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Classic Betty & Veronica is BACK for $2.99 by DeCarlo Rules
[Today at 05:07:48 AM]


Days we look foward to as Archie Fans. by gillibean
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"The Archies" will end with issue #7 by DeCarlo Rules
[Today at 12:48:33 AM]


PTF Reviews Super Suckers #4 by PTF
[Today at 12:28:41 AM]


Story Jumps In Newest Archie Jumbo Digest by SAGG
[February 18, 2018, 07:44:11 PM]


Adopted an orphan baby monkey by BillysBadFurDay
[February 18, 2018, 06:01:17 PM]


What have you done today? by BettyReggie
[February 18, 2018, 11:14:46 AM]


What comics have you been reading? by DeCarlo Rules
[February 18, 2018, 07:21:59 AM]


Riverdale Reviewed by Tuxedo Mark
[February 16, 2018, 09:50:21 PM]


How many comics do you own? by DeCarlo Rules
[February 16, 2018, 04:08:02 AM]

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  • castle_crimson: whats up?
    Today at 06:39:23 AM
  • castle_crimson: happy birthday BettyReggie
    Today at 06:32:34 AM
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    Today at 06:32:18 AM
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    Today at 06:32:08 AM
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    February 18, 2018, 08:14:19 AM
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    February 16, 2018, 09:50:56 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: @irishmoxie -- If they are indeed reprinting those early B&V Spectaculars from the Archie Giant Series, I'd agree it's a good choice (although it makes me wonder why they'd bypass the Betty & Veronica Summer Fun issues, which would be even more desirable to have). The early Life With Archie issues are a good choice as well, and I'll be buying both of those collections. Archie at Riverdale High, one of the dullest titles, is more of a puzzling choice. I won't be buying that one.
    February 16, 2018, 05:48:41 AM
  • irishmoxie: I own all of B&V Spectacular and most of the later issues of Life with Archie but I would definitely get these collections as they are easier to read without worrying about tearing the pages of fragile comics. Digital would be even better for me.
    February 15, 2018, 04:27:51 PM
  • irishmoxie: I don't see that classic B&V Vol 1 from the 50s up for pre-order on Amazon anymore. So it looks like they've ditched that idea for now.
    February 15, 2018, 04:26:14 PM
  • irishmoxie: I think their idea was to go with the more "edgy" Classic Archie ie fantasy stories from Life with Archie. I haven't read many of the Archie at Riverdale High books but my impression was that they were the "issue" books focusing on a particular issue pertinent to teens like protesting school lunches or something.
    February 15, 2018, 04:19:01 PM
  • irishmoxie: I suspect they will start the Spectacular collection with the Dan Parent stuff because that is more distinguishable. Older B&V Spectacular stuff is very similar to regular B&V.
    February 15, 2018, 04:17:08 PM
  • rusty: Dark Horse could still have the rights, even if they are not using them.  Archie may be thinking that the Life With Archie and Archie at Riverdale High books wi be more marketable than the older comics.  If so, I would agree with that thinking.  Cosmo is an interesting choice for a collection, but maybe they are hoping to capitalize on the new series or have other plans.
    February 15, 2018, 08:28:49 AM
  • Vegan Jughead: They also have "Cosmo: The Complete Merry Martian" up for pre-order!  How many of these things are in the works? This could be cool, but as DeCarlo Rules says, it's some kind of weird titles they're starting with.
    February 15, 2018, 07:12:42 AM
  • Vegan Jughead: At least these don't say they'll be black and white!  It says they're  "presented in the new higher-end format of Archie Comics Presents".  That sounds promising if they execute it well, and, you know, actually produce and release the books.
    February 15, 2018, 07:11:06 AM
  • DeCarlo Rules: I'm not really sure if the B&V Spectacular collection goes back to include the individual B&V Spec issues from the Archie Giant Series, or starts with #1 of the 1990s series, either.
    February 15, 2018, 12:11:39 AM
  • DeCarlo Rules: Dark Horse has only really done the 1940s (and early 1950s) ARCHIE and 2 volumes of JUGHEAD, and they haven't solicited a new volume in a couple of years. ACP could certainly start with any title (Archie's Girls B&V, or Archie's Pals 'n' Gals, for instance) besides those two.
    February 15, 2018, 12:08:18 AM
  • rusty: Are the rights to the older titles still tied up with Dark Horse maybe?
    February 14, 2018, 03:54:08 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: Seems odd that they'd start off a line of chronological reprint volumes with titles other than the main ones. Whatever happened to the trade collecting the earliest issues of Archie's Girls Betty and Veronica?
    February 14, 2018, 03:49:04 AM
  • irishmoxie: Amazon has pre-orders up for Life with Archie, Betty and Veronica Spectacular, and Archie at Riverdale High Vol 1's.
    February 13, 2018, 06:58:40 PM

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1
Reviews / PTF Reviews Super Suckers #4
« on: February 13, 2018, 09:11:57 PM »
 PTF Reviews Super Suckers 4.1
 
Back by popular demand…one person! And that person is the creator! Will he regret that decision? Lets find out as we read--
 
Super Suckers cuatro el dotto uno!!!
 
 
 
Things I liked:
 
The writing. Hey, it’s the first part for a story and it gets the ball rolling like it should do. We get to learn more about Jess and where she works. We’re introduced to my new favorite character Ruben. We have the universe and everyone in it taking it to Stewart. You have continuity with Kelly’s wackiness coming to bite her and Trevor wanting the date Jess promised him. Stewart dealing with Vera being in love with him is great. And I like that the universe and everyone not Vera just does not like him. Vera is great this issue with RHO as she pretty much does not half acknowledge the existence of what is going on. We’re introduced to WILLLLOOOW JENKINNNNNSSS (no, sadly, she doesn’t charge into the room recklessly) And we get a nice twist to end the issue. And I don’t know why but in the basement during the coup planning, I like how they’re in the dark and using candles. It’s just so stupid and I love it.
 
The art. Hah. I love the kid sticking his tongue out at the readers on page 10 and the reactions he gets. It’s just a fun way to introduce F.U.C and making it fun. And yeah, it’s the normal great art by Shultz. Another sequence I liked is Stewart in the trash and having a bird fly involved in the scene gives a good indication of pace and time. It’s just the Archie style done right. Too bad it’s not being done at Archie, but I’ll take greatness where I can find it.
 
Coloring and lettering. Standard good stuff I expect. I love Kelly’s color scheme when she learns she could be kicked out of RHO. The yellows are great. Also the lighting in the basement. As for the lettering we have Tatiana’s word balloon with the bold lines when she’s responding to Jess on how her voice sounds deep when angry. Plus we get a few icy cold word balloons from Jess and Kelly.
 
The Gang’s All Here: Well, if you wanted everyone in the comic back, you got it. And I think all the supporting characters have the time that each one warrants. So if you’re a stickler for “everyone has to be in this comic.” Here you go. Be quiet now!
 
Kelly: Last issue I had a problem with her being slightly out of character—A.K.A. being a major jerk. Well, she’s back to be her nice self. We even learn her last name is Kellogg. Which fills me with hope that one day a character named D'Artagnan General Mills will grace the world. And with all the trouble being a vampire has causes her she now has to deal with a coup and having to get a popular band just to keep herself in RHO RHO RHO. I just thought she was a highlight this issue with her various reactions.
 
Paisley’s turned heel!  Before she was just acerbated by the wacky people around her, now she wants to take over! Or at least get rid of Kelly and Vera. I like this because it gives the Paisley character something to do, gives her more personality, and it does make sense since she didn’t like Vera being put in the sorority and got her objections being shot down by Kelly. Also how Kelly’s been acting since being a vampire. So it does make sense. Not saying it couldn’t have used development, but I do like the idea and concept of it all and it will probably lead to some good stories later on. So it’s definitely more good than bad.
 
Ruben: I like this guy. Just his reactions to different people are great. He has my favorite line in the comment on page 15 that made me laugh out loud for a good bit.
 
Things I did not like.
 
 WILLOOOWWW JJEEENNNWARRGOOO…? Whuh?: When the National President of RHO RHO RHO was first introduced her name was Willow JENKINS. When Kelly enters kangaroo court, her name is now Willow WARGO. And this isn’t the first time for the series as Paisley went by a different name (India) from one issue to the next before, hopefully, settling on Paisley. These little mistakes drive me crazy. I mean, I understand making mistakes. It’s going to happen. I’m sure Darin Henry had and has a ton of other stuff going on. My problem is not catching it. This is just something you would see on a proofread.
 
 
 “Paisley’s been after my presidency since I was elected.” I just wish that line wasn’t there because—I just never got that attitude from any of Paisley’s past issues., I like the concept and idea but the reasoning for it feels forced. I think it would work better if Paisley was upset that she was ignored (like in the first issue about wanting to paint lettering red two hours ago and letting Vera join RHO) and just Kelly’s weirdness since becoming a vampire (see issue two with the make-up dilemma) and it just built up to her becoming an antagonist instead of having it just “she always wanted my job.”
 
 
 Hey where’d that candle go? Paisley had a candle with her in the basement and then it’s gone. WHERE DID IT GO?! WHERE DID IT GO?!?  Eh, I guess she could have put it down or something. Not that big a deal when you think about it…
 
 
 No commercials. Eh, I guess some will miss them. I liked the story enough where I didn’t miss them, but if you’re into the feel of reading a sitcom then yeah.
 
What I learned from what I read.
 
 Lyric is smarter than Summer, which is like saying a rock is smarter than poop.
  • You get unlimited refills with your Big Swig Chug Mug.
  • The Johnny Thunderheart Band is the greatest band since The Misfits!
  • Trevor, Ever Vigilant Security Associate!!!
  • Kelly’s last name is Kellogg.
  • Ruben has a backstory we all should know.
  • There are people who make plans, and people who make the plans reality. Guess which one you want to be.
  • RHO RHO RHO really has a lot on its plate. Blood drives, couples get together, Greek Fest...it’s almost too much work to get to the fun!
  • “Young Women Get Killed In Basements pt 4” is the best in the series. The worse?  “Young Women Get Vaguely Harmed In Basements.” Stupid PG-13 rating.
  • Paisley is SUPER peeved she did not get to go to the beach with the rest of the sorority.
 
 
Overall
 
 
Yeah, it’s a super fun issue. The art and writing is the usual greatness I expect. Jess has workplace problems, Kelly has to find a way to stay in RHO RHO RHO, and Stewart has to deal with Vera. Vera…eh, she orbits reality occasionally like normal. It’s a great read and fun. I like Ruben. Willow and Tatiana look to be fun antagonists going ahead for the rest of the story. And I like Paisley turning bad. I think the series needs a reoccurring villain. Like how Teddy Ruxpin had Tweeg.
 

 
I watched the Teddy Ruxpin cartoon when I was a kid. I’m old. I’m shocked I remember so much about it. But I’m not ashamed. Because there is nothing to be ashamed about.  NOTHING
 
There are problems with this issue. Like not being able to keep characters names straight. It’s just a constant problem this series has had. And I think Paisley’s heel turn was forced; I think it should have been developed more.
 
But while annoying, name problems doesn’t affect the Willow character and I like Paisley’s new attitude in this story and where it could lead.
 
I give this issue a B+
 
 
 
So tune in next time when I review Super Suckers 4.2.!!!

2
Reviews / Re: PTF Reviews Super Suckers #3
« on: February 13, 2018, 01:16:27 AM »
Sure. Read 4.1 late last night and I'll post my review some time.  :)

3
Reviews / Re: PTF Reviews Super Suckers #3
« on: February 07, 2018, 06:40:37 PM »
PTF Reviews Super Suckers 3.3


Sorry for being late on this review. First there was the Super Bowl where, after a season of getting everything their way, the karma fairy finally got The Patriots! And then Tuesday, my Uncle had an allergic reaction to a cold pill. And fell down. A lot. Don’t worry he didn’t hurt himself and the pill has just about worn off and he’s getting his strength back.

So this review will be a little shorter because I am super tired. Speaking of things that are “super”

LET’S REVIEW SUPER SUCKERS!!!





Things I liked.

1.   The writing. Well, the story was well paced over the three issues, beginning, middle, and ending. And things wrapped up nicely save for one thing that I’ll go into later in the review. And it was a pretty funny issue with Nurse Peggy being bat puking insane. I loved Kelly sacrificing Jess so she could get the file to rescue Stewart. Stewart’s attitude after the rescue. And I like the twist of Vera falling in love with Stewart for real. And I liked how things worked out for Jess as she did get rewarded for all she had to deal with this story.


2.   The art. It’s nice having an artist like Jeff Shultz. He makes my life so easy. I like his art style, he draws each character different, everything is well laid out. And he does little things that I enjoy. Just check out Spencer’s hearts as the comic goes. And Whitmore does a great job with the colors. I just love how I can tell what time of day it is because of his colors. Really puts me into the story. The lettering is great and if you like the old Batman show, you’ll be really happy with this issue. BLEED. Yep.


Things I didn’t like.

1. Kelly’s a jerk. A super jerk. I was waiting on this one since this really is just one story I bought in three separate issues, and I’ve been waiting to see how this ends, but yeah. Kelly’s is mean this story. Like with Jess (just making it hard for her to study and leaving her in the hospital) and Vera (drinking her blood while she’s asleep). I can over look these two a bit because Jess did get the time to study (not Kelly’s intent) and she did save Stewart…where she was channeled her inner Punisher. But hey, Peggy, did kidnap someone, was crazy, and did hit her with a shovel.

My problem is with Spencer. I’m a big supporter of the Bugs Bunny rule where if someone is a jerk to you or gets in your way maliciously…you have every right to go at them and never stop. Spencer never did anything to deserve being put in worse and worse condition by Kelly. I mean, he called her a “freak” but I don’t warrants broken bones. I would have been fine with this if he had been shown to be uncaring about people on the beach or just some negative aspect, but he was just clumsy. That’s kind of like seeing a guy with a broke arm and going “wouldn’t it be funny if he other arm was broke?”

Of course, considering my last few days, I might be sensitive to the whole falling thing. But if you did a Jim from “The Office” where he goes over everything he’s done to Dwight—Kelly doesn’t look to good this issue.

2.   Not all the cast. This one’s more for sticklers who want to see every character in the comic appear. Me, I don’t mind. This is a pretty crammed issue. And it wouldn’t make sense for Trevor to be there. But I don’t get why Paisley/”other name she went by I can’t remember right now” isn’t here. I mean, you have Clover, but, um, yeah, she just exists for Jonas to be her boyfriend. Why have a new character for that? Unless she pulls a Trevor; which at that point, I’m going to have to skim ahead to make sure I don’t look like a dumb-dumb again.


Things I’ve learned from what I read.
1.   Kelly’s a psychopath.
2.   Kelly was poor and lived in a trailer.
3.   Oh, so that’s how you treat severe sunburns.
4.   Fly by Knight definitely better than Southwest Airlines.
5.   Never tell an insane woman you want to be “just friends.” Heck, don’t tell any woman that!
6.   Mr. Wubbzy looked like he didn’t approve of Peggy’s fiancé.
7.   Dewhurst Cola, top selling beverage in the Delmarvia Pennisula.
8.   You can’t kill a vampire with a shovel to the back of the head.
9.   If you pretend hard enough, it will become real. Right, Rick the Outer Space Rocket Bandit? …He says yes and you can’t have Uranus back.
10.   No lady, this is not Riverdale. And you should be glad. Riverdale has become a much, much darker place.

It was a really good story. I liked the art and I liked the writing. My main problem is Kelly being a tad uncharacteristically mean. And even then she did help out her friends and my main gripe is to a one shot character who made Archie look like Captain Safety.  It’s still a funny, well drawn book that I think should be given a chance by everyone. Especially at the price.

I give this issue a B+ and I can’t wait for the next issue. So thanks to everyone reading my reviews and please pick up these issues.


4
Reviews / Re: PTF Reviews Super Suckers #3
« on: February 03, 2018, 03:05:14 PM »
PTF Reviews Super Suckers 3.2  Electric Balloon!!!

…Awwwhh, I messed it up!!!

Our quad of heroes are at a beach for a couples retreat and so far Jess has a wicked sun burn, Kelly is drinking the Archie as a lifeguard stand in, Stewart was maimed playing frisbee and Vera’s looks about ready to get her freak on.





Things I liked.

1.   Nurse Peggy. Well, the nurse lady is the antagonist of the story and is bat puking insane!!! Let’s a guy die, kidnaps Stewart based on his love of Doctor Who and that frickin’ insane face. So yeah, we got a nice Steven King homage.

2.   The writing. Again it’s very humorous and well paced. I love the idea of an injury prone life guard. I’m hoping the next issue he’s in a body cast. And I like the foreshadowing of Nurse Peggy seeming pretty nice and then you think “well, maybe that guy dying wasn’t just meant for humor.” And we’re seeing a pretty big difference between Jess and Kelly in controlling their bloodlust. At least Jess options for a consensual donor. And Kelly’s karmatic punishment is pretty fun as she continues to be mistaken for a lesbian. And we’re again left at a good point where you want to see is going to happen next. I think my favorite joke is Kelly blowing on Jess to agitate her sunburn.

3.   The art. Cripes, that insane face! That’s like a cartoon going along and then pulling a Ren and Stimpy freak out on you. And yeah, we’re getting the same quality art we all come to expect from Jeff Shultz. Whitmore is doing his fantastic job as well. Love the night beach scene and how consistent he is with Jess’s sunburn. The lettering was great with the guy dying a slow, painful death.

4.   Hey, new commercial. Man, remember when people didn’t get whiney when a hero caused collateral damage? People, fighting a guy that can lift a planet is going to be messy.

5.   Jess. She’s a good friend. Just thought I’d give her props for having standards on drinking blood and showing concern for her friends.

6.   The Cover. It’s funny and well drawn but there might be one problem for some people…

Things I didn’t like.

1.   Me and Stewart agreeing on Doctor Who. This had better be just a coincidence! I swear if next issue I read, Stewart hates Michael Bendis comics and loves Tyler Perry movies, I’ll know something’s up!  Ah, this brings back memories of when I’d wake up early in the morning and Brit American only aired The 4th Doctor episodes over and over. Now it’s just Star Trek Voyager. Yuck.


2.   The cover. I personally like it, but I’ve heard complaints all my comic reading life about covers that don’t have anything to do with the story inside. Me? If it looks good, I’m happy. And I think it’s funny, but you know there’s this one person who will complain.



Things I learned from what I read.

1.   Me and Stewart have the exact same taste in Doctor Who. Seriously, that’s weird. Am I being trolled??  It’s not funny if I am!!
2.   I learned more about Stewart’s underwear than I ever wanted to.
3.   If you’re as clumsy as Spencer, you deserve to be a vampire’s mocha.
4.   Eastern Shore Hospital has a loose dress code. I live in the South and you have to have on a shirt and shoes to enter the local roadside fuel and sundry industry.
5.   Ingrown toenails are serious!!
6.   Ever see Jennifer’s Body? Kelly is starting to remind me a lot of that movie.
7.   Stewart has A+ blood.
8.   Stewart’s last name is Noss.
9.   The people of Metropolis would love to have Magic Insurance’s Super Hero Policy.
10.   This issue did not help my dislike of hospitals.


Yeah, it’s another good issue. Things are going along, characters get their moments to shine and show off their personality dispositions, a crazy sci-fi nurse. Hey, it’s the insanity I’ve come to expect. And I really couldn’t find anything I disliked.  I give an A.

So next issue we finish up. Will there be a wedding? A rescue?  A funeral? Well, find out next time.

5
Reviews / PTF Reviews Super Suckers #3
« on: February 02, 2018, 12:04:27 PM »
 PTF Previews Super Suckers 3.1.
 
Well, we’re back. And before I begin the review, I want to give you, the readers, some helpful advice. Just because you have a warranty on something it doesn’t mean: A) the people you have the warranty with will come when they promise and B) that they will actually FIX what is wrong.
 
So yeah, apparently seven hundred dollars down the drain.

 
But lucky for me, Sitcomics is back so there are comics I can afford!
 
Super Suckers is the story of two college girls turned vampires, their personal blood bank/butt monkey and their cavalcade of friends and one shot antagonist and the hot guy of the issue as they try to live their undead lives.
 
When we last left off: RHO RHO RHO House was haunted by a vengeful spirit, Jess was possessed and Kelly learned—wait wait, wait. Something’s off. That sounds like a bad fan fic.
 
Anyway, let’s get to the review.
 
Things I liked:
 
 The Story. Hey, it’s vampires at the beach, a deadly game of frisbee, and a guy ending up with his head in a horse’s butt. That’s what I want in every comic. And it’s pretty funny from the start with the Amish County exit cracking me up all the way to Vera leaving Stewart to die alone.. And I like the dynamic of Jess and Kelly. Jess is more of a loner who really just wants to study, Kelly is a people’s person who pretty much just wants to socialize and meet boys. The Stewart and Vera dynamic is great. I’m a big fan of going overboard with slang and dialect (probably why I’m the only person I know who likes Gambit, my hombres.) so I like the Spencer character. This the first part of the story and it leaves at a good point where I want to read the next issue, so it accomplishes a lot. So credit to Darin Henry, Jenn Lloyd and Kevin Bonani.
 
 The Art. Jeff Shultz. This is probably the best art I’ve seen from him. It has everything I like. You have different locals, different people, different things, it’s just amazing work. Yeah, the old, “everyone looks the same” old school Archie art criticism is not here. It has everything you want. Heck, it has what I like the most: stuff happening in the background. I love going back and seeing what I missed in a first reading. I just love how Jonas and Virgil are drawn, you instantly hate them. Just a lot of talent and versatility in this issue.
 
 The coloring and lettering. Hey anytime I can see DONK and SLAMMO, I’m happy. And there’s a good example of lettering making a story funny. There’s a panel on page nine where it looks like a kid has the word balloons on a string. I’m pretty sure there is a real balloon with the word balloons put over it—and it’s just funnier to me this way. So score one for Marshall Dillon. And off topic, he should really thank his parents for an awesome name.  And Glen Whitmore is banging the colors once again. Jess’s sunburn looks legit and it’s just a wide range of colors from the grass to the ocean to the sand.
4. Senor Uva. It made me smile. And during this cold, harsh winter, I need reasons to smile since obviously heat will not be an option for me.



5. The Letter page. I don't normally read letter pages, but I went back and made special exception since one of our own is showcased. It was fun with Darin answering questions.

 
 
 
Things I didn’t like:
 
 Same commercials. Yeah, for anyone who’s read the first two issues, we get just reprints of the old commercials. I mean, still good, but nothing new for me.
 
 
 Didn’t name Lyric and Summer. Nitpicky but they have appeared in every issue (well if we put the parts together). I mean, I knew them but if someone new was reading this they’d probably wonder who they were so probably a name drop would have been nice.
 
 
 
Things I’ve learned from reading this comic:
 
 My dad would like this issue because it has a joke from his favorite movie, Police Academy.
  • Hundo P is surfer slang for 100 percent and; coincidentally, will be the name of my next starter pokemon no matter what.
  • First aid is a lot different than what I thought it would be.
  • If you’re an optimistic main character and have an internal thought, the universe will reward you.
  • If you’re a pessimistic main character who says “what could possibly go wrong?” The universe will show you.
  • The hotter the female, the prickier the boyfriend.
  • Can’t invite someone of the same sex to a couples retreat and not expect being thought of as a couple in this liberal PC Netflix world we’re living in.
  • Jess is a pre-med student.
  • I like this issue because it has a joke from my favorite movie, Muppet Treasure Island.
  • Frisbee, the disc of doom.
 
This is a great issue. Makes me remember why I like the series, writing, humor, the art. It’s just a great collaboration. Only had a few nitpicks here and there. And we still haven’t met the nurse lady in the intro who I’m guessing is the bad guy of the issue. I got all six new issues at comixology for 1.99. I was going to get Blue Baron but I’m down 700 bucks and…they had Mighty Morphin Power Rangers on sale. So maybe next month?
 
Anyway, I give this issue an A. So anyone who hasn’t read should give this series a chance. It’s a super fun book.
 
So be here next time where we check on the condition of Stewart, learn how Jess will deal with being a fried tomato and if Kelly will date and/or eat Spencer. And other surprises I’m sure are in store in Super Suckers 3.2 Electric Boogaloo!
 

 
And yes, I will always make that joke.

6
General Discussion / Re: What comics have you been reading?
« on: January 19, 2018, 03:02:32 AM »
Catching up on Sitcomics. They have the first issue of each of their titles for free download (well Z-people later today)

https://sitcomics.net/

7
 "Toni Topaz is a character who was added on a little more recently in the comic books and she's always been very, very vivacious, exciting and a bit of a disrupter."

Yeah in all of two stories and the gazillion covers she was on that didn't include her in a single panel. :)

At least tell me they have casted a Midge.

8
All About Archie / Riverdale episode 13: The Sweet Hereafter
« on: May 11, 2017, 11:47:55 PM »
SPOILERS.

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Hey, there's going to be a season six of Total Drama Island.
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I finally have enough money saved to get a 3DS. I'm thinking Litten as my stater.

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"Cliff hanger" heh-heh. Jughead, you witty person you.


Turns out you can't get rich from Maple Syrup as it was just a front for drug trafficking from Montreal...the evil part of Canada. Mayor Josie's Mom decides she's going to stomp out corruption kind of like how Donald Trump has dinner with James Comey. Instead of focusing on herself or the Blossoms, she's going after the easy targets: Those loveable scamps The Serpents.

Sheriff Dummy wants FP to give names for a lighter sentence but FP says the Serpents don't deal in heavy drugs, just weed and bros before your only son.

At the jubillee...seriously there was just a prom a few days ago!!!... she is going to have Betty and Archie front and center to sing and give a speech as the heroes of the town. Okay, Archie is no hero. He only contributed at the end said contributions were breaking and entering and putting on a dead kid's jacket.

Betty points this out, but Mr. Blackbee doesn't have the integrity of his white comic counterpart (Hey, I'm the not the writers making nearly every black character on this show evil or a jerk!) and tells her to shut up and go along.

Betty's got other problems as her family is trying to ignore what happened and acting like one big happy family. Veronica and Archie finally tell Betty that they are seeing each other and she's cool with it since she's with Jughead, a true blue hero...

Who is being sent to the South Side to a foster home and having to transfer out of Riverdale. Apparently Fred Andrews is disqualified because of money and a DUI off screen (Boo! Show don't tell!)

And it's not easy on the workside as Hermoine has lapsed into being a ...witch and fired all the Serpent workers and want's him to sell his stack in the land before Hiram comes back. She even wants Veronica to seduce Archie to help with that. Veronica, being one of the only five people worth a flip in this show) disapproves. I'm thinking Smithers lied about Hermoine.

Cheryl is acting weird (well besides the usual bi-polar of being really mean and then being nice) as she gives up being captain of the vixens, apologizes to Jughead and even gives him something to pawn for money.

And Penelope is in real...witch mode herself as she is cold to Cheryl and won't even let her stay home....also why did Sheriff Keller leave that rope up in the barn? He is horrible at his job. Eh, like that will have an effect on her.

Archie goes to FP where FP tells him Jughead will go into the darkness and he needs to be there for Jughead before that happens. He of course doesn't.

Jughead decides to give in and go to South Side High where...dear lord. You know those 90 movies that have horrible schools like the Substitute? Times that by ten and add in North Korea. That's about what South Side is. Betty and the gang (well not Kevin because...where the heck is he??) get him and show he's loved.

Too bad Cheryl is trying to kill herself in the frozen Sweetwater lake. She falls in but Archie (with no time to take of his shirt to show his abbs) breaks the ice with his bare, bloody hands, pulls her out, and breaths life back into her body! Okay, fine. Archie finally did something heroic.

Veronica takes her home and Hermoine is still being a...witch.

Jughead sees his dad. Jughead don't turn heel! If I can believe in Megatron being heroic, I know you can overcome this.

Archie and The Pussycats sing, Betty gives a speech that inspires Riverdale to overcome the darkness that is engulfing Riverdale! That Archie is Riverdale! Veronica is Riverdale! Whenever Kevin is there, he is Riverdale! Reggie is...well, he's not Riverdale. Fred regains his faith in humanity and refuses to sell! Puppies and kittens are playing together in the streets!!

And the gang goes off for shakes at Pops and everything's happy! Yeeeeeeeaaaahhhhh!

(Looks at watch)

Huh. There's about seven minutes left.

And this is the CW Channel. With the guy who decided "Zombies in Riverdale" as the creator of the show.

Uh-oh.

Archie and Veronica make out...ah. There's those abbs.

Jughead and Betty are making out in FP's trailer when the Serpents show up and offer to help Jughead, don't take that jacket Jughead...don't....NOOOOOOO!!!

Cheryl burns down the mansion. Whatever.

Huh. I don't see Nana Rose...eh whatever.

Oh and there's a robbery at Pop's where Fred Andrews gets shot. Whatever.

Jughead turned heel. and I feel like I did when my hamster died... :(



Anyway, pretty good episode. I do have a few problems with it but those problems are the same through the series but it was great. Great cliffhanger, storylines were advanced. The acting was good. Archie actually did something worthwhile. So until next season...or I get around talking about what I liked and didn't like about the show.


9
All About Archie / Riverdale episode 12: Anatomy of a Murder.
« on: May 05, 2017, 04:48:28 AM »
Spoilers for anyone who hasn't watched the episode.


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It turns out the murderer of Jason Blossom was

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Seriously, if you don't want to know and scrolled down this far, don't blame me.
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Clifford Blossom. Okay, it stormed in my area so I missed some parts in the episode but from what I can piece together from what I saw. Jason didn't want part of the family business (not the maple syrup part) and wanted to leave with Polly and needed money so he wanted to run drugs for JP and Serpents. They decide to hold him for ransom because "rich kid" but that leads to Clifford shooting Jason. Looks like one of the serpents (the one who was going to clobber Archie in the bar) had roughed him up pretty bad.

Also on a more creepy level, we find out why Hal stole the evidence from Sheriff Useless and why the sudden mood swing: turns out grandfather Cooper...was a Blossom. That's right. The Coopers are really Blossoms, they just gave up the family name after their side of the family tree was robbed of their wealth. So Betty and Cheryl are cousins and Polly and Jason...are something I see in the South far too often.


Daddy Jones confesses to the murder because Clifford went to him when he went to jail and told him he'd kill Jughead if he didn't take the blame. I mean, yeah, he kidnapped and dumped the body, but y'know...who am I kidding, he's garbage. :)


The evidence was found on a flash drive after Joaquin leads them to where he stashed Jason's jacket. So that was his insurance.

When Sheriff Moron finally arrives at the Blossom compound he finds Clifford hung himself in the barn and several barrels with drugs. So that was what Jason was trying to get away from. So yeah. Jason was the only pure hearted red head on this show. And you can argue Archie when he stops going after every girl he sees! :)

Anyway random thoughts.


Jughead had it rough this episode. His friends betray him, his dad is in jail, all the adults treat him like garbage, and when he wants to live with his mom...she's moved on wants him to stay out of her and his sister's life. So all the hope of his family ever being together was for nothing. I'm a guy, and even I wanted to give him a hug.

Oh, and the adults in this episode, save for Alice Cooper, took a few levels in dumb. As the kids try to explain that gun was planted but are not believed. Fred took an extra level in jerkiness, too with his treatment of Jughead. He was so bad, Archie wanted to move to Chicago. Seriously, do you know how bad you are when being in Chicago is better than being in a room with you? Did you all not see that Draft?


The random serpent guy I didn't bother remember was killed and made to look like an overdose with money from a bag with the initials H L on them.


Betty Cooper really carries this episode as she proves that she and Jughead are the real stars of this show and the only two with fully functional brains. She even figures out "hole in jacket" something probably in the linen of the jacket. I mean, probably didn't need Archie to put the dead kid's jacket on, but Archie has been a jerk for a good bit, so yeah. Serves you right. Ghost cooties.

Sheriff Keller is an idiot.

Hiram is getting out of jail, so y'know nature hates a void so we're getting a new evil rich guy! Yay!

Kevin inherited a good deal of Sheriff Rosco's braincells, but luckily he has smart friends who convince him something is up with his boyfriend.

The House GOP reads healthcare bills better than Sheriff Keller examines evidence.  Well, evidence that doesn't get stole from him.

Hal breaks into the Cooper home to destroy the evidence and reveals...ewwww...and of course The Coopers get Polly the heck out of their. The transmission cuts off a bit, but Betty probably said something awesome to Penelope.

The transmission again goes out when Betty and Polly talk. So someone will have to fill me in on what they said.

Betty should be the Sheriff of Riverdale.

Apparently Pop Tates is like Wal-Mart: opened 24/7

Jughead is upset that his dad will stay in jail because...y'know disposing the body, kidnapping, perjury. While I know that this seems right in the normal world, I don't like agreeing with Sheriff Hindrance.

I want to feel bad for Cheryl...but nah. Maybe this will make her a better villain later on. Seriously, you tell everyone that Betty kidnapped and tortured someone...and Betty is still doing Homecoming? Your dad was right, you are a disappointment. :)



So my thoughts, all joking aside. I liked the episode, but I think the mystery could have been done a bit better.

Okay, let's take the Cooper/Blossom thing. Jughead and Betty were researching everything and they never stumbled across this or looked into it? I mean, I'm pretty sure town hall, archives, old newspapers. But whatever.
What bothers me is that this wasn't hinted at. Heck, how about something like "Polly and Jason have the same eyes" or some sort of comment.

And I'm supposed to remember that one random Serpent from when he messed up the costruction site in the dark and in the darkly lit bar?

Just a few subtle hints like when Monk goes over "Here's what happened" and I can go "oh okay, I missed that in the beginning but it's there." Just so I have a chance to get all the clues instead of two big bits revealed that I had no way of knowing. But I will give them credit for Clifford telling the family "I looked our son's killer in the eye" as proof he went to the jail. It's just one or two little tweeks to make this perfect.



But the jacket and it's importance did come up. And again, at least you had the two stars of the show, Betty and Jughead go to their board, eliminate suspect and come down to the finally two, The Blossoms.

And you really feel for Jughead. Man, do you feel for this kid. All the adults dump on him, his dad's in jail and still a criminal, and his mother doesn't want him in her life and when he tries to leave Riverdale he's stuck. Heck, he even moves into the Andrews garage after he overhears Fred not wanting him for fear something could happen to Archie. Great work by Cole.

And Reinhart. Those two are the main reason why I like this show. And Camilla. And the chuckles I get when Archie is just randomly shirtless for no reason but to show his abs. "Hey, let's go jog in my boxers to Ms. Grundy's."



So it was a great episode...and this isn't even the season finale!





10
Hiram: You idiot! You broke my prized vase! I'm going to throw you out myself!

(Archie holds up his shirt to show off his abs.)

Archie: You really think you can?

TWO SECONDS LATER

(Archie is landing on his face outside of the Lodge Estate)

THUD

(Archie begins to pick himself up)

Archie: Why does that have to be the one thing the comic and live action series has in common?


And if Hiram is smart, he keeps Veronica away from Jughead and Betty. It's never good for bad guys to be near meddling kids. :)

11
All About Archie / Riverdale episode 10: The Lost Weekend
« on: April 14, 2017, 10:32:48 AM »
It's Jughead's birthday as Betty tries to throw him a small, nice party--which is ruined by the two main villains of the show. Archie is depressed that not only is he and Valerie through but his parents are finally getting their divorce finalized. Veronica must come to terms with how ruthless her father can be. And Midge has to come to terms that she is non corporeal and that's okay.

Okay I know it's not right to start random musing with preview at the end...but Riverdale is too dangerous and CHICAGO is the better option!??


That's right, I was right as Cheryl teams up with Chuck to cause trouble just because they are both evil jerks who everyone hates, so why not?

I'm really enjoying Bughead as they are both damaged people who are decent human beings who have found each other and have connected. Jughead doesn't think he can be who Betty deserves and Betty thinks she has to be perfect. In the end they realize what they are. Honestly, I thought they were going to break up but Poppa Jones actually was a parent for a good ten seconds.

EEEEE Jughead took his hat off for Betty!!! EEEEE

I mean, Poppa Jones wasn't a parent for the entire kegger party, but hey, he's an alcoholic, thief, and possible murderer. Let's not hold him to too high of standards.

It looks like The Lodge Family has something on the Blossom family as they have forced the red hair clan to pay them a large amount of money every month--for seventy-five years!!! I'm guessing Great grandpa Lodge has evidence showing Great Grandpa Blossom killing Not as Great Cooper. Probably on VHS or something. That was around back then, right?

Speaking of Hiram, he hears that Veronica won't testify that he's a good human being--so he threatens to take down Hermoine with him unless Veronica says exactly what he wants!! Humanitarian of the years, folks.

Veronica: Smithers, is my mom good?

Smithers: A saint.

Veronica: What about my father?

Smithers: He's evil incarnate and has committed acts of cruelty that have made the world an irreversible worse place. I found religion solely on the need to believe there is a hell waiting for him.

Smithers: Oh, and how was school today, miss?

Veronica: ...

I think I might move Chuck up on my "going to get killed" list since he punched the son of a the local gang leader with said gang leader in the room and throwing him out.

And it looks like everyone is starting to get sick of Cheryl as the cheerleaders side with Veronica and even her two newly unemployed henchwomen/ vixens don't even vote for her. I guess it doesn't help that if you breath the wrong way this crazy psycho red head tries to ruin your life. To paraphase a horrible C Reiley movie "THE WRONG TWIN DIED THAT DAY."

To deal with getting dumped and his parents divorce Archie gets drunk before the birthday party and then gets drunk even more during the kegger party. And he even drunk dials his dad after the worst bit of camera work ever on the show thus far.

I like how even Poppa Jones acknowledges that the kids are the ones he needs to worry about.

And he probably feels a lot worse now that so much more information was given out during Cheryl and Chuck's revenge fest.

Joaquin: They're going to find out--they're going to know!

Jones: No they won't.

Cheryl: ...Did you know that Lodge hired the Serpents to ruin the theater?

(Joaquin gives Jones a death glare)

(Jones takes a sip of his beer)

Jones: Meddling kids.


...Actually, come to think of it, it really wasn't that good of a revenge. I mean, yeah, you told about Archie banging Ms. Grundy...but that'll only make him more popular. Veronica nailed Cheryl with the the twincest and killiing her own brother. And in the end, the characters ended up in a better place with Bughead stronger after dealing with issues  and Veronica needed to get some anger out of her system. Heck, Cheryl gave the teens more pieces to the puzzle of the murder of Jason.

...

Wow. Cheryl is a horrible villain. She doesn't succeed at anything! I mean, yeah, she's snarky and gets in good lines, but that's all she is!

Turns out that Alice Cooper used to be a Serpent.

Also Mr. Weatherbee decides it's okay for her to advise on the Blue and Gold because...eh. Whatevers.

She also caught Joaquin talking with Poppa Jones and she told Betty. Yep, Jones, those kids are the ones you have to worry about. BIG TIME.

And Archie and Veronica might be a thing. Well, it's a huge upgrade over Valerie. I swear, there should be a rule about bad Dan Parent ideas staying in one medium only.

Veronica decides to tell the world how great her dad is and he rewards her with a pearl necklace. That's good because she broke the last one out of grief about the parent of a friend who attempted suicide because of him.

Veronica decides to join up with Bughead and crazy mom to investigate what is going on. So yeah, that makes three of the four main characters now in the interesting storyline while Archie...

I dunno, there's about four episodes left in the season so he'll probably be with six different girls, mope about his music, and whine about his parents while occasionally showing his abs. See, I never got the hate for comic Archie, but this guy. Yeah. I get that hate.

Anyway this was a very good episode. The only thing I can say I hated was The Archie drunk camera thing they were going for as it looked really stupid. No episode next week as...there's a gamer contest??

Okay, what's up with these video game tournament shows? TBS has one and now CW? You know what I do when I want to see someone play video games? I go on youtube and watch Markiplier.




12
Hm....

Who are the most likely to die...

Joaquin: Not based on anyone from the comic, is part of whatever is going on with Big Bad Daddy Jones and burning the car and taking evidence. He's got the relationship with Kevin to give him some sympathy (even though he is using Kevin, he does seem to be growing attached to him) and is in a dangerous spot.

Kevin Keller: And to be fair, Kevin's in a dangerous position because of the above. Say he finds out more than he supposed to (J is keeping Jason's jacket). Say, the sheriff's son finds the jacket, he does need to be taken care of. Serves him right for dumping Betty for Veronica.

Big Bad Daddy Jones: Well, he seems to be playing everyone and will likely be at ground zero when the crazy bomb explodes in Riverdale. And he feels he needs to keep evidence as insurance. Someone is out to get him or would want him dealt with.

Sheriff Keller: I can see him getting killed by the killer. Heck, he tried to jail one of the only two people who are actually coming close to finding the real killer.                                               

Mary Andrews: Hey, look who came back...TO DIE??? Maybe.

Hal Cooper: Remember when we thought Alice was the bad one?!? He and the Blossoms hate each other enough to kill one another.

Polly Cooper: And look who is in the middle of the blood feud. Personally, I think she's crazy and Jason's killer. I don't trust these Coopers. Even the nice one is slightly unhinged. I mean, I'm sure the Blossoms are evil...and possibly into inbreeding, but they do seem to really love Jason and are saddened by his death. So her telling Archie what she "suspects" doesn't float the boat with me.

Old lady Blossom. I think her name is Rose: Just old age.

Midge: Granted, we don't have any visual evidence she exists at all...

Reggie: Sorry dude, you're expandable.

Jughead: Turns out, he's a ghost narrating the story!!




13
All About Archie / Re: Riverdale Episode 4
« on: February 19, 2017, 05:35:05 AM »
Liked this episode way better than last week's. Mainly because it got rid of Grundy, at least for a little bit. And that's good for Archie because now he can associate with the best parts of the show: Betty and Veronica.

And...never thought I would say this, but thank you Alice Cooper. And I do like that the show is at least showing she has valid points: Archie sneaking out, The Lodges ARE criminals.

But yeah, Grundy got off easy. And I did like the end, showing she's probably not all that innocent (looking for another teenage boy in another town)

Mayor Josie's Mom Making Riverdale Great Again!

Riverdale has a gang? Lead by Jughead's dad? And Jughead is homeless. No wonder he's so surly.

I'm glad that it was some drive-thru that got closed down...I thought it was going to be Pop's again. I'm just used to it after all these years.




14
Fan Fiction / Jughead in Hearts and Kisses.
« on: February 14, 2017, 08:57:52 PM »
 Page 1
 
Panel one: Jughead is lying in a heap in his bed as his stomach is grumbling. Jughead has half the cover on him so we can see his shorts and feet. One of Jughead’s socks has slipped off his foot. Jughead has his left arm over his eyes as he tries to ignore his stomach. Jughead’s bed and room have various food wrappers and pizza boxes lying on the ground. On his door is a dart board of hate with Trula’s picture on it with five darts on her smirking lips. Lying in a pile are various Derby Dalton comics. On a nearby counter is a picture of The Archies with a slice of pizza lying over it. We can see that he’s mark over Reggie’s face to give him a mustache and missing teeth.
 
Jughead’s stomach: Forsythe Jones the 3rd, rise. We must venture forth early this Valentine’s Day morn.
 
Jughead: No…Valentine’s Day bad…hibernation good…
 
Panel two: Jughead’s eyes pop open as his stomach continue to growl.
 
Jughead’s stomach: Have you forgotten the layaway from a year past, my indolent host?
 
Panel three: Jughead leaps out of bed in pure excitement.
 
Jughead: The giant chocolate frosted sugar supreme bomb of Mama B’s!!
 
Jughead: She only makes it once a year and they sell like hot cakes! I paid her a year in advance to make sure I got the biggest, bestest one!
 
Jughead’s stomach: Yes, YES!  Now, I will wait patiently. Digesting gum to bide the time.
 
Page 2
 
Panel one: Jughead is at his front door as he begins to reach for the door knob as he licks his lips.
 
Jughead: One bite of that delectable sweet will make this entire rotten lovey dovey pish posh fricka frack I’ll have to trudge through worth it!
 
Panel two: Jughead opens the door as Ethel is dressed up in a heart costume with a banner reading: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY. She has her lips puckered for a kiss as Jughead looks blankly at her.
 
Ethel: Do you know what today is, Juggie?
 
Panel three: Jughead just slams the door in her face nonchalantly.
 
Jughead: International Door Slamming Day.
 
SFX: SLAM
 
Panel four: Jughead is walking away from the door as Ethel is knocking on the door.
 
Ethel outside: Hear that? That’s my heart beating for you!
 
Jughead: Thought it was the theme to JAWS.
 
Panel five: Outside Ethel is kicking and punching at the door as Jughead is sneaking out a side window of the house.
 
SFX: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
 
Ethel: Jughead!! Come out!! It’s the day of love!!
 
SFX: KICK KICK
 
Ethel: LOVE!
 
Page 3
 
Panel one: Ethel turns around to see Jughead running away into the distance.
 
Ethel: Sigh. He’s so adorable when he plays hard to get.
 
Panel two: A close up on Ethel as she winks at the reader.
 
Ethel: But this year, Ethel Muggs came prepared.
 
Panel three: Jughead is looking back with a smile as he takes long strides down a sidewalk.
 
Jughead: Well, that’s that for Ethel.
 
Panel four: Jughead is shocked to see Ethel, now dressed in regular clothes right behind him, holding a plate with a cloche over it. Jughead stops in mid stride as he looks on in disbelief that Ethel somehow got ahead of him.
 
Ethel: Juggie! Fancy running into you!
 
Caption: Wait, What?
 
Panel five: Jughead is talking to a caption box as Ethel is frozen in place. The caption box is right at Jughead’s face ast they talk.
 
Jughead: Something wrong?
 
Caption: No. It’s just…. Um…I get your stomach talking to you, but how did she get ahead of you?
 
Panel six: Jughead slightly shrugs his shoulders at the caption box as the caption box tilts as if trying to sneak off the panel.
 
Jughead: You understand how my stomach has gained independent sentience…? You’re loony.
 
Caption: …I’m just going to say out of the way for the rest of the story unless there’s an emergency…
 
 
Page 4
 
Panel one: Over the shoulders of Ethel as Ethel begins to lift the cloche as Jughead turns his head.
 
Ethel: So how about the juggie love ship deck Ethel bay with a kissie wissie?
 
Jughead: The S.S. Jughead has set shore and laid anchor at Never Going To Happen Land.
 
Panel two: Ethel has the cloche up to reveal a pile of delicious chocolate cookies with the chocolate bits shaped like harts. The aroma goes into his nostrils as he is overtaken. Jughead is reaching out with both hands for the cookies as he has his tongue hanging down his chin.
 
Jughead: Raise anchor! Set the sails!
 
Panel three: Ethel slams the lid back down as Jughead bangs his fingers against the cloche as he winces in pain as pain stars surround his hands.
 
Ethel: No so fast!
 
Panel four: Ethel holds out her head and puckers her lips for Jughead to kiss. Jughead is blowing into his pain riddled finger as he tries to blow away the pain stars over each digit. A jogger confused jogger looks on at Jughead not noticing an open manhole.
 
Ethel: If you want cookies in stomach I want lips on lips. A kiss for a cookie. Sugar for sugar.
 
Panel five: Jughead takes a step back off-panel as Ethel closes her eyes and can barely contain herself as she thinks she’s finally going to get all the kisses she wants. The man is leaping out of the manhole as an alligator sticks it’s head out to bite at him.
 
Jughead: Fine. Just give me a few seconds.
 
Ethel: Tee-hee.
 
Page 5
 
Panel one: The entire panel is black with only Ethel’s thought balloon.
 
Ethel thought balloon: It’s finally happening!
 
Panel two: Pure black as the first panel save for the thought balloon.
 
Ethel thinking: And Jughead is so happy! Listen to him pant and bark.
 
Panel three: The panel is pure black save for the middle to show Ethel is opening her eyes to see Hot Dog and Vegas charge at her with their tongues out and overjoyed to see her.
 
Ethel thought balloon: “Pant and bark”? What is—
 
Panel four: Hot Dog and Vegas leap at Ethel and knock her to the ground as the plate of cookies fly in the air and Jughead happily waits for it to fall into his open hands.
 
Ethel: ACCKK
 
Panel five: In the foreground, Hot Dog and Vegas are licking Ethel’s face all over as this tickles her as she struggles to stop them while laughing her head off. In the background, Jughead is walking away while eating the last cookie as he leaves the plate and cloche on the sidewalk. In the background, a penguin with a hand glider is dropping a box of chocolates to the alligator as it waves hello to the penguin.
 
Jughead: Kiss for cookies.
 
Jughead: It’s for the dogs.
 
Ethel: Hee Hee! Stop Stop!!
 
Page 5
 
Panel one: Jughead is walking past an antique shop called Golden Oldies Retros as he has a strut in his step as he is happy he got rid of Ethel for a bit. Walking past him is Maria and Frankie and Chuck and Nancy.All of Riverdale is decorated in red and pink with red hearts hanging on poles and even a stop light with hearts shaped lights. On other shop windows are various drawings of cartoon boys and girls giving each other cards.

 
Jughead: Well, took care of Ethel, and now to get my just reward.
 
 
Panel two: Jughead walks up to Mama B’s bakery to see that a long light of teenage boys are waiting in line and out the sidewalk. Each one has a pink or red envelop in their arms. Jughead tips his hat as he’s concerned by what he sees.
 
Jughead: Curses. There goes my hope and dreams of this being a six page story. If there’s one thing I hate more than Valentine’s Day, its extra work.
 
Jughead: Well, work in general. Just effort specifically.

 
Panel three: Jughead taps the shoulder of one of the angry teens in front of him as he is scribbling on a Valentine’s Day card.
 
Jughead: Pardon.
 
Angry teen: What’d ya want, string bean?
 
Jughead: Two things: one, when did everyone come down with a sever case of sweet tooth…
 
Jughead: …and two, can I skip ahead. I already prepaid a year back and all the red and pink is making me nauseous. I’ll be in and out.
 
Panel four: The teen grabs Jughead by collar and lifts him off the ground. Jughead’s face remains stoic to everything.
 
Angry teen: We all forgot today was Valentine ’s Day and we now we need to get our sweeties’ chocolates to show how much we love them!
 
Jughead: Sounds to me you fellas forgot the wrong type of date.
 
Panel five: The angry teen to the approval of the other angry boyfriends toss Jughead right at the reader as Jughead does his best to try and flap his arms hoping it will help him fly and not be injured.
 
Angry teen: --And as for skipping ahead of us all after we’ve waited hours—
 
Angry teen: SCRAM!!!
 
Caption: EMERGENCY! Readers, duck! He’s coming right at you!!
 
Page 7
 
Panel one: Jughead falls into the arms of Moose as Jughead tips his hat to him.
 
SFX: Plop
 
Moose: Duh, Jughead I didn’t know you could fly.
 
Jughead: Anything can fly if you propel if fast enough. It’s the land that’s normally the problem. Thanks, Moose.
 
Panel two: Moose sets Jughead down as Jughead looks back with a sinister glare at the line of boyfriends just a few feet away from him.
 
Jughead: So guess you’re out getting gifts for Midge for his hallmark holiday.
 
Moose: Nah, I don’t read books. But I did get my Midgie a few Valentine ’s Day gifts last week. Only the best for Midge.
 
Jughead: Huh. Funny thing…
 
Panel three: Jughead points back at the line of teens who are all reading and comparing cards. Over the left side of the panel we can see Moose become enraged as blood vessels in his arms and fists pop out.
 
Jughead: Those guys were getting the best chocolates for Midge. I told them the lady was spoken for, but they gave me the heave ho.
 
Moose: IS. THAT. SO.
 
Panel four: Moose’s finger taps the angry teen’s shoulder as he begins to turn around, not knowing who it is.
 
Angry teen: Look, needle nose, I’m getting my girl her stupid chocolate and that’s that!!
 
Angry Teen: Wah---?
 
Panel five: Moose is towering over the angry teen and all the other teenage boys waiting in line as he looks demonic. Moose has flaming skulls in his eyes and his skin tone is a bright red as he is so enraged. Moose’s hair is standing up straight. Steam is erupting from Moose’s ears like a volcano and he is snorting flames. Behind him Moose, Jughead is pointing with a free hand at the sign he is holding that reads: You say scram, I say VAMOOSE.
 
Moose: RRAAAARRRRRRR
 
 
 
Page 8
 
Panel one: Jughead is at the counter to Mama B’s as Mama B is confused as to what happened to all her customers as she walks back behind the counter from the back. She has small specks of floor on her face and apron. Jughead has set the sign he had on the counter as play innocent.
 
Mama B: Jughead! Where did you come from?
 
Jughead: If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that, I’d have Hiram Lodge as my butler.
 
Panel two: A close-up on Jughead as he has his arms folded on the counter as he eagerly waits to get his chocolate frosted supreme sugar bomb. Mama B is trying to hold her laughter as she is reaching down behind the counter. In the background through the windows Mama B’s, Moose is still chasing after every guy who was waiting ahead of Jughead.
 
Mama B: I meant what happened to that long line, child.
 
Jughead: Well, let’s just say, Cupid’s arrow isn’t the only thing that’s going to strike them today.
 
 
Panel three: Mama B opens a large sized flat box that the reader can’t see over her shoulders but Jughead looks at it as his face twists in disgust.
 
Mama B: It doesn’t matter, and don’t fret, Mama B has an elephant’s memory. I know why you’re here.  I made you treat just how you like it and even gave it a special design for the holiday.
 
Jughead: It’s like something from my nightmares.
 
Panel four: Mama B closes the lid and pulls the box back slightly much to Jughead’s chagrin.
 
Aunt B. Well, if you don’t like it, I can just give you your money back. I’m sure someone else would appreciate—
 
Panel five: Jughead snatches the box as Aunt B chuckles to herself.
 
Jughead: I eat with my eyes closed and mouth wide open. This is not a problem!
 
Mama B: Mmm-humm.
 
 
 
Page 9
 
Panel one: Jughead looks at the box in his hand with a smile as he struggles to carry it, happy with his purchase as he walks back to his home as he is now in a suburban area of Riverdale.
 
Jughead: Not a fan of the chocolate sculpting, but I don’t understand how an unfinished statue with no arms is considered a work of art.
 
Jughead: Besides, it will be delicious. I waited a year for this. Nothing is going to ruin this for me.
 
Panel two: Jughead is turning the corner as he hears a noise that stops him in his track.
 
Ethel off panel: Sob Sob.
 
Panel three: Ethel is sitting on the sidewalk crying into her arms as Jughead looks on sympathetically. Sitting next to her is Hot Dog and Vegas. Hot Dog leans his head sympathetically towards her while Vegas licks her elbow as he tries to make her feel better.
 
Ethel: (sniff sniff) All I wanted…was to wish him a Happy Valentine’s day…!
 
Ethel: (Sob sob) And maybe just one little kiss…is just one kiss asking so much....
 
Panel four: Jughead looks down at the box as he exhales and his lips flutter his facial expression is one that says” easy come, easy go.”
 
Panel five: Jughead walks up to Ethel and taps her shoulder as Ethel turns her head up towards him.
 
Ethel: Huh?
 
Panel six: Jughead offers the box with his chocolate frosted sugar supreme bomb inside as Ethel is perplexed by Jughead’s actions and words.
 
Jughead: This is the best anyone can ever hope for.

 
Page 10
 
Panel one: Betty and Veronica are walking along the street as Betty and Veronica are each carrying several boxes of different size and shapes of candy.
 
Veronica: Bettykins, I’d have to say this was a nice year for us both.
 
Betty: And even better day for our dentist, Ronnie.
 
Panel two: Betty and Veronica are walking down the same street that Jughead had been before he saw Ethel from the last page. Veronica is rolling her eyes and smiling at Betty’s comment.
 
Betty: I say we share with our friends. Like Ethel. Poor girl spends her entire day chasing the same boy all for naught. I can’t imagine what that’s like.
 
Veronica: Sure you can’t.
 
Panel three: Betty turns to Veronica to argue as a wide eyed Veronica is pointing straight ahead.
 
Betty: I saw that! I saw you roll your eyes!
 
Veronica: Really? Good. Now look at that and tell me what I’m seeing!
 
Panel four: In the foreground, Ethel is standing up and is kissing the now revealed giant puckered lips chocolate frosted sugar bomb as she has melted chocolate covering her face and dripping down her arms as Hot Dog and Vegas happily wait for each chocolate drop to hit their extended tongues as they happily wag their tails. In the background, Betty and Veronica are in shock and let their arms down and their valentine candy falls at their feet.
 
Ethel: BEST
 
Smooch
 
Ethel: VALENTINE’S DAY
 
Smooch
 
Ethel: EVER!!
 
THE END.
 

15
Reviews / PTF Reviews Target: Jughead
« on: January 25, 2017, 02:17:18 AM »
 PTF Reviews Target: Jughead.
 
Man, the things you find at a late January yard sale! I guess global warming isn’t so bad afterall. Trust me, when I went into that old ladies y-sale, I did not expect to find digests (Jughead with Archie 171-173...for a dollar! WHOOO!) containing a story I’ve been looking for forever, along with all issues of the Kevin Keller series and a certain infamous storyline round these parts. Oh, and The Changling. But the DVD didn’t work so that’s one dollar wasted, but does the first Trula Twyst story live up to the hype? Let’s find out!
 
Jughead is paranoid. The boys of Riverdale High believe he is faking being a woman hater and this one particular curly haired girl is everywhere he goes. Is there a connection, a scheme, if so what?
 
The Good.
 
Boldman and Lindsey: The ultimate Jughead crew. I really can’t think of a single story by these two that I hate. And they had over ten years. And this story is one of their best. Jughead is at his quirkiest and wittiest. Jughead dealing with each agents of J.U.S.T. by eating, sleeping, or just turning one into a couch potato. How I miss closed eyes, witty, cunning Jughead over opened eyes, “happy-happy-cray-cray” Jughead. And the build to this story is really good. Trula is brought in as possible an innocent victim of circumstance, to the reader thinking she’s just another one off character Jughead will best to…wow. She won. And the design for Trula Twyst probably looks familiar because Lindsey used this design for a lot of one time characters. Let’s see there was a girl at museum, softball player, and girlfriend to Mad Doctor Mad’s sidekick, Chester. At least I think it was Chester or a handsome rip off of the guy.
 
Anyway, the character designs (and there’s quite a few) are great, each character looks different in some way. It’s just a great classic Archie art from the most underrated Archie artist. ...And kudos for the ominous wind whenever the orange door is in panel after part one. It's just super funny to me.

 
 
 
Trula Twyst: Easily one of my favorite supporting characters of Archie Comics. I’ve always considered Jughead the Bugs Bunny of Archie Comics. Trula Twyst is the tortoise or The Gremlin. A character that the usually invincible can’t beat because they’re just better than the main character at being clever. And she is at all time form in this story that sees her manipulate everyone at Riverdale High, with Jughead being the lynch pin to her plans, and she wins. Plays everyone like a fiddle with not a single hiccup along the way. And the thing is: she’s just so witty and entertaining you’re fine with it. She’s smart, able to hang with Jughead in the wit department, and she is pleasant to everyone. She’s just manipulative and dead set on getting her end result.
 
 I think my favorite part in the story that shows she is a threat is at The Chocklit Shop. Jughead is pretending he wants a girlfriend and chooses Trula (hoping to make guys want to date her/unwittingly doing exactly what she wants) Jughead breaks character when he orders an oversized ice cream cone and doesn’t plan to get Trula anything. Trula’s response? Just break the lower part of the cone off. Closely followed is Jughead’s reaction to Trula telling him she tricked him. One of the few times when Jughead is at a lost for words and loses his composure not food related. Well, until later encounters with Trula.
 
Each part is twelve pages and it just flows really well.

 
 
 
The Bad:
 
The Coloring: We have a few problems with the coloring in this three part story. In the first part, Trula’s hair is more of a brownish red instead of just red. Also the dreaded orange door that leads to the lair of Trula Twyst…is brown until the last part of the story. I kind of understand Trula’s hair because she is just introduced. But the door is said to be orange. I guess Barry Grossman decided to read the script at part three a bit better. But besides these minor problems, the typical great job from Barry Grossman.
 
The wait. I had to find this at an old lady’s yard sale!?! What the heck, Archie Comics?! Some intern lose a box labeled “Boldman characters?” Sorry for bringing back bad memories to the furries out there. Totally insensitive on my part.
 
What I learned from reading:
 
 There’s always someone better than you at what you’re the best at.
  • Rhymatic channel surfing is a lost art. (Stupid DVRs making it easy on lazy kids these days)
  • It’s not how thick a thief is, but how crooked.
  • Girls are way more organized than boys.
  • Everyone wants what someone else has.
  • Poetry reading helps move along a good nap.
  • You’re not paranoid if someone really is out to get you.
  • Dumpsters are the best hiding spots in comics.
  • Jughead dating throws off the entire universe.
  • Beware of orange doors!!!
 
And there we have it. A story I’ve long waited to be reprinted in a digest…and end up just lucking into it. Trula seems to be a pretty popular character…so we don’t we ever see more of her? I remember reading how she wasn’t going to be used much, but was popular with the readers. And I can see why: good character design, her mind games set her apart from the other characters, and she’s just a great nemesis for Jughead.
 
Why she didn’t appear near the end before the reboot or even show up in the reboot? I have no idea. Best I can figure that in the end it was down to Ruiz and Parent and each had characters they preferred. Trula wasn’t one of them. I’d like to say that Trula will be in the new verse one day—but I’m still wondering if Jughead has a baby sister or if Ethel exists in the Jughead book. But the thing is with Trula or any other character that isn’t getting the representation we all like: there are still stories out there to find. Sure it’s harder, but after all the waiting I had for this story, it made reading it more special. Of course, I’m saying that as someone who accomplished his quests so…have fun slaying your dragons, folks, I’m done! WHOOO!!
 
 
 
Grade: A. The worst is a few miscolorings. This is a classic story that should be read. HEAR THAT ARCHIE COMICS. …Oh, you’re busy making a one shot Jughead as a werewolf. Sorry for interrupting your important business.
 
And for my next review Betty and Veronica: Farewell Riverdale. Betty & Veronica 272-277  I read one part of this years back and…it wasn’t good. Maybe time has aged this story like fine wine. And c’mon, I got these issues for two bucks. It’s going to be hard to not be worth the money.
 
Right?
 
Right…?
 

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