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Jughead in 8 Ball with a Side of Coleslaw

Started by PTF, May 22, 2016, 08:50:33 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

PTF

 Page 1

Panel one: Archie and Jughead are walking into Jughead's room as Jughead is stepping over a pile of clothing. Jughead's room is a mess with various food wrappers, pizza box cartons, empty soda cans, and various comics scattered everywhere. Archie nudges at a pile of dirty clothes with the tip of his show.

Jughead: Arch, I was thinking about how everyone calls me lazy, a glutton, and even a tad messy.

Archie: A tad messy meaning you're only responsible for your room's upkeep in your home....thankfully.

Panel two: Jughead is knelt by the side of his bed as he is reaching under his bed for something. Sticking out from under the bed, we can see various magazines, half eaten pizza crusts and action figures. Archie holds up a moldy half eaten burger and sticks out his tongue in disgust.

Jughead: And thinking about thinking made me realize I do too much thinking! My life can be even simpler!

Archie: You're talking about eliminating cognitive thinking from your daily life? Even you can't be lazy enough to do that.

Jughead: Oh no...?

Panel three: Jughead holds a magic 8-ball up to Archie's face as Archie's eyes go cross-eyed as he looks at in surprise.

Archie: A magic 8-ball?!

Jughead: Yep. Just ahead of the lunch bell and right behind the BLT sandwich in the list of greatest inventions ever.

Page 2

Panel one: Archie looks skeptically at Jughead as Jughead waves off Archie's comment while shaking up the magic 8-ball.

Archie: Don't you mean "toy"?

Jughead: I mean, my ticket to not having to waste one volt of brain power ever again. Not having to think about the answer to a question ever again! Not having to think of witty retort when a picture speaks maybe six words at the most.

Panel two: Archie is getting testy as Jughead holds up the Magic 8-Ball as it reads: WITHOUT A DOUBT.

Archie: C'mon, Jug! You're not really going to go around carrying that oversized novelty item, are you?

Panel three: Jughead holds up a hand as he wants to borrow money from Archie. Archie folds his arms and turns away from Jughead's open palm.

Jughead: I'd also like to carry maybe a five dollar bill in my pocket for a burger at Pop's .

Archie: You think I'm going to give you five dollars after you never repayed the ten dollars you borrowed last week?!

Panel four: Jughead reaches over Archie's right shoulder and holds the Magic 8-Ball up against Archie's nose as his eyes widen and looks down at the 8-ball that reads: IT IS CERTAIN

Panel five: Jughead playfully juggles the 8-ball as he leaves his room. Archie, with pant pockets sticking out to show he has no money left, is left behind to fume as he angrily looks over his left shoulder.

Archie: I hope Jughead mistakes it for a bowling ball.

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead is at Betty's kitchen door as he olds up the magic 8-ball as it reads: Outlook Good. Out the window of the kitchen we can see a frog eyeing a corned fly on the window ledge. Betty is wearing a cooking apron that has batter and flower on it and oven mitts as she opens the door to greet Jughead as Jughead shakes up the magic 8-ball.

Betty: Oh, Jughead. Would you like to come in?

Panel two: Betty looks at the magic 8-ball in Jughead's hands as she thinks it's adorable as Jughead looks ahead proudly. The 8-ball reads: YES

Betty: Hey, I used to have one of these when I was little!

Panel three: Betty is looking over the 8-ball as Jughead walks ahead and happily sniffs the air. Out the window, the fly is posing on top of the defeated frog as it cups all its arms in a victory celebration.

Betty: When I was a kid, I used to think that it was really magical. I remember when Ronnie and me played around with it and she asked if Archie would marry her first...

Panel four: Betty turns around to see that Jughead is finishing off a cake that she had just finished. On the kitchen table is the near empty cake pan, empty frosting case, and a few dozen egg shells with flour sprinkled on the table.

Betty: Jughead! That was for Archie! Do you think I would let you eat the entire cake?!

Panel five: Jughead uses one finger at the top of the magic 8-ball to turn the window to Betty as Betty holds the 8-ball near her eyes. The magic 8-ball reads: YES—DEFINITELY

Panel six: Betty is sobbing and stomping her feet as Jughead acts like he is polishing the 8-ball with his hand as he whistles innocently.

Betty: It's wrong! Just like it was the last time I threw one against a wall!!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Jughead is walking on his way to Pop's as Reggie struts in front of him with a lady on each arm as he showboats. Reggie smiles and has a twinkle in his teeth as he sticks his chest out proudly. The girls seem to believe his claim. A man is looking up at a plane that has a large banner that continues off panel; so far it reads: IF YOU ARE READING

Reggie: Ladies, ladies, am I not the greatest guy in all of Riverdale?

Panel two: Jughead holds The Magic 8-ball up to Reggie's face as the 8-ball reads: MY SOURCES SAY NO

Reggie: ?!?

Panel three: Reggie pushes the 8-ball away as the two teenage girls look over at it. Reggie has a fist balled as he looks like he wants to punch Jughead who just shrugs his left shoulder. The man is still reading the plane's banner as more of it is shown: THIS THEN YOU MIGHT

Reggie: Oh, that's real cute, Needlenose! I'm going to backhand you back to preschool so you can play with your toy!!

Panel four: The two teenage girls walk past Reggie and Jughead with their noses stuck up in the air as Reggie turns around, forgetting about Jughead as Jughead begins to walk away without a second thought. The man continues to read the large banner as more of it is shown: CONSIDER READING ARCHIE COMICS

Reggie: Girls! Girls! Where you going!?

Girl one: Sorry Reggie—

Panel five: Reggie is pulling at his hair and his face is bright red as he is enraged as the girls leave him behind. The man is holding his neck as he now has a crink in it as the plane's banner is finally finished: IT WOULD BE LESS OF A PAIN IN THE NECK!!!

Girl two: --But we only hang out with the best.

Reggie: GRRRRRR!!!

Page 5.

Panel one: We are now in the Chocklit Shoppe as Jughead is eating at the counter as he hands Pop Tate a five dollar bill for payment for the Big Pop (like a Burger King's big Whopper only much bigger.) Jughead is drinking soda from a straw as Pop Tate begins to talk to him.

Pop Tate: Why, a paying customer today, are we?

Pop Tate: How about paying a bit more on your tab?

Panel two: Jughead is taking a bite out of his burger with one hand as he holds the 8-ball up to Pop Tate as it reads: REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.

Pop Tate: What?!

Panel three: Pop Tate holds Jughead's hand down and begins to shake the magic 8-ball as Jughead vibrates as he continues to eat, splattering ketchup on various teens walking past him as he goes about eating undaunted.

Pop Tate: This oughta clear ya up!!

Panel four: Pop Tate is fuming as the 8-Ball begins to clear up from all the bubbles covering the die.

Panel five: Pop Tate is wide eyed as the 8-ball is clear and it reads: BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW.

Panel six: Jughead is cleaning his fingers after eating his burger as Pop Tate walks away in defeat. Behind Jughead, Ethel is happily skipping towards him as she has her hair tied up in a bun and is wearing a purple blouse with yellow polka dots.

Pop Tate: Sigh.

Pop Tate: Good. Because if it did...I think I just might cry.

Page 6.

Panel one: Ethel is showing off her clothing as she strikes a pose as Jughead half pays attention as he prepares to hold up 8-ball to answer her.

Ethel: Juggie, what do you think of my new blouse? You do like it, don't you?

Panel two: Ethel is ecstatic at the 8-ball's response as Jughead pays attentions as he jerks his head around.

Ethel: Yes! I knew you'd love it! I just new it?

Jughead: ?

Panel three: Jughead looks at the 8-ball to find that it reads: YES.

Panel four: Ethel is leaning across to Jughead as Jughead feverously begins to shake the magic 8-ball.

Ethel: Aw, you can be so sweet, Juggie.

Ethel: How about taking me to the movies tonight? Think about it. You and me watching a romantic movie...holding hands as we stare into each others eyes.

Panel five: Jughead holds up the magic 8-ball as it reads: YOU MAY RELY ON IT.

Panel six: Ethel is leaping up and down in joy as everyone in Pop's turns to look at her. Jughead face palms as he looks at the answer the 8-ball had given.

Ethel: YES! YES! YES!

Page 7

Panel one: Moose and Midge are walking into the Chocklit Shoppe as Ethel races outside. In the background we can see Jughead headbutting the 8-ball as he now is upset that he has to go on a date with Ethel.

Midge: Moose, do you really think I have a chance to win the Miss Teen Riverdale contest?

Moose: Duh, I don't know much, but I know you're da most beautiful girl in Riverdale.

Panel two: Midge is blushing at Moose's compliment as Moose pats Jughead on the shoulder to get his attention.

Midge: Really?

Moose: Really! Even a guy who don't like girls like Jughead here knows you're pretty.

Panel three: Jughead apprehensively holds up magic 8-ball as he winces and hopes for the best result possible. Moose is motioning for Midge to listen to Jughead.

Moose: Jug, you know that my Midgie's gonna win Miss Teen Riverdale, right?

Panel four: Moose and Midge peer over at the 8-ball. Midge looks sad as Moose is becoming enraged.

Panel five: A close-up on the answer of the magic 8-ball as it reads: DON'T COUNT ON IT!! Jughead gulps as he frightfully eyes upwards towards an angry Moose.

Panel six: Moose has Jughead held up in the air by his shirt collar as he begins to violently shake him to the point it looks like there are five of Jughead. Behind Moose a few steps away, Midge is trying to make Moose let go of Jughead

Moose: DUH, WELL WHO ASKED YA?!!

Page 8.

Panel one: Jughead, with the 8-ball tucked under his right arm, is out by the side of The Chocklit Shoppe as he is heading for a dumpster in the alleyway as Archie walks up to him.

Archie: So, Jug—how'd your experiment go?

Panel two: Jughead is entering the alley as he is stomping towards the dumpster as he now has the magic 8-ball in his hand.

Jughead: Archie, you know how toys have labels like "for children 10 and up?"

Archie: Yeah....

Panel three: Jughead just slams the magic 8-ball into the dumpster causing three stray cats to leap up from the dumpster with their hair stood up in fright as Jughead's face twists in anger. Archie shrugs his shoulders as he smiles and looks at the reader.

Jughead: Well, you need to be a priest or have military training before you operate this darn thing!!!

Archie: Amen and Ten-hut to that!


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