collapse

* Random Image

Toni Topaz Fun Fact
Toni Topaz Fun Fact
Posted by: DeCarlo Rules
Posted in album: DeCarlo Rules

* Search


* Recent Topics

What comics have you been reading? by BettyReggie
[Today at 11:07:38 AM]


Betty and Veronica Vixens coming to an end with issue 10 by Tuxedo Mark
[June 22, 2018, 07:30:30 PM]


Library Books That You All Read by BettyReggie
[June 22, 2018, 05:11:06 PM]


Riverdale TV Series by johnsonjames
[June 22, 2018, 09:18:46 AM]


Latest Hauls, what did you buy? by BettyReggie
[June 21, 2018, 09:13:43 PM]


Days we look foward to as Archie Fans. by BettyReggie
[June 20, 2018, 05:26:49 PM]


What have you done today? by Archiecomicxfan215
[June 20, 2018, 12:55:56 AM]


ARCHIE COMICS FOR NOVEMBER 2017 by Tough guy21
[June 19, 2018, 01:52:27 PM]


What is to become of me and my collection? by JanaRonnie
[June 18, 2018, 05:16:32 AM]


Archie and Jughead in Winter Christmas Double Date by JanaRonnie
[June 18, 2018, 05:16:24 AM]

* Shoutbox

Refresh History
  • BettyReggie: My monthly Midtown Comics came today.
    June 22, 2018, 05:11:54 PM
  • Vegan Jughead: I'm gonna get it but I'm waiting for it to be at Barnes and Noble which I think will be July 10th or so. They released it to the direct market (comic shops) first.
    June 22, 2018, 09:15:13 AM
  • irishmoxie: Anyone get Archie at Riverdale Vol 1?
    June 21, 2018, 09:43:56 PM
  • BettyReggie: 112 Days until Wednesday 10th 2018 ,  Riverdale Season #3 on The CW at 8pm.
    June 20, 2018, 05:28:15 PM
  • Tuxedo Mark: And another one: [link]
    June 14, 2018, 08:42:07 PM
  • Tuxedo Mark: Riverdale spoof: [link]
    June 14, 2018, 08:35:22 PM
  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "Roughing It!" from B&V Friends #262: [link]
    June 14, 2018, 08:12:53 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: @irishmoxie -- It's definitely complete. All six of the 1958-59 Sy Reit/Bob White original issues, plus the feature-length "Good Guys of the Galaxy" by Tom DeFalco & Fernando Ruiz from ARCHIE #655, and three 5-page digest shorts that guest-starred Cosmo -- and the complete first issue of the Ian Flynn/Tracy Yarley COSMO (2017) thrown in for good measure. It follows the same layout/format as the previous JUGHEAD'S TIME POLICE, even though that didn't carry the "Archie Comics Presents..." trade dress. Not a bad buy for $11.
    June 14, 2018, 01:08:59 AM
  • irishmoxie: Anyone get the Cosmo book that came out today? Any good?
    June 13, 2018, 08:04:49 PM
  • Cosmo: Ah man....and I was worried I was the last enthusiast for ERB's stuff. I'm currently rereading my Dell Tarzan books. Really good fun! It took a while to complete that run.
    June 12, 2018, 06:51:53 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: ...Marvel's earlier JOHN CARTER, WARLORD OF MARS in there, so the DE Tarzan comics need to go in a different box, and SHEENA (also a recent DE title) and DC's RIMA THE JUNGLE GIRL will help fill up that box.
    June 11, 2018, 07:40:48 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: Recently. DE's unauthorized LORD OF THE JUNGLE Tarzan adaptations (and its authorized THE GREATEST ADVENTURE) won't fit into my existing box of previous Tarzan comics from Gold Key, DC, and Dark Horse, so I have to start a new box. Logically these get filed with DE's unauthorized WARLORD OF MARS comics (including DEJAH THORIS) and their authorized JOHN CARTER, WARLORD OF MARS. But I also want to squeeze Marve;
    June 11, 2018, 07:38:48 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: Interesting. I tend not to group titles by publisher at all, if the characters were not created as work-for-hire (meaning the publisher is legally considered the 'author' of the character). Do they belong to that publisher's "universe" (assuming it has one)? There are some publishers like Dynamite Entertainment where the vast majority of the titles they publish are licensed, and thus were "inherited" from other publishers. Therefore it makes more sense to me to group them together in boxes with similar characters. Flash Gordon, The Phantom, and Mandrake comics (regardless of who the actual publisher was) go together in the same box because they're all classic adventure heroes licensed from Hearst Entertainment (formerly King Features Syndicate). Pulp fiction heroes like The Shadow, Doc Savage, and The Spider (regardless of the fact that the latter did not originate with the same publisher as the first two) also get grouped together. Space considerations allowing, Tarzan (and other Edgar Rice Burroughs adaptations) might share the same box with Sheena and Rima, but NOT with Ka-Zar, because he's a Marvel Universe character.
    June 11, 2018, 07:16:22 PM
  • rusty: I do keep all Star Trek series together in their own section and all Star Wars books together.  I also keep all 2000AD titles together and manga books get their own section.  For titles that have switched publishers, I usually keep them all with the publisher that I identify them with the most.  Tarzan has been published by a variety of publishers, but I keep them with Dell/Gold Key.  Conan is starting to get a bit close with all the success Dark Horse has had, but I still identify Conan more with Marvel.
    June 11, 2018, 06:27:26 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: Believe it or not, I even have a box labeled "Pseudo-manga" that contains comics published by American companies and created by American creators like Astro Boy & Racer X (Now Comics), Battle of the Planets (Gold Key & Top Cow/Image), Captain Harlock (Malibu), Godzilla (Dark Horse) and Ultraman. I just want to keep those separate from the boxes of real translated manga in floppy comic format.
    June 11, 2018, 03:34:17 PM
  • DeCarlo Rules: Well. the problem is when you get titles with licensed characters that aren't owned by the publisher. So if you collect Star Trek comics, you'd have different series published by Gold Key, Marvel, DC, and IDW (and I probably missed one in there). It doesn't make sense to me to put them in different boxes by publisher, but to each his own. Disney comics would be another example. There are even some instances where if I like a certain artist enough, I will put all his work regardless of publisher or characters into one box, like Paul Gulacy, Steve Rude, or Mike Allred (and file them chronologically from older to newer, rather than alphabetically). Those are examples where my interest in the creator far exceeds my relative interest in whatever characters are involved.
    June 11, 2018, 03:14:29 PM
  • rusty: That makes sense.  There are many ways that people can file books.  What I do is file by company or category and then alphabetically within each section.  My first category is Richie Rich then Archie, then other Harvey titles, then Disney, then other humor/kids books, then by company (unless it is a company where I don't have very many books from them.  Star Trek and Star Wars each get their own section as well.  I will probably revamp a bit when I do my next major sort/merge.  The biggest section by far for me is DC.
    June 11, 2018, 09:28:59 AM
  • DeCarlo Rules: I don't even file my comics alphabetically. I file them according to how closely they're related to other titles, but it's all dependent on the number of issues I have of any given title, and what will fit into a single box. Fpr ACP comics I just put all the short-run series (whether an actual miniseries or just a not particularly successful title) into one box. Even though some of those short run series star Jughead, and I could as easily file those together with the main JUGHEAD title in another box. For longer running ACP titles, "girl" titles are sorted into different boxes than "boy" titles. Eventually when I have enough issues of BETTY (and BETTY AND ME and BETTY'S DIARY) they'll get their own box, and VERONICA will get her own box.
    June 10, 2018, 09:49:06 AM
  • rusty: I file Jughead under J and Reggie under R in all of their incarnations, though I do file the original Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen books under S since that keeps them with the Superman books and also because they kept that title throughout their entire run.  If anyone wants to look up Jughead or Reggie in Overstreet, though, they will have to look under A for the early issues.
    June 10, 2018, 07:56:27 AM
  • BettyReggie: I can't wait to get that Reggie book. It's coming out the day after my 39th Birthday.
    June 10, 2018, 06:42:06 AM

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Topics - PTF

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5
1
Fan Fiction / Archie & Me: Prank Attack
« on: June 17, 2018, 01:42:19 PM »
 Page one
 
Panel one: The setting is a Riverdale High School hallway as Archie is about to open his locker. Peering from a corner is Reggie who looks on with a sneer.
 
Reggie: Reggie Mantle, you’re a no good ne’er do well, but you do bad ever so well!
 
Panel two: Archie is surprised as twenty small super balls leap out of his locker.
 
Archie: Whah--!?
 
Panel three: Archie is stumbling around and falling as the bouncy balls are leaping all around him and are under his feet as he begins to trip.
 
Archie: Whoa! Hey! One at a time! Be fair!
 
Panel four: Archie falls on his backside as the bouncy balls seem to target him and begins to bounce on him as he tries to shield his head and back. Reggie looks on with a giant chuckle as several students gather around and laugh at Archie.
 
Reggie: Looks like you’re having a ball, Freckles! Lots of them!
 
Reggie: Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk!
 
Archie thinking: I don’t know what hurts worse: my pride from embarrassment, my rear because I fell, or my ears for hearing that joke!
 
Page 2
 
Panel one: Archie has a rubber band tied to two ends of a hallway as he stretches the giant rubber band out as it has a water balloon on it. Several students look on with perplexed looks.
 
Archie thinking: I don’t care if I get detention! I’ve been Reggie’s punching bag for over three weeks! I want payback!
 
Panel two: Archie is focusing dead ahead as he does not notice Reggie sneaking up on him.
 
Archie thinking: A man can only take so much!
 
Panel three: Archie is still focusing dead ahead as Reggie sticks his index finger at his mouth to signal for the readers to be quiet.
 
Archie thinking: Where is he?! He’s normally here by now so he can step on the back of my shoes while I’m walking to class!
 
Panel four: Archie lets go of the rubber band as Reggie yells right into Archie’s ear startling him.
 
Reggie: BOOGA BOOGA
 
Archie: AAAH
 
SFX: Fling
 
SFX: Splash
 
Panel five: Reggie is falling on the floor laughing as he points at a drenched Mr. Weatherbee who glares at Archie. In a pool of water, Mr. Weatherbee’s hair piece is floating. Archie’s face has gone white like he’s seen death itself. In the background Chloe is taking a picture while the Twitters are on their phones.
 
Reggie: Ha Ha Ha! Out of all the people! Only you, Arch! Only you!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Mr. Andrews. My office. NOW!
 
Page 3
 
Panel one: Archie is in Mr. Weatherbee’s office as Mr. Weatherbee is using a blow dryer to dry off his hair piece. Archie has his feet crossed under the chair and is gripping the arms of the chair tightly like he was about to see the executioner.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Of all the juvenile, bonehead, idiotic things--!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Explain yourself!
 
Panel two: Archie tries to explain as Mr. Weatherbee happily puts his hairpiece back on his head.
 
Archie: It’s Reggie! For the last three weeks he’s been pranking me nonstop! Spoiled milk, itching powder in my gym shorts, gluing me to the flag pole!
 
Archie:  I just wanted a little payback!
 
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee points at Archie to leave as Archie nearly trips over his own feet as he is getting out of his chair.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Revenge does not fly in my school, nor in society! An eye for an eye leads to blindness! You’ve got two weeks of detention! Now hurry to you next class.
 
Archie: Yes, sir…
 
Panel four: Ms. Grundy is walking into Mr. Weatherbee’s office as Archie has his head and arms lowered and his back arched as he looks totally defeated. Mr. Weatherbee waves it off.
 
Ms. Grundy: Seems you threw the book at him, Waldo.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: He launched a water balloon at me! Fair’s fair!
 
Page 4
 
Panel one: Ms. Grundy is talking with Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee looks over behind his desk at a box filled with various pranks like rubber chicken, paper airplanes, rubber chickens, and whoopee cushions. Just anything you want to throw in.
 
Ms. Grundy: Spoken like a rational adult!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I admit Reggie has far endeared himself as the class clown, but wanting to get back at someone is petty and disruptive.
 
Panel two: Ms. Grundy is smiling at Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee folds his arms and looks away.
 
Ms. Grundy: I’m not excusing Archie’s actions…but I can’t help think back to my days in high school when a certain boy was the butt of someone else’s fun.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Hmph. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
 
Panel three: Ms. Grundy is walking away as Mr. Weatherbee rolls his eyes upwards as a thought balloon begins to appear over his head.
 
Ms. Grundy: I’m just saying maybe a certain someone should be more sympathetic to his plight.
 
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee has a thought balloon of several pranks pulled at his expense by a big nosed kid with curly hair to a teenage version of himself. One image has the big nose teen clanging cymbals right behind Teenage Weatherbee’s ear. The next image has Teenage Weatherbee slipping on a banana peel as the big nose kid eats a banana. The next image is winter where Teenage Mr. Weatherbee has his nose frozen on a flag pole as the big nose kid laughs at him. The final image is Teenage Weatherbee talking with Teenage Grundy as the big nose kid puts a frog down the back of his shirt.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Hmmm…
 
Page 5
 
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee cups his hands over his chin as his stern facial expression eases.
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee looks at the box of pranks.
 
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee turns back to his desk and taps his nose with his index finger as he begins to think as he uses his other hand to go in the intercom.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Ms. Philips. Please call Archie Andrews to my office.
 
Ms. Philips. On the dot, sir.
 
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee has his hands clasped as he leans in his chair as he has the box of pranks on his desk as Archie enters his office.
 
Archie: You wanted to see me, sir?
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Yes. As I was sitting here, I thought of a new punishment for you to teach you against pulling absurd pranks on school grounds.
 
Archie: (Gulp)
 
Page 6
 
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee motions at the box of pranks on his desk as Archie walks up to his desk.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: As a symbolic act that you understand pranks, gags, and shenanigans have no place in Riverdale High, I want you to dispose of these years of collected “humorous” items.
 
Panel two: Archie frowns as he begins to take the box, but Mr. Weatherbee holds up a hand to stop him.
 
Archie: I’ll just place them in the dumpster out back and head back to detention sir.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie. You are not listening to me.
 
Panel three: Mr. Weatherbee has a mischievous smile on his face as he talks to a confused Archie
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I don’t want these on school grounds. PERIOD. You can take them anywhere else and do with them as you may as long as its not here.
 
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee winks at Archie as he punches his open hand with a fist. Archie is all smiles as Archie reaches for the box.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Understand?
 
Archie: Do I!
 
Panel five: Archie dashes out of Mr. Weatherbee’s office with the box of pranks as Mr. Weatherbee turns his chair to the side and leans back as he has a smile from ear to ear.
 
Archie: After detention, I’ll take care of it right away, sir!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: That’s a good boy.
 
Page 7
 
Panel one: Reggie is sitting at a chair at The Chocolate Shop as he leaps out of his seat in alarm as it sounds like he farted. The panel should be a lower view to show that a small walkie talkie is taped to the seat. In the background, we can see Archie making the nose. Jughead is walking by Reggie, pinching his nose while eating a burger.
 
SFX: FFFFPPPPPPTTTTT
 
Panel two: Reggie is talking with Veronica in Pickens Park as an air plane with a small chute at the bottom drops several ice cubes down Reggie’s back as Reggie’s tilts his body back and shivers. Veronica looks on with a smile.
 
 
Panel three: Reggie is running down a district of Riverdale past Moose and Midge as he has several toy teeth biting his rear. Moose nearly falls over laughing as Midge has to hold him up while giggling at Reggie.
 
 
Panel four: Reggie is in his bathroom looking in a mirror to see that the shampoo he washed his hair with has turned his hair purple.
 
Reggie: !!!
 
Panel five: Archie is outside of Reggie’s house in the early morning as Reggie has a ball cap over his head as he is just outside. Archie is peeking from the side of Reggie’s house as he blows on a dog whistle. Reggie is confused as he is holding up a T-bone steak left out for him that reads: FOR REGGIE.
 
Panel six: Reggie is being pounced on by Hot Dog, Rebel, Runty, Vegas, and several other dogs as they try to get the steak.
 
 
Page 8
 
Panel one: A happy Archie is walking down the hallway as he waves hello to an arriving to his office Mr. Weatherbee who is wearing a long coat and hat.
 
Archie: Hello, Mr. Weatherbee.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Archie.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I trust you took care of that rather nasty box.
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee and Archie turn their heads as a battered, bruised, tattered clothes wearing, purple haired Reggie is staggering towards them.
 
Panel three: Reggie looks at Archie in pure fright.
 
Panel four: Reggie begins to run away from Archie as several students move out of the way of the panicking Reggie. Mr. Weatherbee is pretending that he is covering his mouth for a cough while he is secretly laughing at Reggie.
 
Reggie: AAAAHHHHH!!!
 
Archie: Yes. Yes, I did.
 
The End
 

2
Fan Fiction / Super Suckers: That Lady is a Real Witch
« on: June 07, 2018, 12:08:59 PM »
 
Character introduction page.
 
Shot inside of a comic con with Jess and Kelly each looking at their cosplay costumes with a mix of disgust and confusion. Stewart is next to them reading Dracula Woman and Fang Girl as he doesn’t notice the blond attractive witch behind him. The witch, Videl, is peering over at Jess and Kelly. On Videl’s shoulder is a black cat with a chipped right ear. Vera is close to Stewart as she rolls her eyes. In front of Stewart is a two foot tall old school black and white Mickey Mouse cartoon vampire bat striking a pose.
 
Caption: Jess and Kelly two newly vampires about to enter another world of weirdness.
 
Caption: Stewart: Comic book lover turned creator who wants to cash in on the comic book movie/ tv show boom.
 
Caption Vera. Stewart’s now real girlfriend and dealing with the consequences of dating an ambitious geek.
 
Caption: Videl. Wicked Witch. What could she want with our two favorite vampires?
 
Caption: Pagan. A cat. Likes yarn and mouse heads.
 
Caption: Bumpy the Vampire. This mischievous little fellow has infiltrated our set. Can you help security find him?
 
Page 1
 
Panel one: Close up on a 3/4ths moon (Waxing Gibbous).
 
Caption: Super Suckers filmed in front of a live studio audience…except this small scene filled on location in the back woods of Lima Bean, Ohio. Your check is in the mail.
 
Voice off-panel: Ah, my love, what a beautiful night.
 
Panel two: The setting is a path along a forest area with the trees covered in shadow for a later reveal. A man a suit and tie and a woman wearing a black dress and gloves is walking through a forest area. The man is much more  happier than the woman who looks like she would rather be anywhere else. The woman is Videl Lilit. She looks to be in her mid twenties with long blond hair and blue eyes. Percy Pangle, the man, he’s much older so the reader gets she’s just marrying him for his money.
 
Percy Pangle: And while I’m glad to be home, it’s a shame our honeymoon had to end.
 
Videl: For you maybe.
 
Panel three: Percy walks ahead along the path with outstretched arms.
 
Percy: We’re rich, in love, and we’ve got the rest of our lives together…
 
Percy: What could ever go wrong?
 
Panel four: Angle from over Percy’s left shoulder as Videl’s eyes glow red as she prepares to use her magic powers.
 
Videl: It could turn out you married a witch who only wanted to accumulate more vast wealth and you have now outlived your usefulness. Speaking off which…
 
Videl: Et in lingo.
 
Percy: What was that--?
 
Panel five: Percy looks down at his feet to see that they are becoming wooden and his arms and hands are becoming tree limbs and branches as Videl’s eyes and hands glow even redder. In her right hand, a broom stick is forming.
 
Videl: It’s Latin.
 
Videl: A dead language for a dead man.
 
 
Page 2
 
Panel one: Videl looks at the tree that was Percy Pangle as it has a screaming face in the bark and is about her size. With her right hand she taps the ground with the end of the broom.
 
Videl: If only you had been better in bed, Percy Pangle the 7th… I might have held this off for another week or two.
 
Panel two: Videl looks over at several nearby trees who have screaming faces in their bark (to show that she’s been doing this to people for a long, long time). In the shadows small yellow eyes are glowing near the ground.
 
Videl: Oh well.
 
Videl: You can come out now, snookums.
 
Panel three: A black cat springs from the darkness and into Videl’s outstretch arms. The cat has a chipped left ear.
 
Videl: That stupid, stupid man is gone and baby has an all new scratching post for himself.
 
Pagan: purrrr
 
Panel four: Videl looks at Pagan in her hands and notices her hands have aged and have become wrinkly and withered.
 
Videl: What--?!
 
Panel five: Videl looks up at the sky and sees the 3/4th moon as she cradles Pagan in her arms as Pagan playfully swipes at the broom bristles.
 
Videl: Has it been nearly fifty years? The time does fly. If only immortality came with eternal youth…
 
Videl: We need to find two vampires. Immediately. And woe to those vampires for they know not what evil they will soon face.
 
Page 3
 
Panel one: Location is Jess’s room as we have a close up on Jess and Kelly as they are looking ahead at something. Kelly is confused and trying her best to be nice as she feigns a smile while raising her left eyebrow up. Jess is much more blunt and looking annoyed. Both are sitting at the head of her bed.
 
Caption: SUPER SUCKERS
 
Caption: THAT LADY IS A REAL WITCH (insert other stuff)
 
Kelly: Well, that’s, um, sure…a thing you’re showing us. It exists. It’s part of reality. And…that’s good. Real good, right, Jess?
 
Jess: Yeah, about as good as being ripped apart by a shark.
 
Stewart off-panel: And that’s what I’m saying!!—it can be even better once you—
 
Page 4
 
Panel one: Over the heads of the sitting Jess and Kelly as we now see what they are looking at. Stewart and Vera are in front of them. Stewart, wearing a red shirt with a white dot in the middle (commercial promotion), has set up a stand with a chart which reads: DRACULA WOMAN & FANG GIRL. Both are drawn to resemble Jess and Kelly respectively and draw similar to the Silver Age art style. Dracula Woman (colors mostly black and purple) is wearing the traditional one piece suit (ala Ms. Marvel or Psylocke) a black domino mask, and a purple cape that goes just past her shoulder blades. Fang Girl is wearing cheerleader like garb which I mostly red and black with a red domino mask. Stewart is smiling as he motions towards the chart. Vera with a giant chocolate chip cookie in her mouth strikes a similar pose at the chart. Next to Stewart is a duffle bag with a comic titled CAPTAIN COURAGOUS with a muscular man wearing a Captain America like patriot garb peaking out.
 
Stewart: Help your ol’ pal, ol’ friend, Stewart launch a one of a kind, brand spankin’ new original comic—
 
Stewart: --Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!!
 
Panel two: A dejected Stewart looks at the girl as Kelly tilts her head in confusion while Jess folds her arms across her chest and turns her head as if trying to avoid the stench of something awful ahead.
 
Jess: Pass.
 
Kelly: Wait…Dracula’s a guy.  He can only change into a bat, right?
 
Pane three: Vera shrugs her shoulders as she finishes off the cookie as bits of it fall to the ground where a box of Cool Cookies (another commercial promotion) is lying on the ground.
 
Vera: Yeah, I don’t get that either, but when you love someone, you support them no matter how fool a thing they’re doing.
 
Stewart: You’re not helping, love of this phase of my life’s journey!
 
Page 5
 
Panel one: Jess quips at Stewart as Stewart smirks at her in pride of his idea.
 
Jess: So you want us to read your stupid comic.
 
Stewart: No! I want you to help launch my franchise so I can be stupid rich!
 
Panel two: Stewart has flipped the chart over to show a picture of a comic book with an arrow pointing to a dollar sign with the no symbol over it. Vera folds her hands on the left side of her face and tilts her head as she looks lovey dovey eyed.
 
Stewart: Look, comic books are nice. Super even. But they’re only the stepping stone to bigger success.
 
Caption: Unless you’re reading Sitcomics, like I know you are, you smart, wonderful person you!
 
Vera: I love it when my boo-boo talks all entrepreneur and suave.
 
 
Panel three: Stewart has flipped the chart page over to a new one showing an image of a comic book, a plus sign, a contract and an equal sign ending with an image of Stewart making out with a dollar sign while the words RICH, PRICKS!!! is underlined three times underneath the drawing. Vera is doing the money hand signal while she sings.
 
Stewart: That’s why you need to sell your property off to Knitflicks or a movie studio! They put it in live action and the people can’t get enough! Your rolling in dough like a keibler elf!
 
Vera: Millions of dollars! Millions of dollar! Millions and millions of dollars and dollars!
 
Panel four: Stewart face palms as Kelly is still questioning about Dracula Woman as Jess looks on with a smile as Stewart slams his hat to the ground.
 
 
Kelly: So Dracula is transgender?
 
Stewart: It’s not Dracula! It’s Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!
 
Page 6
 
Entire page is drawn like an 80s comic. (SILVER AGE)
 
Panel one: A close up on a planet in outer space where the one continent is shaped like two fangs. No sun in sight because, well, it’s a planet where everyone is a vampire.
 
Caption: Okay, just listen…
 
Caption: In the vast reaches of space five miles past the Milky Way Galaxy was the planet of Vlad, home to the space vampires.
 
Panel two: A space ship shaped like a werewolf’s head is using a tractor beam to pull a green sun towards Vlad.
 
Caption: For a millennium they had battled the Intergalactic Werewolves and thought they had destroyed them all until a surviving faction brought a burning green sun—
 
Panel three: A shot of the green sun set in place causing Planet Vlad to erupt in fire. The werewolf head ship is rocking back and forth in celebration with the mouth part showing a grin.
 
Caption: --And destroyed the planet!! Killing everyone!!!
 
Caption: FAAWWWOOOM
 
Panel four: A small black space ship zips out of the flaming planet and past the confused werewolf head ship.
 
Caption: Except for a single, solitary space ship.
 
Werewolf space ship: ???
 
Panel five: A shot of the black space ship heading towards earth.
 
Caption: And earth welcomed its newest champions…
 
Panel six: On the streets of a city, Dracula Woman and Fang Girl are battling intergalactic werewolves (Werewolves wearing spaceman uniforms). Dracula Woman is holding one scared intergalactic werewolf over her head while Fang Girl is doing a double leap kick at two others.
 
Caption: Dracula Woman and Fang Girl!!!
 
Caption: And the neverending—du du duh—battle continues!
 
Page 7
 
Panel one: Stewart is gleaming with pride as sticks out his chest. Kelly and Jess look blankly at Stewart.
 
Stewart: Well, what do you think now?
 
Panel two: The girls start pointing out all the flaws in his comic’s origin story as his face stretches and his eyes somber.
 
Kelly: So they just happen to be named “Dracula Woman and Fang Girl”?
 
Jess: How is five miles past the Milky Way, our galaxy, the vast reaches of space?
 
Kelly: Did they always dress like that?
 
Jess: They had a space ship. If they had one, shouldn’t everyone on Planet Vlad have one?
 
Panel three: Stewart is stomping his left food on his right foot in rage.
 
Stewart: You’re putting too much realism into the concept!!!
 
SFX: CRUK
 
Panel four: Stewart is jumping up and down on one foot as Vera just wants to get this over with.
 
Vera: Okay, this is gone on way longer than I thought and if I miss my Maury and don’t see some baby daddies get got, I can’t sleep peacefully tonight.
 
Panel five: Vera is talking with Kelly and Jess as they look on.
 
Vera: Look, Stewie wooie is going to take his comic to the local comic con, and he wants you gals to dress up—
 
Stewart: Cosplay!
 
Vera: Whatever. Pretend you’re the characters while he tries to get signed on to by a studio who wants to make this into a movie or show or something that puts the ching ching dollar dolla in the piggy bank!
 
Panel six: Kelly and Jess are talking with Vera as Stewart is still hopping around in pain.
 
Kelly: Vera, I don’t even read funny books.
 
Stewart: Action adventure books!
 
Jess: Same.  Plus last time I made believe was my elementary school play of Red Riding Hood. I was a rock.
 
 

3
Reviews / PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 2.3
« on: June 06, 2018, 10:59:25 AM »
 Finally caught up on Riverdale (see my reviews do relate to Archie Comics!) on my DVR and—well, at least I liked the last episode. Look, I get that this is darker, but I think you can do dark and have likable and intelligent characters. Seriously, out of all of Riverdale, only Fred Andrews is a decent human being at this point. I really liked the first season, but I thought season two was pretty rotten. Really bad writing.

 
Speaking of bad writing, I’ll be posting another Super Sucker fan fic soon. :)

 
But now onto good writing and everything else that a comic needs….THE BLUE BARON.
 
 
 
When we last left off Blowback was on a rampage, consumed with vengeance on Cedric Carson. Now alone, can The Blue Baron/Ernie Rodriguez defeat the day? And what of the Blue Baron, stuck in a teenage body, facing off against a school bully. How both fights end might surprise you.
 
The good.
 
The writing. Whoa. This issue hits like a sledgehammer to the gut. There isn’t as much humor as the other issues, but just the emotion, just the reactions to Ernie and the Blue Baron at the end of the issue is heartbreaking because both are in situations where they are helpless to do anything; one because he lacks the maturity and experience the other trapped outside of his life.
 
And for anyone worried, it’s not all depressing. You get some funny moments with Wanda “Mayday Parker Lives On” Rodriguez confronts Ernie Baron after the fight and his deadpan reaction. Jenna, the blond haired girl from last issue, moments with Ernie Baron are sweet and I already like her. And the mirroring of Blue Baron and Ernie and what’s going on at the same time was great work.
 
And the issue leaves you wanting more as potential storylines and threats are introduced. As Rossi and Bishop are set to be more of a presence and a mystery from the first issue is solved.
 
 
And let me put it to you this way. Normally, I give details because, this came out in the first of the year, but I think it would be best for anyone who is reading or wants to read this comic to pick it up with a pretty clear mind on what to expect. It’s that good.
 
The art. Ron Frenz is really great here. Just the emotion of the characters. Just the facial expressions of the aftermath is really stunning. This might be the best work that I’ve seen from him. It certainly stands out. The coloring and lettering for emotional responses were appropriate. The inking really shines in this issue. Excellent work from everyone involved.
 
Battle Blogs. Yeah, I didn’t mention these the last few issues because, well, it was about Start-up and I’d like no spoilers if I ever get more than one issue of the series. But this issue is cool as we have one about Blowback. Nothing special but I was always a fan of the TMNT sourcebooks that went over the history and power of the character…then the stupid internet happen and made it all pointless.
 
The bad.
 
 I think one character could have used more flexing out. Heck, this issue I just learned he knew Cedric Carson/Blue Baron were the same person. I have gone back three times and I don’t see anything that would make me believe this character knew Blue Baron’s secret identity.
  • No more Milo. A great loss for us all.
  • He who shall not be named.
 
 
What I learned from what I read.
 
 Wanting to go back to where you were held hostage by a supervillain makes you the second stupidest man alive.
  • Volunteering to go back to where you were held hostage instead of the guy who originally wanted to go makes you the stupidest person alive.
  • Congrates Start-up, you’re the smartest person in this comic or at least the best detective.
  • Teenage hormones are wretched indeed.
  • I don’t even want to think about the possible laws Cedric Carson might be breaking in the next slew of issues
  • Just like in Civil War, I don’t blame the hero for what happened. …But I don’t think this is Joe Quesada’s fault either.
  • Mr. Baxter is like professional wrestling referees: Only interfering when the good guy is winning!
  • Slater is hardcore like American Kirby.
  • Mr. Shilling is still a dillweed.
  • Don’t worry Blowback, we all make little mistakes we have to live with—oh. Right….
 
 
 
 
Overall: Well, it’s not the funniest of the issues, but if you were wanting more drama and gravitas, here you go. My favorite issue up to this point. Everything hits the mark. The art, writing, coloring, pacing it’s all superb.
 
It’s an A.
 
So yeah, this is a series you should be reading. Great quality for an insanely low price.
 
 

4
Fan Fiction / Archie & Me in The Clutz Catastrophe
« on: June 03, 2018, 02:28:38 PM »
 Page 1
 
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is in his office with Vice Principal Drill Sergeant Howitzer at his side standing in attention as Mr. Auberjonois is slamming a stack of papers down on Mr. Weatherbee’s desk that have several dollar signs on them along with the name Archie Andrews. Mr. Auberjonois is a tall lanky middle age man with a bushy mustache and a large round nose and a bulging forehead. He has small beady eyes and his hair brown turning white. Mr. Weatherbee is trying to be patient but rolls his eyes upwards as he clearly doesn’t want to humor School Board member Mr. Auberjonois
 
Mr. Auberjonois: Weatherbee these costs! Plumbing! Reconstruction of school grounds! Damages to school property ranging from hallways, to lockers, to classroom instruments—
 
Mr. Auberjonois: --and the school board and I are supposed to believe that one student caused all of this wanton destruction?
 
Mr. Weatherbee: You have to live it to believe it, Mr. Auberjonois.
 
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois continues to yell as he slaps the stack of papers across the room. Mr. Weatherbee looks on in surprise.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: Don’t be smug with me, Weatherbee! I know how crooks like you operate! Trying to milk the school district for money with these fraudulent claims! Blaming an innocent student!
 
Mr. Auberjonois: I’ll have your bank accounts taken in for evidence! I’ll see you thrown out of this school, you chiseller!
 
Panel three: Sgt. Howitzer becomes enraged as he begins to defend Mr. Weatherbee as Mr. Weatherbee sticks his hand out to prevent any physical altercation. Mr. Auberjonois begins to cower and back pedal.
 
Sgt. Howitzer: Sir! Commanding Officer Waldo Weatherbee is a man of incontestable honor! A man who I would gladly die for—and kill for if ordered!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: They’ll be no need for that, Sergeant Howitzer.
 
Page 2
 
Panel one: Mr. Auberjonois goes back to being smug as he regains his cool and straightens out his jacket as Mr. Weatherbee stands up from his desk.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: But I do find these unsubstantial allegations insulting.
 
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois points at a picture of Archie clipped on a folder file on the desk.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: The proof is in the pudding! Let me shadow this Archie Andrews. If he’s as accident prone as you claim, it will substantiate your claims and vindicate you!
 
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois has a smug smile on his face as he rubs his finger against his bushy mustache as Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer leer at him.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: Of course, once you’re proven the fraud, you’ll be relieved of your position, resulting in much needed changes to the faculty and renovations.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: A staff fitting your approval and renovations provided by your construction company, I take it.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: Just doing what I can for the children.
 
Panel four: Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer are bending down picking up the pages Mr. Auberjonois knocked down as he strides out of the office as he has his nose stuck up high in the air.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Well, I suppose, if you insist…
 
Mr. Auberjonois: I do insist!
 
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee and Howitzer casually talk with one another as they collect all the scattered paper.
 
SFX: SLAM
 
Howitzer: Sir, should I accompany Mr. Auberjonois to the danger zone, sir?
 
Mr. Weatherbee: No. I would hate for someone worthwhile to be caught in the line of fire.
 
Howitzer: Thank you, sir!
 
 
 
Page 3
 
Panel one: Archie is at his locker as he is having trouble opening it. In the background, Mr. Auberjonois is walking towards Archie as he is bumped into by Chunk.
 
Auberjonois thinking: So many miscreants. Now where is--
 
Archie: Darn locker! Always gets stuck!
 
Auberjonois thinking: That’s Archie Andrews.
 
Panel two: Archie is continuing to try and get his locker open as he is using both arms and one foot pressed against another locker to gain better leverage as Mr. Auberjonois is about right next to him, in direct path of where the locker door would go.
 
Auberjonois thinking: Hm. He’s obviously a dullard, easy to see why Weatherbee would take advantage of this poor, unfortunate—
 
Panel three: Archie uses all his strength to open the locker as the door swings back and rams into Mr. Auberjonois, causing a deep face indention into the locker.
 
Archie: GOT IT!!
 
SFX: THWAM
 
Panel four: Archie looks on as Mr. Auberjonois falls to the ground with red and blue pain stars over his head and his eyes glazed over as he falls straight on his back with his arm and legs sticking up straight. Svenson is walking by with a small hammer as he notices the indentation Auberjonois’ face made as he prepares to hammer the locker back into form. In the background, Reggie is pointing and laughing at Mr. Auberjonois.
 
Archie: Gee, Mr. I’m sorry, mister! I didn’t know you were there!!
 
Auberjonois: …that’s okay…I like astronomy…red stars…blue stars…
 
Svenson: Yumpin’ liminey! Again vith the hammering for ol’ Svenson!
 
Page 4
 
Panel one: Archie is walking along as Mr. Auberjonois has a bandage wrapped around his head as he talks with Archie. Mr. Auberjonois is trying to hide his anger and disdain for Archie.
 
Archie: Wow! So the school board wants you to follow around a student to see how it is for us teens?
 
Auberjonois: Yes--we deeply care about you all and want to see that you get what you deserve.
 
Panel two: Veronica, Midge and Moose are walking up to Archie as Archie has small hearts over his head. Veronica is smiling and waving at Archie. Midge is right behind Veronica as she looks lovingly back at Moose.
 
Veronica: Archiekins! I just got an A on American History thanks to your tutoring. You deserve a reward!
 
Archie: A R-r-reward…?
 
Archie: Like…maybe a kiss?
 
Panel three: Veronica has her lips puckered up as Archie closes his eyes and leans in to kiss her. Walking by is Betty whose ponytail springs up in alert as she sees what is about to happen. Mr. Auberjonois looks on with disdain.
 
Veronica: Um-hmm.
 
Auberjonois: Hmph. Kissing in the hallway. They won’t be doing none of that in my ideal school!
 
Panel four: Veronica is pulled away from Archie as Archie still has his eyes closed as he does not know that he is kissing Midge who is wide-eyed with surprise. Moose looks on enraged.
 
Betty: Yoink!
 
 
SFX: SWISH
 
Midge: ?
 
 
Panel five: Archie opens his eyes to see that he is kissing Midge. Midge motions with her eyes towards where Moose’s chest is as the rest of him is off panel.
 
Archie: !!!
 
Panel six: Archie looks up even more to see Moose enraged and about pummel Archie. In the background, a angry, cross armed Veronica is glaring at Betty who shrugs her shoulders in an “oops” type manner.
 
Moose: Duh! Yer kissin’ my girl!
 
 
Page 5
 
Panel one: Archie backs away as he nearly bumps into Auberjonois who is timid and has no idea what to do to stop the altercation.
 
Archie: Wait, Moose! Wait! It was an accident! I swear!!
 
Moose: Duh, and now you’re swearing in front of my sweetie!? Now yer really gonna get it!
 
Panel two: Archie ducks as Moose hits Mr. Auberjonois with a haymaker that knocks out of the panel and leaves only his shoes and socks left in the air.
 
SFX: POW
 
Panel three: Coach Kleats and Coach Clayton are admiring the new trophy case at the end of a hallway as they admire it as all the trophies, medals, and plaques are shined up and sparkling.
 
Coach Clayton: I have to admit, this really is quite the sight!
 
Coach Kleats! It’s the greatest! This display will be here long after we’re gone, but our team and legacy will be remembered forever.
 
Panel four: Mr. Auberjonois rockets into the trophy case completely destroying it as Coach Clayton leaps on Coach Kleats to save him from shards of glass heading his way. Trophies, medals, wood, and glass spring everywhere.
 
SFX: SCRRASSH
 
Panel five: Coach Kleats is crying on Coach Clayton’s shoulder as they look at the wreckage that was the trophy display and the trophies as they all have been dented or broken and lying along the ground. In the heap of the trophy display a battered and bruised Auberjonois is barely conscious as he has a dented trophy on his head and several medals wrapped around his nose. Svenson is walking along and motions with his hands upward as he now has even more work to do.
 
Coach Kleats: Sniff Sniff
 
Coach Clayton: There, there, coach. Buck up. We still have the memories.
 
Page 6
 
Panel one: Archie is walking in his biology classroom as he holds the door open for Mr. Auberjonois whose clothes is even more torn and battered and his hair out of place. The wrapping around his head is being undone. Behind Archie near a lab table is a glass case filled with frogs. Auberjonois, with teeth gritted, glares at Archie hatefully.
 
Archie: I’m really sorry about that, sir!
 
Mr. Auberjonois: It’s all right. My spine absorbed the impact.
 
Panel two: Mr. Auberjonois begins to back away from the class room as he notices the frogs in the case. Archie is walking along as he doesn’t notice a sign reading CAREFUL WET as the floor had just been cleaned. Archie is looking back as he continues his conversation.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: I…I’m going to make myself scarce. I’m allergic to frogs. Just one of those slimy creatures makes me break out in hives.
 
Archie: Really? I’ve never heard of being allergic to frogs.
 
Panel three Archie begins to slip and slide as he heads towards the table and the frog display.
 
Archie: Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey! Ah! Ah!
 
Panel four: Archie bumps into the table with enough force as it causes a the glass lid to pop open as the frogs leap out of the case and hop pass Archie. One of the frogs has a thought balloon of itself sitting on a log in the bayou playing a banjo.
 
Archie: Ommph!
 
SFX: pop
 
Frogs: ribbit ribbit!
 
Panel five: Archie turns around to see the frogs have landed on Mr. Auberjonois and he has broken out into hives as his face has swollen three times and his lips are puckered tight. Trula Twyst, Vic, Danny, and Chloe look on. Chloe is taking pictures of Mr. Auberjonois with her phone as she sticks her tongue out in disgust.
 
Archie: Hh. Now I’ve hear and seen someone allergic to frogs.
 
Page 7
 
Panel one: Mr. Auberjonois is sitting in the nurse’s office as his face is still swollen as Archie helps him sit down at the table. Ms. Armstrong (pretty blond nurse) is talking with Archie
 
Ms. Strongarm: My, Archie. What happened to this man? It looks like he was assaulted!!
 
Panel two: Archie accidentally steps on Mr. Auberjonois’ left foot as he walk towards Ms. Armstrong. Mr. Auberjonois winces in pain as it jolts from his foot to his spine and his fingers curl.
 
SFX: Crunch
 
Mr. Auberjonois: mmmphhhhrrr!!
 
Archie: Oh. He said he was allergic to frogs and he touched a few in my biology class.
 
Ms. Armstrong: Tsk tsk. Some people just think they’re invincible.
 
Panel three: Ms. Armstrong whispers into Archie’s ear as he nods.
 
Ms. Armstrong: A few shots should bring down the hives and swelling, but I need him relaxed and the size of the needles could stir him.
 
Archie: I’ll keep him distracted, Ms. Armstrong.
 
Panel four: Archie has a smile on his face as he talks with Mr. Auberjonois as Mr. Auberjonois glares at Archie. Ms. Armstrong is reaching into a drawer in the background.
 
Archie: Hey, Mr. Auberjonois! Want to hear about the time me and my family went to the Grand Canyon. It was great, we took pictures and met people and we even saw—
 
Panel five: Archie looks past Mr. Auberjonois as he sees the giant size needles that Ms. Armstrong is about to use to give a shot to a suddenly aware Mr. Auberjonois. The needle is a good ten inches long. Ms. Armstrong has his Mr. Auberjonois sleeve rolled up.
 
Archie: --The biggest needles I’ve ever seen in my life!!!
 
Auberjonois: Muh?
 
Panel six: Outside of the nurse’s office as Raj, Rob, and Shrill look towards the nurse’s office as Mr. Auberjonois screams in a pain and fear.
 
Mr. Auberjonois in the nurse’s office: MMMRRRHHHHHOOOWWW!!!
 
 
Page 8
 
Panel one: Archie is walking into the school library as Mr. Auberjonois is keeping his distance. He’s in even worse shape as his head is red, slightly swollen and his clothes are even more in a sad state. His hair is sticking straight up. He is not looking at Archie as he is looking and rubbing his arms where he had to get his shots from the school nurse. The double doors of the library door are about to hit Auberjonois.
 
Archie: I’m really sorry, Mr. Auberjonois! But the swelling has gone down!
 
Mr. Auberjonois: Yes. Those long, bone piercing shots really did the trick--!
 
Panel two: Archie looks ahead happily as he waves at Bobbi who is sitting at a table going over a text book; she waves back. The double doors swing back and hit Mr. Auberjonois right on the nose as he winces.
 
Archie: I like to come here during the free period and read a good book.
 
SFX: BOP
 
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois jolts behind a book shelf as he holds his nose and tries to get away from Archie. Archie looks on in confusion.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: Fine! Just do it far away from me!!
 
Panel four: Archie is walking away along the book shelves to the very last one at the end as Mr. Auberjonois peeks from his hiding place like the book shelf is a barrier protecting him from all harm.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: I don’t care what’s happened to me! The damages to the locker, the display case, the frog loss—it still proves nothing!!
 
Panel five: Mr. Auberjonois tries to fix up his tatter of a tie as he tries to regain his calm, arrogant disposition.
 
Mr. Auberjonois thinking: …Just little mishaps. Flukes. Weatherbee’s neck is in the noose and I’m going to see him dangle from it!
 
Page 9
 
Panel one: Archie is at the other end of the book shelves as he is reading The Wizard of Oz as he eyes go wide with what he is reading. Archie is leaning against the book shelf as it begins to wobble. Ms. Laurrette is walking past Archie as she carrying a copy of King Lear under her arm.
 
Archie thinking: Wow! The book is way different than the movie! I’ll have nightmares about the Tin Woodsman and that ax!
 
Panel two: The shelf begins to fall back and hit the other shelf to knock that one back as it begins a domino effect. Archie nearly falls backwards, but Ms. Laurrette grabs him and keeps him from falling back.
 
Archie: Aaah!
 
Ms. Laurette: Archie! Careful these old shelves are unsteady!
 
SFX: THWUM THWUM
 
 
Panel three: Mr. Auberjonois is dialing a number on his cellphone as he has his back turned and does not notice the books shelves falling over with his shelf being next. He has a thought balloon over his head where a cartoon version of Mr. Weatherbee is being kicked out of Riverdale High to help illustrate his hypocrisy.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: I’m going to call an emergency school board meeting and give out my fair and unbiased report….
 
Panel four: A shadow falls over Mr. Auberjonois as he looks resigned in his fate as he clicks off the cellphone.
 
Cellphone: Hello?
 
SFX: THWUM
 
Mr. Auberjonois: (Sigh) Nevermind…
 
Panel five: Ms. Laurrette and Archie look ahead as they see Mr. Auberjonois get squashed by the book shelf off-panel. Ms. Laurrette’s face twists at what she sees as Archie winces as it looks so bad even he feels the pain.
 
SFX: THOOOM
 
Ms. Laurette: “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.” Erma Bobeck.
 
Archie: What does that mean, Ms. Laurette?
 
Ms. Laurette: Be grateful we’re on the safe side of the line.
 
Page 10
 
Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee is in his office as he is preparing to leave for the day when the phone on his desk begins to ring.
 
SFX rring rring
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I wonder who this could be?
 
Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee answers the phone as he has a smile from ear to ear.
 
Phone: I’m just calling you to inform you that my investigation…is put on hold.
 
Mr. Weatherbee: Oh. Mr. Auberjonois, I heard about your accidents. I hope you’re feeling better.
 
Panel three: A shot of Mr. Auberjonois in his hospital bed as his arms and legs are in casts and on slings as his head is heavily bandaged. He has his cellphone leaned to his left ear as he tries to keep it to his face.
 
Mr. Auberjonois: Don’t be smug, Weatherbee! You and your little freckle face assassin haven’t seen the last of me!
 
Archie off-panel: Mr. Auberjonois, is that you…?
 
 
Panel four: Archie Andrews is walking into the hospital room as he is carrying a boutique of flowers that has several bees in it as Mr. Auberjonois goes wide eye with fear.
 
 Mr. Auberjonois: Oh no.
 
Archie: I’m really sorry what happened, so I came as soon as I could. I could buy any flowers, but I found these fresh ones that just smell great.
 
Archie: Here. Take a whiff.
 
Panel five: Mr. Weatherbee begins to put the phone down as Mr. Auberjonois is screaming in agony on the other end.
 
The phone: The bees! The bees! They’re in my eyes! They’re in my eyes!! AHHHGG--!!
 
Mr. Weatherbee: I really need to remember days like this when Archie reports to my office.
 

5
Reviews / PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 2.2
« on: June 03, 2018, 01:11:48 PM »
 

 
Hm, pay sixty dollars for hog feed, 26 dollars for the church food bucket, and I was dumb enough to order my dad Taxi the complete series, which I did before the former two was sprung on me…
 
So it looks like my comics this month are at least the Power Rangers and…Batman or a Transformer comic. 
 
Well, it’s a good thing I’m a slow reader because here is The Blue Baron!!
 
 
 
 
The Good
 
Blowback. Our first serious villain. And he’s everything you want in a villain. I think the best bad guys are the ones who totally believe in what they are doing is right; that they are the victim and only seeking justice/revenge.
 
Blowback was pretty much a hero who did great work for his country but an oversight caused him to be turn into a nuclear monster trapped in a containment suit. He has an irrational hatred of Cedric Carson, channeling his anger and blame into him; and he is a threat.
 
While he is irrational on ending Carson, he’s smart. He defeats both Blue Ernie and Start-up. He’s also smart enough to see people close to Cedric and take them hostage. He’s gone through the valley and I’m loving it.
 
Writing I’ve already mentioned Blowback so let’s talk about the rest. While Blue Ernie is grating on my nerves, when the more childish moments come into play its fun. Like him not knowing how to kiss. Ernie Baron taking down the school bully in the same manner a hero saving the world would with the same gravitas was funny.
 
And we get some real emotional weight to the story. Blowback is a truly tragic character with an origin story that really makes you regret seeing that person turn into this monster. And seeing Max and Stacy thinking Cedric, their boss, friend, one of his lovers, is a coward was sad. Event the nerd clique gets a moment to shine where they actually—even scared—do offer to stand with Ernie Baron for the fight.
 
The art. Ron Frenz is still doing a great job. My favorite scenes are actually the high school because it looks and feels like a high school cafeteria. I love looking at all the kids and how then come from different ethnicities and their clothing. And page 11 is pretty fun too. And the inking and coloring to Blowback’s origin was well done. It really feels like Iraq and the various shades of green really hits home. And I love the Blue Baron logo when he’s introduced in the issue. It reminds me of the old Sonic The Hedgehog comic. The good one with the Freedom Fighters. Yeah, I don’t like Amy Rose. At all. Speaking of bad things…
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Bad
 
 
Ernie’s getting real annoying. Yeah, I’ve been reading an issue, jotting notes then reading the next issue and I have to say at this point, Ernie’s really grinding my gears! I mean, it totally makes sense, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t get on your nerves. Up until the last few pages it’s been two issues of him being a tool.
 
Wow. Another person I’m going to have to wait an issue to learn there name. Seriously, MILO, you couldn’t tell the blond girl’s name!? And I’m still waiting for Ernie’s dad’s name!! Why is my pet peeve being breeded??
 
Oh well, that happened. Yeah Blowback took Stacy, Max, and that dillweed Mr. Shilling off panel. Wouldn’t it have been great to see it? That seems like a really cool villain moment we missed out on. And to be fair, Blowback got a lot of good to him and you only have so many pages. Still, I’m of a “show don’t tell” person.
 
No Wanda. Once again, denied the Spider-Girl jokes and callbacks I crave! If I wanted to feel like this, I’d just go back to reading Marvel Comics. Ba-dum-dum-chee!!
 
 
 
What I learned from what I read.
 
 The Blue Baron IS a player.
  • Slater doesn’t fight fair.
  • Hey, it’s Milo!!
  • So right after “shaving” we can take “kissing” off of Ernie’s list of things he’s never done.
  • Mr. Shilling is a dillweed.
  • Chicks dig heroes.
  • Speedsters really need to not stand still in fights.
  • Blowback really, REALLY hates Cedric Carson.
  • If DZZZT is your favorite sound effect—this is the issue for you!!!
  • Isn’t it funny how a bad day is what creates villains and heroes? Also days that end in “y” coincidence…? I think not!
 
 
Yeah, it’s another good issue. Blue Ernie was kind of annoying—but he’s a teen. And he does have the most interesting stuff going on. Blowback is a cool villain with a great origin. The art’s as good as the other issue. There a still some minor things (WHAT IS THE DAD’S NAME?!?) but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t add up to a hill of beans. And honestly, if I wasn’t doing this issue by issue and just read the story through most of the little complaints disappear.
 
It’s a B+
 
What happens in the school yard brawl of death? Will Blue Ernie survive his battle against Blowback? Will I ever learn what the %$^& Ernie’s dad’s name is. I’m thinking at least we’ll get two out of three of those…NEXT TIME.
 
 
 

6
Reviews / PTF Reviews Blue Baron 2.1
« on: May 27, 2018, 02:06:23 PM »
 PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 2.1
First off thank you to all veterans for all you have done for us.
Well, finally saw the Batman anime. It’s okay. I don’t think it’s the greatest thing ever like everyone is letting on, but it’s fun to watch if you turn off your brain off( (like Batman during the movie) and just have fun.
 
And it sounds a lot better than the Solo movie. I had a friend go see it and to quote him, “I want to punch Opie in the face!”
 
I think I should end all bad reviews like that.
 
But I’m not here to talk about an anime or a really angry Star Wars fanboy., so let’s get started with the review.
 
 
Anyway, last we left off a nerdy 13 year old loser and his least favorite hero switched bodies. Luckily with Blue Baron’s advice, Ernie was able to save the day after nearly blowing it. But it’s a new issue, new challenges—let’s review Blue Baron!!!
 
 
The Good
 
Ernie is a snot. So what do you get when a teenager suddenly becomes rich, can boss people around, and do whatever he wants when he wants—a little prick. And that’s what Ernie is for the majority of the issue. He’s letting Cedric Corp go while he just spends his time eating nachos and playing video games. When he’s confronted with a chore he runs out or is just rude. And he dresses like a tool. And that’s pretty much how it should be. And it is fun watching people react to their boss or friend like he’s having a mid-life crisis…or he’s just lost it. And we get some fun moments with “Stranger Danger” and him deciding to drive.
 
And Blue Baron is shown to be adjusting well. I like his wardrobe being like Bruce Wayne’s and him rousing the troops to do something about Slater and his bullying way. And right now, he’s the only adult guiding Ernie’s life in anyway and the only person in the issue he shows respect to; like when he teaches Ernie how to shave. And I like the little internal war he’s developing with Ernie’s family as he hates Wanda and fears Rosa.
 
The Writing. So yeah the writing is fun. And humor is still great. Control Freak making Blue Ernie look like an idiot was a riot. Especially the hot coffee and the kids watching the hero fight but really wanting to play jump rope when it’s over. I love Blue Baron’s reaction Ernie’s celebration as he’s watching his respectability go down the drain. Ernie Baron’s rousing speech to the geeks was great. And Ernie being a total brat was great. We get more information on Bishop and meet Rossi. And the issue ends on a great cliffhanger.
 
 
The Villains. Hey, we’re building us a rogue gallery. This issue is Control Freak who can possess a body part of a person and is shown to be effect with it with how he holds up the bank and has Blue Ernie on the ropes the majority of their conflict. And it’s nice seeing a villain in a loving relationship with another guy.
 
Then there is Blowback who is nuclear powered and can repel anything that comes his way. We don’t know much about him but what we do know is good. He’s not motivated by money—just revenge. He hates Cedric Carson and is vandalizing any facility that uses his security system just to bankrupt one of his divisions.
 
The art. Yeah, Ron Frenz kills it again this issue. I really like all the facial reactions the characters have reacting to Blue Ernie. I love the crazy eyed Blue Ernie on TV celebrating like a tool. I think my favorite pages might be Ernie driving and all the different angles and layout. Specially the second panel sums up everyone involved. Again I like the design for the villains and I really like looking at the background and all the different types of people.
 
The coloring, inking, and lettering is great. Love the word balloon shaped around Blue Ernie screaming while hot coffee is poured on him. And the coloring and inking two places stand out. The shading and diabolic look Ernie gets when he gets the idea to drive and the very last page with green light and the shading is superb.
 
 
 
The Bad
 
Maybe Blue Baron could use more panel time. So far it’s been more focused on Ernie as Blue Baron, and that makes sense since this is a hero book, but I would like to see more of Blue Baron adjusting to Ernie’s life. I mean, I still don’t know Ernie’s dad’s name, what his parents do for an occupation. And Rosa’s a monster but we’re not shown why. So in turn  you have a portion of the supporting staff not getting much development as the other. Plus Wanda was not in this issue and I didn’t get to make a Spider-Girl/Mayday joke this review. That is not acceptable.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What I learned from what I read.
 
 Ernie’s little sister name is Rosa.
  • Harold not only doesn’t get a French vacation but his boyfriend is in jail. That’s sad.
  • It’s always Jump Rope Time.
  • Speaking off…that’s one mighty strong jump rope.
  • Blue Baron might be a bit of a player.
  • REVENGE OF THE NERDS: HERO EDITION. It’s happening.
  • Carson Corp needs to work on their contracts. I mean, yeah, paying in full for failure in security is nice—but that’ll bankrupt you. Need to find that fine line between Tony Stark and Lex Luthor.
  • I think Rossi was born on Yancy Street.
  • It’s nice to know some villains don’t do it for the money. Sometimes it’s about love and pure, unadulterated hatred.
  • I would follow Ernie Baron into battle.
 
Overall. Yeah, it’s great issue. Everything’s great. I only really have the slightest of nitpicks and even then it’s not so bad because of the rest of the supporting cast and Ernie’s situation is more fun and relevant to the plot of the issue. It’s an A.
 


 

7
Reviews / PTF Reviews Blue Baron 1.2
« on: May 21, 2018, 02:35:36 AM »
 PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 1.2
 
Man, reading digital comics is a pain now. Stupid Windows photo keeps going with clicking on the curser and enlarging a portion of the comic…and the zoom doesn’t work. I mean, yeah, I can reset it easily enough, but then it’s right back up. Seriously, what doorknob at Microsoft thought this was a good idea? I decide what is good!!
 
Speaking of….
 
 
 
 
When we last left off, Blue Baron was a top hero, Ernie was a loser; now, Blue Baron is Ernie and Ernie is Blue Baron and that has not been going well for either. Will this improve or is everyone in a lose-lose situation?
 
 
The Good.
 
The first page. Oh well. There we go. That page would have solved a good bit of my problems with the first part. Honestly, it really should have been the last page for that section as it just works better, but hey—Ernie’s mom’s name is Wanda. …gotta be honest, I was really hoping for “May.”
 
 
Blue Baron and Ernie. I just like how they are reacting to their situation. Blue Ernie is an immature teen in a superhero/multi-millionaire’s body and has no idea what to do. I think my favorite is when he goes to help the Hero Union against Bad Company. And…that’s how it really should go with Blue Ernie just messing everything up because he doesn’t know his powers, he doesn’t know how to fight, teamwork in general and it’s still pretty funny.
 
And I like how Blue Ernie interacts with various people because—he’s a little snot. Nearly every teen is a know it all little snot. Like his rundown on poor Protége. He got called out and he lashed out.
 
And Ernie Baron is not having much luck either. He’s going from a grown adult to a kid with a super smothering mom who won’t give him any space. And he has to deal with Ernie’s problems: like gym class and a bully named Slater.
 
And he’s a jerk. Best way to describe him would be Hawkeye in Superman’s body. He’s abrasive, arrogant, doesn’t think things through and is hot headed. But he’s still a good guy. He’s patient with Ernie, opens up to him and gives him the encouragement and advice he needed to save the day.
 
The writing. And now with the rest of the writing. It’s still funny. No jokes I really didn’t like. I like the parallel to how the last issue ended now with Blue Ernie having to find his way around a mansion. And the villains were super fun and wacky. And there’s some depth like Maven being a former hero and ex lover of Blue Baron. And the heroes are fun and each distinctive. And honestly…I laughed out loud at Blue Ernie just tearing into Protégé. Yeah, it was savage but so true.
 
And while Ernie Baron has gotten he short end of the stick, I liked how you have a man with superpowers not stuck in teen’s body and…well, there’s a big difference. And his ongoing war with Slater should be fun. And I like how, hanging out with a younger generation…even he wanted to change his outfit. That leads to a nice moment from Ernie that shows real maturity and appreciation for Blue Baron’s rich history.
 
And the action is really well done. Not to take away from Darin Henry, but I think a lot of that has to do with Ron Frenz.
 
 
 
The art and everything else:
 
Yeah this was a great issue. I loved the fight and how it was funny and action packed. Just a great range of angles and layout. And I really love Blue Ernie’s facial expressions when he’s about to screw up or he has to explain himself or take responsibility. And Ernie Baron and his angry, arrogant reactions to everything is fun to look at. Him trying to climb a rope or pick a fight with someone twice his new body’s size. And I really appreciate how everyone is on model. A standard that has dropped in certain companies cuffMarvelComicscuff. My favorite pages would definetly be when Blue Ernie is “helping” The Hero Union and just the action and insanity of it all. Most of the insanity being Mr. Rollercoaster.
 
It’s just nice to go back and see new things I missed in a comic the first time.
 
And the coloring and lettering is great like always. Glen Whitmore just kills it. And Sal Buscema does a great job enhancing the art with his inks, which makes sense since the two worked on Spider-Girl together. And let’s give him credit for the cover which is really nice. Man, it’s nice when a comic’s cover actually has something to do with the story inside. Maybe it’s just me, but most covers feel phoned in.
 
 
 
The Bad
 
Hey, Ernie’s dad and sister. Yeah, again, they don’t get much to do with Ernie’s dad getting a page and the little sister nothing. That’ll probably change in the next issues and this comic does have a fairly numerous supporting cast, not to mention the main characters, villains, so someone’s going to sit on the bench.
 
 
 
What I learned form what I read.
 
 Blue Baron and The Phantom have a lot in common.
  • Carson Corp is full of suck ups.
  • Ernie’s mom’s name is Wanda.
  • Never bring a rookie into a superhero fight.
  • Blue Baron may not be subtle, but he does know how to motivate.
  • Blue Baron’s one weakness: Gym class.
  • Protégé’s costume stinks. I mean maybe for a kid sidekick it’s fine…but you’re 23! Winter Soldier up!
  • Fighting an ex-teammate is bad. Fighting an ex-girlfriend makes it worse.
  • Blue Baron just won someone their fantasy league.
  • Just that a character like Mr. Rollercoaster exists.
 
Yeah, this was a really great issue. This was a fun read and review write up. I mean, the writing was great, the art is great. Only critique I have is Ernie’s dad and sister not getting much panel time or named. Some people might not like the design of some costumes but…it’s humor-action book. What do you expect?
 
 
It’s an A. With the quality and price you can’t go wrong here.
 
 

8
Reviews / PTF Reviews Blue Baron 1.1
« on: May 13, 2018, 12:38:33 PM »
 Here we goes! Brand new reviews….of comics about five or six months old. Who knows, I might even review Start Up by the year 2020 at this break neck pace.
 
 
Before the thirteen stars and bars, there was a hero who fought taxation without representation with the speed of January gale and the strength of an oxen—The Blue Baron. And then there’s Ernie: a bullied, superhero fanboy who gets way too many hugs from his mom. What happens when these two meet? Find out as we review BLUE BARON 1.1
 
 
Oh, and a brief keynote
 
Blue Ernie = Ernie in Blue Baron’s body
 
Ernie Baron = Blue Baron in Ernie’s body.
 
Memorize it. It will be your guide for the rest of the reviews.
 
 
 
The Good
 
The writing: This is a very funny book. I love the tour guide’s talk on how he wasn’t a scientist and the flashback red coat’s “see which end of the rifle is effective for extracting information.”. I like how there are superhero fantasy teams. And I can’t think of a joke I didn’t like. I also like the idea of a kid who follows superheroes becoming one of the heroes…just the one he thinks is a dork.
 
Blue Baron and Ernie are written well. We don’t really get to see much of Blue Baron when he isn’t in “witty banter mode” But from what we do get after the accident—he’s kind of a jerk. Ernie’s reactions and the brief fight he gets in with other heroes make sense—bullied kid who finally can fight back. And the reason for the fight is set up since the reflex makes total sense. And I like the bits of dialogue with Blue Baron using words like “continental” in place of money and Ernie with his ai dio mio. Just little things to make characters stand out.
 
And the issue does a great job of introducing the cast. We have the main characters. But we also get to see Ernie’s geek clique, Slater and his gang of bullies,  the Superhero Union, Carson Corp. The only people that get short changed are Ernie’s dad and his little sister, but the last page does gives us a good idea what she’s going to be like—annoying little sister. Hey, not all tropes are bad.
 
And we’re set up to a few mysteries to explore in future issues such as who is The Mikado? And the Specimen 6? What is it?
 
The art: Ron Frenz does a great job. I’ve been a fan of his work since Spider-Girl so I was extremely happy to see that he is the artist and he doesn’t disappoint. The characters are all drawn real well with various size, shape and personalities. I read you the dialogue and then show you the comic, you’d go, “okay, that’s what I was imagining or I can see that.” I already knew he could do action but his comedy is great. When Blue Ernie decides to test out his powers on some poor guy and his car is hilarious. Bull and Raider in their last panel is great with Bull just having the most happy face. The fight scenes have great energy and I love the way Blue Ernie is shown fighting: just thrashing about with his eyes closed. Something I’d see a wimpy nerd do.
 
 
 
Mayday lives! Yeah. Apparently Spider-Girl went to a different universe, got married, and had kids. Good for her. Because Marvel Comics are pretty bad right now.
 
 
The coloring and lettering. I like it all. The colors really pop. Especially the sound effects during fights. And the colors and style make sense like “Thug” is pretty simple and orange and when Ernnie spills his milk SPLASH is colored white or GOOSH is…how you’d imagine it. The lighting during the flashback stands out to me. And the inking by Sal Buscema is great. He always jelled really welll with Frenz in the Spider-Girl book and the magic is still there.
 
The Bad
 
How the issue ends. Okay, I get that this is a comic split up into bits and it ends on a funny joke, but it does violate one rule of first issues I have…leave me wanting to read the next issue. Just some intrigue or a cliffhanger that can’t make me wait to pick up the next issue. It jus doesn’t hammer that for me.
 
A few names please. I kind of wish we had gotten the first names of Ernie’s family. The mom especially since she’s in it way more. I don’t know, it’s just a pet peeve of mine. Probably because (insert name) would be easier to write in a review than Ernie’s little sister.
 
Bad tour layout. Haven’t we learned anything about kids going on a field trip to anything scientific? Especially when there’s a door labeled “RESTRICTED.” ‘Cause you know one of those little mutants is going to get all gamma powered up or something. Usually it’s the loser nerdy kid.
 
What I learned.
 
 That I was right in Freshmen American History; there were superpowered people who defended the colonists against the redcoats.
  • Apparently, the Blue Baron Universe and Marvel Universe have the same “we’re heroes, let’s just fight” rules.
  • I don’t blame Bull. I too look for a reason to say that phrase in life. Sadly, nothing has come up yet.
  • Only idiots draft Blue Baron in the first round in Superhero Fantasy Leagues.
  • I don’t know what’s worse: having a field trip in science labs with an open restricted door…or that there was a particle disemmentator on display!!!
  • Classic costumes never go out of style.
  • Ernie’s mom might be too smothering. You people decide.
  • Slater has perfected his bully technique well.
  • I don’t know who this Cedric Carson is but I’m willing to be he’s not important to the story at all. Nope.
  • When your supervillain name is Liquidator…your story has really only two ways to end…and it’s not the one where you become a cartoon water dog
 
It’s a good issue. The writing and art are great. Coloring and lettering is super. I can’t say it’s a great issue because the ending feels so abrupt and doesn’t pull the reader to wanting the next issue immediately. And I hate when characters are introduced and not named that issue. I’ll give it a B+
 
 
And for everyone who wants to give this a read, last I checked, this issue is free at the Sitcomics website. Check it out. Read it.
 
And now to review—THE ISSUES I HAD TO PAY FOR!!
 
 

9
Reviews / PTF Reviews Super Suckers #4
« on: February 13, 2018, 09:11:57 PM »
 PTF Reviews Super Suckers 4.1
 
Back by popular demand…one person! And that person is the creator! Will he regret that decision? Lets find out as we read--
 
Super Suckers cuatro el dotto uno!!!
 
 
 
Things I liked:
 
The writing. Hey, it’s the first part for a story and it gets the ball rolling like it should do. We get to learn more about Jess and where she works. We’re introduced to my new favorite character Ruben. We have the universe and everyone in it taking it to Stewart. You have continuity with Kelly’s wackiness coming to bite her and Trevor wanting the date Jess promised him. Stewart dealing with Vera being in love with him is great. And I like that the universe and everyone not Vera just does not like him. Vera is great this issue with RHO as she pretty much does not half acknowledge the existence of what is going on. We’re introduced to WILLLLOOOW JENKINNNNNSSS (no, sadly, she doesn’t charge into the room recklessly) And we get a nice twist to end the issue. And I don’t know why but in the basement during the coup planning, I like how they’re in the dark and using candles. It’s just so stupid and I love it.
 
The art. Hah. I love the kid sticking his tongue out at the readers on page 10 and the reactions he gets. It’s just a fun way to introduce F.U.C and making it fun. And yeah, it’s the normal great art by Shultz. Another sequence I liked is Stewart in the trash and having a bird fly involved in the scene gives a good indication of pace and time. It’s just the Archie style done right. Too bad it’s not being done at Archie, but I’ll take greatness where I can find it.
 
Coloring and lettering. Standard good stuff I expect. I love Kelly’s color scheme when she learns she could be kicked out of RHO. The yellows are great. Also the lighting in the basement. As for the lettering we have Tatiana’s word balloon with the bold lines when she’s responding to Jess on how her voice sounds deep when angry. Plus we get a few icy cold word balloons from Jess and Kelly.
 
The Gang’s All Here: Well, if you wanted everyone in the comic back, you got it. And I think all the supporting characters have the time that each one warrants. So if you’re a stickler for “everyone has to be in this comic.” Here you go. Be quiet now!
 
Kelly: Last issue I had a problem with her being slightly out of character—A.K.A. being a major jerk. Well, she’s back to be her nice self. We even learn her last name is Kellogg. Which fills me with hope that one day a character named D'Artagnan General Mills will grace the world. And with all the trouble being a vampire has causes her she now has to deal with a coup and having to get a popular band just to keep herself in RHO RHO RHO. I just thought she was a highlight this issue with her various reactions.
 
Paisley’s turned heel!  Before she was just acerbated by the wacky people around her, now she wants to take over! Or at least get rid of Kelly and Vera. I like this because it gives the Paisley character something to do, gives her more personality, and it does make sense since she didn’t like Vera being put in the sorority and got her objections being shot down by Kelly. Also how Kelly’s been acting since being a vampire. So it does make sense. Not saying it couldn’t have used development, but I do like the idea and concept of it all and it will probably lead to some good stories later on. So it’s definitely more good than bad.
 
Ruben: I like this guy. Just his reactions to different people are great. He has my favorite line in the comment on page 15 that made me laugh out loud for a good bit.
 
Things I did not like.
 
 WILLOOOWWW JJEEENNNWARRGOOO…? Whuh?: When the National President of RHO RHO RHO was first introduced her name was Willow JENKINS. When Kelly enters kangaroo court, her name is now Willow WARGO. And this isn’t the first time for the series as Paisley went by a different name (India) from one issue to the next before, hopefully, settling on Paisley. These little mistakes drive me crazy. I mean, I understand making mistakes. It’s going to happen. I’m sure Darin Henry had and has a ton of other stuff going on. My problem is not catching it. This is just something you would see on a proofread.
 
 
 “Paisley’s been after my presidency since I was elected.” I just wish that line wasn’t there because—I just never got that attitude from any of Paisley’s past issues., I like the concept and idea but the reasoning for it feels forced. I think it would work better if Paisley was upset that she was ignored (like in the first issue about wanting to paint lettering red two hours ago and letting Vera join RHO) and just Kelly’s weirdness since becoming a vampire (see issue two with the make-up dilemma) and it just built up to her becoming an antagonist instead of having it just “she always wanted my job.”
 
 
 Hey where’d that candle go? Paisley had a candle with her in the basement and then it’s gone. WHERE DID IT GO?! WHERE DID IT GO?!?  Eh, I guess she could have put it down or something. Not that big a deal when you think about it…
 
 
 No commercials. Eh, I guess some will miss them. I liked the story enough where I didn’t miss them, but if you’re into the feel of reading a sitcom then yeah.
 
What I learned from what I read.
 
 Lyric is smarter than Summer, which is like saying a rock is smarter than poop.
  • You get unlimited refills with your Big Swig Chug Mug.
  • The Johnny Thunderheart Band is the greatest band since The Misfits!
  • Trevor, Ever Vigilant Security Associate!!!
  • Kelly’s last name is Kellogg.
  • Ruben has a backstory we all should know.
  • There are people who make plans, and people who make the plans reality. Guess which one you want to be.
  • RHO RHO RHO really has a lot on its plate. Blood drives, couples get together, Greek Fest...it’s almost too much work to get to the fun!
  • “Young Women Get Killed In Basements pt 4” is the best in the series. The worse?  “Young Women Get Vaguely Harmed In Basements.” Stupid PG-13 rating.
  • Paisley is SUPER peeved she did not get to go to the beach with the rest of the sorority.
 
 
Overall
 
 
Yeah, it’s a super fun issue. The art and writing is the usual greatness I expect. Jess has workplace problems, Kelly has to find a way to stay in RHO RHO RHO, and Stewart has to deal with Vera. Vera…eh, she orbits reality occasionally like normal. It’s a great read and fun. I like Ruben. Willow and Tatiana look to be fun antagonists going ahead for the rest of the story. And I like Paisley turning bad. I think the series needs a reoccurring villain. Like how Teddy Ruxpin had Tweeg.
 

 
I watched the Teddy Ruxpin cartoon when I was a kid. I’m old. I’m shocked I remember so much about it. But I’m not ashamed. Because there is nothing to be ashamed about.  NOTHING
 
There are problems with this issue. Like not being able to keep characters names straight. It’s just a constant problem this series has had. And I think Paisley’s heel turn was forced; I think it should have been developed more.
 
But while annoying, name problems doesn’t affect the Willow character and I like Paisley’s new attitude in this story and where it could lead.
 
I give this issue a B+
 
 
 
So tune in next time when I review Super Suckers 4.2.!!!

10
Reviews / PTF Reviews Super Suckers #3
« on: February 02, 2018, 12:04:27 PM »
 PTF Previews Super Suckers 3.1.
 
Well, we’re back. And before I begin the review, I want to give you, the readers, some helpful advice. Just because you have a warranty on something it doesn’t mean: A) the people you have the warranty with will come when they promise and B) that they will actually FIX what is wrong.
 
So yeah, apparently seven hundred dollars down the drain.

 
But lucky for me, Sitcomics is back so there are comics I can afford!
 
Super Suckers is the story of two college girls turned vampires, their personal blood bank/butt monkey and their cavalcade of friends and one shot antagonist and the hot guy of the issue as they try to live their undead lives.
 
When we last left off: RHO RHO RHO House was haunted by a vengeful spirit, Jess was possessed and Kelly learned—wait wait, wait. Something’s off. That sounds like a bad fan fic.
 
Anyway, let’s get to the review.
 
Things I liked:
 
 The Story. Hey, it’s vampires at the beach, a deadly game of frisbee, and a guy ending up with his head in a horse’s butt. That’s what I want in every comic. And it’s pretty funny from the start with the Amish County exit cracking me up all the way to Vera leaving Stewart to die alone.. And I like the dynamic of Jess and Kelly. Jess is more of a loner who really just wants to study, Kelly is a people’s person who pretty much just wants to socialize and meet boys. The Stewart and Vera dynamic is great. I’m a big fan of going overboard with slang and dialect (probably why I’m the only person I know who likes Gambit, my hombres.) so I like the Spencer character. This the first part of the story and it leaves at a good point where I want to read the next issue, so it accomplishes a lot. So credit to Darin Henry, Jenn Lloyd and Kevin Bonani.
 
 The Art. Jeff Shultz. This is probably the best art I’ve seen from him. It has everything I like. You have different locals, different people, different things, it’s just amazing work. Yeah, the old, “everyone looks the same” old school Archie art criticism is not here. It has everything you want. Heck, it has what I like the most: stuff happening in the background. I love going back and seeing what I missed in a first reading. I just love how Jonas and Virgil are drawn, you instantly hate them. Just a lot of talent and versatility in this issue.
 
 The coloring and lettering. Hey anytime I can see DONK and SLAMMO, I’m happy. And there’s a good example of lettering making a story funny. There’s a panel on page nine where it looks like a kid has the word balloons on a string. I’m pretty sure there is a real balloon with the word balloons put over it—and it’s just funnier to me this way. So score one for Marshall Dillon. And off topic, he should really thank his parents for an awesome name.  And Glen Whitmore is banging the colors once again. Jess’s sunburn looks legit and it’s just a wide range of colors from the grass to the ocean to the sand.
4. Senor Uva. It made me smile. And during this cold, harsh winter, I need reasons to smile since obviously heat will not be an option for me.



5. The Letter page. I don't normally read letter pages, but I went back and made special exception since one of our own is showcased. It was fun with Darin answering questions.

 
 
 
Things I didn’t like:
 
 Same commercials. Yeah, for anyone who’s read the first two issues, we get just reprints of the old commercials. I mean, still good, but nothing new for me.
 
 
 Didn’t name Lyric and Summer. Nitpicky but they have appeared in every issue (well if we put the parts together). I mean, I knew them but if someone new was reading this they’d probably wonder who they were so probably a name drop would have been nice.
 
 
 
Things I’ve learned from reading this comic:
 
 My dad would like this issue because it has a joke from his favorite movie, Police Academy.
  • Hundo P is surfer slang for 100 percent and; coincidentally, will be the name of my next starter pokemon no matter what.
  • First aid is a lot different than what I thought it would be.
  • If you’re an optimistic main character and have an internal thought, the universe will reward you.
  • If you’re a pessimistic main character who says “what could possibly go wrong?” The universe will show you.
  • The hotter the female, the prickier the boyfriend.
  • Can’t invite someone of the same sex to a couples retreat and not expect being thought of as a couple in this liberal PC Netflix world we’re living in.
  • Jess is a pre-med student.
  • I like this issue because it has a joke from my favorite movie, Muppet Treasure Island.
  • Frisbee, the disc of doom.
 
This is a great issue. Makes me remember why I like the series, writing, humor, the art. It’s just a great collaboration. Only had a few nitpicks here and there. And we still haven’t met the nurse lady in the intro who I’m guessing is the bad guy of the issue. I got all six new issues at comixology for 1.99. I was going to get Blue Baron but I’m down 700 bucks and…they had Mighty Morphin Power Rangers on sale. So maybe next month?
 
Anyway, I give this issue an A. So anyone who hasn’t read should give this series a chance. It’s a super fun book.
 
So be here next time where we check on the condition of Stewart, learn how Jess will deal with being a fried tomato and if Kelly will date and/or eat Spencer. And other surprises I’m sure are in store in Super Suckers 3.2 Electric Boogaloo!
 

 
And yes, I will always make that joke.

11
All About Archie / Riverdale season two episode three.
« on: October 30, 2017, 04:02:49 AM »
Just random thoughts because I finally watched the episode a few days ago.

I'm really starting to not be impressed with this Black Hood. I mean, three of the four people he's targeted have survived. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that he killed off Ms. Grundy and we'll never have to deal with her again, but c'mon! He shot Moose and Midge at point blank range and killed neither! That's pathetic.

Oh hey, there's a Midge! Yay! And she's cute! And into drugs because this is a CW show! Yay!

Y'know I had a pretty low opinion of Sheriff Keller last season--and it's even lower now. You've got the Black Hood taunting him, the pain in the neck small time paper lady just not doing anything he says, the mayor looks down on him, Archie has his own little battalion going on, and even Mr. Weatherbee puts him in his place. When the high school principal tells you to shove off, you have no respect in the community. And that's not mentioning not knowing what his idiot son is doing at night.

Speaking off..

Okay, I'm supposed to believe that Kevin Keller cannot find another guy in Rivedale? Look at Riverdale! It's liberal city!!! You have every minority, drugs, relationships on various age levels! Do you know how many characters have pulled a reverse Michael Jackson?  And he has to go to the wood and no...I don't know what he does in the woods. I don't want to know what he does in the woods. Oh, and excuse Betty for not wanting you to go out at night when there's a killer about. Like, int he general area where Moose and Midge were shot at!!!

And if Kevin is lonely, he should just join Archie Red Circle. Did you see that video? Why were they dressed like that?!?!

Do like Cheryl taking advantage of this to get back at Betty for blackmailing her.

And I don't know if this has been said--but Cheryl is freaking insane!!! She burnt her home and crippled up her mom (who deserved it) makes her watch Jason getting shot (still not feeling bad for her.) Also she somehow takes back the Vixens because she said so. I guess that's how it works...?

Archie is reaching all time levels of dumb. I mean, I get he's scared and angry but he isn't just taking the idiot ball, he's inventing new dumb games to use the idiot ball in. Like listening to Hiram Lodge. He's not even trying to hide he's evil. He's going to cause a panic in all of Riverdale, I don't trust him with a gun.

So Toni Topaz...she's a character. Again, having Trula Twyst would make more sense, have her manipulate Jughead--but we got to have the most overrated character ever in comics in this show. I love Fernando Ruiz, but sometimes I just want to kick him in the shins for what he's done to us. :)

(I'm just joking. He gave us Raj. It evens out. )

Alice Cooper and Hermoine Lodge are the worse type of people. When they're at their lowest, they'll be friendly with you to get them to help--but when they get back on their feet, they turn on you and go back to being the rotten human beings they are.

Also on the Kevin being lonely thing...didn't he and Moose--y'know what. We got Midge now. I'm just ignoring it. Moose and Midge forever. Kevin can be lonely.

And what's up with the South Side. It's like Escape from New York in that place!!! Or The Warriors. What kind of place is it where you get beat up on by a gang called The Ghoulies?

Alice Cooper is an idiot. Black Hood...no one would testify against you. Love the look Betty gave her after Alice acted like Polly leaving was somehow Betty's fault.

I gotta say, I'm not liking this season as much. I liked the first season because I liked Jughead and Betty together solving the mystery. This season we have them separated and Archie running around being a moron. I mean, Jughead is still narrating and writing this down so...shouldn't he um be the focal point?

Granted, he's been banished to the nether region, his dad's gang wants him to join, he's trying to start up Lost Boys High school paper, owes a favor to and evil lawyer, separated from--see, this is what I'm talking about. I'm way more interested in Jughead than Archie--and Archie is trying to become a vigilante or something!!

Is Hermione bipolar? Because she seems to be shifting from good to bad, jealous of Veronica to loving, taking in a pregnant girl to wanting her daughter to seduce someone. Seriously, writers. Pick something and stick with it!

Veronica, you will get to go in your daddy's study one day! If there is one thing I've learned from President Trump--evil rich guys love their daughters and want daddy daughter days all the time! Get a little desk right next to him.

Oh, and I hope Smithers mom is okay.


Anyway, final thoughts: it's an okay episode. Jughead's stuff is way more interesting to me, but he seems to be in Archie's role from last season where he's locked out of the main mystery going on. Archie's a dummy. Betty is still sweet. I like the storyline with Veronica trying to connect with her father and hoping against hope he's trying to be a better person.

Oh I almost forgot...

Thoughts on Mr. Lodge. Poor casting choice. They should have cast Dario Cuertes from Lucha Underground instead. Then you can have Hiram doing underground fighting and feeding people to his brother. It would have fit the series perfectly. Yeah, just this guy who ruins the entire town, everyone in it, putting them in horrible situations because he likes violence. Darn it, I started this as a joke, but now I want it! :)







12
All About Archie / Riverdale episode 13: The Sweet Hereafter
« on: May 11, 2017, 11:47:55 PM »
SPOILERS.

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

Hey, there's going to be a season six of Total Drama Island.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

..

.
.

I finally have enough money saved to get a 3DS. I'm thinking Litten as my stater.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"Cliff hanger" heh-heh. Jughead, you witty person you.


Turns out you can't get rich from Maple Syrup as it was just a front for drug trafficking from Montreal...the evil part of Canada. Mayor Josie's Mom decides she's going to stomp out corruption kind of like how Donald Trump has dinner with James Comey. Instead of focusing on herself or the Blossoms, she's going after the easy targets: Those loveable scamps The Serpents.

Sheriff Dummy wants FP to give names for a lighter sentence but FP says the Serpents don't deal in heavy drugs, just weed and bros before your only son.

At the jubillee...seriously there was just a prom a few days ago!!!... she is going to have Betty and Archie front and center to sing and give a speech as the heroes of the town. Okay, Archie is no hero. He only contributed at the end said contributions were breaking and entering and putting on a dead kid's jacket.

Betty points this out, but Mr. Blackbee doesn't have the integrity of his white comic counterpart (Hey, I'm the not the writers making nearly every black character on this show evil or a jerk!) and tells her to shut up and go along.

Betty's got other problems as her family is trying to ignore what happened and acting like one big happy family. Veronica and Archie finally tell Betty that they are seeing each other and she's cool with it since she's with Jughead, a true blue hero...

Who is being sent to the South Side to a foster home and having to transfer out of Riverdale. Apparently Fred Andrews is disqualified because of money and a DUI off screen (Boo! Show don't tell!)

And it's not easy on the workside as Hermoine has lapsed into being a ...witch and fired all the Serpent workers and want's him to sell his stack in the land before Hiram comes back. She even wants Veronica to seduce Archie to help with that. Veronica, being one of the only five people worth a flip in this show) disapproves. I'm thinking Smithers lied about Hermoine.

Cheryl is acting weird (well besides the usual bi-polar of being really mean and then being nice) as she gives up being captain of the vixens, apologizes to Jughead and even gives him something to pawn for money.

And Penelope is in real...witch mode herself as she is cold to Cheryl and won't even let her stay home....also why did Sheriff Keller leave that rope up in the barn? He is horrible at his job. Eh, like that will have an effect on her.

Archie goes to FP where FP tells him Jughead will go into the darkness and he needs to be there for Jughead before that happens. He of course doesn't.

Jughead decides to give in and go to South Side High where...dear lord. You know those 90 movies that have horrible schools like the Substitute? Times that by ten and add in North Korea. That's about what South Side is. Betty and the gang (well not Kevin because...where the heck is he??) get him and show he's loved.

Too bad Cheryl is trying to kill herself in the frozen Sweetwater lake. She falls in but Archie (with no time to take of his shirt to show his abbs) breaks the ice with his bare, bloody hands, pulls her out, and breaths life back into her body! Okay, fine. Archie finally did something heroic.

Veronica takes her home and Hermoine is still being a...witch.

Jughead sees his dad. Jughead don't turn heel! If I can believe in Megatron being heroic, I know you can overcome this.

Archie and The Pussycats sing, Betty gives a speech that inspires Riverdale to overcome the darkness that is engulfing Riverdale! That Archie is Riverdale! Veronica is Riverdale! Whenever Kevin is there, he is Riverdale! Reggie is...well, he's not Riverdale. Fred regains his faith in humanity and refuses to sell! Puppies and kittens are playing together in the streets!!

And the gang goes off for shakes at Pops and everything's happy! Yeeeeeeeaaaahhhhh!

(Looks at watch)

Huh. There's about seven minutes left.

And this is the CW Channel. With the guy who decided "Zombies in Riverdale" as the creator of the show.

Uh-oh.

Archie and Veronica make out...ah. There's those abbs.

Jughead and Betty are making out in FP's trailer when the Serpents show up and offer to help Jughead, don't take that jacket Jughead...don't....NOOOOOOO!!!

Cheryl burns down the mansion. Whatever.

Huh. I don't see Nana Rose...eh whatever.

Oh and there's a robbery at Pop's where Fred Andrews gets shot. Whatever.

Jughead turned heel. and I feel like I did when my hamster died... :(



Anyway, pretty good episode. I do have a few problems with it but those problems are the same through the series but it was great. Great cliffhanger, storylines were advanced. The acting was good. Archie actually did something worthwhile. So until next season...or I get around talking about what I liked and didn't like about the show.


13
All About Archie / Riverdale episode 12: Anatomy of a Murder.
« on: May 05, 2017, 04:48:28 AM »
Spoilers for anyone who hasn't watched the episode.


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.

It turns out the murderer of Jason Blossom was

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Seriously, if you don't want to know and scrolled down this far, don't blame me.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Clifford Blossom. Okay, it stormed in my area so I missed some parts in the episode but from what I can piece together from what I saw. Jason didn't want part of the family business (not the maple syrup part) and wanted to leave with Polly and needed money so he wanted to run drugs for JP and Serpents. They decide to hold him for ransom because "rich kid" but that leads to Clifford shooting Jason. Looks like one of the serpents (the one who was going to clobber Archie in the bar) had roughed him up pretty bad.

Also on a more creepy level, we find out why Hal stole the evidence from Sheriff Useless and why the sudden mood swing: turns out grandfather Cooper...was a Blossom. That's right. The Coopers are really Blossoms, they just gave up the family name after their side of the family tree was robbed of their wealth. So Betty and Cheryl are cousins and Polly and Jason...are something I see in the South far too often.


Daddy Jones confesses to the murder because Clifford went to him when he went to jail and told him he'd kill Jughead if he didn't take the blame. I mean, yeah, he kidnapped and dumped the body, but y'know...who am I kidding, he's garbage. :)


The evidence was found on a flash drive after Joaquin leads them to where he stashed Jason's jacket. So that was his insurance.

When Sheriff Moron finally arrives at the Blossom compound he finds Clifford hung himself in the barn and several barrels with drugs. So that was what Jason was trying to get away from. So yeah. Jason was the only pure hearted red head on this show. And you can argue Archie when he stops going after every girl he sees! :)

Anyway random thoughts.


Jughead had it rough this episode. His friends betray him, his dad is in jail, all the adults treat him like garbage, and when he wants to live with his mom...she's moved on wants him to stay out of her and his sister's life. So all the hope of his family ever being together was for nothing. I'm a guy, and even I wanted to give him a hug.

Oh, and the adults in this episode, save for Alice Cooper, took a few levels in dumb. As the kids try to explain that gun was planted but are not believed. Fred took an extra level in jerkiness, too with his treatment of Jughead. He was so bad, Archie wanted to move to Chicago. Seriously, do you know how bad you are when being in Chicago is better than being in a room with you? Did you all not see that Draft?


The random serpent guy I didn't bother remember was killed and made to look like an overdose with money from a bag with the initials H L on them.


Betty Cooper really carries this episode as she proves that she and Jughead are the real stars of this show and the only two with fully functional brains. She even figures out "hole in jacket" something probably in the linen of the jacket. I mean, probably didn't need Archie to put the dead kid's jacket on, but Archie has been a jerk for a good bit, so yeah. Serves you right. Ghost cooties.

Sheriff Keller is an idiot.

Hiram is getting out of jail, so y'know nature hates a void so we're getting a new evil rich guy! Yay!

Kevin inherited a good deal of Sheriff Rosco's braincells, but luckily he has smart friends who convince him something is up with his boyfriend.

The House GOP reads healthcare bills better than Sheriff Keller examines evidence.  Well, evidence that doesn't get stole from him.

Hal breaks into the Cooper home to destroy the evidence and reveals...ewwww...and of course The Coopers get Polly the heck out of their. The transmission cuts off a bit, but Betty probably said something awesome to Penelope.

The transmission again goes out when Betty and Polly talk. So someone will have to fill me in on what they said.

Betty should be the Sheriff of Riverdale.

Apparently Pop Tates is like Wal-Mart: opened 24/7

Jughead is upset that his dad will stay in jail because...y'know disposing the body, kidnapping, perjury. While I know that this seems right in the normal world, I don't like agreeing with Sheriff Hindrance.

I want to feel bad for Cheryl...but nah. Maybe this will make her a better villain later on. Seriously, you tell everyone that Betty kidnapped and tortured someone...and Betty is still doing Homecoming? Your dad was right, you are a disappointment. :)



So my thoughts, all joking aside. I liked the episode, but I think the mystery could have been done a bit better.

Okay, let's take the Cooper/Blossom thing. Jughead and Betty were researching everything and they never stumbled across this or looked into it? I mean, I'm pretty sure town hall, archives, old newspapers. But whatever.
What bothers me is that this wasn't hinted at. Heck, how about something like "Polly and Jason have the same eyes" or some sort of comment.

And I'm supposed to remember that one random Serpent from when he messed up the costruction site in the dark and in the darkly lit bar?

Just a few subtle hints like when Monk goes over "Here's what happened" and I can go "oh okay, I missed that in the beginning but it's there." Just so I have a chance to get all the clues instead of two big bits revealed that I had no way of knowing. But I will give them credit for Clifford telling the family "I looked our son's killer in the eye" as proof he went to the jail. It's just one or two little tweeks to make this perfect.



But the jacket and it's importance did come up. And again, at least you had the two stars of the show, Betty and Jughead go to their board, eliminate suspect and come down to the finally two, The Blossoms.

And you really feel for Jughead. Man, do you feel for this kid. All the adults dump on him, his dad's in jail and still a criminal, and his mother doesn't want him in her life and when he tries to leave Riverdale he's stuck. Heck, he even moves into the Andrews garage after he overhears Fred not wanting him for fear something could happen to Archie. Great work by Cole.

And Reinhart. Those two are the main reason why I like this show. And Camilla. And the chuckles I get when Archie is just randomly shirtless for no reason but to show his abs. "Hey, let's go jog in my boxers to Ms. Grundy's."



So it was a great episode...and this isn't even the season finale!





14
All About Archie / Riverdale episode 10: The Lost Weekend
« on: April 14, 2017, 10:32:48 AM »
It's Jughead's birthday as Betty tries to throw him a small, nice party--which is ruined by the two main villains of the show. Archie is depressed that not only is he and Valerie through but his parents are finally getting their divorce finalized. Veronica must come to terms with how ruthless her father can be. And Midge has to come to terms that she is non corporeal and that's okay.

Okay I know it's not right to start random musing with preview at the end...but Riverdale is too dangerous and CHICAGO is the better option!??


That's right, I was right as Cheryl teams up with Chuck to cause trouble just because they are both evil jerks who everyone hates, so why not?

I'm really enjoying Bughead as they are both damaged people who are decent human beings who have found each other and have connected. Jughead doesn't think he can be who Betty deserves and Betty thinks she has to be perfect. In the end they realize what they are. Honestly, I thought they were going to break up but Poppa Jones actually was a parent for a good ten seconds.

EEEEE Jughead took his hat off for Betty!!! EEEEE

I mean, Poppa Jones wasn't a parent for the entire kegger party, but hey, he's an alcoholic, thief, and possible murderer. Let's not hold him to too high of standards.

It looks like The Lodge Family has something on the Blossom family as they have forced the red hair clan to pay them a large amount of money every month--for seventy-five years!!! I'm guessing Great grandpa Lodge has evidence showing Great Grandpa Blossom killing Not as Great Cooper. Probably on VHS or something. That was around back then, right?

Speaking of Hiram, he hears that Veronica won't testify that he's a good human being--so he threatens to take down Hermoine with him unless Veronica says exactly what he wants!! Humanitarian of the years, folks.

Veronica: Smithers, is my mom good?

Smithers: A saint.

Veronica: What about my father?

Smithers: He's evil incarnate and has committed acts of cruelty that have made the world an irreversible worse place. I found religion solely on the need to believe there is a hell waiting for him.

Smithers: Oh, and how was school today, miss?

Veronica: ...

I think I might move Chuck up on my "going to get killed" list since he punched the son of a the local gang leader with said gang leader in the room and throwing him out.

And it looks like everyone is starting to get sick of Cheryl as the cheerleaders side with Veronica and even her two newly unemployed henchwomen/ vixens don't even vote for her. I guess it doesn't help that if you breath the wrong way this crazy psycho red head tries to ruin your life. To paraphase a horrible C Reiley movie "THE WRONG TWIN DIED THAT DAY."

To deal with getting dumped and his parents divorce Archie gets drunk before the birthday party and then gets drunk even more during the kegger party. And he even drunk dials his dad after the worst bit of camera work ever on the show thus far.

I like how even Poppa Jones acknowledges that the kids are the ones he needs to worry about.

And he probably feels a lot worse now that so much more information was given out during Cheryl and Chuck's revenge fest.

Joaquin: They're going to find out--they're going to know!

Jones: No they won't.

Cheryl: ...Did you know that Lodge hired the Serpents to ruin the theater?

(Joaquin gives Jones a death glare)

(Jones takes a sip of his beer)

Jones: Meddling kids.


...Actually, come to think of it, it really wasn't that good of a revenge. I mean, yeah, you told about Archie banging Ms. Grundy...but that'll only make him more popular. Veronica nailed Cheryl with the the twincest and killiing her own brother. And in the end, the characters ended up in a better place with Bughead stronger after dealing with issues  and Veronica needed to get some anger out of her system. Heck, Cheryl gave the teens more pieces to the puzzle of the murder of Jason.

...

Wow. Cheryl is a horrible villain. She doesn't succeed at anything! I mean, yeah, she's snarky and gets in good lines, but that's all she is!

Turns out that Alice Cooper used to be a Serpent.

Also Mr. Weatherbee decides it's okay for her to advise on the Blue and Gold because...eh. Whatevers.

She also caught Joaquin talking with Poppa Jones and she told Betty. Yep, Jones, those kids are the ones you have to worry about. BIG TIME.

And Archie and Veronica might be a thing. Well, it's a huge upgrade over Valerie. I swear, there should be a rule about bad Dan Parent ideas staying in one medium only.

Veronica decides to tell the world how great her dad is and he rewards her with a pearl necklace. That's good because she broke the last one out of grief about the parent of a friend who attempted suicide because of him.

Veronica decides to join up with Bughead and crazy mom to investigate what is going on. So yeah, that makes three of the four main characters now in the interesting storyline while Archie...

I dunno, there's about four episodes left in the season so he'll probably be with six different girls, mope about his music, and whine about his parents while occasionally showing his abs. See, I never got the hate for comic Archie, but this guy. Yeah. I get that hate.

Anyway this was a very good episode. The only thing I can say I hated was The Archie drunk camera thing they were going for as it looked really stupid. No episode next week as...there's a gamer contest??

Okay, what's up with these video game tournament shows? TBS has one and now CW? You know what I do when I want to see someone play video games? I go on youtube and watch Markiplier.




15
Fan Fiction / Jughead in Hearts and Kisses.
« on: February 14, 2017, 08:57:52 PM »
 Page 1
 
Panel one: Jughead is lying in a heap in his bed as his stomach is grumbling. Jughead has half the cover on him so we can see his shorts and feet. One of Jughead’s socks has slipped off his foot. Jughead has his left arm over his eyes as he tries to ignore his stomach. Jughead’s bed and room have various food wrappers and pizza boxes lying on the ground. On his door is a dart board of hate with Trula’s picture on it with five darts on her smirking lips. Lying in a pile are various Derby Dalton comics. On a nearby counter is a picture of The Archies with a slice of pizza lying over it. We can see that he’s mark over Reggie’s face to give him a mustache and missing teeth.
 
Jughead’s stomach: Forsythe Jones the 3rd, rise. We must venture forth early this Valentine’s Day morn.
 
Jughead: No…Valentine’s Day bad…hibernation good…
 
Panel two: Jughead’s eyes pop open as his stomach continue to growl.
 
Jughead’s stomach: Have you forgotten the layaway from a year past, my indolent host?
 
Panel three: Jughead leaps out of bed in pure excitement.
 
Jughead: The giant chocolate frosted sugar supreme bomb of Mama B’s!!
 
Jughead: She only makes it once a year and they sell like hot cakes! I paid her a year in advance to make sure I got the biggest, bestest one!
 
Jughead’s stomach: Yes, YES!  Now, I will wait patiently. Digesting gum to bide the time.
 
Page 2
 
Panel one: Jughead is at his front door as he begins to reach for the door knob as he licks his lips.
 
Jughead: One bite of that delectable sweet will make this entire rotten lovey dovey pish posh fricka frack I’ll have to trudge through worth it!
 
Panel two: Jughead opens the door as Ethel is dressed up in a heart costume with a banner reading: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY. She has her lips puckered for a kiss as Jughead looks blankly at her.
 
Ethel: Do you know what today is, Juggie?
 
Panel three: Jughead just slams the door in her face nonchalantly.
 
Jughead: International Door Slamming Day.
 
SFX: SLAM
 
Panel four: Jughead is walking away from the door as Ethel is knocking on the door.
 
Ethel outside: Hear that? That’s my heart beating for you!
 
Jughead: Thought it was the theme to JAWS.
 
Panel five: Outside Ethel is kicking and punching at the door as Jughead is sneaking out a side window of the house.
 
SFX: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
 
Ethel: Jughead!! Come out!! It’s the day of love!!
 
SFX: KICK KICK
 
Ethel: LOVE!
 
Page 3
 
Panel one: Ethel turns around to see Jughead running away into the distance.
 
Ethel: Sigh. He’s so adorable when he plays hard to get.
 
Panel two: A close up on Ethel as she winks at the reader.
 
Ethel: But this year, Ethel Muggs came prepared.
 
Panel three: Jughead is looking back with a smile as he takes long strides down a sidewalk.
 
Jughead: Well, that’s that for Ethel.
 
Panel four: Jughead is shocked to see Ethel, now dressed in regular clothes right behind him, holding a plate with a cloche over it. Jughead stops in mid stride as he looks on in disbelief that Ethel somehow got ahead of him.
 
Ethel: Juggie! Fancy running into you!
 
Caption: Wait, What?
 
Panel five: Jughead is talking to a caption box as Ethel is frozen in place. The caption box is right at Jughead’s face ast they talk.
 
Jughead: Something wrong?
 
Caption: No. It’s just…. Um…I get your stomach talking to you, but how did she get ahead of you?
 
Panel six: Jughead slightly shrugs his shoulders at the caption box as the caption box tilts as if trying to sneak off the panel.
 
Jughead: You understand how my stomach has gained independent sentience…? You’re loony.
 
Caption: …I’m just going to say out of the way for the rest of the story unless there’s an emergency…
 
 
Page 4
 
Panel one: Over the shoulders of Ethel as Ethel begins to lift the cloche as Jughead turns his head.
 
Ethel: So how about the juggie love ship deck Ethel bay with a kissie wissie?
 
Jughead: The S.S. Jughead has set shore and laid anchor at Never Going To Happen Land.
 
Panel two: Ethel has the cloche up to reveal a pile of delicious chocolate cookies with the chocolate bits shaped like harts. The aroma goes into his nostrils as he is overtaken. Jughead is reaching out with both hands for the cookies as he has his tongue hanging down his chin.
 
Jughead: Raise anchor! Set the sails!
 
Panel three: Ethel slams the lid back down as Jughead bangs his fingers against the cloche as he winces in pain as pain stars surround his hands.
 
Ethel: No so fast!
 
Panel four: Ethel holds out her head and puckers her lips for Jughead to kiss. Jughead is blowing into his pain riddled finger as he tries to blow away the pain stars over each digit. A jogger confused jogger looks on at Jughead not noticing an open manhole.
 
Ethel: If you want cookies in stomach I want lips on lips. A kiss for a cookie. Sugar for sugar.
 
Panel five: Jughead takes a step back off-panel as Ethel closes her eyes and can barely contain herself as she thinks she’s finally going to get all the kisses she wants. The man is leaping out of the manhole as an alligator sticks it’s head out to bite at him.
 
Jughead: Fine. Just give me a few seconds.
 
Ethel: Tee-hee.
 
Page 5
 
Panel one: The entire panel is black with only Ethel’s thought balloon.
 
Ethel thought balloon: It’s finally happening!
 
Panel two: Pure black as the first panel save for the thought balloon.
 
Ethel thinking: And Jughead is so happy! Listen to him pant and bark.
 
Panel three: The panel is pure black save for the middle to show Ethel is opening her eyes to see Hot Dog and Vegas charge at her with their tongues out and overjoyed to see her.
 
Ethel thought balloon: “Pant and bark”? What is—
 
Panel four: Hot Dog and Vegas leap at Ethel and knock her to the ground as the plate of cookies fly in the air and Jughead happily waits for it to fall into his open hands.
 
Ethel: ACCKK
 
Panel five: In the foreground, Hot Dog and Vegas are licking Ethel’s face all over as this tickles her as she struggles to stop them while laughing her head off. In the background, Jughead is walking away while eating the last cookie as he leaves the plate and cloche on the sidewalk. In the background, a penguin with a hand glider is dropping a box of chocolates to the alligator as it waves hello to the penguin.
 
Jughead: Kiss for cookies.
 
Jughead: It’s for the dogs.
 
Ethel: Hee Hee! Stop Stop!!
 
Page 5
 
Panel one: Jughead is walking past an antique shop called Golden Oldies Retros as he has a strut in his step as he is happy he got rid of Ethel for a bit. Walking past him is Maria and Frankie and Chuck and Nancy.All of Riverdale is decorated in red and pink with red hearts hanging on poles and even a stop light with hearts shaped lights. On other shop windows are various drawings of cartoon boys and girls giving each other cards.

 
Jughead: Well, took care of Ethel, and now to get my just reward.
 
 
Panel two: Jughead walks up to Mama B’s bakery to see that a long light of teenage boys are waiting in line and out the sidewalk. Each one has a pink or red envelop in their arms. Jughead tips his hat as he’s concerned by what he sees.
 
Jughead: Curses. There goes my hope and dreams of this being a six page story. If there’s one thing I hate more than Valentine’s Day, its extra work.
 
Jughead: Well, work in general. Just effort specifically.

 
Panel three: Jughead taps the shoulder of one of the angry teens in front of him as he is scribbling on a Valentine’s Day card.
 
Jughead: Pardon.
 
Angry teen: What’d ya want, string bean?
 
Jughead: Two things: one, when did everyone come down with a sever case of sweet tooth…
 
Jughead: …and two, can I skip ahead. I already prepaid a year back and all the red and pink is making me nauseous. I’ll be in and out.
 
Panel four: The teen grabs Jughead by collar and lifts him off the ground. Jughead’s face remains stoic to everything.
 
Angry teen: We all forgot today was Valentine ’s Day and we now we need to get our sweeties’ chocolates to show how much we love them!
 
Jughead: Sounds to me you fellas forgot the wrong type of date.
 
Panel five: The angry teen to the approval of the other angry boyfriends toss Jughead right at the reader as Jughead does his best to try and flap his arms hoping it will help him fly and not be injured.
 
Angry teen: --And as for skipping ahead of us all after we’ve waited hours—
 
Angry teen: SCRAM!!!
 
Caption: EMERGENCY! Readers, duck! He’s coming right at you!!
 
Page 7
 
Panel one: Jughead falls into the arms of Moose as Jughead tips his hat to him.
 
SFX: Plop
 
Moose: Duh, Jughead I didn’t know you could fly.
 
Jughead: Anything can fly if you propel if fast enough. It’s the land that’s normally the problem. Thanks, Moose.
 
Panel two: Moose sets Jughead down as Jughead looks back with a sinister glare at the line of boyfriends just a few feet away from him.
 
Jughead: So guess you’re out getting gifts for Midge for his hallmark holiday.
 
Moose: Nah, I don’t read books. But I did get my Midgie a few Valentine ’s Day gifts last week. Only the best for Midge.
 
Jughead: Huh. Funny thing…
 
Panel three: Jughead points back at the line of teens who are all reading and comparing cards. Over the left side of the panel we can see Moose become enraged as blood vessels in his arms and fists pop out.
 
Jughead: Those guys were getting the best chocolates for Midge. I told them the lady was spoken for, but they gave me the heave ho.
 
Moose: IS. THAT. SO.
 
Panel four: Moose’s finger taps the angry teen’s shoulder as he begins to turn around, not knowing who it is.
 
Angry teen: Look, needle nose, I’m getting my girl her stupid chocolate and that’s that!!
 
Angry Teen: Wah---?
 
Panel five: Moose is towering over the angry teen and all the other teenage boys waiting in line as he looks demonic. Moose has flaming skulls in his eyes and his skin tone is a bright red as he is so enraged. Moose’s hair is standing up straight. Steam is erupting from Moose’s ears like a volcano and he is snorting flames. Behind him Moose, Jughead is pointing with a free hand at the sign he is holding that reads: You say scram, I say VAMOOSE.
 
Moose: RRAAAARRRRRRR
 
 
 
Page 8
 
Panel one: Jughead is at the counter to Mama B’s as Mama B is confused as to what happened to all her customers as she walks back behind the counter from the back. She has small specks of floor on her face and apron. Jughead has set the sign he had on the counter as play innocent.
 
Mama B: Jughead! Where did you come from?
 
Jughead: If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that, I’d have Hiram Lodge as my butler.
 
Panel two: A close-up on Jughead as he has his arms folded on the counter as he eagerly waits to get his chocolate frosted supreme sugar bomb. Mama B is trying to hold her laughter as she is reaching down behind the counter. In the background through the windows Mama B’s, Moose is still chasing after every guy who was waiting ahead of Jughead.
 
Mama B: I meant what happened to that long line, child.
 
Jughead: Well, let’s just say, Cupid’s arrow isn’t the only thing that’s going to strike them today.
 
 
Panel three: Mama B opens a large sized flat box that the reader can’t see over her shoulders but Jughead looks at it as his face twists in disgust.
 
Mama B: It doesn’t matter, and don’t fret, Mama B has an elephant’s memory. I know why you’re here.  I made you treat just how you like it and even gave it a special design for the holiday.
 
Jughead: It’s like something from my nightmares.
 
Panel four: Mama B closes the lid and pulls the box back slightly much to Jughead’s chagrin.
 
Aunt B. Well, if you don’t like it, I can just give you your money back. I’m sure someone else would appreciate—
 
Panel five: Jughead snatches the box as Aunt B chuckles to herself.
 
Jughead: I eat with my eyes closed and mouth wide open. This is not a problem!
 
Mama B: Mmm-humm.
 
 
 
Page 9
 
Panel one: Jughead looks at the box in his hand with a smile as he struggles to carry it, happy with his purchase as he walks back to his home as he is now in a suburban area of Riverdale.
 
Jughead: Not a fan of the chocolate sculpting, but I don’t understand how an unfinished statue with no arms is considered a work of art.
 
Jughead: Besides, it will be delicious. I waited a year for this. Nothing is going to ruin this for me.
 
Panel two: Jughead is turning the corner as he hears a noise that stops him in his track.
 
Ethel off panel: Sob Sob.
 
Panel three: Ethel is sitting on the sidewalk crying into her arms as Jughead looks on sympathetically. Sitting next to her is Hot Dog and Vegas. Hot Dog leans his head sympathetically towards her while Vegas licks her elbow as he tries to make her feel better.
 
Ethel: (sniff sniff) All I wanted…was to wish him a Happy Valentine’s day…!
 
Ethel: (Sob sob) And maybe just one little kiss…is just one kiss asking so much....
 
Panel four: Jughead looks down at the box as he exhales and his lips flutter his facial expression is one that says” easy come, easy go.”
 
Panel five: Jughead walks up to Ethel and taps her shoulder as Ethel turns her head up towards him.
 
Ethel: Huh?
 
Panel six: Jughead offers the box with his chocolate frosted sugar supreme bomb inside as Ethel is perplexed by Jughead’s actions and words.
 
Jughead: This is the best anyone can ever hope for.

 
Page 10
 
Panel one: Betty and Veronica are walking along the street as Betty and Veronica are each carrying several boxes of different size and shapes of candy.
 
Veronica: Bettykins, I’d have to say this was a nice year for us both.
 
Betty: And even better day for our dentist, Ronnie.
 
Panel two: Betty and Veronica are walking down the same street that Jughead had been before he saw Ethel from the last page. Veronica is rolling her eyes and smiling at Betty’s comment.
 
Betty: I say we share with our friends. Like Ethel. Poor girl spends her entire day chasing the same boy all for naught. I can’t imagine what that’s like.
 
Veronica: Sure you can’t.
 
Panel three: Betty turns to Veronica to argue as a wide eyed Veronica is pointing straight ahead.
 
Betty: I saw that! I saw you roll your eyes!
 
Veronica: Really? Good. Now look at that and tell me what I’m seeing!
 
Panel four: In the foreground, Ethel is standing up and is kissing the now revealed giant puckered lips chocolate frosted sugar bomb as she has melted chocolate covering her face and dripping down her arms as Hot Dog and Vegas happily wait for each chocolate drop to hit their extended tongues as they happily wag their tails. In the background, Betty and Veronica are in shock and let their arms down and their valentine candy falls at their feet.
 
Ethel: BEST
 
Smooch
 
Ethel: VALENTINE’S DAY
 
Smooch
 
Ethel: EVER!!
 
THE END.
 

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5

The Archie character names and likenesses are covered by the registered trademarks/copyrights of Archie Comic Publications, Inc. and are used with permission by this site. The Official Archie Comics website can be visited at www.archiecomics.com.
Live Support