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New Sabrina comic book miniseries (non-horror) by DeCarlo Rules
[Today at 01:28:13 am]

What comics have you been reading? by rusty
[November 15, 2018, 12:59:56 am]

What are you currently watching? by BettyReggie
[November 14, 2018, 03:39:33 pm]

Days we look foward to as Archie Fans. by BettyReggie
[November 14, 2018, 03:37:27 pm]

Library Books That You All Read by BettyReggie
[November 14, 2018, 03:33:32 pm]

Stan Lee has died by DeCarlo Rules
[November 13, 2018, 11:34:58 am]

Riverdale Reviewed by Tuxedo Mark
[November 11, 2018, 07:04:36 pm]

Sears/Kmart by DeCarlo Rules
[November 11, 2018, 03:48:37 am]

Features by Oldiesmann
[November 10, 2018, 10:21:28 pm]

WARNING about Palladous the freelance writing company by BillysBadFurDay
[October 26, 2018, 04:58:52 am]

* Shoutbox

Refresh History
  • Oldiesmann: RIP Stan Lee :( [link]
    November 12, 2018, 02:04:24 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "Fashion Emergency" from Cherl Blossom #26: [link]
    November 11, 2018, 07:05:28 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Internet outage for nearly 24 hours, but I'm back now. :)
    November 09, 2018, 05:37:49 pm
  • rusty: That is hilarious.
    November 04, 2018, 02:36:07 pm
  • DeCarlo Rules: The funniest thing I've seen all year (and maybe ever)... [link]  :2funny:
    November 04, 2018, 07:12:01 am
  • DeCarlo Rules: It's crazy that ACP hasn't reprinted those 2 issues as a double-size one-shot. Or the lead story in a TP collection of vampire stories (including "Twilite" and others).
    November 04, 2018, 03:21:35 am
  • irishmoxie: That's crazy about those Betty and Veronica issues being worth so much. They're only about 6 years old. I'm pretty sure I have copies of them.
    November 04, 2018, 01:36:00 am
  • DeCarlo Rules: On a relatated note, the real FIRST Vampironica appeared in Larry Welz' underground comic Cherry Poptart #1 [link]. That can be had right now, CGCed at 9.4, at the Buy-It-Now price of $280 on ebay. Although the book had several subsequent printings, only the first printing ($2 cover price) contains the Vampironica story. Much, much scarcer than B&V #261 & 262, but then far fewer people seem to be aware of its existence. It may not be the same Vampironica as the one that appears in her own comic book from ACP, but then you can easily make the argument that neither is the Vampironica from B&V 261-262.
    November 04, 2018, 01:15:09 am
  • rusty: Crazy.  I obviously missed that back then.
    November 03, 2018, 10:06:11 pm
  • DeCarlo Rules: Yes, I mentioned this a while back somewhere around the time Vampironica #1 was first solicted or shipped. I even mentioned it to Dan Parent and told him if he still had copies he should get them CGC'ed.
    November 03, 2018, 04:33:03 pm
  • rusty: Apparently Betty and Veronica #261 and 262 (1987 series) are popular now due to Vampironica.  Somebody actually purchased a copy of #261 for $299 on ebay recently.
    November 03, 2018, 01:41:51 pm
  • archiecomicscollector: I've been watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on no Riverdale means more time in Greendale :)
    November 01, 2018, 10:17:35 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Quite easy. I don't need a new episode every single week.
    November 01, 2018, 09:05:48 pm
  • BettyReggie: How did everyone survive with no Riverdale last Wednesday?
    November 01, 2018, 03:56:28 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: My reviews of the Cheryl stories Psyc-Out [link] Take the Mummy and Run! [link] and A Midsummer's Magic [link]
    October 31, 2018, 10:15:29 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Oh, and there's no "The" in the title.
    October 30, 2018, 10:52:11 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Just on Netflix for now.
    October 30, 2018, 10:51:44 pm
  • BettyReggie: I can't find The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina on Netflix. Is it just streaming or is it in discs YOU can rent?
    October 30, 2018, 02:17:31 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: LOL! Nice! A bit too pricey, though: [link]
    October 30, 2018, 01:44:46 pm
  • Oldiesmann: Site is fixed now. Security certificate expired.
    October 24, 2018, 10:23:54 pm

Author Topic: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch  (Read 771 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 12, 2018, 12:54:02 am »
Intro page.

Inside of the comic con.

Jess and Kelly, dressed as Dracula Woman and Fang Girl, are fighting various frogs and toads sent out by a middle aged looking Videl as Pagan looks on. Looking on from his booth, and shielding his comics with his body is Stewart. Vera is on ipod listening to music and dancing, oblivious to what is going on around her. Bumpy the Vampire is doing the Pulp Fiction dance along side Vera.

Caption: Jess and Kelly: Our two lovely vampires turned superheroes as they must fight for their lives.

Caption: Videl: Wicked Witch. Looks different, huh? What could she want with our two leading ladies?

Caption: Pagan. Videl’s familiar and voted most evil cat two years in a row!

Caption: Stewart: Comic geek trying to live his dream and cash in.

Caption: Vera. Stewart’s girlfriend who pretty much is in a world of her own.

Caption: Bumpy the Vampire. Yep, you found him, viewers, but our security couldn’t catch this icon of the 30s. Can you help us out again?

Page 1 (Page is in all black and white flashback except for certain people or actions they take. All characters are silhouettes with only their eyes and mouths to show emotion with.)

Panel one: In a forest, the figure of a young woman (Videl) being given powers by Satan (All bright red with dark maroon for his eyes and mouth) surrounding her with dark purple magic.) As this is going on silhouettes of various forest creatures are running or flying away in terror. Only a black cat with yellow colored eyes and a chipped left ear (Pagan) looks on calmly. Videl has a wide smile ear to ear.

Caption: Centuries ago, I gave my soul to the devil himself for power and immortality.

Panel two: The silhouette of Videl is now gray with long white hair and hunched over and using a broom to support herself in the same forest to show she has aged like a normal person. The silhouette of Pagan looks on sympathetically.

Caption: But I was young, inexperienced, too eager. Gullible beyond belief….

Caption: …For while I had abandoned Mother Nature, Father Time still clung to me with the same death grip as all other living things.

Panel three: Videl in a cabin with a hole in it, as she has two vampires (all black save for their white eyes and white pointy fangs coming out of their mouths) floating over a hole in the cabin’s room where a blue moon is floating overhead. The vampires’ shadows turn red and stretch towards Videl as she is now back to the way she was the original panel.

Caption: After so many attempts, and even more victims, I found a solution.

Panel four: A shot of the youthful silhouette walking towards the reader with a glaring smile. In the background, are mansions in yellow, money in green, white skeletons with yellow wedding rings on them and red vampire bats with purple stakes in their chests

Caption: And so I have lived, rejuvenated through magic and the shadow of bats. And I have attained vast wealth through marriage and death.

Caption: And I plan on continuing my wicked, wicked ways. I just need to find two vampires.

Page 2

Panel one (Giant panel) A shot of Jess as Dracula Woman and Kelly as Fang Girl as they are in front of a booth set up by Stewart for his Dracula Woman and Fang Girl comic. He has a poorly made, battered and tore in places poster reading: Written, Drawn, Lettered, Inked, and Editted by Stewart Noss Esquire. Stewart is on the table shouting his head off to get attention to his booth. Jess is embarrassed to be there as several geeks give her lovey dovey eyes while Kelly is having fun with it as she leaps into the air and thrusts a fist forward. At his table is a pile of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl comics. The booth next door a Hispanic male the same age as Stewart is greeting someone. His is just a table with his comic with a poster reading: Dreamer: A US Citizen’s Tale.

Stewart: That’s right! It’s Dracula Woman and Fang Girl! The greatest superhero team since PB Champion and Jello Mello Man!!!

Geek one: So, ever kissed a man who wears a retainer?

Fang Girl: Yes! I am a super type person who does super type things like jump and punch and kick!

Panel two: Two cosplayers dressed like Waldo and King Kong wave Kelly off. Behind Kelly, Jess is shaking a fist at the geeks to chase them off as the nerd who flirted at her is holding his jaw with a red pain star over his head.

Kelly: I don’t get it. I’m being super cheery, but I’m not connecting with any of these people!

Jess: I am.

Panel three: Stewart bends down and sticks his head between the two as he tries to get them to focus.

Stewart: Hey! You two are not helping!  Kelly, you’re not anywhere close to being a superhero! Jess, give dorks a chance!

Kelly: I’m trying my best! I just don’t get any of this comic hero stuff!

Jess: And I’m not going to let dweebs paw me.

Page  3

Panel one: Stewart jumps down between the girls as he turns to talk with Jess who folds her arms and has angry black scribbles over her head.

Stewart: What, that’s reserved only for European vampires with ridiculous last names?

Panel two: Stewart is talking with Kelly to instruct her on what to do as Jess notices a trio of professional cosplay/booth  females who are kicking away various nerds and dressed up people who are reaching for them.

Stewart: Kelly, a superhero is someone who gets powers and then uses them properly when their uncle or cat dies.

Stewart: And then they’re never happy because they live two lives and then a new creative team joins the book and recons whatever they want. That’s why Arachno-Boy went from happily married man to homeless derelict.

Kelly: …Whuh?

Panel three: A flustered Stewart waves Kelly off to explore the comicon as she shrugs her shoulders and goes along with it.

Stewart: Look there is a ton of creative minds here. Some of them talented. Go talk with them. Learn. Enrich your life. Come back useful to the cause.

Panel four: Stewart begins to turn his head.

Stewart: Okay, Jess, it’s just us.

Stewart: Jess…?

Panel five: In the foreground, Jess is walking away with the trio of professional cosplayers. In the background Stewart looks on angrily.

Booth girl one: …And I told him, “Fine. I’ll give you two months to recoup you losses and pay me then. Just give me some of the profits instead of the interest being charged.”

Booth Girl two: What about  you, rook.

Jess: I’m paid in blood.

Cosplay professional two: Nice.

Page 4

Panel one: Stewart turns back to his booth.

Stewart: Sheesh! I dipped my ink in sweat and bargained with my blood and this is what I get out of it?!

Aaron off-panel: Don’t worry, friend. Like my aunt says, if you got heart, you can do anything!

Stewart: Yeah, thanks…

Panel two: Stewart turns around to the booth next to him to see Aaron Rodriguez and his Dreamer: A U.S. Citizen Story booth doing extremely well with various people (cosplay and just wearing hero themed t-shirts) lined up and buying his comic.

Stewart: !!!

Aaron: I’m Aaron Rodriguez! It’s nice to be booth buddies with you!

Panel three: Stewart grabs a comic out of a paying customer’s hand.

Stewart: How are you doing so well? Is it mutant aliens?? I knew I should have made Jess a puss spewing cockroach!

Panel four: Stewart flips through the comic unimpressed as Aaron talks.

Aaron: No, it’s just about my life. I’m a dreamer and with DACA up in the air—well, I thought I’d tell my story so people could understand. 

Aaron: It covers my childhood, my parents deportation, and my life right up to now.

Panel five: Stewart throws the comic back at the angry customer as he tries to act unimpressed.

Stewart: Sorry, pal, hate to tell ya, but this won’t work. People don’t read comics to connect with other human beings, but to get away from them.

Panel six: The customer shoves Stewart off-panel as Stewart’s hat twirls in the air.


Stewart going off-panel: See?

Page 5

Panel one: In the middle of the comicon as Videl takes her hood off to show that she has aged to what appears to be 50 years old with her hair nearly all gray. In her other hand is a broom and the flyer for Dracula Woman and Fang Girl. Pagan her familiar is still on her shoulder. Pagan nods his head agreeing with Videl. Walking in front of Videl is a person dressed as Unicorn Man (mostly colored pink and purple).

Videl: Pagan, remember when it was difficult to procure a virgin?

Pagan: Meow.

Panel two: Videl looks at the flyer of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl and over the page we can see several female cosplayers and various people dressed in similar costumes. One is a guy wearing super short tights and winking at a confused Ronan the Barbarian.

Videl: Hm. This may be more complicated a task than I had anticipated.

Panel three: Videl is placing Pagan on the ground as he licks her hand.

Videl: Do what you do best, my familiar:

Panel four: Pagan begins to stalk ahead as he nearly causes a man dressed as a star fleet captain to fall into a nearby comic book bin. Videl is in the background gleefully looking on.

Videl: Hunt.

Panel five: Two large males around the main cast’s age bump into Videl and nearly knock her over. One is dressed like a super hero Surfer complete with scoobies, tan, and a beach towel as his cape. Another is dressed as a muscular rat with red shorts on the outside of his costume.

Super Dude: --Than he’s like, “I was reading comics before there was a cinematic universe!” And then I banged his mom and was like—hey!!


Rat Man: Yo, really old lady or guy dressed like a really old lady, move your tookus out off the track when the testosterone train is coming through!

Panel six: Videl looks up at them with her eyes glowing red and her yellow and twisted teeth gnashing.

Page 6

Panel one: Videl turns her head to her left to see Vera being turned down by a someone dressed like Bull from The Blue Baron sitcomics.

Vera: Yeah, go back to pasture! I want a raging bull, not a steer!

Videl: Perfect.

Panel two: Videl raises up and waves her left hand as red energy goes from her hand and surrounds Super Dude and Rat Man as their pupils dilated.

Videl: Love is heinous, a horrible blight—

Panel three: Videl moves her hand towards Vera as the spell enchanted Super Dude and Rat Man turn to Vera with hearts over their eyes. Vera is picking her nose with one hand and scratching her rear with the other as all this goes on unnoticed by her.

Videl: --Be it blind, so I guide your sight!

Panel four: Ratman and Super Dude run up to Vera completely entranced by her as Vera flicks a booger at a female dressed like Raider from The Blue Baron Comic.

Super Dude: Let me lick your toes!

Ratman: No me! No me!

Vera: Hah! Knew my feminine mystique would drive the men wild after they got a whiff!

Panel five: Videl looks on with a guilty look on her face as Vera takes Super Dude and Rat Man each by hand and leads them away past cosplayers dressed like Laura Croft, Wonder Woman, and Scarlet Witch who look on completely confused.

Videl: Hm. I think this is the first time I’ve felt “guilt” in nearly a century.

Page 7

Panel one: Jess is still talking with the three professional cosplayers as they go over money. One of the girls looks off screen with a heart over her head.

Jess: Wow. You mean you make that much money--!

Booth Girl one: Yeah, being a booth girl when the comic takes off moderately is good. Modeling shirts, posing for calendars pays the bills. Freelancing comes with options.

Booth Girl three: And—ever since the comic based movies became hits—the quality in males picked up. Check out that Hunk Titanic coming to port.

Panel two: Jess eagerly turns her head to see who they are talking about.

Jess: Aye aye, captain.

Panel three: Jess’ face turns to one of disappointment and disgust.

Jess: !!!

Panel four: Trevor dressed like Captain Courageous complete with shield as he walks towards the girls with hearts over his head and looking directly at Jess.

Jess: That’s no Hunk Titanic. That’s a nimrod iceberg.

Page 8

Panel one: Trevor is talking with Jess as Jess tries to back away.

Trevor: Wow. I think you’re my soul mate, mysterious masked hot thang. I can feel my pancrease plitter platter.

Jess: Er, um, you should see a doctor about that. I’ll just leave you to—

Panel two: The Booth girls shove her back towards Trevor much to Jess’s dismay.

Booth Girl one: Hey, it’s okay to have fun on the side.

Booth Girl two: Just stay in character. It’s more fun that way.

Panel three: The Booth Girls walk away as Jess tries to call them back.

Jess: Hey! No you don’t understand! I can’t stand him I—

Panel four: Jess turns to look at Trevor who has hearts floating over his head.

Panel five: Jess looks straight at Trevor and shows her fangs to try and scare him off. Trevor has the same look and same hearts floating over his head as the previous panel

Jess: Just so you know, I suck people dry.

Panel six: Same shot with Trevor only the hearts have tiny water bottles they’re hitting each other with. Jess has covered her mouth in response to Trevor and her eyes are wide a saucer plates.

Trevor: That’s okay. I drink plenty of fluids and like it rough.


Page 9

Panel one: A confused Kelly is walking along as she looks at two fanboys sharing a comic while a  frustrated girl goes completely ignored. Behind her is a crowd of people dressed up in various costumes talking with each other. In the crowd somewhere is Bumpy the Vampire taking a selfie.

Kelly: I’ve been walking around for awhile now, and I still don’t get the appeal of comic books. I wish someone could help me.

Panel two: Kelly turns her head as a voice talks to her.

David Morbius off panel: You need not look further.

Panel three: Kelly turns around to see David Morbius (A Neil Gaiman homage) who looks similar to Dream of the Endless from DC Comics. He is sitting at his booth with various graphic novels (Dreamstar and Glassmask) set up. David looks very intimidating and Kelly looks like she sees a ghost. David Morbius has his fingers pressed together and has his heavily bagged eyes glance up towards Kelly.

David Morbius: I couldn’t help but overhear your plight. Please. Let’s talk.

Kelly: …’kay.

Panel four: Cut back a few minutes and Kelly is reading the Dreamstar graphic novel and is enjoying herself as it turns out that David Morbius is a super relativeable, friendly guy.

Caption: Five minutes later…

Kelly: Wow. I do see it! This is great! The words and art—it just goes so together! I can’t put this book down! I get it! Thank you, Mr. Morbius!

David Morbius: Not a problem. We all travel down the various paths on our life journey, when we cross paths, it is nice to have small talk about what entertains then dwell on hardships we share.

Kelly: Yepper Deppers.

David Morbius: Yepper Deppers indeed.

Page 10

Panel one: Back to Stewart at his booth as he has his elbow on his table and hand in his open palm. With his free hand, he flicks a Dracula Woman and Fang Girl comic at a random person walking by. Aaron still has a long line as he hands out a comic and shakes a person’s hand who is in tears show how touched he was by Aaron’s story.

Aaron: Wow. This is an amazing experience.

Stewart: Like waiting in the dentist office for your root canal appointment.

Aaron: Can I read your comic?

Stewart: Can you? Is it in your boring graphic novel? A chapter on reading comics?

Aaron: Expressing myself through comics is chapter ten.

Panel two: Stewart is sneering and holding up a copy of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl as a muscular man in a tank top wearing a luchador mask listens in.

Stewart: Yeah! Well, it just so happens, I wrote what I know, too!!

Panel three: The muscular luchador looks at the comic as Stewart looks hopeful. The muscular man rubs his thumb and index finger along his chin as he examines the cover.

Panel four: The muscular luchador begins to walk away as Stewart takes offense and leans over his booth as if to confront the man.

Luchador: If that were true, why are the main characters female?

Stewart: Hey!!!

Panel five: The Luchador turns and glares at Stewart as Stewart feigns a smile as the sweat poors down his face.

Stewart: …is what horses eat.

Page 11

Panel one: Videl is trying to use her broom as a cane but stumbles, accidentally knocking over a toy on a booth showcasing various types of kaiju and robotic characters in their original boxes. The owner of the booth overreacts while spitting out bits of Ninja Eating Star cereal, with the box nearby as another promotion plug.

Videl: Rrh.

Toy owner: Lady, watch what you’re doing. Do you know how much Gandadanga the Maverick Monster costs?

Panel two: The toy owner is eating more of the Ninja Eating Star cereal as Videl angrily looks at him.

Toy owner: 1,000 dollars. And that’s out of the box unlike the rest of these beauties.

Toy owner: So if you’re having a heart attack go die over by the Woolie Moolie table, like who cares about those overrated patches of fur?

Panel three: Videl suddenly latches out and swings her broom creating a massive wind, knocking all the boxed toys out of their boxes and onto the ground as the toy owner is thrown back by the mystical gust Videl creates with her broom.

Videl: I care little for you and your poppets, you pathetic worm!!!


Panel four: Videl hobbles away as she has to use both hands on her broom to steady herself. In the background the toy owner is crying like he is holding his dead child as a toy resembling Optimus Prime falls apart in his two hands.

Videl thinking: The more my true age festers upon me, the more my body fails and my magic wavers.

Panel five: A close up on Videl’s withered face and her eyes as they look duller but she has a harsher glare to show how frustrated she is becoming.

Videl thinking: And this…location. These…people.

Videl thinking: What would any sane person find redeemable in this conglomeration of society’s weakest dregs….?

Caption: The most sane: Advertisers! We’ll be back after a quick break.


The Archie character names and likenesses are covered by the registered trademarks/copyrights of Archie Comic Publications, Inc. and are used with permission by this site. The Official Archie Comics website can be visited at
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