PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 2.1
First off thank you to all veterans for all you have done for us.
Well, finally saw the Batman anime. It's okay. I don't think it's the greatest thing ever like everyone is letting on, but it's fun to watch if you turn off your brain off( (like Batman during the movie) and just have fun.

And it sounds a lot better than the Solo movie. I had a friend go see it and to quote him, "I want to punch Opie in the face!"

I think I should end all bad reviews like that.

But I'm not here to talk about an anime or a really angry Star Wars fanboy., so let's get started with the review.


Anyway, last we left off a nerdy 13 year old loser and his least favorite hero switched bodies. Luckily with Blue Baron's advice, Ernie was able to save the day after nearly blowing it. But it's a new issue, new challenges—let's review Blue Baron!!!


The Good

Ernie is a snot. So what do you get when a teenager suddenly becomes rich, can boss people around, and do whatever he wants when he wants—a little prick. And that's what Ernie is for the majority of the issue. He's letting Cedric Corp go while he just spends his time eating nachos and playing video games. When he's confronted with a chore he runs out or is just rude. And he dresses like a tool. And that's pretty much how it should be. And it is fun watching people react to their boss or friend like he's having a mid-life crisis...or he's just lost it. And we get some fun moments with "Stranger Danger" and him deciding to drive.

And Blue Baron is shown to be adjusting well. I like his wardrobe being like Bruce Wayne's and him rousing the troops to do something about Slater and his bullying way. And right now, he's the only adult guiding Ernie's life in anyway and the only person in the issue he shows respect to; like when he teaches Ernie how to shave. And I like the little internal war he's developing with Ernie's family as he hates Wanda and fears Rosa.

The Writing. So yeah the writing is fun. And humor is still great. Control Freak making Blue Ernie look like an idiot was a riot. Especially the hot coffee and the kids watching the hero fight but really wanting to play jump rope when it's over. I love Blue Baron's reaction Ernie's celebration as he's watching his respectability go down the drain. Ernie Baron's rousing speech to the geeks was great. And Ernie being a total brat was great. We get more information on Bishop and meet Rossi. And the issue ends on a great cliffhanger.


The Villains. Hey, we're building us a rogue gallery. This issue is Control Freak who can possess a body part of a person and is shown to be effect with it with how he holds up the bank and has Blue Ernie on the ropes the majority of their conflict. And it's nice seeing a villain in a loving relationship with another guy.

Then there is Blowback who is nuclear powered and can repel anything that comes his way. We don't know much about him but what we do know is good. He's not motivated by money—just revenge. He hates Cedric Carson and is vandalizing any facility that uses his security system just to bankrupt one of his divisions.

The art. Yeah, Ron Frenz kills it again this issue. I really like all the facial reactions the characters have reacting to Blue Ernie. I love the crazy eyed Blue Ernie on TV celebrating like a tool. I think my favorite pages might be Ernie driving and all the different angles and layout. Specially the second panel sums up everyone involved. Again I like the design for the villains and I really like looking at the background and all the different types of people.

The coloring, inking, and lettering is great. Love the word balloon shaped around Blue Ernie screaming while hot coffee is poured on him. And the coloring and inking two places stand out. The shading and diabolic look Ernie gets when he gets the idea to drive and the very last page with green light and the shading is superb.



The Bad

Maybe Blue Baron could use more panel time. So far it's been more focused on Ernie as Blue Baron, and that makes sense since this is a hero book, but I would like to see more of Blue Baron adjusting to Ernie's life. I mean, I still don't know Ernie's dad's name, what his parents do for an occupation. And Rosa's a monster but we're not shown why. So in turn  you have a portion of the supporting staff not getting much development as the other. Plus Wanda was not in this issue and I didn't get to make a Spider-Girl/Mayday joke this review. That is not acceptable.







What I learned from what I read.

Ernie's little sister name is Rosa.

• Harold not only doesn't get a French vacation but his boyfriend is in jail. That's sad.
• It's always Jump Rope Time.
• Speaking off...that's one mighty strong jump rope.
• Blue Baron might be a bit of a player.
• REVENGE OF THE NERDS: HERO EDITION. It's happening.
• Carson Corp needs to work on their contracts. I mean, yeah, paying in full for failure in security is nice—but that'll bankrupt you. Need to find that fine line between Tony Stark and Lex Luthor.
• I think Rossi was born on Yancy Street.
• It's nice to know some villains don't do it for the money. Sometimes it's about love and pure, unadulterated hatred.
• I would follow Ernie Baron into battle.

 
Overall. Yeah, it's great issue. Everything's great. I only really have the slightest of nitpicks and even then it's not so bad because of the rest of the supporting cast and Ernie's situation is more fun and relevant to the plot of the issue. It's an A.

 PTF Reviews The Blue Baron 1.2

Man, reading digital comics is a pain now. Stupid Windows photo keeps going with clicking on the curser and enlarging a portion of the comic...and the zoom doesn't work. I mean, yeah, I can reset it easily enough, but then it's right back up. Seriously, what doorknob at Microsoft thought this was a good idea? I decide what is good!!

Speaking of....




When we last left off, Blue Baron was a top hero, Ernie was a loser; now, Blue Baron is Ernie and Ernie is Blue Baron and that has not been going well for either. Will this improve or is everyone in a lose-lose situation?


The Good.

The first page. Oh well. There we go. That page would have solved a good bit of my problems with the first part. Honestly, it really should have been the last page for that section as it just works better, but hey—Ernie's mom's name is Wanda. ...gotta be honest, I was really hoping for "May."


Blue Baron and Ernie. I just like how they are reacting to their situation. Blue Ernie is an immature teen in a superhero/multi-millionaire's body and has no idea what to do. I think my favorite is when he goes to help the Hero Union against Bad Company. And...that's how it really should go with Blue Ernie just messing everything up because he doesn't know his powers, he doesn't know how to fight, teamwork in general and it's still pretty funny.

And I like how Blue Ernie interacts with various people because—he's a little snot. Nearly every teen is a know it all little snot. Like his rundown on poor Protége. He got called out and he lashed out.

And Ernie Baron is not having much luck either. He's going from a grown adult to a kid with a super smothering mom who won't give him any space. And he has to deal with Ernie's problems: like gym class and a bully named Slater.

And he's a jerk. Best way to describe him would be Hawkeye in Superman's body. He's abrasive, arrogant, doesn't think things through and is hot headed. But he's still a good guy. He's patient with Ernie, opens up to him and gives him the encouragement and advice he needed to save the day.

The writing. And now with the rest of the writing. It's still funny. No jokes I really didn't like. I like the parallel to how the last issue ended now with Blue Ernie having to find his way around a mansion. And the villains were super fun and wacky. And there's some depth like Maven being a former hero and ex lover of Blue Baron. And the heroes are fun and each distinctive. And honestly...I laughed out loud at Blue Ernie just tearing into Protégé. Yeah, it was savage but so true.

And while Ernie Baron has gotten he short end of the stick, I liked how you have a man with superpowers not stuck in teen's body and...well, there's a big difference. And his ongoing war with Slater should be fun. And I like how, hanging out with a younger generation...even he wanted to change his outfit. That leads to a nice moment from Ernie that shows real maturity and appreciation for Blue Baron's rich history.

And the action is really well done. Not to take away from Darin Henry, but I think a lot of that has to do with Ron Frenz.



The art and everything else:

Yeah this was a great issue. I loved the fight and how it was funny and action packed. Just a great range of angles and layout. And I really love Blue Ernie's facial expressions when he's about to screw up or he has to explain himself or take responsibility. And Ernie Baron and his angry, arrogant reactions to everything is fun to look at. Him trying to climb a rope or pick a fight with someone twice his new body's size. And I really appreciate how everyone is on model. A standard that has dropped in certain companies cuffMarvelComicscuff. My favorite pages would definetly be when Blue Ernie is "helping" The Hero Union and just the action and insanity of it all. Most of the insanity being Mr. Rollercoaster.

It's just nice to go back and see new things I missed in a comic the first time.

And the coloring and lettering is great like always. Glen Whitmore just kills it. And Sal Buscema does a great job enhancing the art with his inks, which makes sense since the two worked on Spider-Girl together. And let's give him credit for the cover which is really nice. Man, it's nice when a comic's cover actually has something to do with the story inside. Maybe it's just me, but most covers feel phoned in.



The Bad

Hey, Ernie's dad and sister. Yeah, again, they don't get much to do with Ernie's dad getting a page and the little sister nothing. That'll probably change in the next issues and this comic does have a fairly numerous supporting cast, not to mention the main characters, villains, so someone's going to sit on the bench.



What I learned form what I read.

Blue Baron and The Phantom have a lot in common.

• Carson Corp is full of suck ups.
• Ernie's mom's name is Wanda.
• Never bring a rookie into a superhero fight.
• Blue Baron may not be subtle, but he does know how to motivate.
• Blue Baron's one weakness: Gym class.
• Protégé's costume stinks. I mean maybe for a kid sidekick it's fine...but you're 23! Winter Soldier up!
  
• Fighting an ex-teammate is bad. Fighting an ex-girlfriend makes it worse.
• Blue Baron just won someone their fantasy league.
• Just that a character like Mr. Rollercoaster exists.

 
Yeah, this was a really great issue. This was a fun read and review write up. I mean, the writing was great, the art is great. Only critique I have is Ernie's dad and sister not getting much panel time or named. Some people might not like the design of some costumes but...it's humor-action book. What do you expect?


It's an A. With the quality and price you can't go wrong here.

 Here we goes! Brand new reviews....of comics about five or six months old. Who knows, I might even review Start Up by the year 2020 at this break neck pace.


Before the thirteen stars and bars, there was a hero who fought taxation without representation with the speed of January gale and the strength of an oxen—The Blue Baron. And then there's Ernie: a bullied, superhero fanboy who gets way too many hugs from his mom. What happens when these two meet? Find out as we review BLUE BARON 1.1


Oh, and a brief keynote

Blue Ernie = Ernie in Blue Baron's body

Ernie Baron = Blue Baron in Ernie's body.

Memorize it. It will be your guide for the rest of the reviews.



The Good

The writing: This is a very funny book. I love the tour guide's talk on how he wasn't a scientist and the flashback red coat's "see which end of the rifle is effective for extracting information.". I like how there are superhero fantasy teams. And I can't think of a joke I didn't like. I also like the idea of a kid who follows superheroes becoming one of the heroes...just the one he thinks is a dork.

Blue Baron and Ernie are written well. We don't really get to see much of Blue Baron when he isn't in "witty banter mode" But from what we do get after the accident—he's kind of a jerk. Ernie's reactions and the brief fight he gets in with other heroes make sense—bullied kid who finally can fight back. And the reason for the fight is set up since the reflex makes total sense. And I like the bits of dialogue with Blue Baron using words like "continental" in place of money and Ernie with his ai dio mio. Just little things to make characters stand out.

And the issue does a great job of introducing the cast. We have the main characters. But we also get to see Ernie's geek clique, Slater and his gang of bullies,  the Superhero Union, Carson Corp. The only people that get short changed are Ernie's dad and his little sister, but the last page does gives us a good idea what she's going to be like—annoying little sister. Hey, not all tropes are bad.

And we're set up to a few mysteries to explore in future issues such as who is The Mikado? And the Specimen 6? What is it?

The art: Ron Frenz does a great job. I've been a fan of his work since Spider-Girl so I was extremely happy to see that he is the artist and he doesn't disappoint. The characters are all drawn real well with various size, shape and personalities. I read you the dialogue and then show you the comic, you'd go, "okay, that's what I was imagining or I can see that." I already knew he could do action but his comedy is great. When Blue Ernie decides to test out his powers on some poor guy and his car is hilarious. Bull and Raider in their last panel is great with Bull just having the most happy face. The fight scenes have great energy and I love the way Blue Ernie is shown fighting: just thrashing about with his eyes closed. Something I'd see a wimpy nerd do.



Mayday lives! Yeah. Apparently Spider-Girl went to a different universe, got married, and had kids. Good for her. Because Marvel Comics are pretty bad right now.


The coloring and lettering. I like it all. The colors really pop. Especially the sound effects during fights. And the colors and style make sense like "Thug" is pretty simple and orange and when Ernnie spills his milk SPLASH is colored white or GOOSH is...how you'd imagine it. The lighting during the flashback stands out to me. And the inking by Sal Buscema is great. He always jelled really welll with Frenz in the Spider-Girl book and the magic is still there.

The Bad

How the issue ends. Okay, I get that this is a comic split up into bits and it ends on a funny joke, but it does violate one rule of first issues I have...leave me wanting to read the next issue. Just some intrigue or a cliffhanger that can't make me wait to pick up the next issue. It jus doesn't hammer that for me.

A few names please. I kind of wish we had gotten the first names of Ernie's family. The mom especially since she's in it way more. I don't know, it's just a pet peeve of mine. Probably because (insert name) would be easier to write in a review than Ernie's little sister.

Bad tour layout. Haven't we learned anything about kids going on a field trip to anything scientific? Especially when there's a door labeled "RESTRICTED." 'Cause you know one of those little mutants is going to get all gamma powered up or something. Usually it's the loser nerdy kid.

What I learned.

That I was right in Freshmen American History; there were superpowered people who defended the colonists against the redcoats.

• Apparently, the Blue Baron Universe and Marvel Universe have the same "we're heroes, let's just fight" rules.
• I don't blame Bull. I too look for a reason to say that phrase in life. Sadly, nothing has come up yet.
• Only idiots draft Blue Baron in the first round in Superhero Fantasy Leagues.
• I don't know what's worse: having a field trip in science labs with an open restricted door...or that there was a particle disemmentator on display!!!
• Classic costumes never go out of style.
• Ernie's mom might be too smothering. You people decide.
• Slater has perfected his bully technique well.
• I don't know who this Cedric Carson is but I'm willing to be he's not important to the story at all. Nope.
• When your supervillain name is Liquidator...your story has really only two ways to end...and it's not the one where you become a cartoon water dog

 
It's a good issue. The writing and art are great. Coloring and lettering is super. I can't say it's a great issue because the ending feels so abrupt and doesn't pull the reader to wanting the next issue immediately. And I hate when characters are introduced and not named that issue. I'll give it a B+


And for everyone who wants to give this a read, last I checked, this issue is free at the Sitcomics website. Check it out. Read it.

And now to review—THE ISSUES I HAD TO PAY FOR!!

 PTF Reviews Super Suckers 4.1

Back by popular demand...one person! And that person is the creator! Will he regret that decision? Lets find out as we read--

Super Suckers cuatro el dotto uno!!!



Things I liked:

The writing. Hey, it's the first part for a story and it gets the ball rolling like it should do. We get to learn more about Jess and where she works. We're introduced to my new favorite character Ruben. We have the universe and everyone in it taking it to Stewart. You have continuity with Kelly's wackiness coming to bite her and Trevor wanting the date Jess promised him. Stewart dealing with Vera being in love with him is great. And I like that the universe and everyone not Vera just does not like him. Vera is great this issue with RHO as she pretty much does not half acknowledge the existence of what is going on. We're introduced to WILLLLOOOW JENKINNNNNSSS (no, sadly, she doesn't charge into the room recklessly) And we get a nice twist to end the issue. And I don't know why but in the basement during the coup planning, I like how they're in the dark and using candles. It's just so stupid and I love it.

The art. Hah. I love the kid sticking his tongue out at the readers on page 10 and the reactions he gets. It's just a fun way to introduce F.U.C and making it fun. And yeah, it's the normal great art by Shultz. Another sequence I liked is Stewart in the trash and having a bird fly involved in the scene gives a good indication of pace and time. It's just the Archie style done right. Too bad it's not being done at Archie, but I'll take greatness where I can find it.

Coloring and lettering. Standard good stuff I expect. I love Kelly's color scheme when she learns she could be kicked out of RHO. The yellows are great. Also the lighting in the basement. As for the lettering we have Tatiana's word balloon with the bold lines when she's responding to Jess on how her voice sounds deep when angry. Plus we get a few icy cold word balloons from Jess and Kelly.

The Gang's All Here: Well, if you wanted everyone in the comic back, you got it. And I think all the supporting characters have the time that each one warrants. So if you're a stickler for "everyone has to be in this comic." Here you go. Be quiet now!

Kelly: Last issue I had a problem with her being slightly out of character—A.K.A. being a major jerk. Well, she's back to be her nice self. We even learn her last name is Kellogg. Which fills me with hope that one day a character named D'Artagnan General Mills will grace the world. And with all the trouble being a vampire has causes her she now has to deal with a coup and having to get a popular band just to keep herself in RHO RHO RHO. I just thought she was a highlight this issue with her various reactions.

Paisley's turned heel!  Before she was just acerbated by the wacky people around her, now she wants to take over! Or at least get rid of Kelly and Vera. I like this because it gives the Paisley character something to do, gives her more personality, and it does make sense since she didn't like Vera being put in the sorority and got her objections being shot down by Kelly. Also how Kelly's been acting since being a vampire. So it does make sense. Not saying it couldn't have used development, but I do like the idea and concept of it all and it will probably lead to some good stories later on. So it's definitely more good than bad.

Ruben: I like this guy. Just his reactions to different people are great. He has my favorite line in the comment on page 15 that made me laugh out loud for a good bit.

Things I did not like.

WILLOOOWWW JJEEENNNWARRGOOO...? Whuh?: When the National President of RHO RHO RHO was first introduced her name was Willow JENKINS. When Kelly enters kangaroo court, her name is now Willow WARGO. And this isn't the first time for the series as Paisley went by a different name (India) from one issue to the next before, hopefully, settling on Paisley. These little mistakes drive me crazy. I mean, I understand making mistakes. It's going to happen. I'm sure Darin Henry had and has a ton of other stuff going on. My problem is not catching it. This is just something you would see on a proofread.
 

"Paisley's been after my presidency since I was elected." I just wish that line wasn't there because—I just never got that attitude from any of Paisley's past issues., I like the concept and idea but the reasoning for it feels forced. I think it would work better if Paisley was upset that she was ignored (like in the first issue about wanting to paint lettering red two hours ago and letting Vera join RHO) and just Kelly's weirdness since becoming a vampire (see issue two with the make-up dilemma) and it just built up to her becoming an antagonist instead of having it just "she always wanted my job."
 

Hey where'd that candle go? Paisley had a candle with her in the basement and then it's gone. WHERE DID IT GO?! WHERE DID IT GO?!?  Eh, I guess she could have put it down or something. Not that big a deal when you think about it...
 

No commercials. Eh, I guess some will miss them. I liked the story enough where I didn't miss them, but if you're into the feel of reading a sitcom then yeah.
 
What I learned from what I read.

Lyric is smarter than Summer, which is like saying a rock is smarter than poop.

• You get unlimited refills with your Big Swig Chug Mug.
• The Johnny Thunderheart Band is the greatest band since The Misfits!
• Trevor, Ever Vigilant Security Associate!!!
• Kelly's last name is Kellogg.
• Ruben has a backstory we all should know.
• There are people who make plans, and people who make the plans reality. Guess which one you want to be.
• RHO RHO RHO really has a lot on its plate. Blood drives, couples get together, Greek Fest...it's almost too much work to get to the fun!
• "Young Women Get Killed In Basements pt 4" is the best in the series. The worse?  "Young Women Get Vaguely Harmed In Basements." Stupid PG-13 rating.
• Paisley is SUPER peeved she did not get to go to the beach with the rest of the sorority.

 

Overall


Yeah, it's a super fun issue. The art and writing is the usual greatness I expect. Jess has workplace problems, Kelly has to find a way to stay in RHO RHO RHO, and Stewart has to deal with Vera. Vera...eh, she orbits reality occasionally like normal. It's a great read and fun. I like Ruben. Willow and Tatiana look to be fun antagonists going ahead for the rest of the story. And I like Paisley turning bad. I think the series needs a reoccurring villain. Like how Teddy Ruxpin had Tweeg.

...

I watched the Teddy Ruxpin cartoon when I was a kid. I'm old. I'm shocked I remember so much about it. But I'm not ashamed. Because there is nothing to be ashamed about.  NOTHING

There are problems with this issue. Like not being able to keep characters names straight. It's just a constant problem this series has had. And I think Paisley's heel turn was forced; I think it should have been developed more.

But while annoying, name problems doesn't affect the Willow character and I like Paisley's new attitude in this story and where it could lead.

I give this issue a B+



So tune in next time when I review Super Suckers 4.2.!!!

 PTF Previews Super Suckers 3.1.

Well, we're back. And before I begin the review, I want to give you, the readers, some helpful advice. Just because you have a warranty on something it doesn't mean: A) the people you have the warranty with will come when they promise and B) that they will actually FIX what is wrong.

So yeah, apparently seven hundred dollars down the drain.


But lucky for me, Sitcomics is back so there are comics I can afford!

Super Suckers is the story of two college girls turned vampires, their personal blood bank/butt monkey and their cavalcade of friends and one shot antagonist and the hot guy of the issue as they try to live their undead lives.

When we last left off: RHO RHO RHO House was haunted by a vengeful spirit, Jess was possessed and Kelly learned—wait wait, wait. Something's off. That sounds like a bad fan fic.

Anyway, let's get to the review.

Things I liked:

The Story. Hey, it's vampires at the beach, a deadly game of frisbee, and a guy ending up with his head in a horse's butt. That's what I want in every comic. And it's pretty funny from the start with the Amish County exit cracking me up all the way to Vera leaving Stewart to die alone.. And I like the dynamic of Jess and Kelly. Jess is more of a loner who really just wants to study, Kelly is a people's person who pretty much just wants to socialize and meet boys. The Stewart and Vera dynamic is great. I'm a big fan of going overboard with slang and dialect (probably why I'm the only person I know who likes Gambit, my hombres.) so I like the Spencer character. This the first part of the story and it leaves at a good point where I want to read the next issue, so it accomplishes a lot. So credit to Darin Henry, Jenn Lloyd and Kevin Bonani.
 
The Art. Jeff Shultz. This is probably the best art I've seen from him. It has everything I like. You have different locals, different people, different things, it's just amazing work. Yeah, the old, "everyone looks the same" old school Archie art criticism is not here. It has everything you want. Heck, it has what I like the most: stuff happening in the background. I love going back and seeing what I missed in a first reading. I just love how Jonas and Virgil are drawn, you instantly hate them. Just a lot of talent and versatility in this issue.
 
The coloring and lettering. Hey anytime I can see DONK and SLAMMO, I'm happy. And there's a good example of lettering making a story funny. There's a panel on page nine where it looks like a kid has the word balloons on a string. I'm pretty sure there is a real balloon with the word balloons put over it—and it's just funnier to me this way. So score one for Marshall Dillon. And off topic, he should really thank his parents for an awesome name.  And Glen Whitmore is banging the colors once again. Jess's sunburn looks legit and it's just a wide range of colors from the grass to the ocean to the sand.
4. Senor Uva. It made me smile. And during this cold, harsh winter, I need reasons to smile since obviously heat will not be an option for me.



5. The Letter page. I don't normally read letter pages, but I went back and made special exception since one of our own is showcased. It was fun with Darin answering questions.




Things I didn't like:

Same commercials. Yeah, for anyone who's read the first two issues, we get just reprints of the old commercials. I mean, still good, but nothing new for me.
 

Didn't name Lyric and Summer. Nitpicky but they have appeared in every issue (well if we put the parts together). I mean, I knew them but if someone new was reading this they'd probably wonder who they were so probably a name drop would have been nice.
 


Things I've learned from reading this comic:

My dad would like this issue because it has a joke from his favorite movie, Police Academy.

• Hundo P is surfer slang for 100 percent and; coincidentally, will be the name of my next starter pokemon no matter what.
• First aid is a lot different than what I thought it would be.
• If you're an optimistic main character and have an internal thought, the universe will reward you.
• If you're a pessimistic main character who says "what could possibly go wrong?" The universe will show you.
• The hotter the female, the prickier the boyfriend.
• Can't invite someone of the same sex to a couples retreat and not expect being thought of as a couple in this liberal PC Netflix world we're living in.
• Jess is a pre-med student.
• I like this issue because it has a joke from my favorite movie, Muppet Treasure Island.
• Frisbee, the disc of doom.

 
This is a great issue. Makes me remember why I like the series, writing, humor, the art. It's just a great collaboration. Only had a few nitpicks here and there. And we still haven't met the nurse lady in the intro who I'm guessing is the bad guy of the issue. I got all six new issues at comixology for 1.99. I was going to get Blue Baron but I'm down 700 bucks and...they had Mighty Morphin Power Rangers on sale. So maybe next month?

Anyway, I give this issue an A. So anyone who hasn't read should give this series a chance. It's a super fun book.

So be here next time where we check on the condition of Stewart, learn how Jess will deal with being a fried tomato and if Kelly will date and/or eat Spencer. And other surprises I'm sure are in store in Super Suckers 3.2 Electric Boogaloo!

...

And yes, I will always make that joke.

Just random thoughts because I finally watched the episode a few days ago.

I'm really starting to not be impressed with this Black Hood. I mean, three of the four people he's targeted have survived. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that he killed off Ms. Grundy and we'll never have to deal with her again, but c'mon! He shot Moose and Midge at point blank range and killed neither! That's pathetic.

Oh hey, there's a Midge! Yay! And she's cute! And into drugs because this is a CW show! Yay!

Y'know I had a pretty low opinion of Sheriff Keller last season--and it's even lower now. You've got the Black Hood taunting him, the pain in the neck small time paper lady just not doing anything he says, the mayor looks down on him, Archie has his own little battalion going on, and even Mr. Weatherbee puts him in his place. When the high school principal tells you to shove off, you have no respect in the community. And that's not mentioning not knowing what his idiot son is doing at night.

Speaking off..

Okay, I'm supposed to believe that Kevin Keller cannot find another guy in Rivedale? Look at Riverdale! It's liberal city!!! You have every minority, drugs, relationships on various age levels! Do you know how many characters have pulled a reverse Michael Jackson?  And he has to go to the wood and no...I don't know what he does in the woods. I don't want to know what he does in the woods. Oh, and excuse Betty for not wanting you to go out at night when there's a killer about. Like, int he general area where Moose and Midge were shot at!!!

And if Kevin is lonely, he should just join Archie Red Circle. Did you see that video? Why were they dressed like that?!?!

Do like Cheryl taking advantage of this to get back at Betty for blackmailing her.

And I don't know if this has been said--but Cheryl is freaking insane!!! She burnt her home and crippled up her mom (who deserved it) makes her watch Jason getting shot (still not feeling bad for her.) Also she somehow takes back the Vixens because she said so. I guess that's how it works...?

Archie is reaching all time levels of dumb. I mean, I get he's scared and angry but he isn't just taking the idiot ball, he's inventing new dumb games to use the idiot ball in. Like listening to Hiram Lodge. He's not even trying to hide he's evil. He's going to cause a panic in all of Riverdale, I don't trust him with a gun.

So Toni Topaz...she's a character. Again, having Trula Twyst would make more sense, have her manipulate Jughead--but we got to have the most overrated character ever in comics in this show. I love Fernando Ruiz, but sometimes I just want to kick him in the shins for what he's done to us.

(I'm just joking. He gave us Raj. It evens out. )

Alice Cooper and Hermoine Lodge are the worse type of people. When they're at their lowest, they'll be friendly with you to get them to help--but when they get back on their feet, they turn on you and go back to being the rotten human beings they are.

Also on the Kevin being lonely thing...didn't he and Moose--y'know what. We got Midge now. I'm just ignoring it. Moose and Midge forever. Kevin can be lonely.

And what's up with the South Side. It's like Escape from New York in that place!!! Or The Warriors. What kind of place is it where you get beat up on by a gang called The Ghoulies?

Alice Cooper is an idiot. Black Hood...no one would testify against you. Love the look Betty gave her after Alice acted like Polly leaving was somehow Betty's fault.

I gotta say, I'm not liking this season as much. I liked the first season because I liked Jughead and Betty together solving the mystery. This season we have them separated and Archie running around being a moron. I mean, Jughead is still narrating and writing this down so...shouldn't he um be the focal point?

Granted, he's been banished to the nether region, his dad's gang wants him to join, he's trying to start up Lost Boys High school paper, owes a favor to and evil lawyer, separated from--see, this is what I'm talking about. I'm way more interested in Jughead than Archie--and Archie is trying to become a vigilante or something!!

Is Hermione bipolar? Because she seems to be shifting from good to bad, jealous of Veronica to loving, taking in a pregnant girl to wanting her daughter to seduce someone. Seriously, writers. Pick something and stick with it!

Veronica, you will get to go in your daddy's study one day! If there is one thing I've learned from President Trump--evil rich guys love their daughters and want daddy daughter days all the time! Get a little desk right next to him.

Oh, and I hope Smithers mom is okay.


Anyway, final thoughts: it's an okay episode. Jughead's stuff is way more interesting to me, but he seems to be in Archie's role from last season where he's locked out of the main mystery going on. Archie's a dummy. Betty is still sweet. I like the storyline with Veronica trying to connect with her father and hoping against hope he's trying to be a better person.

Oh I almost forgot...

Thoughts on Mr. Lodge. Poor casting choice. They should have cast Dario Cuertes from Lucha Underground instead. Then you can have Hiram doing underground fighting and feeding people to his brother. It would have fit the series perfectly. Yeah, just this guy who ruins the entire town, everyone in it, putting them in horrible situations because he likes violence. Darn it, I started this as a joke, but now I want it!

SPOILERS.

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Hey, there's going to be a season six of Total Drama Island.
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I finally have enough money saved to get a 3DS. I'm thinking Litten as my stater.

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"Cliff hanger" heh-heh. Jughead, you witty person you.


Turns out you can't get rich from Maple Syrup as it was just a front for drug trafficking from Montreal...the evil part of Canada. Mayor Josie's Mom decides she's going to stomp out corruption kind of like how Donald Trump has dinner with James Comey. Instead of focusing on herself or the Blossoms, she's going after the easy targets: Those loveable scamps The Serpents.

Sheriff Dummy wants FP to give names for a lighter sentence but FP says the Serpents don't deal in heavy drugs, just weed and bros before your only son.

At the jubillee...seriously there was just a prom a few days ago!!!... she is going to have Betty and Archie front and center to sing and give a speech as the heroes of the town. Okay, Archie is no hero. He only contributed at the end said contributions were breaking and entering and putting on a dead kid's jacket.

Betty points this out, but Mr. Blackbee doesn't have the integrity of his white comic counterpart (Hey, I'm the not the writers making nearly every black character on this show evil or a jerk!) and tells her to shut up and go along.

Betty's got other problems as her family is trying to ignore what happened and acting like one big happy family. Veronica and Archie finally tell Betty that they are seeing each other and she's cool with it since she's with Jughead, a true blue hero...

Who is being sent to the South Side to a foster home and having to transfer out of Riverdale. Apparently Fred Andrews is disqualified because of money and a DUI off screen (Boo! Show don't tell!)

And it's not easy on the workside as Hermoine has lapsed into being a ...witch and fired all the Serpent workers and want's him to sell his stack in the land before Hiram comes back. She even wants Veronica to seduce Archie to help with that. Veronica, being one of the only five people worth a flip in this show) disapproves. I'm thinking Smithers lied about Hermoine.

Cheryl is acting weird (well besides the usual bi-polar of being really mean and then being nice) as she gives up being captain of the vixens, apologizes to Jughead and even gives him something to pawn for money.

And Penelope is in real...witch mode herself as she is cold to Cheryl and won't even let her stay home....also why did Sheriff Keller leave that rope up in the barn? He is horrible at his job. Eh, like that will have an effect on her.

Archie goes to FP where FP tells him Jughead will go into the darkness and he needs to be there for Jughead before that happens. He of course doesn't.

Jughead decides to give in and go to South Side High where...dear lord. You know those 90 movies that have horrible schools like the Substitute? Times that by ten and add in North Korea. That's about what South Side is. Betty and the gang (well not Kevin because...where the heck is he??) get him and show he's loved.

Too bad Cheryl is trying to kill herself in the frozen Sweetwater lake. She falls in but Archie (with no time to take of his shirt to show his abbs) breaks the ice with his bare, bloody hands, pulls her out, and breaths life back into her body! Okay, fine. Archie finally did something heroic.

Veronica takes her home and Hermoine is still being a...witch.

Jughead sees his dad. Jughead don't turn heel! If I can believe in Megatron being heroic, I know you can overcome this.

Archie and The Pussycats sing, Betty gives a speech that inspires Riverdale to overcome the darkness that is engulfing Riverdale! That Archie is Riverdale! Veronica is Riverdale! Whenever Kevin is there, he is Riverdale! Reggie is...well, he's not Riverdale. Fred regains his faith in humanity and refuses to sell! Puppies and kittens are playing together in the streets!!

And the gang goes off for shakes at Pops and everything's happy! Yeeeeeeeaaaahhhhh!

(Looks at watch)

Huh. There's about seven minutes left.

And this is the CW Channel. With the guy who decided "Zombies in Riverdale" as the creator of the show.

Uh-oh.

Archie and Veronica make out...ah. There's those abbs.

Jughead and Betty are making out in FP's trailer when the Serpents show up and offer to help Jughead, don't take that jacket Jughead...don't....NOOOOOOO!!!

Cheryl burns down the mansion. Whatever.

Huh. I don't see Nana Rose...eh whatever.

Oh and there's a robbery at Pop's where Fred Andrews gets shot. Whatever.

Jughead turned heel. and I feel like I did when my hamster died...



Anyway, pretty good episode. I do have a few problems with it but those problems are the same through the series but it was great. Great cliffhanger, storylines were advanced. The acting was good. Archie actually did something worthwhile. So until next season...or I get around talking about what I liked and didn't like about the show.

Spoilers for anyone who hasn't watched the episode.


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It turns out the murderer of Jason Blossom was

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Seriously, if you don't want to know and scrolled down this far, don't blame me.
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Clifford Blossom. Okay, it stormed in my area so I missed some parts in the episode but from what I can piece together from what I saw. Jason didn't want part of the family business (not the maple syrup part) and wanted to leave with Polly and needed money so he wanted to run drugs for JP and Serpents. They decide to hold him for ransom because "rich kid" but that leads to Clifford shooting Jason. Looks like one of the serpents (the one who was going to clobber Archie in the bar) had roughed him up pretty bad.

Also on a more creepy level, we find out why Hal stole the evidence from Sheriff Useless and why the sudden mood swing: turns out grandfather Cooper...was a Blossom. That's right. The Coopers are really Blossoms, they just gave up the family name after their side of the family tree was robbed of their wealth. So Betty and Cheryl are cousins and Polly and Jason...are something I see in the South far too often.


Daddy Jones confesses to the murder because Clifford went to him when he went to jail and told him he'd kill Jughead if he didn't take the blame. I mean, yeah, he kidnapped and dumped the body, but y'know...who am I kidding, he's garbage.


The evidence was found on a flash drive after Joaquin leads them to where he stashed Jason's jacket. So that was his insurance.

When Sheriff Moron finally arrives at the Blossom compound he finds Clifford hung himself in the barn and several barrels with drugs. So that was what Jason was trying to get away from. So yeah. Jason was the only pure hearted red head on this show. And you can argue Archie when he stops going after every girl he sees!

Anyway random thoughts.


Jughead had it rough this episode. His friends betray him, his dad is in jail, all the adults treat him like garbage, and when he wants to live with his mom...she's moved on wants him to stay out of her and his sister's life. So all the hope of his family ever being together was for nothing. I'm a guy, and even I wanted to give him a hug.

Oh, and the adults in this episode, save for Alice Cooper, took a few levels in dumb. As the kids try to explain that gun was planted but are not believed. Fred took an extra level in jerkiness, too with his treatment of Jughead. He was so bad, Archie wanted to move to Chicago. Seriously, do you know how bad you are when being in Chicago is better than being in a room with you? Did you all not see that Draft?


The random serpent guy I didn't bother remember was killed and made to look like an overdose with money from a bag with the initials H L on them.


Betty Cooper really carries this episode as she proves that she and Jughead are the real stars of this show and the only two with fully functional brains. She even figures out "hole in jacket" something probably in the linen of the jacket. I mean, probably didn't need Archie to put the dead kid's jacket on, but Archie has been a jerk for a good bit, so yeah. Serves you right. Ghost cooties.

Sheriff Keller is an idiot.

Hiram is getting out of jail, so y'know nature hates a void so we're getting a new evil rich guy! Yay!

Kevin inherited a good deal of Sheriff Rosco's braincells, but luckily he has smart friends who convince him something is up with his boyfriend.

The House GOP reads healthcare bills better than Sheriff Keller examines evidence.  Well, evidence that doesn't get stole from him.

Hal breaks into the Cooper home to destroy the evidence and reveals...ewwww...and of course The Coopers get Polly the heck out of their. The transmission cuts off a bit, but Betty probably said something awesome to Penelope.

The transmission again goes out when Betty and Polly talk. So someone will have to fill me in on what they said.

Betty should be the Sheriff of Riverdale.

Apparently Pop Tates is like Wal-Mart: opened 24/7

Jughead is upset that his dad will stay in jail because...y'know disposing the body, kidnapping, perjury. While I know that this seems right in the normal world, I don't like agreeing with Sheriff Hindrance.

I want to feel bad for Cheryl...but nah. Maybe this will make her a better villain later on. Seriously, you tell everyone that Betty kidnapped and tortured someone...and Betty is still doing Homecoming? Your dad was right, you are a disappointment.



So my thoughts, all joking aside. I liked the episode, but I think the mystery could have been done a bit better.

Okay, let's take the Cooper/Blossom thing. Jughead and Betty were researching everything and they never stumbled across this or looked into it? I mean, I'm pretty sure town hall, archives, old newspapers. But whatever.
What bothers me is that this wasn't hinted at. Heck, how about something like "Polly and Jason have the same eyes" or some sort of comment.

And I'm supposed to remember that one random Serpent from when he messed up the costruction site in the dark and in the darkly lit bar?

Just a few subtle hints like when Monk goes over "Here's what happened" and I can go "oh okay, I missed that in the beginning but it's there." Just so I have a chance to get all the clues instead of two big bits revealed that I had no way of knowing. But I will give them credit for Clifford telling the family "I looked our son's killer in the eye" as proof he went to the jail. It's just one or two little tweeks to make this perfect.



But the jacket and it's importance did come up. And again, at least you had the two stars of the show, Betty and Jughead go to their board, eliminate suspect and come down to the finally two, The Blossoms.

And you really feel for Jughead. Man, do you feel for this kid. All the adults dump on him, his dad's in jail and still a criminal, and his mother doesn't want him in her life and when he tries to leave Riverdale he's stuck. Heck, he even moves into the Andrews garage after he overhears Fred not wanting him for fear something could happen to Archie. Great work by Cole.

And Reinhart. Those two are the main reason why I like this show. And Camilla. And the chuckles I get when Archie is just randomly shirtless for no reason but to show his abs. "Hey, let's go jog in my boxers to Ms. Grundy's."



So it was a great episode...and this isn't even the season finale!

It's Jughead's birthday as Betty tries to throw him a small, nice party--which is ruined by the two main villains of the show. Archie is depressed that not only is he and Valerie through but his parents are finally getting their divorce finalized. Veronica must come to terms with how ruthless her father can be. And Midge has to come to terms that she is non corporeal and that's okay.

Okay I know it's not right to start random musing with preview at the end...but Riverdale is too dangerous and CHICAGO is the better option!??


That's right, I was right as Cheryl teams up with Chuck to cause trouble just because they are both evil jerks who everyone hates, so why not?

I'm really enjoying Bughead as they are both damaged people who are decent human beings who have found each other and have connected. Jughead doesn't think he can be who Betty deserves and Betty thinks she has to be perfect. In the end they realize what they are. Honestly, I thought they were going to break up but Poppa Jones actually was a parent for a good ten seconds.

EEEEE Jughead took his hat off for Betty!!! EEEEE

I mean, Poppa Jones wasn't a parent for the entire kegger party, but hey, he's an alcoholic, thief, and possible murderer. Let's not hold him to too high of standards.

It looks like The Lodge Family has something on the Blossom family as they have forced the red hair clan to pay them a large amount of money every month--for seventy-five years!!! I'm guessing Great grandpa Lodge has evidence showing Great Grandpa Blossom killing Not as Great Cooper. Probably on VHS or something. That was around back then, right?

Speaking of Hiram, he hears that Veronica won't testify that he's a good human being--so he threatens to take down Hermoine with him unless Veronica says exactly what he wants!! Humanitarian of the years, folks.

Veronica: Smithers, is my mom good?

Smithers: A saint.

Veronica: What about my father?

Smithers: He's evil incarnate and has committed acts of cruelty that have made the world an irreversible worse place. I found religion solely on the need to believe there is a hell waiting for him.

Smithers: Oh, and how was school today, miss?

Veronica: ...

I think I might move Chuck up on my "going to get killed" list since he punched the son of a the local gang leader with said gang leader in the room and throwing him out.

And it looks like everyone is starting to get sick of Cheryl as the cheerleaders side with Veronica and even her two newly unemployed henchwomen/ vixens don't even vote for her. I guess it doesn't help that if you breath the wrong way this crazy psycho red head tries to ruin your life. To paraphase a horrible C Reiley movie "THE WRONG TWIN DIED THAT DAY."

To deal with getting dumped and his parents divorce Archie gets drunk before the birthday party and then gets drunk even more during the kegger party. And he even drunk dials his dad after the worst bit of camera work ever on the show thus far.

I like how even Poppa Jones acknowledges that the kids are the ones he needs to worry about.

And he probably feels a lot worse now that so much more information was given out during Cheryl and Chuck's revenge fest.

Joaquin: They're going to find out--they're going to know!

Jones: No they won't.

Cheryl: ...Did you know that Lodge hired the Serpents to ruin the theater?

(Joaquin gives Jones a death glare)

(Jones takes a sip of his beer)

Jones: Meddling kids.


...Actually, come to think of it, it really wasn't that good of a revenge. I mean, yeah, you told about Archie banging Ms. Grundy...but that'll only make him more popular. Veronica nailed Cheryl with the the twincest and killiing her own brother. And in the end, the characters ended up in a better place with Bughead stronger after dealing with issues  and Veronica needed to get some anger out of her system. Heck, Cheryl gave the teens more pieces to the puzzle of the murder of Jason.

...

Wow. Cheryl is a horrible villain. She doesn't succeed at anything! I mean, yeah, she's snarky and gets in good lines, but that's all she is!

Turns out that Alice Cooper used to be a Serpent.

Also Mr. Weatherbee decides it's okay for her to advise on the Blue and Gold because...eh. Whatevers.

She also caught Joaquin talking with Poppa Jones and she told Betty. Yep, Jones, those kids are the ones you have to worry about. BIG TIME.

And Archie and Veronica might be a thing. Well, it's a huge upgrade over Valerie. I swear, there should be a rule about bad Dan Parent ideas staying in one medium only.

Veronica decides to tell the world how great her dad is and he rewards her with a pearl necklace. That's good because she broke the last one out of grief about the parent of a friend who attempted suicide because of him.

Veronica decides to join up with Bughead and crazy mom to investigate what is going on. So yeah, that makes three of the four main characters now in the interesting storyline while Archie...

I dunno, there's about four episodes left in the season so he'll probably be with six different girls, mope about his music, and whine about his parents while occasionally showing his abs. See, I never got the hate for comic Archie, but this guy. Yeah. I get that hate.

Anyway this was a very good episode. The only thing I can say I hated was The Archie drunk camera thing they were going for as it looked really stupid. No episode next week as...there's a gamer contest??

Okay, what's up with these video game tournament shows? TBS has one and now CW? You know what I do when I want to see someone play video games? I go on youtube and watch Markiplier.

 Page 1

Panel one: Jughead is lying in a heap in his bed as his stomach is grumbling. Jughead has half the cover on him so we can see his shorts and feet. One of Jughead's socks has slipped off his foot. Jughead has his left arm over his eyes as he tries to ignore his stomach. Jughead's bed and room have various food wrappers and pizza boxes lying on the ground. On his door is a dart board of hate with Trula's picture on it with five darts on her smirking lips. Lying in a pile are various Derby Dalton comics. On a nearby counter is a picture of The Archies with a slice of pizza lying over it. We can see that he's mark over Reggie's face to give him a mustache and missing teeth.

Jughead's stomach: Forsythe Jones the 3^rd, rise. We must venture forth early this Valentine's Day morn.

Jughead: No...Valentine's Day bad...hibernation good...

Panel two: Jughead's eyes pop open as his stomach continue to growl.

Jughead's stomach: Have you forgotten the layaway from a year past, my indolent host?

Panel three: Jughead leaps out of bed in pure excitement.

Jughead: The giant chocolate frosted sugar supreme bomb of Mama B's!!

Jughead: She only makes it once a year and they sell like hot cakes! I paid her a year in advance to make sure I got the biggest, bestest one!

Jughead's stomach: Yes, YES!  Now, I will wait patiently. Digesting gum to bide the time.

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead is at his front door as he begins to reach for the door knob as he licks his lips.

Jughead: One bite of that delectable sweet will make this entire rotten lovey dovey pish posh fricka frack I'll have to trudge through worth it!

Panel two: Jughead opens the door as Ethel is dressed up in a heart costume with a banner reading: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. She has her lips puckered for a kiss as Jughead looks blankly at her.

Ethel: Do you know what today is, Juggie?

Panel three: Jughead just slams the door in her face nonchalantly.

Jughead: International Door Slamming Day.

SFX: SLAM

Panel four: Jughead is walking away from the door as Ethel is knocking on the door.

Ethel outside: Hear that? That's my heart beating for you!

Jughead: Thought it was the theme to JAWS.

Panel five: Outside Ethel is kicking and punching at the door as Jughead is sneaking out a side window of the house.

SFX: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Ethel: Jughead!! Come out!! It's the day of love!!

SFX: KICK KICK

Ethel: LOVE!

Page 3

Panel one: Ethel turns around to see Jughead running away into the distance.

Ethel: Sigh. He's so adorable when he plays hard to get.

Panel two: A close up on Ethel as she winks at the reader.

Ethel: But this year, Ethel Muggs came prepared.

Panel three: Jughead is looking back with a smile as he takes long strides down a sidewalk.

Jughead: Well, that's that for Ethel.

Panel four: Jughead is shocked to see Ethel, now dressed in regular clothes right behind him, holding a plate with a cloche over it. Jughead stops in mid stride as he looks on in disbelief that Ethel somehow got ahead of him.

Ethel: Juggie! Fancy running into you!

Caption: Wait, What?

Panel five: Jughead is talking to a caption box as Ethel is frozen in place. The caption box is right at Jughead's face ast they talk.

Jughead: Something wrong?

Caption: No. It's just.... Um...I get your stomach talking to you, but how did she get ahead of you?

Panel six: Jughead slightly shrugs his shoulders at the caption box as the caption box tilts as if trying to sneak off the panel.

Jughead: You understand how my stomach has gained independent sentience...? You're loony.

Caption: ...I'm just going to say out of the way for the rest of the story unless there's an emergency...


Page 4

Panel one: Over the shoulders of Ethel as Ethel begins to lift the cloche as Jughead turns his head.

Ethel: So how about the juggie love ship deck Ethel bay with a kissie wissie?

Jughead: The S.S. Jughead has set shore and laid anchor at Never Going To Happen Land.

Panel two: Ethel has the cloche up to reveal a pile of delicious chocolate cookies with the chocolate bits shaped like harts. The aroma goes into his nostrils as he is overtaken. Jughead is reaching out with both hands for the cookies as he has his tongue hanging down his chin.

Jughead: Raise anchor! Set the sails!

Panel three: Ethel slams the lid back down as Jughead bangs his fingers against the cloche as he winces in pain as pain stars surround his hands.

Ethel: No so fast!

Panel four: Ethel holds out her head and puckers her lips for Jughead to kiss. Jughead is blowing into his pain riddled finger as he tries to blow away the pain stars over each digit. A jogger confused jogger looks on at Jughead not noticing an open manhole.

Ethel: If you want cookies in stomach I want lips on lips. A kiss for a cookie. Sugar for sugar.

Panel five: Jughead takes a step back off-panel as Ethel closes her eyes and can barely contain herself as she thinks she's finally going to get all the kisses she wants. The man is leaping out of the manhole as an alligator sticks it's head out to bite at him.

Jughead: Fine. Just give me a few seconds.

Ethel: Tee-hee.

Page 5

Panel one: The entire panel is black with only Ethel's thought balloon.

Ethel thought balloon: It's finally happening!

Panel two: Pure black as the first panel save for the thought balloon.

Ethel thinking: And Jughead is so happy! Listen to him pant and bark.

Panel three: The panel is pure black save for the middle to show Ethel is opening her eyes to see Hot Dog and Vegas charge at her with their tongues out and overjoyed to see her.

Ethel thought balloon: "Pant and bark"? What is—

Panel four: Hot Dog and Vegas leap at Ethel and knock her to the ground as the plate of cookies fly in the air and Jughead happily waits for it to fall into his open hands.

Ethel: ACCKK

Panel five: In the foreground, Hot Dog and Vegas are licking Ethel's face all over as this tickles her as she struggles to stop them while laughing her head off. In the background, Jughead is walking away while eating the last cookie as he leaves the plate and cloche on the sidewalk. In the background, a penguin with a hand glider is dropping a box of chocolates to the alligator as it waves hello to the penguin.

Jughead: Kiss for cookies.

Jughead: It's for the dogs.

Ethel: Hee Hee! Stop Stop!!

Page 5

Panel one: Jughead is walking past an antique shop called Golden Oldies Retros as he has a strut in his step as he is happy he got rid of Ethel for a bit. Walking past him is Maria and Frankie and Chuck and Nancy.All of Riverdale is decorated in red and pink with red hearts hanging on poles and even a stop light with hearts shaped lights. On other shop windows are various drawings of cartoon boys and girls giving each other cards.


Jughead: Well, took care of Ethel, and now to get my just reward.


Panel two: Jughead walks up to Mama B's bakery to see that a long light of teenage boys are waiting in line and out the sidewalk. Each one has a pink or red envelop in their arms. Jughead tips his hat as he's concerned by what he sees.

Jughead: Curses. There goes my hope and dreams of this being a six page story. If there's one thing I hate more than Valentine's Day, its extra work.

Jughead: Well, work in general. Just effort specifically.


Panel three: Jughead taps the shoulder of one of the angry teens in front of him as he is scribbling on a Valentine's Day card.

Jughead: Pardon.

Angry teen: What'd ya want, string bean?

Jughead: Two things: one, when did everyone come down with a sever case of sweet tooth...

Jughead: ...and two, can I skip ahead. I already prepaid a year back and all the red and pink is making me nauseous. I'll be in and out.

Panel four: The teen grabs Jughead by collar and lifts him off the ground. Jughead's face remains stoic to everything.

Angry teen: We all forgot today was Valentine 's Day and we now we need to get our sweeties' chocolates to show how much we love them!

Jughead: Sounds to me you fellas forgot the wrong type of date.

Panel five: The angry teen to the approval of the other angry boyfriends toss Jughead right at the reader as Jughead does his best to try and flap his arms hoping it will help him fly and not be injured.

Angry teen: --And as for skipping ahead of us all after we've waited hours—

Angry teen: SCRAM!!!

Caption: EMERGENCY! Readers, duck! He's coming right at you!!

Page 7

Panel one: Jughead falls into the arms of Moose as Jughead tips his hat to him.

SFX: Plop

Moose: Duh, Jughead I didn't know you could fly.

Jughead: Anything can fly if you propel if fast enough. It's the land that's normally the problem. Thanks, Moose.

Panel two: Moose sets Jughead down as Jughead looks back with a sinister glare at the line of boyfriends just a few feet away from him.

Jughead: So guess you're out getting gifts for Midge for his hallmark holiday.

Moose: Nah, I don't read books. But I did get my Midgie a few Valentine 's Day gifts last week. Only the best for Midge.

Jughead: Huh. Funny thing...

Panel three: Jughead points back at the line of teens who are all reading and comparing cards. Over the left side of the panel we can see Moose become enraged as blood vessels in his arms and fists pop out.

Jughead: Those guys were getting the best chocolates for Midge. I told them the lady was spoken for, but they gave me the heave ho.

Moose: IS. THAT. SO.

Panel four: Moose's finger taps the angry teen's shoulder as he begins to turn around, not knowing who it is.

Angry teen: Look, needle nose, I'm getting my girl her stupid chocolate and that's that!!

Angry Teen: Wah---?

Panel five: Moose is towering over the angry teen and all the other teenage boys waiting in line as he looks demonic. Moose has flaming skulls in his eyes and his skin tone is a bright red as he is so enraged. Moose's hair is standing up straight. Steam is erupting from Moose's ears like a volcano and he is snorting flames. Behind him Moose, Jughead is pointing with a free hand at the sign he is holding that reads: You say scram, I say VAMOOSE.

Moose: RRAAAARRRRRRR



Page 8

Panel one: Jughead is at the counter to Mama B's as Mama B is confused as to what happened to all her customers as she walks back behind the counter from the back. She has small specks of floor on her face and apron. Jughead has set the sign he had on the counter as play innocent.

Mama B: Jughead! Where did you come from?

Jughead: If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that, I'd have Hiram Lodge as my butler.

Panel two: A close-up on Jughead as he has his arms folded on the counter as he eagerly waits to get his chocolate frosted supreme sugar bomb. Mama B is trying to hold her laughter as she is reaching down behind the counter. In the background through the windows Mama B's, Moose is still chasing after every guy who was waiting ahead of Jughead.

Mama B: I meant what happened to that long line, child.

Jughead: Well, let's just say, Cupid's arrow isn't the only thing that's going to strike them today.


Panel three: Mama B opens a large sized flat box that the reader can't see over her shoulders but Jughead looks at it as his face twists in disgust.

Mama B: It doesn't matter, and don't fret, Mama B has an elephant's memory. I know why you're here.  I made you treat just how you like it and even gave it a special design for the holiday.

Jughead: It's like something from my nightmares.

Panel four: Mama B closes the lid and pulls the box back slightly much to Jughead's chagrin.

Aunt B. Well, if you don't like it, I can just give you your money back. I'm sure someone else would appreciate—

Panel five: Jughead snatches the box as Aunt B chuckles to herself.

Jughead: I eat with my eyes closed and mouth wide open. This is not a problem!

Mama B: Mmm-humm.



Page 9

Panel one: Jughead looks at the box in his hand with a smile as he struggles to carry it, happy with his purchase as he walks back to his home as he is now in a suburban area of Riverdale.

Jughead: Not a fan of the chocolate sculpting, but I don't understand how an unfinished statue with no arms is considered a work of art.

Jughead: Besides, it will be delicious. I waited a year for this. Nothing is going to ruin this for me.

Panel two: Jughead is turning the corner as he hears a noise that stops him in his track.

Ethel off panel: Sob Sob.

Panel three: Ethel is sitting on the sidewalk crying into her arms as Jughead looks on sympathetically. Sitting next to her is Hot Dog and Vegas. Hot Dog leans his head sympathetically towards her while Vegas licks her elbow as he tries to make her feel better.

Ethel: (sniff sniff) All I wanted...was to wish him a Happy Valentine's day...!

Ethel: (Sob sob) And maybe just one little kiss...is just one kiss asking so much....

Panel four: Jughead looks down at the box as he exhales and his lips flutter his facial expression is one that says" easy come, easy go."

Panel five: Jughead walks up to Ethel and taps her shoulder as Ethel turns her head up towards him.

Ethel: Huh?

Panel six: Jughead offers the box with his chocolate frosted sugar supreme bomb inside as Ethel is perplexed by Jughead's actions and words.

Jughead: This is the best anyone can ever hope for.


Page 10

Panel one: Betty and Veronica are walking along the street as Betty and Veronica are each carrying several boxes of different size and shapes of candy.

Veronica: Bettykins, I'd have to say this was a nice year for us both.

Betty: And even better day for our dentist, Ronnie.

Panel two: Betty and Veronica are walking down the same street that Jughead had been before he saw Ethel from the last page. Veronica is rolling her eyes and smiling at Betty's comment.

Betty: I say we share with our friends. Like Ethel. Poor girl spends her entire day chasing the same boy all for naught. I can't imagine what that's like.

Veronica: Sure you can't.

Panel three: Betty turns to Veronica to argue as a wide eyed Veronica is pointing straight ahead.

Betty: I saw that! I saw you roll your eyes!

Veronica: Really? Good. Now look at that and tell me what I'm seeing!

Panel four: In the foreground, Ethel is standing up and is kissing the now revealed giant puckered lips chocolate frosted sugar bomb as she has melted chocolate covering her face and dripping down her arms as Hot Dog and Vegas happily wait for each chocolate drop to hit their extended tongues as they happily wag their tails. In the background, Betty and Veronica are in shock and let their arms down and their valentine candy falls at their feet.

Ethel: BEST

Smooch

Ethel: VALENTINE'S DAY

Smooch

Ethel: EVER!!

THE END.

One issue at a time.



 

Issue 272:

My, what a cheery cover. Betty and Veronica look so happy as they venture out into the world. I don't normally skim pages but I just can't help myself—OH DEAR LORD THEY DIED!?!

The Good:


Betty and Veronica: While a good majority of the characters are hampered by the first act (and the main stars not being in the first ten pages) fake out, Betty and Veronica are in character. Veronica is her usual arrogant self who doesn't think before she speaks. Betty is nervous and already trepidations about leaving home. How they each say goodbye to Archie at the airport is all on point.

There's some good jokes. You have a fun exchange about girls with Archie, Reggie, Jughead and Kevin Keller that I chuckled at. And if not for the art or coloring (I'll go into detail later) there is a really funny joke with Midge and Cheryl that Midge ends up winning 2 to 1.

The second half: It's not perfect, but it's sure as heck better than the first half of the issue (I'll get to that later). You actually do have some nice moments with Betty and Veronica with their family and friends. And actual jokes and funny moments. What Archie Comics are—er, were about. It's nice to see two characters with so many friends and how cherished they are. Overblown...yeah. But it sure as heck beats pretending for ten pages they died!!

Cheryl: She's a...um, witch. Yeah, we'll keep this review PG. She wants to take advantage of Betty and Veronica leaving, gets into a fight with Midge over it, and immediately tries to date Archie and Reggie.

Betty crying: Out of all of Riverdale, you seem to be the only one capable of biologically crying in the appropriate manner, for the most part. I just want you to know I appreciate that.

Good art: I'm not a fan of most of the art in this issue but we do have some good pages. Like Betty's mom or The Lodges. Unfortunately it's kind of pointless and wasted by the stupid first half of the issue. And the very last few pages with the girls and their families and Archie are nice. Also, I know it's not intentional, but after the first ten pages, Mr. Cooper's expression just seems funny. "Wait? They're not dead??"

The Coloring: Glenn Whitmore is at the top of his game. I think my favorite coloring is with Smithers looking to Veronica's empty room and crying. I mean, it's in the first ten pages I hated what they did with, but at hey—at least I know Smithers cares about Veronica...unlike her parents!

Bridgette: I'm not a fan of this Mary Sue, and last I heard, she was in another country world famous. Now she's back in Riverdale, probably a grade behind her friends, and poor. She had her dream and lost it! That's why she looks so unhappy! Ha-Ha!

Ginger Lopez. Whew. I thought we'd have a Dan Parent drawn comic without her for a second.



The Bad:

What a twist—feh. Okay, so we have this fun cheery cover of the girls smiling and waving goodbye to us with nice happy coloring—and then the first half of the story has every character (save for The Lodges) acting like Betty and Veronica died!! I'm not joking, you have every character crying/sweating like the girls' plane went down in a fiery blaze. Okay, let's take out the cover (no, keep it. It's one of the few good things) but it's just stupid, unnecessary. Honestly, a lot of it feels like it's just something to take up page space. I mean, I don't know what you could have done...maybe, just throwing this out there—HAVE THE MAIN CHARACTERS IN THE FIRST TEN PAGES OF THEIR BOOK!!! ...Okay, me Michael Uslan are not going to get along very well with one another. I can tell that right now.

Um, why are they leaving? Yeah, they never really say why they're leaving. That seems important.

The art. I'm going to be honest. I'm not a fan of Dan Parent's art. I just don't like it. I can take it in small doses. But when you had Ruiz, Lindsey, The Kennedys...he's second worst, just ahead of Pat in my pecking order And his art works best in limited pages and limited characters. Just check out ever female character not Bridgette, remember those old comics where you could cut out the hair and clothing and tape over them? That's what you can do with Dan Parent's girls. And besides that a lot of pages seem rushed and sloppy. Like the Little versions of the Archie crew and the first page where we see Mr. Weatherbee and Ms. Grundy After the fight, Midge looked like she did have a black eye, but Cheryl...she looks like she hadn't slept for two days, and it hurts a funny joke. And during the double spread...I'm trying to figure out the proportions of Archie and the stage to everyone else.  And looking back...Raj looks like he's about to fall over. Also, there are a lot of misshapen (but polite sign holding) mutants. No wonder the girls want to leave! Horror was coming to Riverdale sooner than we all thought!

Jughead's mom: This deserves its own little spot because—I HATE WHEN JUGHEAD AND HIS MOM ARE DRAWN TO LOOK ALIKE!!!

Tears? Okay this annoyed the heck out of me throughout the story. You have all these characters crying and, save for Betty, they look like someone turned up the heat. The way they're drawn it looks like the tears start right at the upper cheek. It's really weird and it happens so much it's annoying. I get that the idea is the tears rolling down their face...but it doesn't look that way! It looks like sweat!

Okay, now I know you're wasting my time: There's a small section of a page where Mr. Weatherbee critiques Miss Grundy for watching the Walking Dead and she goes on a mini-rant about classical monsters...WHY WOULD YOU GO THERE? Even crudely drawn Archie, Jughead, and Ginger Lopez is wondering why we're wasting time with this.

...

And for the record, Mr. Weatherbee is right about The Walking Dead being horrible.

Character walking into the panel. How dare you. Deadpool is the only character that is allowed to break the 4^th wall!!

Miss Grundy slamming the door behind her: It's just rude.

What I learned from what I read.

Betty won't be missed. She already has a little clone running around.

• Smithers loves Veronica more than her parents.
• Don't insult classical literature involving monsters in front of Miss. Grundy.
• People in Riverdale cry really weird.
• Midge >>>>Cheryl. SHIROUKEN!!
• Mr. Weatherbee doesn't like The Walking Dead.
• Every time Betty and Veronica are out of eyeshot, everyone in Riverdale reaches new lows in depression.
• Mrs. Cooper gets real emotional folding laundry.
• A Power point presentation? Riverdale is full of cavepeople.
• Wait...Veronica left for the plane first, then Betty left after saying goodbye to Archie—and Veronica is behind Archie right after Betty leaves? Veronica's a nightcrawler!!

 

I'm not going to lie, this was a rough one. I hated the first ten pages of trying a stupid stunt no one with a brain or working eyes would fall for and this issue felt like so much filler and buying time. The art is pretty bad. A lot of characters look so sloppy. But there is the occasional good dialogue and jokes and a few pages where I do give Dan Parent credit on the art. I'm going to be super super SUPER nice and go D+

And not onto the next issue where the girls haven't left Riverdale...wait, what? Am I reviewing these in the right order?!

 PTF Reviews Target: Jughead.

Man, the things you find at a late January yard sale! I guess global warming isn't so bad afterall. Trust me, when I went into that old ladies y-sale, I did not expect to find digests (Jughead with Archie 171-173...for a dollar! WHOOO!) containing a story I've been looking for forever, along with all issues of the Kevin Keller series and a certain infamous storyline round these parts. Oh, and The Changling. But the DVD didn't work so that's one dollar wasted, but does the first Trula Twyst story live up to the hype? Let's find out!

Jughead is paranoid. The boys of Riverdale High believe he is faking being a woman hater and this one particular curly haired girl is everywhere he goes. Is there a connection, a scheme, if so what?

The Good.

Boldman and Lindsey: The ultimate Jughead crew. I really can't think of a single story by these two that I hate. And they had over ten years. And this story is one of their best. Jughead is at his quirkiest and wittiest. Jughead dealing with each agents of J.U.S.T. by eating, sleeping, or just turning one into a couch potato. How I miss closed eyes, witty, cunning Jughead over opened eyes, "happy-happy-cray-cray" Jughead. And the build to this story is really good. Trula is brought in as possible an innocent victim of circumstance, to the reader thinking she's just another one off character Jughead will best to...wow. She won. And the design for Trula Twyst probably looks familiar because Lindsey used this design for a lot of one time characters. Let's see there was a girl at museum, softball player, and girlfriend to Mad Doctor Mad's sidekick, Chester. At least I think it was Chester or a handsome rip off of the guy.

Anyway, the character designs (and there's quite a few) are great, each character looks different in some way. It's just a great classic Archie art from the most underrated Archie artist. ...And kudos for the ominous wind whenever the orange door is in panel after part one. It's just super funny to me.




Trula Twyst: Easily one of my favorite supporting characters of Archie Comics. I've always considered Jughead the Bugs Bunny of Archie Comics. Trula Twyst is the tortoise or The Gremlin. A character that the usually invincible can't beat because they're just better than the main character at being clever. And she is at all time form in this story that sees her manipulate everyone at Riverdale High, with Jughead being the lynch pin to her plans, and she wins. Plays everyone like a fiddle with not a single hiccup along the way. And the thing is: she's just so witty and entertaining you're fine with it. She's smart, able to hang with Jughead in the wit department, and she is pleasant to everyone. She's just manipulative and dead set on getting her end result.

I think my favorite part in the story that shows she is a threat is at The Chocklit Shop. Jughead is pretending he wants a girlfriend and chooses Trula (hoping to make guys want to date her/unwittingly doing exactly what she wants) Jughead breaks character when he orders an oversized ice cream cone and doesn't plan to get Trula anything. Trula's response? Just break the lower part of the cone off. Closely followed is Jughead's reaction to Trula telling him she tricked him. One of the few times when Jughead is at a lost for words and loses his composure not food related. Well, until later encounters with Trula.

Each part is twelve pages and it just flows really well.




The Bad:

The Coloring: We have a few problems with the coloring in this three part story. In the first part, Trula's hair is more of a brownish red instead of just red. Also the dreaded orange door that leads to the lair of Trula Twyst...is brown until the last part of the story. I kind of understand Trula's hair because she is just introduced. But the door is said to be orange. I guess Barry Grossman decided to read the script at part three a bit better. But besides these minor problems, the typical great job from Barry Grossman.

The wait. I had to find this at an old lady's yard sale!?! What the heck, Archie Comics?! Some intern lose a box labeled "Boldman characters?" Sorry for bringing back bad memories to the furries out there. Totally insensitive on my part.

What I learned from reading:

There's always someone better than you at what you're the best at.

• Rhymatic channel surfing is a lost art. (Stupid DVRs making it easy on lazy kids these days)
• It's not how thick a thief is, but how crooked.
• Girls are way more organized than boys.
• Everyone wants what someone else has.
• Poetry reading helps move along a good nap.
• You're not paranoid if someone really is out to get you.
• Dumpsters are the best hiding spots in comics.
• Jughead dating throws off the entire universe.
• Beware of orange doors!!!

 
And there we have it. A story I've long waited to be reprinted in a digest...and end up just lucking into it. Trula seems to be a pretty popular character...so we don't we ever see more of her? I remember reading how she wasn't going to be used much, but was popular with the readers. And I can see why: good character design, her mind games set her apart from the other characters, and she's just a great nemesis for Jughead.

Why she didn't appear near the end before the reboot or even show up in the reboot? I have no idea. Best I can figure that in the end it was down to Ruiz and Parent and each had characters they preferred. Trula wasn't one of them. I'd like to say that Trula will be in the new verse one day—but I'm still wondering if Jughead has a baby sister or if Ethel exists in the Jughead book. But the thing is with Trula or any other character that isn't getting the representation we all like: there are still stories out there to find. Sure it's harder, but after all the waiting I had for this story, it made reading it more special. Of course, I'm saying that as someone who accomplished his quests so...have fun slaying your dragons, folks, I'm done! WHOOO!!



Grade: A. The worst is a few miscolorings. This is a classic story that should be read. HEAR THAT ARCHIE COMICS. ...Oh, you're busy making a one shot Jughead as a werewolf. Sorry for interrupting your important business.

And for my next review Betty and Veronica: Farewell Riverdale. Betty & Veronica 272-277  I read one part of this years back and...it wasn't good. Maybe time has aged this story like fine wine. And c'mon, I got these issues for two bucks. It's going to be hard to not be worth the money.

Right?

Right...?

 Archie in Resolution Desolation.

Page 1

Panel one: Setting is The Andrews Living Room as Archie, sitting on a couch, is writing on a piece of paper as he has his tongue sticking out to one side as he focuses on what he is writing. The paper has several puncture holes and rips in it because of how careless Archie has been as he holds it up instead of using a book to help making writing on the paper easier. Vegas is next to him juggling a doggie treat on his nose, trying to gain Archie's attention to no avail. Behind Archie, Mr. Andrews is looking on curiously.

Mr. Andrews thinking: Ah, yes, it's the day before the New Year and it looks like Archie's finally come up with his resolution.

Panel two: Archie holds up the paper in pride with both hands as Mr. Andrews looks on. Vegas is grumpily eating the dog treat as he knows he's not getting noticed and just given up on it.

Archie: I've done it! The perfect resolution to improve myself for next year!

Panel three: Mr. Andrews reads the paper as Archie cringes as he is surprised by his father.

Mr. Andrews "Always wear matching socks."

Archie: Yeep!

Page 2

Panel one: Archie stands up and motions for Vegas to give him support, but Vegas walks away and sticks his tail straight up. Mr. Andrews begins to lecture Archie.

Mr. Andrews: Well, I suppose it's better than last year's "always rewind my blu-rays" or the year before that and "I swear to never lose a freckle".

Archie: Well, um, Pop, you see...

Panel two: Mr. Andrews waves the paper at Archie as Archie shifts his nose to his left and right to avoid the left lower corner of the paper as Mr. Andrews waves the paper at his face.

Mr. Andrews: Son, I don't see why you even bother making a New Year's resolution when you make it so simple you could literally do it in your sleep!


Panel three: Archie lowers his head in shame.

Archie: I know, I know. It's just—well, I know that if I make it difficult resolution there's no way I'm going to be able to do it.

Panel four: Mr. Andrews points his finger at Archie as Archie is encouraged by his father's words.

Mr. Andrews: That's because you see the glass half empty instead of half full!

Mr. Andrews: Have you ever thought about what if you do succeed? Not only will you show inner strength but you'll be a better man each and ever year going forward!

Panel five: Mr. Andrews sticks out his chest in pride as Archie is inspired.

Mr. Andrews: Like me! I kept my New Year's resolution and I was rewarded with the greatest prize: Self-Respect!

Panel six: Archie jumps up in the air as he pumps a fist high as Mr. Andrews nods in approval.

Archie: I'll do it!!

Page 3

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is walking into the kitchen as Mrs. Andrews is washing a few dishes as she eyes him with a smile.

Mr. Andrews: Mary, I'm proud to say, I think I finally got something into Archie's head, and it looks like it may just take!

Panel two: Mary smiles as she dries a dish with a cloth as Fred becomes nervous.

Mary: Oh, I heard darling. It was riveting. Hairs on my arms stood right up.

Fred: Oh...well good.

Panel three: Mr. Andrew begins to poor himself a cup of coffee as he's right next to Mary as she puts the dish in the drainer with the rest.

Mrs. Andrews: Fred, if I remember, wasn't your resolution for this year, "lose fifty pounds"?

Mr. Andrews: It was and I did.

Panel four: Mr. Andrew mischievously smiles at Mrs. Andrews as Mrs. Andrews lets the very soapy dish water out.

Mr. Andrews: I reset the scales back each and every time before my self imposed weigh-in every four months or so.


Panel five: Mrs. Andrews playfully gives Mr. Andrews a kiss on his cheek and rubs a few bubbles on the left side of his chin as he smiles.

Mrs. Andrews: Can't argue with that logic.

Mr. Andrews: Because it's sound? Clever?

Mrs. Andrews: No. My resolution was to be more tolerant of my silly husband.

Page 4

Panel one: The setting is now The Chocklit Shoppe as Archie is taking giant strides towards Jughead, who is at the counter eating a cheeseburger. Jughead points back at Archie to Pop Tate as Pop rolls his eyes. In the background, a mother with a baby boy wearing a banner reading: 2016 is leaving as Trula Twyst, Chuck, Vic, and Maria wave goodbye to him.

Archie: Jughead!

Jughead: Hey, Pop, never mind putting this on my tab.

Pop Tate: Must be nice having a walking, talking, stumbling, fumbling, freckle faced personal bank account.

Panel two: Archie slams a piece of paper on the counter while using his other hand to hand Pop Tate several dollar bills, automatically knowing he's got to pay for Jughead's meal. Jughead has finished off the burger and is licking his mouth of sauce.

Archie: I'm challenging myself! I'm going to make a big change this coming year! A new starting point for my life!

Jughead: If you can't keep up a bi-monthly schedule, I'm not interested.

Panel three: Jughead reads the paper as Archie's bravado fades.

Jughead: "I'm only going to date Betty or Veronica."

Panel four: Jughead turns to Archie as pulls at his hair to show how conflicted he is.

Jughead: Arch, pal o' mine, this isn't a new year's resolution, this ever day of your life since you were six.

Archie: Argggh! I know! I know!

Panel five: Archie sits down next to Jughead as he looks down forlonely at the paper. Jughead holds out his hands like a scale balancing between two items of near equal weight. Jughead is licking his lips as he thinks about the invisible food in both hands.


Archie: It's just so hard to pick just one! They're both so great!

Pop Tate: Archie, when I'm deciding what to put for the special of the month, I weigh the pro and cons of each.

Jughead: I can help with that.

Archie: Yeah...that might work...

(PAGES 5 + 6  are two panels across, three down to break up the pro and cons)


Page 5

Panel one: Betty is holding Archie's hand as they are walking up to a staircase as she is eager to show Archie something as she pulls him along as they both smile at each other.

Caption: Pro: Betty loves me totally, unquestionably.

Panel two: Betty is opening the door to her room and showing off her Archie-centric decoration as she has various posters, flat heads, and pictures of Archie on the walls. A bed sheet and pillow covers with Archie's face on them. On the bed is a teddy bear modeled after Archie. Archie is looking on in shock from the door frame as Betty motions with his arms for him to come in. Archie looks on apprehensively.

Caption: Con: She can be possessive.

Panel three: Betty is holding up a little bird that has fallen from his next as Archie looks down at it sympathetically. Both are kneeling.  Behind them is the tree that extends past the panel so the reader doesn't have a clear cut idea on how tall it is.

Caption: Pro: Betty is caring.

Pane four: High angle view. Archie is climbing a fifty foot tall tree with one hand as he tries to put the baby bird back in its nest. Archie is biting on to a limb and using his free hand to stay up as his feet are dangling. Soaring at him is an angry mother bird. Betty is nearly a dot from the high angle view.

Caption:  Con: She can care too much.

Panel five: Betty and Archie are walking into The Cooper living room as Mr. Cooper is reading his paper on his chair with the TV on and Mrs. Cooper is vaccuming. Each Cooper parent waves hello to Archie.

Caption: Pro: Betty's parents like me.

Panel six: A dejected Archie looks on at the aftermath of havoc his clumsiness has caused as Mr. Cooper sadly looks down at his broken chair and the vacuum has broken in the container and sprayed Mrs. Cooper with the dirt she had collected. Also there is a giant hole in the wall and the TV is on fire Betty gives Archie a pat on his shoulder. Mr. Cooper has a thought balloon of a dollar bill with wings flying out of an empty wallet.

Caption: But they don't like having me over.


Page 6

Panel one: The setting is the beach as Veronica and Archie (Both in swim suits) are running down the shore line arm in arm as they are enjoying each other's company and having fun.

Caption: Pro: Veronica is fun.

Panel two: Archie looks over to see that Veronica is gone from his side. In the background, Veronica is surrounded by several beach hunks who are gushing over her as she happily basks in their admiration. One is offering her an ice cream while another is on his knees proposing.

Caption: Con: Veronica likes to have fun with other guys.

Panel three: A shot of Archie and Veronica in a forest with other people as they are all wearing a shirt reading SAVE THE WOODS. Archie and Veronica are handing out fliers to various people as they walk by. Archie is looking at another female volunteer handing out pins as small hearts are over his head. Veronica rolls her eyes towards Archie as she hands a small child a green frisbee.

Caption: Pro: Veronica is a lot more loving and caring than she lets on.

Panel four: An enraged Veronica is chasing Archie past the female volunteer as she has a giant tree limb over the back of her head with both arms as she plans to clobber Archie as Archie scrambles for his life.

Caption: Con: Veronica has a temper she gladly shows everyone.


Panel five: Veronica is welcoming Archie into The Lodge Mansion as he looks around at all the antiques, paintings, and high tech television as Veronica smiles proudly.

Caption: Pro: Veronica welcomes me into her home with open arms.

Panel six: Mr. Lodge is tossing Archie out of the house as Archie lands on his stomach and does a belly flop.

Caption: Con: Mr. Lodge escorts me out of his home head first.

 Archie and Jughead in Winter Christmas Double Date

Page one

Panel one: The setting is the North Pole as Noelle Claus is at the actual pole of the North Pole as she sadly looks around at all the elves as they are busy carrying toys just behind her. Jingles has an army of teddy bear toys following his orders as they march in line. Sugarplum fairy is shining Rudolph's nose with a white cloth as the other reindeers look on enviously. In the background is the candy cane gates that lead to Santa's workshop.

Noelle: Sigh.

Noelle: Dad's checking his list, the elves are loading the toys, and Rudolph is getting his nose shined up...

Noelle: ...And once again, another night without a date for Noelle Claus!

Panel two: Noelle frowns as she looks ahead.

Noelle: It sure stinks to be the only teenage girl in the north pole!

Panel three: Noelle rolls her eyes upwards as it begins to lightly snow just on her.

Voice above panel: You think you have problems, girl? Try Global Warming.

Panel three: Noelle happily looks up to see Jackie Frost riding a ice sleigh as she smiles and waves her hand to stop the snow from falling on Noelle.

Noelle: Jackie Frost!

Jackie Frost: How are you doing, Noelle? Not on your daddy's naughty list this year I hope.

Page 2

Panel one: Noelle crosses her arms around her chest as she looks back as she reflects on her day. Jackie Frost is landing on the ground right next to her.

Noelle: No. But if someone made a list of the top ten bored people in the world, Noelle Claus would be numero uno.


Panel two: Noelle playfully elbows Jackie Frost as Jackie Frost blushes.

Noelle: But enough about me—still nipping at the boys' noses?

Jackie Frost: Well, actually...

Panel three: Jackie Frost is talking as Noelle squints her left eye and tilts her head.

Jackie Frost: Just one boy in particular. I was going to Riverdale to check up on Jughead Jones.

Noelle: Jughead...? Why?

Panel four: Jackie Frost uses her magic to create a snowman and puts a carrot on it for the nose as Noelle chuckles.

Jackie Frost: What can I say? His nose reminds me of a snowman.

Noelle: Jackie, you're a certified whacko!

Panel five: Noelle talks with Jackie as Jackie uses her powers to turn the snowman into an ice sculpture of Archie.

Noelle:  know a cute guy in Riverdale. Red hair, freckles.

Jackie: Yeah, Jughead's best friend. Archie, right?

Noelle: That's the name and that's him!

Page 3

Panel one: Noelle and Jackie both put a hand on their chin as the both lower their heads as they both think

Panel two: Noelle and Jackie Frost both rolls their eyes towards the other and remove their hands to show both are grinning.

Panel three: A close-up on the happy faces of the two as they are nearly nose to nose and say the exact same thing.

Noelle and Jackie: CHRISTMAS WINTER DOUBLE DATE!!!

Panel four: Jackie and Noelle are on Jackie's sleigh as they fly into the sky and in front of the moon. On the North Pole is a note that Sugarplum Fairy and Jingles are looking up with worried expressions. Rudolph's nose is too bright as it is blinding reindeer and elf alike as he shows it off.

Jackie: Think the boys will be happy to see us?

Noelle: More than presents under the tree and full stockings on Christmas morning.

Page 4

Panel one: The setting is Pickens Park with temperature around 70.  It is the afternoon as Archie and Jughead are talking. Jughead is shivering uncontrollably as Archie looks on concerned. Nearby the three park squirrels are fanning an extremely hot penguin.

Archie: Jug, what's the matter? It's not that cold out this year.

Jughead: I sense something. An approaching evil. A dark entity. It—it chills me to the bone.

Panel two: Archie glares at Jughead as Jughead suddenly goes back to his normal self as he wipes imaginary sweat from his brow. As they talk, overhead a wind carrying several snow flakes passes over their heads.

Archie: Aw, that's a bunch of baloney.

Jughead: Baloney you say? Pop Tate has the best grilled baloney sandwiches! Then again his burgers are better. Burgers instead then!

SFX of the wind: WWEEEOOOOOO

Panel three: Archie happily turns his head as Jughead rolls his eyes.

Noelle off-panel: Hello, Archie. Guess what?  Christmas has come early this year!

Archie: Oboy!

Jughead: Oh no.

Panel four: Noelle and Jackie are standing in front of Archie and Jughead. Noelle is blowing a blue kiss to Archie as Archie goes weak in the knees and they buckle. Jackie waves a friendly hand at Jughead as Jughead frowns and turns his body away.

Noelle: How about taking us two young ladies on a double date, boys?

Archie: Guh

Jackie Frost: Is that a yes?

Jughead: No hable english.

Page 5

Panel one: A close-up on Archie's face and Jughead as they are hit with a snowball each.

Archie: What--?

SFX: PAFF

Jughead: Hey--!

SFX: PIFF

Panel two: Reggie is laughing his head off as he points and laugh at equally frustrated Jughead and Archie. Noelle and Jackie look at Reggie with contempt for interrupting their fun.

Reggie: Hyuk Hyuk! Took me hours to scrap the freezer for those snowballs but it was worth!!

Panel three: Reggie flashes Noelle and Jackie a smile as he sticks out his chest in pure bravado mode.

Reggie: Why don't you two lovely ladies dump the chumps and date the man of fate?

Panel four: Noelle and Jackie turn to each other with wicked grins.

Panel five: Jackie Frost uses her powers to arm her and Noelle with snowballs as they both look ahead with mischievous smiles from ear to ear.

Panel six: Reggie has been left pummeled with extra large snow balls as several people looking on have no idea how that happened. Archie has Noelle by the arm while Jughead reluctantly walks beside Jackie Frost as they leave the area.

Archie: I think we owe the ladies a little something.

Jughead. Yeah. Very little, like the size of a dime. Your dime specifically.

Page 6

Panel one:  The setting is the Chocklit Shoppe as Archie and Noelle is happily eating a burger as Archie watches her with a dopey expression on his face as he is completely mesmerized by her. Pop Tate looks on with a smile as he cleans a glass with a dish clouth.

Noelle: Ummm...

Noelle: This is good!

Panel two: A full shot as we can see Noelle, Archie, Jughead, and Jackie Frost sitting at the front counter of the Chocklit Shoppe. Noelle is happily eating her cheeseburger while Archie looks on; Archie has his own hamburger on his plate that he is moving towards Noelle. Jughead has a piping hot hamburger while Jackie Frost has a chocolate sundae she is eating with a small ice spoon. Jughead protests Archie giving Noelle his burger. Unknown to him, Jackie is beginning to work her magic on his burger.

Noelle: All we have at the North Pole are snow cones and candy canes! You going to eat yours?

Archie: Help yourself, snowflake.

Jughead: Hey! Archie's burgers are my burgers!

Panel three: Jughead picks up his burger and prepares to take a bite as he happily turns his attention back to his own.

Jughead: Oh well.

Panel four: Jughead bites down as he reacts like he just bit a brick as the burger has been frozen solid thanks to Jackie Frost.

SFX: CRRUNNCH

Panel five: Jughead shakes his frozen burger at Jackie Frost as Jackie Frost brushes his complaints aside as she happily continues to enjoy her sundae.

Jughead: Hey! I ordered a burger, not a TV dinner!

Jackie: It's better this way. Keeps all the taste in one spot. You'll thank me later.

Page 7

Panel one: Betty and Veronica begin to walk into the Chocklit Shop. Betty is happily talking with Veronica as Veronica looks ahead in anger.

Betty: So what do you want for Christmas this year, Ronnie?

Veronica: I'll tell you what I want right now—

Panel two: Veronica and Betty begin to storm towards Archie and Noelle as Archie has a worried expression on her face while Noelle happily finishes of the second burger and uses a napkin to clean her mouth.

Veronica: --Archie's head on a platter for talking to another girl behind our backs!

Archie: Whuh-oh.

Panel three: Veronica is yelling at Noelle as Noelle glares up at Veronica. Betty is standing beside Veronica to show her support.

Veronica: And just who do you think you are sitting next to our Archie?!

Noelle Claus: Noelle Claus. Santa Claus' daughter. And you must be leaving. Wouldn't want on the list, would you?

Panel four: Veronica and Noelle go nose to nose as they glare at each other defiantly.

Veronica: I'm Veronica Lodge. My daddy is Hiram Lodge, one of the richest men alive. I never had to worry about your father's naughty list, frostbite.

Noelle: I wasn't talking about the naughty list. I was talking about MY list. You and your friend do not want on it.

Panel five: Veronica is defiant as she tilts her nose up and strikes a pose. Betty stands next to her and does the same to show support. Noelle turns her head towards Jackie Frost as Jackie Frost begins to form a small winter wind vortex around her right hand. Archie is hiding under his seat. Jughead is licking his frozen hamburger like an ice cream bar and not paying attention to anything that is happening.

Veronica: Try us.

Betty: Yeah!

Noelle: Fine. Jackie, you happen to have a pen on you?

Jackie: Why yes I do.

Page 8

Panel one: Betty and Veronica are being chased out of the Chocklit Shop by a giant snowball.

Betty: That's Santa's daughter?!

Veronica: She must be adopted!!

Panel two: Noelle pulls Archie to his feet as she prepares to leave with him. Ahead of them, Jackie is dragging Jughead along as Jughead continues to lick his hamburger. The entire Chocklit Shoppe has frozen over with the floor now icy, tables and chairs frozen, and icicles hanging from the ceiling. Pop Tate is shaking uncontrollably and his teeth are chattering as he can't control himself.

Noelle: So what else does Riverdale have to offer, Archie?

Archie: Well, the Riverdale Cinema is just a block or two away--

Panel three: Archie, Jughead, Noelle, and Jackie Frost are walking by the Riverdale Cinema as Noelle runs to it as she pulls Archie along. Jackie Frost laughs at the two while Jughead rolls his eyes.

Noelle: A movie theater!

Panel four: Archie and Noelle are at the ticket booth as they are getting the tickets. On the wall beside the booth are two posters. One for Nova Blast: Hope Returns Again Twice (a parody of the new Star Wars movie). The other poster is Merry Christmas from the North Pole, Happy Holidays from the South Pole. The poster has a picture of a buff elf at the North Pole and a extremely beautiful Christmas fairy riding a polar bear at the South Pole.

Ticket Master: So what do you kids wanna see?

Noelle: ...You have movies that are not "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34^th Street"?


Panel five: Noelle happily jumps for joy as Archie sadly takes what few dollars he has out of his wallet. Jackie Frost is in the background asking Jughead a question as Jughead poses like a jedi knight as his response.

Noelle: Both! Let's watch both!

Archie: I wonder if Santa will put some reimbursements in my stockings?

Page 9

Panel one: Some time later as the gang leave the movie theater. Noelle is wearing 3D glasses and is thrilled with what she's seen as Archie looks at her with a smile. Behind her, Jackie Frost and Jughead have a mock light saber battle with icicles, much to the confusion of several people around them.

Noelle: Those movies where great! Who knew movies didn't have to do with holidays?

Panel two: Archie points to the nearby Pickens Park as Noelle and Jackie agree. Jughead is dismayed.

Archie: How about a walk around Pickens Park to stretch our legs after hours of sitting?

Noelle: Perfect.

Jackie: Sure.

Jughead: The flaw of democracy, people.

Panel three: Noelle and Archie walk together as Noelle looks around the park disappointed. Jughead is trying his best to walk ahead of Jackie Frost, but she keeps keeping up with him much to his dismay.

Noelle: Hm. This is nice. But walking is boring. Can we do something else?

Archie: Well, normally during winter, we get a good snow where we can build snowmen and snowball fights...

Archie: ... but the temp has been record high this time of year.

Noelle: Is that so?

Panel four: Noelle looks back at Jackie as Jackie Frost waves her hands as she prepares to work her magic.

Noelle: What do you think about that, Miss Frost?

Jackie Frost: I think therefore I am. And I am winter personified therefore...

Page 10

Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee and Ms. Grundy are walking along in Pickens Park as they are dressed in spring clothing. Ms. Grundy begins to shiver as a cold breeze blows past her.

Mr. Weatherbee: I wouldn't mind if we had weather like this all winter.

Ms. Grundy: Brrrr! Did it just get colder or is it just me?

Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee and Mrs. Grundy walk a bit further in Pickens Park as they can't believe that what the see. In an area of Pickens Park that has six inches of snow, Noelle and Archie are trying to build a snowman, but Archie trips and knocks it over as Noelle laughs at him. Jackie Frost and Jughead have their snowman done as Jughead puts his hat on top of it. Nearby a disco duck is on a small sled being pulled by the Pickens Park squirrels as he strikes John Travolta pose. The penguin from earlier is happily swimming around in the snow. Several other kids are making snow angels and throwing snowballs at each other.

Mr. Weatherbee: I've heard of isolated rain, but pin point accurate snow--?!

Panel three: Jackie Frost begins to freeze the pond as Noelle and Archie are making snow angels next to each other. Jughead is standing next to Jackie Frost as he is eating a snowcone.

Jughead: What are you up to?

Jackie Frost: Soda and milk are better ice cold, right? This will be too!

Panel four: Still at Pickens Park only the duck pond has been frozen as Archie and Noelle are slipping on the ice as Noelle tries to steady the slipping uncontrollably Archie. Jughead is casually skating by the two with a shrug shoulder as Jackie Frost looks at him impressed. Several ducks are skating across the ice along with a conga line of small children. The three squirrels have dug a small ice hole and are using an acorn as bait for a fish who looks at the acorn with disgust. The penguin is sliding along doing the king of the world pose as several ducks and geese make way and bow.

Archie: Sorry, I'm not that good of a skater!

Noelle: Really? I couldn't tell.

Jackie: Wow. I'm impressed. What's your secret?

Jughead: If I told, it wouldn't be a secret.


Page 11

Panel one: Archie, Jughead, and the girls are getting off the ice pond as the children and the animals continue to have fun behind them.

Archie: Man, this has been fun!

Noelle: Now, what should we do next?

Panel two: Noelle frowns as she knows her fun has just ended.

Voice off-panel one: How about stop what you're doing...

Voice off-panel two: ...And come home before Santa Claus worries his beard off?!


Panel three: Noelle and Jackie Frost look up Sugarplum fairy and Jingles the elf are floating above head. Sugarplum is focusing on Noelle while Jingles is pointing at Jackie. Both girls are disappointed that their fun is over.

Sugarplum fairy: Noelle, you know better than wander off without telling anyone!

Noelle: Hmph.

Jingles: And Jackie Frost, this is winter time, you have a job to do!

Jackie: I need to join a union.

Panel three: Noelle reaches inside of her coat pocket as a disappointed Archie looks on.

Archie: You really have to go?

Noelle: 'Fraid so, daddy sent his top henchmen for me, but I do have a gift for you.

Panel four: Archie has a snow globe in his hands that has a small blue doorway in it with fake snow on the ground around it.

Noelle off-panel: Here. A special snow globe. On any December day turn it upside down and right side up and I'll appear.

Archie: Cool!

Page 12

Panel one: Jackie Frost gives an unmoved Jughead a kiss on the cheek.

Jackie Frost: Maybe we'll get lucky and the groundhog will see his shadow, Jughead. How does six more weeks of winter grab you?

Panel two: Jughead begins to wipe the kiss off his face as he responds.

Jughead: Like the cold, clammy hands of death.

Panel three: Jackie walks away and waves goodbye as she blushes. Jughead's palm is stuck to his face like a tongue to a frozen metal pole in winter as he can't free it.

Jackie: Brrrr. The cold shoulder. I love it.


Panel four: High angle view as Jackie Frost and Noelle are in the ice sled as they fly off along side Sugarplum fairy and Jingles the elf. Noelle waves back at Archie as Sugarplum fairy looks on jealously. Jingles is stroking his beard and trying to impress Jackie Frost, who playfully winks at him to not hurt his feelings. Below them, Archie is waving goodbye with one arm and Jughead is waving goodbye with one hand as the other hand is still stuck to his face.

Jackie Frost whispering: So New Year is right around the corner...

Noelle Claus whispering: You read my mind, girlfriend.





MERRY CHRISTMAS

 Panel one: At the Jones Family table it is after the Thanksgiving meal with the entire table picked clean. A pork shoulder bone is on one plate, a turkey carcass on another, several empty pie and cake trays, and Jughead is gulping down the last bit of soda in a two liter bottle as Mr. Jones, Jellybean, and Mrs. Jones look on. Peeking over the edge of the table is Hot Dog.

Jughead: Gulp Gulp

Mr. Jones: Dear, I think you out did yourself, Thanksgiving dinner came and went much faster this year.

Mrs. Jones: No, he's just a growing boy.

Mr. Jones: I think we'll both need second jobs.

Panel two: Jughead walks away from the table along with Mr. Jones, carrying Jellybean away. Hot Dog has a drumstick he is happily carrying in his mouth. Mrs. Jones looks on in horror at the dishes she has to do all by herself.

Jughead: Well off to slip into my festive food coma.

Mr. Jones: Football for me.

Hot Dog: Digging holes and burying bones, it's the simple life for me!

Mrs. Jones: !!!

Panel three: Mrs. Jones angrily begins to gather plates as she comments to herself. Jughead is in the door frame as what his mother says piques his interest.

Mrs. Jones: Well, at least I don't have to worry about storing leftovers like other families!!

Page 2

Panel one: A close-up on Jughead's face as he taps his chin with his index finger.

Jughead: "Leftovers...I've heard of this word before but remember not its meaning.

Panel two: Jughead motions his hand at his mouth as he finally remembers what leftovers are.

Jughead: Now I remember! Leftovers is when you have more food than you can eat and you save it for later.

Panel three: Jughead scratches the back of his head as he begins to open the door to his room.

Jughead: Never put that concept in practice myself, but I bet most people do.

Panel four: Jughead is sitting on his bed as he slaps his fist on his open palm as he smiles.

Jughead: I know people! Lots of people!

Jughead: Hu-rah! An untapped market for me to sink my teeth into.

Panel five: Jughead begins to get drowsy as he yawns and stretches his arms.

Jughead: Yyyaaawwwn.

Jughead: And I'll get right on to it...

Panel six: Jughead falls back asleep on his bed as he begins to snore.

Jughead: ...tomorrow when I waaaakkkezzzzzzzzzzzz

Page 2

Panel one: Inside of Archie's kitchen as he is pulling out what is left over of his pecan pie.

Caption: Tomorrow.

Archie: What's left of my favorite desert in my hand...

Panel two: Archie looks over as he sees through the kitchen window Jughead's face as he has his tongue sticking out and is acting like an indoor dog that wants back inside the home.

Archie: ...And my best friend's at the door.

Archie: I know where this is going, and I'm sure I'm not going to be the one who needs to floss in the next few minutes.

Panel three: Archie opens the door as Jughead (wearing a navy blue sweatshirt) begins to sniff the air as he grabs the pecan pie as Archie gives an aside glance to the readers in an "I told you so" type manner.

Jughead: Hiya pal ol' buddy thought I'd pay a visit and....

Jughead: Say, do I smell the aroma of pecans and other provisions in cold storage?

Archie: You may.

Panel four: Jughead runs past Archie and makes a dive for the kitchen while taking the pecan pie with him.

Jughead: I will!

Archie No! Wait! I meant—

Jughead: Help myself? Don't mind if I do!

Panel five: Archie looks on in bane as Jughead has the entire pie plate at his mouth as he begins to gobble pie down as Archie looks on in disbelief. With a free hand, Jughead begins to open up the near by refridgerator.

Jughead: smak snarf yum chew

Archie: You give Black Friday a whole new meaning, Jug.

Panel six: Archie looks at Jughead as Jughead looks at his navy blue sweatshirt as Archie face palms.

Jughead: No, this is navy blue. A common mistake.

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead, picking his teeth with a toothpick is walking out of the Archie home, as an angry Archie looks on.

Jughead: Well, later, Arch. It's such a beautiful day, I think I'll (burp) visit a few of my other friends.

Panel two: Archie slams the door as he is upset Jughead ate all the pecan pie.

Archie: Around this time, most people are getting ready for Christmas—

SFX: SLAM

Archie: --But he's still got his Halloween mindset cemented in!

Panel three: Archie's eyes light up as he has a thought.

Archie: Wait...

Archie: Jughead is on a food binge and no one's refrigerator is safe! I have to warn the community or we could have a food shortage.

Panel four: Archie pulls out his cellphone as he begins to text Archie. On the cellphone is A.Andrews: Bets, j2lyk, Jug is on food binge. Watch fingers.

Archie: I'd better text Betty and warn her first.

Panel five: A close up on Archie's phone as he is surprised to see a sad smiley face designed like Betty as Betty's reply.

Panel six: Inside of the Cooper kitchen as Betty sadly looks on as Jughead is in the kitchen holding a drumstick and drinking a soda as he continues to rummage.

Jughead: Wow! Look at all these vitals.

Betty: That was going to last us for days.

Jughead: And be in the way of new food. When does your family shop for groceries again?

Page 4

Panel one: Reggie is reading a text on his phone as he has a smirk ear to ear.

Reggie: So snout nose is making a pig out of himself, huh? That works out just fine.

Panel two: Reggie is crumbling up leftover turkey meat into a taco and is pouring Uncle Blaster's Volcano sauce. The sauce is so hot, it's cooking the turkey meat and the taco.

Reggie: Far be it for me not to put a stupid animal out of my misery!

Panel three: Reggie is running out with the turkey taco as he chuckles to himself.

Reggie: Nyuk Nyuk! I'll burn his tongue so bad he'll need a taste bud transplant!

Panel four: Reggie is running up to Jughead as Jughead is casually walking down the sidewalk, barely paying Reggie any mind.

Reggie: Jughead, I want you to try out this turkey taco my mom made!

Panel five: Jughead holds a hand up to show he's passing as Reggie glares at him and shakes the turkey taco as if trying to use it to attract Jughead back.

Jughead: Pass.

Reggie: Hey! What's your problem!? My mom is an excellent cook, you gangly gastronome!

Panel six: Jughead quips at Reggie as Reggie turns red with rage as he grits his teeth.

Jughead: Nothing against your mom...but she doesn't have the best track record.

Jughead: She did make you after all.

Page 5

Panel one: Reggie runs in front of Jughead.

Reggie: Don't you talk that way about my mother!

Jughead: You're right. Your dad deserves his fair share of the blame.

Panel two: Reggie takes a bite out of  the turkey taco.

Reggie: Y'know what?! You don't deserve anything but to watch me eat this delicacy!

SFX: CRUNCH

Panel three: Reggie' face lights up bright red and flames are in his eyes to show how hot the turkey taco was.

Panel four: Reggie runs off as his entire body is lit on fire as he lets the turkey taco fly into the air with Jughead reaching to grab it.

Reggie: AAAAAAAAHHHHH

Panel five: Jughead is taking a bite out of the turkey taco to no effect as he enjoys it. In the background, Reggie is on all fours as he I drinking from Runty's water bowl as Runty looks on annoyed.

Jughead: It's okay, but could use a little cayenne to pep it up a bit.

Page 6

Panel one: Veronica is looking out a window in her mansion as she is on her cellphone. She sneers as she sees Jughead, slumped over, heading towards her door.

Veronica: Well well, looks like The Turkey that digested Thanksgiving is plodding my way.

Veronica: ...Archiekins, I have nothing but the best intentions for dear sweet Juggie.

Panel two: Jughead is preparing to knock on the door as he is thinking what to say.

Jughead thinking: "So, Ronnie, you're looking lovely today, wanna celebrate the miracle?"

Jughead thinking: No, that's more an Ethel conversation starter...

Panel three: Veronica opens the door as she feigns being happy to see Jughead.

Veronica: Am I glad to see you!!

Jughead: You've gone blind?

Panel four: Veronica is dragging Jughead inside as she leads the way.

Veronica: Only you can help me out of my predicament!

Jughead: You're blind and doomed. How the mighty have fallen.

Panel five: Veronica opens the door to the Lodge banquet hall as it is filled with thanksgiving leftovers. Jughead looks on with his tongue sitting out and his eyes open.

Veronica: My family hasn't the space for all the leftover food from the Thanksgiving banquet. I suppose we'll have to throw it all in the trash unless...

Panel six: A small panel of Jughead rushing ahead as Veronica gives the reader an aside glance.

Jughead: Okay, I'll help, but you owe me big for this.

Veronica thinking: Oh that's why I'm doing this.


Page 7

Panel one: Jughead is beginning to eat a giant piece of cake as he reaches for a left over turkey wing as he happily eats.

Jughead: Gaston's pastries, his Michelin star turkey stuffing, and the flock of the bird of yesterday! What more can a guy with an appetite for culinary ask for?!

Panel two; Jughead has his jeans unbelted as his stomach is pooched out as he leans back in his chair as he strains to eat the bite of food he is chewing. On the banquet table, 3/5^th of the massive food remains.

Caption two hours later.

Jughead: Hn. My stomach and brain are telling me to stop. Don't think they've ever agreed before.

Jughead: (burp). It's unanimous.

Panel three: Jughead tries to get up as Veronica is holding a bowl of pudding with a spoon in it as Jughead tries to wave her off.

Veronica: But you haven't even tried the vanilla pudding with a dash of lavender.

Jughead: I never thought I would say this, but this one, food is like women: I've had enough of both for the day.

Panel four: Veronica shoves a spoonful of food into Jughead's mouth as Jughead's eyes bulge out as he falls back in his chair. Smithers and another male servant are walking towards Jughead.

Veronica: Oh but I insist!

Jughead: Bluurrrrhhh

Panel five: Veronica looks on as Smithers pries Jughead's mouth open as the other servant begins slide a tray of yams into his gullet.

Jughead: Ronnie! Please! I can't eat anymore! I'm full!!

Veronica: You can never fill up a bottomless pit.

Veronica: Gentleman, make sure he licks the plates clean.

Page 8

Panel one: The Jones family is at the kitchen table as she has prepared chicken legs and corn on the cob.

Mr. Jones: Jughead, hasn't come back for dinner? It's not like him to miss his fifth meal of the day.

Mrs. Jones: Well, we can't wait forever for him.

Panel two: The Jones Family looks on in surprise at what they see off-panel.

Jughead: Actually, I'm not too hungry right now.  I was thinking on waiting on the food and have it a little later.

Jughead: It's called something....it's right on the tip of my tongue...


Panel three: The Jones family is surprised to see a ballooned up Jughead (looking three hundred pounds heavier) walking into the room as he puts his hand over his mouth. Jellybean pushes her food away form her, afraid she'll look like Jughead if she eats. Mr. and Mrs. Jones jaws are dropped. Hot Dog is shaking his head at Jughead.

Jughead: Leftovers. That's the word.

Hot Dog: I have a word for you.



Hot Dog: Liposuction.





THE END.


The End.

 Black Friday Frenzy

Page 1


Panel one: The setting is Betty Cooper driving her car with Veronica in the passenger seat as she uses a car mirror to fix her hair and admire her lip stick.

Betty: I really appreciate you coming with me, Veronica. The best deals are on Black Friday, but—I have trouble getting anything. I could use the help.

Veronica: Think nothing of it, Betty. It'll be fun watching you forage around for your discount DVDs, half off blouses and such and such.

Panel two:  Betty is talking with Veronica as Veronica arrogantly waves her off.

Betty: I don't think you know how hard it is too shop on Black Friday, Ronnie.

Veronica: I go to the most extravagant of boutiques where the cream of the crop scratch and claw for the best of the best.

Veronica: This is just a fun little divesion.

Panel three: A shot of Betty Cooper as she has a sly smile as she points ahead. Veronica's eyes widen and her eyes drop at what she sees.

Betty: This is you're idea of a diversion.

Veronica: !!!

Page 2 +3

Panel one: A large panel showing Bal Mart as the Cooper car pulls into the parking lot as the entire parking lot is crammed with cars, with every space full. One angry man is shaking his fist at two kids who are taking their time on the cross walk. Two cars have pulled in and got in each others way for a parking spot. The main entrance to Bal-Mart is clogged with people who tried to go in all at once. A Bal-Mart employee is protesting alone as he has a sign reading: THE LONE MAN PROTEST!!! A small old lady with a 50 inch TV in her shopping cart and a fat guy with a Turkey Roaster are racing down a parking lane. A car driving along the parking lot is waving the white flat. A man is struggling to fit his TVs, DVDs, and various cooking appliances into his trunk. At another section of the parking lot, A husband angrily waits for his wife as she cannot get out of her side of the car because the car next to her has a group of people just chatting the day away. The wife gives her husband a "what can I do?" shrug. A security guard is chasing after a woman wearing an overcoat bursting with jewelry and necklaces. A car barely puts the brake on as a kid runs out in front of him; the kid's mother is rushing over to grab him. The kid is playing with an action figure to notice what almost happened. Across the street is a C-Mart where a few cars have parked with the people crossing the street to get to Bal-Mart as a sad C-mart employee points to their building, but is ignored by everyone. Traffic if is blocked because of the lines of people just casually crossing the street to get to Bal-Mart.

Panel two: Veronica looks out her side of the window as two angry middle age men are ramming their shopping carts at each other as a Bal-Mart attendant rushes to stop them.

Veronica: It's like Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons fighting over shiny stones!

Panel three: Betty looks over and grins at Veronica and gently nudges her with her elbow.

Betty: Still up to helping me forage?

Panel four: Veronica folds her arms and scowls as she gets her game face on as Betty is surprised.

Veronica: Park the car, give me your list, and stay close to me or you will not survive.

Page 4

Panel one: Betty and Veronica walk inside as they are in between where the carts are stationed and the actual area of the store. In front of them several people are fighting over carts. One man is trying to separate his cart from three others as his wife rolls his eyes at him. Two high school teenage boys are having a tug of war over a cart as they both pull with all of their might.

Betty: Wow! This is even crazier than last year! People are fighting tooth and nail over the shopping carts!

Panel two: Veronica walks past Betty as Betty looks on confused. Veronica has a fake smile on her face and is flipping her hair back.

Veronica: Good. They're not using the right weapons.

Betty: What are you...?

Veronica: Just watch.

Panel three: Veronica swerves her body and winks at the teens as they have hearts over their eyes.

Veronica: My, what wondrously gallant men! If only one of you could help me and my blond friend retrieve a cart.

Panel four: Veronica is wheeling the shopping cart inside as she has a triumphant smile on her face as a morally opposed Betty follows beside her. In the background the two love stuck teens both have lipstick kisses on a face cheek as they look on. As Betty and Veronica go in a Bal-Mart greeter is checking a foot long list receipt as a man with two filled to the brink shopping carts texts on his phone. The Bal-Mart mascot (A red ball with black arms and legs with white gloves and white sneakers) is being chased by a junior high basketball team. The Bal-Mart mascot has a paper with 20% off taped to his back causing his trouble.

Betty: Ronnie, that was a little sneaky, wasn't it?

Veronica: Yes. Just a little sneaky compared to what else I'll have to do.

Page 5

Panel one: Betty and Veronica looks ahead as in front of her are various shoppers with carts as they are zooming every which way with several colliding with each other. A man barely avoids being run down by a gang of old people on motorized carts. A small boy is carrying a super hero action figure three times his size.

Betty: Maybe we can go around?

Veronica: No. We're going through.

Betty: How? Look at all this traffic!

Panel two: Veronica lowers her head and grips the cart handle like she were a race car driver as she looks ahead with a fierce, determined, devil may care grin.

Veronica: Like General Sherman told the people of Atlanta, "Leap, follow, or get out of my way!"

Betty: What does that mean--?

Panel three: Veronica dashes ahead as she cuts off a fat man in his motorized cart who is eating a bag of Doritos and drinking mountain dew as he spills his drink on himself. A small child barely dodges Veronica, and as Veronica goes she uses one hand to stiff arm a body builder. Betty looks on in shock at Veronica's actions.

Veronica: THIS!

Panel four: Betty runs along as she looks back at the fat man who is licking his shirt as he scowls towards Betty, the kid who sticks out his tongue, and the body builder who is crying that he got over powered by a teenage girl as a nearby sumo wrestler laughs at him.

Betty: Sorry!

Betty: Sorry!

Betty: Really sorry!

Panel five: Betty has caught up with Veronica as Veronica continues to dash ahead with ruthless aggression. Behind the two a ten cart pile up has happened with various men and women covered in clothing, jewelry, dvds, shoes, and their shopping carts. Betty looks back and continues to apologize.

Betty: We're really sorry!! I swear, she's a pleasant person!! Don't think ill of her!!

Page 6

Panel one: Betty and Veronica are in the women's clothing section as Betty begins to scold Veronica as Veronica just ignores her. Behind them, a seven foot tall woman is holding up a blouse in the air so a four foot tall woman cannot get it.

Betty: I can't believe you did that!

Veronica: I am but what circumstances make of me.

Panel two: Betty continues to talks with Veronica as Veronica smirks.

Betty: "Circumstances make of me"! You almost ran over some nice old lady!

Veronica: Circumstantially, she should not have been in my way—

Panel three: Veronica turns to talk frankly with Betty.

Veronica: --And that was not a nice old lady! There is no "nice" person in this building! Everyone is cutthroat and out for themselves!

Panel four: Betty boldly replies as Veronica rolls her eyes.

Betty: I'm a nice person!

Veronica: And that's the problem...

Panel five: Veronica turns and points at the four foot woman who is standing over the unconscious seven foot woman while admiring her recently won blouse. Betty is still adamant in morals and ethics and she rolls her eyes as Veronica goes on her charade.   Blasting past Betty are two shoppers grind their carts wheels together, creating sparks as they dash by.

Veronica: You're not going to get anything you want on Black Friday if you try to be noble and kind!

Veronica: You fight fire with napalm! They push and shove, you punch and kick! They start a fight, you give them a war!


Page 7

Panel one: Betty and Veronica continue on their way as Veronica rolls her eyes in frustration.

Betty: Look, most of what I'm buying is Christmas presents! I just don't want them tarnished.

Veronica: Just wrap them nicely enough and no one will care...

Panel two: Betty and Veronica are in the female jeans, shirt, and dress section as various females of all ages are climbing over each other, fighting, and tugging at piece of clothing they want for themselves. Along the aisles are signs reading: 75% off, 90%, and finally PLEASE NO FATALITIES THIS YEAR!!! A Bal-Mart worker backs away as he wants no part in this. Betty shrugs her shoulders as she points at her wrist at an imaginary watch while Veronica waves her off.

Betty: Huh. I guess we have to wait.

Veronica: Waiting is for the poor and destitute! I'm a Lodge! Lodges do not wait; Lodges lead the way!

Panel three: Veronica pulls her cart and Betty to the side as she begins to yell at the top of her lungs.

Veronica: JUST IN! SHOES 50% OFF, SECOND PAIR 25 DOLLAR DISCOUNT!!

Panel four: Veronica proudly looks on as all the female shoppers dash the other way with their carts as they head for the shoes. The Bal-Mart worker is caught in the middle like a cowboy in a stampede as he gets battered by shopping carts and shopping bags. A worried Betty looks on in concern as Veronica waves him off.

Veronica: Now we'll have pick of the bunch and no one got hurt.

Betty: What about him?

Veronica: He works here. He doesn't count as a person.

Page 8

Panel one: Veronica and Betty are continuing their shopping as the shopping cart has a few pair of shoes, blouses, shirts, and jeans as Veronica boastfully points out her success while Betty folds her arms and looks on with discontent.

Veronica: You only have a few things left and we'll be successfully—thanks to me.

Betty: Whatever.

Panel two: Veronica looks over and glares at Betty as Betty turns her head away.

Veronica: Are you still riding your high horse?

Betty: Are you still acting like a donkey?

Panel three: Veronica moves aside and motions for Betty to walk ahead.

Veronica: That does it! If you think sunshine and rainbows will get you what you want in this den of greed, go for it!

Betty: I will!

Panel four: Betty begins to walk up behind a crowd as they are all gathered at a purse display where everything is 80 percent off. The ladies in the crowd are all bunched up and pushing and elbowing each other. One thirty year old woman crawls out from under the crowd as she is bruised, battered, missing a front tooth, and has a badly tore purse as her prize.

Betty: Wow! That would be perfect for Polly!

Page 9

Panel one: Betty tries to squeeze through as the ladies refuse to budge one inch for her.

Betty: Excuse me...

Betty: Pardon me...

Panel two: Betty gets her foot stomped on by a middle age woman.

Middle age woman: Back off, princess!

Betty: Ow!

Panel three: Another woman grabs Betty by her pony tail and pulls her back.

Another lady: Go find a dollie! This is for adults!

Betty: Hey--!

Panel four: Betty is pushed back out of the crowd as she looks dejectedly at her ruined hair scrunchie as her hair is now covering her eyes.

MOVE

MINE

NO MINE

TAKE THAT

Panel five: Betty balls up her fist that was holding the hair scrunchie while using her other hand to brush the hair out of her eyes to show her with eyes filled with rage and anger.

Page 10

Panel one: Veronica is off to the side as she is watching two women fight over a coat.

Veronica: Well, it shouldn't be too much longer before Betty comes crawling back to me, begging for my help.

Panel two: Veronica turns her head as she hears a voice screaming.

Betty off-panel: WHO ELSE WANTS SOME!!?

Veronica: Betty--?!

Panel three: Veronica dashes over with her shopping cart as she sees Betty going on a rampage as she is twirling around a purse and chasing off all the other female shoppers as they act like Jason Vorhees is after them. The two women who stomped on Betty's foot and pulled her ponytail are holding their heads as pain stars are over them as they dash away in fear.

Betty: This purse is 60 % percent off, but it will cost you 100 % of your life, if you try to take it from me!!

Panel four: Veronica begins to walk towards Betty as Betty snarls and scowls at her. Veronica has her palms forward to show she is no threat.

Veronica: Betty, it's me, Veronica. I need you to calm down, stop foaming at the mouth, and let's just put the purse down...

Panel five: Betty gets right in Veronica's face and screams at her!

Betty: Put it down!! I'm keeping it!! I fought for it!!

Veronica: oookay....

Page 11

Panel one: Veronica tries to calm Betty down as Betty clutches the purse close to her body like a mama bear would a cub to protect it.

Veronica: Betty, you've just had a bit of shopping rage. This isn't you, this isn't how you go about things.

Panel two: Betty points the purse at Veronica as Veronica's eyes widen as she realizes she helped push Betty to this point!

Betty: No! This is how I should be! What you did works absolutely!

Betty:  Napalm! Punch and kick! War!

Veronica: Perhaps, I did do a few questionable acts and said those words but...but--

Panel three: Veronica has a thought balloon of all that she has done, ramming carts, tricking the two teen boys, and watching the Bal-Mart employee get run over by shoppers, (all drawn more cartoonie) as Veronica's eyes widen as she realizes that she holds some responsibility for Betty going on a rampage.

Panel four: Veronica takes the scrunchie from Betty's hand as Betty begins to calm down.

Veronica: I was wrong, Betty. Sure everyone around is acting like animals, but we shouldn't stoop to their level. We're better than that.

Veronica: I'd wager my inheritance that nearly everyone else here is buying something for themselves. But not you. You're thinking of others. Don't stop doing that.

Panel five: Betty calms down and smiles weakly at Veronica as Veronica is fixing her ponytail.

Veronica: We'll just hang back and let the horde work themselves out the rest of the way. We have each other for company so it shouldn't be too bad.

Betty: ...Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Panel six: Betty is pushing the cart as Veronica walks beside her as several of the other customers at Bal-Mart look on with admiration.

Customer one: ...It's shameful how we've all be acting.

Customer two: You're right. Why should this day be any different? Just a few discounts here and there.

Customer three: I'm going to tell everyone about those girls!

Page 12

Panel one: The Bal-Mart manager is standing with the Bal-Mart greeter as they look at the lines going inside and out. People going inside are acting wild and crazy as they race and push and pull to get in while the customers leaving are calm and orderly.

Bal-Mart manager: I've never seen anything like it. They come in wild and uncontrollable...

Bal-Mart Manager: ...And then the shop all calm and collected like it was another day. Never seen a Black Friday like it.

Panel two: The Bal-Mart Greeter waves goodbye to Betty and Veronica as she continues to talk with the Bal-Mart Manager. The cart has maybe around six or seven plastic bags filled. Veronica has her cell phone out and is preparing to take a selfie with Betty before they leave as the Bal-Mart mascot runs up behind them.

Bal-Mart greeter: What do you attribute it to?

Panel three: Veronica holds out her arm and begins to take a selfie with Betty as the Bal-Mart mascot gets in on the act and puts his arms around the two's shoulders. In the background, the Bal-Mart manager shrugs his shoulders as he really has no idea who is responsible.

Bal-Mart Manager: This change in attitude had to start somewhere. I might never know who is responsible—

Bal-Mart Manager: --But I like to believe that whomever it was, they had a fun shopping experience—and hopefully they'll be back next year!!

THE END.

 Yeah. Finally caught up and sorta with everyone else for once! Won't be harder to do now since, apparently—BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA GOT CANCELED!!
So that leaves me Back to the Future, Archie, Puppet Master, Super Suckers and TMNT. The last one I'm thinking of dropping because as big as a fan and as a great admirer of taking your time to tell a story—GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!!!

Sorry, I'm upset about eating my aunt's food and being sick for two days (Food poisoning< Hurting her feelings).  I should only take my anger out on the comic I am reviewing.

Last time A jerk teacher/Betty's Uncle/some like him some don't guy (Yeah, you know who's side I'm on.) yelled at Archie and caused a controversy that Mr. Lodge took advantage of. Riverdale is out one strict teacher and candidate for mayor and half the school hates Archie and Veronica. Where does this leave our heroes?

MUSIC BATTLE!!!


What I liked.

Mark Waid. Y'know back in the days of Kurt Busiek, Scott Lobdell, and Fabian Niciez, I always pegged one of them to be still in the main stream kicking. And while they all are around, Mark Waid is the guy you see in DC, Marvel, Archie. And for good reason, the guy is good at whatever he does. He has done a great job with the reboot of Archie. Archie is still his innocent self and when he has a jerk moment, it's brief with good explanation. And I love the story format, it's like a Disney show or Saved by the Bell for people my age...very young. This issue was just a really fun comic in an age where fun comics are few and far between. Each issue has its own cute little charm. Like Veronica only being able to sing well while looking at Archie, the posters rotating behind Archie, and Betty channeling her inner Taylor Swift. And you still have a tender moment at the end and a tease a what might lie ahead. Great job.
 
Thomas Pitilli and Ryan Jampole and a few colors and letters. Veronica Fish is gone. And I liked her art. A lot, but I hope that everyone gives two dudes a chance. Honestly, the only work I've seen from either is Jampole from his Mega Man work, so I was optimistic. And I was rewarded. For the most part, all the characters are recognizable and I really like the body language and facial expressions. It's just a very well done job. One thing I'd like to mention: his crowds. I appreciate how he drew them because he drew them with the same no eyes, mouth. I always hated it when you'd have one or two be detailed and the rest not. Yeah, it's a pet peeve of mine. And the coloring for the issue was great. Love the band stuff on stage and Ronnie singing. And the lettering with Betty going insane on the drum.
 

The Bad.

Few art problems. I didn't really like how Moose was drawn. When I looked at him, I thought "Kevin Keller" I think he needs to be taller and more muscular. Also on one page while Archie and Jug were talking Archie's chin looked weird and that brought back memories...horrible, terrible memories where heads morphed and never looked the same panel to panel!! AAAHHH--!!
 

Maybe a little consistency? This is more of a critique on the Reboot books. I've always believed that every writer has their own interpretation and continuity with the characters, but the dispositions of them remain the same so a reader wouldn't be thrown off. If you're a new reader and pick up Archie, Jughead, and Betty and Veronica you will be thrown off a bit. Jughead is a quiet, laid back or is he manic and wild. Betty is super nice, Betty cusses, Betty is mean. I just think that that there are few things that could be worked out by editorial to make the flow from title to title better.
 

Toni Topaz. Why won't you leave me alone!! You were on every digest cover for a gazillion years...and now you have no personality or even look interesting anymore. This is all Fernando Ruiz' fault. I'll never forgive him for this. NEVER!! All Archie needs is to get Bendis and Rob Liefield to make a Toni Topaz book to finish there drawn out plan of driving me insane.
 

I have no idea who the guy and girl are in The Ronnies. We couldn't put in a secondary character like Trula Twyst in the band? Seriously, I'll take what I can get at this point. I'm really going to miss BTiLC and I could use something—ANYTHING!! Weep weep.
 
What I learned from what I read.

You can sing like a star if you're looking at the person you love.

• Toni Topaz is more Rhianna and less Jughead in this universe.
• Tambourines are still stupid.
• Flute solos last around fifteen minutes.
• How nice you are depends on proximity to Archie.
• Betty channels Taylor Swift.
• People still can't spell "tonight" correctly in Archie comics.
• Whew! I thought the Riverdale High School Talent Contest would be on my birthday again this year.
• That only I appreciate the jugglery mastery of Zip Trezerky.
• I thought I was tolerant of all people...but Sayid glaring at Archie and Betty gave me this urge to call the authorities.

 
Another great issue. And like I said, I appreciate a comic that is fun for fun's sake. I love the flow of the story, the art is good, and we're left wondering what is next. The entire creative team has done a great job and this remains one of the best books on the market. It's an easy A-.

Well, I should be able to keep up with the title now since I'm down one of my very few comics. So hopefully more reviews to come. So until next time.

 Part I





Page one:

Caption: At the outer edge of The Milky Way Galaxy.


Panel one: A shot of a scout ship as it begins to set off a tractor beam into a nearby asteroid field. The ship is spiral shaped with two massive propulsion engines to the right and left side of the ship that is losing power. The tractor beam is coming out of the tip of the space ship. At the bottom of the ship an opening is let out for various triangular space probes to reenter.

Inside of scout ship: Conqueror Lrak this is Scout Ship 45Z reporting.

Inside of the scout ship: Our search in this desolate region of the universe has only identified one known planet in the nearby galaxy as inhabiting sentient life--

Panel two: Inside of the space ship we see a blue skinned alien wearing black and purple space armor with similar looking crew kneeling down at  a distorted hologram of a larger four armed, seven foot tall alien with a dog like appearance. Lrak looks on with all four arms crossed over his massive chest as his eyes glow bright red that somehow overpower the grey and blue hologram. Exact details of Conqueror Lrak are hidden by the blue and grey lighting of the hologram. Inside of the scout ship we see various panels and high tech computers that are just barely running thanks to the tractor beam use.

Alien: Lord, given how far away this one planet is from the empire and the time and energy it would take to travel...and our ship is already running low on power ...

Alien: ...May I recommend that...

Panel three: Conqueuor Lrak turns his head slightly as he shows off his fanged teeth smiling wickedly as his answer as the other alien cowers and lowers his head as he shakes.

Alien: Y-yes...

Alien: Yes, Conqueror Lrak. The challenge of worth shall begin at once--

Panel four: A close-up on a nearly 300 foot wide asteroid being repulsed by the scout ship as it shatters much smaller asteroids and space debris as it rockets at astonishing speed as it heads out for the targeted destination giving off heat and green repulse ray energy.


Inside of battleship: Prove your worth to be conquered by surviving, blue and green planet of the terrains....

Inside of battle ship: ...For the challenge to your champions comes now!!


Page 2

Panel one: A high angle view of Explorer Mountain as it surrounded by a forest and a nearby lake.

Caption: Explorer Mountain. Riverdale, USA. Earth.

Gizmo inside: Computo, security scans and global alarms detect nothing?

Explorer Supercomputer inside of the Explorer Mountain: Confirmed, Creator: Gizmo. Scans show no immediate threats. Systems operating at 100%.  Begin monitoring remote orbital satellites?

Gizmo: Please do as I finish...YES!

Panel two: Inside of Explorer Mountain's control room as Gizmo is just now closing a panel to the Explorer Super Computer as he looks over at his Explore Wristband. The super computer itself is oval shaped with various 3D icons representing the individual Explorers. Red Andrews is represented with the color red rope, Angel with pink wings, F/X with a camera, Nitro with a stick of dynamite, Wheels with a car, and Squint with a motorcycle. Gizmo himself is represented by a brain with glasses on. The super computer has a map of the United States showing where each Explorer is by icon. Red and Angel are in Florida, Wheels and F/X are in Riverdale, Spike is in Riverdale not too far off, as is Gizmo only his is below the other two icons, Squint and Nitro are in Las Vegas.


Gizmo: The warning alert in the Explorer wrist bands are performing at optimal level and with the adjustments to the security protocol and new transference module, the unique signal each wristband constantly emits can be used to home in on each Explorer securely!

Panel three: Gizmo is wiping his brow with a handkerchief as he looks up towards the Wheels and F/X icons on the monitor as he obviously would rather be with them (more specifically Wheels).

Gizmo: Sigh, maybe next I'll invent a software to help socially awkward geniuses communicate with girls....

Panel four: The entire control room of Explorer Mountain goes bright red as Computo, the Explorer Supercomputer, and various alarms around Gizmo activate. On a monitor is a simple showing of the universe with a dot rocketing past Jupiter and heading directly towards Earth. Gizmo presses a button on his Explorer Wrist band as he rolls up his sleeve.


Computo: DANGER! Space probe 25 stationed on Jupiter's 22nd moon orbit has detected approaching threat!! Immanent Doom Probability calculating.

Computo: Calculation: Total destruction of Earth 99.9 percent

Gizmo: By Jove, I might not get the chance!

Page 3

Panel one: A shot of Riverdale First National Bank as police have lined up their cars and set up barricades to keep the crowd isolated as they monitor the bank. In the crowd we can see various reporters and camera man as they report live on the scene.

Inside the bank: Arggh! How did all of these cops show up!?

Panel two: Inside of the bank, three ski masked wearing robbers holding laser guns are in the center of the bank as civilians and bank tellers are lined up, sitting on the ground. In the middle of the civilians is an old African American who is winking at the eight year old boy next to her to try and show him that everything will be fine. One mask robber is heading for the old lady to pull her up. Near the first bank robber are five bags of money with various dollar bills poking out of one bag.

Robber two: We should have known this job was a bust when that new guy O'Brien never showed! Probably ratted on us!

Robber three: Yeah, well, I say we get what we got—

Panel three: The third robber begins to grab at the old African America lady as she sneers at him.

The third robber: --And we take us a hostage and get as far as we can get! And I say age before beauty!

Panel four: The robber pulls his hand up suddenly as he has pulled off the old woman's white hair/wig as his eyes go wide in alarm.

Old lady off panel: And I say, you need to respect your elders!

Panel five: The bank robber is hit with an uppercut from the old lady that knocks him off of his feet. We can see just enough of the fist to show that it definetly doesn't belong to any old lady.

Old lady off panel:  For obvious reaons!

POW

Robber Three: URK!

Page 4

Panel one: The bank robber lands unconscious to the ground as the other bank robbers rush to him. To the right of the panel we can see the dress the lady was wearing beginning to come off, landing right next to a white haired wig as various hostages look on with shock. The boy smiles from ear to ear as he recognizes who is saving them.

Robber 1: Wow! That's a tough grannie!

Robber 2: That's not an old lady! That's one of the Explorers of the Unknown! That's—

Panel two: F/X is standing up as he adjusts his cloak and peeling away the old lady face make-up as he greets the robbers with a confident smile.

F/X: F/X!

F/X: Master of special effects, disguise, and illusions amongst my other talents!

Panel three: F/X squints an eye as his voice changes to an Irish accent.

F/X: Iffin' ya known me talents, I might have been more then a look out, me bucko.

Robber two: That—That voice! That Irish accent! That's O'Brien!

Panel four: The robbers point their laser guns at F/X as presses a crest on his cloak and begins to disappear from sight to the amazement of the hostages. Save for one hostage who tucks his head between his knees.

Robber one: Well, smart guy, we've got our weapons set right on you.

F/X: Then I better not be seen.

Panel five: The robbers twist their heads ever which way as F/X is throwing his voice all around the room, confusing them as they begin to stagger and become unnerved. One voice seems to be coming from a bank teller as she clamps her mouth shut with both hands.

Roof: Now where am I?

Just above bank teller: Nope.

To the right corner of the bank: Here's some advice: Throw your guns down or I'll throw you around more than I'm doing with my voice!

Page 5

Panel one: The robbers begin to run out of the bank as the shadow of a net is beginning to cover them as they leave and look back behind them. Each robber has a sack of money in their nonlaser gun holding hand.

Robber two: Forget this! I'd rather blast my way through the cops than deal with a guy like that!

Panel two: The net falls and wraps around the bank robbers as F/X reappears just in front of the robbers as he looks up in the sky.

F/X: Can't have that.

F/X: And there are worse things out here for you—

Panel three: A shot in the sky as the Explorer Jet is beginning to uncloak. F/X waves a hand to signal a job well done. Various officers and people in the crowd look on in awe. Inside of the jet we can see Wheels blushing as she can't help but smile.

F/X: --Like the master piloting skills of the lovely Wheels Cooper!
'
Wheels: Hi from up high.

Panel four: Wheels is looking at the monitor in front of her as she talks with F/X through her own wristband. On the dash of the jet is a picture of an eight year old Wheels in aviator gear as her parents stand proudly next to her. Next to that picture is one of Red Andrews. On a nearby monitor just to her left is an Explorer Alert with the icon of Explore Mountain flashing.

Wheels' wristband: Say, how about we give the people a bigger show? Maybe a swoop and loop the loop?

Wheels: Sounds like a kick, but we've got an Explorer Alert Epson!

Panel five: The Explorer Jet is zooming off in the distance as we can see a rope ladder extended out as F/X begins to climb on it. The officers are arresting the robbers. The police are dragging out the unconscious third robber who is still seeing stars from his thrashing. One police officer is looking at the high tech laser gun of one of the robbers. Another is pointing a brand on the laser gun that shows a steel bar door with a halo above it


Officer: Where are these low rent punks getting this high tech artillery..!?

Officer two: And what's this logo here all about?

Page 6

Panel one:  The setting is Pickens Park as another crisis is in process A seven foot tall nearly five hundred pounds of pure muscle masked wrestler is holding up a three hundred pound man like he was a rag doll as various people scatter and run away from the behemoth. The wrestler—Man Mountain Monster—is wearing red and black tights with a red mask with a fang design as if it were about to clasp closed over his eyes. He has a bushy beard that goes all the way to his hairy chest. In the background we can see that the statue of General Pickens has been smashed into debris by Man Mountain Monster.

Man Mountain Monster: They say Man Mountain Monster is too dangerous for professional wrestling! They say Man Mountain Monster is too vicious, too uncontrollable! 

Panel two: Man Mountain Monster puts the man face to face with him as the man looks like he's about to cry as he is scared out of his mind as Man Mountain Monster yells right at his face, spit covering the man's face as MMM yells.

Man Mountain Monster: WHAT DO YOU SAY?!!

Panel three: The man answers as he tries not to cry as Man Mountain Monster looks over at the reader with an angry snarl

The Man: ...I don't like professional wrestling...!

Panel four: Man Mountain Monster hurls the man with as much velocity as possible as the man is screaming as he is coming at the reader.

Man Mountain Monster: YOU'RE GONNA NOT LIKE IT A LOT MORE!!

Man: AAAHHHH

Page 7

Panel one: The Man is about to hit a tree when a muscular figure leaps into action.

Muscular figure: Duh, thank goodness for all my stunt work and training—

Panel two: The red and white suited man catches the man as the man's body covers up Spike's face from the reader.

Spike: --And that I happen to like walks in the park!

Panel three: We still only see up to the chest of Spike as he begins to put the man back on his feet.

Spike: You okay?

Man: Yeah, barely. That masked guy is nuts he—

Man: Wait a minute! You're one of them Explorers! You're—

Panel four: The man points at Spike who is now in full view for the reader as Spike politely smiles back as he tries to be humble.

Man: You're Spike! Stunt man and the muscle of The Explorers of The Unknown!

Spike: Shucks, I'm just an average Joe in a suit that magnifies his strength by ten!

Page 8

Panel one: Man Mountain Monster begins to charge at Spike as Spike softly pushes the man aside with one hand as he prepares to do battle with Man Mountain Monster. Man Mountain Monster is foaming at the mouth and his legs and feet are powerful enough to dig up dirt and rock as he rampages ahead. Man Mountain Monster has both of his hands clamped over his head as he prepares to double axe handle Spike into the ground.

Man Mountain Monster: Outside interference! For that, I'll knock your head outside of this time zone!

Panel two: Spike grabs each one of Man Mountain Monster's fists as he strains and is pushed back several feet and his feet dig into the ground as he tries to keep his footing steady.

Man Mountain Monster:  GRRAAAAHHH

Panel two: Spike begins to push back at Man Mountain Monster, much to Man Mountain Monster's surprise.

Man Mountain Monster: Wha--?!You blocked the Two Fists of Eternal Pain and Torment??!

Man Mountain Monster: No one is stronger than Man Mountain Monster!! No one!!

Panel three: Spike is beginning to lift Man Mountain Monster over his head to body press him.

Spike: Funny thing about saying you're the strongest or something like that...

Panel four: Spike slams Man Mountain Monster to the ground, creating a small crater in the shape of Man Mountain Monster's body.

Spike: Someone just a bit better comes along and puts you in your place!!

THWAM

Page 9

Panel one: Spike is standing over the unconscious body of Man Mountain Monster as he lets out a sigh of relief. Spike's wrist band begins to alert. Several people in the park are gathering around the combatants. Several have their phones out and taking pictures. Two women are blushing as they gaze at Spike. The man who had to put up with MMM's treatment is making faces at the unconscious masked wrestler.

Spike: Holey Moley! Wresters sure are temperamental actors!

Panel two: Spike is talking into his wristband as he holds it up to his mouth.

Spike: Something wrong, little buddy?

Wristband: And how! Make your way back to Explorers Mountain! I'll elucidate the particulars of our dilemma!

Panel three: Spike begins to run out of Pickens Park as the people in the park cheer him on. The two women sadly wave goodbye while a six year old boy is in front of them and is pretending to be Spike as he strains to lift a small tree branch over his head.

Spike: Uh-oh! The bigger the words I don't know, the bigger the trouble!

Page 10

Panel one: A shot of Las Vegas with various Casinos. Various neon lights and signs have various Archie characters like Super Duck and Cosmo and whatever character you'd like. The focus of the panel is on The Red Circle Casino with a neon red flashing circle. On a nearby sign a heading reading: SQUINT, MASTER ESCAPE ARTIST AND NITRO, DEMOLITION EXPERT!! In small writing under their names it reads: Later two guys with a tiger. We can see that people are beginning to pile into the casino in droves, nearly causing a riot as various men and women push and elbow one another.

Caption: Las Vegas after running up a tremendous tab and exceeding gambling debts...


Voice inside of casino: Ladies and Gentleman, not only do we have two of the world famous Explorers of the Unknown...

Panel two: A shot of inside of the casino stage area as the seats are filled to the point some people are sitting on the tables, to the anguish and frustration of some VIPs. On the stage is the casino owner wearing blue and black sparkling suit and paints attire. To his right is Nitro and Squint, who is chained up from his shoulders to his ankles. Behind the two is a large safe  roughly as tall as squint with the inside showing various explosives implanted inside along with various explosives on the outside as well. Squint is indifferent to the danger as he yawns. Nitro is casually tossing the remote to the explosives in his right hand and back carelessly. The casino owner has a microphone in his hands as he motions and poses to ham it up for the crowd.

Casino owner: ...But you are about to witness a stunt where the certainty of coming out alive is next to impossible!!!

Squint: Yaawn!

Nitro: Talk, talk, talk, talk! Let's get to the boom boom boom!

Panel three: Squint begins to hop into the safe with a smile on his face as Nitro playfully twiddles his fingers to mock goodbye. The casino owner is motioning towards the two as he explains the act.

Casino owner: Not only is the outside of the safe covered with explosives, but the inside as well~!!

Casino owner: Squint only has a minute to escape from the Vault of Doom before Nitro detonates his explosives! Imploding this large safe into something you could put into your pockets!

Page 11

Panel one: The Casino owner is still hyping everything as Nitro eagerly anticipates when he can unleash his explosives. Nitro is tapping the red button on the remote, but not enough to push it down to show how anxious he is to show off his artillery skills

Casino Owner: Can he do it?!! Will he survive!!?

Panel two: The Casino Owner whispers over Nitro's shoulders as he covers the mic with his hands. Nitro grins as he replies.

Casino Owner whispering: This isn't really that dangerous, is it?

Nitro: We're not putting a cherry bomb in a mailbox here!

Panel three: Nitro looks at his wristband as it begins to give off the Explorers Alert.

Nitro: Huh. Guess we're going to have to wrap this up a early like.

Panel four: Nitro presses the button as the vault begins to implode as all the explosives go off from outside and inside

VRRROOOPPPHHH

Casino Owner: What are you doing!?  He wasn't even in there for five seconds!!

Page 12

Panel one: The smoke begins to clear as the Casino Owner looks down in horror. Nitro looks down with a toothy grin, proud of his work.

Nitro: Heh. Look at that! Am I good or what!

Casino: Good?!! You're a murder!!

Panel two: The casino owner motions down at the safe as it has now been imploded to a small smoldering metal cube no bigger than a thimble.

Nitro: Personally, I love it when things blast apart, but there is an art to imploding something.

Nitro: And you can always just blow that up later if ya feel like it!

Panel three: The Casino Owner is beginning to panic as is everyone else in the room as they are running around and have no idea what to do. Nitro is reaching down to pick up the metal cube.

Casino Owner: Someone died on stage! My license!! Am I an accomplish!!? What do I do?!

Nitro: Tell the next act to come out. Me and Squint just covered our debts in spade!

Panel four: Nitro is juggling the scorching hot metal cube as he runs out of the room. Inside of the stage area we can see the casino owner has fallen to his knees in sadness while two magicians with white lions look on in confusion. The tiger is sniffing the air and licking his lips like he smells something delicious.

Nitro: Hot potato! Hot Potato!

Page 13

Nitro is casually tossing the hot metal cube with his right hand as he is near a bar where a familiar long nose person is sitting with a cup of soda right next to him along with three plates contain various food stains and chicken bones. In the background we can see several old ladies playing slots. One old lady looks disappointed as her winnings are only a few coins.

Nitro: Figured I'd find you stuffing your face.

Panel two: Nitro flicks the metal cube into the soda cup as causes the soda to sizzle.  The person/Squint begins top pick up the cup as he still plans on drinking from it.

Nitro: There ya, go! A souvenir for ya, Squint!

plink

Panel three: Squint is sipping from the soda cup as several people look on in astonishment as they are seeing what happened on the stage in a flat screen TV hanging up over the bar. Next to the stool is the chains Squint was tied up with.

Squint: Thanks. But I would have rather have kept my ice cold soda pop, Nitro.

Panel four: Nitro points at his wrist band as the alert is stilling flashing as Squint casually puts his glass cup back down with only the metal cube remaining inside as he begins to stand up and lick his lips as he imagines enjoying nice food later on. The old lady who just won the few coins is walking away as just behind her, another old woman's slot machine is gushing with coins.

Nitro: I'd rather we get going! I got a feeling that we're going to be up against something big. And I can't wait to turn that something big into small bits of nothing!


Squint: Hope you're right, my combustible compadre. Because the bigger the threat, the bigger the victory party we'll have after the day is saved.

Page 14

Panel one: A shot from inside of a scope as the sight is set on a big foot like creature, a skunk ape, in a tree. The skunk ape is around three foot tall with black and white fur. It looks scared out of his mind as it has no place else to hide.

Caption: Florida. The Big Cypress Swamp.

Caption Skunk Ape. Small smelly Big Foot.

Hunter: Boys, looks like we get the smelly critter treed good.


Panel two: A shot of the hunter ( about 6'6 and 380 pounds) as he is wearing overalls and has his rifle pointed at the skunk ape. Next to him are two of his redneck friends. One (Chet) is tall and gangly and is wearing a worn out ballcap and a Goose Gallery shirt where a goose is wearing camouflage gear. The other (Jed) is slightly more in shape than Chet and has stringy blond hair. He is decked out in camouflage from his clothes to his painted face. Chet is pinching his nose shut from the smell the skunk ape is eluding. We are in the swampland of Florida in a small patch of trees and bushes with only a small clearing ahead and behind the hunters. The trees start out with large trunks and go smaller and smaller until it forms a dome over the area with small bits of light shining through.

Jed: Reckon if'n this smelly monkey is real, then maybe that guy in the funny costume might actually have the money he promised us!

Chet: To think, Johnny, we take it back alive to The Collector, we'll get double the pay!

Panel three: Johnny leans into his rifle as he prepares to pull the trigger as the skunk ape vainly tries to hide in the branches of the tree.

Johnny: Hmph. Dead's easier to haul back—might even smell better that way, too, for all we know.

Panel four: A rope suddenly wraps around the gun and is yanked from Johnny's grasp and is pulled back away from him.

Off-Panel: So, this Collector doesn't do his own collecting. Too bad. After hearing how he targets rare species, I was hoping to have a few choice words with him.


Panel 15

Panel one: The group of hunters turn around as they are shocked to see who interrupted their hunt.

Johnny: No! It can't be! These parts isn't supposed to have your type setting your feet in it!

Panel two: A shot of Red Andrews and Angel Lodge from over the shoulders and heads of the hunters. Angel is in a fighting stance as she prepares for a fight. Red has the rifle in his hands as he tucks his rope back into his belt as he grins at the hunters confidently.

Red: Sorry. But when Red Andrews, Leader of the Explorers of the Unknown, receives word that a rare species is being threatened, I will walk through Hades barefoot to stop it from happening!

Angel: And Angel Lodge, martial artist and heiress, is very cross at certain riff-raff for making her miss a luncheon the state senator has prepared for her father!

Angel: ...plus a nice beach with my boyfriend would beat this swamp that is just killing my hair strands...

Panel three: Angel turns to Red as she points at her face. Red tries to smile as big as he can as he nods his head.

Angel: Red Andrews, I hope you appreciate all that I put up with! I can feel my pores showing!

Red: I do, and they're not. You're perfect.

Red: I promise that we'll have a nice romantic evening. Just the two of us. No interruptions.

Panel four: Johnny is grunting as he apparently doesn't like being forgotten by the Explorers. Chet and Jed are talking with one another as they come to an agreement.

Chet: Hear that, Jed? That's why I don't want a girlfriend! Too high main-e-nence!

Jed: Reckon that's right.

Johnny: Hmmmph.
                                                       
Page 16

Panel one: Johnny is pointing a finger at Red Andrews as Jed and Chet slink behind him. Red and Angel turn back to the hunters and are serious again.

Johnny: You should stick with getting cats out of  trees for little kids, hero. Me bagging that misfit will have me set for life!

Panel two: Red Andrews breaks the rifle across his knee as Angel looks on impressed.

Red:  No. It'll make you an idiot who helped with the extension of a species.

CRRAAK

Angel thinking: Sigh. He's cute when he's riled up.

Panel three: Johnny begins to charge the two Explorers as Chet and Jed begin to race towards the tree to get the skunk ape.

Johnny: Heck with this! I'll hold off these two! You get that thing out of that tree however you can!

Jed: Reckon that's a plan.

Page 17

Panel one: Red motions for Angel to go on ahead as she runs straight at the charging Johnny.

Red: Angel, could you please take care of those two? I'll handle him.

Angel: Fine. But it would be nice to go up against a foe with some decorum and class.

Panel two: All seen in one panel as Angel runs, leaps over Johnny, does several flips in the air and lands on her feet in a crouching position in front of Chet and Jed as they stop dead in their tracks.

Angel: Tell me you insufferable cretins...ever been touched by an angel? I won't be able to send you to heaven--

Panel three: Angel Lodge lands a leaping uppercut that knocks out Jed as Chet tries to strike Angel in response.

KRAK

Angel: --But I can knock you into next week!!

Chet: Oh yeah, gal!?

Panel four: Angel Lodge grabs onto Chet's arm and swings around his back as she prepares to put him in a head lock.

Panel five: Angel Lodge hits Chet with a barrage of punches right at his nose in one swift motion.

Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow

Panel six: Angel Lodge let's the dazed and defeated Chet fall face first onto the soft ground as she wipes her hands clean of the entire fight with a sanitation cloth as she sighs to herself. The skunk ape is climbing down from the tree as it has hearts over its head as it turns its head to look at Angel

Chet: ...Two Tuesdays back ta back?...hope his week is a new Swamp Men show....

WUD

Angel: I swear, my entire service staff doesn't deal with as much trash as I do!

Page 18

Panel one: Johnny begins to throw a punch at Red as Red feints to his left and begins to bend over to reach for Johnny's right leg.

Johnny: Fine! I'll take care of you, then the girl, and then the monkey!

Red: I have a better idea.

Red: First I dodge.

Panel two: Red picks up Johnny as Johnny has his right leg bent in the air  and lifts the much larger man off the ground.

Red: Then I take advantage when you're unbalanced....

Panel three: Red grabs hold of Johnny's right arm as he swings him towards the fallen hunters and Angel Lodge as she is carrying the skunk ape in her arms as she uses a free hand to hold her nose.

Red: Now I use leverage—

Johnny: WHOA!

Panel four: Red swings Johnny onto his hunter friends as he lands with a loud thud near the still unconscious Chet and Jed. Angel Lodge begins to approach Red as she seems pleased with him as she continues to hold her nose.

Red: --And let momentum and gravity take over from here!

Angel: Nice moves, Mr. Soldier of Fortune.

Page 19

Panel one: Red looks over at Angel as Angel now is holding the skunk ape by the hand and leading it to Red. The skunk ape gleefully walks along side her.

Red: Should I be jealous?

Panel two: Angel leans in close to Red as she smiles at him.

Angel: No. You're less hairy and smell much better.

Panel three: A close-up as Red and Angel are as close to possible to kissing.

Red: Lucky me.

Panel four: Red pulls back as his wrist band and Angel's wrist band goes off. Red's disposition goes back to being serious as Angel looks on frustrated. The skunk ape is puckering his lips and pointing at himself.

Red: An Explorer alert! We're needed back at Explorer Mountain ASAP!

Angel: Hmmph!

Panel five: Red runs ahead as Angel leads the skunk ape along as she talks with it much to its confusion. In the background we can see a cloaked figure in a full body high tech costume with a C on his face plate as he looks at the Explorers with great interest.

Red: No time to take the skunk ape to Preserve Island! We'll have to take him with us!

Angel: So...would you be open to a bath? Maybe some deodorant? A shave?

The Collector: Extraordinary is this Red Andrews and his Explorers of the Unknown. My benefactor was right. They will provide me a good bit of sport.


Page 20

Panel one: Red and Angel are entering the Explorer meeting room as Red rushes in and Angel is carrying the skunk ape in her arms. Nitro is leaning next to the door as he notices the skunk ape. Squint is trying to cover his nose as the stench of the skunk ape is coming right at him. Sitting down at the Explorer red and yellow table is F/X who is looking over various magazines for face disguise ideas and taking notes and making diagrams. Wheels gets out of her seat next to F/X and runs up to Red as she is overjoyed to see him. Hanging in front of the room is a monitor. The only Explorer not present is Gizmo.

Nitro: What, we getting a mascot now?

Squint: YLRRK! It suddenly smells like my old high school gym locker!

Red: Okay, we're all here so where is Gizmo and—

Wheels: Red! I heard about Florida!

Panel two: Wheels hugs Red as Red looks confused at what to do. Angel looks on with  twisted lips and a look of disapproval as the skunk ape looks on.

Red: Um, it was nothing, Wheels....

Wheels: You're just being humble! I wish I had been there with you!

Panel three: Angel hands the skunk ape over to Wheels as she begins to lead Red away from Wheels as he shrugs his shoulders to the reader. Wheels sticks her tongue out playfully at Angel.

Angel: I'm sure you do. Here. I got you your own boyfriend.

Wheels: Try finding me a new best friend next time.

Gizmo off-panel: Ahem.   


Page 21

Panel one: Gizmo is in front of the monitor as it lowers to his side as it shows a display of a giant asteroid blazing towards earth. Gizmo adjusts his glasses as the rest of the Explorers begin to sit down. Squint is still holding his nose as he looks a the monitor, F/X is stacking up his magazines and research to the side, Nitro is rolling a piece of dynamite on the table in front of him as he's already bored. Red sits in between Angel and Wheels. Angel leans her head on to Red's shoulders as Wheels and the skunk ape look on jealously. Spike seems entertained by the work Gizmo has presented.

Red: Gizmo, what's the emergency?

Spike: Say that's a meteor, isn't it, little buddy?

Gizmo: Not quite. Let me explain, Spike...

Panel two: Gizmo goes off topic as he acts like a teacher lecturing a high school classroom as he happily begins to go over the difference between a meteor and an asteroid.

Gizmo: The main difference between an asteroid and a meteor is location.

Gizmo: When a small planetoid is in space—as you can see here—it is an asteroid but when it enters the atmosphere it becomes a meteor and upon impact upon the ground a meteorite.

Panel three: Gizmo feels embarrassed as the majority of the Explorers look at him with different expressions. Angel glares at Gizmo for wasting her time. Red has his elbows on the table and his chin resting in his open palms as he waits for Gizmo to get back on point. Wheels rolls her eyes and smiles as she is at least appreciative of Gizmo's effort if not the timing; the skunk ape has fallen asleep in her arms. F/X has gone back to reading one of his magazines. Nitro is continuing to roll the stick of dynamite on the table only glaring up at Gizmo. Squint is trying to stay awake as he taps his upper jaw with his hand. Spike actually seems interested as he looks on wide-eyed like a kid who just received a gold star on a paper.

Spike: Learning is fun.

Red: Good to know. But the emergency, Giz...

Gizmo: Er, um, heh, yes—

Page 22

Panel one: Gizmo is standing in front of the monitor as it now shows the asteroid breaking up by bits in the earth atmosphere as it shadows over Riverdale.

Gizmo: Recently, the Explorer satellite link-ups picked up a 300 foot wide asteroid on a direct collision course for Earth with Riverdale being the center of impact!

Panel two: All Explorers begin to stand up as the seriousness of the asteroid causes them to snap to action. Wheels sets the skunk ape on the meeting table as it stretches its arms as it wakes back up. Nitro lets the stick of dynamite nearly fall to the ground before he reaches down to grab it.  Gizmo is moving towards the rest of the Explorers as he uses his hands to motion with to demonstrate what he is saying to them.

Gizmo: With the abnormal speed and the angle of entry adding to the temperature and the kinetic energy, upon impact the end result will be-- 

Panel three: A shot of the monitor lighting up in bright red, yellow, and orange explosion to show that the earth would be destroyed as The Explorers look on in horror. Even the skunk ape is shielding his eyes with its hands. Gizmo looks on sadly as he continues.

Gizmo: The total destruction of Earth.

Gizmo: Explorers, by my calculations, we are merely three hours away from Doomsday.

Squint: Huh. Guess it doesn't matter I forgot to set the DVR for Seat of Kings now....


TO BE CONTINUED.

 
Page 1

Panel one: A close-up on Paul Patton, Jr. as he has a fake smile on his face as he has a notepad and pencil ready as looks ahead. Around his neck is an old fashion camera.

Caption: I'm Paul Patton, Jr: Husband, father, photojournalist and local superhero The Fox.

Paul Patton, Jr.: Mr. Griffin, for the Impact City Gazette, I'd like to thank you for your time. We know you relocated to Impact City after Griffin Enterprises acquisitioned Bright Industries and you've hardly had time to finalize...

Caption: Oh, wait. I forgot one.

Panel two: Paul Patton Jr. begins to write shorthand on his notepad as he keeps his eyes looking ahead at the still unseen Mr. Griffin. His short hand is very unreadable with lines and slashes along the pages and along the side of it are games of Tic-Tac-Toe where he manages to lose every time.

Mr. Griffin off panel: Not a problem at all. My staff has done an excellent job locating, obtaining, restructuring and purchasing facilities to suit our needs. What I find hard is introductions.

Mr. Griffin off-panel: Doing this interview is the best way to introduce myself to my new home.

Caption: Freak Magnet.

Panel three: Paul looks up as Mr. Griffin says something that snaps him out of his deep thought.

Mr. Griffin: I hope my appearance isn't too offsetting, Mr. Patton.

Paul Patton Jr.: Er—no. And call me Paul...


Panel four: Paul Patton Jr. is faking a grin as he tries to not to show his concern for what he is seeing off panel

Mr. Griffin off-panel: As you wish, Paul. Would you like a drink, something to eat perhaps? My personal chef makes a religieuss to die for.

Paul Patton, Jr.: That's one lethal sweet tooth.

Caption: Ever since I put on my full body spandex pajamas and acted like it was Halloween at comiccon, I'm attracted every sort of costumed creep, mutilating mutant, and interdimensional ignoramous.



Page 2


Panel one: A shot inside a skyscraper office as we can see Paul sitting at a desk. Behind the desk sitting is a man around 6'2 wearing a black business suit and tie with his hands and head covered in bandages and wearing dark sunglasses. He has a computer on his desk, various files, and a small bowl of mints. He is handing a mint to Paul as Paul reluctantly reaches to take it as he has a uneasy smile on his face.

Caption: So trust me when I say—this is a bad guy.

Mr. Griffin: Hah. Yes. I suppose it would be at that. How about a mint then?

Paul: Sure.

Caption: Make that super villain.

Panel two: Paul begins to unwrap the mint as Mr. Griffin talks.

Mr. Griffin: I suppose I should give you the basic details of my life.

Caption: 5:1 this mint is poisoned.

Paul: You're the man of the hour.

Panel three: Mr. Griffin' cups his hands as he places them on the front of his desk as he calmly begins to go over his life.

Mr. Griffin: My name is Aster Wells Griffin. I come from an affluent family. My family's wealth began with pharmaceuticals and grew to include computer engineering, communications, and manufacturing.

Caption: 2:3 he only has facebook friends.

Panel two: Mr. Griffin holds out his hands to show off his bandages.

Mr. Griffin: As is apparent, I have a skin condition. Sadly a genetic trait that runs in my family. A sever case of photodermatitus. My skin and eyes have a rather very violent reaction to UV rays.

Caption: 3:2 says he's a vampire.

Panel three: Mr. Griffin stands up and looks out the windows to his skyscraper.

Paul: Mr. Griffin—

Mr. Griffin: Aster.

Paul: Aster. You're worth more than most countries combined and if we liquefied your assets, it'd overflow out of the building and raise the ocean level by ten feet--

Paul: What was it specifically that drew you to Impact City?

Panel five: View from outside of the window as Mr. Griffin looks straight ahead as the reflection of the city is upon the window.

Mr. Griffin: It wouldn't seem like the best place to relocate, no?

Mr. Griffin: The crime rate is twice as high as the next two metropolises'. Not a day seems to guy by where a villain jeopardizes innocent lives. The police are underfunded, politicians who prefer a hand out over falling on the sword...

Mr. Griffin: ...But there is also a city that knows how to rebuild stronger than ever. Communities that hold firm to basic moral decency. An inner strength to treat the extraordinary mundanely.

Panel six: Mr. Griffin turns back to Paul as Paul smiles at him. On the notepad we can see a picture of Mr. Griffin crushing the world between his hands.

Mr. Griffin: Ah. Listen to me rambling. Let's just say I see a bright future ahead for Impact City.

Paul: Oh keep rambling. Pure magic is coming out of your mouth.

Caption: Even odds says we'll be punching each other within a week.

Page 3

Panel one: Paul begins to write on his note pad as he thinks.

Caption: Now I comes the standard questions and that I already answered the night before using wikipedia. So boring time.

Caption: Not that I mind. Gives me time to think.

Panel two: Paul stares at his notepad as he thinks. Behind him is an image of what happened in the last story arc with Ghost Fox (his son Shinji) being held captive by Mr. Smile as She-Fox is lying on the ground with the left side of her body having just been blasted while The Fox looks on helplessly.

Caption: Like how horrible of a husband and father I am.

Caption: Like how, when I tried to leave The Fox behind and lead a normal life, it resulted in my untrained son picking up the mantle, being captured, and my wife being injured—

Panel three: Same shot only with She-Fox snapping Mr. Smile's neck while The Fox and Ghost Fox look on in horror.

Caption: --And my wife having to kill Mr. Smile, the big bad of Impact City, to protect us all.

Panel four: Paul looks up as he nods his head and smiles. In the background is an image of the family posing. Mae has grown her hair out on the left side to cover up her scarred face ala Tailia Al Ghul from Batman. Both Mae and Shinji look content while Paul has this weird nervous smile and rolls his eyes towards the other two.

Caption: And now Shinji is a hero in training so he can learn to run into radioactive monsters than can punch through concrete the right way and Mae...she's handling it better than I am.

Caption: So the more things change the more they stay the same.

Panel five: Paul is standing up and shaking Mr. Griffin's hand as the interview is over. In the background is The Shield talking with The Fox and She-Fox (all in costume) The Shield shows a video of Fly Girl as she attacks Ragnarok from Dark Tomorrow

Caption: And now my daughter—she's had it rough. First, she has me as a father and secondly... her mother was killed with a lot of my old super buddies and after a recent mission...

Caption: She's had nothing but bad days for way too long.

Panel six: A close-up on Paul's face as he has a wide dopey smile as he continues to act super friendly to Mr. Griffin. In the background is an image of Fly Girl and Kelly Brand.

Caption: She's going to be staying with us and that makes me happy—really, but--

Paul Patton: How about a few pictures? If you don't mind with your condition, I'd understand completely if--

Caption: God, please don't let me make her life worse than it is. Just this one miracle, please?

Page 4

Panel one: Over the shoulder of an alarmed Paul Patton as he looks past Mr. Griffin to see a dark blue Pirate ship hovering in the air and shooting off an anchor that is rocketing towards them. Mr. Griffin doesn't notice as he stands up and complies

Caption: Okay, let's dodge the giant anchor from the pirate ship in the air, take this pic, and bond with my daughter!

Mr. Griffin: I don't mind at all. I'm sure no one will notice the small stain on my suit.

Caption: ...Wait. What was that first thing?

Panel two: Paul leaps over the desk and pushes Mr. Griffin to the ground as the anchor is just a few feet away.

Paul Patton: Get down!

Panel three: The giant anchor crashes through the glass windows of the office and out the office door as it kicks up a dust cloud that begins to spread though the room. Paul reaches Mr. Griffin just in time and pushes him to the ground.

KKRAAKKK

Caption: Freak magnet.

Caption: Metal anchor from a pirate ship hovering over the city.

THOOOMM

Caption: 'Natch.

Page 5

Panel one: A close up on Paul as he looks down to check on Mr. Griffin as he tries to push away the dust cloud that is blocking his view.

Paul: Mr. Griffin, are you okay? Is anything broken?—besides your office and faith in this city I mean.

Caption: Not what I was expecting today. The title to my autobiography.

Panel two: a close-up on Paul's surprised eyes.

Panel three: Over the back of Paul Patton as we can see that Mr. Griffin is gone and all that remains is his bandages, his sunglasses, and the rest of his clothing.

Caption: And chapter 14 will be titled: Somewhere in Impact City, a multibillionaire is streaking.

Panel four: Paul stands up and pulls his shirt open to reveal his Fox costume as he prepares to fight crime.

Paul: Sigh.

Caption: ...And I wanted to wrap up the day so I can be home when Kelly arrives and just give her the biggest hug ever.

Panel five: The Fox is in full costume as he is beginning to climb the anchor chain as he looks up at the pirate ship.

Caption: Costumed villains and not being there for the people I love. The story of my life.

 Page one

Panel one: A dejected Jughead is walking along a sidewalk in a suburban area as Sandy Sanchez, who is in jogging clothes, is running towards him. It is late in the afternoon. Along the road several cars drive past. One car is driving by a man who can barely see over his steering wheel. And he certainly can't see the man crossing the street.

Sandy: Jughead! You're face is as long as your nose. What's wrong? Pops wants you to pay your tab?

Jughead: If only it was. Then I'd be able to reason with a rational person.

Panel two: Jughead is slowing walking along as Sandy is running in place as she talks with him. A pedestrian narrowly avoids being hit by the car as he dives into someone's yard.

Sandy: Who are we talking about?

Jughead: It's my mom. She says that I'm lazy, eat too much, and won't let up on me unless I do something about it.

Panel three: Jughead is even sadder as he relays his situation to Sandy. Sandy is rolling her eyes good-naturedly. The pedestrian is being helped to his feet by several attractive ladies as his mood shifts from terror to joy.

Jughead: She won't even let me sleep two extra hours late and only two helpings of desert for breakfast.

Sandy: How ever will you survive?

Page two:

Panel one: Jughead slumps over and places his hands in his pockets as he walk ahead. Sandy is enthusiastically talking, trying to cheer him up. Jughead is walking along like he's walking towards his execution. The girls are carrying the pedestrian over their heads, as if he's too injured to walk on his own.

Jughead: I don't know, Sandy. I just don't know...maybe a few burgers at Pops and crashing on Archie's sofa will give me a few ideas.

Sandy: Hey, how about I help you with your procrastination?

Panel two: Jughead is walking away and waves his hand at Sandy as the idea. Sandy places her hand over her face as she shakes her head despondently in response to Jughead's reply.

Jughead: No, I don't need help with that. I'm already too good at it. That's what's the problem.

Panel three: Sandy has darted in front of Jughead to stop him in place and to explain what she means. Jughead is in mid step as he stops. Sandy has both arms stretch out as if to block him from leaving before she explains her meaning.

Sandy: No! I mean, let me help you get physically fit! You getting exercise should satisfy your mom. I'll be with you every step of the way.

Panel four: Jughead is scratching his chin as he is debating whether he should actually try to exercise. Sandy is tugging at Jughead's arm, as if trying to get him started already before he has made his mind up.

Jughead: I don't know...is a pain in the neck worse than aching all over?

Sandy: I usually have to exercise alone, and I'd enjoy the company! C'mon, I promise it'll be fun!

Panel five: Jughead shrugs his shoulders as he reluctantly relents to an overly enthusiastic Sandy.

Jughead: You really shouldn't make promises you can't keep...but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Panel six: Sandy runs off as Jughead looks on puzzled as if he doesn't understand the meaning of Sandy's words as they're not doctrine that Jughead uses in his everyday life.

Sandy: Super! I'll be by your house bright and early tomorrow!

Jughead: "Bright and early"? What an odd thing to say. I wonder what she could possibly mean?

Page three:


Panel one: Jughead is in bed as his mother is opening the curtains just above his bed to let a strong beam of sunlight shine on his face as he tries to hide his head in his pillow. The alarm clock on Jughead's stand reads 7: 35 AM. In his room are stack of comics, empty soda bottles and cans, and various posters of food along the wall.

Caption: Bright and early the next day...

Mrs. Jones: Forsythe Pendleton Jones! Your friend has been waiting outside for twenty minutes!

Jughead: Just tell her it will be just as bright later. Later like tomorrow of next year.

Panel two: Jughead, dressed in his usual clothing only wearing a black pair of shorts is greeted by Sandy. Sandy is wearing a Riverdale T-shirt and blue shorts and running shoes. She is on her knees petting Hot Dog, who enjoys the attention.

Sandy: It's about time! You'd be late for your own funeral, Jug.

Jughead: I'd want to be early or on time?

Panel three: Jughead is walking towards his dad's car as Sandy grabs him by his right arm and pulls him towards the sidewalk. Hot Dog is looking on with a hint of amusement at his master's predicament.

Jughead: Dad's on a fishing trip with friends, so borrowing the car shouldn't—

Sandy: No cars!

Sandy: You and I are going to jog all the way to Pickens Park.

Panel four: Sandy is pushing Jughead along as they jog down the sidewalk. Jughead, as you would expect, is hesitant as he still has his eyes shut as he points to fingers at them to illustrate his point. Hot Dog is looking on as he is waving goodbye to Jughead.

Jughead: Jog all the way?! Pickens Park isn't in immediate eye range!

Sandy: It will be after a mile or two....

Panel five: Same shot only with Sandy and Jughead further along in the distance and Hot Dog having fallen asleep in just a few seconds.

Sandy: ...And that should be good enough for the warm up. When we get to the park is when we really get to work.

Jughead: If that's what's in store for us there...let's go somewhere else.

Hot Dog: ZZZZZ

Page four:

Panel one: Sandy is jogging into Pickens Park as Jughead is gasping for breath as he is barely dragging himself behind her. Several park goers look in his direction with surprise and concern. An elderly couple is bird watching. On another tree just beside Sandy and Jughead, three squirrels are pointing at Sandy and Jughead and seem to be interested in them. In the distance, we can see the General Pickens' memorial statue.

Sandy: Jughead, isn't it great to fill your lungs with fresh morning air?

Jughead: You bet...(huff puff) It's much more special when it's your (huff huff) last breath...

Panel two: Sandy is leading Jughead towards a grass area near a pond as several ducks look at them. One duck is swimming in the pond on its head with its legs kicking up in the air. The squirrels are racing down the tree to follow along. One squirrel is motioning for the others to follow with its arm.

Jughead: Now what?

Sandy: I think about fifty jumping jacks would be a great way to loosen up your arms and legs.

Jughead: I think I prefer them attached to the rest of me.

Panel three:  Sandy is doing the jumping jacks as she begins to break a sweat. She is looking straight ahead, focusing on her own workout, not turned to Jughead. She is listening to what she believes is Jughead doing the jumping jacks.

CLAP CLAP


Sandy: Sounds like you're doing great! After the next ten, let's add touching the ground between jumps!

CLAP CLAP

Panel four: We scan over more to see Sandy happily doing her jumping jacks while Jughead is standing beside a tree clapping his hands to sound like he is doing jumping jacks. On top of the tree the squirrels are imitating Sandy and doing jumping jacks. One squirrel looks down on Jughead with ridicule.


Jughead: Let's not and say we did.

CLAP CLAP


Page 5

Panel one: Sandy and Jughead are on a path in the park in a fairly forested area. Several people are running along the path. Sandy is pointing along the path, showing where they will be running. Jughead has his hand along his brow as he is peering out into the distance. The three squirrels are behind Jughead as they follow Sandy's finger with their heads.

Sandy: Here's something I like to do: run as fast as I can before I hit the wall.

Jughead: Wall? Don't you mean a tree? Or can't I see it because of the forest?

Panel two: Sandy is explaining as displeased Jughead his arms folded over his chest and his head turned away from Sandy. Sandy continues in her hopeful ways.

Sandy: No. I mean, I like to run at full burst and see how far I can go before I hit the wall, catch my second wind, and push on through.

Jughead: I seem to recall you promising this experience would be fun at some point in time—

Pane three: Sandy and Jughead are running at full speed. Sandy is zooming ahead as Jughead is struggling to keep up. The squirrels from before are racing along side them. One squirrel is hurdling over a tree branch that had fallen on the path.

Sandy: This is fun!

Jughead: No. the words "fun" and "run" rhyme. That's as close as the two get to ever being alike.


Panel four: Sandy has gotten her second wind as she is running. She has a determined smile on her face as she wipes her brow.

Sandy: And there was the wall and the breakthrough to a second wind!

Sandy: How about you?

Panel five: Sandy turns around to see Jughead just behind her collapsed on the path as he is dead tired and looks like a doll thrown against a wall. Two of the squirrels are standing on Jughead's hat, shaking their heads in disappointment. One squirrel is trying to cool Jughead off with a leaf.

Jughead: I hit the wall...but it hit back like a hurricane!


Page six:

Panel one: A disgruntled Jughead is running along a path as Sandy has a stop watch and begins to time him. Two of the squirrels are along side Sandy while one squirrel follows beside Jughead. Jughead is talking to the squirrel, the first time the squirrels' presence has been acknowledged, as it looks up and shrugs its shoulders at Jughead.

Sandy: Okay, follow this path and it will lead you around in a circle for a good mile. I'll time you and we'll work on doing better and better each time.

Jughead: Where does she get the idea that I'll ever be doing this again?

Panel two: Jughead is running down a hill as Sandy looks on proudly with stop watch in hand. The stop watch shows fifteen seconds have elapsed. The sun is shining as it would if it was around noon.

Sandy: Go, Jughead, Go! I know you can do it. I believe in you!

Panel three: The sun has moved about the sky to show that a good deal of time has passed. Sandy is concerned as she looks at the stop watch as it reads: 1 hour and 25 seconds.

Caption: Later...

Sandy: Of course, I believed in the Easter Bunny until I was fourteen, too...

Panel four: Sandy is walking down the hill as the two squirrels follow. The two squirrels seem to be conversing as they look to be worried about their lost companion. Sandy is talking to herself and not the squirrels.

Sandy: I just don't understand it. He couldn't have gotten lost, and even if he had walked he would have been back by now...

Panel five: Sandy turns to find Jughead sleeping under a tree, his arms behind his head in a relaxed sitting position. Around Jughead are several hot dog wrappers. The missing squirrel is right beside Jughead with a wadded up hot dog wrapper as a pillow. The sleeping squirrel is motioning with a hand for something to continue, going along with what Jughead is mumbling in his sleep. Both of their stomachs are pouched out. In the distance we can see a hot dog bender and his cart selling hot dogs to a mother, father, and their son. Sandy has her hands at her hips as she is a mix of anger and disappointment. The two squirrels are along side her with the same body language.

Sandy: ...Unless he got distracted.

Jughead: zzzz ...yeah...just pile on the relish and cover it with mustard my good man...zzzz

Page seven

Panel one: Sandy is stomping away from an apologetic Jughead, as she is fed up with him and his lack of effort and no success. Jughead has his hand over his mouth as he simultaneously burps and pleads with Sandy. Behind Sandy are the squirrels. The two squirrels that were with Sandy seem to be lecturing the squirrel that was with Jughead as it hangs its head in shame.

Sandy: I'm sorry, Jughead. I tried, but I couldn't have wasted my time more if I attempted to stack ice cubes from here to the sun!

Sandy: Argggh! I could have spent my morning studying for chem.!

Jughead: Sandy! (Burp) I'm sorry.

Panel two: Sandy has stopped as she is still angry, but not as much as a repentant Jughead talks to her.

Jughead: You're trying to help me, and I really do want to enjoy a run in the park and the like—but I'm just not motivated the way you are!

Jughead: I don't enjoy it just to do it or look at nature. The only time I ever run is to be first in the lunch line.

Pane three: Sandy is thinking as she is just finalizing a plan to help Jughead.  Jughead has a hopeful look in his eyes as he is surprised by Sandy's words.

Sandy: And you do that so you can get...

Panel four: Sandy smiles and turns to Jughead who gives her a thumbs up. The squirrels leap in joy as they sense a turn to the positive.

Sandy: Okay! If you're serious about working out and making up for today, come back to this spot tomorrow morning. I have a plan that's sure to work!


Page 8

Panel one: Sandy is looking at her stop watch as a sweaty and exhausted Jughead is running up to her at full speed. Jughead has his tongue hanging out. We cannot see Sandy's other arm, but we can tell that she is holding something in her hand.

Caption: Same place tomorrow after five miles under fifteen minutes.

Sandy: Looks like my new training method is a success.

Jughead: It sure is, Sandy!

Panel two: Sandy holds out a plastic bag containing five cookies as Jughead reaches out for them as he begins to salivate more than sweat now.

Sandy: And here is another bag of my special low fat cookies. No butter and sugar, but cream cheese and apple sauce. And still with a great taste!

Jughead: They may be low calorie...

Panel three: Jughead continues to run along the path in a blue as he munches the cookies as he goes. Sandy is standing along the path as we can see she has a small pile of plastic bags containing her cookies as she waits for Jughead to run another mile to hand him another bag. Several other runners are looking at Sandy with a confused expression. The Squirrels are looking on as the three are sharing a cookie as they chew merrily.

Jughead: --But they're fast food to me!

Sandy: Proper motivation. That's all it takes sometimes.

THE END