I like it. The acting is really good, I'm always left wondering what is next. I like the twists and turns for the most part.

The only problems I have is not enough focus on the Archie-Veronica-Betty love triangle and I hated Ms. Grundy and Archie together. But she's gone, now, so it's looking it's looking up. And I think a more accurate and used Reggie would have made this show better.

But it's still a very good show.

Liked this episode way better than last week's. Mainly because it got rid of Grundy, at least for a little bit. And that's good for Archie because now he can associate with the best parts of the show: Betty and Veronica.

And...never thought I would say this, but thank you Alice Cooper. And I do like that the show is at least showing she has valid points: Archie sneaking out, The Lodges ARE criminals.

But yeah, Grundy got off easy. And I did like the end, showing she's probably not all that innocent (looking for another teenage boy in another town)

Mayor Josie's Mom Making Riverdale Great Again!

Riverdale has a gang? Lead by Jughead's dad? And Jughead is homeless. No wonder he's so surly.

I'm glad that it was some drive-thru that got closed down...I thought it was going to be Pop's again. I'm just used to it after all these years.

 Page 1

Panel one: Jughead is lying in a heap in his bed as his stomach is grumbling. Jughead has half the cover on him so we can see his shorts and feet. One of Jughead's socks has slipped off his foot. Jughead has his left arm over his eyes as he tries to ignore his stomach. Jughead's bed and room have various food wrappers and pizza boxes lying on the ground. On his door is a dart board of hate with Trula's picture on it with five darts on her smirking lips. Lying in a pile are various Derby Dalton comics. On a nearby counter is a picture of The Archies with a slice of pizza lying over it. We can see that he's mark over Reggie's face to give him a mustache and missing teeth.

Jughead's stomach: Forsythe Jones the 3^rd, rise. We must venture forth early this Valentine's Day morn.

Jughead: No...Valentine's Day bad...hibernation good...

Panel two: Jughead's eyes pop open as his stomach continue to growl.

Jughead's stomach: Have you forgotten the layaway from a year past, my indolent host?

Panel three: Jughead leaps out of bed in pure excitement.

Jughead: The giant chocolate frosted sugar supreme bomb of Mama B's!!

Jughead: She only makes it once a year and they sell like hot cakes! I paid her a year in advance to make sure I got the biggest, bestest one!

Jughead's stomach: Yes, YES!  Now, I will wait patiently. Digesting gum to bide the time.

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead is at his front door as he begins to reach for the door knob as he licks his lips.

Jughead: One bite of that delectable sweet will make this entire rotten lovey dovey pish posh fricka frack I'll have to trudge through worth it!

Panel two: Jughead opens the door as Ethel is dressed up in a heart costume with a banner reading: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. She has her lips puckered for a kiss as Jughead looks blankly at her.

Ethel: Do you know what today is, Juggie?

Panel three: Jughead just slams the door in her face nonchalantly.

Jughead: International Door Slamming Day.

SFX: SLAM

Panel four: Jughead is walking away from the door as Ethel is knocking on the door.

Ethel outside: Hear that? That's my heart beating for you!

Jughead: Thought it was the theme to JAWS.

Panel five: Outside Ethel is kicking and punching at the door as Jughead is sneaking out a side window of the house.

SFX: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Ethel: Jughead!! Come out!! It's the day of love!!

SFX: KICK KICK

Ethel: LOVE!

Page 3

Panel one: Ethel turns around to see Jughead running away into the distance.

Ethel: Sigh. He's so adorable when he plays hard to get.

Panel two: A close up on Ethel as she winks at the reader.

Ethel: But this year, Ethel Muggs came prepared.

Panel three: Jughead is looking back with a smile as he takes long strides down a sidewalk.

Jughead: Well, that's that for Ethel.

Panel four: Jughead is shocked to see Ethel, now dressed in regular clothes right behind him, holding a plate with a cloche over it. Jughead stops in mid stride as he looks on in disbelief that Ethel somehow got ahead of him.

Ethel: Juggie! Fancy running into you!

Caption: Wait, What?

Panel five: Jughead is talking to a caption box as Ethel is frozen in place. The caption box is right at Jughead's face ast they talk.

Jughead: Something wrong?

Caption: No. It's just.... Um...I get your stomach talking to you, but how did she get ahead of you?

Panel six: Jughead slightly shrugs his shoulders at the caption box as the caption box tilts as if trying to sneak off the panel.

Jughead: You understand how my stomach has gained independent sentience...? You're loony.

Caption: ...I'm just going to say out of the way for the rest of the story unless there's an emergency...


Page 4

Panel one: Over the shoulders of Ethel as Ethel begins to lift the cloche as Jughead turns his head.

Ethel: So how about the juggie love ship deck Ethel bay with a kissie wissie?

Jughead: The S.S. Jughead has set shore and laid anchor at Never Going To Happen Land.

Panel two: Ethel has the cloche up to reveal a pile of delicious chocolate cookies with the chocolate bits shaped like harts. The aroma goes into his nostrils as he is overtaken. Jughead is reaching out with both hands for the cookies as he has his tongue hanging down his chin.

Jughead: Raise anchor! Set the sails!

Panel three: Ethel slams the lid back down as Jughead bangs his fingers against the cloche as he winces in pain as pain stars surround his hands.

Ethel: No so fast!

Panel four: Ethel holds out her head and puckers her lips for Jughead to kiss. Jughead is blowing into his pain riddled finger as he tries to blow away the pain stars over each digit. A jogger confused jogger looks on at Jughead not noticing an open manhole.

Ethel: If you want cookies in stomach I want lips on lips. A kiss for a cookie. Sugar for sugar.

Panel five: Jughead takes a step back off-panel as Ethel closes her eyes and can barely contain herself as she thinks she's finally going to get all the kisses she wants. The man is leaping out of the manhole as an alligator sticks it's head out to bite at him.

Jughead: Fine. Just give me a few seconds.

Ethel: Tee-hee.

Page 5

Panel one: The entire panel is black with only Ethel's thought balloon.

Ethel thought balloon: It's finally happening!

Panel two: Pure black as the first panel save for the thought balloon.

Ethel thinking: And Jughead is so happy! Listen to him pant and bark.

Panel three: The panel is pure black save for the middle to show Ethel is opening her eyes to see Hot Dog and Vegas charge at her with their tongues out and overjoyed to see her.

Ethel thought balloon: "Pant and bark"? What is—

Panel four: Hot Dog and Vegas leap at Ethel and knock her to the ground as the plate of cookies fly in the air and Jughead happily waits for it to fall into his open hands.

Ethel: ACCKK

Panel five: In the foreground, Hot Dog and Vegas are licking Ethel's face all over as this tickles her as she struggles to stop them while laughing her head off. In the background, Jughead is walking away while eating the last cookie as he leaves the plate and cloche on the sidewalk. In the background, a penguin with a hand glider is dropping a box of chocolates to the alligator as it waves hello to the penguin.

Jughead: Kiss for cookies.

Jughead: It's for the dogs.

Ethel: Hee Hee! Stop Stop!!

Page 5

Panel one: Jughead is walking past an antique shop called Golden Oldies Retros as he has a strut in his step as he is happy he got rid of Ethel for a bit. Walking past him is Maria and Frankie and Chuck and Nancy.All of Riverdale is decorated in red and pink with red hearts hanging on poles and even a stop light with hearts shaped lights. On other shop windows are various drawings of cartoon boys and girls giving each other cards.


Jughead: Well, took care of Ethel, and now to get my just reward.


Panel two: Jughead walks up to Mama B's bakery to see that a long light of teenage boys are waiting in line and out the sidewalk. Each one has a pink or red envelop in their arms. Jughead tips his hat as he's concerned by what he sees.

Jughead: Curses. There goes my hope and dreams of this being a six page story. If there's one thing I hate more than Valentine's Day, its extra work.

Jughead: Well, work in general. Just effort specifically.


Panel three: Jughead taps the shoulder of one of the angry teens in front of him as he is scribbling on a Valentine's Day card.

Jughead: Pardon.

Angry teen: What'd ya want, string bean?

Jughead: Two things: one, when did everyone come down with a sever case of sweet tooth...

Jughead: ...and two, can I skip ahead. I already prepaid a year back and all the red and pink is making me nauseous. I'll be in and out.

Panel four: The teen grabs Jughead by collar and lifts him off the ground. Jughead's face remains stoic to everything.

Angry teen: We all forgot today was Valentine 's Day and we now we need to get our sweeties' chocolates to show how much we love them!

Jughead: Sounds to me you fellas forgot the wrong type of date.

Panel five: The angry teen to the approval of the other angry boyfriends toss Jughead right at the reader as Jughead does his best to try and flap his arms hoping it will help him fly and not be injured.

Angry teen: --And as for skipping ahead of us all after we've waited hours—

Angry teen: SCRAM!!!

Caption: EMERGENCY! Readers, duck! He's coming right at you!!

Page 7

Panel one: Jughead falls into the arms of Moose as Jughead tips his hat to him.

SFX: Plop

Moose: Duh, Jughead I didn't know you could fly.

Jughead: Anything can fly if you propel if fast enough. It's the land that's normally the problem. Thanks, Moose.

Panel two: Moose sets Jughead down as Jughead looks back with a sinister glare at the line of boyfriends just a few feet away from him.

Jughead: So guess you're out getting gifts for Midge for his hallmark holiday.

Moose: Nah, I don't read books. But I did get my Midgie a few Valentine 's Day gifts last week. Only the best for Midge.

Jughead: Huh. Funny thing...

Panel three: Jughead points back at the line of teens who are all reading and comparing cards. Over the left side of the panel we can see Moose become enraged as blood vessels in his arms and fists pop out.

Jughead: Those guys were getting the best chocolates for Midge. I told them the lady was spoken for, but they gave me the heave ho.

Moose: IS. THAT. SO.

Panel four: Moose's finger taps the angry teen's shoulder as he begins to turn around, not knowing who it is.

Angry teen: Look, needle nose, I'm getting my girl her stupid chocolate and that's that!!

Angry Teen: Wah---?

Panel five: Moose is towering over the angry teen and all the other teenage boys waiting in line as he looks demonic. Moose has flaming skulls in his eyes and his skin tone is a bright red as he is so enraged. Moose's hair is standing up straight. Steam is erupting from Moose's ears like a volcano and he is snorting flames. Behind him Moose, Jughead is pointing with a free hand at the sign he is holding that reads: You say scram, I say VAMOOSE.

Moose: RRAAAARRRRRRR



Page 8

Panel one: Jughead is at the counter to Mama B's as Mama B is confused as to what happened to all her customers as she walks back behind the counter from the back. She has small specks of floor on her face and apron. Jughead has set the sign he had on the counter as play innocent.

Mama B: Jughead! Where did you come from?

Jughead: If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that, I'd have Hiram Lodge as my butler.

Panel two: A close-up on Jughead as he has his arms folded on the counter as he eagerly waits to get his chocolate frosted supreme sugar bomb. Mama B is trying to hold her laughter as she is reaching down behind the counter. In the background through the windows Mama B's, Moose is still chasing after every guy who was waiting ahead of Jughead.

Mama B: I meant what happened to that long line, child.

Jughead: Well, let's just say, Cupid's arrow isn't the only thing that's going to strike them today.


Panel three: Mama B opens a large sized flat box that the reader can't see over her shoulders but Jughead looks at it as his face twists in disgust.

Mama B: It doesn't matter, and don't fret, Mama B has an elephant's memory. I know why you're here.  I made you treat just how you like it and even gave it a special design for the holiday.

Jughead: It's like something from my nightmares.

Panel four: Mama B closes the lid and pulls the box back slightly much to Jughead's chagrin.

Aunt B. Well, if you don't like it, I can just give you your money back. I'm sure someone else would appreciate—

Panel five: Jughead snatches the box as Aunt B chuckles to herself.

Jughead: I eat with my eyes closed and mouth wide open. This is not a problem!

Mama B: Mmm-humm.



Page 9

Panel one: Jughead looks at the box in his hand with a smile as he struggles to carry it, happy with his purchase as he walks back to his home as he is now in a suburban area of Riverdale.

Jughead: Not a fan of the chocolate sculpting, but I don't understand how an unfinished statue with no arms is considered a work of art.

Jughead: Besides, it will be delicious. I waited a year for this. Nothing is going to ruin this for me.

Panel two: Jughead is turning the corner as he hears a noise that stops him in his track.

Ethel off panel: Sob Sob.

Panel three: Ethel is sitting on the sidewalk crying into her arms as Jughead looks on sympathetically. Sitting next to her is Hot Dog and Vegas. Hot Dog leans his head sympathetically towards her while Vegas licks her elbow as he tries to make her feel better.

Ethel: (sniff sniff) All I wanted...was to wish him a Happy Valentine's day...!

Ethel: (Sob sob) And maybe just one little kiss...is just one kiss asking so much....

Panel four: Jughead looks down at the box as he exhales and his lips flutter his facial expression is one that says" easy come, easy go."

Panel five: Jughead walks up to Ethel and taps her shoulder as Ethel turns her head up towards him.

Ethel: Huh?

Panel six: Jughead offers the box with his chocolate frosted sugar supreme bomb inside as Ethel is perplexed by Jughead's actions and words.

Jughead: This is the best anyone can ever hope for.


Page 10

Panel one: Betty and Veronica are walking along the street as Betty and Veronica are each carrying several boxes of different size and shapes of candy.

Veronica: Bettykins, I'd have to say this was a nice year for us both.

Betty: And even better day for our dentist, Ronnie.

Panel two: Betty and Veronica are walking down the same street that Jughead had been before he saw Ethel from the last page. Veronica is rolling her eyes and smiling at Betty's comment.

Betty: I say we share with our friends. Like Ethel. Poor girl spends her entire day chasing the same boy all for naught. I can't imagine what that's like.

Veronica: Sure you can't.

Panel three: Betty turns to Veronica to argue as a wide eyed Veronica is pointing straight ahead.

Betty: I saw that! I saw you roll your eyes!

Veronica: Really? Good. Now look at that and tell me what I'm seeing!

Panel four: In the foreground, Ethel is standing up and is kissing the now revealed giant puckered lips chocolate frosted sugar bomb as she has melted chocolate covering her face and dripping down her arms as Hot Dog and Vegas happily wait for each chocolate drop to hit their extended tongues as they happily wag their tails. In the background, Betty and Veronica are in shock and let their arms down and their valentine candy falls at their feet.

Ethel: BEST

Smooch

Ethel: VALENTINE'S DAY

Smooch

Ethel: EVER!!

THE END.

If Sonic does get canceled. It could go to IDW and continue from where they left off, couldn't they?

And it's not like this is the first time I've heard Archie Comics might be going under. Buncha fake news everywhere.

Yeah, if Veronica and Betty wanted to play dress up, they could have stayed in Riverdale...and had more people involved.


Issue 275



Well "Betty" and "Veronica" are in India and trying to live as the other, will they succeed and what will they gain. Meanwhile, Banni and Violette are in Riverdale to mixed results. Where will this lead.

The Good.

The writing. Wow. This is easily the best issue. The pacing is good, the focus is much better. Yeah, there's some bad, but this best Michael Uslan had done. He's pretty much understood who Betty and Veronica is and now we have a story that executes that well. They both actually do open up their horizons and successfully battle temptation and are rewarded with new experiences. And as the girls learn, so do the readers. This was missing when they were in Britain. Also you have actually moments of friendship with Kevin, Jughead, and Ethel. I mean, there's stuff that makes me go" Wuh" But hey, I enjoyed most of the issue.

Archie being Archie. I like the two pages of him walking ...puppy versions of his friends dogs? Anyway, I liked seeing him clumsy and just hyper active. Way better than him being a total nimrod every page. I mean, he goes back to being a total nimrod right away, but it's nice to have something like this.

Violette and Banni. I like them. Violette was actually pretty funny and I do feel sorry for her that the other girls don't like her because of how they perceive her. Banni's smart and sensible. I really like these characters and actually want to read more about them.

The art. And this is probably Dan Parent's best art of the storyline. I like the design of Banni and Violette. We get to see him drawn some of India and it looks pretty good. Even the times when you have small figures aren't drawn as bad. I guess months and months of delayed were beneficially, huh? I mean, there are parts that I don't like, like how Hot Dog and the other dogs Archie was walking looked like pups. But I'm so happy I'm willing to let it slide except for this...

This line by Ethel: "They ignored me too, at first, 'cause I didn't look like them. C'mon, that's funny

B&V meet B&V: Normally I ignore going into detail or just not mention reprints because..eh, reprints, y'know, but this time I'll make an exception. A story written by Fernando Ruiz with art by Jeff Shultz. Well, this puts the main story to shame. Betty and Veronica meet their 40s counterparts in what has to be the best scripted Ruiz story I've read. I mean, I've always been happy with his scripts, but this is great. And the art by Shultz making Betty and Veronica look different (unlike someone) and adapting his style to the super old timey Archie was really well done. Funny moments with Old school Veronica commenting on...well, I guess Middle School Veronica's clothing and the reason the girls decide to head home is funny. My only complaint is that I wish it had been in any of the previous issues. Y'know when I needed hope to continue.

The Bad:

Archie and Reggie. It's sad that the best issue of this storyline I've read has Wingus and Dingus at their supreme idiocy. Let me demonstrate.

Reggie/Wingus: Do teens even date in India?

No. That's why India has the smallest population in the world.

Archie/Dingus: Does she understand English?

Well, when Violette and Banni got off the plane, Banni was the only one speaking English to you...

The jokes: Yeah, they're just not funny. I mean, Mr. Weatherbee actually made me cringe. I mean, I liked the issue, but I didn't get a single laugh out of this issue. And we the usual portion that probably needed to be proof read. And Dilton really deserved an entire splash page?


Midge: Okay, how would she know Violette's dark secret? That's out of left field. And she's been coming across as a real jerk for a good portion of the storyline. And what was up with her hair this issue?


Although I do have to admire Archie's dedication to stupidity. I mean, even he knows he's an idiot for trying to fly to visit Betty and Veronica, but he's going to do it anyway. I can respect it. Dislike it heavily, but respect it.


Ginger's missing!: What could have happened to—wait, Violette. You didn't have that mole last issue. Midge was right all along about you!

Miss Grundy: She was normal. I guess if boring old Miss Grundy is the price we pay for a good issue.

What I learned from reading:

1.   Banni only dates boys with functioning brain cells.
2.   Veronica knows how to avoid being in a Liam Neeson action thriller.
3.   Violette is rich and snobby because she likes clothes and dancing—unlike American girls.
4.   Midge knows all the dark secrets.
5.   Kevin Keller takes French 101
6.   Poor people don't get to eat curry.
7.   Ethel was not part of The Clonus Project on The Island.
8.   Mr. Weatherbee's bad jokes is what really drove Miss Grundy insane.
9.   Midge is having a bad hair day.
10.   Never cross Memory Lane unless you have a rope to teeter you to your own reality/dimension/timeline.

Wow. A good issue! A perfect issue? No, but a good one! And we got a great back up story! I don't care if it was reprinted elsewhere! It was amazing. Anyway, we had a big step up from last issue in writing and art, Whitmore probably had his best colors because he had more to work with. I'm going to give this issue a B.

Well, to be fair, that is another universe's version of the gang.

But yeah, the next story arc should be Veronica trying to win Betty's friendship back because no way should Betty forgive. I mean, I can get helping your dad--but she went out of her way to rub every sneaking thing she did to stop Betty right in her face and was as smug as possible every time they talked.

Well, it's Hughes and Archie Comics schedule. So it's going to be awhile before the next issue comes out. Still think it will come out before the next Afterlife though.

Issue 274

Okay, we took two steps back last issue, but now we're going to England! Take in the sights and—oh. We're not doing that? ...

Betty and Veronica have landed in England and things are still the same: Betty is studious and refuses to take chances while Veronica is adventurous and failing in her grades. What to do? Why take up the other's identity and impersonate as one another. And what about the foreign exchange students replacing our gal pals are here? How will they change Riverdale? Or will Riverdale change them?

The Good:

The more things change the more they stay the same: Interestingly Betty and Veronica, even after leaving Riverdale, are pretty much stuck in the same routine they were in before: Betty being studious and not taking risks while Veronica is too busy partying and failing the courses. So again, there are good ideas here. The idea being it's not Riverdale, it's them that is the problem.

A little something about England. We do get some accents and words like "Quque" for "line" Y'know for a page or two. Take what you can get, people.



Turning a weakness into a strength?: Well, I've complained about how all the gals in Riverdale High look the same and you could just change the hair and clothes—and we are officially doing that as Betty and Veronica are switching places; impersonating the other so they can be the other. I'm going to be nice and say things won't get too confusing.

More on the art. There are pages that are really good. I really like the art and coloring on page nine with the plane taking off and Riverdale looking on before somberly leaving. Betty and Veronica look nice. And again the fashion is good. Got the steering wheel on the right side of the British car. The Lodges and The Coopers look good.

Violette and Banni: Well, they just got here and haven't done anything stupid. So that deserves some praise. And which princess does Banni look like? Jasmine? I don't know how Miss. Grundy's mind works. Oh and speak of the devil...

Uslan's Grundy: I know I don't approve of most of what Uslan's written, but I have to say I really love his Miss Grundy: A crazy "Walking Dead" obsessed, door slamming, stalker. Sadly, she doesn't slam a door for no real reason, but she does make up for it by convincing everyone to go greet the foreign exchange students at the airport...during school hours. Why? Probably because it's raining and they'll get wet and get pneumonia. Not to mention getting the kids expelled. I mean, just read her talk to the students. She's thinking Betty and Veronica will have students and contradicts herself. Uslan's Grundy is a psychopath and...honestly my favorite interpretation of the character.

(But seriously...didn't any proof read that or just read it aloud?!)

Ginger Lopez: She's the anti Toni Topaz. While Toni Topaz was on all the covers and not even in the stories; Ginger is in the issue and contributes nothing to the story in any way. But knowing she'll always be here for me brings me comfort as I delve into this storyline.

The Bad

So I just wasted my time? Remember issue 272? The very first part? Yeah, apparently I didn't need to because it's not important. At all. You can skip that entire issue and not miss anything. Want further proof? Remember how Cheryl and Midge gave each other black eyes? Nope. They're just fine here. I'd hate for an editor or just anyone producing this comic to give half a flip.

The pacing: It's horrible. Remember that last issue cliffhanger? Well, Mr. Lodge decides to just pay for Betty to go on the fair exchange. First page, two panels. Midge and the girls plan on talking Betty and Veronica out of going. And...they don't. We waste an entire page with that and nothing comes of it. Oh, and if you thought you were going to see or learn about England: WRONG. One of the best examples of the horrible pacing is Betty visiting a museum and well let me sum it up.

Panel one: shot of the only panel showing any of London's landmarks.
Panel two: car ride to museum.
Panel three: going towards the steps of the museum
Panel four: hey beetle music display (don't even see the stupid pages)
Panel five: They leave.

So we hardly get to know the exchange parents, the school, or the new location. Shame there wasn't page space. Maybe we could have if, I dunno—AN ENTIRE ISSUE WAS WASTED!!!

Cramming: Yep. The girls are going 'round the world. You'd think that would be enough but, nope. Betty is Veronica, Veronica is Betty. Seriously, girls, Dan Parent is doing the art. You could have stayed in Riverdale and had more disguise options. Call me crazy, but why not just have Betty act more like Veronica, and Veronica more like Betty without the taking over each others life? I remember the South Park Creators talking about one episode they did wrong because they put a hat on a hat on a hat until you can't even see the head anymore. This what this storyline is doing. There is a good idea about appreciating your home, seeing the world, challenging yourself, but the execution and writing just stinks. I wouldn't mind it as much as they are really going to have to cram stuff in to get to all the countries, return home, and also apparently still cover Archie and gang with the new girls. That's a lot.

The art. Yeah we have a few problems. Like Mr. Marmion (Betty's foreign exchange family's father) He's shown as fat and then there's a panel where Betty is studying where he suddenly lost a good 150 pounds. When Betty and Veronica are in front of their new classmates at Cornwall School, um, Betty is missing a certain body part that there are two of. And also a finger. No wonder Veronica gets all the dates! Also when Jughead's at the airport what I see and what he says doesn't match up. And I don't like where that darn stutter means! A few other panels where the word balloon says one thing while the art looks another direction.


Midge: She's too lazy to try and keep her friends from leaving and a jerk to people she hasn't even met yet! What does Moose see in her?

Archie and Reggie: Yeah. They're idiots. I think I might just rename them Bulk and Skull next review.

Riverdale needs a talk: Look, I get that you love Betty and Veronica. Even to the point that you're top hub names food after them. But Riverdale, they left you. They ended the relationship. They don't feel the same about you that they once did. They changed; people do that. What you're doing—it's not healthy. I'm sorry...but they don't love you anymore and you need to accept it and move on.

What I learned.

1.   Betty really does have dark roots.
2.   Friends are easy to forget when replaced with equally or more attractive people.
3.   Everyone who has a friend can do their own modern day "Prince and the Pauper" story!
4.   Its okay to leave class whenever.
5.   Ms. Grundy is not only a fan of The Walking Dead...but Disney movies.
6.   Ginger's more of a thinker than a talker.
7.   The Marmions are horrible parents. How can young Tessa not have heard a Beatles song!?
8.   Veronica grading in school as this storyline is with me.
9.   People who study don't get dates.
10.   People who enjoy life don't get a proper education.

Half way there. Sure I reviewed an issue that wasn't needed and went backwards chronology and didn't get enjoy England but...okay, I'm going to be honest. The writing isn't good, the art wasn't up to par for this issue to make up the difference. D-

Issue 273

When we last left off, Betty and Veronica were on a plane, leaving Riverdale—So we're still in Riverdale? Is time broken?

Anyway, Betty and Veronica are bored of their every day lives in Riverdale, but salvation comes in a student exchange, a year round rotating trip around the world. But only one can go. Who will win? And will the next issue start the day before this issue? I can at least answer one of those questions now.

The Good.

The art: I like the art much better in this one. Betty and Veronica are well designed and have great fashion, which is a strong suit that Dan Parents owns the other old timey Archie artists on. And as much as I harp on his female characters being cut outs, at least the male characters are given distinct looks. I mean we still have panels where Archie looks narfy and some guy awarding the exchange award can't decide on his facial hair. But for the most part I have few complaints this go around. Heck, even got a few funny background stuff that Dan Parent normally doesn't do. (Ruiz and Lindsey have spoiled me.)

The writing: Well, for the most part Veronica, and to a lesser extent, Betty are written well. Veronica is best in character as she isn't evil, just oblivious to what her words make others feel and the ramifications of her actions. And I can at least understand being bored fitting her temperament. Betty for most of the middle of the issues is on point. She's kind, a bit more reserved, and eases up on the whining. And the idea of them on a year long exchange is a good idea. It's the execution that is not going so well.

"I'd like to study abroad too": Hey it made me laugh and if I remember what everyone said, this will be one of the last times Archie or Reggie are clever in anyway.

Ginger Lopez. Obviously, she got wind of Betty and Veronica's poor attiude in this issue and didn't bother showing up. Good for her!  And speaking of--

The bad.

Well, good riddance, you brats: The comic begins with Betty and Veronica bored with Riverdale and going around town showing yelling how bored they are. From the school to their homes they act like selfish brats. And how can you be bored in Riverdale High, in the gymnasium, you have basketball, football, and cheerleading going on at the same time. They even go take the time to insult Archie and Reggie. This entire town threw—er, I mean, will throw you a going away party and you insult them?!

But seriously, you don't get a good idea on how bored their lives are. You get that they're bored with Archie and Reggie well, but the entire town. You're told and not shown.  Also it doesn't help that the few background crazy stuff happens during their little "Riverdale High is boring" ranting

How is Veronica the bad guy?:  Okay in the end, guy with the changing mustache and beard, awards the exchange trip to Veronica and Betty and her parents are sad and cry foul will the Lodges looked disappointed in Veronica. Me...WHY? Betty was underhanded first!

Look, I'm a strong believer in the Bugs Bunny "You start something with me, I'm allowed to retaliate 1,000x worse over and over." Betty went to the boys of Riverdale and got them to vote for her by telling them that Veronica will leave and they won't see her for a year. Sorry but you lose all sympathy from me. Also you want to know what Veronica's other heinous acts were: writing checks to charities and paying for a team to look over her essay. Okay, she doesn't do any of the hard work at the food shelter—but she did put it and the salvation army in a better place. And that's me ignoring that Veronica has done charitable work in other comic stories! (Why research when you can make up stuff? Study at the Michael Bendis School of Storytellling) And she even wrote her essay; she just paid people to look it over and tell her what was wrong with it. And honestly I think she wasted her money because she was up against: "My name is Betty. I am a Betty who enjoys volunteering and giving back to my community." You'd have to be an idiot to lose to that! Speaking of idiots...

Archie and Reggie are stupid. I mean, yeah, they were never scholars but I doubt their cognitive thinking skills with their essays. Archie and Reggie are easily manipulated by Betty. And I've heard they get dumber and dumber each issue. Eep.

Miss. Grundy. What is up with those old woman?! First she is stalking Betty and Veronica and decides to reward them insulting their classmate and school is...let one of them go on a world exchange. What about Dilton? I mean, he only gets the best grades in the school. But he's content in life, so that wouldn't make sense. And she actually marches Betty and Veronica into Mr. Weatherbee's office like they committed a crime. And the repeated door slamming. That's damaging the wood work and warping the hinges. But mostly rude!

"What makes someone a Betty or a Veronica." Google it, you lazy issue! It's even a trope!

What I learned from what I read.

1.   Miss Grundy stalks Betty and Veronica in between watching episodes of "The Walking Dead" on her DVR.
2.   If you whine and act like jerks, not care about what you say offending people, you get the answer to your problem handed to you.
3.   With jokes like "Don't be a chicken, Coop" I now understand why Mr. Cooper never got comic time
4.   An all expense paid trip to five different countries to study abroad (heh)...and only four people try out for it. And two are brain dead morons.
5.   Writing massive checks to charities and having people look over her work—Veronica is the worse!!
6.   The male student population heavily favors Veronica over Betty.
7.   There are two people in Riverdale whose lives do not revolve Betty and Veronica.
8.   A Chinese Restaurant next to an Italian restaurant...with a boutique across the street!? Riverdale is awesome!
9.   Betty does not approve of having to wait fifteen whole minutes for dinner.
10.   An issue cannot end on a cliffhanger when the previous issue fast forward ahead so we already know what happens!!!


Like I said, the idea is good of the girls going to a year long foreign exchange project to five different countries--but we're two issues in...and we went backwards somehow!! I don't get what the heck the logic was in showing them leave last issue and going back. Why do that last issue at all?! And the writing is pretty bad. We got a few moments but for a good portion Betty and Veronica are unlikeable to the point you don't see why they're being rewarded for being snots. And Veronica is being unfair how? Betty isn't? She was underhanded first! Y'know how to fix that problem have Veronica buy out the charity as the first thing. Then have Betty see it and respond with the boys. Just simple sequencing. That would solve a major problem I have with this story.

So yeah, Uslan is not impressing me. At all. And I'm so disappointed. The main crafted the wonderful tales of Dinosaucers.

But the art is better than last issue. The only thing that really stood out to me is page five the panel with Archie that...looks like the word balloon should just say: DERRRRRRR. The lettering by Jack Morelli is nice and Glen Whitmore slamming the colors. But the writing is really bad. But at least about ten pages weren't wasted for nothing. I guess going backwards chronology is better than that.

Grade: C-

Another issue reviewed and next issue...um, let me check something...yeah, yeah. We're going places next issue. About time because we got four issues and five places to do everything in!

I'm thinking Betty's going to snap and start smashing stuff. She did dig her fingernails into her palms when Cheryl was trying to get her angry when she was talking about her sister.

And yeah, Veronica's actress was the best.

Oh trust me, Dan Parent is one of the last people I blame for this storyline after I finished it. And it's not like every issue gets a bad grade. And if it makes you feel better, I'm reading and reviewing the issues of Kevin Keller I got and I really like the art in it so far.


And I have a much bigger problem with this issue after I read issue 273 that I'll go into detail then.

I thought it was pretty good. The acting's pretty good, I like what they're doing with the main three (Veronica trying to be good, Betty trying to be perfect for everyone, and Archie trying to do right for everyone). And I like they kept music with Archie.

Betty Cooper's mom is creepy.

Josie and the Pussycats are jerks. Sheesh.

The only things I hate:

No Midge. Darn it, I wanted to see Moose beat people up! Now I'm going to have to wait until Betty finally snaps.

Show don't tell. We didn't see Archie do anything to show he's good at football and we only got the very end of the cheerleading and....I gotta be honest, with what little bit I saw, I wouldn't have Betty on the team either.

The Grundy/Archie subplot. Ugh. I know you had to get Archie at the lake to be connected to the mystery--but it really gave a blow to the character.

Kevin Keller having a little too much Jack from Will and Grace in him. Few times, I wanted to tell him to be quiet, but I still liked him overall.

Other thoughts.

Luke Perry is a good dad.

Cheryl Blossom was awesome as the alpha ....witch.

Jughead, well, he narrated and didn't do much...and yet I wish he was more of a main character than Archie. And I like his hat.

Sheesh. Archie's got muscles, he's not John Cena! Calm down!

I think it was a pretty good pilot. And I like the mystery at the end. Who shot Jason? Who gets arrested next episode. The only thing I really hate is the Ms. Grundy stuff. Heck, I'd rather it have been Reggie and he threatened to tell everyone what she did if she didn't give him good grades. But I guess Reggie is stuck with dumb jock friend if going by the pilot.

Finally watched it. It was good. I'd give it a B.

That's just how it is. Everyone has different tastes, expectations, and views. Heck, I think I'm the only one one liked both Cars movies and glad there's a third one coming out. I even have a friend who is a big Rob Liefield fan who absolutely hates everything Mark Bagely has done. I don't get it, but I just accept it as different strokes for different folks.

All I can do is give my thoughts, examples and maybe make a few jokes for laughs. And if you agree or not, it's still your choice what you purchase.

Gee, wish I had gotten that 64 mega crayola set so I can learn all these colors.
Next time I get called a brunette I'm going to go "naw, it's blackish brown or burnt brown.)

And yeah, I agree that Boldman can do a good five page Trula story and it would be very difficult for what we have left to do one.