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  • Tuxedo Mark: New Sabrina's new Instagram welcome message: [link]
    July 14, 2018, 03:29:59 PM
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "The New Archies": "Gunk for Gold": [link]
    July 11, 2018, 11:09:16 PM
  • Vegan Jughead: Pretty sure Archie Comics, being New York based, knows someone at the Times
    July 11, 2018, 06:15:50 AM
  • ASS-P: I just find it " How things have changed " weird when comic book news breaks in The New York Times...but they hardly SELL anything! :-0 Strangeness.
    July 10, 2018, 10:42:57 AM
  • CAPalace: I'm a woman btw and I'm just so sick of the blatant anti-men thing going on in comics these days. It's not doing women any favors either. :/
    July 09, 2018, 09:05:40 PM
  • CAPalace: They're banking on Archie 700 to sell a lot because "lol a new number wow lol" and it will for the first issue but it'll just go back to the average/poor numbers it had before. And YOU KNOW with that writer on B+V it's going to turn into an anti-men, oooh girl power lol violence against men and demeaning men is feminism and fun lol lol Good luck. I'll stick to Ebay to find the DeCarlo stuff thanks.
    July 09, 2018, 09:04:54 PM
  • Tuxedo Mark: I'm looking forward to the new B&V series. Personally, I think that previous B&V series by what's-his-name was way worse than anything that Rotante wrote on Vixens.
    July 09, 2018, 08:43:47 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: So, so predictable... they love to exploit NUMBERS, whether it's a single digit (1 or 0) or a triple-digit ending in 00. Good lord, I can't believe they're actually giving Jamie Rotante ANOTHER B&V series to write ruin! She is the worst I've read -- although it's a tough call, Marguerite Bennett was pretty horrible as well. Nick Spencer can actually be quite good as a writer... or pretty bad, depending on the character and the direction. He was great on ANT-MAN and SUPERIOR FOES OF SPIDER-MAN (both books that had a strong humorous subtext), and not so hot on CAPTAIN AMERICA and THE AVENGERS. And he's he new writer on (yet another) first issue of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, so I wouldn't guess the ARCHIE gig will last. ACP could probably only afford to hire him for that ONE issue, #700.
    July 09, 2018, 06:00:07 PM
  • Vegan Jughead: News on new numbering for the Archie Flagship series and a new B&V series and DeCarlo Rules, you ain't gonna be into this!  And really neither am I: [link]
    July 09, 2018, 01:37:43 PM
  • Mr.Lodge: I still think 'The Married Life' was the best of the most recent and ended way too soon.
    July 06, 2018, 04:46:36 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: No "big news about the flagship ARCHIE title" could possibly rock my world, short of CLASSIC ARCHIE RETURNS!
    July 06, 2018, 01:18:04 PM
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "Sweetwater" from Riverdale One-Shot: [link]
    July 05, 2018, 08:44:20 PM
  • Vegan Jughead: ARCHIE isn't on hiatus officially. The last official word from Archie Comics is that there is "big news about the flagship ARCHIE title" coming up after the "1941" miniseries. We'll see. RIVERDALE is supposed to come back early '19 after the TV show returns.
    July 05, 2018, 06:14:32 AM
  • Mr.Lodge: Think it's time for new leadership, especially in the creative front?
    July 05, 2018, 03:09:04 AM
  • DeCarlo Rules: I guess there's still THE HUNGER and VAMPIRONICA, but they're still so new that it's hard to think of them as "ongoing".
    July 05, 2018, 12:14:16 AM
  • DeCarlo Rules: So both ARCHIE and RIVERDALE are "on hiatus"? That means ACP has no ongoing floppy comic titles. Not a good sign. Good thing they still have the digests going (knock on wood).
    July 05, 2018, 12:12:47 AM
  • Vegan Jughead: I'm sure it has been; it was a dumb concept LOL.  The RIVERDALE comic is on hiatus until at least early 2019 and I'm skeptical it will ever come back.
    July 04, 2018, 04:37:17 PM
  • Tuxedo Mark: Has Riverdale Digest been cancelled? There hasn't been a new issue since #7 on March 21.
    July 04, 2018, 11:52:23 AM
  • Oldiesmann: Latest round of spam has been cleaned up
    July 03, 2018, 10:03:33 AM
  • CAPalace: @Oldiesmann I think you just made the spam bots mad... They're back with a vengenance.
    July 03, 2018, 04:30:16 AM

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Messages - PTF

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Reviews / PTF Reviews Telepathetic #1
« on: Today at 12:46:24 AM »
 Got a PM from the Sitcomics creator wanting me to review the first issue of his other three series, which are still downloadable from free on the Sitcomics official website. And I decided why not, since I love the inflated sense of self esteem critiquing the hard work of others brings.
I know what you guys are thinking? “PTF, how do we know you weren’t bought off to give good reviews like all the other online reviewers?” Listen here, I have pride! I will be my usual fair and impartial self throughout this and all other reviews!
But on an unrelated note before I begin the standard intro—K.C. Undercover is the greatest Disney show ever. Much better than Jessie. The only thing that could possibly rival  K.C. Undercover is Shake It Up. But only from 2012 to 2013.
Now that that’s out of the way---
For four years, ninth graders Ernie and Marsha have tried to develop telepathic powers. And now—they have. Will Ernie get the girl? Will Marsha help Ernie cheat on tests? It’s a whole new world that’s open as we delve into…
The Good.
The story. This promoted as a “for all ages.” And it definitely fits the bill. I wouldn’t have a problem with any kid reading this. And the story is fun: two best friends want to develop super powers and finally get one: telepathy. The first issue sets up their lives, both are only the lower social order at school, even below band. It’s a real quick read, but it’s a fun read. It does most of what a first issue should, introduce the characters, grasp the theme of the series, and the direction it’s going. Special note is the subtle foreshadowing and the ending. Awesome.
The characters: Well, we only get to know two of the four main characters (if going by the introduction page) but it’s good.
Dirk is the easy going, seemingly confident, eccentric kid who pines for the most beautiful girl in school, but she doesn’t take him seriously. And you really root for the guy. While he is a little mischievous, he’s a nice kid. And we get some real depth to him. He doesn’t have a great relationship with his father (who makes him walk a mile before he can have school lunch) and he opens up to Marsha when he acknowledges he’s not what he wishes he was and being a superhero is the only way to get respect.
Marsha. She’s more of the straightman, but she does have her quirks. She stresses about a writing contest to the point she feels like she’s going to throw up. Bit of a deadpan snarker, which I like. And it’s hard to not like a character who supports her idiot friend like she does.
Amy and Beth get the short end of the stick, but we get enough of them to get a good idea on their personality and disposition.
So great work by Darin Henry.
The art. Okay, I’m going to be honest, when I looked at the cover of this issue, I didn’t think I would like the art style, but as I read, the art and colors of Blair Shedd became my favorite thing about the issue. I swear, when I was looking at this book, Akiko sprung to my mind. For those not as knowledgeable/not old as dirt like me, it was a fun little book in the nineties where the art style was simple, but the characters had real synergy to them. Same with Telepathetic, best seen with Dirk having to jog his mile in the hallways and the facial reactions throughout the issue.
But what Akiko didn’t have going for it was color. The colors really pop. I’ve given Glen Whitmore heaps of well deserved praise in my reviews and this is very close to that level. The shading and lighting on characters is really good. Just how the shading of hair to the head is something that I don’t see in a lot of the Big Two comics (X-Men Gold if someone wants a specific example) Even better, it would have been real easy to just go “White Room” with the Brain Hole, but it is radiant, there’s energy to it. And I love the idea of yellow for the flashbacks of Marsha and Dirk trying to develop super powers.
All in all, amazing work by Blair Shedd. But there is one thing I’m more impressed by. The greatest thing I have seen in all of the issues of Sitcomics…maybe even comics I have ever read--
That vest. Seriously, how the heck did that vest with that design stay consistent throughout the entire comic?!! We still can’t get an issue where the rocks that comprise Marvel’s The Thing look the same after a few panels!!  Even if computers were involved, I’m impressed.
Marshall Dillon. Not only does he have the greatest parents ever for giving him that name, but he’s a heck of a letterer. I love the designs of the caption boxes. It says something when I go back to look at caption boxes. The sound effects are really well done, especially Adam and his misfortunes at the water fountain. Just great work like normal.
The Bad:
The art. I love the art, but there is one little gripe. On page nine, there’s a panel where Ernie’s hands are as big as his entire head.  So we got a boo-boo in a park of Yogi’s.
PDF Files. Adobe Reader has never been a friend.
The intro page: “Or mentally control a basketball so you never miss a shot?” That’s not telepathy! That’s telekinesis! They are totally different psionic powers!!!
What I learned from what I read
 Amy seems like a nice girl, but she has a warped sense of humor.
  • It’s amazing how shutting your mouth leads to discovery.
  • Adam is like a camel.
  • Another interpretation of the Brain Hole is what John Byrne used to do when he didn’t feel like drawing stuff. Just less shiny.
  • That Nibbles went hungry.
  • Cheating, from the right perspective, could be seen as a team building skill.
  • It takes four years of training to develop telepathy.
  • Marsha should forget these short story contests. They’re rigged. And no, I’m not a sore loser. My story had tens and nines marked before they made them all six’s!!
  • Apparently the Brain Hole is open to everyone.
Yeah, this was a really great issue. There’s only the minorest of complaints.  It’s a really great comic that I think everyone can enjoy. And you can check out this book and other Sitcomic books as the first issues are available for free.
It’s an A for this issue
And next time I’ll be reviewing Z-People. Will it hold up or will it be a dead duck that feasts geese and other parkland critters? Find out soon?


So there's going to be an evil Archie running around causing havoc? :)

Fan Fiction / Archie & Me: Prank Attack
« on: June 17, 2018, 01:42:19 PM »
 Page one
Panel one: The setting is a Riverdale High School hallway as Archie is about to open his locker. Peering from a corner is Reggie who looks on with a sneer.
Reggie: Reggie Mantle, you’re a no good ne’er do well, but you do bad ever so well!
Panel two: Archie is surprised as twenty small super balls leap out of his locker.
Archie: Whah--!?
Panel three: Archie is stumbling around and falling as the bouncy balls are leaping all around him and are under his feet as he begins to trip.
Archie: Whoa! Hey! One at a time! Be fair!
Panel four: Archie falls on his backside as the bouncy balls seem to target him and begins to bounce on him as he tries to shield his head and back. Reggie looks on with a giant chuckle as several students gather around and laugh at Archie.
Reggie: Looks like you’re having a ball, Freckles! Lots of them!
Reggie: Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk!
Archie thinking: I don’t know what hurts worse: my pride from embarrassment, my rear because I fell, or my ears for hearing that joke!
Page 2
Panel one: Archie has a rubber band tied to two ends of a hallway as he stretches the giant rubber band out as it has a water balloon on it. Several students look on with perplexed looks.
Archie thinking: I don’t care if I get detention! I’ve been Reggie’s punching bag for over three weeks! I want payback!
Panel two: Archie is focusing dead ahead as he does not notice Reggie sneaking up on him.
Archie thinking: A man can only take so much!
Panel three: Archie is still focusing dead ahead as Reggie sticks his index finger at his mouth to signal for the readers to be quiet.
Archie thinking: Where is he?! He’s normally here by now so he can step on the back of my shoes while I’m walking to class!
Panel four: Archie lets go of the rubber band as Reggie yells right into Archie’s ear startling him.
Archie: AAAH
SFX: Fling
SFX: Splash
Panel five: Reggie is falling on the floor laughing as he points at a drenched Mr. Weatherbee who glares at Archie. In a pool of water, Mr. Weatherbee’s hair piece is floating. Archie’s face has gone white like he’s seen death itself. In the background Chloe is taking a picture while the Twitters are on their phones.
Reggie: Ha Ha Ha! Out of all the people! Only you, Arch! Only you!
Mr. Weatherbee: Mr. Andrews. My office. NOW!
Page 3
Panel one: Archie is in Mr. Weatherbee’s office as Mr. Weatherbee is using a blow dryer to dry off his hair piece. Archie has his feet crossed under the chair and is gripping the arms of the chair tightly like he was about to see the executioner.
Mr. Weatherbee: Of all the juvenile, bonehead, idiotic things--!
Mr. Weatherbee: Explain yourself!
Panel two: Archie tries to explain as Mr. Weatherbee happily puts his hairpiece back on his head.
Archie: It’s Reggie! For the last three weeks he’s been pranking me nonstop! Spoiled milk, itching powder in my gym shorts, gluing me to the flag pole!
Archie:  I just wanted a little payback!
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee points at Archie to leave as Archie nearly trips over his own feet as he is getting out of his chair.
Mr. Weatherbee: Revenge does not fly in my school, nor in society! An eye for an eye leads to blindness! You’ve got two weeks of detention! Now hurry to you next class.
Archie: Yes, sir…
Panel four: Ms. Grundy is walking into Mr. Weatherbee’s office as Archie has his head and arms lowered and his back arched as he looks totally defeated. Mr. Weatherbee waves it off.
Ms. Grundy: Seems you threw the book at him, Waldo.
Mr. Weatherbee: He launched a water balloon at me! Fair’s fair!
Page 4
Panel one: Ms. Grundy is talking with Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee looks over behind his desk at a box filled with various pranks like rubber chicken, paper airplanes, rubber chickens, and whoopee cushions. Just anything you want to throw in.
Ms. Grundy: Spoken like a rational adult!
Mr. Weatherbee: I admit Reggie has far endeared himself as the class clown, but wanting to get back at someone is petty and disruptive.
Panel two: Ms. Grundy is smiling at Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee folds his arms and looks away.
Ms. Grundy: I’m not excusing Archie’s actions…but I can’t help think back to my days in high school when a certain boy was the butt of someone else’s fun.
Mr. Weatherbee: Hmph. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Panel three: Ms. Grundy is walking away as Mr. Weatherbee rolls his eyes upwards as a thought balloon begins to appear over his head.
Ms. Grundy: I’m just saying maybe a certain someone should be more sympathetic to his plight.
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee has a thought balloon of several pranks pulled at his expense by a big nosed kid with curly hair to a teenage version of himself. One image has the big nose teen clanging cymbals right behind Teenage Weatherbee’s ear. The next image has Teenage Weatherbee slipping on a banana peel as the big nose kid eats a banana. The next image is winter where Teenage Mr. Weatherbee has his nose frozen on a flag pole as the big nose kid laughs at him. The final image is Teenage Weatherbee talking with Teenage Grundy as the big nose kid puts a frog down the back of his shirt.
Mr. Weatherbee: Hmmm…
Page 5
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee cups his hands over his chin as his stern facial expression eases.
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee looks at the box of pranks.
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee turns back to his desk and taps his nose with his index finger as he begins to think as he uses his other hand to go in the intercom.
Mr. Weatherbee: Ms. Philips. Please call Archie Andrews to my office.
Ms. Philips. On the dot, sir.
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee has his hands clasped as he leans in his chair as he has the box of pranks on his desk as Archie enters his office.
Archie: You wanted to see me, sir?
Mr. Weatherbee: Yes. As I was sitting here, I thought of a new punishment for you to teach you against pulling absurd pranks on school grounds.
Archie: (Gulp)
Page 6
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee motions at the box of pranks on his desk as Archie walks up to his desk.
Mr. Weatherbee: As a symbolic act that you understand pranks, gags, and shenanigans have no place in Riverdale High, I want you to dispose of these years of collected “humorous” items.
Panel two: Archie frowns as he begins to take the box, but Mr. Weatherbee holds up a hand to stop him.
Archie: I’ll just place them in the dumpster out back and head back to detention sir.
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie. You are not listening to me.
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee has a mischievous smile on his face as he talks to a confused Archie
Mr. Weatherbee: I don’t want these on school grounds. PERIOD. You can take them anywhere else and do with them as you may as long as its not here.
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee winks at Archie as he punches his open hand with a fist. Archie is all smiles as Archie reaches for the box.
Mr. Weatherbee: Understand?
Archie: Do I!
Panel five: Archie dashes out of Mr. Weatherbee’s office with the box of pranks as Mr. Weatherbee turns his chair to the side and leans back as he has a smile from ear to ear.
Archie: After detention, I’ll take care of it right away, sir!
Mr. Weatherbee: That’s a good boy.
Page 7
Panel one: Reggie is sitting at a chair at The Chocolate Shop as he leaps out of his seat in alarm as it sounds like he farted. The panel should be a lower view to show that a small walkie talkie is taped to the seat. In the background, we can see Archie making the nose. Jughead is walking by Reggie, pinching his nose while eating a burger.
Panel two: Reggie is talking with Veronica in Pickens Park as an air plane with a small chute at the bottom drops several ice cubes down Reggie’s back as Reggie’s tilts his body back and shivers. Veronica looks on with a smile.
Panel three: Reggie is running down a district of Riverdale past Moose and Midge as he has several toy teeth biting his rear. Moose nearly falls over laughing as Midge has to hold him up while giggling at Reggie.
Panel four: Reggie is in his bathroom looking in a mirror to see that the shampoo he washed his hair with has turned his hair purple.
Reggie: !!!
Panel five: Archie is outside of Reggie’s house in the early morning as Reggie has a ball cap over his head as he is just outside. Archie is peeking from the side of Reggie’s house as he blows on a dog whistle. Reggie is confused as he is holding up a T-bone steak left out for him that reads: FOR REGGIE.
Panel six: Reggie is being pounced on by Hot Dog, Rebel, Runty, Vegas, and several other dogs as they try to get the steak.
Page 8
Panel one: A happy Archie is walking down the hallway as he waves hello to an arriving to his office Mr. Weatherbee who is wearing a long coat and hat.
Archie: Hello, Mr. Weatherbee.
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie.
Mr. Weatherbee: I trust you took care of that rather nasty box.
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee and Archie turn their heads as a battered, bruised, tattered clothes wearing, purple haired Reggie is staggering towards them.
Panel three: Reggie looks at Archie in pure fright.
Panel four: Reggie begins to run away from Archie as several students move out of the way of the panicking Reggie. Mr. Weatherbee is pretending that he is covering his mouth for a cough while he is secretly laughing at Reggie.
Reggie: AAAAHHHHH!!!
Archie: Yes. Yes, I did.
The End

Fan Fiction / Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 17, 2018, 12:52:44 PM »

Page 13

Panel one: Stewart is drinking the soda as he curls his lips while keeping his chin on the stirring wheel as he tries super hard to act like he’s a tough guy like Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry.

Stewart: Got my wheels, got my attitude set to testicular fortitude—

Panel two: A shot on the street to see Stewart just a few streets away from the source of the red spell smoke as the cloudy sky begins to clear up with a hint of the moon now in view of the reader. Behind the car Vera is chasing after the mostly undressed fanboys of Surfer Dude and Rat Man.

Stewart in car: --Got the place I need to be in my line of sight!

Vera: Get back here! I haven’t even shown you my bomp!

Rat Man fanboy: This has to be a dream! I don’t know how I got to this!  This has to all be a dream!

Surfer dude fanboy: If her “bomp” is like her “crunch” it’s a living nightmare!

Panel three: Stewart looks over at a pet shop as he has a light bulb being screwed in by several stick figures. Coming out of the pet shop is a man cstruggling with a fifty pound bag over his shoulders while he leaves with a small dachshund on a leash. The name of the pet shop is Pat’s Pet Pitt Potpourri (Say that ten times really fast in store, half off your purchase,) In front of Stewart, further along the street, the fanboys are throwing rocks at Vera to try and keep her back to no avail as she uses her arms as shields and keeps moving forward.

Stewart: And that gives me an idea crazy enough to work.

Page 14

Panel one: A shot of the run down Mr. Sweeps as Stewart is Aaron’s car is beginning to slowly drive into view. The building has seen better days as the Mr. Sweeps character is now very warped and scary looking, the building has decayed and been unkempt. The red smoke is beginning to disperse as the last cloud over the moon fades away. One side of the building has an open window.

Videl inside: Finally, the die has been cast, the last obstacle cleared, now begins my renewed youth!

Panel two: Videl is sideways in the foreground as she is walking away from the new empty cauldron. A disappointed Pagan is looking in to see if anything is left. Pagan has a thought balloon of fish bones with a giant X over where the eyes used to be.

Videl: Are you two ready?

Panel three: Jess and Kelly are glaring straight ahead as they both are irritated at Videl’s comment.

Kelly: “Are you two ready?” Like we have a choice!

Jess: At least give us a last request. Ram your head into that wall until your brain bleeds out.

Panel four: Videl waves her hand as the brooms holding the girls captives begins to tilt as they rise towards the hole beaming moonlight into the warehouse. In the background a scent begins to come from the open window and gets Pagan’s attention as he has hearts over his head.

Videl: Heh. Amusing are they not, Pagan?

Panel five: Pagan begins to leap out the window as Videl scoffs at him.

Videl: Pagan?

Videl: Oh, go about the night if that’s your desire. As for me…

Panel six: The girls are hanging over head with their shadows casting on the ground just at Videl’s feet as Videl looks on with a sneer as the girls twist and turn trying to break free as their chains cause enough slack to lower them down to the point their shackles are just a their heads.

Videl: I will be beautiful again.

Kelly: Not on the inside where it counts!!

Page 15

Panel one: Pagan is just outside as he sniffs around with a giant happy smile on his face like a drunkard looking for another can of beer in the fridge.

Panel two: Pagan’s eyes light up in joy.

Panel three: Pagan is happily going through a bag of catnip as Stewart looks on as he tips his hat trying to look super cool.

Stewart: A magic cat is still a cat no matter what.

Stewart: Now, for the next part of my ingenious, well thought out plan.

Page 16

Panel one: Over the shoulders of Jess and Kelly as they twist and turn as they try to burst free. Videl is casting her spell with her eyes closed as red energy gathers around her and lifts up her head and dirty gray hair. The girls shadows are stretching over Videl.

Videl: Oh ancient spirits of the night, venture forth hear my plight. Worms in ground, crows in sky; tell time a viscous lie--

Kelly: Jess! These shackles just won’t break!

Jess: I know! I know!

Panel two: A close up on Jess’s face she notices the key hole to her shackles close to her head.

Jess: Kel, look!

Kelly: But we don’t have anything to pick the lock.

Panel three: Jess extends her fangs and uses her left fang to pick the lock to her first shackle as Kelly looks on impressed.

Jess: Wanna bet?

Kelly: Holy Houdini, Dracula Woman! You’re my hero.

Jess: Hey, the fangs, cape, and thong aren’t for show.

Panel four: A close up on Jess’s face as she is curly her mouth and trying to go as fast as she can.

Videl Below: One final word to my request upon he of pitch fork and cloven hoof—

Jess thinking: I swear, if I get out of this, I’ll give Trevor his date. Ands for Stewart I’ll--

Page 17

Panel one: Stewart crashes the car into the building bursting through, startling Videl as she opens her eyes and stops. The air balloon erupts from the stirring wheel as Stewart arms and hat are jarred into the air. In the air Jess has freed her left hand while Kelly continues to work on her first shackle. Kelly happily looks at Stewart.


Videl: Hu-whuh!?

Jess thinking: --Stay the course: barely tolerate his existence!

Kelly: It’s Stewart!

Panel two: Videl takes several steps out of the girls’ shadows as she looks fiercely at Stewart. Stewart flops out of the wrecked car on his stomach as he still points a finger towards Videl.


Stewart: I’m a Stewart and I was trying to run you over with this car…


Stewart: …but walls are a lot harder than I thought.

Panel three: Stewart has his fists raised as he prepares to battle Videl in hand to hand combat throwing punches at the air. And  the punches have the most weakest, barely visible sound effect ever adorning them.

Videl: You are an idiot.

Stewart: Maybe, but you’re old. Like Michael Douglas old. Bet you couldn’t conjure bad breath right now. Me? I’m in my prime. And I’ve been hit enough to know how punching works.

SFX wf wf

Panel four: Stewart is charging at Videl as Videl glares at him. Stewart has his balled up fists raised over his head and circling around his head.

Panel five: Videl casually slaps the taste out of Stewart’s mouth, knocking his jaw the opposite of his head as Stewart is knocked out.


Panel six: Videl turns her head to see Jess and Kelly almost free with Jess breaking the last restrain (her left ankle) while Kelly is desperately working on her last ankle shackle. Videl’s face twists in anger as she sees her goal slipping away.

Jess: Kelly, hurry!

Kelly: I’m trying, Jess, I’m trying--!

Videl: No! Not when I’m so close!

Page 18

Panel one: A close up on Videl’s getting back into the two vampires shadow only with Jess’s shadow almost gone as she begins to drop to the ground.

Panel two: A close up on Videl’s nastily dried up lips as she mouths the final word.

Videl: Youth!

Panel three: A close up on Jess’s boots hitting the ground.

Panel four: A bright red light engulfs Videl.

Panel five: During the red light, Kelly’s boots land on the ground followed by the brooms and shackles.

Panel six: Just outside as Pagan looks up from inside the bag of catnip as the red light is shining out the window like a beacon.

Videl inside: YES!

Pagan: Mrrw?

Page 19

Panel one: From the point of view of Videl as he looks at her right hand to see it’s returned to her youth.

Videl: Once again, I am my gorgeous, beautiful self…

Panel two: Same as the other shot only now Videl is holding out her left hand to see that it is old and withered like it was before.

Videl: What? My voice…why does it sound….

Videl:  No…no—

Panel three: A shot of Videl as the right side of her is restored to her youth at the beginning of the story and her left is left as the old crone. Jess and Kelly look on as they are prepared to fight. Behind Videl, Stewart is coming to as he has several stars over his head.

Videl: You—you---you--!


Stewart: Wh…? …yah don’t look half bad ta me...

Panel four: Videl is punched on her young face by Jess.

Jess: Sounds to me like you’re a glass half empty type of a person!


Page  20

Panel one: Videl is on the ground holding her face as Jess reasons with an upset Kelly as Stewart wobbles over towards the girls. Through the hole Stewart created Pagan is sprinting towards the injured Videl.

Kelly: Jess! She’s an old lady!

Jess: No. She’s middle age. And I punched the young side.

Kelly: …Works for me.

Stewart: Hey, girls, just came to. Rescue’s going well, huh?

Panel two: Kelly, Jess and Stewart look to see red smoke forming around Videl as she cradles a more demonic looking Pagan. Videl’s eyes are glowing red: her right eye much brighter than her left.

Videl: You fools will pay for making me a monstrosity! A freak!

Videl: I swear, I will return and when I do—

Panel three: High angle shot. Videl and Pagan disappear as the smoke disperses as our heroes look on.

Word balloon over the smoke: --I will tear your souls asunder!

Panel four: Kelly, Jess, and Stewart look on with blank expressions.

Kelly: Y’know, I just thought of something--

Panel five: The three character just talk casual as if they’re lives hadn’t been threatened.

Kelly: I don’t think she ever told us her name.

Stewart: Don’t look at me. You two hung out with her longer than I did.

Jess: Her cat’s name is Pagan.

Page 21

Panel one: Inside Trevor’s room. Trevor (in his regular clothing) is sitting on his bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands as he looks sadly across his bed at the number one issue of Captain Courageous. Lying on the ground is the remains of his Captain Courageous costume. In the background to the right of the panel is the door as someone is knocking on it.

Trevor: I’m sorry Capt’n C. Sure I work out, floss, and have thighs that can crack oaks, but I disgraced everything you believed in.

SFX: Knock knock

Panel two: Over the shoulder of Jess as Trevor opens the door. He is surprised to see her. Jess is in regular clothing, a shirt and jeans.

Trevor: Hotbody!

Panel three: Still over the shoulder of Jess as Trevor looks sorrowful at her.

Trevor: Babe…Jess, I know you hate every shredded muscle of my bod, and  I understand and I need to tell you something—

Panel four: Jess points at Trevor as she is stern with him. Trevor is taken by surprise.

Jess: We’re seeing a late night movie. It’s a rom-com. You buy the snacks. And no phones during the movie. I hate that. Everyone with common decency hates that.

Panel five: Jess smiles slightly as she rolls her eyes as Trevor is all smiles.

Trevor: Is this a date?

Jess: Yes. But it’s not a calendar. Understand? Just a one time thing.

Trevor: So it’s like Christmas and you’re my present!

Jess:  Oy.

Page 22

Panel one: Inside of the RHO RHO RHO Sorority house as Vera, Stewart, and Kelly are in the living quarter as each is sitting on chair or sofa as they are each reading different comics. Vera has a Surfer Dude and Rat Man comic as she looks disdainfully at the pages. Stewart is reading a graphic novel Pasture which has a Jesse Custer farmer on it. Kelly is reading a graphic novel titled The Never Ending Tale….Limited Series Event.  Stewart is smiling as he feels proud of himself as Kelly congratulates him.

Vera: “Sharks.” “Mouse traps.” I’ll tell you what their real weakness is: too much woman to handle.

Kelly: Thanks for the save, Stewart. And I’m sorry you didn’t get to become rich after selling off your dream.

Stewart: Don’t worry about it. I actually got to be a hero. And nothing will ever take this feeling from me.

Stewart: ‘Sides. Who needs money when you have friends and comics?

Stewart’s phone in his pocket: Awesome lips, amazing abs!...Ladies sit on daddy’s lap!...

Panel two: Stewart is groaning as he looks at his phone and pressing a button on his phone.

Stewart: Oh great. It’s “Aaron”.

Stewart: Thanking me for selling him my amazing creation and has some stupid link to click on--

Panel three Stewart is wide eyed.

Stewart: !!!

Panel four: Stewart slinks in his chair passed out as Vera and Kelly rush to him. Vera is rushing towards Stewart while Kelly looks down on the ground at Stewart’s phone.

Vera: Baby! What happened? Did you inhale and exhale too hard again?!

Panel five: Kelly is in the foreground as she holds up the phone so the readers can see that the phone has an image reading: DRACULA WOMAN AND FANG GIRL NEWEST KNITFLICK SERIES. In the background Vera is violently shaking the fainted Stewart as his arms and legs move around like a ragdoll.

Kelly: Wow. Stewart had a great idea after all--

Kelly: --But a real great idea is to tune in to the next issue of Super Suckers.


Fan Fiction / Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 15, 2018, 12:09:47 AM »
Intro Page

Inside of a dilapidated broom store. With broken shelves and various broomsticks in various states of condition lying around. Jess and Kelly are on the ground unconscious as Videl as seen in the last issue is standing over them with Pagan on her shoulder. Looking through a window is Stewart and Bumpy the Vampire as both have worried expressions. The roof has an opening with a giant cloud over the full moon.

Caption: Jess and Kelly. Are two favorite vampires. Coaxed into booth girls, the two were captured by an evil witch.

Caption: Videl. Previously mentioned evil witch who wants to use the two vampires to restore her youth for another fifty years.

Caption: The full moon. It’s there. I swear.

Caption: Pagan. Videl’s familiar and fur where no flea or tick dare tread.

Stewart. Comic geek, failed franchise achiever, and the only hope for our heroes!

Bumpy the Vampire. I know, I know, you’ve all done your part. But can you us locate this mischievous relic of the golden age past just one more time?

Page 1: Black and White save for mentioned items and their colors.

Panel one: An overhead shot broom store in a very isolated area. With only a few warehouses seen in the distance. The neighborhood is on the decline. The broom store is named Mr. Sweeps Magic Sticks. Over head is a brook wearing an afro waving hello. It should look fairly kept up. The roof has a giant hole cut into it as the full moon is up over head.

Caption: Summer 1968

Videl inside of the shop: You might not believe this, but once this area was all forest. All trees miles either way you looked. Save for a cabin.

Videl Inside of the shop: Right on this spot.

Panel two: Inside of the Mr. Sweeps, we can see two male vampires chained up so their shadows are spreading just at the feet of a cloak wearing. The two vampires look like and Rowan and Martin from the TV show Laugh-in. Their shirts are a mock turtle neck and contrasts panels cardigan. Videl looks to be in her forties and has her hair longer over her shoulders and wearing a hippy headband. Pagan is batting around a Chatty Cathy doll as in the distance as he’s more interested in playing.

Videl: I suppose I grew nostalgic after all these years.

Videl: Not the only reason. Great location. Isolated, but within proximity of new prey.

Videl:  I use brooms quite often given my life choice.

Panel three: Videl looks up at the scared out of their wits vampires as she steps into their shadows with her hand extended both growing red with magic.

Videl: But mostly—

Videl: --Thinking back on all these treasured moments, is the only thing that seems to warm my withered, black heart in the slightest.

Martin looking vampire: Lady, we didn’t do anything to you. After you get what you want, you’ll let us go, right?

Panel four: A close up on Videl’s face as she closes her eyes and has a wicked grin from ear to ear. All around her is red energy that illuminates her out of black and white.

Videl: Heh. That’s what the owner said before I turned him into a mouse and fed him to my cat.

Videl: Yes, I believe I will close my eyes and reflect warmly on this night often in the years to come.

Page 2

Panel one: A close up on Jess maskless’s face as she finally begins to wake from unconsciousness. In the background leading to her head is the nightmare she was having. The nightmare is in red and black drawn very cartoonishly with a repeated different images on several takes about what happened to her at the convention: Several warped pictures of Videl Lilit laughing, various images of Pagan as a cat and as a panther laughing, a few images of Trevor crying, an image of Stuart with a derpy looking face, and images of a broom sweeping to show how she got knocked out.

Kelly off panel: Jess--!

Kelly off-panel: Jess—

Kelly off-panel: WAKE UP!!!

Jess: Eh?

Panel two: We now see the situation Jess and Kelly (also maskless) are in. They are being held captive in place by two flying broomsticks each with shackles on their wrists (upper brooms) and ankles (lower broom) They are currently two feet off the ground. They are in an old broom store (Mr. Sweeps) with the roof of the building having the same hole exposing the night sky as a cloudy night is covering up the full moon as it beams light on them. In front of them is smoking cauldron filled with green boiling slime and various things (eyes, unicorn horn, and whatever else you can think of) Around the room is bits of broken old brooms and straw along with two piles of vampire bones (The two late sixty vampires). Jess is straining as she tries to break free as Kelly turns her head to talk to her. In front of them, Pagan is looking at them as he walks back and forth, almost like a guard dog.

Kelly: Are you okay?

Jess:  I’m dressed like this, got kidnapped by a witch and woke up chained up in a room that would make Michael Myers crap his pants with an ominous cauldron bubbling right in front of me.

Jess: Let’s just say I could be better.

Page 3

Panel one: Jess is trying to break free again as she strains all her muscles and tightens here face. The chain shackles have enough slack to where the shackles can get right to her face cheeks but do not break. Kelly is talking with Jess casually.

Kelly: It’s even worse than that…

Jess: uhhhhhrr. How so?

Panel two: Jess is wide eyed as she stops as Kelly tells Jess what she sees as a problem.

Kelly: Look at us! We’re unmasked! She knows our secret identities!

Panel three: Jess turns to Kelly and glares at her as Kelly face sinks in as she realizes how stupid what she said was.

Panel four: Jess frowns and curls her lips as she lets her body go limp as Kelly smiles and tries to apologize.

Kelly:Oh. Sorry. I’m just really into the whole superhero thing.

Panel five: A lower angled view of a cloaked figure wearing purple and black as she gingerly walks towards them, using a broom as support. Pagan gives up his vigilance and happily heads towards the figure.

Videl off-panel: Oh. You’re both awake. I hope you’re both comfortable, but not too comfortable.

Page 4

Panel one: A shot between the bodies of Kelly and Jess as they look on at the robed Videl. Only Videl’s hooded, concealed head can be seen at the right of the panel. Videl begins to pull down her hood as we can see her hands are old and mostly just skin and bone.

Kelly: Look, lady, we don’t know who you are but—

Panel two: A close up on Videl’s face as she now looks eighty year old with her nose crooked with a wart on it, he skin wrinkly, and her golden hair has turned into a tangled grey haired mess. She is also hunched over and has lost several inches of height. She looks almost unrecognizable from the at least human like looking Videl from the last issue. Pagan is beginning to jump up to return back to Videl’s shoulder.

Panel three: Kelly and Jess are confused as they can hardly recognize Videl from the last issue to how she appears now.

Kelly: …Wow. I really don’t know who you are.

Jess: That or we were both knocked out longer than I thought.

Panel four: Videl angrily looks at her hands to see how old she has gotten.

Videl: Yes, I am a sight aren’t I? Just looking at these withered hands fills me with utter rage--

Panel five: She points her finger at the two vampires as Jess glares back and Kelly looks on confused.

Videl: --But luckily I have all I need to turn back the hands of time right in front of me.

Jess: Tick tock.

Page 5

Panel one: Videl is walking towards Kelly and Jess as Kelly talks to Videl as Jess tries to free herself. Videl pays Jess an amused smirk and begins to move the handle of the broom towards her face.

Kelly: Us?

Kelly: What are you talking about?

Videl: It’s very simple really

Panel two: Videl has the handle of the broom under Jess’s chin raising it as Jess becomes angry and bares her fangs out as she glares down at her.

Videl: I’ve lived for centuries, all thanks to vampires and a spell of my own discovery.

Videl: On the night of the first summer full moon, when the enchantment is spoken, the shadow of two vampires will eclipse upon me and restore me to my youth.

Jess: And what, your spell drains our youth? We end up looking like a potato left to rot?

Panel three: Videl walks away from the girls as Jess continues to glare at Videl. Kelly continues to talk. Videl is waving with her hand as it glows a dim red to show how weak her magic is getting. Pagan turns and sticks his tongue out at the girls.

Videl: No. The rejuvenation process is painless as a gentle summer breeze.

Kelly: Wait, why kidnap us? I mean, why not approach us and go, “hey, I won’t cause you problems if you just stand still and let me say something”.

Videl: Because I enjoy the suffering of others--

Page 6

Panel one: Videl motions with her hand as it barely sparks any red magic. Out of the darkness a doctor’s tray wobbles towards Videl. The tray is filled with various size scalpels, a machete, scissors, and dull hedge clippers.

Videl: --And you do have value in other ways to me.

Videl: You wouldn’t believe how much vampire fangs, skin, and spleens go for in the goblin market.

Panel two: A close up on Videl’s face as her eyes flash wickedly. On her shoulder, Pagan licks his lips and claws at the air to symbolize what is going to happen to the two vampires.

Videl: And whatever remains…


Videl: I spoil him ever so.

Panel three: Videl walks away as Kelly and Jess lean over to talk to one another as Videl focuses on the cauldron.

Videl: But before we get to that, this inauspicious weather must be dealt with.

Kelly: I really don’t like her.

Jess: Yeah, she’s not on my Christmas card list either.

Panel four: Jess is trying to bite through her right chain while Kelly looks up at the hole in the roof to see the clouds blocking the full moon. In the background, Videl is stirring her cauldron brew as it begins to bubble and boil over and a small dragon claw and a leprechaun hat poke to the top of the brew. Pagan is begging for food while Videl tries to move him away from the cauldron

Kelly: She making an anti-cloud spell?

Jess: What I’m thinking.

SFX: krrang

Jess: Ow! Stupid chain! Nearly chipped a fang!

Panel five: Kelly turns to Jess full of hope as Jess hangs her head down in utter defeat.

Kelly: Hey, Stewart’s still out there. He’ll save us.

Jess: (sigh) You really believe that?

Kelly: I believe Kim Kardashian is a celebrity. There’s nothing I won’t believe in.

Page  7

Panel one: Splash page of Stuart running out of the Convention Hall as he nearly knocks over someone dressed like the Blue Baron and some fat guy dressed as Bumble Bee Man. Stuart is in a state of panic as he tilts his head back and screams out into the night. In his left hand is one of his comics of Vampire Woman as it flaps open. Somewhere hiding is Bumpy The Vampire.

Stuart: Jess and Kelly are dead or going to die!!!

Page 8

Panel one: Stuart is sobbing as some random guy dressed as a purple kaiju approaches Stewart to congratulate him.

Stewart: My own hubris has gotten my two friends killed!

Purple kaiju: Great show. Don’t know how you did it.

Stewart: With horrible hubris!

Purple kaiju: You’re Scottish?

Panel two: Stewart looks over to see a depressed Trevor walking along wearing with his shield dragging on the ground as he is slumped over and on the verge of tears.

Stuart: Trevor! What are you doing here?!

Trevor: I thought I was going to get Sal Solomon’s autograph—

Panel three: Trevor begins to rise up and stick out his chest as he cries large tears. Stewart grasps at his chest as he tries to get him to focus as he is a mix of relieved and overjoyed that he might have help.

Trevor: --Instead I betrayed my buff babe and the boss I have sex with for some booth girl floozy! Even my swoll bod is not worthy of the symbol of awesomeness I wear!

Stuart: Who cares?! I need a hero right now!!

Panel four: Trevor sniffles his left nostril as snot runs down it and a disgusted Stewart lets go of him and takes a step back.


Panel five: Trevor drops his shield and shirt on the ground, ala the famous scene of Peter Parker quitting being Spider-Man.

Trevor: I ain’t no hero.

Trevor: I’m a toe jam bathed in dog poop, dried with hairy arm pits that just got drafted by the Cleveland Browns.

Panel six: In the foreground Stewart is yelling back at Trevor as Trevor continues to walk along with his head hold down. Across the pavement various homages of superheroes let him pass as they all lower their heads as if mourning.

Stewart: That’s still better than what I am!!

Page 9

Panel one: Vera is leaving the convention center with the Surfer Dude and Rat Man cosplayers on each arm as she struts her stuff and takes in the attention she is getting.

Surfer Dude: Babe-a-rama, anything we can do for you?

Vera: Rizzo can do that voice again. And you…just show off those muscles and let me play some beach blanket bingo!

Stewart: Well, now I feel worse…

Panel two: Stewart is running up to Vera as Vera is kissing Surfer Dude’s abs and leaving kiss imprints diagonally. Rat Man is looking ridiculous as he strikes the Batman pose with his cape.

Vera: Mhhhmm. Ab 2.

Stewart: Vera! Vera!

Guy dressed as Rat Man: Doorrrr yourrrr knowrrrr himrrrr?

Panel three: Vera suddenly twists her body and hugs Stewart catching him by surprise and not able to get a word in. She is squeezing him so hard he looks like a tube of tooth paste with his head turning red and his cheeks turning purple to show the air being knocked out of him.

Vera: Lamb’s Lettuce! I was just thinking of you, boo. You know how we’re okay with seeing other people as long as we come back to one another?

Vera: Well, I’m going to see a lot of these two and I’ll come back to your precious adorable self and tell you all about it!

Panel four: Stewart is on his hands and knees grasping for breath as Vera is being walked away by the two hot guys dressed as Rat Guy and Duper Dude.

Vera: That’s Stewart. I told you about him. He’s great. Love him to death. Now why don’t we go somewhere and let’s put that underwear outside in. With my teeth.

Page 10

Panel one: Stewart is sitting on the sidewalk as he dusts his hat off.

Stewart: Who am I kidding? What’s the point of getting help when I don’t even know where to go?

Panel two: Stewart looks up in the sky to see a streak of red smoke heading towards the cloudy sky. The red smoke seems to be coming from the lower end of Dung Hill.

Stewart: Well, thank you switching to LCD bulbs, Commissioner Gordon.

Panel three: Stewart suddenly burst to his feet as he walks off determined with his index finger sticking out like he’s lecturing fate to back off.

Stewart: So it’s up to me to battle a witch. Fine! Stewart Noss can beat up a woman!

Stewart: Nothing will stop me!!

Panel four: In the parking lot, Stewart has both hands on Jess’s car door as he tries to open the locked door. Stewart is straining with all his might and is on his heels as he is being dragged towards the car to show how badly he’s doing. On the ground near the front wheel is Stewart’s Dracula Woman comic.

Stewart: Why would anyone lock their doors in this perfectly safe community!!?

Panel five: Stewart is nearly on his knees as he still holds onto the handle as all his strength has faded.

Stewart: Might need a new strategy.

Page 11

Panel one: Stewart is weakly elbowing the window of the driver side as Aaron Rodriguez is about to go into his car and looks over at Stewart.

Aaron: Hey, man. Great floor show and that comic is going to take off!

SFX: whum whum whum

Aaron: Are you trying to steal a car?

Stewart: No. It’s my friend’s car. You can’t steal from a friend, you can only borrow.

Panel two: A close up on Stewart’s face he is annoyed by Aaron as Aaron gets into his car.

Aaron: Maybe you should take the bus?

Stewart: I sunk all my money in my comic and buffing out my hat! Look, just make like a bee and buzz off.

Aaron: Don’t you mean, “like a tree and buzz off?”

Stewart: My version makes more sense!

Stewart whispering: Some people--

Panel three: Stewart’s eyes light up as he has a thought balloon of Aaron’s car (labeled “some jerk’s car” with a + sign with a muscular image of Stewart kissing his oversized muscles with the equation ending with Muscular Stewart in the car only now it has jet propulsions and looks similar to the batmobile. The car is now labeled “HERO’S CAR!”

Panel four: Stewart is rolling over the hood of Jess’s car in the most uncool way possible as he waves his comic around. Aaron looks on in confusion and tilts his head as he unbuckles his seat belt as he just goes along.

Stewart: Hey! Wait! I’ve got a deal for you that will change your life!!

Page 12

Panel one: Stewart opens the door to Aaron’s car as he shows his comic with his name sign on it with a sentence reading, “I Stewart give all license to my creative property.

Stewart: Look, tonight was great, but I realized that I’m just not into this whole comic thing. I’d rather be in your car!

Panel two: Stewart begins to yank Aaron out of the car.

Stewart: Yeah, so how about we make a deal…

Stewart: …yeah leave the keys in the ignition…

Stewart: …I’ll give you the rights to all of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl for the low, low price of your car and everything in it— is that soda in the cup holder diet?

Aaron: Regular.

Stewart: Sweet.

Panel three: Stewart is driving away holding out his hand out the window to form an “L” for loser as he streaks away. Aaron still hopelessly nice waves goodbye to Stewart.

Aaron: Wow. He gave up his creative property and “L for luck!”

Panel four: Aaron looks at the Dracula Woman Comics as he wonders what to do.

Aaron: If only it was that simple …

Panel five: Aaron turns around to see a man in a business suit walking towards him with a contract. Aaron is all smiles.

KnitFlicks producer: Excuse me, young man.

KnitFlicks producer: I’m a producer for KnitFlicks and we’re looking for new creative properties. You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find the creator of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl, would you?

Caption: We will return after these brief messages.

Dracula Woman and Fang Girl.

Page one

Panel one: A cinematic shot of Planet Vlad being blown up by a high tech werewolf head war craft.

Caption: Ville Villains.

Caption: A World Lost.

Panel two: Werwolves wearing space suits have chased a couple into an alley way.

Caption: A New Breeding Ground.

Panel three: The couple is backed against the wall as the space werewolves bare their fangs

Caption: Helpless prey.

Panel four: Suddenly two female shadows fall over the space werewolves causing them to turn their heads.

Panel five: A shot of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl as they strike a pose. The look different from the comic as they are dressed more modern and Fang Girl is now Hispanic with yellow highlights.

Dracula Woman: Don’t you boys know there are leash laws in this city?

Fang Girl: Ignorance of the law is no excuse on our world and this one!


Panel one: The space werewolves lunge at Dracula Woman and Fang Girl.

Caption: Two Lone Survivors.

Panel two: Fang Girl jump kicks one space werewolf, breaking his jaw and several fangs. Dracula Woman casually tosses the other space werewolf over her shoulders and out of the alley.

Caption: A New Home.


Caption: The Same Mission.

Panel three: The space werewolf begins to back away until his back is against a fire hydrant. Dracula Woman is beginning to come out of the alley. Only her lower body is seen in light. The rest of her is in the shadows of the alley as her eyes glow yellow and her extended fangs give off a glare in the moon light.

Caption: Intergalactic Supernatural Evil has come to our planet.

Panel four: A close up on the space werewolf’s eye as we can see the reflection of Dracula Woman’s approaching fist in it’s frighten eye.

Caption: But so has Fanged Justice.

Panel five: Dracula Woman and Fang Girl are standing over the space werewolf’s unconscious body as they strike a pose as the wind blows their hair and cape

Caption: Dracula Woman and Fang Girl. Based off the indie comic created by Aaron Rodriguez.

Caption: Coming to KnitFlicks this fall. Binge the Bloodbath!

Fan Fiction / Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 14, 2018, 12:28:55 AM »
Page  17

Panel one: Over the head shot of our main characters as Videl is standing before them with her eyes and hands glowing red. Pagan is hissing at the trio as his hairs stand up on end. Videl looks like she’s aged another decade with more wrinkles and a wart beginning to form on her now pointy nose. Videl is pointing her broom stick at the three.

Videl: With me.

Videl: You two. The poorly underdressed vampires.

Videl: And be warned, while I need you in one piece--how mangled and broken your limbs are is not an issue.

Panel two: Stewart has a petrified look on his face as Jess whispers towards him. Kelly steps forward and has her hands at her hip and her chin sticking up in the air as she strikes a superhero pose.

Jess whispering: Did you set this up?

Stewart: No. If I did, I’d lean more towards Anne Hathaway than Betty White.

Kelly: Vile villain, we, the leatherwing avengers, will not go anywhere with the likes of you!

Panel three: Videl begins to summon creepy looking spiked and wart covered frogs and toads from her broom as they leap forward at the girls. Jess turns to Kelly and yells are her in a “what the hell” type manner as Kelly is wide eyed. Stewart is leaping back to avoid the conflict.

Videl: Twisted spines and broken femurs it is.


Jess: Kelly!! What the hell--!??

Kelly: I swear, I thought she was just some gangly dude in make-up! Not a real witch lady!

Stewart: eeeeeeekkkkkkk!!!

Panel four: Stewart is cowering on the ground as he crawls towards the feet of people watching on. In the background the girls are dodging the tongues and leaps of the frogs and toads as they look ridiculous in doing so.

Stewart thinking: Vampires, ghosts, crazy nurses—now a witch! My life is hell and hell is an episode of Scooby Doo!

Person off panel: Wow. This is a great skit. They really look like they’re fighting for their lives.

Person two off-panel: How are they doing the special effects?

Panel five: Stewart gives the reader an aside glance. Several people are gathering around the fight and using their phones to record what is happening. Kelly is swatting a frog off of Jess’ head in the background

Stewart thinking: I might just have something here…

Page 18

Panel one: Kelly tilts her head back to avoid the tongue of one of he blue and orange toads while hopscotching over two others as they spit acid.

Kelly: Man, I don’t like frogs and toads.

Sfx slzz flzz

Kelly: Okay, now I just hate them.

Panel two: Jess high kicks one frog as it disappears into a cloud of smoke. Behind her several geeks have their phones out recording the fight. One cosplayer  is wearing an ugly octopus kaiju costume.

Jess: If you hate them, stop dodging and let them have it! They disappear when you wallop them!

Panel three: Jess turns around and gives the Octopus guy a look of disgusted as looks at his costume, specifically the tentacles.

Panel four: Jess walks away as the octopus kaiju hangs his head down in shame.

Jess: I am going to go fight for my life away from you.

Panel five: Kelly is happily stomping on a fleeing toad as it disappears into smoke. Videl looks on as she motions with a wave of her hand for Pagan to attack.

Kelly: Hah! Kiss the boot, Kermit!

Videl: Get her, my familiar.

Page 19

Panel one: Pagan is skipping towards Kelly as Kelly looks on like it similar to a little girl being greeted by her pet after returning home from school. Videl is pointing Pagan onward for him to attack, even though he looks more adorable that vicious.

Kelly: Awwww

Kelly: Dat cute liddle thing can come get me.

Panel two: Behind the head of Kelly as Pagan is in the air leaping towards her. In the background Videl’s hands begin to glow red showing she’s casting a magic spell.

Kelly: He’s so adorable with his little paws out like that.

Panel three: Same view as the previous panel with a few differences: Pagan is turned into a black panther as the same red glow from Videl’s hands is now around Pagan. Kelly has her hands out in alarm as she braces for impact.

Kelly: Nevermind! Not adorable! Especially those pointy paws!

Panel four: Jess is turning her head as she punches away at the last magic toads and sees Kelly getting pounced on by Panther Pagan as she hits the back of her head on the ground.


Kelly: Ahhh!

Jess: Cripes!!

Panel five: Panther Pagan is standing over the unconscious Kelly with his right paw out ready to strike. Over Pagan’s head is a thought balloon of a T-bone steak with little fangs and wearing a mini vampire cape.

Page 20

Panel one: Jess is dropkicking Panther Pagan away from Kelly. As she does this the thought balloon pops and disperses. While she’s kicking her she has her arms folded in the “Wakanda Forever” from the Black Panther movie.

Jess: Don’t even think about it, Sylvester!


Panel two: In the crowd Stewart is looking on with giant dollar signs for eyes as he looks on at what is happening. Jess is standing in front of the unconscious Kelly and glaring straight ahead at Videl. Pagan is reverting back to his cat form as he lands at the feet of Videl with a lump on his forehead and a tiny red pain star coming from it. Videl is checking on Pagan.

Stewart: This is great: Forget KnitFlicks! I’ve already got a cinematic universe movie playing out!! I’m going to be a ITube sensation!

Videl: Pagan! Sweetie baby, did that nasty girl hurt you…?

Pagan Meow—Meow??!

Caption translation: Look at the lump on my head—what do you think??!

Panel three: Videl is pointing her finger at Jess as Jess is in a running towards Videl.

Jess: Okay, I don’t know who you are or why you attacked us, but you picked the fight, and I’ll be the one ending it!

Panel four: Videl fires a magical beam from her finger as Jess tries to stop in mid run but her momentum carries her forward. She holds her arms over her head to try and shield herself as the weak, wobbly beam connects.

Videl: Sorry. But I don’t do anything halfway.

SFX: splll

Jess: Crud!

Panel five: Both Videl and Jess are surprised that the beam has no affect on Jess as Jess is just a few inches from Videl.

Jess: and Videl: ???

Panel six: Jess uppercuts Videl and sends her flying as several geeks dash out of the way. Videl’s broomstick begins to come lose from her grip as she is sent sailing.

Jess: All hocus and no pocus, huh??


Page 21

Panel one: Videl is on her side and hiding her right hand as she is tries to summon enough energy for an attack as tries to channel it into her broomstick with just her index finger on it.

Videl thinking: Blast it…! My powers are already growing weaker by the second. Must channel my energy--

Jess: Yeah, I see what you’re doing. Don’t bother, Sabrina. Because if you think I’m letting you have another chance to attack you’ve got--

Panel two: Stewart rushes in front of Jess with his phone out stuck right at her face.

Jess: --another thing coming…?

Stewart: Calling her “Sabrina”…?! Everyone is doing that! Instead say, “time to turn the witch switch off—for good!” Emphasis on “FOR GOOD”!

Panel three: Jess is grabbing Stewart by his shoulders and pushing him off to her left.

Jess: Would you forget your stupid comic garbage?! She’s dangerous or did you not notice the blunt force trauma on Kelly’s noggin?!!

Panel four: A close up on a wide eyed Jess as the shadow of a swinging broom is over her.

Videl off-panel: Speaking of blunt force head trauma.

Jess: Uh-oh.

Panel five: Videl swings her broom at Jess and sends her flying at the reader. Stars and exploding rockets surround Jess to show how hard she was hit. Stewart looks on with a worried look on his face. All the cosplayer and people gathered around are leaping up and joy as they enjoy the action.


Page 22

Panel one: Videl looking even older with her hair being much more out of place uses her magic to push Stewart back into the crowd of nerds. With her other hand she is using the broom like a cane.

Stewart: Hey, you can’t do that to---

Videl: Shush.

Stewart: Yipe!

Panel two: Videl is standing over the unconscious Jess and Kelly as she uses her broom to lift up Jess’s chin to make sure she’s no longer a threat.

Videl: Well, that certainly took the bite out of you.

Panel three: Pagan jumps on Stewart’s head and pushes his hat over his eyes as he leaps towards Videl.

Videl off-panel: Come, Pagan, come—

Panel four: Pagan has leapt on Videl’s shoulder as a cloud of smoke emits from her cloak and begins to cover her and the two unconscious vampires. Stewart is running towards Videl frantically as he pulls his stuck hat back into place.

Videl: --We have what we came for.

Panel five Stewart goes through the smoke cloud as the witch and the girls have vanished.


Stewart: ??

Panel six: A bewildered and lost Stewart looks on as several geeks and co-players come to congratulate him on what they believed to be a staged fight.

Cos player: That was great! It was as real as fictional gets!

Nerd: You should be proud!

Stewart: This could not end any more poorly.

Panel seven: The fat nerd from earlier who criticized how Jess and Kelly looked when they first came into the Dung Hill Comic Con is talking to Stewart as Stewart yells at him. The nerd has an issue of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl as he has it open and pointing in it.

Fat nerd: Excuse me, but Dracula Woman and Fang Girl fight space werewolves. Not witches. Worse skit ever.

Stewart: Oh shut up!!!


Fan Fiction / Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 13, 2018, 12:19:39 AM »
Rhino Insurance.

Panel one: A redneck is sitting on his porch as he watches a rhinos aurous rampaging and knocking over his prized lawnmower. On the man’s bare chest is a bandage to show he got gored.

Caption: You think you’re safe. That it’ll never happen to you. Then a rhinoceros
suddenly appears in your front yard and turns you life inside out!

Redneck: Dat hippo dun-did run me through and tipped over Dale Jr!!!

Panel two: The redneck looks at the caption box

Caption: What you need is rhino insurance!

Redneck: Yee-Haw! Sign me up invisible voice man!

Panel three: A muscular man dressed in safari gear is suddenly running past the redneck who looks on angrily and is reaching for his nearby shotgun.

Outback Dan: Oy! That lolly is on a rampage. I’ll be done in two shakes of a koala!

Redneck: Foreigner!

Redneck: Don’t take my job!

Redneck: Build the wall!

Caption: No! That’s Outback Dan, you’re rhino insurance!

Panel four: The redneck does a victory jig as Outback Dan is posing over the dead rhino.

Redneck: Slap my ma and call ‘er my sister Mary Lou, the mother of my childrens!

Caption: Just ten dollars every month keeps you safe. Another ten and we’ll dispose of the carcass.

Panel five: The Redneck and Outback Dan are eating roast rhino meat as they toast glasses in a cheer with moonshine in small jelly cups. In the background is a giant deepfryer with the horn of the rhino sticking out over the top.

Redneck: Hee-hee. I can take care of that just fine!

Outback Dan: Smacks you in the mouth like a rowdy boomerang, mate.

Caption: Rhino Insurance! Protection against horned, thick skin devils…

Caption: And you might even make a friend!

The Bully Institute

Panel one: The setting is a middle school where a kid has been dumped into a trash bin as a much bigger kid stomps away as he pushes a teacher out of his way.

Caption: Have you ever been beat up, lunch money taken, and shoved into the trash and went—

Kid in trash: Wow! I wish I could do that to other people.

Caption: Well now you can!!

Panel two: A shot of Bully Institute (looking like a prestige college like Harvard) with golden gates with a BI emblem in the center. Outside is a male bully who is pointing at the reader with one hand and shaking his fist with the other. . Looking on is a scared nerd holding out several dollar bills.

Caption: The Bully Institute! Where you can fine hone the craft to dominate the weak. Don’t take my word for it. Here is Dean Frank Fist.

Frank Fist: Nerds think they’re smart. Well, I’m the one who not only beat them up, but I make more money off of how to do it.

Panel three: Inside of a classroom, Frank Fist is yelling at a kid wearing a bandana, vest, and a tattoo with a heart with the word “hate” in it. The kid yells back.

Frank Fist: Establish dominance, you little nancy! If you let one geek off with “this isn’t lunch money, its medicine for my sick sister” they’ll all do it!!

Bully kid: I’ll kick your ass old man!

Frank Fist: That’s better!!!

Panel four: The bully kid is at his phone sending a text as Frank Fist gives him a thumbs up while having the nerd kid from the previous panel in a headlock. The nerd kid’s eyes are popping out of his head and his face is turning red.

Frank Fist: Yes! Insult his gender! And his father’s too! And attach a virus!

Frank Fist: Stomp the throat! Stomp the throat!!

Panel five: Frank Fist is in front of the school as the bully kid is giving the nerd a wedgie. Frank Fist is tripping a random person walking by as he talks to the reader.

Frank Fist: I’m Frank Fist. You think you’re a bully? You’re a punk! I’ll make you the kind of person that will become president!

Frank Fist: I’ll take that self loathing you have inside and help you stick to the world!

Caption: Please bring birth certificate, juvenile records, and list of all misdemeanors when applying.

Page 12 + 13 Double page of Kelly just having fun

Panel one: Kelly is sitting on a table reading a graphic novel titled Awesomes as several nerds watch her with hearts in their eyes. Kelly is enjoying what she reads.

Kelly: Wow! I’m really enjoying what I’m looking at!

Nerds: Us too!!

Panel two: Kelly is sitting in a room where a movie clip is being shown where Captain Courageous is punching a Thanos looking villain, knocking out several of his teeth.

Kelly: Yeah! Make him pay for making all left shoes vanish!

Kelly: WHOOOOOO!!!

Panel three: Kelly is listening in two as a Sheena cosplayer and a Red Sonya cosplayer arguing with each other. The Red Sonya cosplayers lifts up her right foot to show off her boot to make her point. Kelly is really captivated by the argument the two are having.

Violet Wilma: Girlfriend, you do know there is a dress code, right?

Tareena the Jungle Queen: I’m wearing just as much clothing as you are!

Violet Wilma: Erk! Wrong! I’m wearing boots!

Panel four: Kelly is at a booth playing a Halo like game with some kid dressed like Master Chef.

Kid: Check your 2 o’clock!

Kelly: Don’t worry. It’s not that late.

Kid: …Noob Civilians.

Panel five: Kelly is taking a photo with some fans as she has her fangs pressed at one person’s neck as she winks and smiles

Panel six: Kelly is trying to negotiate peace between two rival fan groups: The Trekkies and the Star War fans. The Trekkies have their lasers pointed while the Star Wars fans have their light saber with one geek trying vainly to use the force to attack a Trekkie who is failing with the Vulcan nerve pinch. Each section has a banner reading: Adams

Trekkie: He was ours before he was yours!

Star Wars fanboy: He loves directing our movies now!

Kelly: Boys! You come from the final frontier, and you come from a long, long time ago! The Space-Time Continuum only works in your favor!

Panel seven: Kelly is getting a picture drawn and signed by a comic book artist as she strikes a pose.

Panel eight: Kelly is at a booth with a familiar TV logo. She is happily reading a  99 cent 64 page comic as the comic creator looks on sadly.

Kelly: Wow! All this for less than a dollar?? How do you make a profit?

Hank Derwin: I don’t. Ever since mother stopped paying my rent, I live in a cardboard box in the alleyway.

Page 14

Panel one: Jess is trying to storm away from Trevor, but Trevor follows after her with puppy dog eyes.

Trevor: I love your clavicle bone.

Jess: Do you really want to die in that costume?

Trevor: So you want to see me out of this costume is what I’m hearin’.

Panel two: Jess turns around and yells at Trevor.

Jess: That does it!

Jess: Look, knuckledragger—I don’t want anything to do with you!!

Panel three: Jess shoves Trevor and knocks him into people dressed as the Superhero Union from the Blue Baron comic.

Jess: Because you don’t think about anyone besides yourself!

Panel four: Jess is standing over Trevor as the Superhero Union cosplayers run off as Jess storms towards Trevor.

Jess: Because you’ll say you’re someone’s friend or you love them and when you need them, you’ll screw them over. No you’ll screw someone else over and that person fires them!

Jess: And why because--!!

Panel five: Jess lowers her head as she has a realization about she’s not so innocent either.

Jess: …you were asked to do it. And I asked you to do when I was supposed to be on a date I promised you….

Page 15

Panel one: Jess looks on as Trevor sadly gets to his feet.

Trevor: You’re right, mysterious lady with a bodacious bod. I haven’t lived up to the Code of Courageous

Panel two: Trevor gets on his feet, tilts his head back, and points an index finger in the sky as a confused Jess tilts her head as she looks on.

Trevor: The Code of Courageous! To protect the innocent, drink your milk like a boss—and stay true to the woman you pledge your heart too.

Panel three: Trevor sadly walks away as Jess tries to stop him.

Trevor: I ain’t no hero. I’m just a guy with an extra ab, twenty inch pythons, and only his boss to knock his size 14 boots with!

Panel four: Trevor disappears into a crowd as Jess looks on sadly.

Jess: Wait!....I didn’t…it’s not your---!

Jess: …

Jess: Great! I have about as much self respect as I have clothing on…

Panel five: Jess is startled as Pagan runs in front of her.

Jess: !!

Panel six: A shot of Pagan’s eye as his yellow eyes reflect Jess walking off.

Jess off-panel: And now a black cat crossed my path!

Jess off-panel: Can this night get any worse??

 Page 16
Panel one: Stewart has his head on his booth in abject failure as Jess walks up to him.
Jess: …So everyone loves your comic and you’re going to get that live action adaptation?
Stewart: Yeah. I’m always this happy when I achieve my dreams and acquire vast wealth.
Jess: Well, if it makes you feel better, I just realized I’m a pretty rotten person and I really hate myself right now.
Panel two: Same shot only with Stewart suddenly perked up and Jess rolling her eyes.
Stewart: Heck yeah! Misery loves company!
Panel three: Jess is talking with Stewart as Stewart walks from his booth while shrugging his shoulders.
Jess: And three is company. So have you seen my sidekick?
Stewart: Neither hide nor hair nor fang
Panel four: Jess and Stewart are shocked when a happy Kelly prances in carrying two tradepacks.
Kelly: This has been one of the best days ever!  I met a lot of cool, interesting people and I had my picture taken with people and kids thought I was a real superhero!
Panel five: Kelly shows off her tradepacks of Rat Man The Cat Scratch Dance and Captain Courageous The Underwear Worn Inside of Pants Saga. Jess feigns a smile.
Kelly: Check it, Jess!
Kelly: This one is where Rat Man comes out of retirement to fight his archenemy the The Dastardly Cat in the far distant future of 2025!
Kelly: And this one Captain Courageous leaves planet Earth after The President makes it a law against spit curls and underwear on the outside of your pant!
Jess: That’s…um…great.
Panel six: Kelly wraps her arms around Jess and Stewart as she is smiling ear to ear. Stewart has a small smile on his face as he’s at least happy that Kelly likes comic books now and got into the spirit. Jess twists her lips to her right as she gives in.
Stewart: Well…at least something came out of all of this. Next we’ll work you up to manga.
Kelly: Great. I love Japanese soup!
Jess: And here we go again....
Panel seven: A small panel of Videl’s foot moving forward with Pagan at her heel.
Videl off-panel: Yes, you are going--

Fan Fiction / Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 12, 2018, 12:54:02 AM »
Intro page.

Inside of the comic con.

Jess and Kelly, dressed as Dracula Woman and Fang Girl, are fighting various frogs and toads sent out by a middle aged looking Videl as Pagan looks on. Looking on from his booth, and shielding his comics with his body is Stewart. Vera is on ipod listening to music and dancing, oblivious to what is going on around her. Bumpy the Vampire is doing the Pulp Fiction dance along side Vera.

Caption: Jess and Kelly: Our two lovely vampires turned superheroes as they must fight for their lives.

Caption: Videl: Wicked Witch. Looks different, huh? What could she want with our two leading ladies?

Caption: Pagan. Videl’s familiar and voted most evil cat two years in a row!

Caption: Stewart: Comic geek trying to live his dream and cash in.

Caption: Vera. Stewart’s girlfriend who pretty much is in a world of her own.

Caption: Bumpy the Vampire. Yep, you found him, viewers, but our security couldn’t catch this icon of the 30s. Can you help us out again?

Page 1 (Page is in all black and white flashback except for certain people or actions they take. All characters are silhouettes with only their eyes and mouths to show emotion with.)

Panel one: In a forest, the figure of a young woman (Videl) being given powers by Satan (All bright red with dark maroon for his eyes and mouth) surrounding her with dark purple magic.) As this is going on silhouettes of various forest creatures are running or flying away in terror. Only a black cat with yellow colored eyes and a chipped left ear (Pagan) looks on calmly. Videl has a wide smile ear to ear.

Caption: Centuries ago, I gave my soul to the devil himself for power and immortality.

Panel two: The silhouette of Videl is now gray with long white hair and hunched over and using a broom to support herself in the same forest to show she has aged like a normal person. The silhouette of Pagan looks on sympathetically.

Caption: But I was young, inexperienced, too eager. Gullible beyond belief….

Caption: …For while I had abandoned Mother Nature, Father Time still clung to me with the same death grip as all other living things.

Panel three: Videl in a cabin with a hole in it, as she has two vampires (all black save for their white eyes and white pointy fangs coming out of their mouths) floating over a hole in the cabin’s room where a blue moon is floating overhead. The vampires’ shadows turn red and stretch towards Videl as she is now back to the way she was the original panel.

Caption: After so many attempts, and even more victims, I found a solution.

Panel four: A shot of the youthful silhouette walking towards the reader with a glaring smile. In the background, are mansions in yellow, money in green, white skeletons with yellow wedding rings on them and red vampire bats with purple stakes in their chests

Caption: And so I have lived, rejuvenated through magic and the shadow of bats. And I have attained vast wealth through marriage and death.

Caption: And I plan on continuing my wicked, wicked ways. I just need to find two vampires.

Page 2

Panel one (Giant panel) A shot of Jess as Dracula Woman and Kelly as Fang Girl as they are in front of a booth set up by Stewart for his Dracula Woman and Fang Girl comic. He has a poorly made, battered and tore in places poster reading: Written, Drawn, Lettered, Inked, and Editted by Stewart Noss Esquire. Stewart is on the table shouting his head off to get attention to his booth. Jess is embarrassed to be there as several geeks give her lovey dovey eyes while Kelly is having fun with it as she leaps into the air and thrusts a fist forward. At his table is a pile of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl comics. The booth next door a Hispanic male the same age as Stewart is greeting someone. His is just a table with his comic with a poster reading: Dreamer: A US Citizen’s Tale.

Stewart: That’s right! It’s Dracula Woman and Fang Girl! The greatest superhero team since PB Champion and Jello Mello Man!!!

Geek one: So, ever kissed a man who wears a retainer?

Fang Girl: Yes! I am a super type person who does super type things like jump and punch and kick!

Panel two: Two cosplayers dressed like Waldo and King Kong wave Kelly off. Behind Kelly, Jess is shaking a fist at the geeks to chase them off as the nerd who flirted at her is holding his jaw with a red pain star over his head.

Kelly: I don’t get it. I’m being super cheery, but I’m not connecting with any of these people!

Jess: I am.

Panel three: Stewart bends down and sticks his head between the two as he tries to get them to focus.

Stewart: Hey! You two are not helping!  Kelly, you’re not anywhere close to being a superhero! Jess, give dorks a chance!

Kelly: I’m trying my best! I just don’t get any of this comic hero stuff!

Jess: And I’m not going to let dweebs paw me.

Page  3

Panel one: Stewart jumps down between the girls as he turns to talk with Jess who folds her arms and has angry black scribbles over her head.

Stewart: What, that’s reserved only for European vampires with ridiculous last names?

Panel two: Stewart is talking with Kelly to instruct her on what to do as Jess notices a trio of professional cosplay/booth  females who are kicking away various nerds and dressed up people who are reaching for them.

Stewart: Kelly, a superhero is someone who gets powers and then uses them properly when their uncle or cat dies.

Stewart: And then they’re never happy because they live two lives and then a new creative team joins the book and recons whatever they want. That’s why Arachno-Boy went from happily married man to homeless derelict.

Kelly: …Whuh?

Panel three: A flustered Stewart waves Kelly off to explore the comicon as she shrugs her shoulders and goes along with it.

Stewart: Look there is a ton of creative minds here. Some of them talented. Go talk with them. Learn. Enrich your life. Come back useful to the cause.

Panel four: Stewart begins to turn his head.

Stewart: Okay, Jess, it’s just us.

Stewart: Jess…?

Panel five: In the foreground, Jess is walking away with the trio of professional cosplayers. In the background Stewart looks on angrily.

Booth girl one: …And I told him, “Fine. I’ll give you two months to recoup you losses and pay me then. Just give me some of the profits instead of the interest being charged.”

Booth Girl two: What about  you, rook.

Jess: I’m paid in blood.

Cosplay professional two: Nice.

Page 4

Panel one: Stewart turns back to his booth.

Stewart: Sheesh! I dipped my ink in sweat and bargained with my blood and this is what I get out of it?!

Aaron off-panel: Don’t worry, friend. Like my aunt says, if you got heart, you can do anything!

Stewart: Yeah, thanks…

Panel two: Stewart turns around to the booth next to him to see Aaron Rodriguez and his Dreamer: A U.S. Citizen Story booth doing extremely well with various people (cosplay and just wearing hero themed t-shirts) lined up and buying his comic.

Stewart: !!!

Aaron: I’m Aaron Rodriguez! It’s nice to be booth buddies with you!

Panel three: Stewart grabs a comic out of a paying customer’s hand.

Stewart: How are you doing so well? Is it mutant aliens?? I knew I should have made Jess a puss spewing cockroach!

Panel four: Stewart flips through the comic unimpressed as Aaron talks.

Aaron: No, it’s just about my life. I’m a dreamer and with DACA up in the air—well, I thought I’d tell my story so people could understand. 

Aaron: It covers my childhood, my parents deportation, and my life right up to now.

Panel five: Stewart throws the comic back at the angry customer as he tries to act unimpressed.

Stewart: Sorry, pal, hate to tell ya, but this won’t work. People don’t read comics to connect with other human beings, but to get away from them.

Panel six: The customer shoves Stewart off-panel as Stewart’s hat twirls in the air.


Stewart going off-panel: See?

Page 5

Panel one: In the middle of the comicon as Videl takes her hood off to show that she has aged to what appears to be 50 years old with her hair nearly all gray. In her other hand is a broom and the flyer for Dracula Woman and Fang Girl. Pagan her familiar is still on her shoulder. Pagan nods his head agreeing with Videl. Walking in front of Videl is a person dressed as Unicorn Man (mostly colored pink and purple).

Videl: Pagan, remember when it was difficult to procure a virgin?

Pagan: Meow.

Panel two: Videl looks at the flyer of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl and over the page we can see several female cosplayers and various people dressed in similar costumes. One is a guy wearing super short tights and winking at a confused Ronan the Barbarian.

Videl: Hm. This may be more complicated a task than I had anticipated.

Panel three: Videl is placing Pagan on the ground as he licks her hand.

Videl: Do what you do best, my familiar:

Panel four: Pagan begins to stalk ahead as he nearly causes a man dressed as a star fleet captain to fall into a nearby comic book bin. Videl is in the background gleefully looking on.

Videl: Hunt.

Panel five: Two large males around the main cast’s age bump into Videl and nearly knock her over. One is dressed like a super hero Surfer complete with scoobies, tan, and a beach towel as his cape. Another is dressed as a muscular rat with red shorts on the outside of his costume.

Super Dude: --Than he’s like, “I was reading comics before there was a cinematic universe!” And then I banged his mom and was like—hey!!


Rat Man: Yo, really old lady or guy dressed like a really old lady, move your tookus out off the track when the testosterone train is coming through!

Panel six: Videl looks up at them with her eyes glowing red and her yellow and twisted teeth gnashing.

Page 6

Panel one: Videl turns her head to her left to see Vera being turned down by a someone dressed like Bull from The Blue Baron sitcomics.

Vera: Yeah, go back to pasture! I want a raging bull, not a steer!

Videl: Perfect.

Panel two: Videl raises up and waves her left hand as red energy goes from her hand and surrounds Super Dude and Rat Man as their pupils dilated.

Videl: Love is heinous, a horrible blight—

Panel three: Videl moves her hand towards Vera as the spell enchanted Super Dude and Rat Man turn to Vera with hearts over their eyes. Vera is picking her nose with one hand and scratching her rear with the other as all this goes on unnoticed by her.

Videl: --Be it blind, so I guide your sight!

Panel four: Ratman and Super Dude run up to Vera completely entranced by her as Vera flicks a booger at a female dressed like Raider from The Blue Baron Comic.

Super Dude: Let me lick your toes!

Ratman: No me! No me!

Vera: Hah! Knew my feminine mystique would drive the men wild after they got a whiff!

Panel five: Videl looks on with a guilty look on her face as Vera takes Super Dude and Rat Man each by hand and leads them away past cosplayers dressed like Laura Croft, Wonder Woman, and Scarlet Witch who look on completely confused.

Videl: Hm. I think this is the first time I’ve felt “guilt” in nearly a century.

Page 7

Panel one: Jess is still talking with the three professional cosplayers as they go over money. One of the girls looks off screen with a heart over her head.

Jess: Wow. You mean you make that much money--!

Booth Girl one: Yeah, being a booth girl when the comic takes off moderately is good. Modeling shirts, posing for calendars pays the bills. Freelancing comes with options.

Booth Girl three: And—ever since the comic based movies became hits—the quality in males picked up. Check out that Hunk Titanic coming to port.

Panel two: Jess eagerly turns her head to see who they are talking about.

Jess: Aye aye, captain.

Panel three: Jess’ face turns to one of disappointment and disgust.

Jess: !!!

Panel four: Trevor dressed like Captain Courageous complete with shield as he walks towards the girls with hearts over his head and looking directly at Jess.

Jess: That’s no Hunk Titanic. That’s a nimrod iceberg.

Page 8

Panel one: Trevor is talking with Jess as Jess tries to back away.

Trevor: Wow. I think you’re my soul mate, mysterious masked hot thang. I can feel my pancrease plitter platter.

Jess: Er, um, you should see a doctor about that. I’ll just leave you to—

Panel two: The Booth girls shove her back towards Trevor much to Jess’s dismay.

Booth Girl one: Hey, it’s okay to have fun on the side.

Booth Girl two: Just stay in character. It’s more fun that way.

Panel three: The Booth Girls walk away as Jess tries to call them back.

Jess: Hey! No you don’t understand! I can’t stand him I—

Panel four: Jess turns to look at Trevor who has hearts floating over his head.

Panel five: Jess looks straight at Trevor and shows her fangs to try and scare him off. Trevor has the same look and same hearts floating over his head as the previous panel

Jess: Just so you know, I suck people dry.

Panel six: Same shot with Trevor only the hearts have tiny water bottles they’re hitting each other with. Jess has covered her mouth in response to Trevor and her eyes are wide a saucer plates.

Trevor: That’s okay. I drink plenty of fluids and like it rough.


Page 9

Panel one: A confused Kelly is walking along as she looks at two fanboys sharing a comic while a  frustrated girl goes completely ignored. Behind her is a crowd of people dressed up in various costumes talking with each other. In the crowd somewhere is Bumpy the Vampire taking a selfie.

Kelly: I’ve been walking around for awhile now, and I still don’t get the appeal of comic books. I wish someone could help me.

Panel two: Kelly turns her head as a voice talks to her.

David Morbius off panel: You need not look further.

Panel three: Kelly turns around to see David Morbius (A Neil Gaiman homage) who looks similar to Dream of the Endless from DC Comics. He is sitting at his booth with various graphic novels (Dreamstar and Glassmask) set up. David looks very intimidating and Kelly looks like she sees a ghost. David Morbius has his fingers pressed together and has his heavily bagged eyes glance up towards Kelly.

David Morbius: I couldn’t help but overhear your plight. Please. Let’s talk.

Kelly: …’kay.

Panel four: Cut back a few minutes and Kelly is reading the Dreamstar graphic novel and is enjoying herself as it turns out that David Morbius is a super relativeable, friendly guy.

Caption: Five minutes later…

Kelly: Wow. I do see it! This is great! The words and art—it just goes so together! I can’t put this book down! I get it! Thank you, Mr. Morbius!

David Morbius: Not a problem. We all travel down the various paths on our life journey, when we cross paths, it is nice to have small talk about what entertains then dwell on hardships we share.

Kelly: Yepper Deppers.

David Morbius: Yepper Deppers indeed.

Page 10

Panel one: Back to Stewart at his booth as he has his elbow on his table and hand in his open palm. With his free hand, he flicks a Dracula Woman and Fang Girl comic at a random person walking by. Aaron still has a long line as he hands out a comic and shakes a person’s hand who is in tears show how touched he was by Aaron’s story.

Aaron: Wow. This is an amazing experience.

Stewart: Like waiting in the dentist office for your root canal appointment.

Aaron: Can I read your comic?

Stewart: Can you? Is it in your boring graphic novel? A chapter on reading comics?

Aaron: Expressing myself through comics is chapter ten.

Panel two: Stewart is sneering and holding up a copy of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl as a muscular man in a tank top wearing a luchador mask listens in.

Stewart: Yeah! Well, it just so happens, I wrote what I know, too!!

Panel three: The muscular luchador looks at the comic as Stewart looks hopeful. The muscular man rubs his thumb and index finger along his chin as he examines the cover.

Panel four: The muscular luchador begins to walk away as Stewart takes offense and leans over his booth as if to confront the man.

Luchador: If that were true, why are the main characters female?

Stewart: Hey!!!

Panel five: The Luchador turns and glares at Stewart as Stewart feigns a smile as the sweat poors down his face.

Stewart: …is what horses eat.

Page 11

Panel one: Videl is trying to use her broom as a cane but stumbles, accidentally knocking over a toy on a booth showcasing various types of kaiju and robotic characters in their original boxes. The owner of the booth overreacts while spitting out bits of Ninja Eating Star cereal, with the box nearby as another promotion plug.

Videl: Rrh.

Toy owner: Lady, watch what you’re doing. Do you know how much Gandadanga the Maverick Monster costs?

Panel two: The toy owner is eating more of the Ninja Eating Star cereal as Videl angrily looks at him.

Toy owner: 1,000 dollars. And that’s out of the box unlike the rest of these beauties.

Toy owner: So if you’re having a heart attack go die over by the Woolie Moolie table, like who cares about those overrated patches of fur?

Panel three: Videl suddenly latches out and swings her broom creating a massive wind, knocking all the boxed toys out of their boxes and onto the ground as the toy owner is thrown back by the mystical gust Videl creates with her broom.

Videl: I care little for you and your poppets, you pathetic worm!!!


Panel four: Videl hobbles away as she has to use both hands on her broom to steady herself. In the background the toy owner is crying like he is holding his dead child as a toy resembling Optimus Prime falls apart in his two hands.

Videl thinking: The more my true age festers upon me, the more my body fails and my magic wavers.

Panel five: A close up on Videl’s withered face and her eyes as they look duller but she has a harsher glare to show how frustrated she is becoming.

Videl thinking: And this…location. These…people.

Videl thinking: What would any sane person find redeemable in this conglomeration of society’s weakest dregs….?

Caption: The most sane: Advertisers! We’ll be back after a quick break.

Fan Fiction / Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 10, 2018, 08:22:07 PM »

Page 13

Panel one: An overhead shot of Dixon College Library.

Panel two: Inside of the Dixon College Library, Stewart is at the photo machine as he is reaching into a tube sock to pull out another dime to make another photocopy as Vera looks on impatiently. Near the photo copier is a table with a large stack of Stewart’s Dracula Woman and Fang Girl fliers.

Vera: Babe, all the dimes you put into this machine just to print your comics, probably got this library a new wing! Why the fliers?!

Stewart: Gotta spend money to make money.

Stewart: Unless you’re an investor. Than it’s other people’s money.

Panel three: The librarian whispers at Vera and annoys her as Stewart is putting another flyer print out on top of the already massive pile he has.

Stewart: You’ll see, spinach between my teeth. Social media is nice, but people love it when they have something in their hands to read.

Librarian: SSHHHHH!!!

Panel four: Vera yells at the librarian as loud as she can with her mouth taking up the majority of her head as Stewart shakes out the last dime out of his tube sock. The Librarians body tenses up and her hair pops off her head in response to Vera’s volume.


Page 14

Panel one: Stewart is walking out of the library putting the sock back on his foot as he has his shoe laces in his mouth. Vera is forced to carry the massive fliers as she has trouble seeing. A couple of guys walk past them and give them confused looks.

Vera: Um…erhh…uhhhk…what are we going to…do with these…?!
Stewart: That’s your job.

Panel two: Vera turns to Stewart in anger as Stewart walks away with his arms folded over his head and the shoe he just put on is over the leg of his pair of jeans.

Vera: What the heck do you mean--?!

Stewart: Hey, I’m the writer, artist, colorist, editor of the property. You have to contribute somehow. Just post them up all over town. It’ll be fun.

Stewart: Don’t worry about downtown gang violence. Any wound will heal with enough time.

Panel three: Vera is glaring where Stewart had been as she gnashes her teeth to the point sparks are coming out of her mouth. A female college student looks on in amazement, not noticing a bird flying right at her. The wind is picking up as the flyer on top begins to flap.

Vera: Times like this I miss when I was just his imaginary girlfriend!

Panel four: Vera looks up as the wind blows the flyer high into the air. The bird has begun pecking the female college student on the head. Behind the girl, a stray cat is stalking forward.

Vera: ?

Panel five: Vera gives the reader an aside glance and smile as the wind picks up. The female college student is happily picking up the stray cat who has a pouched out stomach and bird feathers in his mouth.

Page 15

Panel one: A high angle view of the fliers in the air as Vera all the way on the ground has just thrown them up in the air and lets the wind take them to wherever they may go. One of the flyers is flown right at the reader to show a picture of Dracula Woman and Fang Girl doing a fist bump over an unconscious space werewolf. The headline reads: Best new comic to be drawn, written, and colored in crayon! DRACULA WOMAN AND FANG GIRL!!! Meet the creator and buy at Dung Hill Comic Con Tonight! (KNITFLICK PRODUCERS ENCOURAGED!!!)

Panel two: Vera wipes her hands off as she happily walks away. In the sky one stray flier is zooming to the left of the panel while the others are going straight ahead. The flyer has a small tear on the right corner. One female student has a thought balloon of stick of butter with one end having a donkey head carved out. Another female student looks at the thought balloon dumbfounded as she jogs along.

Vera: And that’s how it’s done!

Panel three: Stewart is walking along as various fliers go over his head unnoticed. Stewart has a grin on his face and skip in his step.

Stewart: Y’know, I’m really lucky to have a girlfriend who believes in my dream as much as I do.

Panel four: Stewart stops as he has a thought balloon of himself standing on a pile of money with Vera by his side along with Wonder Woman homage. The female jogger from the panel two is running behind him and noticing the thought balloon.

Stewart: I can just see us after my well crafted, thought-out plan comes to fruition.

Panel five: Stewart does the Titanic pose as the jogger has a wide eyed expression. Stewart has a thought balloon of a mansion wearing Stewart’s hat.

Stewart: And we’ll live in the best mansion ever designed!

Jogger whispering: I psychic…

Page 16

Panel one: Jess’s car is pulling into the parking lot of the Dung Hill Hall. Next to their car is a red thunderbird (be important issue three) The building has a giant banner hung overhead reading: DUNG HILL COMIC CON (SMELLS BETTER THAN IT READS)

Stewart inside of the car: This is it, girls! Inside legends and myths convene!

Jess inside of car: Definitely not where any guys and girls get together.

Stewart inside of the car: Show’s what you know--

Panel two: Jess and Kelly are wearing buttoned up trench coats as both have their domino masks on. We can see they are wearing their boots. Stewart is carrying a box filled with comics and a folder of his work as he argues with Jess. Vera is pulling out a poster for Dracula Woman and Fang Girl which she is badly wrinkling and tearing because of her carelessness. Vera is wearing blue shirt with DW FG written in with a black marker. Stewart is wearing an identical shirt.  Jess and Kelly smile at each other as they make a joke at Stewart’s expense.

Stewart: My mom and dad did it behind Bobbie the Bot! Just ask any surviving member of the Missing in Space cast.

Kelly: Are we I supposed to know who any of those people are?

Jess: Sure. They’re the oldest, blindest people in the world.

Panel three: Jess is opening the doors to the Dung Hill Hall as she looks back a nervous Kelly.

Kelly whispering: Um, Jess, now that we’re here…I’m kinda nervous about people seeing me like this…

Jess: Kel, there’s only going to be six or seven people.

Panel four: Jess looks ahead with eyes wide as Kelly looks over her shoulder with her jaw dropped.

Jess: Then again—

Kelly: Yeeper Jeepers!

Page  17  Like a mini wear’s Waldo page.

Giant spread of the comic con showing massive amounts of people. Inside you have several booths for creators and people dressed up as various homages to various heroes or just the Sitcomics superheroes. Some people are wearing shirts of the heroes. One person is dressed in safari gear with a sign reading, “I have rhino insurance!”. In front of Jess and Kelly is a father dressed like the Blue Baron and his son, who is on his phone texting and not paying any attention. One of the booth is for Stanley Man with a Stan Lee homage taking a picture with two attractive women. You have a few professional cosplayers with people who are taking pictures using their phones. One nerd with a stack of comics has collided with another nerd with a stack of comics. At a toy booth, a kid has taken a toy out of it’s box and the owner of the toy looks like he’s seen a murder. Just have fun with it. Somewhere is Bumpy The Vampire hiding behind someone, giving the reader  a friendly wave of the hand.

Page 18

Panel one: Stewart and Vera walk past the two girls as if this is nothing. Kelly has her attention to a fat guy dressed like a Jedi master as he is failing to twirl his lazer bo. Jess is looking over at a skinny hipster Batman like character trip over his own cape.

Stewart: The crème de la crème of my world. An annual gathering of peers of the fictional and believers of the impossible!

Panel two: A close up on Stewart’s face as he becomes frustrated by what Kelly is saying in the foreground with a giant grin like she’s figured out what’s going on.

Kelly: Oh! It’s like Halloween!

Panel three: Several costume people yell at Kelly in a giant word balloon as she hides behind Jess who looks on in disbelief. Stewart looks on with his arms folded, giant smile, and his nose stuck up in the air. Vera just seems disappointed it isn’t her version of Halloween.


Vera: ‘Sides, If it was Halloween, there would be candy and vodka.

Page 19

Panel one: Vera looks over and sees a few rather buff people in He-Man and Thor costumes as she licks her lips.

Vera: Maybe it is Halloween. There is some treats I can do tricks with.

Panel two: Vera turns to Stewart with a giant smile as Stewart gently waves her off to have fun.

Vera: Pookie-ookie-wookie, I know we’re in a newly formed loving relationship that could use more foundation, but do you think that maybe—?

Stewart: Honey cookie, you go on ahead. I’ll probably be looking for a few Wonder Babes and Warrior Friaress Azreals myself!

Panel three: Stewart and Vera Eskimo kiss with various hearts coming from each and rubbing together.

Panel four: Vera is walking away and waving goodbye as Stewart looks on and waves his four fingers back. A confused Jess turns to Stewart.

Vera: Watch out Super City! Momma Freak coming to crunch!!

Jess: Wait. I thought you two were an actual couple now.

Stewart: We are…

Panel five: Stewart is looking at a cosplayer dressed as She-Bulk (She-Hulk only purple) as he has his jaw dropped and tongue sticking out. Jess is face palming while Kelly is cautiously looking around to see if everyone is still angry with her.

Stewart: ...It’s with other people that we’re pretending with now.

Page 20

Panel one: Stewart has the box and poster as he walks ahead. Walking past Jess and Kelly is two female cosplayers dressed as Red Sonya and Shanna the She-Devil walk past them.

Stewart: Look, just get into the spirit and you’ll have fun while I’m living my dream and then selling my dream to make a crud load of moolah!

Jess: (Sigh) Well, we are overdressed…and I had to use a bucket of Vaseline to get in this stupid costume—

Panel two: Kelly and Jess let their trench coats slip down so the reader can finally see their costume. Kelly is leaping in the air doing a pose while Jess has her hands at her hips striking a pose. Both girls have their fangs out.

Panel three: A random fat nerd walks past the two and ruins the moment. Kelly and Jess yell at the random nerd in protest.

Fat random nerd:  Those are the fakest looking fangs ever.

Kelly:  They are not!

Jess:  We can prove it!

Page 21

Panel one: Stewart turns to talk to the girls as he annoys them with his talk.

Stewart: Hey, you don’t bite anyone unless it’s for promotional purposes!

Panel two: Stewart is talking with the girls as they glare at him.

Stewart: Look, when we get to our booth just act natural. Your normal vacant smiles and usual flintiness should do the trick.

Panel three: Same panel only with Jess and Kelly looking at each other and nodding their head.

Panel four: The girls are walking away as they have thrown their trench coats over Stewart’s head as he can’t see and is about to stumble into a Star Battles toy collection table as a skinny wookie roars in alarm.

Jess: Don’t push it, geek boy.

Wookie: mmmrrraaahh

Panel five: Kelly is trying to cheer up Jess as Jess looks over at a group of wanna bee Avengers posing in their pretty horrible costumes.

Kelly: C’mon, Jess, don’t be a Frowny Frannie. We’re getting a month’s worth of blood and everyone else seems to be having the time of their lives.

Jess: Yeah. Well, the blood sure…but I just have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me that something bad is coming our way.

Kelly: Oh, c’mon, Jess…

Page 22

Panel one: A right angle view of the Dung Hill Hall.

Panel two: A cloaked figure with her head down (Videl) with a black cat on her shoulder is coming into view. In her right hand she has her broom. In her left she is holding a piece of paper

Panel three: A close-up on the cloaked figure with her face shielded in darkness and Pagan having her eyes closed.

Panel four: Videl raises her head up as her eyes a glowing bright red to reveal she looks middle aged with her blond hair now having heavy weight streaks in it. Pagan opens his eyes as they are pure yellow with no pupils. She is now holding up the Dracula Woman and Fang Girl flyer in view of the reader. The flyer has a tear at the right corner showing it’s the flyer that went the opposite way of all the others.

Caption: ….What’s the worst that can happen?

Fan Fiction / Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 10, 2018, 08:10:38 PM »

Red shirt with a dot.

Panel one: Setting is a city street. A male model is wearing a Hawaiian shirt and looking disgusted at it. Two female models walk by him and give him the L for loser.

Caption: You know what the problem is with today’s fashion? Too many colors!!

Caption: How will the ladies know the real you through that crayola vomit stain on your chest?

Panel two: Suddenly the male model has a red shirt with a white dot on it as he looks surprisingly happy.

Caption: The answer:

SFX poof

Caption: Simplify!

Panel three: The Male Model is striking a pose as the two female models run back to him.

Caption: Everyone loves the color red and who could resist that dot.

Panel four: The male model is being kissed by the female models on each of his face cheeks.

Male Model: Red Shirt with a  Dot—You’re my best friend.

Shirt with a Red Dot: That I am.But I’m not alone…

Caption: Disclaimer note: Shirt is not magical and thus cannot talk, but everything else is legit. You will get the ladies. (small print: probably not really)

Panel five: On the panel is a blue shirt with a red triangle, a yellow shirt with a ketchup stain, and plain white.

Caption: That’s right! Blue shirt with a red triangle for the braniacs, yellow shirt with a ketchup stain for you butterfingers out there and white on white shirt! Wowie!

Caption: Each t-shirt only $29.99!


Rhino Insurance.

Panel one: A redneck is sitting on his porch as he watches a rhinos aurous rampaging and knocking over his prized lawnmower. On the man’s bare chest is a bandage to show he got gored.

Caption: You think you’re safe. That it’ll never happen to you. Then a rhinoceros
suddenly appears in your front yard and turns you life inside out!

Redneck: Dat hippo dun-did run me through and tipped over Dale Jr!!!

Panel two: The redneck looks at the caption box

Caption: What you need is rhino insurance!

Redneck: Yee-Haw! Sign me up invisible voice man!

Panel three: A muscular man dressed in safari gear is suddenly running past the redneck who looks on angrily and is reaching for his nearby shotgun.

Outback Dan: Oy! That lolly is on a rampage. I’ll be done in two shakes of a koala!

Redneck: Foreigner!

Redneck: Don’t take my job!

Redneck: Build the wall!

Caption: No! That’s Outback Dan, you’re rhino insurance!

Panel four: The redneck does a victory jig as Outback Dan is posing over the dead rhino.

Redneck: Slap my ma and call ‘er my sister Mary Lou, the mother of my childrens!

Caption: Just ten dollars every month keeps you safe. Another ten and we’ll dispose of the carcass.

Panel five: The Redneck and Outback Dan are eating roast rhino meat as the ching glasses in a cheer with moonshine in small jelly cups. In the background is a giant deep fryer with the horn of the rhino sticking out over the top.

Redneck: Hee-hee. I can take care of that just fine!

Outback Dan: Smacks you in the mouth like a rowdy boomerang, mate.

Caption: Rhino Insurance! Protection against horned, thick skinned devils--

Caption: --And you might even make a friend!

Fan Fiction / Re: Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 08, 2018, 11:44:21 PM »
Page 8

Panel one: Vera is not so subtly bringing up how she saved the two from Willow the last real issue of Super Suckers. Jess and Kelly turn their head towards each other in an “uh oh, she might have us.”

Vera: Gee, I hate to hear that. Almost like how I hated to hear your butts being kicked by that Willow girl before yours truly, the one and only, saved your lives…..

Caption: Last episode.

Panel two: Vera overly acts being sad as she puts her forearm over her eyes.

Vera: …Or how my roomie and sorority sister, my two besties, lied to me about being blood sucking vampires because –sob sob weep weep—they d-didn’t trust me!

Panel three: Jess and Kelly look dead ahead at Vera as Vera has a triumphant smile on her face.

Jess: You play dirty.

Vera: I play nasty.

Vera: And I win.

Panel four: Stewart has regained his composure as he talks with Jess and Kelly. He points his right hand index finger at his jugular. Jess slouches as Kelly puts a friendly, reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Stewart: And I’ll sweeten the pot. You do this one thing for me, I’ll give you both a month’s worth of blood for free.

Stewart: C’mon, Jess. I know this is a good deal for you. Y’know after losing your job at F.U.C. and all.

Jess: Thank you for reminding me. I’d almost forgotten the downward spiral my life took just recently.

Caption: Last episode again. What an important story. You should buy two more.

Panel five: Stewart is holding up the comic of Captain Courageous.

Stewart: And when I make it big, I’ll cut you in on my profits. Just look at this character:

Stewart: His films have already grossed over 1 billion world wide in less than a month!

Page 9

Panel one: Stewart is holding the book up he shoves it in the faces of the girls. In the background, we can now see the door to the room.

Stewart: Look at it, girls. This is the future to a better world for us all. A world where we all get what we deserve.

Panel two: Suddenly Trevor slams the door open as he glares at Stewart who suddenly begins to shake. All the other characters turn to Trevor. With his free hand, Trevor is dropping a wadded up note to the ground.

Trevor: “Borrowed your number one, priceless Captain Courageous comic. Will return whenever”!!?

Panel three: Trevor lifts Stewart high in the air by his shirt with one hand as he pulls back his fist ready to let Stewart have it. Stewart has his hands over his eyes as he doesn’t want to see what’s coming his way. Vera looks on licking her lips.

Trevor: You don’t “borrow” anything from me. You barter years of you life!

Vera thinking: My ripped man in a throwdown fight to the death. Romantic as fudge.

Panel four: Jess grabs Trevor’s fist to stop him from walloping Stewart. Kelly looks on like nothing special is happening as she flips her hair.

Jess: Is that how it works, Mr. Numbered Days?

Trevor: Bodacious babe! Didn’t see you when I barged in uninvited. Oh hi, Kelly.

Kelly: Hey. Love what you did with my hair.

Panel five: Jess is folding her arms and turning away from Trevor as Trevor tries to explain. Stewart falls to the ground as Vera congratulates him. Stewart weakly raises a trembling fist in the air.

Jess That’s new. You usually don’t see me because my ex boss is on top of you or when I’m outside where I used to be employed after you escorted me out.

Trevor: Aw, hottie-bo-totie, don’t be like that! I only did what you wanted and then what the woman I did it with wanted!

Vera: Baby, you lived! You won!

Stewart: yah.

Page 10

Panel one: Trevor folds his arms as he turns away from Jess as Jess does the same.

Trevor: ‘Sides, you promised me a date and all I got was coffee, roaches, and the offer to bonk my boss.

Jess: You still want a date??  How about June 32sd—Get The Hell Out Of My Life Forever Day!

Panel two: Trevor nervously turns to Kelly as Kelly as looking through the Captain Courageous comic.

Kelly: Trevor, this is yours?

Trevor: Well, um, uh, my little brother’s best friend from Canada gave it to me before I left for college…

Panel three: Kelly is looking through the comic as Trevor becomes frustrated.

Kelly: Well, it’s a pretty neat fairy tale picture book—

Panel four: Trevor grabs the book as Stewart comes into panel to repeat what he says. Kelly falls backwards from the volume of the two comic geeks.

Trevor and Stewart: Superhero Action Adventure Motion Page Graphic Novel!!!

Panel five: Trevor turns to Stewart and glares at him while Stewart replies with a small smile and a thumbs up.

Panel six: Trevor face shoves Stewart off panel.

Page 11

Panel one: Jess is pointing at the door as Trevor walks towards it. Kelly is trying to sit back up like she was. Vera is happy as a loopy Stewart was pushed into her loving arms as she gives his a kiss on the cheek.

Jess: Just leave!

Trevor: Fine! Consider it GTHOOMLF Day come early!

Panel two: Jess is at the door as Trevor slams the door shut

Trevor: You’ll never see the chiseled grill or my seven pack abs ever again!

Jess: Excellent!


Panel three: Trevor sticks his head through the door as he calmly talks to Jess. Jess had just begun to walk away and now her teeth are gritted and her eyebrows furrowed.

Trevor: But we can still make out if you want.

Panel four: Trevor closes the door just as Jess kicks where his head had been. Kelly is walking up to Jess.

Jess: OUT!!


Kelly: Um, Jess, I don’t think you should be mad at Trevor. Like my mammal used to say--

Panel five: Jess turns and yells at Kelly as with her fangs hanging out. Kelly looks on wide eyed.


Panel six: Kelly tilts her head and smiles a giant smile as Jess gives the reader an aside glance.

Kelly: …“Never get between a possum and her drumstick bone.” 

Jess: You’re grandmother must be the smartest person in the backwoods.

Page 12

Panel one: Stewart tosses the duffle bag into Kelly’s chest as he and Vera begin to leave the room.

Stewart: Riveting like an episode of Bob the Builder.

SFX: plmm

Stewart: Here’s you costumes. The Dung Hill Comic Con is at the Hamilton Hall tomorrow. Be ready by six. We’ll take Jess’ car.

Vera: Tot-a-tat-tah.

Panel two: Kelly pulls out her costume as she looks at it happily.

Kelly; Oh wow! This is cute! I think I’m a cheerleader. Neats.

Panel three: Jess pulls out her unitard (think Psylocke how hard to put on costume wise) and holds it out over her chest as she has a look of disbelief. Kelly looks over and motions like she agrees.

Jess: Good for you. It’s like I’ll be a swimsuit model and--

Jess: I’m going to have to cut myself out of this thing!!!

Fan Fiction / Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 07, 2018, 12:08:59 PM »
Character introduction page.
Shot inside of a comic con with Jess and Kelly each looking at their cosplay costumes with a mix of disgust and confusion. Stewart is next to them reading Dracula Woman and Fang Girl as he doesn’t notice the blond attractive witch behind him. The witch, Videl, is peering over at Jess and Kelly. On Videl’s shoulder is a black cat with a chipped right ear. Vera is close to Stewart as she rolls her eyes. In front of Stewart is a two foot tall old school black and white Mickey Mouse cartoon vampire bat striking a pose.
Caption: Jess and Kelly two newly vampires about to enter another world of weirdness.
Caption: Stewart: Comic book lover turned creator who wants to cash in on the comic book movie/ tv show boom.
Caption Vera. Stewart’s now real girlfriend and dealing with the consequences of dating an ambitious geek.
Caption: Videl. Wicked Witch. What could she want with our two favorite vampires?
Caption: Pagan. A cat. Likes yarn and mouse heads.
Caption: Bumpy the Vampire. This mischievous little fellow has infiltrated our set. Can you help security find him?
Page 1
Panel one: Close up on a 3/4ths moon (Waxing Gibbous).
Caption: Super Suckers filmed in front of a live studio audience…except this small scene filled on location in the back woods of Lima Bean, Ohio. Your check is in the mail.
Voice off-panel: Ah, my love, what a beautiful night.
Panel two: The setting is a path along a forest area with the trees covered in shadow for a later reveal. A man a suit and tie and a woman wearing a black dress and gloves is walking through a forest area. The man is much more  happier than the woman who looks like she would rather be anywhere else. The woman is Videl Lilit. She looks to be in her mid twenties with long blond hair and blue eyes. Percy Pangle, the man, he’s much older so the reader gets she’s just marrying him for his money.
Percy Pangle: And while I’m glad to be home, it’s a shame our honeymoon had to end.
Videl: For you maybe.
Panel three: Percy walks ahead along the path with outstretched arms.
Percy: We’re rich, in love, and we’ve got the rest of our lives together…
Percy: What could ever go wrong?
Panel four: Angle from over Percy’s left shoulder as Videl’s eyes glow red as she prepares to use her magic powers.
Videl: It could turn out you married a witch who only wanted to accumulate more vast wealth and you have now outlived your usefulness. Speaking off which…
Videl: Et in lingo.
Percy: What was that--?
Panel five: Percy looks down at his feet to see that they are becoming wooden and his arms and hands are becoming tree limbs and branches as Videl’s eyes and hands glow even redder. In her right hand, a broom stick is forming.
Videl: It’s Latin.
Videl: A dead language for a dead man.
Page 2
Panel one: Videl looks at the tree that was Percy Pangle as it has a screaming face in the bark and is about her size. With her right hand she taps the ground with the end of the broom.
Videl: If only you had been better in bed, Percy Pangle the 7th… I might have held this off for another week or two.
Panel two: Videl looks over at several nearby trees who have screaming faces in their bark (to show that she’s been doing this to people for a long, long time). In the shadows small yellow eyes are glowing near the ground.
Videl: Oh well.
Videl: You can come out now, snookums.
Panel three: A black cat springs from the darkness and into Videl’s outstretch arms. The cat has a chipped left ear.
Videl: That stupid, stupid man is gone and baby has an all new scratching post for himself.
Pagan: purrrr
Panel four: Videl looks at Pagan in her hands and notices her hands have aged and have become wrinkly and withered.
Videl: What--?!
Panel five: Videl looks up at the sky and sees the 3/4th moon as she cradles Pagan in her arms as Pagan playfully swipes at the broom bristles.
Videl: Has it been nearly fifty years? The time does fly. If only immortality came with eternal youth…
Videl: We need to find two vampires. Immediately. And woe to those vampires for they know not what evil they will soon face.
Page 3
Panel one: Location is Jess’s room as we have a close up on Jess and Kelly as they are looking ahead at something. Kelly is confused and trying her best to be nice as she feigns a smile while raising her left eyebrow up. Jess is much more blunt and looking annoyed. Both are sitting at the head of her bed.
Caption: THAT LADY IS A REAL WITCH (insert other stuff)
Kelly: Well, that’s, um, sure…a thing you’re showing us. It exists. It’s part of reality. And…that’s good. Real good, right, Jess?
Jess: Yeah, about as good as being ripped apart by a shark.
Stewart off-panel: And that’s what I’m saying!!—it can be even better once you—
Page 4
Panel one: Over the heads of the sitting Jess and Kelly as we now see what they are looking at. Stewart and Vera are in front of them. Stewart, wearing a red shirt with a white dot in the middle (commercial promotion), has set up a stand with a chart which reads: DRACULA WOMAN & FANG GIRL. Both are drawn to resemble Jess and Kelly respectively and draw similar to the Silver Age art style. Dracula Woman (colors mostly black and purple) is wearing the traditional one piece suit (ala Ms. Marvel or Psylocke) a black domino mask, and a purple cape that goes just past her shoulder blades. Fang Girl is wearing cheerleader like garb which I mostly red and black with a red domino mask. Stewart is smiling as he motions towards the chart. Vera with a giant chocolate chip cookie in her mouth strikes a similar pose at the chart. Next to Stewart is a duffle bag with a comic titled CAPTAIN COURAGOUS with a muscular man wearing a Captain America like patriot garb peaking out.
Stewart: Help your ol’ pal, ol’ friend, Stewart launch a one of a kind, brand spankin’ new original comic—
Stewart: --Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!!
Panel two: A dejected Stewart looks at the girl as Kelly tilts her head in confusion while Jess folds her arms across her chest and turns her head as if trying to avoid the stench of something awful ahead.
Jess: Pass.
Kelly: Wait…Dracula’s a guy.  He can only change into a bat, right?
Pane three: Vera shrugs her shoulders as she finishes off the cookie as bits of it fall to the ground where a box of Cool Cookies (another commercial promotion) is lying on the ground.
Vera: Yeah, I don’t get that either, but when you love someone, you support them no matter how fool a thing they’re doing.
Stewart: You’re not helping, love of this phase of my life’s journey!
Page 5
Panel one: Jess quips at Stewart as Stewart smirks at her in pride of his idea.
Jess: So you want us to read your stupid comic.
Stewart: No! I want you to help launch my franchise so I can be stupid rich!
Panel two: Stewart has flipped the chart over to show a picture of a comic book with an arrow pointing to a dollar sign with the no symbol over it. Vera folds her hands on the left side of her face and tilts her head as she looks lovey dovey eyed.
Stewart: Look, comic books are nice. Super even. But they’re only the stepping stone to bigger success.
Caption: Unless you’re reading Sitcomics, like I know you are, you smart, wonderful person you!
Vera: I love it when my boo-boo talks all entrepreneur and suave.
Panel three: Stewart has flipped the chart page over to a new one showing an image of a comic book, a plus sign, a contract and an equal sign ending with an image of Stewart making out with a dollar sign while the words RICH, PRICKS!!! is underlined three times underneath the drawing. Vera is doing the money hand signal while she sings.
Stewart: That’s why you need to sell your property off to Knitflicks or a movie studio! They put it in live action and the people can’t get enough! Your rolling in dough like a keibler elf!
Vera: Millions of dollars! Millions of dollar! Millions and millions of dollars and dollars!
Panel four: Stewart face palms as Kelly is still questioning about Dracula Woman as Jess looks on with a smile as Stewart slams his hat to the ground.
Kelly: So Dracula is transgender?
Stewart: It’s not Dracula! It’s Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!
Page 6
Entire page is drawn like an 80s comic. (SILVER AGE)
Panel one: A close up on a planet in outer space where the one continent is shaped like two fangs. No sun in sight because, well, it’s a planet where everyone is a vampire.
Caption: Okay, just listen…
Caption: In the vast reaches of space five miles past the Milky Way Galaxy was the planet of Vlad, home to the space vampires.
Panel two: A space ship shaped like a werewolf’s head is using a tractor beam to pull a green sun towards Vlad.
Caption: For a millennium they had battled the Intergalactic Werewolves and thought they had destroyed them all until a surviving faction brought a burning green sun—
Panel three: A shot of the green sun set in place causing Planet Vlad to erupt in fire. The werewolf head ship is rocking back and forth in celebration with the mouth part showing a grin.
Caption: --And destroyed the planet!! Killing everyone!!!
Panel four: A small black space ship zips out of the flaming planet and past the confused werewolf head ship.
Caption: Except for a single, solitary space ship.
Werewolf space ship: ???
Panel five: A shot of the black space ship heading towards earth.
Caption: And earth welcomed its newest champions…
Panel six: On the streets of a city, Dracula Woman and Fang Girl are battling intergalactic werewolves (Werewolves wearing spaceman uniforms). Dracula Woman is holding one scared intergalactic werewolf over her head while Fang Girl is doing a double leap kick at two others.
Caption: Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!!!
Caption: And the neverending—du du duh—battle continues!
Page 7
Panel one: Stewart is gleaming with pride as sticks out his chest. Kelly and Jess look blankly at Stewart.
Stewart: Well, what do you think now?
Panel two: The girls start pointing out all the flaws in his comic’s origin story as his face stretches and his eyes somber.
Kelly: So they just happen to be named “Dracula Woman and Fang Girl”?
Jess: How is five miles past the Milky Way, our galaxy, the vast reaches of space?
Kelly: Did they always dress like that?
Jess: They had a space ship. If they had one, shouldn’t everyone on Planet Vlad have one?
Panel three: Stewart is stomping his left food on his right foot in rage.
Stewart: You’re putting too much realism into the concept!!!
Panel four: Stewart is jumping up and down on one foot as Vera just wants to get this over with.
Vera: Okay, this is gone on way longer than I thought and if I miss my Maury and don’t see some baby daddies get got, I can’t sleep peacefully tonight.
Panel five: Vera is talking with Kelly and Jess as they look on.
Vera: Look, Stewie wooie is going to take his comic to the local comic con, and he wants you gals to dress up—
Stewart: Cosplay!
Vera: Whatever. Pretend you’re the characters while he tries to get signed on to by a studio who wants to make this into a movie or show or something that puts the ching ching dollar dolla in the piggy bank!
Panel six: Kelly and Jess are talking with Vera as Stewart is still hopping around in pain.
Kelly: Vera, I don’t even read funny books.
Stewart: Action adventure books!
Jess: Same.  Plus last time I made believe was my elementary school play of Red Riding Hood. I was a rock.

Reviews / PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 2.3
« on: June 06, 2018, 10:59:25 AM »
 Finally caught up on Riverdale (see my reviews do relate to Archie Comics!) on my DVR and—well, at least I liked the last episode. Look, I get that this is darker, but I think you can do dark and have likable and intelligent characters. Seriously, out of all of Riverdale, only Fred Andrews is a decent human being at this point. I really liked the first season, but I thought season two was pretty rotten. Really bad writing.

Speaking of bad writing, I’ll be posting another Super Sucker fan fic soon. :)

But now onto good writing and everything else that a comic needs….THE BLUE BARON.
When we last left off Blowback was on a rampage, consumed with vengeance on Cedric Carson. Now alone, can The Blue Baron/Ernie Rodriguez defeat the day? And what of the Blue Baron, stuck in a teenage body, facing off against a school bully. How both fights end might surprise you.
The good.
The writing. Whoa. This issue hits like a sledgehammer to the gut. There isn’t as much humor as the other issues, but just the emotion, just the reactions to Ernie and the Blue Baron at the end of the issue is heartbreaking because both are in situations where they are helpless to do anything; one because he lacks the maturity and experience the other trapped outside of his life.
And for anyone worried, it’s not all depressing. You get some funny moments with Wanda “Mayday Parker Lives On” Rodriguez confronts Ernie Baron after the fight and his deadpan reaction. Jenna, the blond haired girl from last issue, moments with Ernie Baron are sweet and I already like her. And the mirroring of Blue Baron and Ernie and what’s going on at the same time was great work.
And the issue leaves you wanting more as potential storylines and threats are introduced. As Rossi and Bishop are set to be more of a presence and a mystery from the first issue is solved.
And let me put it to you this way. Normally, I give details because, this came out in the first of the year, but I think it would be best for anyone who is reading or wants to read this comic to pick it up with a pretty clear mind on what to expect. It’s that good.
The art. Ron Frenz is really great here. Just the emotion of the characters. Just the facial expressions of the aftermath is really stunning. This might be the best work that I’ve seen from him. It certainly stands out. The coloring and lettering for emotional responses were appropriate. The inking really shines in this issue. Excellent work from everyone involved.
Battle Blogs. Yeah, I didn’t mention these the last few issues because, well, it was about Start-up and I’d like no spoilers if I ever get more than one issue of the series. But this issue is cool as we have one about Blowback. Nothing special but I was always a fan of the TMNT sourcebooks that went over the history and power of the character…then the stupid internet happen and made it all pointless.
The bad.
 I think one character could have used more flexing out. Heck, this issue I just learned he knew Cedric Carson/Blue Baron were the same person. I have gone back three times and I don’t see anything that would make me believe this character knew Blue Baron’s secret identity.
  • No more Milo. A great loss for us all.
  • He who shall not be named.
What I learned from what I read.
 Wanting to go back to where you were held hostage by a supervillain makes you the second stupidest man alive.
  • Volunteering to go back to where you were held hostage instead of the guy who originally wanted to go makes you the stupidest person alive.
  • Congrates Start-up, you’re the smartest person in this comic or at least the best detective.
  • Teenage hormones are wretched indeed.
  • I don’t even want to think about the possible laws Cedric Carson might be breaking in the next slew of issues
  • Just like in Civil War, I don’t blame the hero for what happened. …But I don’t think this is Joe Quesada’s fault either.
  • Mr. Baxter is like professional wrestling referees: Only interfering when the good guy is winning!
  • Slater is hardcore like American Kirby.
  • Mr. Shilling is still a dillweed.
  • Don’t worry Blowback, we all make little mistakes we have to live with—oh. Right….
Overall: Well, it’s not the funniest of the issues, but if you were wanting more drama and gravitas, here you go. My favorite issue up to this point. Everything hits the mark. The art, writing, coloring, pacing it’s all superb.
It’s an A.
So yeah, this is a series you should be reading. Great quality for an insanely low price.

Fan Fiction / Archie & Me in The Clutz Catastrophe
« on: June 03, 2018, 02:28:38 PM »
 Page 1
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is in his office with Vice Principal Drill Sergeant Howitzer at his side standing in attention as Mr. Auberjonois is slamming a stack of papers down on Mr. Weatherbee’s desk that have several dollar signs on them along with the name Archie Andrews. Mr. Auberjonois is a tall lanky middle age man with a bushy mustache and a large round nose and a bulging forehead. He has small beady eyes and his hair brown turning white. Mr. Weatherbee is trying to be patient but rolls his eyes upwards as he clearly doesn’t want to humor School Board member Mr. Auberjonois
Mr. Auberjonois: Weatherbee these costs! Plumbing! Reconstruction of school grounds! Damages to school property ranging from hallways, to lockers, to classroom instruments—
Mr. Auberjonois: --and the school board and I are supposed to believe that one student caused all of this wanton destruction?
Mr. Weatherbee: You have to live it to believe it, Mr. Auberjonois.
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois continues to yell as he slaps the stack of papers across the room. Mr. Weatherbee looks on in surprise.
Mr. Auberjonois: Don’t be smug with me, Weatherbee! I know how crooks like you operate! Trying to milk the school district for money with these fraudulent claims! Blaming an innocent student!
Mr. Auberjonois: I’ll have your bank accounts taken in for evidence! I’ll see you thrown out of this school, you chiseller!
Panel three: Sgt. Howitzer becomes enraged as he begins to defend Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee sticks his hand out to prevent any physical altercation. Mr. Auberjonois begins to cower and back pedal.
Sgt. Howitzer: Sir! Commanding Officer Waldo Weatherbee is a man of incontestable honor! A man who I would gladly die for—and kill for if ordered!
Mr. Weatherbee: They’ll be no need for that, Sergeant Howitzer.
Page 2
Panel one: Mr. Auberjonois goes back to being smug as he regains his cool and straightens out his jacket as Mr. Weatherbee stands up from his desk.
Mr. Weatherbee: But I do find these unsubstantial allegations insulting.
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois points at a picture of Archie clipped on a folder file on the desk.
Mr. Auberjonois: The proof is in the pudding! Let me shadow this Archie Andrews. If he’s as accident prone as you claim, it will substantiate your claims and vindicate you!
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois has a smug smile on his face as he rubs his finger against his bushy mustache as Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer leer at him.
Mr. Auberjonois: Of course, once you’re proven the fraud, you’ll be relieved of your position, resulting in much needed changes to the faculty and renovations.
Mr. Weatherbee: A staff fitting your approval and renovations provided by your construction company, I take it.
Mr. Auberjonois: Just doing what I can for the children.
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer are bending down picking up the pages Mr. Auberjonois knocked down as he strides out of the office as he has his nose stuck up high in the air.
Mr. Weatherbee: Well, I suppose, if you insist…
Mr. Auberjonois: I do insist!
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer casually talk with one another as they collect all the scattered paper.
Howitzer: Sir, should I accompany Mr. Auberjonois to the danger zone, sir?
Mr. Weatherbee: No. I would hate for someone worthwhile to be caught in the line of fire.
Howitzer: Thank you, sir!
Page 3
Panel one: Archie is at his locker as he is having trouble opening it. In the background, Mr. Auberjonois is walking towards Archie as he is bumped into by Chunk.
Auberjonois thinking: So many miscreants. Now where is--
Archie: Darn locker! Always gets stuck!
Auberjonois thinking: That’s Archie Andrews.
Panel two: Archie is continuing to try and get his locker open as he is using both arms and one foot pressed against another locker to gain better leverage as Mr. Auberjonois is about right next to him, in direct path of where the locker door would go.
Auberjonois thinking: Hm. He’s obviously a dullard, easy to see why Weatherbee would take advantage of this poor, unfortunate—
Panel three: Archie uses all his strength to open the locker as the door swings back and rams into Mr. Auberjonois, causing a deep face indention into the locker.
Archie: GOT IT!!
Panel four: Archie looks on as Mr. Auberjonois falls to the ground with red and blue pain stars over his head and his eyes glazed over as he falls straight on his back with his arm and legs sticking up straight. Svenson is walking by with a small hammer as he notices the indentation Auberjonois’ face made as he prepares to hammer the locker back into form. In the background, Reggie is pointing and laughing at Mr. Auberjonois.
Archie: Gee, Mr. I’m sorry, mister! I didn’t know you were there!!
Auberjonois: …that’s okay…I like astronomy…red stars…blue stars…
Svenson: Yumpin’ liminey! Again vith the hammering for ol’ Svenson!
Page 4
Panel one: Archie is walking along as Mr. Auberjonois has a bandage wrapped around his head as he talks with Archie. Mr. Auberjonois is trying to hide his anger and disdain for Archie.
Archie: Wow! So the school board wants you to follow around a student to see how it is for us teens?
Auberjonois: Yes--we deeply care about you all and want to see that you get what you deserve.
Panel two: Veronica, Midge and Moose are walking up to Archie as Archie has small hearts over his head. Veronica is smiling and waving at Archie. Midge is right behind Veronica as she looks lovingly back at Moose.
Veronica: Archiekins! I just got an A on American History thanks to your tutoring. You deserve a reward!
Archie: A R-r-reward…?
Archie: Like…maybe a kiss?
Panel three: Veronica has her lips puckered up as Archie closes his eyes and leans in to kiss her. Walking by is Betty whose ponytail springs up in alert as she sees what is about to happen. Mr. Auberjonois looks on with disdain.
Veronica: Um-hmm.
Auberjonois: Hmph. Kissing in the hallway. They won’t be doing none of that in my ideal school!
Panel four: Veronica is pulled away from Archie as Archie still has his eyes closed as he does not know that he is kissing Midge who is wide-eyed with surprise. Moose looks on enraged.
Betty: Yoink!
Midge: ?
Panel five: Archie opens his eyes to see that he is kissing Midge. Midge motions with her eyes towards where Moose’s chest is as the rest of him is off panel.
Archie: !!!
Panel six: Archie looks up even more to see Moose enraged and about pummel Archie. In the background, a angry, cross armed Veronica is glaring at Betty who shrugs her shoulders in an “oops” type manner.
Moose: Duh! Yer kissin’ my girl!
Page 5
Panel one: Archie backs away as he nearly bumps into Auberjonois who is timid and has no idea what to do to stop the altercation.
Archie: Wait, Moose! Wait! It was an accident! I swear!!
Moose: Duh, and now you’re swearing in front of my sweetie!? Now yer really gonna get it!
Panel two: Archie ducks as Moose hits Mr. Auberjonois with a haymaker that knocks out of the panel and leaves only his shoes and socks left in the air.
Panel three: Coach Kleats and Coach Clayton are admiring the new trophy case at the end of a hallway as they admire it as all the trophies, medals, and plaques are shined up and sparkling.
Coach Clayton: I have to admit, this really is quite the sight!
Coach Kleats! It’s the greatest! This display will be here long after we’re gone, but our team and legacy will be remembered forever.
Panel four: Mr. Auberjonois rockets into the trophy case completely destroying it as Coach Clayton leaps on Coach Kleats to save him from shards of glass heading his way. Trophies, medals, wood, and glass spring everywhere.
Panel five: Coach Kleats is crying on Coach Clayton’s shoulder as they look at the wreckage that was the trophy display and the trophies as they all have been dented or broken and lying along the ground. In the heap of the trophy display a battered and bruised Auberjonois is barely conscious as he has a dented trophy on his head and several medals wrapped around his nose. Svenson is walking along and motions with his hands upward as he now has even more work to do.
Coach Kleats: Sniff Sniff
Coach Clayton: There, there, coach. Buck up. We still have the memories.
Page 6
Panel one: Archie is walking in his biology classroom as he holds the door open for Mr. Auberjonois whose clothes is even more torn and battered and his hair out of place. The wrapping around his head is being undone. Behind Archie near a lab table is a glass case filled with frogs. Auberjonois, with teeth gritted, glares at Archie hatefully.
Archie: I’m really sorry about that, sir!
Mr. Auberjonois: It’s all right. My spine absorbed the impact.
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois begins to back away from the class room as he notices the frogs in the case. Archie is walking along as he doesn’t notice a sign reading CAREFUL WET as the floor had just been cleaned. Archie is looking back as he continues his conversation.
Mr. Auberjonois: I…I’m going to make myself scarce. I’m allergic to frogs. Just one of those slimy creatures makes me break out in hives.
Archie: Really? I’ve never heard of being allergic to frogs.
Panel three Archie begins to slip and slide as he heads towards the table and the frog display.
Archie: Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey! Ah! Ah!
Panel four: Archie bumps into the table with enough force as it causes a the glass lid to pop open as the frogs leap out of the case and hop pass Archie. One of the frogs has a thought balloon of itself sitting on a log in the bayou playing a banjo.
Archie: Ommph!
SFX: pop
Frogs: ribbit ribbit!
Panel five: Archie turns around to see the frogs have landed on Mr. Auberjonois and he has broken out into hives as his face has swollen three times and his lips are puckered tight. Trula Twyst, Vic, Danny, and Chloe look on. Chloe is taking pictures of Mr. Auberjonois with her phone as she sticks her tongue out in disgust.
Archie: Hh. Now I’ve hear and seen someone allergic to frogs.
Page 7
Panel one: Mr. Auberjonois is sitting in the nurse’s office as his face is still swollen as Archie helps him sit down at the table. Ms. Armstrong (pretty blond nurse) is talking with Archie
Ms. Strongarm: My, Archie. What happened to this man? It looks like he was assaulted!!
Panel two: Archie accidentally steps on Mr. Auberjonois’ left foot as he walk towards Ms. Armstrong. Mr. Auberjonois winces in pain as it jolts from his foot to his spine and his fingers curl.
SFX: Crunch
Mr. Auberjonois: mmmphhhhrrr!!
Archie: Oh. He said he was allergic to frogs and he touched a few in my biology class.
Ms. Armstrong: Tsk tsk. Some people just think they’re invincible.
Panel three: Ms. Armstrong whispers into Archie’s ear as he nods.
Ms. Armstrong: A few shots should bring down the hives and swelling, but I need him relaxed and the size of the needles could stir him.
Archie: I’ll keep him distracted, Ms. Armstrong.
Panel four: Archie has a smile on his face as he talks with Mr. Auberjonois as Mr. Auberjonois glares at Archie. Ms. Armstrong is reaching into a drawer in the background.
Archie: Hey, Mr. Auberjonois! Want to hear about the time me and my family went to the Grand Canyon. It was great, we took pictures and met people and we even saw—
Panel five: Archie looks past Mr. Auberjonois as he sees the giant size needles that Ms. Armstrong is about to use to give a shot to a suddenly aware Mr. Auberjonois. The needle is a good ten inches long. Ms. Armstrong has his Mr. Auberjonois sleeve rolled up.
Archie: --The biggest needles I’ve ever seen in my life!!!
Auberjonois: Muh?
Panel six: Outside of the nurse’s office as Raj, Rob, and Shrill look towards the nurse’s office as Mr. Auberjonois screams in a pain and fear.
Mr. Auberjonois in the nurse’s office: MMMRRRHHHHHOOOWWW!!!
Page 8
Panel one: Archie is walking into the school library as Mr. Auberjonois is keeping his distance. He’s in even worse shape as his head is red, slightly swollen and his clothes are even more in a sad state. His hair is sticking straight up. He is not looking at Archie as he is looking and rubbing his arms where he had to get his shots from the school nurse. The double doors of the library door are about to hit Auberjonois.
Archie: I’m really sorry, Mr. Auberjonois! But the swelling has gone down!
Mr. Auberjonois: Yes. Those long, bone piercing shots really did the trick--!
Panel two: Archie looks ahead happily as he waves at Bobbi who is sitting at a table going over a text book; she waves back. The double doors swing back and hit Mr. Auberjonois right on the nose as he winces.
Archie: I like to come here during the free period and read a good book.
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois jolts behind a book shelf as he holds his nose and tries to get away from Archie. Archie looks on in confusion.
Mr. Auberjonois: Fine! Just do it far away from me!!
Panel four: Archie is walking away along the book shelves to the very last one at the end as Mr. Auberjonois peeks from his hiding place like the book shelf is a barrier protecting him from all harm.
Mr. Auberjonois: I don’t care what’s happened to me! The damages to the locker, the display case, the frog loss—it still proves nothing!!
Panel five: Mr. Auberjonois tries to fix up his tatter of a tie as he tries to regain his calm, arrogant disposition.
Mr. Auberjonois thinking: …Just little mishaps. Flukes. Weatherbee’s neck is in the noose and I’m going to see him dangle from it!
Page 9
Panel one: Archie is at the other end of the book shelves as he is reading The Wizard of Oz as he eyes go wide with what he is reading. Archie is leaning against the book shelf as it begins to wobble. Ms. Laurrette is walking past Archie as she carrying a copy of King Lear under her arm.
Archie thinking: Wow! The book is way different than the movie! I’ll have nightmares about the Tin Woodsman and that ax!
Panel two: The shelf begins to fall back and hit the other shelf to knock that one back as it begins a domino effect. Archie nearly falls backwards, but Ms. Laurrette grabs him and keeps him from falling back.
Archie: Aaah!
Ms. Laurette: Archie! Careful these old shelves are unsteady!
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois is dialing a number on his cellphone as he has his back turned and does not notice the books shelves falling over with his shelf being next. He has a thought balloon over his head where a cartoon version of Mr. Weatherbee is being kicked out of Riverdale High to help illustrate his hypocrisy.
Mr. Auberjonois: I’m going to call an emergency school board meeting and give out my fair and unbiased report….
Panel four: A shadow falls over Mr. Auberjonois as he looks resigned in his fate as he clicks off the cellphone.
Cellphone: Hello?
Mr. Auberjonois: (Sigh) Nevermind…
Panel five: Ms. Laurrette and Archie look ahead as they see Mr. Auberjonois get squashed by the book shelf off-panel. Ms. Laurrette’s face twists at what she sees as Archie winces as it looks so bad even he feels the pain.
Ms. Laurette: “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.” Erma Bobeck.
Archie: What does that mean, Ms. Laurette?
Ms. Laurette: Be grateful we’re on the safe side of the line.
Page 10
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is in his office as he is preparing to leave for the day when the phone on his desk begins to ring.
SFX rring rring
Mr. Weatherbee: I wonder who this could be?
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee answers the phone as he has a smile from ear to ear.
Phone: I’m just calling you to inform you that my investigation…is put on hold.
Mr. Weatherbee: Oh. Mr. Auberjonois, I heard about your accidents. I hope you’re feeling better.
Panel three: A shot of Mr. Auberjonois in his hospital bed as his arms and legs are in casts and on slings as his head is heavily bandaged. He has his cellphone leaned to his left ear as he tries to keep it to his face.
Mr. Auberjonois: Don’t be smug, Weatherbee! You and your little freckle face assassin haven’t seen the last of me!
Archie off-panel: Mr. Auberjonois, is that you…?
Panel four: Archie Andrews is walking into the hospital room as he is carrying a boutique of flowers that has several bees in it as Mr. Auberjonois goes wide eye with fear.
 Mr. Auberjonois: Oh no.
Archie: I’m really sorry what happened, so I came as soon as I could. I could buy any flowers, but I found these fresh ones that just smell great.
Archie: Here. Take a whiff.
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee begins to put the phone down as Mr. Auberjonois is screaming in agony on the other end.
The phone: The bees! The bees! They’re in my eyes! They’re in my eyes!! AHHHGG--!!
Mr. Weatherbee: I really need to remember days like this when Archie reports to my office.

Reviews / PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 2.2
« on: June 03, 2018, 01:11:48 PM »

Hm, pay sixty dollars for hog feed, 26 dollars for the church food bucket, and I was dumb enough to order my dad Taxi the complete series, which I did before the former two was sprung on me…
So it looks like my comics this month are at least the Power Rangers and…Batman or a Transformer comic. 
Well, it’s a good thing I’m a slow reader because here is The Blue Baron!!
The Good
Blowback. Our first serious villain. And he’s everything you want in a villain. I think the best bad guys are the ones who totally believe in what they are doing is right; that they are the victim and only seeking justice/revenge.
Blowback was pretty much a hero who did great work for his country but an oversight caused him to be turn into a nuclear monster trapped in a containment suit. He has an irrational hatred of Cedric Carson, channeling his anger and blame into him; and he is a threat.
While he is irrational on ending Carson, he’s smart. He defeats both Blue Ernie and Start-up. He’s also smart enough to see people close to Cedric and take them hostage. He’s gone through the valley and I’m loving it.
Writing I’ve already mentioned Blowback so let’s talk about the rest. While Blue Ernie is grating on my nerves, when the more childish moments come into play its fun. Like him not knowing how to kiss. Ernie Baron taking down the school bully in the same manner a hero saving the world would with the same gravitas was funny.
And we get some real emotional weight to the story. Blowback is a truly tragic character with an origin story that really makes you regret seeing that person turn into this monster. And seeing Max and Stacy thinking Cedric, their boss, friend, one of his lovers, is a coward was sad. Event the nerd clique gets a moment to shine where they actually—even scared—do offer to stand with Ernie Baron for the fight.
The art. Ron Frenz is still doing a great job. My favorite scenes are actually the high school because it looks and feels like a high school cafeteria. I love looking at all the kids and how then come from different ethnicities and their clothing. And page 11 is pretty fun too. And the inking and coloring to Blowback’s origin was well done. It really feels like Iraq and the various shades of green really hits home. And I love the Blue Baron logo when he’s introduced in the issue. It reminds me of the old Sonic The Hedgehog comic. The good one with the Freedom Fighters. Yeah, I don’t like Amy Rose. At all. Speaking of bad things…
The Bad
Ernie’s getting real annoying. Yeah, I’ve been reading an issue, jotting notes then reading the next issue and I have to say at this point, Ernie’s really grinding my gears! I mean, it totally makes sense, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t get on your nerves. Up until the last few pages it’s been two issues of him being a tool.
Wow. Another person I’m going to have to wait an issue to learn there name. Seriously, MILO, you couldn’t tell the blond girl’s name!? And I’m still waiting for Ernie’s dad’s name!! Why is my pet peeve being breeded??
Oh well, that happened. Yeah Blowback took Stacy, Max, and that dillweed Mr. Shilling off panel. Wouldn’t it have been great to see it? That seems like a really cool villain moment we missed out on. And to be fair, Blowback got a lot of good to him and you only have so many pages. Still, I’m of a “show don’t tell” person.
No Wanda. Once again, denied the Spider-Girl jokes and callbacks I crave! If I wanted to feel like this, I’d just go back to reading Marvel Comics. Ba-dum-dum-chee!!
What I learned from what I read.
 The Blue Baron IS a player.
  • Slater doesn’t fight fair.
  • Hey, it’s Milo!!
  • So right after “shaving” we can take “kissing” off of Ernie’s list of things he’s never done.
  • Mr. Shilling is a dillweed.
  • Chicks dig heroes.
  • Speedsters really need to not stand still in fights.
  • Blowback really, REALLY hates Cedric Carson.
  • If DZZZT is your favorite sound effect—this is the issue for you!!!
  • Isn’t it funny how a bad day is what creates villains and heroes? Also days that end in “y” coincidence…? I think not!
Yeah, it’s another good issue. Blue Ernie was kind of annoying—but he’s a teen. And he does have the most interesting stuff going on. Blowback is a cool villain with a great origin. The art’s as good as the other issue. There a still some minor things (WHAT IS THE DAD’S NAME?!?) but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t add up to a hill of beans. And honestly, if I wasn’t doing this issue by issue and just read the story through most of the little complaints disappear.
It’s a B+
What happens in the school yard brawl of death? Will Blue Ernie survive his battle against Blowback? Will I ever learn what the %$^& Ernie’s dad’s name is. I’m thinking at least we’ll get two out of three of those…NEXT TIME.

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