Ha, I remember seeing this page years ago and thinking Josie was grabbing a handful as well.

Quote from: DeCarlo Rules on June 12, 2016, 03:57:37 PM
Since it's about a girl pop band, I'm sure there will be giant explosions, exciting car chases, gunplay with high caliber weapons, villains falling off tall buildings, and lots of people getting punched in the face.

And that's in just the first panel!

Quote from: BettyReggie on June 10, 2016, 10:16:47 PM
The one where all look sexy, they all look like they are in their 20's . I thought they were supposed be in High School.

Really? I'm not too familiar with J&P. How many stories show them explicitly in high school versus those that don't?

I found #82 at the flea market years ago. At the time, I didn't know it was part of a larger story. It inspired me to write my first Betty fanfic, "Betty Cooper: This is Who I Am", in which Betty kills Archie.

This is a script that I had written and originally posted on the old forum. Another fan started illustrating it but didn't finish.


Internet Star


written: Sunday, August 23, 2009, 6:00 PM - 11:54 PM; Monday, August 24, 2009, 11:00 AM - 11:31 AM


Page 01


Panel 1 (quadruple-sized)

Scene: Archie's bedroom

Archie is sitting at his computer, laughing.

He is watching a video on a YouTube-type site.

The image on the computer screen is of a man that bears a resemblence to a certain, well-known angry game reviewer.

ANGRY GAME REVIEWER:
This game is horrible!


Panel 2

Betty, Veronica, Jughead, and Reggie enter the room.

BETTY:
Archie, your mom said you were up here. We're supposed to practice. Remember?


Panel 3

ARCHIE:
Oh! Sorry, guys. I got caught up in watching this funny video.

REGGIE:
What is it?


Page 02


Panel 1

Betty smiles.

BETTY:
This guy is hilarious! He reviews bad video games and gets all mad about them. He's right up your alley, Reggie.

Reggie looks thoughtful.

REGGIE:
Hmm, I'll have to check his videos out when I get home.


Panel 2

ARCHIE:
He's even put his reviews on DVD and sells them! I have one of them.

Reggie looks even more thoughtful.

REGGIE:
Sells them, huh?


Panel 3

JUGHEAD:
So are we practicing?

REGGIE:
Wait, wait. How much money is he making, Arch?

ARCHIE:
I dunno. He's sold thousands of copies.


Panel 4

REGGIE:
Thousands? Y'know, I bet I can come up with something cool like that.

Betty has an amused grin, her arms folded.

BETTY:
Like what? Showing off your collection of photos of yourself?


Panel 5

Reggie is offended.

REGGIE:
Uh,...no! I'll think of something!

Betty looks smug.

BETTY:
I bet I could top it.


Panel 6

Reggie senses a challenge. He can't resist.

REGGIE:
Oh, yeah? Let's have a contest. Whoever can create a hit Internet series and make the most money in three months wins.

Betty grins.

BETTY:
You're on!

Veronica gets into it.

VERONICA:
Let's up the stakes! Last-place loser has to buy new equipment and a new van for the band!


Page 03


Panel 1

Jughead grins as he decides he wants in.

JUGHEAD:
I want in, too! I can create a hit series!

Veronica is dryly amused.

VERONICA:
That requires <effort>, doofus!

Archie looks thoughtful.

ARCHIE:
Y'know, I bet I could come up with something, too.


Panel 2

VERONICA:
Well, it looks like we're all in. Should we practice?

REGGIE:
Nah! I'm going home to work on my videos!


Panel 3

Reggie, Jughead, Veronica, and Betty head out the door.

Betty waves to Archie as she leaves.

BETTY:
Later, Archie!


Panel 4

CAPTION:
And so the gang starts working on videos...

Scene: Reggie's bedroom

Reggie is sitting in front of a video camera.

Reggie is holding up a super-hero comic book and is angry.

REGGIE:
This comic book is awful!


Panel 5

Scene: Jughead's kitchen

Jughead is dressed in an apron and chef's hat and standing in front of a video camera.

He is busy preparing a hamburger pattie.

JUGHEAD:
Personally, I like adding some blue cheese into the patties.


Panel 6

Scene: Archie's garage

Archie is dressed in work clothes and standing in front of his car (nothing unrealistically old, please).

He is dirty. A video camera nearby records him.

ARCHIE:
I'm going to show you how to change your spaerk plugs. Trust me; I've had a lot of practice.


Page 04


Panel 1

CAPTION:
As the days pass, the guys' videos get plenty of views on the Internet!

Scene: one of Reggie's video's pages

The artist/letterer is free to make up a title for Reggie's comic book review, a hit count, and various comments, which range from calling him funny/cool/etc. to calling him a rip-off.


Panel 2

Scene: one of Jughead's video's pages

The artist/letterer is free to make up a title for Jughead's cooking video, a hit count, and various comments related to his skills and the viewers' opinions after trying his recipe.


Panel 3

Scene: one of Archie's video's pages

The artist/letterer is free to make up a title for Archie's mechanics how-to video, a hit count, and various comments, which range from calling him skillful to telling him to get a newer car.


Panel 4

CAPTION:
As the videos grow in popularity, it seems everyone in Riverdale gets into the act.

Scene: football field

Moose is dressed in full football gear and tackles an unfortunate opponent while Chuck records him.

MOOSE:
This is how you tackle!


Panel 5

Scene: gymnasium

Midge performs a stunt.

MIDGE:
If you need a stuntperson, I'm the right woman for the job!


Panel 6

Scene: Chuck's home studio, angle on a sheet of paper as Chuck draws a super-hero.

CHUCK:
Always take your time and use a pencil, so you can erase your mistakes.


Page 05


Panel 1

Scene: Pickens Park

Betty is sitting on a park bench, feeding birds (finches, parakeets, etc.).

Betty is lost in thought.

Cheryl walks over to her, waving.

CHERYL:
Hi, Betty!


Panel 2

Betty looks at Cheryl.

BETTY:
Oh. Hi, Cheryl.

Cheryl sits to Betty's right on the bench.

CHERYL:
What's wrong?


Panel 3

BETTY:
I've thought of an idea for a great series of videos, but I don't have the money to do it. The guys' videos have already gotten popular. I'm falling behind.


Panel 4

Cheryl smiles.

CHERYL:
I'll make you a deal. I'll give you the money, and, in exchange, you participate in my videos.

BETTY:
Really? That's it?


Panel 5

Cheryl looks embarrassed. Her tongue is sticking out in a cute, anime-like manner.

CHERYL:
Well, that and give me a ride home. I just got out of a dental appointment. I forgot my cell phone at home, and I don't have any cash on me.


Panel 6

Betty hugs Cheryl tightly, taking her my surprise.

BETTY:
You've got a deal!

The birds stare at them, confused and surprised.


Page 06


Panel 1

CAPTION:
The next day...

Scene: Betty's bedroom

Betty is working out some last-minute details on a white tuxedo that Cheryl is modeling.

BETTY:
This really looks good on you. Thank you for paying for the materials.

CHERYL:
My pleasure. You really have a talent for fashion design.


Panel 2

CHERYL:
May I have photos taken for a layout in "Fresh"?

BETTY:
It seems only fair. We'll be using your photography studio.


Panel 3

Scene: Cheryl's home photography studio

Betty and Cheryl model white tuxedos.

BETTY:
These are perfect for prom!


Panel 4

Betty and Cheryl model outfits that make them look like Mirielle (Betty) and Kirika (Cheryl) from the anime series, "Noir". They're holding and pointing guns.


Panel 5

Betty and Cheryl model 1980s-style Rock outfits.

Betty is holding one of those old, bulky microphones and is posed and dressed like Priss Asagiri from the original "Bubblegum Crisis" anime series.

Cheryl is posed and dressed like Eve Tokimatsuri from the "Megazone 23" anime series.

BETTY:
(singing)
Show me your love with your touch! Burning touch!

CHERYL:
(singing)
Love me do! Love me do! Love me doooooo!


Panel 6

Betty and Cheryl are still dressed in their Rock outfits.

BETTY:
Thanks for helping me model, Cheryl.

CHERYL:
No problem. Now, it's time for you to fulfill your part of the deal!


Page 07


Panel 1 (double-length)

CAPTION:
The next day, at Riverdale Auditorium...

Betty, Veronica, and Cheryl are walking up the center aisle, towards the stage, where a guitar, a bass guitar, a synthesizer, an amplifier, and three microphone stands have been set up.

A video camera is set up to record the stage.

VERONICA:
You still haven't told me why I'm here.


Panel 2

CHERYL:
I'm shooting some musical performances, so I can become an Internet Rock sensation, and we need a keyboardist for our band.


Panel 3

Veronica is visibly angry.

VERONICA:
And what incentive do I have to help you with <your> videos?!

Cheryl looks casually smug.

CHERYL:
Simple. Blossom Industries buys and sells companies like Lodge Enterprises.


Panel 4

Veronica is visibly nervous and sweating.

VERONICA:
Uh, well, when you put it <that> way...

Cheryl has the same smug look on her face.

CHERYL:
You learn quickly.


Panel 5

Veronica is suddenly upset again.

VERONICA:
But I'm not gonna be shoved in the background! I want a keytar!

CHERYL:
(dismissively)
Fine, fine.


Page 08


Panel 1 (full-page)

Scene: stage

Cheryl is standing at center and slightly in front of Betty and Veronica. Cheryl is dressed in her Eve Tokimatsuri outfit from earlier and is playing the guitar.

Betty is standing to Cheryl's right, dressed in her Priss Asagiri outfit from earlier and playing the bass guitar.

Veronica is standing to Cheryl's left, dressed like Lynn Minmay from the anime series, "Super-Dimensional Fortress Macross", and playing a keytar.

The girls are rocking out and working up a sweat.

CHERYL:
(singing)
It's so much better going nowhere fast!


Page 09


Panel 1 (quadruple-sized)

CAPTION:
That night...

Scene: Cheryl's bedroom

The girls are having a sleepover.

Betty, Cheryl, and Veronica are spread out on Cheryl's plush carpet, wearing their pajamas.

CD jewel cases (including an animated version of the "Josie and the Pussycats" movie soundtrack album cover), candy bar wrappers, crushed soda cans, etc. litter the floor. The girls are shameless slobs when no one's looking.

Cheryl's expensive stereo system on her dresser is blaring music.

STEREO:
(singing)
...and those three small words were way too late...

Betty, Cheryl, and Veronica are drinking cans of cola.

VERONICA:
That was fun!

BETTY:
Now comes the tedious part: trying to sell copies of our videos to people.

CHERYL:
You're on your own for that, sweetie.


Panel 2

Betty and Cheryl shake hands.

BETTY:
May the best girl win!


Panel 3

Veronica looks smug.

VERONICA:
I've <already> won. My videos will rock your socks.


Page 10


Panel 1

CAPTION:
Soon, the girls' videos get lots of views.

Scene: one of Betty's video's pages

The artist/letterer is free to make up a title for Betty's fashion video, a hit count, and various comments, which praise Betty's fashions and the girls themselves.


Panel 2

Scene: one of Cheryl's video's pages

The artist/letterer is free to make up a title for Cheryl's Rock video, a hit count, and various comments, which generally praise the girls but occasionally suggest ditching Veronica, putting Betty on lead vocals, and so forth.


Panel 3

Scene: one of Veronica's video's pages

We don't see what Veronica's video is. The artist/letterer is free to make up a hit count and various comments, which are uniformly negative (except to express hilarity) and generally express "You've gotta be kidding me", "Get a life", and so forth.


Panel 4

CAPTION:
As their popularity increases, the girls make DVDs of their videos and sell them.

Scene: Betty's bedroom

There are stacks of DVDs, stacks of envelopes, etc., piled about. A stack of labels is printing out of Betty's computer printer.

Betty is sitting on her bed and hand-writing an address on an envelope.


Panel 5

Scene: a media publisher owned by Blossom Industries

Cheryl has a decidedly easier time getting her DVDs out.

She watches in satisfaction, arms folded, as her DVDs are burned, labelled, packaged, and shipped out.


Panel 6

Scene: Veronica's bedroom

Veronica is sitting at her computer, checking her e-mail in frustration.

Behind her, stacks of DVDs sit on her bed.


Page 11


Panel 1

CAPTION:
A few weeks later...

Scene: Pop's

Archie, Jughead, and Reggie are sitting on one side of a booth. Betty, Cheryl, and Veronica are sitting on the other side.

They are eating a large pepperoni pizza.

ARCHIE:
Okay, everyone, let's see who won. Reggie?

REGGIE:
My videos were hits, but, when I tried selling them on DVD, I got sued by every comic book company in America.

Cheryl smiles in amusement.

CHERYL:
You stupid sack of $#|t.


Panel 2

ARCHIE:
Jughead?

JUGHEAD:
I made around $5,000...and got some offers from some culinary schools.


Panel 3

ARCHIE:
Betty?

Betty hugs Cheryl with one arm.

BETTY:
I made over $10,000 and got a job at "Fresh" - thanks to my best girl!

Cheryl holds up the latest issue of "Fresh". Betty and Cheryl are featured on the front cover.

CHERYL:
And I got an awesome photo shoot out of it.


Panel 4

ARCHIE:
Cheryl?

CHERYL:
I made over $1,000,000. Chump change, really. I still win, though, unless you or Veronica somehow outdid me.


Panel 5

Archie looks embarrassed.

ARCHIE:
Um, I made nothing, and I owe my dad a lot of money for car parts.


Panel 6

BETTY:
What about you, Ronnie?

Veronica looks embarrassed.

VERONICA:
Um, well...


Page 12


Panel 1

VERONICA:
Okay, I admit it. My idea was a bust. I must face the sad reality that there's not much demand for videos of watching me shop.


Panel 2

Cheryl pumps a fist in the air.

CHERYL:
I win!

Veronica frowns.

VERONICA:
Were you even officially part of the contest?


Panel 3 (quadruple-sized)

Scene: Betty's driveway

Delivery people are packing brand-new band equipment (similar to above) into a brand-new van.

A logo that reads "Sugar Cherries" is on the side of the van.

Betty and Cheryl are standing by, overseeing everything. Betty is smiling. Cheryl is all-business.

CHERYL:
C'mon, people! Hurry up! We gotta get to Mega Records to play for those producers! This could be our big break! Chop, chop!

Veronica is angrily writing a check for a delivery man, who's holding out his hand for it.

Archie, Jughead, and Reggie are standing in the background, looking confused.

Archie is scratching his head.

ARCHIE:
What just happened?


The End

OMG, Shonen Knife reference! "Tortoise brand pot cleaner. Specially selected pot cleaner. The best pot cleaner in the world is specially selected Tortoise brand!"

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to this series (even though I just learned about it today, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised).

So J&P are based in Riverdale now?

Introduction:

For the past few years, I have done a sliding timeline post. Archie Comics seems to keep the main characters at around the same age (it varies here and there), so, logically, each year, the characters' birthdates are advanced by one year.

Since the senior class at my old high school graduated today, it seems the school year is over, so it's time for a lovely refresh.

According to Wikipedia, there is 1 person born in 1899 verified to still be alive:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oldest_living_people

The oldest living former U.S. President was born on June 12, 1924. The current Pope was born on December 17, 1936.

Taking into account only the people that are still alive today, there was 1 person in the world at the end of the 1800s, there were 3 people at the end of the 19th century, the oldest person at the end of the 1900s was 10, 1910s: 20, 1920s: 30, 1930s: 40, 1940s: 50, 1950s: 60, 1960s: 70, 1970s: 80, 1980s: 90, 1990s: 100, and 2000s: 110.

Needless to say, it'll be a while before we have to say the original Betty, Archie, and Jughead, introduced in Pep #22 in 1941, are dead.

For the purpose of this post, I make the assumption that the characters are graduating next year, aged 18 years old, so they were born in 1999. I also assume the summer stories that we see in the comics occur during the summer before senior year (there are at least two comic stories that establish this), and the school-year stories occur during senior year (at least one 1970s story establishes this). I know there's at least one story where they're explicitly high school juniors, and that's the position of the official Archie Comics site (in their character profiles), so, if anything, the assumptions in this post are too conservative.

What this post attempts to do is try to figure out the characters' perspective and frame of reference for viewing the world. This can also be useful for the Archie Comics writers when writing new stories.

As we enter a new cycle of Archie Comics stories, another shift occurs, and 1998 is lost; the characters never experienced it. Of course, I'm aware that people can become aware of things (music, movies, television series, video games, books, etc.) that came out before they were born, but they weren't there "as it happened", and thus these things hold no nostalgic value to them. Also, keep in mind that people generally don't remember things before the age of two (in this case, 2001).

In addition to updating the information, I have sorted it into rough chronological order as the characters would have experienced them (or, in the cases of pre-birth events, wouldn't have experienced them).

Education:

The Columbine High School massacre occurred in the year of their birth.

No Child Left Behind went into effect before they entered kindergarten. Major parts of it were repealed when they were in eleventh grade (junior year).

They have attended school entirely in the 21st century.

They attended elementary school (grades K-5) from 2004 to 2010.

The Virginia Tech massacre occurred when they were in second grade.

They attended junior high / middle school (grades 6-8) from 2010 to 2013.

Skylar Neese was murdered by Sheila Eddy and Rachel Shoaf during their summer vacation between seventh and eighth grades.

The Sandy Hook massacre occurred when they were in eighth grade (junior high).

They started high school in 2013.

They were in tenth grade (sophomore year) when junior Maren Sanchez was murdered at school by Chris Plaskon.

There is likely a gay-straight alliance at their school.

They were in eleventh grade (junior year) when sophomore Dorothy Dutiel murdered her girlfriend, sophomore May Kieu, at school and then killed herself.

There are likely transgender students at their school.

The freshmen and sophomores in their school were born in the 21st century.

World events:

Germany has always been one nation.

It's always been Russia, not the Soviet Union.

Poland has always been a republic.

The Americans with Disabilities Act has always been in effect.

The Czech Republic and Slovakia have always been separate nations.

The European Union has always existed.

Bill Clinton was President when they were born.

George Pataki was Governor of New York when they were born.

Christine Todd Whitman was Governor of New Jersey when they were born.

Jean Chrétien was Prime Minister of Canada when they were born.

Tony Blair was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom when they were born.

Jacques Chirac was President of France when they were born.

Aleksander Kwasniewski was President of Poland when they were born.

Gerhard Schröder was Chancellor of Germany when they were born.

Boris Yeltsin was President of Russia when they were born.

José María Alfredo Aznar López was Prime Minister of Spain when they were born.

Either Oscar Luigi Scarfaro or Carlo Azeglio Ciampi was President of Italy when they were born.

John Howard was Prime Minister of Australia when they were born.

They've never shared the Earth with anyone born in 1879 or earlier.

Hong Kong has always been controlled by China.

They were 1 or 2 during the 9/11 attacks and hadn't entered kindergarten yet.

They were 3 or 4 when the Iraq War began and 11 or 12 and in seventh grade (junior high) when it ended.

They were 5 or 6 and in kindergarten when Pope Benedict XVI took office.

They were 9 or 10 and in fourth grade when Barack Obama became President.

They were 13 or 14 and in eighth grade (junior high) when Pope Francis took office.

They were 15 or 16 and out of school for the summer before eleventh grade (junior year) when marriage equality was achieved in the United States.

Economics:

Movie tickets have never been below $4.69.

A U.S. domestic postage stamp to deliver a one-ounce letter has never cost less than 32 cents.

A standard comic book from DC or Marvel has never cost less than $1.95.

Family:

Most of their parents likely went to high school in the late 1980s and/or early 1990s. At the youngest, while conceiving as adults, they would have been born in 1980 and graduated high school in 1998.

Polly Cooper likely went to high school in the mid-2000s.

Technology:

The World Wide Web is older than them.

The Nintendo Entertainment System, Sega Master System, Nintendo Virtual Boy, Sega Game Gear, Sega CD, Sega 32X, Sega Saturn, and Sega Pico have always been discontinued.

There have always been feature-length films made entirely of CGI.

They've always had cell phones.

Windows 98 is older than them.

DVDs have always been around.

Digital high-definition television has always been around.

Super Audio CD debuted in the year of their birth and was deemed a failure when they were 7 or 8.

LAUNCHcast debuted in the year of their birth and were 13-15 when Yahoo! Music Radio shut down.

If they're Nintendo fans, their first video game system was likely the Nintendo 64 (its debut predates them) or Nintendo Gamecube (it came out when they were 1 or 2).

If they're Sega fans, their first and only video game system was the Sega Dreamcast; it came out in the year of their birth and was discontinued when they were 1 or 2.

If they're Sony fans, their first video game system was likely the Sony PlayStation (its debut predates them) or Sony PlayStation 2 (it came out when they were 0 or 1).

If they're Microsoft fans, their first video game system was likely the Microsoft Xbox (it came out when they were 1 or 2).

If they're Nintendo fans, their first portable video game system was likely the Game Boy Pocket (its debut predates them) or Game Boy Advance (it came out when they were 1 or 2).

If they're Sega fans, their first and only portable video game system was the Sega Nomad (its debut predates them).

If they're Sony fans, their first portable video game system was likely the PlayStation Portable (PSP) (it came out when they were 5 or 6).

They were 0 or 1 when the forerunner of Pandora Internet Radio debuted and 4 or 5 when Pandora.com launched.

They were 0 or 1 when Windows ME debuted and 6 or 7 when extended support ended.

They were 0 or 1 when DVD-Audio debuted and 7 or 8 when it became extinct.

They were 1 or 2 when Windows XP debuted and 14 or 15 when extended support ended.

They were 1 or 2 when Windows 1.0, Windows 2.0, Windows 2.1x, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1x, and Windows 95 extended support ended.

They were 1 or 2 when the first iPod and iTunes debuted and 3 or 4 when Windows support was added.

Music on cassette tapes is a distant memory. Most of the major U.S. music companies had discontinued them when they were 3 or 4.

They were 4 or 5 when the "W.I.T.C.H." animated series started and 6 or 7 when it ended.

YouTube debuted when they were 5 or 6.

They were 5 or 6 when the Microsoft Xbox 360 debuted.

The last major Hollywood motion picture that was released on VHS in the U.S. came out when they were 6 or 7. The final standalone VCR from JVC came out, and the last major truckload of prerecorded VHS tapes were shipped, when they were 8 or 9.

YouPorn debuted when they were 6 or 7.

They were 6 or 7 when Windows 98 extended support ended.

They were 6 or 7 when Blu-ray (ROM and rewriteable) debuted.

They were 6 or 7 when the Sony PlayStation was discontinued and the Nintendo Wii and Sony PlayStation 3 debuted.

They were 7 or 8 when Windows Vista debuted.

They were 7 or 8 when the first iPhone debuted.

They were 8 or 9 when HD DVD was discontinued.

They were 8 or 9 when HDtracks debuted.

They were 8 or 9 when the Microsoft Xbox was discontinued.

They were 9 or 10 when Windows 7 debuted.

They were 10 or 11 when the first iPad debuted.

They were 10 or 11 when Netflix started offering a stand-alone streaming service.

Pop's would have Wi-Fi and coffee to compete with Starbucks.

The gang is wired. They're able to text each other via cell phone, watch the latest music videos on YouTube or on televisions in the mall's food court, and use their laptops and tablets wherever there's Wi-Fi access.

They were 12 or 13 when Windows 8 debuted.

They were 12 or 13 when the Nintendo Wii U debuted.

They were 13 or 14 when Windows 8.1 debuted.

They were 13 or 14 when High Fidelity Pure Audio debuted.

They were 13 or 14 when the Sony PlayStation 2 was discontinued and the Sony PlayStation 4 and Microsoft Xbox One debuted.

They were 14 or 15 when Pono debuted.

They were 14 or 15 when Apple Pay debuted.

They were 15 or 16 when Android Pay and Samsung Pay debuted.

They were 15 or 16 when Windows 10 debuted.

Pop culture:

Celebrities that are older than them:

Ariel Winter
Mary Elle Fanning
Jaden Smith
China Anne McClain

Songs that predate them:

C'est la Vie - B*Witched
Cruel Summer - Ace of Base
One Week - Barenaked Ladies
Ray of Light - Madonna

Television series that predate them:

Living Single
The Secret World of Alex Mack
Spider-Man (1994 series)
Grace Under Fire
Bobby's World
101 Dalmations: The Series
Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation
Sam & Max
Seinfeld
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
Murphy Brown
Team Knight Rider
The Larry Sanders Show
Geraldo
Bill Nye the Science Guy
Step by Step
Family Matters
Timecop
Weird Science
Animaniacs
Pinky and the Brain
Goosebumps
Power Rangers in Space
Babylon 5

Movies that predate them:

Armageddon
Saving Private Ryan
Godzilla (1998)
There's Something About Mary
A Bug's Life
Deep Impact
Mulan
Dr. Dolittle
Shakespeare in Love
Lethal Weapon 4
American History X
An American Tail: The Treasure of Manhattan Island
Apt Pupil
The Avengers (1998)
Babe: Pig in the City
BASEketball
The Big Lebowski
Blade
Blues Brothers 2000
Bride of Chucky
Can't Hardly Wait
City of Angels
Dangerous Beauty
Dark City
Elizabeth
Ever After
The Faculty
Great Expectations
Halloween H2O: 20 Years Later
Hard Rain
Holy Man
Home Fries
Hope Floats
The Horse Whisperer
How Stella Got Her Groove Back
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
Jack Frost
Les Misérables (1998)
Lost in Space
Madeline
The Man in the Iron Mask
The Mask of Zorro
Mighty Joe Young
My Giant
A Night at the Roxbury
The Object of My Affection
The Odd Couple II
One True Thing
The Opposite of Sex
Palmetto
The Parent Trap
Paulie
A Perfect Murder
Pleasantville
Pocahonyas II: Journey to a New World
Practical Magic
A Price Above Rubies
Primary Colors
The Prince of Egypt
Psycho
Quest for Camelot
The Replacement Killers
Ringmaster
Rounders
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Movie
The Rugrats Movie
Rush Hour
Senseless
The Siege
Since You've Been Gone
Six Days Seven Nights
Small Soldiers
Soldier
Species II
Sphere
Star Kid
Star Trek: Insurrection
Stepmom
The Swan Princess: The Mystery of the Enchanted Kingdom
The Thin Red Line
The Truman Show
Twilight (1998)
U.S. Marshals
Urban Legend
Vampires
Very Bad Things
The Waterboy
The Wedding Singer
What Dreams May Come
Why Do Fools Fall in Love
Wide Awake
Wild Things
Wrongfully Accused
The X-Files: Fight the Future
You've Got Mail

Rap music has always been mainstream.

The Mega Man Internet fandom has always existed.

Starbucks has always been nationwide.

Cartoon Network has always existed.

They grew up with anime. Sailor Moon has been fighting evil by moonlight and winning love by daylight since before they were born.

O.J. Simpson has always been absolutely, 100% not guilty - but still liable.

E3 and GameFAQs have always been around.

Women have always been kissing each other on television.

The Captain N Internet fandom has always existed.

Porn and erotic fiction have always been freely available on the Internet.

Disney Channel has always been a regular cable channel.

BBC America has always been around.

Pax TV / Ion Television has always been around.

It was never The Family Channel. It always had Fox or ABC in the title until it was renamed to Freeform.

Ash Ketchum has always been trying to become the world's greatest Pokémon Master.

Sonny Bono, Jack Lord, Linda McCartney, Phil Hartman, Roy Rogers, Buffalo Bob Smith, Michelle Thomas, Falco, and Frank Sinatra have always been dead.

Josh Hartnett, Lindsay Lohan, Taye Diggs, Eva Mendes, Jason Statham, Jason Segel, Jordana Brewster, Rebecca Romijn, Kate Bosworth, Jason Schwartzman, Cedric the Entertainer, and Cillian Murphy have always been acting.

FanFiction.Net has always been around.

They were born during Season 10 or 11 of "The Simpsons".

They were born during Season 9 or 10 of "Beverly Hills, 90210".

They were born during Season 9 or 10 of "Law & Order".

They were born during or after "Highlander: The Raven".

The Saved by the Bell of their childhoods was The New Class (Goddess help them). They were born during Season 6 (reruns) or 7.

They were born during or after Season 7 of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine".

They were born during Season 5 or 6 of "Star Trek: Voyager".

They were born during Season 5 or 6 of "Party of Five".

They were born during Season 3 or 4 of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".

They were born during Season 1 or 2 of "Charmed".

"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" premiered in the year of their birth.

"Angel" premiered in the year of their birth.

The first "Babylon 5" movie released in their lifetime was either "A Call to Arms" or "The Legend of the Rangers".

The first Stephen King book published in their lifetime was "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" or "Dreamcatcher".

The first James Bond movie released in their lifetime was either "The World Is Not Enough" (#19) or "Die Another Day" (#20), starring Pierce Brosnan.

The first Halloween movie released in their lifetime was "Halloween: Resurrection" (#8).

The first A Nightmare on Elm Street movie released in their lifetime was "Freddy vs. Jason" (#8).

The first Highlander movie released in their lifetime was "Highlander: Endgame".

The first Batman movie released in their lifetime was "Batman Begins".

The first Disney theatrical animated film released in their lifetime was "Doug's First Movie", "Tarzan", "Toy Story 2", "Fantasia 2000", or "The Tigger Movie".

The first Mario (platform) game (starring him) released in their lifetime (in the U.S.) was "Super Mario Advance" on the Game Boy Advance.

The first Castlevania game released in their lifetime (in the U.S.) was "Castlevania" or "Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness" on the Nintendo 64 or "Castlevania: Circle of the Moon" on the Game Boy Advance.

The first Mega Man game released in their lifetime (in the U.S.) was either "Mega Man Legends 2" or "Mega Man X5" on the Sony PlayStation and PC.

The first Final Fantasy game released in their lifetime (in the U.S.) was "Final Fantasy Anthology", "Final Fantasy VIII", or "Final Fantasy Anthology IX" on the Sony PlayStation.

The first The Legend of Zelda game released in their lifetime (in the U.S.) was Majora's Mask.

The first Street Fighter game (excluding updates) released in their lifetime (in the U.S.) was "Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike".

The first Mortal Kombat game released in their lifetime was "Mortal Kombat Gold" or "Mortal Kombat: Special Forces".

The first Sonic the Hedgehog game released in their lifetime (in the U.S.) was "Sonic Adventure", "Sonic the Hedgehog Pocket Adventure", or "Sonic Shuffle".

The first Resident Evil game released in their lifetime was either "Resident Evil 3: Nemesis" or "Resident Evil Survivor".

The first Kiss albums released in their lifetime were "Sonic Boom" (studio) and "Kiss Symphony: Alive IV" (live).

The first Bruce Springsteen album released in their lifetime was "The Rising".

The first Michael Jackson album released in their lifetime was "Invincible".

The first Avalon novel released in their lifetime was "Priestess of Avalon".

The first Madonna albums released in their lifetime were "Music" (studio) and "GHV2" (compilation).

The first Metallica albums released in their lifetime were "S&M" (live) and "St. Anger" (studio).

The first Sheryl Crow album released in their lifetime was "Live from Central Park" (live) or "C'mon, C'mon" (studio).

The first Harry Potter book released in their lifetime (in the U.S.) was "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (#2), "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" (#3), or "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (#4); they were 7 or 8 when the series ended (theatrically, they were 1/2 when the series started and 11/12 when the series ended).

The first Backstreet Boys album released in their lifetime was "Millennium" or "Black & Blue".

The first NSYNC album released in their lifetime was "No Strings Attached".

They were born during Season 1 (reruns) or 2 of "Sex and the City"; it ended when they were 4 or 5.

Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera released their first albums in the year of their birth.

The American Pie series started in the year of their birth, and they were 12 or 13 when the latest film came out.

The Veronicas formed in the year of their birth; they were 6 or 7 when their first album debuted (in the U.S.).

The Star Wars of their childhoods was Episodes I (maybe), II, and III.

"Mobile Suit Gundam Wing" premiered in the U.S. on Cartoon Network's Toonami when they were 0 or 1.

The first A Song of Ice and Fire novel released in their lifetime was "A Storm of Swords" (#3).

They were 0 or 1 when the "Daughters of the Moon" novel series started and 4 or 5 when it ended.

They were 0 or 1 when "Gilmore Girls" premiered and 7 or 8 when it ended.

The first Marvel movie released in their lifetime was "X-Men".

They were 1 or 2 when the Bratz doll line started.

The first Barbie movie released in their lifetime was "Barbie in the Nutcracker".

They were 1 or 2 when "The Mists of Avalon" (miniseries) came out.

They were 1 or 2 when the "Avalon: Web of Magic" novel series started and 10 or 11 when it ended with a manga sequel.

They were 1 or 2 when Eden's Crush came out with their singles and sole full-length album.

They were 1 or 2 when the Lord of the Rings film trilogy started and 3 or 4 when it ended.

They were 1 or 2 when "Yu-Gi-Oh!" premiered in the U.S. and 7 or 8 when it ended.

They were 1 or 2 when "Smallville" premiered and 11 or 12 when it ended.

They were 2 or 3 when Here TV premiered.

The first Friday the 13th movie released in their lifetime was "Jason X" (#10).

The first Halloween movie released in their lifetime was "Halloween: Resurrection" (#8).

They were 2 or 3 when the My Scene doll line started.

They were 2 or 3 when "Birds of Prey" premiered and 3 or 4 when it ended.

They were 2 or 3 when the "Resident Evil" film series started.

They were 2 or 3 when the "Gossip Girl" book series started and 11 or 12 when it ended.

The first Star Trek movie released in their lifetime was "Star Trek: Nemesis". It came out when they were 2 or 3.

They were 3 or 4 when Evanescence released their first album.

They were 3 or 4 when the Flavas doll line started and 4 or 5 when it was cancelled.

The first Terminator movie released in their lifetime was "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines". It came out when they were 3 or 4.

They were 3 or 4 when the first Black Eyed Peas album featuring Fergie was released.

They were 3 or 4 when "The Walking Dead" comic book series started.

They were 3 or 4 when the "Underworld" film series started.

They were 3 or 4 when "Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon" premiered in Japan and 5 or 6 when it ended. Perhaps they or their parents downloaded the fan-subbed episodes as they became available on IRC.

They were 4 or 5 when Facebook debuted.

They were 4 or 5 when the "Sons of the Dark" novel series started and 7 or 8 when it ended.

They were 4 or 5 when "Winx Club" premiered (in the U.S.).

They were 4 or 5 when The Bride killed Bill.

They were 4 or 5 when "Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence" was released (in the U.S.).

They were 4 or 5 when "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex" premiered (in the U.S.) and 6 or 7 when "2nd GIG" ended.

They were 4 or 5 when "The L Word" premiered and 9 or 10 when it ended.

The first Wild Things film released in their lifetime was "Wild Things 2". They were 10 or 11 when the latest movie, "Wild Things: Foursome", came out.

They were 5 or 6 when "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl" premiered and ended.

They were 5 or 6 when Logo TV premiered.

They were 5 or 6 when Tyler Perry released his first movie.

They were 5 or 6 when The Pussycat Dolls released their first album, 8 or 9 when the second album was released, and 10 or 11 when the group disbanded.

They were 5 or 6 when Bella met Edward and 8 or 9 when they got married (theatrically, they were 8/9 and 12/13, respectively).

The Angry Video Game Nerd debuted on YouTube when they were 6 or 7.

They were 6 or 7 when Taylor Swift released her first album.

They were 6 or 7 when Sasha Grey started her adult film career and 10 or 11 when she retired.

They were 6 or 7 when the "Pretty Little Liars" book series started and 14 or 15 when it ended.

They were 7 or 8 when "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex - Solid State Society" was released (in the U.S.).

They were 7 or 8 when "Bionic Woman" premiered and ended.

They were 7 or 8 when Colbie Caillat released her first album.

They were 7 or 8 when Girlicious formed and 11 or 12 when they disbanded.

They were 7 or 8 when "Gossip Girl" premiered and 12 or 13 when it ended.

They were 7 or 8 when "Mad Men" premiered and 15 or 16 when it ended.

They were 7 or 8 when "The Big Bang Theory" premiered.

They've been going Gaga for the Lady since they were 8 or 9.

They were 8 or 9 when Katy Perry released her first mainstream album.

They were 8 or 9 when the Marvel Cinematic Universe started with "Iron Man".

They were 8 or 9 when "The Hunger Games" came out and 10 or 11 when the series ended (theatrically, they were 12/13 and 15/16, respectively).

They were 8 or 9 when "Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight" premiered and 9 or 10 when it ended, the last two episodes available exclusively online.

Michael Jackson died during their summer vacation before they entered fifth grade (elementary school).

They were 9 or 10 when "Watchmen" came out.

The first The Vampire Diaries novel published in their lifetime was "The Return: Nightfall".

They were 9 or 10 when "Glee" premiered and 15 or 16 when it ended.

They were 9 or 10 when "The Vampire Diaries" premiered.

They were 9 or 10 when School Gyrlz (later known as Forever) formed, 10 or 11 when they released their first album, and 12 or 13 when the group disbanded.

The first Disney Princess introduced in their lifetime was Tiana.

They were 10 or 11 when the Monster High doll line started.

They were 10 or 11 when "Pretty Little Liars" premiered.

They were 10 or 11 when "The Walking Dead" television series premiered.

They were 10 or 11 when the remake of "I Spit on Your Grave" came out.

They were 10 or 11 when the "Megaman" fan film came out.

They were 10 or 11 when "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" premiered.

They were 11 or 12 when Nicole Scherzinger released her first solo album and 14 or 15 when she released her second one.

They were 11 or 12 when "Game of Thrones" premiered.

They were 11 or 12 when "Divergent" came out and 14 or 15 when the series ended (theatrically, they were 14/15 when the first film came out and 16/17 when Allegiant came out).

They were 11 or 12 when "The Secret Circle" premiered and 12 or 13 when it ended. The novel series then resumed, ending when they were 13 or 14.

The Star Trek of their childhoods were Deep Space Nine (Season 7), Voyager (Seasons 5-7), Enterprise, Nemesis, and Star Trek (2009).

The Charlie's Angels of their childhoods were the theatrical films and the short-lived reboot series. They came out when they were 0/1, 3/4, and 11/12, respectively.

The Transformers of their childhoods were Beast Wars (episode 44 onward), Beast Machines, Robots in Disguise (2001), Armada, Energon, Cybertron, the first three live-action films, and Animated.

The G.I. Joe of their childhoods were Spy Troops, Valor vs. Venom, Ninja Battles, Sigma 6, Resolute, The Rise of Cobra, and Renegades.

The Power Rangers of their childhoods were in Space (possible reruns), Lost Galaxy, Lightspeed Rescue, Time Force, Wild Force, Ninja Storm, Dino Thunder, S.P.D., Mystic Force, Operation Overdrive, Jungle Fury, RPM, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (re-versioned), and Samurai.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of their childhoods were the 2003 4Kids animated series, the 2007 "TMNT" CGI film, and Turtles Forever.

Music artists of their pre-teen years: Christina Aguilera, Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, Britney Spears, Eden's Crush, Black Eyed Peas, Evanescence, Pussycat Dolls, Taylor Swift, Fergie, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Marie Digby, Ke$ha, Nicole Scherzinger, Ellie Goulding

Thwy were 12 or 13 when the Bratzillaz (House of Witchez) doll line started and 13 or 14 when it was cancelled.

They were 12 or 13 when the revised editions of the Fifty Shades trilogy were published (theatrically, they were 15/16 when the first film came out).

They were 12 or 13 when the "Lost in Praha" adult short film, starring Ariel, came out.

They were 12 or 13 when "Girls" premiered.

They were 12 or 13 when "The Legend of Korra" premiered and 14 or 15 when it ended.

They were 12 or 13 when the "Castlevania: Hymn of Blood" miniseries was released on YouTube.

They were 12 or 13 when the Hobbit film trilogy started and 14 or 15 when it ended.

They were 13 or 14 when the Ever After High doll line started.

They were 13 or 14 when "My Little Pony: Equestria Girls" came out.

They were 13 or 14 when "I Spit on Your Grave 2" came out.

They were 14 or 15 when "Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal" premiered.

They were 14 or 15 when Belle Knox started her adult film career.

They were 14 or 15 when the "Ghost in the Shell: Arise" OVAs were released (in the U.S.).

The Star Trek of their teenage years is "Star Trek Into Darkness" and "Star Trek Beyond".

The Transformers of their teenage years are Prime, Rescue Bots, the fourth live-action film, and Robots in Disguise (2015).

The G.I. Joe of their teenage years is Retaliation.

The Power Rangers of their teenage years are Super Samurai, Megaforce, Super Megaforce, Dino Charge, and Dino Super Charge.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of their teenage years is the 2012 Nickelodeon animated series, the 2014 live-action film, and the 2016 sequel (Out of the Shadows).

Music artists of their teen years: Carly Rae Jepsen, Lorde, Meghan Trainor, Ariana Grande

Betty is more likely to share her problems on Facebook, LiveJournal, Tumblr, and YouTube, rather than writing them down in a diary. Privacy? What's that? If she does keep a diary, it'd likely be on a flash drive, not in a book.

Besties with benefits is totally a thing.

They were 15 or 16 when "Fear the Walking Dead" premiered.

They were 15 or 16 when "Supergirl" premiered.

They were 15 or 16 when "I Spit on Your Grave III: Vengeance is Mine" came out.

They were 15 or 16 when "Jem and the Holograms" (the movie) came out.

The Star Wars of their teenage years is Episode VII and Rogue One.

They were 16 or 17 when "Fuller House" premiered on Netflix.

They were 16 or 17 when "Ghost in the Shell: The New Movie" was released (in the U.S.).

Real-world Archie Comics timeline:

The gang was born after the following series had concluded and one-shots had debuted:

(Adventures of) Katy Keene (Comics, a.k.a. Vol. 1)
(The Adventures of) Little Archie (Giant Comics)
Archie 3000!
Archie and His Pals in The Peer Helping Program
Archie and Inspector Sammy Terry
Archie and Me
Archie and His Friends Help Raise Literary Awareness in Mississippi
Archie and His Pals in...the Peer Helping Program!
Archie and the History of Electronics
Archie and Inspector Sammy Terry
Archie Annual
Archie Annual Digest Magazine
Archie as Pureheart the Powerful / Archie as Captain Pureheart
Archie at Riverdale High
Archie...Archie Andrews, Where Are You? Comics Digest Magazine
Archie Giant Series Magazine
Archie Meets the Punisher / The Punisher Meets Archie
Archie's Activity Comics Digest Magazine
Archie's Girls Betty and Veronica
Archie's Girls Betty and Veronica Annual
Archie's Ham Radio Adventure
Archie's Joke Book Magazine
Archie's Mechanics
(Archie's Pal) Jughead (first series)
Archie's Pal Jughead Annual
Archie's Pals 'N' Gals
Archie's R/C Racers
(Archie's Rival) Reggie / Reggie and Me
(Archie's) Riverdale High
Archie's Story and Game Digest Magazine
Archie's Super Hero Special
Archie's T.V. Laugh-out
Betty and Veronica Annual Digest Magazine
Betty's Diary
Betty's Digest Magazine
Cheryl Blossom Special
Cheryl Blossom (first miniseries)
Cheryl Blossom (second miniseries)
Cheryl Blossom (third miniseries)
Chilling Adventures in Sorcery (as Told by Sabrina)
Christmas and Archie
Everything's Archie
Ginger
Jackpot Comics
Josie and the Pussycats
Jughead as Captain Hero
The Jughead Jones (Comics) Digest (Magazine)
Jughead's Baby Tales
Jughead's Diner
Jughead's Fantasy
Jughead's Folly
Jughead's Jokes
Jughead's Pal Hot Dog
Jughead's Time Police
Katy Keene 3-D
Katy Keene Annual
Katy Keene Charm
Katy Keene Comics Digest Magazine
Katy Keene Fashion Book Magazine (Vol. 1)
Katy Keene Fashion Book Magazine (Vol. 2)
Katy Keene Glamour
Katy Keene Pin-Up Parade
Katy Keene (Special, a.k.a. Vol. 2)
Katy Keene Spectacular
Laugh (Vol. 3)
Laugh (Comics, a.k.a. Vol. 2)
Life With Archie
Li'l Jinx
Li'l Jinx Giant Laugh-Out
Little Archie Comics Digest Annual/Magazine
Little Archie In Animal Land
Little Archie Mystery Comics
The New Archies
The New Archies Comics Digest Magazine
Pep (Comics)
Reggie's Revenge!
Reggie's "Wise Guy" Jokes
Sabrina The Teen-Age Witch (a.k.a. Vol. 1)
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (one-shot)
Sabrina's Halloween Spooktacular / Sabrina's Holiday Spectacular
(She's) Josie (and the Pussycats)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles meet Archie
That Wilkin Boy
To Riverdale and Back Again
Top-Notch (Laugh) Comics / Laugh Comix (a.k.a. Vol. 1) / Suzie Comics
Veronica's (Passport) Digest Magazine
World of Archie

The gang was born after the following other media came out:

the Archie Andrews radio show
the various Filmation series
the various Hanna-Barbera series
The New Archies
Archie: To Riverdale and Back Again
the Riverdale High prose novels
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV movie)
Sabrina Goes to Rome
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV series, episodes 01-61)

The gang was born after the following issues came out:

Archie (Comics) #478
Archie & Friends #32
Archie Comics Digest (Magazine) #159
Archie's Christmas Stocking #6
Archie('s) Double Digest (Quarterly) (Magazine) #103
(Archie's Pal) Jughead (Comics) (second series) #111
Archie's Pals 'N' Gals Double Digest Magazine #37
Betty #68
Betty and Veronica #130
Betty and Veronica Comics Digest Magazine #99
Betty and Veronica Double Digest Magazine #76
Betty and Veronica Spectacular #32
Betty and Veronica Summer Fun #5
Cheryl Blossom #20
Jughead With Archie Digest (Plus Betty & Veronica & Reggie, Too!) #145
Jughead's Double Digest Magazine #55
Laugh (Comics) Digest Magazine #145
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (Vol. 2) #20
Veronica #82

The "Baby Tales" storyline is older than them.

The "Love Showdown" storyline is older than them.

One of their comic books has never cost less than $1.75.

One of their digests has never cost less than $1.95.

One of their double digests has never cost less than $2.95.

The gang was born during season 3 or 4 of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" and were 3 or 4 when it ended.

The gang was born in the year that my fanfic, "Betty Cooper: This Is Who I Am", portraying them as high school juniors, came out.

The gang was born in the year that "Sabrina: The Animated Series", portraying Sabrina as a preteen, premiered; they were 0 or 1 when it ended.

The gang was born in the year that "Archie's Weird Mysteries", portraying them as high school teenagers, premiered; they were 0 or 1 when it ended.

The gang was 0 or 1 (at most) when "Archie-The Untold Story", an erotic fanfic by DW Lust from Cheryl's point of view, was published at The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive.

The gang was 1 or 2 when the "Josie and the Pussycats" movie came out.

The gang was 2 or 3 when "Sabrina: Friends Forever", portraying Sabrina as turning 13 years old, came out.

The gang was 2 or 3 when "The Archies in Jugman", portraying them as high school teenagers, came out.

The gang was 3 or 4 when "Sabrina's Secret Life", portraying Sabrina as 14 years old, premiered and 4 or 5 when it ended.

The gang was 3 or 4 when "Revenge", a fanfic by Zebo in which Betty murders Veronica and Archie, was published on FanFiction.Net.

The gang was 4 or 5 when "Ms. Independent Part One", a fanfic by insana dea in which Betty breaks up with Archie and goes through emotional turmoil, was published on FanFiction.Net.

They were in kindergarten (elementary school) when "French Kisses", a fanfic by Lady Xiu Mei Phoenix in which Cheryl seduces and wins Betty, was published on FanFiction.Net.

They were in first grade (elementary school) when Archie Comics Fan Forum debuted as Archie Fans Messageboard. They were in eleventh grade (junior high) when the reset occurred.

They were in fourth grade (elementary school) when the Freshman Year storyline came out.

They were in fifth grade (elementary school) when the wedding storyline and "The Tattoo Scene" story came out.

They were in fifth grade (elementary school) and out of school for the summer when the second Freshman Year storyline came out.

They were out of school for the summer after fifth grade (elementary school) when Archie started dating Valerie.

They were in sixth grade (junior high) when the "Twilite", "Battle of the BFFs", "New Kids Off the Wall", "Jughead Jones: Semi-Private Eye", and "Queen B" storylines and "face-off!" story came out.

They were in sixth grade (junior high) when the fan-made "Riverdale" movie trailer came out.

They were out of school for the summer between sixth grade and seventh grade (junior high) when Kevin Keller was introduced.

They were out of school for the summer between sixth grade and seventh grade (junior high) when my fanfic, "Betty Cooper: Woman For All Seasons", portraying them as high school seniors, came out.

They were in seventh grade (junior high) when the "Gaga For Baba", "The X Factor vs. American Idol", and "Geek Face-Off!" stories and "Movin' In" storyline came out.

They were in seventh grade (junior high) when the Riverdale Podcast debuted.

The "Archie Marries Valerie!" storyline came out during the summer before they entered eighth grade (junior high).

They started high school after the following series had concluded and one-shots had debuted:

Archie & Friends
Archie & Friends Monsterbash
Archie Annual Digest Magazine
Archie Comics Digest Magazine
Archie...Archie Andrews, Where Are you? Comics Digest Magazine
(Archie's Pal) Jughead (Comics) (second series)
Archie's Pals 'n' Gals Double Digest Magazine
Archie's Story and Game Digest Magazine
Betty
Betty and Veronica Comics Digest Magazine
Betty and Veronica Spectacular
Betty and Veronica Summer Fun
Cheryl Blossom
Jughead & Friends Digest Magazine
Jughead With Archie Digest (Plus Betty & Veronica & Reggie, Too!)
Laugh Comics (one-shot)
Laugh (Comics) Digest Magazine
Pep Comics Featuring Betty & Veronica (Free Comic Book Day)
Sabrina (the Teenage Witch, a.k.a. Vol. 3)
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (Vol. 2)
Sabrina the Teenage Witch and the Archies
Tales From Riverdale Digest Magazine
Tales From Riverdale Featuring Archie & His Friends
Veronica

They started high school after the following other media came out:

Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV movie)
Sabrina Goes to Rome
Sabrina Down Under
Archie's Weird Mysteries
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV series)
Sabrina: The Animated Series
Josie and the Pussycats (2001 film)
Sabrina: Friends Forever
The Archies in Jugman
Sabrina's Secret Life
The Archies Christmas Album Featuring Betty & Veronica
the xoxo, Betty and Veronica novels
the Kevin novel

They started high school after the following issues came out:

Archie #645
Archie & Friends Double Digest Magazine #28
Archie('s) Double Digest (Quarterly) (Magazine) #241
Archie's Summer Splash! #1 (Free Comic Book Day)
B&V friends Double Digest #234
Betty and Veronica #266
Betty and Veronica Double Digest Magazine #213
Jughead's Double Digest Magazine #193
Kevin Keller #9
Life With Archie: The Married Life #30
World of Archie Double Digest #30

They were in ninth grade (freshman year) when "Afterlife With Archie", portraying them as high school seniors, debuted and in eleventh grade (junior year) when the latest issue (#9), taking place after Christmas of their senior year, came out.

They were in ninth grade (freshman year) when "Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch" premiered and out of school for the summer when it was cancelled.

The first canonical issue of "Betty and Veronica" released during their freshman year was #269 (cover-dated February, 2014). Only ten canonical issues of "Betty and Veronica" came out while they were in high school.

They were in tenth grade (sophomore year) when "Chilling Adventures of Sabrina" debuted and in eleventh grade (junior year) when the latest issue (#5) came out.

They were in eleventh grade (junior year) when the Archie reboot occurred.

They were in eleventh grade (junior year) when the "Riverdale" pilot was filmed.

Anyone have anything else?

This is based on a thread that was originally started by Captain Hero on April 11, 2007.

Let's name all of the places in Riverdale (businesses, streets, etc.):

streets:

Oak Street
K Street
Manor Drive
Riverdale Heights
Thistlebrook Lane
Wabash Avenue
Hudson Avenue (Ethel's aunt lives there)
Old Mill Road
Elm (there's a hair salon here that Veronica patronizes)

businesses:

Fjordstrom's
Bixby's
Lacy's
Pop's Chocklit Shop
Segarini's Pizza place
Jolly's (restaurant)
Terence Trent and D'Arby Advertising
Riverdale Roller Rink
Riverdale Mall
Shep's Discotheque
Dreggs gas station(s)
Star Drive-In Theatre
The Aquarian Kumquat
Camp Woodstock (formerly Wot-A-Rukus)
Dipsy Donuts
the Teen Machine Dance Club
Pembrooke Mall
Riverdale Dump
Riverdale Public Pool
Bronco's Auto Repair*
Jimbo's Junkyard and [illegible]*
The Riverdale Record (newspaper)
Riverdale Museum
McJitters Coffee Shop
Bongo Bluffs (on the outskirts of town)
Crackstone Manor (Mad Doctor Doom's deserted dwelling)
Farmers Market
Stuff Removal (firm)
Happy Maid Service Inc.
Anzilotti's Enchiladas
The Pampered Pet (a pet grooming place)
Turtle Back Hill
Double Time Delivery Service
bus lines
Riverdale Airport (on Route 17-A; you have to take an exit off the highway)
The Red Barn Theater
The Factory discotheque
Riverdale Animal Shelter on Wabash Avenue (though it might have moved after the expansion)
WRIV TV (which indicates Riverdale is east of the Mississippi River)**
train station
city offices
Acme Asphalt Paving
Mike's Bikes (bicycle store)
Riverdale Dance Palace (used to be a disco in the '70s)
Dee's Deli (walk out of Pop's and cross the street to your right)
a "soda" place (to Dee's Deli's left)
Zeke's used car lot
Riverdale senior citizens home
Belmont Hotel
Dr. Beaumont's Curiosity Shoppe
JC Nickels / JC Dollars
The Lodge Mall***
Pansky's Costume Shop
North Beach****
Riverdale Yacht Club (as patronized by the Lodge family)
Boat Club
Marina
Riverdale Star Tribune (newspaper)
City Mall (or perhaps just city mall)
Riverdale City Gazette
Token Arcade (it's a stand-alone building)
Riverdale Health Club
Riverdale Zoo
Zoomco bottling plant - ("just outside" Riverdale)
free community health center
Westside Mall
Pizza Pal - restaurant; Archie and Jughead worked there, and Betty hung out there; they also deliver
Big Burger - Betty worked the drive-thru there
Sam's Service - auto repair
Fresco - some kind of business
Lorenzo's - hot dog chain; there's a stand on Main Street
Dino's Pizzeria
Food Discount Club
Starluck's
Fish Market
Pets 'R Us
Video City
Thrifty Stuff
Riverdale Stadium - Riverdale has a professional baseball team that plays there
Kindly Mother Kelly's Pizzeria
Dugan's Diner
Riverdale Aquarium
Bakery
a hot dog stand
City Pound
Riverdale Hospital
Mega Mart (a.k.a. Mega-Mart)
Pizza Palace
Gourmet Market

*I'm not sure if these are within Riverdale's city limits, but they're in an area where Betty asked Veronica to drive her.

**The real WRIV is an AM radio station in Riverhead, New York.

**It seems WRIV-TV is also Riverdale High's cable access news station.

***Whether this is the same as the Riverdale Mall or not is anyone's guess. It appeared in a fairly recent digest or double digest and involved Betty and Veronica posing as live mannequins (sp?) in the mall's stores to raise traffic. I believe this was done as a sequel to an earlier story where The Archies perform at the mall to raise traffic, so we might need to check that story to see if the mall is named. Mr. Lodge did mention other malls in the area, which, if anything, proves Riverdale has a bigger economy than my county and the county directly south of here COMBINED.

****This was written on a street sign. It might have simply been the direction and the word "Beach". I'm not sure. In that same story, an overpass was visible. Actually, I see overpasses quite often in the stories, which, if anything, indicates Riverdale is more built-up that any place in my county.

landmarks:

Carson's Creek
Pickins Park
City Hall
Riverdale Police Station
Riverdale Medical Center / Riverdale Hospital
Riverdale Elementary School (Little Archie)
Riverdale Junior High School (The New Archies)
Riverdale High School (pretty much everything )
Riverdale College (established 1937)
Pembrooke Academy
Riverdale Amusement Park
the old Van Helsing mansion
Riverdale State Park (are state parks ever named after the city that they're located in?)
fairground, which is home to the Riverdale State Fair (again, same question)
Evergreen Forest / Eversgreen Forest, home to Riverdale Industrial Park
civic center
Thrill Hill
Riverdale Court House
Traffic Dept.
mayor's office
Riverdale Chamber of Commerce

Riverdale has at least two libraries: the "main library" and the "local library", which seems excessive.

The Riverdale High football field is three miles from the city limits. It's also a short distance away from the docks and Bongo Bay, across which is Rockbound Bleaker Island, on which is Squat Stone Manor (or maybe it's squat Stone Manor), which predates the Revolutionary War at least. There's a secret underground tunnel that connects the manor to the football field.

Riverdale also has a warehouse district. It's a bad, crime-ridden area that makes the girls scared when they're there.

There's an off-road trail "not far from town". It's near the old railroad track from the Trans-Union Rail Company (the new station is on the other side of town). The rails are crossties were removed, and the track was paved over as a new bike trail. It was named the Riverdale Express after the train that used to ride it back in the day.

The trail is five miles long, leading from the outskirts of town to downtown in the center of town.

Old Man Cheney, who raises wolves, lives in a cabin in the woods.

Miss Lucinda, a charmer, lives in a cabin in the woods outside of town.

05014 Miarpomgeon is the address for an unknown business (with a tropical picture on the window or in the building) across the street and a bit away from Dr. Beaumont's shop (from the AWM episode, "Compu-Terror").

Cooper Farms - It's out in the country (maybe not actually a part of Riverdale) and owned by Betty's uncle, Matt.

Millionaire's Row [sic] - This is an exclusive, wealthy area. You have to drive up a hill to get to it. One of the estates is Land's End, home to Mr. Lodge's friend, Sid Eaton, and his son, Roger. Oddly, the Lodges themselves don't live here.

Flower Shop - Yeah, that's what it's called. Moose worked here when he'd quit school.

Riverdale Expressway - Don't use it - especially during noontime rush hour. There's a reason that it's called "the world's longest parking lot".

In Archie & Friends Double Digest#24, there's a story called "From the Ground Up". Other than having a panel where Veronica is drawn with a regular nose (which actually looks weird on her), there's an Asian reporter from WRIV that's named Brenda Lin. She's shown riding in a big news van (WRIV is on channel 9). I know Riverdale has previously been shown to have its own news, but I figured I'd call attention to it. Riverdale HAS to be big - at least as big as Tampa.

Riverdale has another station, WPBJ, Channel 10 (also known as 10TV). Betty interned here.

So WRIV on channel 9 and WPBJ on channel 10. Two channels with rival news programs in Riverdale.

If you could write the stories however you want, how would you do it? Which main character(s) would you write about? Which supporting characters (from any time period)? Which genre would the stories be? Which rating would it be?

I'd focus on Betty and Cheryl. I'd pair this together romantically, which would cause complications and fighting among the other people in their lives (most notably, Archie and Veronica). It'd be at least Teen+ (if I could get away with it, I'd do a Mature Readers title, since I have my fanfic versions of Betty and Cheryl have sex and drop f-bombs casually). It'd be generally down-to-Earth in tone. Supporting characters would include Tomoko, Kumi, and Crystal (the New Age girl from the '90s, since I identify with that now, but I'd update her look from "hippie" to "ethereal").

This is based on a thread that I'd originally posted on August 29, 2012.

With the timeline constantly sliding forward, the gang is born one year later each year (assuming they're now seniors, I'm guessing the "current gang" was born in 1998).

So which stories from the past just couldn't work at all today (or could work but would have to be updated)?

Generally speaking, I'd say anything dealing with outdated tech or fashions.

Any stories where, for example, the gang goes to the video arcade or video rental store or gets cable or the Internet for the first time. Cable's in decline; it's all Netflix and Redbox now.

Assuming two years' worth of stories (junior and senior year and the summer vacation in between) and that the characters are graduating this year (until the next slide happens), certain stories could no longer occur, such as the gang meeting The Veronicas (Veronica was taking helicopter lessons in the story, but she'd be way too young in 2005-6 now) or Michael Jackson (he died before they entered middle school).

There are the stories where Cheryl is interested in the "Sugar Girls" (obviously meant to be the Spice Girls), even joining the group, and Veronica hiring "N'Sing" (N*Sync) to play at the mansion. I can't imagine either girl being interested in either group today.

Oh, and there was that time that Veronica won $1,000,000 on "Who Wants to Win a Million Bucks" (and was bored by it!). Even if we accept the rather obvious need for Veronica to be 18, Regis was the host, so, even if it did still happen, someone else would have to be the host.

The Riverdale gang attended the premiere of Josie and the Pussycats' movie, and the actual 2001 movie poster was inserted on the theater wall. Even if J&P did come out with a movie in the Archieverse, different actors would be playing them. However, that might not have been what they were going for at all. Maybe they meant Josie, Melody, and Valerie really do look like Rachael, Tara, and Rosario.

This is likely a noncanonical gag, but Sabrina was watching the live-action Sabrina series (starring Melissa Joan Hart) and mocking the concept. Needless to say, it wouldn't happen to today's Sabrina.

I have a feeling that the Freshman Year storyline was written to occur in the present day instead of the past. Of course, today's gang wasn't even in middle school when that story was published!

The sequel storyline (when did that come out?) starts with a framing sequence of Betty typing in her diary. Yeah, she's now keeping her diary on her computer. She then finds her old diary from freshman year and notes it was back when she was still writing in a real diary. I like that. Of course, even that's outdated by now.

Then there are the stories where the gang is talking on household corded phones (and their parents eavesdrop on their conversations) or using payphones. Those would no longer happen, since they all have cell phones now, and, contrary to what Maroon 5 seems to think, payphones seem to have entirely vanished.

Heck, there was a story where everyone was wondering whose cell phone was going off, and Betty smiled and said "I know it's not mine!" That's outdated now, too. You can get a decent touchscreen Tracfone for, like, $20. That's, like, probably one night of babysitting for Betty.

Any stories where they're listening to records or cassette tapes. Heck, even CDs are becoming obsolete. If they do still buy CDs, they can just rip the songs and put them on their MP3 players or iPods.

Any story dealing with Y2K. That now became obsolete before they entered kindergarten.

Any story where Betty is playing a tambourine in The Archies. Assuming the gang formed The Archies when they started high school, they would have started playing in 2012. No self-respecting 21st-century girl is going to settle for a tambourine. This is especially bad when we consider a 2005-6 story in which Betty learns to play every Kiss song on electric guitar and then jams on-stage with the band as their guest guitarist.

I did see a story in a digest around four years ago in which Betty is playing an electric guitar in the band, and no one calls any attention to it.

Really, though, The Archies need to update their music as well. The xoxo, Betty and Veronica novel, "We're With the Band", had them still singing "Sugar, Sugar" in 2011 (and Betty's playing the tambourine, of course).

There was a Cheryl story in 1999-2000 called "P.I.P." where she, Betty, and Veronica form a bodyguard service to protect celebrities. Okay, let's say they're 18 (which they'd legally have to be). They get hired to protect Christina Aguilera during one of her concerts. I don't know what her popularity's like these days, but somehow I doubt this story could still occur (or it could but with Taylor Swift instead).

There was a 1-page advertisement story that had Betty becoming the Super Nintendo Champion of Riverdale. While that could, I suppose, technically still happen (due to retro gaming, thanks to the likes of AVGN), it really wouldn't be anything to gloat about at this point.

Any story in which Archie is driving his original car (it was like a Ford Model A or something like that). No 21st-century teen is going to be driving a collectible antique like that (despite LWA's "explanation" that it's a family heirloom that Archie drove until he graduated high school, which contradicts current stories). The Cheryl Blossom Specials, which reprinted 1980s Cheryl stories as flashbacks, in effect claimed Archie drove that old car before Cheryl moved away for the first time.

I remember a story from years ago where Veronica was revealed to have been childhood friends with Paris Hilton. Of course, the real-life passage of time has resulted in a large age difference, making that story impossible now.

Kevin Keller #4 (the London Olympics issue) couldn't have occurred either, since that happened during the summer between eighth and ninth grades in today's continuity.

There was a 1999 Cheryl story called "Friendly Fire" where Veronica publicly humiliated Cheryl, who was a guest on Betty and Veronica's local public access cable show (yes, seriously), "Teen Talk". While the studio audience saw it (as well as Cheryl running out of the studio, crying in embarrassment), it enraged Betty, who confiscated the video tape (I guess the show wasn't live) from Veronica and brought it to Cheryl as a peace offering (they then became friends). The story could happen today - but only with extensive modification. "Teen Talk" would be a YouTube series. Cheryl could appear in person or via Skype. The Internet would see it. The only thing that Betty could do for Cheryl is delete the upload from their YouTube channel.

I asked about "Cheryl Blossom: Freshman Year" on Riverdale Podcast, and Jonathan's guess was it was nothing more than a gag to end the story and was never under serious consideration.

Too bad, though, because I would have loved to have read it.

Cheryl was to appear in the original "Freshman Year" and even made it onto an early version of one of the covers before being tossed out. You can see it in my Cheryl Blossom album. It's a photo in Archie's locker of Archie and Cheryl studying (each other).

I love Fiona Staples' artwork. By contrast, whoever did the artwork on the "Jughead" title in the beginning did a pretty bad job.

Kumi Tanura and her younger sister, Ami - Japanese girls that moved to Riverdale. Kumi attends RHS. Her "thing" was being very naive about American culture. Ami has a crush on Archie. At home, their mother keeps up Japanese traditions and etiquette.

Crystal - a girl that ran a New Age store in the mall in the early 1990s; she endorsed transcendental meditation and other such things.

Let's try to list the obscure (non-one-shot) characters that have appeared over the decades. Characters that were recurring for a while but then just disappeared.

Thanks for sharing that Instagram link.

I'm cautiously optimistic about the series. We'll see what happens. At the very least, I like how Betty and Cheryl look.