 
Archie: You can be lucky too if you want to trade, sir.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Fine! If it'll put to rest this idiot notion!
 
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee begins to take a bite of the mashed potatoes as he looks over at Archie who is happily sniffing his newly acquired turkey sub sandwich. Prof. Flutesnoot is next to him eating a small bowl salad and Ms. Ganesh is drinking a small cup of tea.
 
Archie: This is going to be yummy.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Not as delicious as this meal will be.
 
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee has the spoon of food in his mouth as his eyes bulge, his face cheeks sink in, and the wig on his head leaps off his head because of how bad the taste is.
 
Panel six: Mr. Weatherbee spits the food out on a napkin as Prof. Flutesnoot and Ms. Ganesh leap out of their seat as they are caught by surprise. Archie has just finished his turkey sub and pats his stomach as he has a thankful smile on his face.
 
Mr. Weatherbee; BLLAAAHHH
 
Archie: So, Mr. Weatherbee...wanna trade lunches tomorrow too?
 
Page 3
 
Panel one: Archie looks on as Mr. Weatherbee storms past him with both fists shaking in rage.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I'm going to trade in a washed up cook is what I'm going to do1!
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee confronts Ms. Beazley behind the lunch line as she serves a giant helping of food to Jughead who eyes it leveling with a tear in his eyes as he licks his lip.
 
Ms. Beazley: Another successful day fer da Beaz.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: You call making me heave my guts out a success?
 
Panel three: Ms. Beazley points her wooden spoon at Mr. Weatherbee's stomach as Mr. Weatherbee blushes.
 
Ms. Beazley: Looks to me you've got plenty of guts ta spare, chubby!
 
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee goes nose to nose with Ms. Beazley.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Third world countries eat better than these students do!
 
Ms. Beazley: Third world countries have bigger budges than what I'm left with!
 
Panel five: Archie walks up to listen to the argument as Ms. Beazley points at the empty platters of food along the food line.
 
Beazley: Ya get what you pay fer and I ain't getting pennies for fixin's!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: That's absurd! The school provides enough for an adequate lunch menu! You're just a horrible cook!
 
Panel six: Ms. Beazley walks away in a huff as Mr. Weatherbee folds his arms as he remains stern.
 
Ms. Beazley: If you think you can do bettah, be my guest, baldie!
 
Page 4
 
Panel one: Archie is talking with Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee is still frowning.
 
Archie: Maybe she has a point, sir. I remember you saying that you and the faculty had to bring your own meals because...
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Hmph.
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee turns to Archie as he points at the nearby lunch menu that reads MONDAY: GLOP. TUESDAY SPECIAL: GLOP WITH SEASONING.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: The school board has cut our budgets all over, but that doesn't mean she can't craft edibles!! 
 
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee pridefully sticks out his chest as he has a smile on his face as Archie looks on concerned.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: We'll just handle lunch duty tomorrow. That'll motivate Ms. Beazley and bring harmony back to my lunch room.
 
Archie: We?
 
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee puts a hand on Archie's shoulder as he builds him up.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Of course! You and me, my boy! We'll make a fine team! Your free period is before lunch so that'll give us plenty of time to prepare!
 
Archie: But why me? Sandwiches confuse me.
 
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee's grip tightens as Archie nervously shakes his head.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Because you made me eat that horrible food.
 
 
Archie: ...I'll be glad to help, sir.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Such a smart, helpful lad.
 
Page 5
 
Panel one: Archie and Mr. Weatherbee are in the cafeteria as they are both wearing aprons and chef hats.
 
Archie: We look snazzy, sir.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Indeed. The first step in cooking is to look the part.
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee points to the stock room as Archie runs into it.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie, I want you to find what you can that we can use for today.
 
Archie: Right!
 
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee winces as Archie has an accident off panel.
 
SFX CRASH WHAM SKAK
 
Panel four: Archie is talking off panel as Mr. Weatherbee face palms in frustration.
 
Archie: I knocked a few things over, sir.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Really? How unlike you.
 
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee looks on impatiently as he looks at several loaves of bread, a case of peanut butter and jelly, and salt and pepper canisters.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Hurry up, Archie! I need to see all that I have so I can envision the wonderous meal I will craft.
 
Archie off-panel: Coming sir.
 
Panel six: Archie holds out a bottle of paprika.
 
Archie: Here you go, sir!
 
 
Mr. Weatherbee: !!!
 
Page 6
 
Panel one: Archie shrugs his shoulders as Mr. Weatherbee is fuming.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Stop joking around, Archie!
 
Archie: I'm not joking sir.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I know for a fact we have a full stock room!
 
Panel two: Archie explains as Mr. Weatherbee calms down as he notes the severity of the situation.
 
Archie: But sir, most of the food has expired, the spices have run out of date and there's a weird mold I think used to be apples. It attacked me!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Ack! How did things get so bad!
 
Panel three: Ms. Beazley walks up to Mr. Weatherbee.
 
Ms. Beazley: Hah! Not so easy when yer dealin' with a shoe string budget and vitals held over from when Regan was president!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Well, um, I suppose I might have been hasty...
 
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee extends a hand of friendship as Ms. Beazley accepts it.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I apologize, Bernice. What you managed with no one dying is a miracle.
 
Ms. Beazley: Yeah, well, maybe I shouldn't have busted yer chops, Waldo. I know da food's not up to par, but what can I do with less than nuthin' to work with?
 
Panel five: Archie, Mr. Weatherbee, and Miss Beazley begin to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Well, it's not much, but it'll have to do. But tomorrow...
 
Archie: Too bad the school board can't taste what their budget cuts have done to the lunch program.
 
Panel six: Mr. Weatherbee and Ms. Beazley have sneaky smirks on their faces.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Hm...there is a meeting tonight in this very school...
 
Ms. Beazley: And it seems a shame to toss all them expired cans and spices out on da street....
 
Page 7
 
Panel one: The school board is in the lunch room as Mr. Weatherbee leads the way talking with an elderly man of the school board with a brushy mustache. Follow behind him are middle age members, two men, and two women. All look around the lunchroom.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: I still do not see why you canceled our catering service, Principal Weatherbee. Some of us run businesses and have a few children and are spent from a long day!
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee motions for them to sit at the teach table as Mr. Auberjonois pushes past Mr. Weatherbee.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I just thought with all the supplies my school has, our lunch lady can showcase her cuisine.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: I wasn't born yesterday, Waldo. You're not the only principal who has tried to suck up to us for money you don't need.
 
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee smiles as he waves off the notion as he takes a step back as Ms. Beazley brings a platter with a cover over it to the table.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Heavens no! In fact, the budgets and food provisions you've graciously provide us is responsible for this meal!
 
Panel four: Ms. Beazley removes the coche from the plate to reveal a spoiled green ham that extrudes a repugnant aroma that causes the school board to turn even greener than the ham. Mr. Weatherbee is pinching his nose as he smiles triumphantly.
 
Ms. Beazley: Bon A-pet-tye, ya stuck up, know nothings!
 
Page 8
 
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is walking towards the closed double doors of the lunchroom with Archie as they talk.
 
Caption: Later...after a few stomach pumps.
 
Archie: Wow. You mean, you and Ms. Beazley were able to reason with them?
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I admit it was a strong odor--I mean, order, but with valid points, evidence, and a healthy, open debate with a sound argument we won the day.
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee opens the doors as Archie looks at him.
 
Archie: So they increased the lunch budget?
 
Mr. Weatherbee: See for yourself, Mr. Andrews.
 
Panel three: A shot of the new improved lunchroom as it looks like all the students are getting fine dining as they have waiters who are sprinkling pepper into their various food. Students have roast, turkey, spaghetti, souffl├ęs and whatever else you want to include. Archie looks on dumbfounded! At a table, Veronica looks on confused as Betty, Ethel, and Midge are getting treatment that normally is reserved for her.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: What do you think?
 
Archie: I think lunch just became the most important meal of the day!!!
 
THE END


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