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New Sabrina comic book miniseries (non-horror) by DeCarlo Rules
[Today at 01:28:13 am]

What comics have you been reading? by rusty
[November 15, 2018, 12:59:56 am]

What are you currently watching? by BettyReggie
[November 14, 2018, 03:39:33 pm]

Days we look foward to as Archie Fans. by BettyReggie
[November 14, 2018, 03:37:27 pm]

Library Books That You All Read by BettyReggie
[November 14, 2018, 03:33:32 pm]

Stan Lee has died by DeCarlo Rules
[November 13, 2018, 11:34:58 am]

Riverdale Reviewed by Tuxedo Mark
[November 11, 2018, 07:04:36 pm]

Sears/Kmart by DeCarlo Rules
[November 11, 2018, 03:48:37 am]

Features by Oldiesmann
[November 10, 2018, 10:21:28 pm]

WARNING about Palladous the freelance writing company by BillysBadFurDay
[October 26, 2018, 04:58:52 am]

* Shoutbox

Refresh History
  • Oldiesmann: RIP Stan Lee :( [link]
    November 12, 2018, 02:04:24 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "Fashion Emergency" from Cherl Blossom #26: [link]
    November 11, 2018, 07:05:28 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Internet outage for nearly 24 hours, but I'm back now. :)
    November 09, 2018, 05:37:49 pm
  • rusty: That is hilarious.
    November 04, 2018, 02:36:07 pm
  • DeCarlo Rules: The funniest thing I've seen all year (and maybe ever)... [link]  :2funny:
    November 04, 2018, 07:12:01 am
  • DeCarlo Rules: It's crazy that ACP hasn't reprinted those 2 issues as a double-size one-shot. Or the lead story in a TP collection of vampire stories (including "Twilite" and others).
    November 04, 2018, 03:21:35 am
  • irishmoxie: That's crazy about those Betty and Veronica issues being worth so much. They're only about 6 years old. I'm pretty sure I have copies of them.
    November 04, 2018, 01:36:00 am
  • DeCarlo Rules: On a relatated note, the real FIRST Vampironica appeared in Larry Welz' underground comic Cherry Poptart #1 [link]. That can be had right now, CGCed at 9.4, at the Buy-It-Now price of $280 on ebay. Although the book had several subsequent printings, only the first printing ($2 cover price) contains the Vampironica story. Much, much scarcer than B&V #261 & 262, but then far fewer people seem to be aware of its existence. It may not be the same Vampironica as the one that appears in her own comic book from ACP, but then you can easily make the argument that neither is the Vampironica from B&V 261-262.
    November 04, 2018, 01:15:09 am
  • rusty: Crazy.  I obviously missed that back then.
    November 03, 2018, 10:06:11 pm
  • DeCarlo Rules: Yes, I mentioned this a while back somewhere around the time Vampironica #1 was first solicted or shipped. I even mentioned it to Dan Parent and told him if he still had copies he should get them CGC'ed.
    November 03, 2018, 04:33:03 pm
  • rusty: Apparently Betty and Veronica #261 and 262 (1987 series) are popular now due to Vampironica.  Somebody actually purchased a copy of #261 for $299 on ebay recently.
    November 03, 2018, 01:41:51 pm
  • archiecomicscollector: I've been watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on no Riverdale means more time in Greendale :)
    November 01, 2018, 10:17:35 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Quite easy. I don't need a new episode every single week.
    November 01, 2018, 09:05:48 pm
  • BettyReggie: How did everyone survive with no Riverdale last Wednesday?
    November 01, 2018, 03:56:28 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: My reviews of the Cheryl stories Psyc-Out [link] Take the Mummy and Run! [link] and A Midsummer's Magic [link]
    October 31, 2018, 10:15:29 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Oh, and there's no "The" in the title.
    October 30, 2018, 10:52:11 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: Just on Netflix for now.
    October 30, 2018, 10:51:44 pm
  • BettyReggie: I can't find The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina on Netflix. Is it just streaming or is it in discs YOU can rent?
    October 30, 2018, 02:17:31 pm
  • Tuxedo Mark: LOL! Nice! A bit too pricey, though: [link]
    October 30, 2018, 01:44:46 pm
  • Oldiesmann: Site is fixed now. Security certificate expired.
    October 24, 2018, 10:23:54 pm

Author Topic: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch  (Read 770 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 13, 2018, 12:19:39 am »
Rhino Insurance.

Panel one: A redneck is sitting on his porch as he watches a rhinos aurous rampaging and knocking over his prized lawnmower. On the man’s bare chest is a bandage to show he got gored.

Caption: You think you’re safe. That it’ll never happen to you. Then a rhinoceros
suddenly appears in your front yard and turns you life inside out!

Redneck: Dat hippo dun-did run me through and tipped over Dale Jr!!!

Panel two: The redneck looks at the caption box

Caption: What you need is rhino insurance!

Redneck: Yee-Haw! Sign me up invisible voice man!

Panel three: A muscular man dressed in safari gear is suddenly running past the redneck who looks on angrily and is reaching for his nearby shotgun.

Outback Dan: Oy! That lolly is on a rampage. I’ll be done in two shakes of a koala!

Redneck: Foreigner!

Redneck: Don’t take my job!

Redneck: Build the wall!

Caption: No! That’s Outback Dan, you’re rhino insurance!

Panel four: The redneck does a victory jig as Outback Dan is posing over the dead rhino.

Redneck: Slap my ma and call ‘er my sister Mary Lou, the mother of my childrens!

Caption: Just ten dollars every month keeps you safe. Another ten and we’ll dispose of the carcass.

Panel five: The Redneck and Outback Dan are eating roast rhino meat as they toast glasses in a cheer with moonshine in small jelly cups. In the background is a giant deepfryer with the horn of the rhino sticking out over the top.

Redneck: Hee-hee. I can take care of that just fine!

Outback Dan: Smacks you in the mouth like a rowdy boomerang, mate.

Caption: Rhino Insurance! Protection against horned, thick skin devils…

Caption: And you might even make a friend!

The Bully Institute

Panel one: The setting is a middle school where a kid has been dumped into a trash bin as a much bigger kid stomps away as he pushes a teacher out of his way.

Caption: Have you ever been beat up, lunch money taken, and shoved into the trash and went—

Kid in trash: Wow! I wish I could do that to other people.

Caption: Well now you can!!

Panel two: A shot of Bully Institute (looking like a prestige college like Harvard) with golden gates with a BI emblem in the center. Outside is a male bully who is pointing at the reader with one hand and shaking his fist with the other. . Looking on is a scared nerd holding out several dollar bills.

Caption: The Bully Institute! Where you can fine hone the craft to dominate the weak. Don’t take my word for it. Here is Dean Frank Fist.

Frank Fist: Nerds think they’re smart. Well, I’m the one who not only beat them up, but I make more money off of how to do it.

Panel three: Inside of a classroom, Frank Fist is yelling at a kid wearing a bandana, vest, and a tattoo with a heart with the word “hate” in it. The kid yells back.

Frank Fist: Establish dominance, you little nancy! If you let one geek off with “this isn’t lunch money, its medicine for my sick sister” they’ll all do it!!

Bully kid: I’ll kick your ass old man!

Frank Fist: That’s better!!!

Panel four: The bully kid is at his phone sending a text as Frank Fist gives him a thumbs up while having the nerd kid from the previous panel in a headlock. The nerd kid’s eyes are popping out of his head and his face is turning red.

Frank Fist: Yes! Insult his gender! And his father’s too! And attach a virus!

Frank Fist: Stomp the throat! Stomp the throat!!

Panel five: Frank Fist is in front of the school as the bully kid is giving the nerd a wedgie. Frank Fist is tripping a random person walking by as he talks to the reader.

Frank Fist: I’m Frank Fist. You think you’re a bully? You’re a punk! I’ll make you the kind of person that will become president!

Frank Fist: I’ll take that self loathing you have inside and help you stick to the world!

Caption: Please bring birth certificate, juvenile records, and list of all misdemeanors when applying.

Page 12 + 13 Double page of Kelly just having fun

Panel one: Kelly is sitting on a table reading a graphic novel titled Awesomes as several nerds watch her with hearts in their eyes. Kelly is enjoying what she reads.

Kelly: Wow! I’m really enjoying what I’m looking at!

Nerds: Us too!!

Panel two: Kelly is sitting in a room where a movie clip is being shown where Captain Courageous is punching a Thanos looking villain, knocking out several of his teeth.

Kelly: Yeah! Make him pay for making all left shoes vanish!

Kelly: WHOOOOOO!!!

Panel three: Kelly is listening in two as a Sheena cosplayer and a Red Sonya cosplayer arguing with each other. The Red Sonya cosplayers lifts up her right foot to show off her boot to make her point. Kelly is really captivated by the argument the two are having.

Violet Wilma: Girlfriend, you do know there is a dress code, right?

Tareena the Jungle Queen: I’m wearing just as much clothing as you are!

Violet Wilma: Erk! Wrong! I’m wearing boots!

Panel four: Kelly is at a booth playing a Halo like game with some kid dressed like Master Chef.

Kid: Check your 2 o’clock!

Kelly: Don’t worry. It’s not that late.

Kid: …Noob Civilians.

Panel five: Kelly is taking a photo with some fans as she has her fangs pressed at one person’s neck as she winks and smiles

Panel six: Kelly is trying to negotiate peace between two rival fan groups: The Trekkies and the Star War fans. The Trekkies have their lasers pointed while the Star Wars fans have their light saber with one geek trying vainly to use the force to attack a Trekkie who is failing with the Vulcan nerve pinch. Each section has a banner reading: Adams

Trekkie: He was ours before he was yours!

Star Wars fanboy: He loves directing our movies now!

Kelly: Boys! You come from the final frontier, and you come from a long, long time ago! The Space-Time Continuum only works in your favor!

Panel seven: Kelly is getting a picture drawn and signed by a comic book artist as she strikes a pose.

Panel eight: Kelly is at a booth with a familiar TV logo. She is happily reading a  99 cent 64 page comic as the comic creator looks on sadly.

Kelly: Wow! All this for less than a dollar?? How do you make a profit?

Hank Derwin: I don’t. Ever since mother stopped paying my rent, I live in a cardboard box in the alleyway.

Page 14

Panel one: Jess is trying to storm away from Trevor, but Trevor follows after her with puppy dog eyes.

Trevor: I love your clavicle bone.

Jess: Do you really want to die in that costume?

Trevor: So you want to see me out of this costume is what I’m hearin’.

Panel two: Jess turns around and yells at Trevor.

Jess: That does it!

Jess: Look, knuckledragger—I don’t want anything to do with you!!

Panel three: Jess shoves Trevor and knocks him into people dressed as the Superhero Union from the Blue Baron comic.

Jess: Because you don’t think about anyone besides yourself!

Panel four: Jess is standing over Trevor as the Superhero Union cosplayers run off as Jess storms towards Trevor.

Jess: Because you’ll say you’re someone’s friend or you love them and when you need them, you’ll screw them over. No you’ll screw someone else over and that person fires them!

Jess: And why because--!!

Panel five: Jess lowers her head as she has a realization about she’s not so innocent either.

Jess: …you were asked to do it. And I asked you to do when I was supposed to be on a date I promised you….

Page 15

Panel one: Jess looks on as Trevor sadly gets to his feet.

Trevor: You’re right, mysterious lady with a bodacious bod. I haven’t lived up to the Code of Courageous

Panel two: Trevor gets on his feet, tilts his head back, and points an index finger in the sky as a confused Jess tilts her head as she looks on.

Trevor: The Code of Courageous! To protect the innocent, drink your milk like a boss—and stay true to the woman you pledge your heart too.

Panel three: Trevor sadly walks away as Jess tries to stop him.

Trevor: I ain’t no hero. I’m just a guy with an extra ab, twenty inch pythons, and only his boss to knock his size 14 boots with!

Panel four: Trevor disappears into a crowd as Jess looks on sadly.

Jess: Wait!....I didn’t…it’s not your---!

Jess: …

Jess: Great! I have about as much self respect as I have clothing on…

Panel five: Jess is startled as Pagan runs in front of her.

Jess: !!

Panel six: A shot of Pagan’s eye as his yellow eyes reflect Jess walking off.

Jess off-panel: And now a black cat crossed my path!

Jess off-panel: Can this night get any worse??

 Page 16
Panel one: Stewart has his head on his booth in abject failure as Jess walks up to him.
Jess: …So everyone loves your comic and you’re going to get that live action adaptation?
Stewart: Yeah. I’m always this happy when I achieve my dreams and acquire vast wealth.
Jess: Well, if it makes you feel better, I just realized I’m a pretty rotten person and I really hate myself right now.
Panel two: Same shot only with Stewart suddenly perked up and Jess rolling her eyes.
Stewart: Heck yeah! Misery loves company!
Panel three: Jess is talking with Stewart as Stewart walks from his booth while shrugging his shoulders.
Jess: And three is company. So have you seen my sidekick?
Stewart: Neither hide nor hair nor fang
Panel four: Jess and Stewart are shocked when a happy Kelly prances in carrying two tradepacks.
Kelly: This has been one of the best days ever!  I met a lot of cool, interesting people and I had my picture taken with people and kids thought I was a real superhero!
Panel five: Kelly shows off her tradepacks of Rat Man The Cat Scratch Dance and Captain Courageous The Underwear Worn Inside of Pants Saga. Jess feigns a smile.
Kelly: Check it, Jess!
Kelly: This one is where Rat Man comes out of retirement to fight his archenemy the The Dastardly Cat in the far distant future of 2025!
Kelly: And this one Captain Courageous leaves planet Earth after The President makes it a law against spit curls and underwear on the outside of your pant!
Jess: That’s…um…great.
Panel six: Kelly wraps her arms around Jess and Stewart as she is smiling ear to ear. Stewart has a small smile on his face as he’s at least happy that Kelly likes comic books now and got into the spirit. Jess twists her lips to her right as she gives in.
Stewart: Well…at least something came out of all of this. Next we’ll work you up to manga.
Kelly: Great. I love Japanese soup!
Jess: And here we go again....
Panel seven: A small panel of Videl’s foot moving forward with Pagan at her heel.
Videl off-panel: Yes, you are going--

« Last Edit: June 13, 2018, 11:41:48 pm by PTF »


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