Re: Is It Just Me.... by Mr.Lodge
[Today at 06:31:28 am]
Re: Riverdale Reviewed by Tuxedo Mark
[March 16, 2019, 10:59:13 pm]
Re: Jughead in Twysting Hearts by PTF
[March 14, 2019, 03:33:43 pm]
Archie in Good Fences by PTF
[March 14, 2019, 03:32:03 pm]
Re: Lucy Hale cast as Katy Keene in Riverdale spin-off pilot by Tuxedo Mark
[March 13, 2019, 11:11:19 pm]
Re: What have you done today? by Archiecomicxfan215
[March 13, 2019, 09:54:40 pm]
Re: Snotgirl #1 by DeCarlo Rules
[March 06, 2019, 08:12:29 am]
Re: ARCHIE COMICS FOR MAY 2019 by DeCarlo Rules
[March 04, 2019, 03:39:52 pm]
Re: What comics have you been reading? by rusty
[February 24, 2019, 07:43:52 pm]
Re: JUGHEAD’S TIME POLICE returns to the future in June by DeCarlo Rules
[February 23, 2019, 12:22:08 am]
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Topics - PTF
Panel one: A shot of the inside of Ms. Grundy's classroom as she is being over dramatic as she is reading the end of the "Mending Wall" by Robert Frost as she has her desk up front separating her from the students. Jughead is sitting in the front roll and closest to the desk as he is reaching for an apple on Ms. Grundy's chest. Behind Jughead, Archie and Veronica are sitting along each other and giving it each lovey dovey eyes. Behind them both Reggie and Betty look on disapprovingly.
Ms. Grundy: "...And he likes having thought of it so well, He says again 'Good Fences make good neighbors.'"
Reggie thinking: Maybe if it's barbwire!
Panel two: Ms. Grundy turns back to her desk and is surprised to see that her apple is gone as class dismisses and leaves for the day. Jughead is throwing the left over apple into the trash as he leaves. Reggie is near the end of the line to leave as he looks ahead at Archie and Veronica holding hands. Betty is at her desk still putting books in her backpack.
Ms. Grundy: Ummm... Now, for tomorrow's discussion I want you each to share your thoughts on the meaning of Robert Frost's Mending Wall.
Reggie thinking: What's to discuss? The closer and more together you're with each other the more you'll dislike each other.
Panel three: Reggie has a thought balloon over his head. The light bulb is has a Snidely Whiplash moustache and wearing a black cape to show how it's a bad idea Reggie has just though up.
Reggie: Oh wicked little idea bulb, what horrendous light you elucidate...
Panel one: Betty is finally walking out of the classroom as Reggie is outside leaning against the nearby wall with his arms folded as he tries to act super cool and coy.
Reggie: So, Betts, you like Robbie Frost?
Betty: Um, "Robert Frost" and yes. And you? I didn't think of you as a poetry buff.
Panel two: Betty rolls her eyes as she walks ahead.
Reggie: I'm just buff in general, ponytail.
Panel three: Reggie walks up beside Betty as Betty is walking down the hallway.
Reggie: Also a genius because I just found a way for us to get what we both want!
Betty: And what's that?
Panel four: Betty is putting her textbooks in her locker as Reggie hugs himself as he thinks about him and Veronica being a couple.
Reggie: For me and Veronica to be the perfect, alpha, dominant couple of Riverdale...
Panel five: Reggie sticks his tongue out in disgust and waves off the thought of Archie as Betty gives the reader an aside glance.
Reggie: ...And you can pluck carrot top if you want him.
Betty: Wow. You're winning me over.
Panel one: Reggie is talking with Betty as Betty closes her locker.
Betty: Reggie, Veronica has Archie on a leash. It's impossible to separate them.
Panel two: Reggie cups his hands and locks his finger as Betty is confused.
Reggie: That's the thing! We keep them together! White on rice level all the time!
Betty: What?! I'm not giving Veronica whatever few date nights I can scrounge!
Panel three: Reggie is explaining as Betty listens intently.
Reggie: It's like the poem said "Good fences make good neighbors."
Reggie: Well, Archie is a clumsy, poor clod and Veronica is snobbish, arrogant, and demanding! It won't take long to drive each other nuts!
Panel four: A close up on Betty as she has her conscience on her right shoulder as they both listen.
Reggie off-panel: And when the fighting starts, we swoop in and tie the red strings of love where they should be. Veronica to me, and...I don't know why...Archie with you.
Panel five: Betty's conscience whispers into Betty's ear as Betty nods her head as she smiles.
Reggie off-panel: We don't even need to sabotage them, they'll do it themselves.
Panel six: Reggie scratches the back of his head as Betty is all smiles and holds out her hand for a handshake as Reggie shakes it with his other hand. Reggie has a thought balloon of a nut over his head.
Betty: We've decided that we find your plan acceptable to our moral compass.
Panel one: Archie nearly slips into his locker and hits his head as Reggie walks up to him as he pops his collar and has the fakes smile ever on his face.
Reggie: I've got some good news for you, Red.
Archie: CTE is easily curable?
Panel two: Reggie shoots Archie a double thumbs up as Archie rubs his throbbing forehead.
Reggie: I've decided that you and Veronica--man, she's yours.
Archie: Really? Just like that? This isn't a trick or scheme?
Panel three: Reggie has his hands behind his back as he has ever finger possible crossed. He even crosses both of his thumbs. Archie is none the wiser as he has a giant smile on his face as he gives Reggie a slap to the shoulder.
Reggie: Hey, I can't deny it any longer. You and Ronnie are destiny. Can't fight destiny.
Archie: Wow! One less guy to worry about! That's a load off my mind! Thanks, Reg. You're not as bad as everyone says!
Panel four: A jubilant Archie runs down the hall as a sneering Reggie looks on.
Reggie: That's what Superman said when Lex Luthor invited him over to check out his new green rock collection.
Panel one: Betty is walking up to Veronica is looking into her locker mirror and fixing her lipstick as she half pays her any attention. In the hallway at their own locker or talking with one another is Maria, Ethel, Chloe, and Sheila Wu as they are just casually going about their day.
Betty: Veronica! I've come to wave the white flag and concede defeat.
Veronica: That's nice Bettykins. Please go on, it's so interesting.
Panel two: Veronica's raises her head and she is completely shocked by what she is hearing as Betty rolls her eyes and twiddles her thumbs as she has trouble saying what she's saying.
Betty: ...You win. You and Archie...He's yours.
Panel three: Veronica strides to the middle of the hallway and motions for all the girls in the hallway to gather around her. Maria has a sash, Ethel has a small basket of rice, Chloe has her camera ready, and Sheila Wu is running towards Veronica with a tiara.
Veronica: Everyone! It's happened! It's finally happened!
Veronica: Quick! Like we've rehearsed!
Panel four: Veronica is in full arrogant mode as she pulls Betty towards her as Betty looks on unhappily. Maria is putting a sash reading A #1 Choice around Veronica while Sheila Wu is putting on the tiara as Ethel is throwing confetti around Veronica as Chloe takes pictures of Veronica to document the historic event. Veronica is blowing kisses to the students gathering around.
Betty: It's amazing how humble you are in victory.
Veronica: I know! I'm so gracious! Look at me share this moment with everyone!
Panel one: Reggie and Betty are outside of Riverdale High as they watch Archie and Veronica walk off together hand in hand. Betty is wearing a second place sash around her as she complains as Reggie sticks a finger down his throat.
Betty: --And then came the runner up ceremony!
Reggie: Hey, I had to pretend to be nice. I nearly became physically ill...
Panel two: In the background, Reggie and Betty as they look on. Archie and Veronica are rubbing noses as they walk away hand in hand in the foreground.
Reggie: ....but it'll be worth it once those two get sick of each other and they come looking for the cure!
Panel three: Reggie turns to Betty as Betty still is wearing the second place sash.
Reggie: Betts, why are you still wearing that?
Panel four: Betty smiles slightly as she looks it over and she looks on the positive side of things. Reggie face palms.
Betty: Well, Runner-up isn't too bad and they all worked hard and I even got to make a speech and the ceremony had my favorite cake.
Reggie: (Sigh) In a dog eat dog world, she builds animal shelters.
Panel five: Archie and Veronica have their heads resting on each other as they happily walk away from Riverdale High.
Veronica: Isn't it wonderful, Archiekins. The war is over and our love is true.
Archie: And nothing can ever separate us.
Page 7 (Eight Panels the left side (Odd number panels represents Archie's trouble with dating Veronica, the right represents Veronica's troubles with dating Archie)
Panel one: Archie and Veronica are in a fancy restaurant as a waiter is waiting for Archie to pay the bill as Archie hands over all the money in his wallet as a lone moth ways goodbye to the departing money.
Panel two: Veronica is frustrated that Jughead has horned in on her date with Archie in the Chocklit Shop as she has her hands reaching for Jughead's neck as Jughead pushes in between the two.
Panel three: Archie is half asleep as he is waiting for Veronica to finish up in a shoe store as she has a large stack of shoes that she has tried on as the shoe salesman looks like he's about to faint as he puts on another shoe for Veronica to admire.
Panel four: Veronica and Archie are back in the restaurant from panel one only a pizza delivery boy is handing Archie a pizza as an embarrassed Veronica uses her hair to cover her face.
Panel five: In the Lodge Mansion, Archie and Veronica are kissing as Mr. Lodge is towering over Archie. Archie rolls his eyes and looks up worriedly at Mr. Lodge while he is still kissing Veronica.
Panel six: Veronica is upset as she looks at all the damage Archie has done to a trophy room of hers as he points down at a banana peel as the culprit.
Panel seven: In a movie theater, Archie is unhappy with the movie he and Veronica are watching as twirls the straw to his drink around. Veronica isn't even watching the movie as she is too busy tweeting on her phone. Behind them in disguise is Reggie and Betty wearing trench coats and hats.
Panel eight: A continuation as Archie's accidentally causes the drink to swirl and burst out the lid as it lands right on the back of Veronica's neck startling her as a wide eyed Archie looks on. Reggie and Betty fist bump as everything is going as they planned.
Panel one: Reggie and Betty are ducking behind a bush in Pickens Park as they see an arguing Archie and Veronica walking towards them.
Reggie whispering: Get down! I think the moment we are waiting for is finally going to happen!
Veronica: I can't believe you can be such a clod! You ruined my blouse!
Archie: Aw, you have a million of them! And it's soda! It'll clean! Stop being a snob!
Panel two: Archie and Veronica are pointing fingers at each other as they stand in front of the bush.
Veronica: How dare you call me a snob!
Archie: You called me a clod!
Veronica: I want an apology!
Archie: Ladies first!
Panel three: Archie and Veronica both turn away from each other, close their eyes, and fold their arms across their chests as they both are stubborn.
Veronica: Archie Andrews, I don't want to hear a word from you! Not a word!
Archie: Well that goes double for me!!
Panel four: Reggie and Betty stick their heads out as Betty focuses on Veronica and Reggie focuses on Archie.
Reggie: Two Words.
Panel five: Reggie and Betty stick their heads back down behind the bush as Archie and Veronica turn towards each other with snarls and harsh glares.
Veronica and Archie: I HEARD THAT!!
Panel one: Veronica is waving her arms in the air as she goes over how frustrated she is with Archie.
Veronica: How dare you! I have never been so angry and miserable in my life! And what's worse is how unapologetic you are!
Veronica: Especially since your best friend ruins our dates--or you ruin our dates with your poor, clumsy, boorish ways!
Panel two: Veronica sticks her nose in the air as she arrogantly continues to chide Archie as Archie's face turns red as he tries to control his anger.
Veronica: Hmph. You would think a person of your status would throw himself to the ground and give praise that some like myself even gives you the time of day.
Panel three: Archie quips back at Veronica as Veronica breaks her act and goes wide eyed.
Archie: I wish you could give me all the time I wasted on you!
Panel four: Archie begins to count the ways Veronica is a poor date as Veronica becomes angry to the point a vein is popping on her forehead.
Archie: All the time I had to waste while you tried on a gazillion clothes and shoes that you don't need and those horrible movies you drag me too and don't even watch!
Veronica: Watch yourself, Archibald--
Panel five: Archie pulls out his pockets to show them empty as he continues his rant. Veronica is getting even angrier as her face is red and she balls her fists.
Archie: And that's not even talking about the money! 50 dollars for a lobster!! I can't even rub two pennies together.
Archie: Oh, and let's not forget how pigheaded you are! And that temper! Hooboy!!
Panel one: Veronica flicks Archie on is forehead as he winces in pain.
Veronica: That does it!
Panel two: Archie retaliates as he flicks Veronica on her forehead.
Archie: Oh yeah!
Panel three: A shot from behind the bush as Reggie and Betty are trying not to laugh out loud at Archie and Veronica's argument. Veronica is furiously waving her arms in the air as Archie rolls his eyes.
Veronica: How dare you, you brute!
Veronica: I am a lady! I am a Lodge!
Panel four: Archie quips back at Veronica as Veronica prepares to flick his forehead again.
Archie: The later sure, but the former is debatable.
Veronica: Why you--!!
Panel five: Veronica and Archie begin to flick each others forehead as Archie starts using both hands.
SFX: FLICK FLICK FLICK
Veronica: Take this!
Archie: Oh yeah! You take this and that!
Panel six: Archie is overwhelming Veronica as Veronica tires tries to shield her head with her arms as Archie continues his assault.
SFX: FLICK FLICK FLICK
Veronica: Stop it!
Archie: Hah! Never!
Panel seven: Veronica kicks Archie right on his right kneecap as Archie's eyes light up in pain and his jaw drops.
Veronica: I said knock it off!!
Panel one: Archie is jumping up and down on one foot as he clutches his kneecap in pain as he heads towards Veronica's right foot. Veronica doesn't notice as she's too busy posing in victory. She has her left hand fingers doing the "V for victory pose" and her right doing the "L for loser pose" Except now it means Veronica Lodge together.
Archie: Ow Ow Ow!
Veronica: Let that be a lesson to you for going up against a Lodge! A Lodge is a titan! A Lodge is dominant! A Lodge is invincible!
Panel two: Archie accidentally hops on Veronica's right foot as she bites her lower lip and her eyes water up in pain.
Panel three: Veronica is jumping up and down on one foot like Archie and both are circling back towards each other and about to bump heads.
Veronica: Yow Yow Yow!
Archie: Ow Ow Ow!
Panel four: Archie and Veronica stop just inches form bumping into each other as the look at one another and see how ridiculous both look.
Panel five: Archie and Veronica begin to laugh.
Veronica: Ha-Hah! Archiekins...we look and sound so silly!
Archie: Heh Heh! I know!
Panel six: Archie takes Veronica by the hands and apologizes as Veronica rests her head against Archie's chest as she is sorry as well.
Archie: ...Ronnie, I know I haven't been the best boyfriend. I'm clumsy and I let Jug barge in on our dates, and I don't have the money to treat you like the princess you are.
Veronica: No, no! It's me! I make everything about me and what I want. And I know you go far and beyond your means to make me happy. And I have such a dreadful temper.
Panel seven: Archie wraps his arms around Veronica as they walk away as a lost for words Betty and Reggie stand up in disbelief at what they are seeing.
Archie: I think your temper tantrums are cute, lamb's lettuce.
Veronica: And I love when you trip and fall, love bunny.
Reggie: ...I don't believe it!
Panel one: Reggie yells at Betty as Betty puts her hands on her chest as she is shocked he's blaming her.
Reggie: I can't believe you blew this! All this time wasted because you didn't seize the moment when it happened!!
Betty: Me?!! I didn't see you do anything!!!
Panel two: Betty yells at Reggie as Reggie sticks her tongue out at her.
Betty: This was just another one of your stupid plans that brew from your stupid head and seeps through your stupid mouth!
Reggie: Oh yeah!?
Panel three: Archie and Veronica turn back as Betty is sticking her tongue out while making a face at Reggie as Reggie responds with pulling his lips down and making a face to compete against her.
Reggie: Is that so!
Archie: Wow. With all the time they'd been spending together recently, I thought they would last.
Veronica: (Sigh) Well, not everyone can fit so well together as us.
Boy, am I glad these Sitcomics are cheap--since I'm now out an extra hundred and eighty dollars every month. Because old people get sick and ruin everything for younger people. But hey, maybe reading and reviewing this comic will cheer me up.
When we last left our body swapped protagonists, Ernie is unprepared to run a corporation, other heroes now doubt the Blue Baron as being sane, and one of Blue Baron's strongest allies is in a coma. Carson Cedric finds Ernie's parents more and more coming down on him, feeling more and more helpless. So how can things go worse? Let's find out as I review BLUE BARON 3.1!
The Writing: Another strong showing from Darin Henry as he's doing a great job of introducing new characters (villains and heroes alike) while also showing the reaction everyone has to Cedric Carson/Blue Baron with Ernie in his body. People working for him thinks he's lost his mind and the heroes are between thinking he's being manipulated or just a plain liability. And we got consequences to both as Ernie is costing Cedric millions, employees, and his spot on the Hero Union.
And the humor is still there with Cedric deciding to just mess with the shrink his parents send him to and the end result of the session. I like The Clique and how they interacted and bounced off quips on each other. And they all have interesting powers and are relatable. Okay, one of the Clique is named "Teacher's pet." Take a guess what her personality and powers are. Stuff like that just makes me smile.
And there is really touching scene where Ernie Baron visits Max and just feeling helpless as his friend is fighting for his life and there's nothing he can do. And there is Wanda and Roberto (YES! HE HAS A NAME) as their son seems like a totally different person and they don't know what to do.
And I like the introduction to Professor Wraith as William Wharton falls to madness as he seeks to understand evil and how it relates to heroism. I'm a sucker for characters like this. It's a nice origin.
For around nineteen pages we get a great story that covers a lot of ground while having distinct characters and dialogue and continuing to advance storylines for future issues in inventive and swift decisions. Lord knows a few other writes could learn from this coughIDWTMNTcoff
The art. Yeah, another great job by Ron Frenz with ink by Sal Buscema. The action scenes are great and there's great motion in each panel. From Honcho and Windfall fighting villains to Bully and Class Clown playing a prank on Blue Baron. Each character's personality shines. Honcho wears a suit that consists of sponsors and a camera rig with super inflated hero poses as he fights. Bully of the clique pretty much moves how I would think a kid hero named Bully would. For the introduction to the Clique, you could take out all the word balloons and you would know each character's personality by how they slouch, sit, or tilt there head.
I love all the costume designs. Professor Wraith looks menacing. The Clique and their costumes really work with their code name. Bully's costume is my favorite (hint, think a popular video game from a few years back)
And the inking really does a great job with facial expressions. Best seen when Wharton succumbs to the evil tomes and insanity.
Lettering and coloring is also great as usual with Dillon and Whitmore. It's amazing how boring word balloons have gotten and how excited I get to see one stretch out with a "noooo" or explode with rage.
Super Sleepy. Cute lil' one page story.
Ernie. He's probably at his worse here as he's mouthing off, rushing head long into fights, and annoying every character he comes in contact with. Again, this is just part one of the third issue, so this will probably be addressed, but I felt a fair warning for those readers who hate annoying kids. Which begs the question, why are you on an Archie Comics fan message board?
A rare Glenn Whitmore mistake. Page eighteen Blue Ernie has grabbed Bully by his jacket, but the way it's colored it looks like Blue Baron's levitating him. The lesson: no one is perfect.
Class Clown. He's not a clown. He's a mime! Clowns and mimes are totally different! Clowns are funny/scary, Mimes are just annoying.
What I learned.
Roberto is the name of Ernie's dad. ...You people have no idea how long not knowing his name has been bothering me.
It's a good first part. Ernie is kicked out of the Hero Union and looking for a new team (kids his age, but with one big problem), Cedric being shut out of his own life as he watches it crumble around him, and a new villain. I'll go B+
And I'm starting a new program. Where you guys send me comics you have bought and I review them and tell you if you made the right decision. If this works out well, I'll expand it to movies, music, and food. Revolutionary concept. So be in on the ground floor.
Panel one: It is the middle of a snow as Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Reggie are walking towards The Chocklit Shoppe. Archie, Betty, and Reggie, are wearing heavy winter coats while Veronica is wearing much less protective coat more for style than to battle the elements. Betty is talking with Veronica as Veronica waves her off, while flipping her hair. Archie and Reggie are looking at Veronica with hearts over their heads that are evaporating snowflakes that land on them. On the buildings along the street, are icicles of enormous size. In the background, some kids are making a snowknight, putting a bucket on a snowman and giving him a giant icicle for a sword. A much bigger bully kid is laughing at them while preparing to throw a snowball.
Betty: Ronnie, it's twenty degrees and snowing--don't you think that attire isn't going to cut it?
Ronnie: Pish-posh, Bettykins. It's only a tad nippy. Nothing to worry about. Especially when one can make a fashion statement.
Panel two: A cold, snowy wind blows over the four with Archie, Betty, and Reggie shivering while Veronica turns blue and her teeth begin tattering as she is taking it much worse.
Panel three: Veronica dashes inside of the Chocklit Shoppe as Betty smiles as a confused Archie looks on. Reggie is tucking at his collar. Unnoticed by the cast, the snowknight has been brought to life and is chasing the bully from panel one. The knight's bucket has bits of the snowball on it.
Archie: So what exactly is her fashion statement?
Betty: "I'm getting hypothermia, I need to find shelter."
Panel one: Archie, Betty, Veronica and Reggie are at a table as Pop hands them their food (burgers and fries) as he looks over at Veronica. Veronica is wearing a bulky tattered coat as glares over at Betty as Betty tries to hold back a snicker. Next to Veronica is Archie as he notices a moth flying from the coat. Reggie is sitting next to Betty as he looks over to see Midge walking by and blows her a kiss as Midge puts her three fingers over her mouth as if to stop from throwing up.
Pop Tate: Nice hot burgers for the teens of the frozen tundra we call Riverdale.
Pop Tate: And sorry, Veronica. The coat's all I had laying around.
Veronica: Not a peep from you, Cooper.
Veronica: Or that.
Panel two: Veronica is leaning her head on Archie's shoulder as Archie talks with her. In the background Moose is walking past them.
Veronica: Oh, Archiekins, when will this horrid cold weather disperse?
Archie: From what my weather app said, this is the warm days this winter.
Panel three: Betty is talking. Reggie has his hands clamped over his mouth as Moose and Midge walk together, with Moose giving Reggie the stink eye.
Betty: That's no good. My home's A/C is already freezing up now.
Panel four: Reggie leans forward as he decides to take control the talk Betty rolls her eyes in response to Reggie.
Reggie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're poor and freezing to death. But what about me? I nearly slipped on some ice. I could have twisted my ankle or stubbed my toe, then what??
Jughead off-panel: We root for the groundhog to see his shadow.
Panel one: Archie and the gang are shocked to see Jughead standing in front of their table as he is wearing summer clothes, a tank top, shorts, and flip flops. Jughead is reaching over to grab one of Veronica's french fries as she glares at him.
Betty: Jughead! What are you wearing?
Jughead: A smile on my face and a song in my heart.
Panel two: Veronica moves over as Jughead begins to sit down. Jughead reaches over and grabs Veornica's plate of French friends.
Veronica: You're a nut. This just confirms it. You are insane.
Jughead: I like to think me deciding to sit next to you is more of a lapse is judgment.
Jughead: Oh, and nice coat. Katy Keene?
Panel three: Archie talking with Jughead as he just shrugs his shoulders. Veronica flicks a french fry at Jughead, but he reaches over with his right hand to snatch it.
Archie: What she means is, it's twenty degrees and coming a snow storm, Jug. And you're dressed like you're at the beach.
Archie: Aren't you cold?
Panel four: Jughead continues to eat as the others are startled by his
Jughead: Eh, I don't think about the temperature one way or the other.
Panel one: An excited Betty is talking as she thinks she understands how Jughead can take freezing weather so easily. Reggie just sneers.
Betty: I get it!
Betty: Mind over matter! He's not thinking about the cold, so he's not cold!
Panel two: Reggie points a finger at Jughead as Jughead finishes the last of Veronica's fries much to her annoyance as Archie cozies up to her and tries to keep her calm.
Reggie: Mind over matter only works if you have enough mind to actually matter!
Panel three: Jughead stands up feigning being insulted.
Jughead: I don't have to take this! I came all the way to be with my dearest friends and mooch a free meal, not to be insulted...
Panel four: Jughead is walking away as he has grabbed Veronica's burger. Veronica looks like she's about to get up and pounce on Jughead as Archie barely holds her back.
Jughead: ...So I'll just settle for a brief chit-chat and carry out.
Panel five: Jughead, at the door to The Chocklit Shoppe, is eating the burger as a shivering bundled up Ethel is beginning to enter as a giant snowy wind envelops her.
Ethel: J-J-Jugg-gg-i-ee....I-I-I can't feel my nose...
Panel six: Jughead just casually walks past her into the snow without a second though leaving Ethel dumbfounded.
Jughead: Who makes a point to feel their nose?
Panel one: Betty is scolding Reggie as Reggie snorts his nose.
Betty: Reggie, I think you hurt his feelings.
Reggie: That was the intention.
Panel two: Reggie talking as he slams his fists on the table, knocking his French fries and burger into the air.
SFX: BAM BAM
Reggie: You guys are acting like he's smart because he's not thinking about being cold! Einstein didn't become a genius by not thinking!
Panel three: Archie is talking as Veronica agrees.
Archie: Maybe he is thinking. I've heard if you picture tropical islands, hot cocoa, you do feel warm.
Veronica: I've seen it. One of daddy's business partners had a stitch put in his heart and after was always cold, even in room temperature.
Veronica: He saw a specialist and by picturing an island, he's fine.
Panel four: Reggie is standing up and slamming his jacket down on the table as it causes vibrations that nearly knock over and spill plates of food and drinks.
Reggie: If that closed eyed goof and some guy with a weak ticker can do it, so can Reggie Mantle!
Panel one: Reggie is at the door as he begins to take of his gloves and scarf.
Reggie: Think warm. Simple enough for a simpleton, so no problem for me.
Panel two: A close up on Reggie's closed eyes.
Panel three: Reggie opens his eyes wide as each have a different image in the pupil. His right eye has an image of a fire and the other has an image of a desert complete with cow skull sweating.
Panel four: Reggie runs out the door as he is sweating profusely. Several people in winter clothes look on shocked at Reggie.
Reggie: Wow! I need some air! It's too darn hot!
Panel one: Reggie is imaging himself on an island as he begins to take off his shirt.
Reggie: Now this is more like it!
Reggie: I can't believe that this mind over matter junk actually works!
Panel two: Back to reality as a shirt less and barefoot Reggie skips past Chuck and Nancy as they look at him like he's crazy as the snow storm intensifies.
Reggie singing: Sunshine...sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy...!
Panel three: Back to Reggie's fantasy as he is covering himself in sand as he happily smiles to himself.
Reggie: This is great! I've never felt so good!
Panel four: Still on the imaginary island as Jughead holding two ice cream cones is casually walking up to Reggie
Jughead: So, Reg, how's tricks?
Reggie: No tricks, dweeb. My glorious, brilliant mind. I'm thinking of warmth, and I'm nice and toasty. Almost as perfect as I am.
Panel five: Jughead hands Reggie the extra ice cream cone.
Jughead: That's nice. You scream for ice cream?
Reggie: Don't mind if I do.
Panel one: Reggie is taking a lick of the ice cream as he has a giant smile on his face.
Reggie: Ah, nothing beats cold ice cream on a hot day.
Panel two: Reggie' eyes begin to enlarge as he begins to think about winter.
Reggie: Cold like ice cream, cold like ice, cold like winter, cold like...cold like!...
Panel three: Reggie's imaginary island shatters as reality begins to overtake it as Reggie begins to turn blue and his nose begins to have icicles down it.
Panel four: Reggie is leaping out the snow bank he was imagining was sand as he is bright blue and freezing as Jughead casually looks on as he catches the stray ice cream cone as it escapes from Reggie's open palm. Several bystands look on. In the background the snow knight is in front of the kids raising his sword in victory.
Reggie: LIKE ME!!!
Reggie: I'M FREEZING!!!
Panel one: Jughead looks on as Reggie is running down the street with arms wrapping over his chest and bent over as he plows past several people. Behind Jughead, Archie, Betty, and Veronica are walking up to Jughead as they miss seeing Reggie.
Archie: Jug, I thought I heard Reggie scream. Is something wrong with him?
Jughead: There's something right with him?
Panel two: Jughead extends an ice cream cone as Archie, Betty, and Veronica react to it like it's a knife as they shiver and try to pull their coats and jackets tighter around them as if to protect themselves
Jughead: Rocky road. My treat. Any taker?
Betty: Um...I think we'll pass. Thanks.
Panel three: Jughead is walking away as he is licking both ice cream cones as several people look at Jughead in confusion. In the background, Archie, Betty, and Veronica are rubbing their hands together to get warm after just seeing the ice cream. On the street, the snowknight is running for its life as a snowplow chases after it. On the snow plow "THE DRAGON' is painted on the side.
Jughead: "Think". That's their problem. They put way too much thought into everything.
August 12, 2018, 01:57:58 pm
Panel one: Archie is in detention as Mr. Weatherbee is watching the class. It is only Archie with Jughead in the background writing "I will not eat during class" with one hand while using the other to eat a kielbasa. Archie has his head resting on the chair as he frowns.
Mr. Weatherbee: Scowl all you want, Archie, but it's your own fault for amassing the tardies.
Panel two: Archie raises his head up as Archie uses his hands and fingers to motion in different directions about how his schedule and classes are set up and where in Riverdale they are from one another.
Archie: But it's not fair! One period I have class in the main building, but the next is all the way in the auxiliary building to the right, then downs stairs on the left and back and upstairs...
Archie: ...And that's not factoring getting and putting books in my locker in the downstairs main building and bathroom breaks! Plus the halls are crowded!
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee waves off Archie's objections as Archie rolls his eyes as Mr. Weatherbee gloats.
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie, all factors are taken into your schedule and classes. You just dilly dally. I faced the same problems as a lad and I was never late for class once...
Mr. Weatherbee: In fact, I bet I could get to your classes in record time.
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee yells and points at Archie as Archie tries to play innocent.
Mr. Weatherbee: I saw that, Mr. Andrews!
Archie: Saw?! Saw what?!
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee points at his eyes with two fingers.
Mr. Weatherbee: You rolling your eyes like that lone marble inside of your head!
Panel three: Archie tries to ease the argument but Mr. Weatherbee folds his arms.
Archie: I'm sorry, sir, but I don't see how you can handle going class to class because of you're...
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee waves his arms in the air as he yells at Archie.
Mr. Weatherbee: Because I'm too old?? Out of shape?? Is that it?!
Panel five: Archie innocently nods his head as Mr. Weatherbee gives the reader an aside glace.
Archie: Yes, exactly. Glad you understand so I didn't have to say it out loud.
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee slams a piece of paper and a pen down on Archie's desk as Archie looks on dumbfounded.
Mr. Weatherbee: I'll prove my point! Jot down your schedule for tomorrow.
Panel two: Archie is talking to Mr. Weatherbee as he becomes even more flustered.
Archie: But, sir, I'll be leaving on a field trip tomorrow.
Mr. Weatherbee: And your point being?
Panel three: Archie continues to write down his schedule as he has his tongue sticking out to the left of his face as he focuses on it. Mr. Weatherbee's eyes light up in surprise.
Archie: That I won't be here to see how you do.
Mr. Weatherbee: !!!
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee is yelling at Archie as Archie leans back as far as possible as Mr. Weatherbee gets in his face.
Mr. Weatherbee: I'll have you know I'm an honorable, trustworthy man! Or are you saying otherwise?
Archie: I will never say the o-word ever again, sir.
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee snatches the paper from Archie's desk as he motions for Archie and Jughead to leave.
Mr. Weatherbee: Good.
Mr. Weatherbee: Time is up. You boys head on out, and I hope not to see you in this room ever again.
Jughead: That's what I like about The Bee, Arch. He's a dreamer.
Panel six: Mr. Weatherbee smirks as he examines the list.
Mr. Weatherbee thinking: Hah! Some Herculean task! Merely a hop, skip, jump away each!
Mr. Weatherbee thinking: A waste of my precious time for sure, but it will eliminate this particular excuse from Archie's repertoire.
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is in the main hall way as various students are standing around and talking. Mr. Weatherbee has his briefcase with him as he looks on confidently.
Mr. Weatherbee: There. In the main hallway at the lockers. A fair starting point!
Panel two: The bell suddenly rings as Mr. Weatherbee begins to prepare to move as all the students stop what they are doing as they all look frantic.
Panel three: It turns into a stampede as Mr. Weatherbee is caught in the middle of a wave of student as he is taken quickly by surprise at the morning rush and is falling backwards.
Mr. Weatherbee: Awck! Hey! File into a single line! A single line!!
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee is on his back with several footprints on his person to show how badly get go ran over. Next to Mr. Weatherbee is his briefcase as it has been knocked open with his papers and folders trampled and scattered everywhere.
Mr. Weatherbee: A small delay at best.
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee runs to Ms. Ashton's door as he is panting profusely.
Mr. Weatherbee: (pant pant)
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee looks his watch to see he is a minute late.
Mr. Weatherbee: Late?!
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee begins to stretch as Svenson is sweeping away a giant pile of garbage with his broom as he looks over at Mr. Weatherbee with a thought balloon of an acorn over his head.
Mr. Weatherbee: ...Well, that's understandable! I didn't stretch. My joints locked up on me. I have to forget I'm not the man I used to be!
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee is getting a drink of water from a water fountain as he continues to talk.
Mr. Weatherbee: Water. Just what I need. I'll just be sure to get a small sip at each one like a runner would a marathon and I'll be in perfect shape start of next period!
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee is going up a set of stairs as he is panting heavily as he looks like he wants to collapse. Behind him is Reggie, Chuck, Trula Twyst, Sherry, and Sayid. Reggie is whispering to Chuck as Chuck responds. Trula Twyst is reading a book while Sherry is showing Sayid a picture on her smart phone and shoving it right into his face as he smiles at her while moving his head away.
Mr. Weatherbee: Huff Puff
Panel six: An embarrassed Mr. Weatherbee waves goodbye to the students behind him as the bell rings for the next class. Each student has an exemption slip. Reggie reads his slip outloud as Chuck just shrugs his shoulders.
Mr. Weatherbee: There. Give these exemption slips to your teachers.
Reggie: "Late because of influx of gravity."
Chuck: Mine says, "too many steps not enough pep."
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is running down stairs as students move out of his way as best they can with Dilton running like Indiana Jones from the boulder.
Mr. Weatherbee: Hah! Now gravity is my ally! My best friend!
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee runs into a hallway as Prof. Flutesnoot tries to talk to him.
Prof. Flutesnoot: Mr. Weatherbee! I was hoping to see you to discuss plans for--
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee runs past Flutesnoot as Flutesnoot looks on in confusion.
Mr. Weatherbee: I won't be late to class this time!
Prof. Flutesnoot: ?
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee is running past a bathroom as he has a smile ear to ear.
Mr. Weatherbee: Hah! Got into the groove on the very last period! This should be good enough to prove to Archie...
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee suddenly stops
Mr. Weatherbee: !!
Panel six: A shot of the boys bathroom as the bell rings signaling for class.
Mr. Weatherbee in bathroom: Drat!!
Panel one: Archie is getting off the school bus from his field trip as Mr. Weatherbee is waiting for him. Archie is walking up to greet him as Mr. Weatherbee is hesitant to go into detail. Behind Archie is Betty and Veronica fighting to be the next one off the bus to follow after Archie.
Archie: Hello, Mr. Weatherbee. How did you do going from class to class?
Mr. Weatherbee: (cough cough) Perhaps I...I underestimated your schedule a smidgen/
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee smiles as he puts a hand on Archie's shoulder as he
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie, come to my office and I will have Ms. Philips rearrange your classes things more favorably.
Panel three: Archie is reluctant as Mr. Weatherbee holds rubs his chin as he comes up with an idea.
Archie: Gee, sir. As rough as my schedule is...I really like my teachers and everyone in my classes.
Mr. Weatherbee: I see...
Mr. Weatherbee: I may have another solution to your dilemma.
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is on monitor duty as he smiles as Archie steps out of the school elevator as he smiles and waves at Mr. Weatherbee.
Mr. Weatherbee: How goes it, Archie?
Archie: Actual minutes early! It's great!
Mr. Weatherbee: Well, don't let me slow you down, young man.
Panel two: Archie heads towards Miss Grundy's classroom and goes inside as he waves goodbye to Mr. Weatherbee. Betty and Veronica are looking at Archie as both look at him enviously.
Veronica: Betty, why does Archiekins get to use the school elevator?
Mr. Weatherbee thinking: Because yesterday I walked in Archie's shoes...
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee's knees are aching as he uses the wall to help him stay up right and move to help illustrate his logic.
Mr. Weatherbee thinking: ...And if I have to do it again, It'll be with as few steps as possible!!
Reggie in Let's Play.
Panel one: The setting is Riverdale High as Reggie is standing next to the high school trophy case as he is trying to showcase the trophies he's won to Tomoko and Bobbi. They turn to him as Tomoko has her phone out as a video is playing.
Reggie: --And that's how I won state. I mean, yeah, I had "teammates" but hey, superheroes have sidekicks, am I right?
Tomoko's phone: Okay, this looks like--aaaahhhyyyeaaah!
Panel two: Bobbi and Tomoko go back to looking at her phone as teen has dyed his hair bright green as he is doing a Let's Play video. A small box of him as he smiles is at the top right corner as we see his character successfully unlock a chest containing a map. Reggie is in the background fuming at being annoyed as he moves his arms along the trophy case.
Mikeylator on Tomko's phone: Finally! We've gotten the last map, now to find the real treasure--next installment!
Tomoko: Hah! Those jumpscares are amazing!
Panel three: Bobbi and Tomko are talking with one another as Reggie is in the background jumping up and down waving his arms in the air to get their attention. Mr. Weatherbee is at Reggie with a question mark over his head.
Bobbi: Say, I had a great idea for The Blue and Gold. An interview with our local celebrity Mikeylator!
Tomoko: Great idea, chief!
Panel four: Bobbi and Tomoko are walking away completely disregarding Reggie as Reggie is pulling at his hair and stomping his feet to show how angry he is. Mr. Weatherbee looks up and is alarmed to see a giant red question mark just floating above his head.
Tomoko: We have the same free period, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem. He's a really nice guy.
Reggie: Hey! I should be getting the interview! I am the local celebrity! I'm--descent on rare occasions!!
Panel one: Reggie is walking down the hallway as he is still fuming over being ignored. In the background, Mr. Svenson is opening a supply closet and is tossing the giant red question mark inside as Mr. Weatherbee smiles in approval. The supply closet is filled with various other marks of punctuations and caption boxes of various sizes.
Reggie: Those two don't know what they're missing! I'm a god amongst ants!
Panel two: Reggie starts to smile as he tries to wave them off as he turns a corner.
Reggie: What am I getting worked up about? This is Riverdale High! A cute girl is right around each corner, waiting for me!
Panel three: In the background Reggie nearly falls to the ground in shock. In the foreground, Mikeylator (who is wearing a bright blue shirt and red jeans) is signing autographs from: Betty, Veronica, Trula Twyst, Ethel, Sheila Wu, Sherry, Maria, Ginger Lopez, and The Twitters. Betty and Veronica each give him a kiss on the cheek as he blushes. Trula Twyst is writing on a notepad as she examines him. Sheila Wu and Ginger admire his fashion sense and Sherry is giving him a cheer. Mikeylator is very humble and bashful at all the attention he's getting.
Betty: And here's for conquering Six Saturdays at Sid's on 20/200/2,000 mode!
Veronica: Double the kisses mode!
Trula: So when you play games, do you feel like a different person?
Ginger Lopez: Wow. What a dresser.
Sheila Wu: I know. It just inspires you.
Panel one: Reggie looks like he's going to explode as he balls his fists and his eyes turn to flames as Dilton is about to run past him.
Reggie: I don't--I can't--how is he more popular than me!!?
Panel two: Reggie grabs Dilton by his shoulders and pulls him back so he can question him.
Reggie: C'mere you! I have questions only a nerd can answer!
Panel three: Dilton is adjusting his glasses as he points at Mikeylator as the girls surround him and he is trying his best to pass by while keeping a humble manner about him as he tries to keep them at bay.
Reggie: What's going on!? Why is that blue light special attracting high quality girls?
Dilton: Oh, Mikey? He has a series of Let's Play on Itube that are quite trendy.
Panel four: Reggie rolls his eyes as he listens to Dilton.
Dilton: He has several million subscribers and just as many twitter followers.
Reggie: Unreal. I play actual important games and this geek sits at his computer and just talks about stupid pixels...
Panel five: Reggie is confident as he thinks he's found something that he has more than Mikeylator. Reggie pats his backpocket containing his well sized wallet.
Reggie: Hah! Y'know what, he can have all the girls in the world, but he won't be able to keep them if he can't afford them!
Dilton: Um, actually...
Panel six: Mikeylator walks by as he is looking at his wallet as it is nearly bursting with money as the girls continue to follow after him and blow kisses in his direction. In the background Reggie's jaw drops as Dilton explains what is obvious now.
Dilton: Mikeylator's videos are sponsored by several corporations, so he is financially secured.
Panel one: Reggie rubs his chin with his index finger as he thinks all he money he can be making. Reggie has a thought balloon of money being downloaded out of his computer as he dances around like a lunatic.
Reggie: So a guy only has to play games on line, upload them for people to see...and he can get paid for it?
Panel two: Dilton tries to talk Reggie out of it as Reggie walks past him pumping his fist as he has a smirk across the right side of his face.
Dilton: Well, there's more too it, you have to be personable and your gaming skills need to be--
Dilton: Do I even need to glance down at the next panel to know what's going to happen?
Caption: Let's see...
Panel three: Reggie is in his room as he is at his computer and downloading Ghosty Mosty's Boo House of Fright (Ghost Mosty looks like Casper only with a wrinkled white cloth and wearing a top hat). Reggie is adjusting camera to focus on him even more.
Reggie: Set up an Itube account, downloading some "scary" game--Hah!
Reggie: Now, to start playing and let the magic happen.
Page 5 In each panel is a small box overhead to show Reggie or his room. The rest of the panel is a game so it looks like a Let's Play video. All the game shots are in first person. In the Reggie box, behind Reggie his door and various items in his room can be seen.
Panel one: Reggie is sneering at the game title: GHOSTY MOSTY'S BOO HOUSE OF FRIGHT) as the title character waves hello to him as the haunted house is behind him.. Reggie is mocking the character by having a dopey smile and waving his entire arm.
Reggie: This is the "scary game." Watching Jughead eat with his mouth open is scarier than this!
Panel two: Reggie pounds his chest as his player pushes past Ghosty Mosty to enter the haunted house.
Reggie: Outta my way. I'm exorcising your home!
Panel three: Reggie rolls his eyes at the cartoonish landscape of the haunted mansion as a goofy looking skeleton is pointing to a door on the right along a hallway with several doors on each side.
Reggie: They pull these graphics from a cartridge game? I know where to go! I'm exceptional at everything I do, bonehead!
Panel four: Reggie's character enters the door to see it much scarier and much more detailed with spider webs and green slime oozing through cracks in the dark granite wall. Reggie stops goofing around as he's taken by surprise by what he sees.
Reggie: ...Okay, this is different. Still, I'm not worried. I laugh at the face of death and snicker at Ms. Grundy behind her back. What can this game do?
Panel five: A cut out of a cartoonish zombie springs from a wall as Reggie's hair stands on end and he screams in fright.
Panel six: The same shot in the game panel. In the Reggie panel, Reggie is running out of his room terrified out of his life.
Panel one: Back to Riverdale High as Reggie is angrily walking down the hallway as Dilton waves hello to him. Reggie points behind him as he looks like he wants to punch someone.
Dilton: So how went your first experience as an online gamer?
Reggie: You got two ears and four eyes, use them, genius!!
Panel two: Behind Reggie everyone in the hallway is laughing at him. Jughead is leaning against a locker as he quips at him. Betty is trying to be nice to Reggie, but can't stop from laughing. Veronica is much more open. Archie is on his phone and watching it with Kevin Keller as both are snickering. Mikeylator looks over and shrugs his shoulder as he is just indifferent. Chuck is opening a locker as a cardboard cut out of Ghosty Mosty falls out in front of Moose and Midge. Midge is mocking Reggie by playfully hiding behind Moose as Moose plays along as he makes his teeth chatter and makes his knees buckle. Reggie turns and glares at Dilton as Dilton sheepishly rubs the back of his head and looks away from Reggie's glare.
Jughead: It was real nice of your mom to walk you back to your room, Reg Man.
Dilton: Well, in a fashion, you are more popular than you were yesterday.
Page one: A splash page split n half of Archie Andrews and Veronica.
Archie is in his car with a determined look on his face as he is driving. Archie is looking over at the reader and giving them a thumbs up to show he plans on winning today's lover quarrel. Veronica is at her mirror in her room checking herself out as she smiles confidently.
Caption: Welcome to Lover Quarrel where couples compete for dominance!
Caption: Here is Archie Andrews. All American Teen.
Caption: A fool in love. He is determined to make tonight his night.
(Split for Veronica)
Caption: Here is Veronica Lodge. Heiress.
Caption: If love is a battlefield, she's the general.
Panel one: Archie looks at his watch as he parks in the Lodge estate.
Caption: The date isn't until 8, but you're a half hour early. I see...
Panel two: Archie is waving his arms off as a ref would signal a field goal not being good as he kicks his door closed. As he does, a hubcap falls off his car unnoticed by him.
Caption: So you're not going to let Veronica set the early tone.
Panel three: Veronica is looking out her window as she smirks down at Archie.
Caption: A clever ploy, but is it enough?
Panel four: Veronica, in her casual clothess sits in a chair as she begins texting on her phone as she looks at her alarm clock that is reading 8:15
Caption: Seemingly not! This is your homefield and you'll go downstairs when you're ready.
Caption: Possibly after another ten minutes or so of texting followed by another twenty picking out the right attire, another twenty for your hair...
Panel five: Archie is unhappy as he looks at his watch angrily as he realizes they're going to be late as he sits in the living area of the Lodge Mansion as Smithers gives him a sympathetic pat on the back.
Caption: A nice try, sir, but once again, you're starting the game in a deficit.
Panel one: Archie is looking at his phone and shows it to the reader. In the background, Veronica is coming down a set of stairs.
Caption: Oh, so you have a backup plan?
Panel two: Veronica leans against the railings of the staircase as she tries to get Archie's attention. Archie isn't paying her any attention as he is texting on his phone as a smile curls across his face.
Caption: Here it is, your grand entrance. If not your natural beauty, the anticipation should have broken him...
Panel three: Veronica looks at Archie to see he is not paying any attention to her at all.
Caption: ...But no! He's playing on his phone! The nerve!
Panel four: Veronica stomps towards Archie as Archie is smiling and laughing as he nearly falls out of his chair
Caption: I wonder what's so funny?
Panel five: Veronica snatches the phone from Archie to his surprise.
Panel six: Veronica is embarrassed as her cheeks turn red. On the phone is an image of Veronica wearing a face mask, her hair all messed up and wearing a blue robe in the Cooper bathroom as Veronica in the picture protests. In the bathroom mirror, we can see Betty taking a recording Veronica with her cellphone.
Caption: Betty! Your friendemy! Supplying Archie with armaments! How will you respond to this shot across the bow?
Panel one: Veronica is bending down and yelling at Archie, right in his face as Archie has a blank expression on his face as he is tuning her out. Veronica is waving both her hands in the air.
Panel two: Veronica is holding her hair into a ponytail and doing the beheading cut throat across her neck to show what she plans to do to Betty when she sees her again. In the background, a window is beginning to crack.
Caption: The volume is enough to shatter eardrums!
Panel three: Veronica waves a fist in the air, points at Archie, and stomps her foot to show what will happen to him if he pulls this stunt again.
Caption: The harsh words--soul shattering. Any other man's confidence would have been broken...
Panel four: Veronica notices that Archie still has the same blank expression on his face as he is tuning her out. Archie has a thought balloon of a monkey balancing on a giant yellow ball to show how out of it he is.
Caption: But years of dating, has given Archie the ability to tune out Veronica. He has heard not a single word she's said!
Captain: Maybe the best offense is a good defense.
Panel five: Veronica bonks Archie on the head jolt him back to reality.
Panel six: Archie is holding his head and in pain as Veronica sneers at him while examining her nails. Archie has several red pain stairs coming from his head.
Caption: I stand corrected.
Panel one: Archie and Veronica are in Archie's car as they both have stern, determined looks on their faces. Veronica is looking angrily out the window while Archie is looking straight ahead as he holds his head where he was struck by Veronica.
Caption: What a game thus far!
Caption: As we go to our next venue, our combatants are licking their wounds...
Panel two: Veronica and Archie turn and give each other smiles as they try to show that they are having a wonderful time.
Caption: ...While putting up a front of strength.
Caption: Let's see what each young adult is thinking, shall we?
Panel three: Archie is still smiling as he has a thought balloon of himself as a He-Man like character with Veronica as a princess swooning over him.
Caption: A bit fantastical, but pumping yourself up with thoughts of inner strength and gaining the love of all will boost your confidence and motivate
Caption: But what of lovely Veronica...?
Panel four: Veronica is still smiling as she has a thought balloon of herself in army attire on a battlefield laced with barbwire, mud, and explosion going on all around her. Archie is lying on his stomach defeated as he weakly waves a small white flag. Veronica has a boot on a downed Archie's head as she drives his face deeper into the mud while holding up a flag with her face on it.
Caption: So total domination. No quarter asked, no quarter given. Love is a battlefield and only the beautiful and the bold will win!
Panel five: Archie's car is pulling into Riverdale Cinema.
Caption: Half time is over, and the second half of our contest is about to commence--
Panel one: Archie and Veronica are inside of the Riverdale Cinema as they are looking at a nearby wall and see two movie posters. One movie poster is Good Guys of the Galaxy II with the Good Guys of the Galaxy battling a rock troll. The other poster is A Love Movie with a man and woman kissing with the words (just like any other rom-com you've ever seen!!)
Caption: Ah, the choice. What movie will you two watch? You each know what genre the other prefers, will someone back down?
Panel two: Archie points at the Good Guys of the Galaxy II poster while Veronica points at the The Love Movie.
Caption: Now the true test of wills and wits begins.
Panel three: Archie and Veronica glare at each other as a teenage boy passes by the two.
Caption: Will it be the traditional staring contest?
Panel four: Veronica walks off to Archie's surprise.
Caption: No, it looks like Veronica has something else in mind.
Panel five: In the foreground, Veronica begins to flirt with the teenage boy as she pinches his cheeks as he blushes and has a dopey smile ear to ear. In the background, Archie looks on in frustration.
Caption: Aw, the jealously game! Be careful, Archie Andrews! You're falling into her trap!
Panel six: Veronica looks back and sticks her tongue out at Archie as Archie is enraged with his face turning red and steam coming from his ears.
Panel one: Archie looks at a group of teenage girls as he rubs his face as he has an idea.
Caption: A group of young, attractive ladies, no boyfriends. Fortune and circumstance have smiled upon you this day.
Panel two: Archie begins to take a step. Archie points at his head to show he's thought of what to say.
Caption: So you got it all planned out already? How you'll approach them? A joke leading to an introduction? Just be sure to put your best foot forward.
Panel three: Archie trips over his own two feet and falls on his face.
Panel four: Veronica looks back at Archie flat on is stomach as she smiles triumphantly. She is not paying the teenage boy any attention as she's more focused on watching Archie grovel back to her..
Caption: It looks like your win streak continues, Miss Lodge.
Panel five: Veronica waves off the teenage boy with one hand while looking at her watch on her left hand. The confused teenage boy dejectedly walks away.
Caption: I suppose it is just a matter of seconds before Archie crawls back to you.
Panel one: Veronica has her eyebrows raised in confusion. In the background, the group of teenage girls have gathered around Archie and are helping him up.
Caption: Wait. It looks like Archie isn't out of it yet.
Panel two: Veronica glares at Archie as the teenage girls are dusting Archie off and pulling gum off of his nose as he happily winces.
Caption: How will you respond?
Panel three: Veronica looks over to her side to see two teenage boys talking with one another as they look at a movie poster of Sam Hill.
Caption: Ah, so two can play, I take it.
Panel four: Veronica walks up to the two teenage boys as she twiddles her fingers at them to greet them as she strikes a pose.
Caption: Ah, drawing them in, getting their full attention. Excellent form.
Panel five: Veronica flips her hair, smiles, and motions with her index finger for the two teenage boys to come to her. The two teenage boys look on unmoved.
Caption: Ah, the hair flip, the rosey red lips, and the "come to me" finger wag. Your full arsenal on display!
Panel six: A dumbfounded Veronica looks on, her shoulders slumped, her arms hanging, and her jaw dropped as the two teenage boys hold hands, look lovingly in each others eyes, and walk away without giving Veronica a second thought.
Caption: Did not see that coming, did we?
Panel one: Veronica despondently looks over to see the three teenage girls flirting with Archie as Archie is all smiles. One girl pinches, Archie's freckles as she finds them cute.
Caption: Who could have predicted this turn of events?
Panel two: Veronica sighs as she begins to walk off panel.
Caption: So what is your plan, Veronica? How will you turn this around?
Panel three: Veronica is standing in front of Archie and the girls as she has her head held down in defeat as Archie twists his face in confusion.
Panel four: Veronica makes the "L is for loser" hand gesture over her head to signal defeat. Archie's eyes light up and points at his chest like a Price is Right contestant who can't believe he just won.
Caption: You did it! Archie, you won! She's conceded the battle to you!
Panel five: Archie takes a dejected Veronica by the hand as the group of teenage girls look on angrily, save for the one that liked Archie's freckles who blows kisses at him. Archie is taking giant strides as he pulls a despondent Veronica along.
Caption: You've taken your lumps and bruises over the years, but tonight victory is yours! Soak it all up, Archie!
Panel one: Archie is at the ticket vender as he holds out money to exchange for two tickets. Archie looks to his left off-panel as he is no longer smiling.
Caption: What's the matter? Shouldn't you be happy? For once, you control the date.
Panel two: Archie sympathetically looks over at Veronica who still has her head down as she sheepishly rubs her left arm.
Caption: Oh. I see. You just realized that for you to win, she had to lose.
Caption: But what can you do about it now?
Panel three: Archie walks up to Veronica as Veronica looks up.
Panel four: Archie holds up the tickets to show her it's for The Love Movie as her face lights up.
Caption: Graceful in defeat, humble in victory. You're a class act that any girl would be lucky to have.
Panel five: Veronica kisses Archie as various pink and red hearts come from the heads of both of them.
Caption: And Veronica knows it!
Panel six: Inside of the movie theater, as Veronica and Archie are in the middle aisle as Veronica is resting her head on Archie's left shoulder while Archie has his left arm over her as they both look into each others eyes lovingly.
Caption: Lovers Quarrel. Where ties are the only way to win.
Panel one: Archie is in a parlor room in the Lodge Estate as he accidentally bumps into a vase and breaks it. Veronica tries to grab it at the last second but misses it by inches.
Veronica: Archie! Watch where you're going!
Archie: Ooops. Sorry, Ronnie.
Archie: Um, you think your dad maybe didn't hear that...?
Panel two: Mr. Lodge suddenly slings up the door to the parlor room and is snarling and bent over like the Incredible Hulk as he points at Archie as Archie's face sinks back and his eyes go wide. Veronica takes a giant side step away from Archie and rolls her eyes and whistles as she acts like an innocent bystander.
Mr. Lodge: YOU!!
Panel three: Archie is being tossed from The Lodge Estate by Mr. Lodge as he lands on his belly and chin as several pain stars surround his body. One star has freckles and a bandage being put on by another pain star.
Mr. Lodge: And don't come back here or see my daughter until you meet a certain standard!
Archie: ...What standard, sir?
Panel four: Mr. Lodge slams the door as bruised and dejected Archie turns his shoulder to look back. Archie squints an eye as if slamming the door is causing him even more pain.
Mr. Lodge in the mansion: PERFECTION!!
Panel one: Archie is walking along the sidewalk as he has his hands in his pocket as he is about to kick a can in his path.
Archie: Okay, fine. Maybe I'm not perfect, but I'm at least acceptable. I'd even say I was above average...
Panel two: Archie tries to kick the can, but instead ends up tripping over his own feet as he falls backwards.
Archie: ...Lower above aver---whhooooaaa!
Panel three: Archie is lying on the ground flat on his back as he sadly looks up at the sky. A man picking up cans gets off his scooter and gives Archie a look of pure pity as he puts the can in his half filled trash bag.
Archie: Face it, Andrews. You're as far from perfection as Reggie is to humility.
Panel four: Archie is sitting on the curb as he takes out his phone and begins to explore the internet on Gaggle. In the search engine he has typed in "HELP ON BEING PERFECT." With his free hand he is holding his aching back as the pain star with freckles from before now has a point in a sling.
Archie: But hey, at least when you've hit rock bottom, you can only go up.
Panel five: Archie is on Amazing Shop Store as he sees a book titled HOW TO BE PERFECT by S.A. Fleishman. The price is $24.99. The Kindle version 10.99. Archie has a thought balloon of his money flying out of his pocket to Veronica and Jughead as he sadly looks on.
Archie: This self help book is exactly what I need, but I don't have a red cent to my name and I would never illegally download something that isn't mine.
Archie: There has to be something I can do...
Panel six: Archie is checking the How To Be Perfect out at Riverdale Library as a middle age woman with thick blue glasses and graying black hair stamps the books as she just seems happy to finally have someone at the library. At the counter are several cobwebs on books. In the background is a computer station with the old computer boxes and lines coming from the computers to a circular phone on a nearby stand.
Librarian: Thank you for coming to your local library! Please come back. It gets so lonely thanks to the wi-fi and the apps and phones that text...
Caption: That's right. Libraries do exist. Try them out.
Panel one: Archie is in his living room reading from How To Be Perfect as he gives Vegas a pat on his head as Vegas listens in.
Archie: "The first step is keeping all your entire body straight as you walk around your community for the next two hours to improve and show off your posture."
Panel two: Archie looks down at Vegas. Archie is hopeful about what his about to do while Vegas looks at him apprehensively.
Archie: Guess you can't knock it unless you try it, right, Vegas?
Vegas thinking: That's what I thought when the vet gave me my first vaccination shot.
Panel three: Mr. Andrews is opening the door as Archie walks out and smiles at him. Archie has his entire body stiff and is walking like the old school Frankstein's monster with his arms sticking out straight and walking in long strides without bending his knee. Archie has his neck held up straight. Mr. Andrews drops his briefcase as he is taken back by Archie.
Archie: Hi, dad. I'm going to go for a little walk. Tell mom not to worry about me, I'll grab a small snack at Pop's.
Mr. Andrews: ...Sure, Archie.
Panel four: Mr. Andrews looks back at Archie as Archie awkwardly walks down the street as several neighbors in their yards look on. One neighbor on a riding lawnmower is so focused on Archie, he doesn't notice he's left his yard and is about to hit a fire hydrant on the street.
Mr. Andrews: I was young once. Just like Archie is now. I remember it. But I wasn't crazy.
Mr. Andrews: ...Well, maybe crazy, but not that kind of crazy.
Panel one: Archie is walking down a sidewalk in Riverdale's business section as he seems proud of himself. Everyone on the street is looking at him. On the street is Shrill and Sherry who look on with a confused expression. Nearby a man in a business suit is watching Archie, not noticing an open man hole.
Archie thinking: This isn't even half as bad as I thought it would be!
Panel two: Archie rolls his eyes as he sees Reggie and Simon Silverstein walking towards him. Reggie has his smart phone out and recording Archie while Silverstein chuckles.
Reggie: Look at what we have here. The Walking Lame.
Simon: Too much starch in your wash there, Freckleepuss?
Panel three: Archie walks past Reggie and Simon as they both continue to laugh at him. Archie has a scowl across his face.
Archie: I don't hate the comedians, it's the bad jokes I can't stand!
Panel four: Archie has his head turn as he doesn't notice he is walking straight at Midge who is on her cell phone talking and doesn't notice Archie at all. Next to Midge is Moose who is looking at her lovingly.
Archie thinking: At least I got to deal with the worst Riverdale has to offer all at once. Should be smooth sailing from here.
Panel one: Archie doesn't notice Midge until she is right past his out stretched arms and bumps into her. The positioning looks like Archie is about to give her a hug. Moose's docile mood flips.
Panel two: Archie shifts his eyes to his right to see an angry Moose as Midge ducks under Archie's right arm and rolls her eyes to her left and shifts her lips to her left so show she is expecting something bad to happen.
Panel three: Archie tries to run the best he can without bending his legs and keeping his arms still straight as he darts and weaves around various people on the street. Moose is so confused by what he sees that his anger is completely gone as Midge stands next to Moose and looks on.
Panel four: Archie has fallen over and has his hands and tip toes on the street as he is now stuck and can't move. Moose turns to Midge.
Panel five: Moose and Midge begin to walk away arm in arm as Archie is now trying to hop on is fingers and tip toes to get away from Moose, not knowing that Moose is leaving him alone. Moose and Midge use their free hand and an index finger to swirl a circle over their heads as they both get a good laugh at Archie's antics.
Moose and Midge: Archie.
Panel one: Archie is walking into The Chocklit Shop as he is approaching the counter. Betty is at the counter drinking a small soda as she notices Archie. Pop Tate is cleaning a glass with his wash cloth behind the counter and tries not to laugh at Archie's
Betty: Archie! Um...what'cha doing?
Archie: Oh, um, I heard this helps release chakra.
Pop Tate: Don't forget to visualize a closed red flower opening surrounded by radiant light.
Panel two: Pop Tate gives Archie a small shake in one hand and a small pack of French fries in the other. Betty reaches into Archie's pocket to pull out a few dollars and change.
Archie: Um, I'll get right on that after a small fry and soda. Betts, um, I can't really reach into my pocket so could you...?
Betty: Not a problem.
Panel three: Archie look at the fries and soda in his respective hands and realizes he can't eat them without bending. Betty looks on with a giant smile on her face.
Betty: Still need help?
Archie: Yeah. If you don't mind.
Panel four: Betty is in between Archie's arms and is holding out the soda with a straw so Archie can drink. Archie has a slight smile on his face.
Betty: Not at all.
Panel five: Betty has the end of one French fry in her mouth as Archie begins to eat his way to her like Lady and The Tramp. Archie has several hearts over his head.
Betty: After all, it never hurts to help.
Panel one: Archie is carrying Chunk on his back as he tries to walk up a large hill. Chunk has his usual blank stare, scratching his nose and eating a candy bar. Archie is sweating and straining as his knees buckle as determinedly takes a step. In front of him knelt down is Raj with his camera as he takes a close up on Archie's determined, wincing face. Shrill and Sherry are walking past Archie and Chunk. Sherry is pointing at herself and at Shrill's back, signaling she wants Shrill to carry her down the hill, Shrill responds with an extended hand to signal "NO WAY"
Caption: Chapter 2: Strength. Carry three times your own body weight up and down the tallest hill twenty times.
Panel two: Archie is outside of Mr. Weatherbee's home kissing Wendy Weatherbee. Mr. Weatherbee looks outside his window and is fuming with rage. Wendy's pet snake is looking up at a tree to see a rabbit, hanging from his feet on a branch, try to tempt it with an apple. The snake is confused to what is happening. Archie shifts his eyes to Mr. Weatherbee timidly, knowing he's in for some trouble.
Caption: Chapter 3: Bravery. Stand Up To Fear: Put Yourself In Mortal Danger With Life Or Death Repercussions.
Panel three: Archie is inside of Mama B's Bakery as Archie has lost another arm wresting contest to Big Vic at the bakery counter. Big Vic is barely trying as he has his head turned and is mixing a bowl of cake mix with a wooden spoon. Vic even not trying his hardest is able to cause Archie to flip before falling to the ground. Mama B is in the background near a small dry erase board as she has filled it up with marks to show how many times Vic has defeated Archie. Jughead is looking on as he is eating a brownie and giving Archie a not so sincere thumbs up for the effort.
Caption: Chapter 4: Determination. Challenge the strongest person you can find to a test of strength and not stop until you win.
Panel four: Archie is with Jinx Malloy as disaster is heading straight for Archie at every turn. A black cat is leaping at Archie, an earthquake is ripping into the street below him, an airplane is crashing just behind him, and lightning is striking at his left foot. Archie has a look of pure terror as he has his arms over his face to shield himself from the cat and has lifted his left leg to his chest and is just standing on his right leg as he loses balance. Archie has bird poop in his hair, thorns on his clothes, and gum on the bottom of his left shoe that stretches all the way from the ground to his shoe. Jinx is happy to have company and is walking ahead, not away of anything that is happening to Archie.
Caption: Chapter 5: Generosity. Show companionship to the person who needs it the most.
Panel one: Archie is in his room lying on his bed, exhausted as he holds How To Be Perfect In A Day above his head as he begins to read it.
Archie: The last chapter!
Panel two: A low angle view as we look to the left of Archie as we read along with him the next two pages. The first page on the left reads: Chapter 6: Endurance. Stay awake the rest of the night to show you have the mental fortitude for perfection. The right page reads: Turn only if you fell asleep.
Panel three: Archie has a tired smile on his face as he is confident he can do it.
Archie: Just that? That's easy! I've got this in the bag!
Panel four: Archie has an even bigger smile ear to ear as he closes his eyes as he begins to image what being perfect will be like.
Archie: I can't wait to show Mr. Lodge the new me! Mr. Perfect. I can see it now...
Panel one: A new more muscular Archie wearing a suit and tie is walking with an awestruck Veronica as she fawns all over him and feels his muscles. Archie is using his right hand to straighten his tie. As Archie gives a giant grin, his teeth give off a giant twinkle.
Veronica: I can't believe this change in you, Archie! You're the perfect boyfriend now!
Perfect Archie: I'm perfect in everyway possible. That's why I'm Mr. Perfect.
Panel two: Archie has his hand on the Lodge Mansion door knob as he begins to open it.
Perfect Archie: Now, to show you father what perfection personified looks like.
Panel three: Perfect Archie and Veronica look on in terror as the entire mansion collapses in one giant heap.
Panel four: Mr. Lodge is beginning to dig himself out of a pile of rubble as his suit is torn and his glasses bent and broke. While this is going on an angry Veronica is glaring at Perfect Archie.
Perfect Archie: But I'm perfect now. I...I...I don't understand what happened.
Mr. Lodge: I do...
Panel five: The battered Mr. Lodge suddenly is in front of Archie and grabbing him by the collar of his suit and looking him in the eye as he screams with his mouth extended three times larger than normal. Perfect Archie has a look of pure shock on his face.
Mr. Lodge: YOU FELL ASLEEP!!!
Panel one: Archie is sitting up in bed with the book opened where he left it just beside him.
Panel two: A dejected Archie looks out the window to see the sun shining in to show that it is morning and he had fallen asleep about when he closed his eyes on the last panel of page 8.
Panel three: A hopeful Archie looks down at the book as it has landed page up right where he had left off.
Archie: Okay, just one little slip up, maybe there's a second chance, a life line, an extra life!
Panel four: A wide eyed Archie looks at the book in shock as the next two pages have large print reading: YOU ARE NOT PERFECT AND NEVER WILL BE.
Panel five: Archie closes the book as he has a defeated look on his face
Archie: (sigh). Mr. Medicore from his feet to his freckles to his red hair. Now and forever.
Panel one: Archie, book under his arm, is walking towards the Riverdale Library with his head held down in defeat and shame as Veronica is running up towards him holding out her smart phone.
Veronica: Archie Andrews! Where have you been! You haven't answered my texts!
Veronica: And what are all these videos of you posted online!? Especially the ones with Betty!!
Panel two: Archie sadly holds up the book as Veronica looks down at it as her eyebrows furrow to show she's beginning to get angry.
Archie: Ronnie...I checked out this book on being perfect, that way I'd be worthy of you...but I blew it.
Archie: I'm just typical at best.
Panel three: Veronica glares at Archie and points a finger at his nose as Archie bends his back over slightly.
Veronica: Typical?! Veronica Lodge does not deal in "typical".
Veronica: You're perfect just as you are and if you dare go behind my back with a harebrained stunt like this again, I'll wallop you!
Panel four: Archie has a smile from ear to ear as Veronica blushes as she shifts her eyes.
Archie: Wait...you think I'm perfect already??
Veronica: Well, your car is a jalopy fit only for the scrap yard and your choice in best friends is atrocious...but overall I wouldn't change one aspect of Archie Andrews.
Panel five: Archie is walking away with a smile on his face. In the background, Veronica is wide eyed with uncertainty.
Archie: Thanks, Ronnie! You're close to perfect yourself!
Panel six: A high angle view Archie is walking up to the steps of The Riverdale Library as a frantic Veronica follows after him.
Veronica: What's wrong? Is it my hair?
Veronica: Not enough make-up? Too much perfume?
Veronica: Archie Andrews, if you don't tell me what's wrong with me, I won't speak to you ever again!!
Panel one: A high angle view of the S.A. Fleischman estate as it is a beautiful mansion with several sports cars parked in the driveway. Around the estate is a perfect fence with the gates having his initials engraved in the middle.
Caption: Perfect home.
Caption: Perfect cars.
Caption: Perfect enclosure.
Panel two: A close up on a trophy room filled with awards and medals.
Caption: Perfect at sports.
Panel three: A close up on a 65 inch flat screen where a video game is being played of HARP (Halo remake) where the player (S.A. Fleischman) has a perfect as Leader Paramount is giving a thumbs up with purple AI female companion with a pixie cup standing over a trounced alien enemy. At the left corner of the panel we see the shoulder of S.A. Fleischman as he is wearing a blue shirt with a red sweater best.
Caption: Perfect entertainment system.
Caption: Perfect score.
Panel four: S.A. Fleischman slumps in his chair totally dejected and bored with his life even though he is surrounded by perfect works of art and in a perfect parlor that has it's own bar.
S.A. Fleischman: I. Am. So. BORED.
Let' s see $13 dog bed, $10 flea and tick spray for carpet, $10 flea shampoo, $25 flea pill, $15 depo allergy shot. All for an eighteen year old dog. And people wonder why I only review old and free comics...
But enough of my problems it's time to review STARTUP ISSUE ONE
Renee Garcia-Gibson is a single mother, a stenographer, and also over three hundred pounds. And after a day of jeers, jokes, and embarrassment, Renee is offered a chance to kick her life into overdrive. This is StartUp.
The writing: It's a neat concept and I really like Renee. It's hard not to root for a good person who just is taking grief from everyone. Her son, Malcolm doesn't want to be seen with her at school, single mom, mocked by everyone, and just nothing seemingly going her way. I like how her being a stenographer is worked into the story, like her knowing who The Cloud are and how they navigate around the law. And The Cloud is an interesting idea, a bunch of people who just want to fight heroes. And she has a great hero moment with how to deal with Glut. It's hard to not like a character that perseveres in a universe that seems to enjoy making her miserable.
And the story does what a first issue should do. Introduce the main characters, plot, theme, leave wanting more. We get a good introduction on who the supporting cast will be (son, grandmother, love interest) It's a good origin story. The humor is good, the story pacing is excellent, Renee narrating was a great idea for the story.
There is lot of moments in this comic that I think most people can relate to with how being different can lead to low self-esteem, lack of luck in love, and just various forms of embarrassment or harassment. And Darin Henry dealt with it extremely well.
The art. I'm going to be honest, I have a lot of problems with the art from Craig Rousseau for this issue, but it's not all bad. Renee is drawn well. When StartUp gets her powers the action's really good. I like the blurring of her to show her super speed. Renee looks good throughout the comic (baring the inking). And there's even a fun bit of background where a man is taking picture of Crunch while a female looks angrily at him and a family covering their eyes.
The coloring and lettering. It's okay. The colors are nice and bright. The lettering is good. I think my favorite is the school kids on page 4. I think they do cover up a bit of a major problem I had for this issue.
The art. Out of all the Sitcomics that I've read, this is the weakest of all the art. The best way to describe it is...wonky and inconsistent. Heck, just check out the candy bar on the first page for that! The people in the background are just distracting. I don't mind if you give dots for eyes or just go super simplistic...if you're consistent on it. And by that I mean, you have people in the background, they don't have noses. At least keep it that way for the page. We're not even getting that the next panels. People are missing noses, mouths, and ears. An example is page 13. And they just...weird. Like the kids on page four. What's up with that blonde kid's nose?
And the art really doesn't show the action in places. Take when Glut knees Dr. Dow. It doesn't look like there is any impact. Compare it to when Renee is fighting The Cloud and Glut. Some times the art is just...When Renee was late and barged into the courtroom, I had no idea that yellow thing was her purse. The cat in Dr. Dow's office just...it looks like a fox in one panel when it's not looking demonic.
And the inking does not help. Take Grannie Rosa. It looks like she got punched in the eye! Lines and lines on people. Yeah, they are important to distinguish age and emotions, facial expressions. But it goes overboard on several pages. Page seven sticks out as bad.
I just couldn't get into Craig Rousseau's artwork.
What I learned from What I read.
First they threw stuff at Santa Claus and then laugh at poor Renee? Why does Philly dislike the overweight so?
Overall: Yeah, out of all the first issues I've read of Sitcomics this past week, this is the weakest. Mainly because of the art and inking.
Here's the thing, I consider art the most important thing of a comic because, well, let's be honest, if it doesn't look good or appealing your probably not going to stick around for the reading.
I really like the writing, StartUp herself, the humor and social commentary. There's some good ideas focused on. The dialogue and narrative are superb. I'm not a fan of the art, but I wouldn't call it hideous. It's not the Jughead art that nearly drove me insane. Just a little below average for me.
I'd give this comic a C+
And there you have it. Overall I've enjoyed reading Sitcomics. They're fun and well written and I mostly really enjoy the art. Again I recommend going to the Sitcomics home page and taking advantages of the three downloads. Sitcomics themselves are cheap in a market where it costs an arm and leg to pick up multiple titles.
What is it that makes us love them? Our subconscious desire to eat other people? The idea of a stabilized society thrust into chaos by unthinkable and unstoppable forces? We just think zombies are cool?
Probably the latter.
A virus turning normal human beings into flesh eating zombies has hit America. Luckily, the government has been able to quarantine the outbreak to western Pennsylvania. Three million zombies and it is up to six people to tag them until a cure can be found. They are--The Z-People.
And for extra fun, a chilling tale for Barbara Macabre's Morbid Museum.
The story: Hey, if you're going to do a zombie story where there's a ton of zombie media, do something different and Darin Henry did.
It's a really good first issue. We're introduced to the characters, we're thrown right in, and we see where the series will be headed.
The characters are easy to identify: Tim's the leader, Jay's his son, Perry is the know-it-all know nothing, Sandra's the smart one, Joe's the prick mostly likely to get you killed, and Annie is the ambitious reporter now stuck in the rut with everyone else. They all have their own personality and quirks. We get basic background on them as well. Out of the three comics I've recently reviewed for Sitcomics, this has done the best job with getting the reader to know all the main characters of the series.
The humor is great. Just for someone doing what I always wanted to see: throwing the dumb jerk to the ravenous hordes after they mess up beyond forgiveness. Perry being annoying, but ending up being proven right in his definition of zombies was fun. How the characters survive is cute. And President Warner being a perfect caricature of what a the POTUS has become (No not a Trump homage...well, there is a Putin joke) pretty much just a no nothing who does the occasional pictures to make himself look good.
And I like the idea of these six people having to work together and tag zombies until a cure can be found. There is a lot of zombie media out there and this idea sets it out from the rest.
And there's a little bit of drama with Tim's wife out there among the mess of flesh eating fiends.
And the Barbara Macabre is a good homage to Tales from the Crypt. Barbara even has the same colored scheme as the animated version. And there's enough difference where I don't believe anyone call call it a ripoff. The Cryptkeeper did puns, Barbara rhymes as she tells the story.
So credit to credit's due, Darin Henry did another great job.
The art. We have art by Tom Richmond and Al Milgrom and they booth do a very good job. There style fits the stories (zombies and a tales from the crypt homage)
Tom Richmond took me awhile to get into, but after I read the story I really liked it. His zombies look great and I like the facial reactions from the main characters. Backgrounds are really well done. Even a funny background event with a zombie bursting in, Perry screaming, and then Tony just whacking it with a club. The art reminds me of the old Now Comics Married with Children comics I used to read as a kid. Art's a little quirky and may take a few pages to get into, but I think most people will end up enjoying it.
And as I stated during the writing section, we're thrown right into these people and the design and clothing of the characters pretty much gives you an idea who these characters are. For example, Sandra is wearing a white lab coat so, she's the smart one. Joe is wearing a business suit, so I had him begged as a jerk when I first saw him. Perry wearing a vest hints at him being a know it all (Trust me, I've seen a lot of smart alecks wearing vests in my life). Clothes make the man and good choices were made to help readers know the characters on the very first page.
Al Milgrom. I'm more used to him as an inker but I like his art here. The art is very old school and it fits the nature of the story. I like how Chester I drawn, just this big, disgusting waste of a human being. I like the Frankenstein monster picture hung in the boss's office and little things like Poopsie Cola. And I appreciate this story not getting disgusting to the point where I get sick reading it. I've got baaaad memories of the Toxic Crusaders comic Marvel Comics produced.
Coloring and Lettering. We get colors from K. Michael Russell and Glenn Whitmore respectively.
Russell does a great job. I really like the coloring and shading of the zombies. Just check out the first few pages with zombies, the water puddle, the moon. It's beautiful. The main, living characters really stand out from his tones. I love the colors he used when Tim just lost it on Joe after Joe destroyed the possible zombie cure.
Whitmore is just great like normal. Even has his own little nice "character enraged" panel. Before the last page, I kind of wish the story had been colored a bit darker, but then when you realize how a character is going to die....yeah, brighter was probably for the best.
Lettering was done by our favorite Marshall of Dodge City and it's the usual great job. I like the giant sound effect when the zombies are breaking into the garage and the main characters freak out. The splash of the green goo. The different colored lettering for important moments (SHUT UP, PERRY said by everyone). The Shove effect motioning like Joe as he's pushed forward was a nice touch. And I like Barbara Macabre's word balloons being darker outlined and warped. And honestly, the sound effects and how they're done, really helps get the fart jokes over for me.
Fart jokes. If you hate fart jokes, you're really not going to like The Barbara Macabre story because that's what a good portion of the jokes are. I was okay with it, but I know people who when they hear a fart joke just give up on the movie or story. Sigh, and to think it was once our greatest human achievement, but we've misused over and over.
Barbara Macabre's....where's the Morbid Museum? Okay, I get that's a fun little take on Tales from the Crypt...but since it's called "Morbid Museum" it would have been nice to have a tiny panel of museum filled with the morbid. Something like Night Gallery would work. It's a nitpick, but I think it would be great to do in the future.
The art. I like the art fine but the first few pages doesn't really add up in Z-People. Our heroes are stuck in a garage they keep making jokes about being disgusting. But it looks just fine. Perry steps in something that--just lines on the floor. I've been in horrible garages and sheds. My uncle grinds up pigs in his work shop. I will take pictures and show you what disgusting truly is!
Coloring. Don't normally bring up mistakes from Whitmore, but Barbara's one good eye keeps changing colors.
What I learned.
Man, Pennsylvania is almost as bad a place to live in as Maine. (Get the reference and be proud of yourself)
Yeah, I really liked it. The stories were good and well written with nice humor. The art really fit the formats. Honestly, I could see people not liking the second story because of the constant rhyming and the fart jokes--but let them write their own review. I really enjoyed reading this comic and I think most people would enjoy it.
Again this, and other Sitcomic titles, first issues are downloadable for free. I'd recommend giving it a chance.
I give it a B+
And next time I'll be reviewing StartUp. Will it zoom ahead or will it trail behind the rest of the pack? Find out soon.
Got a PM from the Sitcomics creator wanting me to review the first issue of his other three series, which are still downloadable from free on the Sitcomics official website. And I decided why not, since I love the inflated sense of self esteem critiquing the hard work of others brings.
I know what you guys are thinking? "PTF, how do we know you weren't bought off to give good reviews like all the other online reviewers?" Listen here, I have pride! I will be my usual fair and impartial self throughout this and all other reviews!
But on an unrelated note before I begin the standard intro--K.C. Undercover is the greatest Disney show ever. Much better than Jessie. The only thing that could possibly rival K.C. Undercover is Shake It Up. But only from 2012 to 2013.
Now that that's out of the way---
For four years, ninth graders Ernie and Marsha have tried to develop telepathic powers. And now--they have. Will Ernie get the girl? Will Marsha help Ernie cheat on tests? It's a whole new world that's open as we delve into...
TELEPATHETIC ISSUE ONE.
The story. This promoted as a "for all ages." And it definitely fits the bill. I wouldn't have a problem with any kid reading this. And the story is fun: two best friends want to develop super powers and finally get one: telepathy. The first issue sets up their lives, both are only the lower social order at school, even below band. It's a real quick read, but it's a fun read. It does most of what a first issue should, introduce the characters, grasp the theme of the series, and the direction it's going. Special note is the subtle foreshadowing and the ending. Awesome.
The characters: Well, we only get to know two of the four main characters (if going by the introduction page) but it's good.
Dirk is the easy going, seemingly confident, eccentric kid who pines for the most beautiful girl in school, but she doesn't take him seriously. And you really root for the guy. While he is a little mischievous, he's a nice kid. And we get some real depth to him. He doesn't have a great relationship with his father (who makes him walk a mile before he can have school lunch) and he opens up to Marsha when he acknowledges he's not what he wishes he was and being a superhero is the only way to get respect.
Marsha. She's more of the straightman, but she does have her quirks. She stresses about a writing contest to the point she feels like she's going to throw up. Bit of a deadpan snarker, which I like. And it's hard to not like a character who supports her idiot friend like she does.
Amy and Beth get the short end of the stick, but we get enough of them to get a good idea on their personality and disposition.
So great work by Darin Henry.
The art. Okay, I'm going to be honest, when I looked at the cover of this issue, I didn't think I would like the art style, but as I read, the art and colors of Blair Shedd became my favorite thing about the issue. I swear, when I was looking at this book, Akiko sprung to my mind. For those not as knowledgeable/not old as dirt like me, it was a fun little book in the nineties where the art style was simple, but the characters had real synergy to them. Same with Telepathetic, best seen with Dirk having to jog his mile in the hallways and the facial reactions throughout the issue.
But what Akiko didn't have going for it was color. The colors really pop. I've given Glen Whitmore heaps of well deserved praise in my reviews and this is very close to that level. The shading and lighting on characters is really good. Just how the shading of hair to the head is something that I don't see in a lot of the Big Two comics (X-Men Gold if someone wants a specific example) Even better, it would have been real easy to just go "White Room" with the Brain Hole, but it is radiant, there's energy to it. And I love the idea of yellow for the flashbacks of Marsha and Dirk trying to develop super powers.
All in all, amazing work by Blair Shedd. But there is one thing I'm more impressed by. The greatest thing I have seen in all of the issues of Sitcomics...maybe even comics I have ever read--
That vest. Seriously, how the heck did that vest with that design stay consistent throughout the entire comic?!! We still can't get an issue where the rocks that comprise Marvel's The Thing look the same after a few panels!! Even if computers were involved, I'm impressed.
Marshall Dillon. Not only does he have the greatest parents ever for giving him that name, but he's a heck of a letterer. I love the designs of the caption boxes. It says something when I go back to look at caption boxes. The sound effects are really well done, especially Adam and his misfortunes at the water fountain. Just great work like normal.
The art. I love the art, but there is one little gripe. On page nine, there's a panel where Ernie's hands are as big as his entire head. So we got a boo-boo in a park of Yogi's.
PDF Files. Adobe Reader has never been a friend.
The intro page: "Or mentally control a basketball so you never miss a shot?" That's not telepathy! That's telekinesis! They are totally different psionic powers!!!
What I learned from what I read
Amy seems like a nice girl, but she has a warped sense of humor.
Yeah, this was a really great issue. There's only the minorest of complaints. It's a really great comic that I think everyone can enjoy. And you can check out this book and other Sitcomic books as the first issues are available for free.
It's an A for this issue
And next time I'll be reviewing Z-People. Will it hold up or will it be a dead duck that feasts geese and other parkland critters? Find out soon?
Panel one: The setting is a Riverdale High School hallway as Archie is about to open his locker. Peering from a corner is Reggie who looks on with a sneer.
Reggie: Reggie Mantle, you're a no good ne'er do well, but you do bad ever so well!
Panel two: Archie is surprised as twenty small super balls leap out of his locker.
Panel three: Archie is stumbling around and falling as the bouncy balls are leaping all around him and are under his feet as he begins to trip.
Archie: Whoa! Hey! One at a time! Be fair!
Panel four: Archie falls on his backside as the bouncy balls seem to target him and begins to bounce on him as he tries to shield his head and back. Reggie looks on with a giant chuckle as several students gather around and laugh at Archie.
Reggie: Looks like you're having a ball, Freckles! Lots of them!
Reggie: Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk!
Archie thinking: I don't know what hurts worse: my pride from embarrassment, my rear because I fell, or my ears for hearing that joke!
Panel one: Archie has a rubber band tied to two ends of a hallway as he stretches the giant rubber band out as it has a water balloon on it. Several students look on with perplexed looks.
Archie thinking: I don't care if I get detention! I've been Reggie's punching bag for over three weeks! I want payback!
Panel two: Archie is focusing dead ahead as he does not notice Reggie sneaking up on him.
Archie thinking: A man can only take so much!
Panel three: Archie is still focusing dead ahead as Reggie sticks his index finger at his mouth to signal for the readers to be quiet.
Archie thinking: Where is he?! He's normally here by now so he can step on the back of my shoes while I'm walking to class!
Panel four: Archie lets go of the rubber band as Reggie yells right into Archie's ear startling him.
Reggie: BOOGA BOOGA
Panel five: Reggie is falling on the floor laughing as he points at a drenched Mr. Weatherbee who glares at Archie. In a pool of water, Mr. Weatherbee's hair piece is floating. Archie's face has gone white like he's seen death itself. In the background Chloe is taking a picture while the Twitters are on their phones.
Reggie: Ha Ha Ha! Out of all the people! Only you, Arch! Only you!
Mr. Weatherbee: Mr. Andrews. My office. NOW!
Panel one: Archie is in Mr. Weatherbee's office as Mr. Weatherbee is using a blow dryer to dry off his hair piece. Archie has his feet crossed under the chair and is gripping the arms of the chair tightly like he was about to see the executioner.
Mr. Weatherbee: Of all the juvenile, bonehead, idiotic things--!
Mr. Weatherbee: Explain yourself!
Panel two: Archie tries to explain as Mr. Weatherbee happily puts his hairpiece back on his head.
Archie: It's Reggie! For the last three weeks he's been pranking me nonstop! Spoiled milk, itching powder in my gym shorts, gluing me to the flag pole!
Archie: I just wanted a little payback!
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee points at Archie to leave as Archie nearly trips over his own feet as he is getting out of his chair.
Mr. Weatherbee: Revenge does not fly in my school, nor in society! An eye for an eye leads to blindness! You've got two weeks of detention! Now hurry to you next class.
Archie: Yes, sir...
Panel four: Ms. Grundy is walking into Mr. Weatherbee's office as Archie has his head and arms lowered and his back arched as he looks totally defeated. Mr. Weatherbee waves it off.
Ms. Grundy: Seems you threw the book at him, Waldo.
Mr. Weatherbee: He launched a water balloon at me! Fair's fair!
Panel one: Ms. Grundy is talking with Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee looks over behind his desk at a box filled with various pranks like rubber chicken, paper airplanes, rubber chickens, and whoopee cushions. Just anything you want to throw in.
Ms. Grundy: Spoken like a rational adult!
Mr. Weatherbee: I admit Reggie has far endeared himself as the class clown, but wanting to get back at someone is petty and disruptive.
Panel two: Ms. Grundy is smiling at Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee folds his arms and looks away.
Ms. Grundy: I'm not excusing Archie's actions...but I can't help think back to my days in high school when a certain boy was the butt of someone else's fun.
Mr. Weatherbee: Hmph. I have no idea what you're talking about.
Panel three: Ms. Grundy is walking away as Mr. Weatherbee rolls his eyes upwards as a thought balloon begins to appear over his head.
Ms. Grundy: I'm just saying maybe a certain someone should be more sympathetic to his plight.
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee has a thought balloon of several pranks pulled at his expense by a big nosed kid with curly hair to a teenage version of himself. One image has the big nose teen clanging cymbals right behind Teenage Weatherbee's ear. The next image has Teenage Weatherbee slipping on a banana peel as the big nose kid eats a banana. The next image is winter where Teenage Mr. Weatherbee has his nose frozen on a flag pole as the big nose kid laughs at him. The final image is Teenage Weatherbee talking with Teenage Grundy as the big nose kid puts a frog down the back of his shirt.
Mr. Weatherbee: Hmmm...
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee cups his hands over his chin as his stern facial expression eases.
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee looks at the box of pranks.
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee turns back to his desk and taps his nose with his index finger as he begins to think as he uses his other hand to go in the intercom.
Mr. Weatherbee: Ms. Philips. Please call Archie Andrews to my office.
Ms. Philips. On the dot, sir.
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee has his hands clasped as he leans in his chair as he has the box of pranks on his desk as Archie enters his office.
Archie: You wanted to see me, sir?
Mr. Weatherbee: Yes. As I was sitting here, I thought of a new punishment for you to teach you against pulling absurd pranks on school grounds.
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee motions at the box of pranks on his desk as Archie walks up to his desk.
Mr. Weatherbee: As a symbolic act that you understand pranks, gags, and shenanigans have no place in Riverdale High, I want you to dispose of these years of collected "humorous" items.
Panel two: Archie frowns as he begins to take the box, but Mr. Weatherbee holds up a hand to stop him.
Archie: I'll just place them in the dumpster out back and head back to detention sir.
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie. You are not listening to me.
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee has a mischievous smile on his face as he talks to a confused Archie
Mr. Weatherbee: I don't want these on school grounds. PERIOD. You can take them anywhere else and do with them as you may as long as its not here.
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee winks at Archie as he punches his open hand with a fist. Archie is all smiles as Archie reaches for the box.
Mr. Weatherbee: Understand?
Archie: Do I!
Panel five: Archie dashes out of Mr. Weatherbee's office with the box of pranks as Mr. Weatherbee turns his chair to the side and leans back as he has a smile from ear to ear.
Archie: After detention, I'll take care of it right away, sir!
Mr. Weatherbee: That's a good boy.
Panel one: Reggie is sitting at a chair at The Chocolate Shop as he leaps out of his seat in alarm as it sounds like he farted. The panel should be a lower view to show that a small walkie talkie is taped to the seat. In the background, we can see Archie making the nose. Jughead is walking by Reggie, pinching his nose while eating a burger.
Panel two: Reggie is talking with Veronica in Pickens Park as an air plane with a small chute at the bottom drops several ice cubes down Reggie's back as Reggie's tilts his body back and shivers. Veronica looks on with a smile.
Panel three: Reggie is running down a district of Riverdale past Moose and Midge as he has several toy teeth biting his rear. Moose nearly falls over laughing as Midge has to hold him up while giggling at Reggie.
Panel four: Reggie is in his bathroom looking in a mirror to see that the shampoo he washed his hair with has turned his hair purple.
Panel five: Archie is outside of Reggie's house in the early morning as Reggie has a ball cap over his head as he is just outside. Archie is peeking from the side of Reggie's house as he blows on a dog whistle. Reggie is confused as he is holding up a T-bone steak left out for him that reads: FOR REGGIE.
Panel six: Reggie is being pounced on by Hot Dog, Rebel, Runty, Vegas, and several other dogs as they try to get the steak.
Panel one: A happy Archie is walking down the hallway as he waves hello to an arriving to his office Mr. Weatherbee who is wearing a long coat and hat.
Archie: Hello, Mr. Weatherbee.
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie.
Mr. Weatherbee: I trust you took care of that rather nasty box.
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee and Archie turn their heads as a battered, bruised, tattered clothes wearing, purple haired Reggie is staggering towards them.
Panel three: Reggie looks at Archie in pure fright.
Panel four: Reggie begins to run away from Archie as several students move out of the way of the panicking Reggie. Mr. Weatherbee is pretending that he is covering his mouth for a cough while he is secretly laughing at Reggie.
Archie: Yes. Yes, I did.
Character introduction page.
Shot inside of a comic con with Jess and Kelly each looking at their cosplay costumes with a mix of disgust and confusion. Stewart is next to them reading Dracula Woman and Fang Girl as he doesn't notice the blond attractive witch behind him. The witch, Videl, is peering over at Jess and Kelly. On Videl's shoulder is a black cat with a chipped right ear. Vera is close to Stewart as she rolls her eyes. In front of Stewart is a two foot tall old school black and white Mickey Mouse cartoon vampire bat striking a pose.
Caption: Jess and Kelly two newly vampires about to enter another world of weirdness.
Caption: Stewart: Comic book lover turned creator who wants to cash in on the comic book movie/ tv show boom.
Caption Vera. Stewart's now real girlfriend and dealing with the consequences of dating an ambitious geek.
Caption: Videl. Wicked Witch. What could she want with our two favorite vampires?
Caption: Pagan. A cat. Likes yarn and mouse heads.
Caption: Bumpy the Vampire. This mischievous little fellow has infiltrated our set. Can you help security find him?
Panel one: Close up on a 3/4ths moon (Waxing Gibbous).
Caption: Super Suckers filmed in front of a live studio audience...except this small scene filled on location in the back woods of Lima Bean, Ohio. Your check is in the mail.
Voice off-panel: Ah, my love, what a beautiful night.
Panel two: The setting is a path along a forest area with the trees covered in shadow for a later reveal. A man a suit and tie and a woman wearing a black dress and gloves is walking through a forest area. The man is much more happier than the woman who looks like she would rather be anywhere else. The woman is Videl Lilit. She looks to be in her mid twenties with long blond hair and blue eyes. Percy Pangle, the man, he's much older so the reader gets she's just marrying him for his money.
Percy Pangle: And while I'm glad to be home, it's a shame our honeymoon had to end.
Videl: For you maybe.
Panel three: Percy walks ahead along the path with outstretched arms.
Percy: We're rich, in love, and we've got the rest of our lives together...
Percy: What could ever go wrong?
Panel four: Angle from over Percy's left shoulder as Videl's eyes glow red as she prepares to use her magic powers.
Videl: It could turn out you married a witch who only wanted to accumulate more vast wealth and you have now outlived your usefulness. Speaking off which...
Videl: Et in lingo.
Percy: What was that--?
Panel five: Percy looks down at his feet to see that they are becoming wooden and his arms and hands are becoming tree limbs and branches as Videl's eyes and hands glow even redder. In her right hand, a broom stick is forming.
Videl: It's Latin.
Videl: A dead language for a dead man.
Panel one: Videl looks at the tree that was Percy Pangle as it has a screaming face in the bark and is about her size. With her right hand she taps the ground with the end of the broom.
Videl: If only you had been better in bed, Percy Pangle the 7th... I might have held this off for another week or two.
Panel two: Videl looks over at several nearby trees who have screaming faces in their bark (to show that she's been doing this to people for a long, long time). In the shadows small yellow eyes are glowing near the ground.
Videl: Oh well.
Videl: You can come out now, snookums.
Panel three: A black cat springs from the darkness and into Videl's outstretch arms. The cat has a chipped left ear.
Videl: That stupid, stupid man is gone and baby has an all new scratching post for himself.
Panel four: Videl looks at Pagan in her hands and notices her hands have aged and have become wrinkly and withered.
Panel five: Videl looks up at the sky and sees the 3/4th moon as she cradles Pagan in her arms as Pagan playfully swipes at the broom bristles.
Videl: Has it been nearly fifty years? The time does fly. If only immortality came with eternal youth...
Videl: We need to find two vampires. Immediately. And woe to those vampires for they know not what evil they will soon face.
Panel one: Location is Jess's room as we have a close up on Jess and Kelly as they are looking ahead at something. Kelly is confused and trying her best to be nice as she feigns a smile while raising her left eyebrow up. Jess is much more blunt and looking annoyed. Both are sitting at the head of her bed.
Caption: SUPER SUCKERS
Caption: THAT LADY IS A REAL WITCH (insert other stuff)
Kelly: Well, that's, um, sure...a thing you're showing us. It exists. It's part of reality. And...that's good. Real good, right, Jess?
Jess: Yeah, about as good as being ripped apart by a shark.
Stewart off-panel: And that's what I'm saying!!--it can be even better once you--
Panel one: Over the heads of the sitting Jess and Kelly as we now see what they are looking at. Stewart and Vera are in front of them. Stewart, wearing a red shirt with a white dot in the middle (commercial promotion), has set up a stand with a chart which reads: DRACULA WOMAN & FANG GIRL. Both are drawn to resemble Jess and Kelly respectively and draw similar to the Silver Age art style. Dracula Woman (colors mostly black and purple) is wearing the traditional one piece suit (ala Ms. Marvel or Psylocke) a black domino mask, and a purple cape that goes just past her shoulder blades. Fang Girl is wearing cheerleader like garb which I mostly red and black with a red domino mask. Stewart is smiling as he motions towards the chart. Vera with a giant chocolate chip cookie in her mouth strikes a similar pose at the chart. Next to Stewart is a duffle bag with a comic titled CAPTAIN COURAGOUS with a muscular man wearing a Captain America like patriot garb peaking out.
Stewart: Help your ol' pal, ol' friend, Stewart launch a one of a kind, brand spankin' new original comic--
Stewart: --Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!!
Panel two: A dejected Stewart looks at the girl as Kelly tilts her head in confusion while Jess folds her arms across her chest and turns her head as if trying to avoid the stench of something awful ahead.
Kelly: Wait...Dracula's a guy. He can only change into a bat, right?
Pane three: Vera shrugs her shoulders as she finishes off the cookie as bits of it fall to the ground where a box of Cool Cookies (another commercial promotion) is lying on the ground.
Vera: Yeah, I don't get that either, but when you love someone, you support them no matter how fool a thing they're doing.
Stewart: You're not helping, love of this phase of my life's journey!
Panel one: Jess quips at Stewart as Stewart smirks at her in pride of his idea.
Jess: So you want us to read your stupid comic.
Stewart: No! I want you to help launch my franchise so I can be stupid rich!
Panel two: Stewart has flipped the chart over to show a picture of a comic book with an arrow pointing to a dollar sign with the no symbol over it. Vera folds her hands on the left side of her face and tilts her head as she looks lovey dovey eyed.
Stewart: Look, comic books are nice. Super even. But they're only the stepping stone to bigger success.
Caption: Unless you're reading Sitcomics, like I know you are, you smart, wonderful person you!
Vera: I love it when my boo-boo talks all entrepreneur and suave.
Panel three: Stewart has flipped the chart page over to a new one showing an image of a comic book, a plus sign, a contract and an equal sign ending with an image of Stewart making out with a dollar sign while the words RICH, PRICKS!!! is underlined three times underneath the drawing. Vera is doing the money hand signal while she sings.
Stewart: That's why you need to sell your property off to Knitflicks or a movie studio! They put it in live action and the people can't get enough! Your rolling in dough like a keibler elf!
Vera: Millions of dollars! Millions of dollar! Millions and millions of dollars and dollars!
Panel four: Stewart face palms as Kelly is still questioning about Dracula Woman as Jess looks on with a smile as Stewart slams his hat to the ground.
Kelly: So Dracula is transgender?
Stewart: It's not Dracula! It's Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!
Entire page is drawn like an 80s comic. (SILVER AGE)
Panel one: A close up on a planet in outer space where the one continent is shaped like two fangs. No sun in sight because, well, it's a planet where everyone is a vampire.
Caption: Okay, just listen...
Caption: In the vast reaches of space five miles past the Milky Way Galaxy was the planet of Vlad, home to the space vampires.
Panel two: A space ship shaped like a werewolf's head is using a tractor beam to pull a green sun towards Vlad.
Caption: For a millennium they had battled the Intergalactic Werewolves and thought they had destroyed them all until a surviving faction brought a burning green sun--
Panel three: A shot of the green sun set in place causing Planet Vlad to erupt in fire. The werewolf head ship is rocking back and forth in celebration with the mouth part showing a grin.
Caption: --And destroyed the planet!! Killing everyone!!!
Panel four: A small black space ship zips out of the flaming planet and past the confused werewolf head ship.
Caption: Except for a single, solitary space ship.
Werewolf space ship:
Panel five: A shot of the black space ship heading towards earth.
Caption: And earth welcomed its newest champions...
Panel six: On the streets of a city, Dracula Woman and Fang Girl are battling intergalactic werewolves (Werewolves wearing spaceman uniforms). Dracula Woman is holding one scared intergalactic werewolf over her head while Fang Girl is doing a double leap kick at two others.
Caption: Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!!!
Caption: And the neverending--du du duh--battle continues!
Panel one: Stewart is gleaming with pride as sticks out his chest. Kelly and Jess look blankly at Stewart.
Stewart: Well, what do you think now?
Panel two: The girls start pointing out all the flaws in his comic's origin story as his face stretches and his eyes somber.
Kelly: So they just happen to be named "Dracula Woman and Fang Girl"?
Jess: How is five miles past the Milky Way, our galaxy, the vast reaches of space?
Kelly: Did they always dress like that?
Jess: They had a space ship. If they had one, shouldn't everyone on Planet Vlad have one?
Panel three: Stewart is stomping his left food on his right foot in rage.
Stewart: You're putting too much realism into the concept!!!
Panel four: Stewart is jumping up and down on one foot as Vera just wants to get this over with.
Vera: Okay, this is gone on way longer than I thought and if I miss my Maury and don't see some baby daddies get got, I can't sleep peacefully tonight.
Panel five: Vera is talking with Kelly and Jess as they look on.
Vera: Look, Stewie wooie is going to take his comic to the local comic con, and he wants you gals to dress up--
Vera: Whatever. Pretend you're the characters while he tries to get signed on to by a studio who wants to make this into a movie or show or something that puts the ching ching dollar dolla in the piggy bank!
Panel six: Kelly and Jess are talking with Vera as Stewart is still hopping around in pain.
Kelly: Vera, I don't even read funny books.
Stewart: Action adventure books!
Jess: Same. Plus last time I made believe was my elementary school play of Red Riding Hood. I was a rock.
Finally caught up on Riverdale (see my reviews do relate to Archie Comics!) on my DVR and--well, at least I liked the last episode. Look, I get that this is darker, but I think you can do dark and have likable and intelligent characters. Seriously, out of all of Riverdale, only Fred Andrews is a decent human being at this point. I really liked the first season, but I thought season two was pretty rotten. Really bad writing.
Speaking of bad writing, I'll be posting another Super Sucker fan fic soon.
But now onto good writing and everything else that a comic needs....THE BLUE BARON.
When we last left off Blowback was on a rampage, consumed with vengeance on Cedric Carson. Now alone, can The Blue Baron/Ernie Rodriguez defeat the day? And what of the Blue Baron, stuck in a teenage body, facing off against a school bully. How both fights end might surprise you.
The writing. Whoa. This issue hits like a sledgehammer to the gut. There isn't as much humor as the other issues, but just the emotion, just the reactions to Ernie and the Blue Baron at the end of the issue is heartbreaking because both are in situations where they are helpless to do anything; one because he lacks the maturity and experience the other trapped outside of his life.
And for anyone worried, it's not all depressing. You get some funny moments with Wanda "Mayday Parker Lives On" Rodriguez confronts Ernie Baron after the fight and his deadpan reaction. Jenna, the blond haired girl from last issue, moments with Ernie Baron are sweet and I already like her. And the mirroring of Blue Baron and Ernie and what's going on at the same time was great work.
And the issue leaves you wanting more as potential storylines and threats are introduced. As Rossi and Bishop are set to be more of a presence and a mystery from the first issue is solved.
And let me put it to you this way. Normally, I give details because, this came out in the first of the year, but I think it would be best for anyone who is reading or wants to read this comic to pick it up with a pretty clear mind on what to expect. It's that good.
The art. Ron Frenz is really great here. Just the emotion of the characters. Just the facial expressions of the aftermath is really stunning. This might be the best work that I've seen from him. It certainly stands out. The coloring and lettering for emotional responses were appropriate. The inking really shines in this issue. Excellent work from everyone involved.
Battle Blogs. Yeah, I didn't mention these the last few issues because, well, it was about Start-up and I'd like no spoilers if I ever get more than one issue of the series. But this issue is cool as we have one about Blowback. Nothing special but I was always a fan of the TMNT sourcebooks that went over the history and power of the character...then the stupid internet happen and made it all pointless.
I think one character could have used more flexing out. Heck, this issue I just learned he knew Cedric Carson/Blue Baron were the same person. I have gone back three times and I don't see anything that would make me believe this character knew Blue Baron's secret identity.
What I learned from what I read.
Wanting to go back to where you were held hostage by a supervillain makes you the second stupidest man alive.
Overall: Well, it's not the funniest of the issues, but if you were wanting more drama and gravitas, here you go. My favorite issue up to this point. Everything hits the mark. The art, writing, coloring, pacing it's all superb.
It's an A.
So yeah, this is a series you should be reading. Great quality for an insanely low price.
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is in his office with Vice Principal Drill Sergeant Howitzer at his side standing in attention as Mr. Auberjonois is slamming a stack of papers down on Mr. Weatherbee's desk that have several dollar signs on them along with the name Archie Andrews. Mr. Auberjonois is a tall lanky middle age man with a bushy mustache and a large round nose and a bulging forehead. He has small beady eyes and his hair brown turning white. Mr. Weatherbee is trying to be patient but rolls his eyes upwards as he clearly doesn't want to humor School Board member Mr. Auberjonois
Mr. Auberjonois: Weatherbee these costs! Plumbing! Reconstruction of school grounds! Damages to school property ranging from hallways, to lockers, to classroom instruments--
Mr. Auberjonois: --and the school board and I are supposed to believe that one student caused all of this wanton destruction?
Mr. Weatherbee: You have to live it to believe it, Mr. Auberjonois.
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois continues to yell as he slaps the stack of papers across the room. Mr. Weatherbee looks on in surprise.
Mr. Auberjonois: Don't be smug with me, Weatherbee! I know how crooks like you operate! Trying to milk the school district for money with these fraudulent claims! Blaming an innocent student!
Mr. Auberjonois: I'll have your bank accounts taken in for evidence! I'll see you thrown out of this school, you chiseller!
Panel three: Sgt. Howitzer becomes enraged as he begins to defend Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee sticks his hand out to prevent any physical altercation. Mr. Auberjonois begins to cower and back pedal.
Sgt. Howitzer: Sir! Commanding Officer Waldo Weatherbee is a man of incontestable honor! A man who I would gladly die for--and kill for if ordered!
Mr. Weatherbee: They'll be no need for that, Sergeant Howitzer.
Panel one: Mr. Auberjonois goes back to being smug as he regains his cool and straightens out his jacket as Mr. Weatherbee stands up from his desk.
Mr. Weatherbee: But I do find these unsubstantial allegations insulting.
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois points at a picture of Archie clipped on a folder file on the desk.
Mr. Auberjonois: The proof is in the pudding! Let me shadow this Archie Andrews. If he's as accident prone as you claim, it will substantiate your claims and vindicate you!
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois has a smug smile on his face as he rubs his finger against his bushy mustache as Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer leer at him.
Mr. Auberjonois: Of course, once you're proven the fraud, you'll be relieved of your position, resulting in much needed changes to the faculty and renovations.
Mr. Weatherbee: A staff fitting your approval and renovations provided by your construction company, I take it.
Mr. Auberjonois: Just doing what I can for the children.
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer are bending down picking up the pages Mr. Auberjonois knocked down as he strides out of the office as he has his nose stuck up high in the air.
Mr. Weatherbee: Well, I suppose, if you insist...
Mr. Auberjonois: I do insist!
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer casually talk with one another as they collect all the scattered paper.
Howitzer: Sir, should I accompany Mr. Auberjonois to the danger zone, sir?
Mr. Weatherbee: No. I would hate for someone worthwhile to be caught in the line of fire.
Howitzer: Thank you, sir!
Panel one: Archie is at his locker as he is having trouble opening it. In the background, Mr. Auberjonois is walking towards Archie as he is bumped into by Chunk.
Auberjonois thinking: So many miscreants. Now where is--
Archie: Darn locker! Always gets stuck!
Auberjonois thinking: That's Archie Andrews.
Panel two: Archie is continuing to try and get his locker open as he is using both arms and one foot pressed against another locker to gain better leverage as Mr. Auberjonois is about right next to him, in direct path of where the locker door would go.
Auberjonois thinking: Hm. He's obviously a dullard, easy to see why Weatherbee would take advantage of this poor, unfortunate--
Panel three: Archie uses all his strength to open the locker as the door swings back and rams into Mr. Auberjonois, causing a deep face indention into the locker.
Archie: GOT IT!!
Panel four: Archie looks on as Mr. Auberjonois falls to the ground with red and blue pain stars over his head and his eyes glazed over as he falls straight on his back with his arm and legs sticking up straight. Svenson is walking by with a small hammer as he notices the indentation Auberjonois' face made as he prepares to hammer the locker back into form. In the background, Reggie is pointing and laughing at Mr. Auberjonois.
Archie: Gee, Mr. I'm sorry, mister! I didn't know you were there!!
Auberjonois: ...that's okay...I like astronomy...red stars...blue stars...
Svenson: Yumpin' liminey! Again vith the hammering for ol' Svenson!
Panel one: Archie is walking along as Mr. Auberjonois has a bandage wrapped around his head as he talks with Archie. Mr. Auberjonois is trying to hide his anger and disdain for Archie.
Archie: Wow! So the school board wants you to follow around a student to see how it is for us teens?
Auberjonois: Yes--we deeply care about you all and want to see that you get what you deserve.
Panel two: Veronica, Midge and Moose are walking up to Archie as Archie has small hearts over his head. Veronica is smiling and waving at Archie. Midge is right behind Veronica as she looks lovingly back at Moose.
Veronica: Archiekins! I just got an A on American History thanks to your tutoring. You deserve a reward!
Archie: A R-r-reward...?
Archie: Like...maybe a kiss?
Panel three: Veronica has her lips puckered up as Archie closes his eyes and leans in to kiss her. Walking by is Betty whose ponytail springs up in alert as she sees what is about to happen. Mr. Auberjonois looks on with disdain.
Auberjonois: Hmph. Kissing in the hallway. They won't be doing none of that in my ideal school!
Panel four: Veronica is pulled away from Archie as Archie still has his eyes closed as he does not know that he is kissing Midge who is wide-eyed with surprise. Moose looks on enraged.
Panel five: Archie opens his eyes to see that he is kissing Midge. Midge motions with her eyes towards where Moose's chest is as the rest of him is off panel.
Panel six: Archie looks up even more to see Moose enraged and about pummel Archie. In the background, a angry, cross armed Veronica is glaring at Betty who shrugs her shoulders in an "oops" type manner.
Moose: Duh! Yer kissin' my girl!
Panel one: Archie backs away as he nearly bumps into Auberjonois who is timid and has no idea what to do to stop the altercation.
Archie: Wait, Moose! Wait! It was an accident! I swear!!
Moose: Duh, and now you're swearing in front of my sweetie!? Now yer really gonna get it!
Panel two: Archie ducks as Moose hits Mr. Auberjonois with a haymaker that knocks out of the panel and leaves only his shoes and socks left in the air.
Panel three: Coach Kleats and Coach Clayton are admiring the new trophy case at the end of a hallway as they admire it as all the trophies, medals, and plaques are shined up and sparkling.
Coach Clayton: I have to admit, this really is quite the sight!
Coach Kleats! It's the greatest! This display will be here long after we're gone, but our team and legacy will be remembered forever.
Panel four: Mr. Auberjonois rockets into the trophy case completely destroying it as Coach Clayton leaps on Coach Kleats to save him from shards of glass heading his way. Trophies, medals, wood, and glass spring everywhere.
Panel five: Coach Kleats is crying on Coach Clayton's shoulder as they look at the wreckage that was the trophy display and the trophies as they all have been dented or broken and lying along the ground. In the heap of the trophy display a battered and bruised Auberjonois is barely conscious as he has a dented trophy on his head and several medals wrapped around his nose. Svenson is walking along and motions with his hands upward as he now has even more work to do.
Coach Kleats: Sniff Sniff
Coach Clayton: There, there, coach. Buck up. We still have the memories.
Panel one: Archie is walking in his biology classroom as he holds the door open for Mr. Auberjonois whose clothes is even more torn and battered and his hair out of place. The wrapping around his head is being undone. Behind Archie near a lab table is a glass case filled with frogs. Auberjonois, with teeth gritted, glares at Archie hatefully.
Archie: I'm really sorry about that, sir!
Mr. Auberjonois: It's all right. My spine absorbed the impact.
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois begins to back away from the class room as he notices the frogs in the case. Archie is walking along as he doesn't notice a sign reading CAREFUL WET as the floor had just been cleaned. Archie is looking back as he continues his conversation.
Mr. Auberjonois: I...I'm going to make myself scarce. I'm allergic to frogs. Just one of those slimy creatures makes me break out in hives.
Archie: Really? I've never heard of being allergic to frogs.
Panel three Archie begins to slip and slide as he heads towards the table and the frog display.
Archie: Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey! Ah! Ah!
Panel four: Archie bumps into the table with enough force as it causes a the glass lid to pop open as the frogs leap out of the case and hop pass Archie. One of the frogs has a thought balloon of itself sitting on a log in the bayou playing a banjo.
Frogs: ribbit ribbit!
Panel five: Archie turns around to see the frogs have landed on Mr. Auberjonois and he has broken out into hives as his face has swollen three times and his lips are puckered tight. Trula Twyst, Vic, Danny, and Chloe look on. Chloe is taking pictures of Mr. Auberjonois with her phone as she sticks her tongue out in disgust.
Archie: Hh. Now I've hear and seen someone allergic to frogs.
Panel one: Mr. Auberjonois is sitting in the nurse's office as his face is still swollen as Archie helps him sit down at the table. Ms. Armstrong (pretty blond nurse) is talking with Archie
Ms. Strongarm: My, Archie. What happened to this man? It looks like he was assaulted!!
Panel two: Archie accidentally steps on Mr. Auberjonois' left foot as he walk towards Ms. Armstrong. Mr. Auberjonois winces in pain as it jolts from his foot to his spine and his fingers curl.
Mr. Auberjonois: mmmphhhhrrr!!
Archie: Oh. He said he was allergic to frogs and he touched a few in my biology class.
Ms. Armstrong: Tsk tsk. Some people just think they're invincible.
Panel three: Ms. Armstrong whispers into Archie's ear as he nods.
Ms. Armstrong: A few shots should bring down the hives and swelling, but I need him relaxed and the size of the needles could stir him.
Archie: I'll keep him distracted, Ms. Armstrong.
Panel four: Archie has a smile on his face as he talks with Mr. Auberjonois as Mr. Auberjonois glares at Archie. Ms. Armstrong is reaching into a drawer in the background.
Archie: Hey, Mr. Auberjonois! Want to hear about the time me and my family went to the Grand Canyon. It was great, we took pictures and met people and we even saw--
Panel five: Archie looks past Mr. Auberjonois as he sees the giant size needles that Ms. Armstrong is about to use to give a shot to a suddenly aware Mr. Auberjonois. The needle is a good ten inches long. Ms. Armstrong has his Mr. Auberjonois sleeve rolled up.
Archie: --The biggest needles I've ever seen in my life!!!
Panel six: Outside of the nurse's office as Raj, Rob, and Shrill look towards the nurse's office as Mr. Auberjonois screams in a pain and fear.
Mr. Auberjonois in the nurse's office: MMMRRRHHHHHOOOWWW!!!
Panel one: Archie is walking into the school library as Mr. Auberjonois is keeping his distance. He's in even worse shape as his head is red, slightly swollen and his clothes are even more in a sad state. His hair is sticking straight up. He is not looking at Archie as he is looking and rubbing his arms where he had to get his shots from the school nurse. The double doors of the library door are about to hit Auberjonois.
Archie: I'm really sorry, Mr. Auberjonois! But the swelling has gone down!
Mr. Auberjonois: Yes. Those long, bone piercing shots really did the trick--!
Panel two: Archie looks ahead happily as he waves at Bobbi who is sitting at a table going over a text book; she waves back. The double doors swing back and hit Mr. Auberjonois right on the nose as he winces.
Archie: I like to come here during the free period and read a good book.
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois jolts behind a book shelf as he holds his nose and tries to get away from Archie. Archie looks on in confusion.
Mr. Auberjonois: Fine! Just do it far away from me!!
Panel four: Archie is walking away along the book shelves to the very last one at the end as Mr. Auberjonois peeks from his hiding place like the book shelf is a barrier protecting him from all harm.
Mr. Auberjonois: I don't care what's happened to me! The damages to the locker, the display case, the frog loss--it still proves nothing!!
Panel five: Mr. Auberjonois tries to fix up his tatter of a tie as he tries to regain his calm, arrogant disposition.
Mr. Auberjonois thinking: ...Just little mishaps. Flukes. Weatherbee's neck is in the noose and I'm going to see him dangle from it!
Panel one: Archie is at the other end of the book shelves as he is reading The Wizard of Oz as he eyes go wide with what he is reading. Archie is leaning against the book shelf as it begins to wobble. Ms. Laurrette is walking past Archie as she carrying a copy of King Lear under her arm.
Archie thinking: Wow! The book is way different than the movie! I'll have nightmares about the Tin Woodsman and that ax!
Panel two: The shelf begins to fall back and hit the other shelf to knock that one back as it begins a domino effect. Archie nearly falls backwards, but Ms. Laurrette grabs him and keeps him from falling back.
Ms. Laurette: Archie! Careful these old shelves are unsteady!
SFX: THWUM THWUM
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois is dialing a number on his cellphone as he has his back turned and does not notice the books shelves falling over with his shelf being next. He has a thought balloon over his head where a cartoon version of Mr. Weatherbee is being kicked out of Riverdale High to help illustrate his hypocrisy.
Mr. Auberjonois: I'm going to call an emergency school board meeting and give out my fair and unbiased report....
Panel four: A shadow falls over Mr. Auberjonois as he looks resigned in his fate as he clicks off the cellphone.
Mr. Auberjonois: (Sigh) Nevermind...
Panel five: Ms. Laurrette and Archie look ahead as they see Mr. Auberjonois get squashed by the book shelf off-panel. Ms. Laurrette's face twists at what she sees as Archie winces as it looks so bad even he feels the pain.
Ms. Laurette: "There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt." Erma Bobeck.
Archie: What does that mean, Ms. Laurette?
Ms. Laurette: Be grateful we're on the safe side of the line.
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is in his office as he is preparing to leave for the day when the phone on his desk begins to ring.
SFX rring rring
Mr. Weatherbee: I wonder who this could be?
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee answers the phone as he has a smile from ear to ear.
Phone: I'm just calling you to inform you that my investigation...is put on hold.
Mr. Weatherbee: Oh. Mr. Auberjonois, I heard about your accidents. I hope you're feeling better.
Panel three: A shot of Mr. Auberjonois in his hospital bed as his arms and legs are in casts and on slings as his head is heavily bandaged. He has his cellphone leaned to his left ear as he tries to keep it to his face.
Mr. Auberjonois: Don't be smug, Weatherbee! You and your little freckle face assassin haven't seen the last of me!
Archie off-panel: Mr. Auberjonois, is that you...?
Panel four: Archie Andrews is walking into the hospital room as he is carrying a boutique of flowers that has several bees in it as Mr. Auberjonois goes wide eye with fear.
Mr. Auberjonois: Oh no.
Archie: I'm really sorry what happened, so I came as soon as I could. I could buy any flowers, but I found these fresh ones that just smell great.
Archie: Here. Take a whiff.
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee begins to put the phone down as Mr. Auberjonois is screaming in agony on the other end.
The phone: The bees! The bees! They're in my eyes! They're in my eyes!! AHHHGG--!!
Mr. Weatherbee: I really need to remember days like this when Archie reports to my office.
Hm, pay sixty dollars for hog feed, 26 dollars for the church food bucket, and I was dumb enough to order my dad Taxi the complete series, which I did before the former two was sprung on me...
So it looks like my comics this month are at least the Power Rangers and...Batman or a Transformer comic.
Well, it's a good thing I'm a slow reader because here is The Blue Baron!!
Blowback. Our first serious villain. And he's everything you want in a villain. I think the best bad guys are the ones who totally believe in what they are doing is right; that they are the victim and only seeking justice/revenge.
Blowback was pretty much a hero who did great work for his country but an oversight caused him to be turn into a nuclear monster trapped in a containment suit. He has an irrational hatred of Cedric Carson, channeling his anger and blame into him; and he is a threat.
While he is irrational on ending Carson, he's smart. He defeats both Blue Ernie and Start-up. He's also smart enough to see people close to Cedric and take them hostage. He's gone through the valley and I'm loving it.
Writing I've already mentioned Blowback so let's talk about the rest. While Blue Ernie is grating on my nerves, when the more childish moments come into play its fun. Like him not knowing how to kiss. Ernie Baron taking down the school bully in the same manner a hero saving the world would with the same gravitas was funny.
And we get some real emotional weight to the story. Blowback is a truly tragic character with an origin story that really makes you regret seeing that person turn into this monster. And seeing Max and Stacy thinking Cedric, their boss, friend, one of his lovers, is a coward was sad. Event the nerd clique gets a moment to shine where they actually--even scared--do offer to stand with Ernie Baron for the fight.
The art. Ron Frenz is still doing a great job. My favorite scenes are actually the high school because it looks and feels like a high school cafeteria. I love looking at all the kids and how then come from different ethnicities and their clothing. And page 11 is pretty fun too. And the inking and coloring to Blowback's origin was well done. It really feels like Iraq and the various shades of green really hits home. And I love the Blue Baron logo when he's introduced in the issue. It reminds me of the old Sonic The Hedgehog comic. The good one with the Freedom Fighters. Yeah, I don't like Amy Rose. At all. Speaking of bad things...
Ernie's getting real annoying. Yeah, I've been reading an issue, jotting notes then reading the next issue and I have to say at this point, Ernie's really grinding my gears! I mean, it totally makes sense, but it doesn't mean it doesn't get on your nerves. Up until the last few pages it's been two issues of him being a tool.
Wow. Another person I'm going to have to wait an issue to learn there name. Seriously, MILO, you couldn't tell the blond girl's name!? And I'm still waiting for Ernie's dad's name!! Why is my pet peeve being breeded??
Oh well, that happened. Yeah Blowback took Stacy, Max, and that dillweed Mr. Shilling off panel. Wouldn't it have been great to see it? That seems like a really cool villain moment we missed out on. And to be fair, Blowback got a lot of good to him and you only have so many pages. Still, I'm of a "show don't tell" person.
No Wanda. Once again, denied the Spider-Girl jokes and callbacks I crave! If I wanted to feel like this, I'd just go back to reading Marvel Comics. Ba-dum-dum-chee!!
What I learned from what I read.
The Blue Baron IS a player.
Yeah, it's another good issue. Blue Ernie was kind of annoying--but he's a teen. And he does have the most interesting stuff going on. Blowback is a cool villain with a great origin. The art's as good as the other issue. There a still some minor things (WHAT IS THE DAD'S NAME?!?) but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't add up to a hill of beans. And honestly, if I wasn't doing this issue by issue and just read the story through most of the little complaints disappear.
It's a B+
What happens in the school yard brawl of death? Will Blue Ernie survive his battle against Blowback? Will I ever learn what the %$^& Ernie's dad's name is. I'm thinking at least we'll get two out of three of those...NEXT TIME.
PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 2.1
First off thank you to all veterans for all you have done for us.
Well, finally saw the Batman anime. It's okay. I don't think it's the greatest thing ever like everyone is letting on, but it's fun to watch if you turn off your brain off( (like Batman during the movie) and just have fun.
And it sounds a lot better than the Solo movie. I had a friend go see it and to quote him, "I want to punch Opie in the face!"
I think I should end all bad reviews like that.
But I'm not here to talk about an anime or a really angry Star Wars fanboy., so let's get started with the review.
Anyway, last we left off a nerdy 13 year old loser and his least favorite hero switched bodies. Luckily with Blue Baron's advice, Ernie was able to save the day after nearly blowing it. But it's a new issue, new challenges--let's review Blue Baron!!!
Ernie is a snot. So what do you get when a teenager suddenly becomes rich, can boss people around, and do whatever he wants when he wants--a little prick. And that's what Ernie is for the majority of the issue. He's letting Cedric Corp go while he just spends his time eating nachos and playing video games. When he's confronted with a chore he runs out or is just rude. And he dresses like a tool. And that's pretty much how it should be. And it is fun watching people react to their boss or friend like he's having a mid-life crisis...or he's just lost it. And we get some fun moments with "Stranger Danger" and him deciding to drive.
And Blue Baron is shown to be adjusting well. I like his wardrobe being like Bruce Wayne's and him rousing the troops to do something about Slater and his bullying way. And right now, he's the only adult guiding Ernie's life in anyway and the only person in the issue he shows respect to; like when he teaches Ernie how to shave. And I like the little internal war he's developing with Ernie's family as he hates Wanda and fears Rosa.
The Writing. So yeah the writing is fun. And humor is still great. Control Freak making Blue Ernie look like an idiot was a riot. Especially the hot coffee and the kids watching the hero fight but really wanting to play jump rope when it's over. I love Blue Baron's reaction Ernie's celebration as he's watching his respectability go down the drain. Ernie Baron's rousing speech to the geeks was great. And Ernie being a total brat was great. We get more information on Bishop and meet Rossi. And the issue ends on a great cliffhanger.
The Villains. Hey, we're building us a rogue gallery. This issue is Control Freak who can possess a body part of a person and is shown to be effect with it with how he holds up the bank and has Blue Ernie on the ropes the majority of their conflict. And it's nice seeing a villain in a loving relationship with another guy.
Then there is Blowback who is nuclear powered and can repel anything that comes his way. We don't know much about him but what we do know is good. He's not motivated by money--just revenge. He hates Cedric Carson and is vandalizing any facility that uses his security system just to bankrupt one of his divisions.
The art. Yeah, Ron Frenz kills it again this issue. I really like all the facial reactions the characters have reacting to Blue Ernie. I love the crazy eyed Blue Ernie on TV celebrating like a tool. I think my favorite pages might be Ernie driving and all the different angles and layout. Specially the second panel sums up everyone involved. Again I like the design for the villains and I really like looking at the background and all the different types of people.
The coloring, inking, and lettering is great. Love the word balloon shaped around Blue Ernie screaming while hot coffee is poured on him. And the coloring and inking two places stand out. The shading and diabolic look Ernie gets when he gets the idea to drive and the very last page with green light and the shading is superb.
Maybe Blue Baron could use more panel time. So far it's been more focused on Ernie as Blue Baron, and that makes sense since this is a hero book, but I would like to see more of Blue Baron adjusting to Ernie's life. I mean, I still don't know Ernie's dad's name, what his parents do for an occupation. And Rosa's a monster but we're not shown why. So in turn you have a portion of the supporting staff not getting much development as the other. Plus Wanda was not in this issue and I didn't get to make a Spider-Girl/Mayday joke this review. That is not acceptable.
What I learned from what I read.
Ernie's little sister name is Rosa.
Overall. Yeah, it's great issue. Everything's great. I only really have the slightest of nitpicks and even then it's not so bad because of the rest of the supporting cast and Ernie's situation is more fun and relevant to the plot of the issue. It's an A.
PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 1.2
Man, reading digital comics is a pain now. Stupid Windows photo keeps going with clicking on the curser and enlarging a portion of the comic...and the zoom doesn't work. I mean, yeah, I can reset it easily enough, but then it's right back up. Seriously, what doorknob at Microsoft thought this was a good idea? I decide what is good!!
When we last left off, Blue Baron was a top hero, Ernie was a loser; now, Blue Baron is Ernie and Ernie is Blue Baron and that has not been going well for either. Will this improve or is everyone in a lose-lose situation?
The first page. Oh well. There we go. That page would have solved a good bit of my problems with the first part. Honestly, it really should have been the last page for that section as it just works better, but hey--Ernie's mom's name is Wanda. ...gotta be honest, I was really hoping for "May."
Blue Baron and Ernie. I just like how they are reacting to their situation. Blue Ernie is an immature teen in a superhero/multi-millionaire's body and has no idea what to do. I think my favorite is when he goes to help the Hero Union against Bad Company. And...that's how it really should go with Blue Ernie just messing everything up because he doesn't know his powers, he doesn't know how to fight, teamwork in general and it's still pretty funny.
And I like how Blue Ernie interacts with various people because--he's a little snot. Nearly every teen is a know it all little snot. Like his rundown on poor Protége. He got called out and he lashed out.
And Ernie Baron is not having much luck either. He's going from a grown adult to a kid with a super smothering mom who won't give him any space. And he has to deal with Ernie's problems: like gym class and a bully named Slater.
And he's a jerk. Best way to describe him would be Hawkeye in Superman's body. He's abrasive, arrogant, doesn't think things through and is hot headed. But he's still a good guy. He's patient with Ernie, opens up to him and gives him the encouragement and advice he needed to save the day.
The writing. And now with the rest of the writing. It's still funny. No jokes I really didn't like. I like the parallel to how the last issue ended now with Blue Ernie having to find his way around a mansion. And the villains were super fun and wacky. And there's some depth like Maven being a former hero and ex lover of Blue Baron. And the heroes are fun and each distinctive. And honestly...I laughed out loud at Blue Ernie just tearing into Protégé. Yeah, it was savage but so true.
And while Ernie Baron has gotten he short end of the stick, I liked how you have a man with superpowers not stuck in teen's body and...well, there's a big difference. And his ongoing war with Slater should be fun. And I like how, hanging out with a younger generation...even he wanted to change his outfit. That leads to a nice moment from Ernie that shows real maturity and appreciation for Blue Baron's rich history.
And the action is really well done. Not to take away from Darin Henry, but I think a lot of that has to do with Ron Frenz.
The art and everything else:
Yeah this was a great issue. I loved the fight and how it was funny and action packed. Just a great range of angles and layout. And I really love Blue Ernie's facial expressions when he's about to screw up or he has to explain himself or take responsibility. And Ernie Baron and his angry, arrogant reactions to everything is fun to look at. Him trying to climb a rope or pick a fight with someone twice his new body's size. And I really appreciate how everyone is on model. A standard that has dropped in certain companies cuffMarvelComicscuff. My favorite pages would definetly be when Blue Ernie is "helping" The Hero Union and just the action and insanity of it all. Most of the insanity being Mr. Rollercoaster.
It's just nice to go back and see new things I missed in a comic the first time.
And the coloring and lettering is great like always. Glen Whitmore just kills it. And Sal Buscema does a great job enhancing the art with his inks, which makes sense since the two worked on Spider-Girl together. And let's give him credit for the cover which is really nice. Man, it's nice when a comic's cover actually has something to do with the story inside. Maybe it's just me, but most covers feel phoned in.
Hey, Ernie's dad and sister. Yeah, again, they don't get much to do with Ernie's dad getting a page and the little sister nothing. That'll probably change in the next issues and this comic does have a fairly numerous supporting cast, not to mention the main characters, villains, so someone's going to sit on the bench.
What I learned form what I read.
Blue Baron and The Phantom have a lot in common.
Yeah, this was a really great issue. This was a fun read and review write up. I mean, the writing was great, the art is great. Only critique I have is Ernie's dad and sister not getting much panel time or named. Some people might not like the design of some costumes but...it's humor-action book. What do you expect?
It's an A. With the quality and price you can't go wrong here.
Here we goes! Brand new reviews....of comics about five or six months old. Who knows, I might even review Start Up by the year 2020 at this break neck pace.
Before the thirteen stars and bars, there was a hero who fought taxation without representation with the speed of January gale and the strength of an oxen--The Blue Baron. And then there's Ernie: a bullied, superhero fanboy who gets way too many hugs from his mom. What happens when these two meet? Find out as we review BLUE BARON 1.1
Oh, and a brief keynote
Blue Ernie = Ernie in Blue Baron's body
Ernie Baron = Blue Baron in Ernie's body.
Memorize it. It will be your guide for the rest of the reviews.
The writing: This is a very funny book. I love the tour guide's talk on how he wasn't a scientist and the flashback red coat's "see which end of the rifle is effective for extracting information.". I like how there are superhero fantasy teams. And I can't think of a joke I didn't like. I also like the idea of a kid who follows superheroes becoming one of the heroes...just the one he thinks is a dork.
Blue Baron and Ernie are written well. We don't really get to see much of Blue Baron when he isn't in "witty banter mode" But from what we do get after the accident--he's kind of a jerk. Ernie's reactions and the brief fight he gets in with other heroes make sense--bullied kid who finally can fight back. And the reason for the fight is set up since the reflex makes total sense. And I like the bits of dialogue with Blue Baron using words like "continental" in place of money and Ernie with his ai dio mio. Just little things to make characters stand out.
And the issue does a great job of introducing the cast. We have the main characters. But we also get to see Ernie's geek clique, Slater and his gang of bullies, the Superhero Union, Carson Corp. The only people that get short changed are Ernie's dad and his little sister, but the last page does gives us a good idea what she's going to be like--annoying little sister. Hey, not all tropes are bad.
And we're set up to a few mysteries to explore in future issues such as who is The Mikado? And the Specimen 6? What is it?
The art: Ron Frenz does a great job. I've been a fan of his work since Spider-Girl so I was extremely happy to see that he is the artist and he doesn't disappoint. The characters are all drawn real well with various size, shape and personalities. I read you the dialogue and then show you the comic, you'd go, "okay, that's what I was imagining or I can see that." I already knew he could do action but his comedy is great. When Blue Ernie decides to test out his powers on some poor guy and his car is hilarious. Bull and Raider in their last panel is great with Bull just having the most happy face. The fight scenes have great energy and I love the way Blue Ernie is shown fighting: just thrashing about with his eyes closed. Something I'd see a wimpy nerd do.
Mayday lives! Yeah. Apparently Spider-Girl went to a different universe, got married, and had kids. Good for her. Because Marvel Comics are pretty bad right now.
The coloring and lettering. I like it all. The colors really pop. Especially the sound effects during fights. And the colors and style make sense like "Thug" is pretty simple and orange and when Ernnie spills his milk SPLASH is colored white or GOOSH is...how you'd imagine it. The lighting during the flashback stands out to me. And the inking by Sal Buscema is great. He always jelled really welll with Frenz in the Spider-Girl book and the magic is still there.
How the issue ends. Okay, I get that this is a comic split up into bits and it ends on a funny joke, but it does violate one rule of first issues I have...leave me wanting to read the next issue. Just some intrigue or a cliffhanger that can't make me wait to pick up the next issue. It jus doesn't hammer that for me.
A few names please. I kind of wish we had gotten the first names of Ernie's family. The mom especially since she's in it way more. I don't know, it's just a pet peeve of mine. Probably because (insert name) would be easier to write in a review than Ernie's little sister.
Bad tour layout. Haven't we learned anything about kids going on a field trip to anything scientific? Especially when there's a door labeled "RESTRICTED." 'Cause you know one of those little mutants is going to get all gamma powered up or something. Usually it's the loser nerdy kid.
What I learned.
That I was right in Freshmen American History; there were superpowered people who defended the colonists against the redcoats.
It's a good issue. The writing and art are great. Coloring and lettering is super. I can't say it's a great issue because the ending feels so abrupt and doesn't pull the reader to wanting the next issue immediately. And I hate when characters are introduced and not named that issue. I'll give it a B+
And for everyone who wants to give this a read, last I checked, this issue is free at the Sitcomics website. Check it out. Read it.
And now to review--THE ISSUES I HAD TO PAY FOR!!
PTF Reviews Super Suckers 4.1
Back by popular demand...one person! And that person is the creator! Will he regret that decision? Lets find out as we read--
Super Suckers cuatro el dotto uno!!!
Things I liked:
The writing. Hey, it's the first part for a story and it gets the ball rolling like it should do. We get to learn more about Jess and where she works. We're introduced to my new favorite character Ruben. We have the universe and everyone in it taking it to Stewart. You have continuity with Kelly's wackiness coming to bite her and Trevor wanting the date Jess promised him. Stewart dealing with Vera being in love with him is great. And I like that the universe and everyone not Vera just does not like him. Vera is great this issue with RHO as she pretty much does not half acknowledge the existence of what is going on. We're introduced to WILLLLOOOW JENKINNNNNSSS (no, sadly, she doesn't charge into the room recklessly) And we get a nice twist to end the issue. And I don't know why but in the basement during the coup planning, I like how they're in the dark and using candles. It's just so stupid and I love it.
The art. Hah. I love the kid sticking his tongue out at the readers on page 10 and the reactions he gets. It's just a fun way to introduce F.U.C and making it fun. And yeah, it's the normal great art by Shultz. Another sequence I liked is Stewart in the trash and having a bird fly involved in the scene gives a good indication of pace and time. It's just the Archie style done right. Too bad it's not being done at Archie, but I'll take greatness where I can find it.
Coloring and lettering. Standard good stuff I expect. I love Kelly's color scheme when she learns she could be kicked out of RHO. The yellows are great. Also the lighting in the basement. As for the lettering we have Tatiana's word balloon with the bold lines when she's responding to Jess on how her voice sounds deep when angry. Plus we get a few icy cold word balloons from Jess and Kelly.
The Gang's All Here: Well, if you wanted everyone in the comic back, you got it. And I think all the supporting characters have the time that each one warrants. So if you're a stickler for "everyone has to be in this comic." Here you go. Be quiet now!
Kelly: Last issue I had a problem with her being slightly out of character--A.K.A. being a major jerk. Well, she's back to be her nice self. We even learn her last name is Kellogg. Which fills me with hope that one day a character named D'Artagnan General Mills will grace the world. And with all the trouble being a vampire has causes her she now has to deal with a coup and having to get a popular band just to keep herself in RHO RHO RHO. I just thought she was a highlight this issue with her various reactions.
Paisley's turned heel! Before she was just acerbated by the wacky people around her, now she wants to take over! Or at least get rid of Kelly and Vera. I like this because it gives the Paisley character something to do, gives her more personality, and it does make sense since she didn't like Vera being put in the sorority and got her objections being shot down by Kelly. Also how Kelly's been acting since being a vampire. So it does make sense. Not saying it couldn't have used development, but I do like the idea and concept of it all and it will probably lead to some good stories later on. So it's definitely more good than bad.
Ruben: I like this guy. Just his reactions to different people are great. He has my favorite line in the comment on page 15 that made me laugh out loud for a good bit.
Things I did not like.
WILLOOOWWW JJEEENNNWARRGOOO...? Whuh?: When the National President of RHO RHO RHO was first introduced her name was Willow JENKINS. When Kelly enters kangaroo court, her name is now Willow WARGO. And this isn't the first time for the series as Paisley went by a different name (India) from one issue to the next before, hopefully, settling on Paisley. These little mistakes drive me crazy. I mean, I understand making mistakes. It's going to happen. I'm sure Darin Henry had and has a ton of other stuff going on. My problem is not catching it. This is just something you would see on a proofread.
"Paisley's been after my presidency since I was elected." I just wish that line wasn't there because--I just never got that attitude from any of Paisley's past issues., I like the concept and idea but the reasoning for it feels forced. I think it would work better if Paisley was upset that she was ignored (like in the first issue about wanting to paint lettering red two hours ago and letting Vera join RHO) and just Kelly's weirdness since becoming a vampire (see issue two with the make-up dilemma) and it just built up to her becoming an antagonist instead of having it just "she always wanted my job."
Hey where'd that candle go? Paisley had a candle with her in the basement and then it's gone. WHERE DID IT GO?! WHERE DID IT GO?!? Eh, I guess she could have put it down or something. Not that big a deal when you think about it...
No commercials. Eh, I guess some will miss them. I liked the story enough where I didn't miss them, but if you're into the feel of reading a sitcom then yeah.
What I learned from what I read.
Lyric is smarter than Summer, which is like saying a rock is smarter than poop.
Yeah, it's a super fun issue. The art and writing is the usual greatness I expect. Jess has workplace problems, Kelly has to find a way to stay in RHO RHO RHO, and Stewart has to deal with Vera. Vera...eh, she orbits reality occasionally like normal. It's a great read and fun. I like Ruben. Willow and Tatiana look to be fun antagonists going ahead for the rest of the story. And I like Paisley turning bad. I think the series needs a reoccurring villain. Like how Teddy Ruxpin had Tweeg.
I watched the Teddy Ruxpin cartoon when I was a kid. I'm old. I'm shocked I remember so much about it. But I'm not ashamed. Because there is nothing to be ashamed about. NOTHING
There are problems with this issue. Like not being able to keep characters names straight. It's just a constant problem this series has had. And I think Paisley's heel turn was forced; I think it should have been developed more.
But while annoying, name problems doesn't affect the Willow character and I like Paisley's new attitude in this story and where it could lead.
I give this issue a B+
So tune in next time when I review Super Suckers 4.2.!!!
PTF Previews Super Suckers 3.1.
Well, we're back. And before I begin the review, I want to give you, the readers, some helpful advice. Just because you have a warranty on something it doesn't mean: A) the people you have the warranty with will come when they promise and B) that they will actually FIX what is wrong.
So yeah, apparently seven hundred dollars down the drain.
But lucky for me, Sitcomics is back so there are comics I can afford!
Super Suckers is the story of two college girls turned vampires, their personal blood bank/butt monkey and their cavalcade of friends and one shot antagonist and the hot guy of the issue as they try to live their undead lives.
When we last left off: RHO RHO RHO House was haunted by a vengeful spirit, Jess was possessed and Kelly learned--wait wait, wait. Something's off. That sounds like a bad fan fic.
Anyway, let's get to the review.
Things I liked:
The Story. Hey, it's vampires at the beach, a deadly game of frisbee, and a guy ending up with his head in a horse's butt. That's what I want in every comic. And it's pretty funny from the start with the Amish County exit cracking me up all the way to Vera leaving Stewart to die alone.. And I like the dynamic of Jess and Kelly. Jess is more of a loner who really just wants to study, Kelly is a people's person who pretty much just wants to socialize and meet boys. The Stewart and Vera dynamic is great. I'm a big fan of going overboard with slang and dialect (probably why I'm the only person I know who likes Gambit, my hombres.) so I like the Spencer character. This the first part of the story and it leaves at a good point where I want to read the next issue, so it accomplishes a lot. So credit to Darin Henry, Jenn Lloyd and Kevin Bonani.
The Art. Jeff Shultz. This is probably the best art I've seen from him. It has everything I like. You have different locals, different people, different things, it's just amazing work. Yeah, the old, "everyone looks the same" old school Archie art criticism is not here. It has everything you want. Heck, it has what I like the most: stuff happening in the background. I love going back and seeing what I missed in a first reading. I just love how Jonas and Virgil are drawn, you instantly hate them. Just a lot of talent and versatility in this issue.
The coloring and lettering. Hey anytime I can see DONK and SLAMMO, I'm happy. And there's a good example of lettering making a story funny. There's a panel on page nine where it looks like a kid has the word balloons on a string. I'm pretty sure there is a real balloon with the word balloons put over it--and it's just funnier to me this way. So score one for Marshall Dillon. And off topic, he should really thank his parents for an awesome name. And Glen Whitmore is banging the colors once again. Jess's sunburn looks legit and it's just a wide range of colors from the grass to the ocean to the sand.
4. Senor Uva. It made me smile. And during this cold, harsh winter, I need reasons to smile since obviously heat will not be an option for me.
5. The Letter page. I don't normally read letter pages, but I went back and made special exception since one of our own is showcased. It was fun with Darin answering questions.
Things I didn't like:
Same commercials. Yeah, for anyone who's read the first two issues, we get just reprints of the old commercials. I mean, still good, but nothing new for me.
Didn't name Lyric and Summer. Nitpicky but they have appeared in every issue (well if we put the parts together). I mean, I knew them but if someone new was reading this they'd probably wonder who they were so probably a name drop would have been nice.
Things I've learned from reading this comic:
My dad would like this issue because it has a joke from his favorite movie, Police Academy.
This is a great issue. Makes me remember why I like the series, writing, humor, the art. It's just a great collaboration. Only had a few nitpicks here and there. And we still haven't met the nurse lady in the intro who I'm guessing is the bad guy of the issue. I got all six new issues at comixology for 1.99. I was going to get Blue Baron but I'm down 700 bucks and...they had Mighty Morphin Power Rangers on sale. So maybe next month?
Anyway, I give this issue an A. So anyone who hasn't read should give this series a chance. It's a super fun book.
So be here next time where we check on the condition of Stewart, learn how Jess will deal with being a fried tomato and if Kelly will date and/or eat Spencer. And other surprises I'm sure are in store in Super Suckers 3.2 Electric Boogaloo!
And yes, I will always make that joke.
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