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#41
Fan Fiction / Jughead in Everybody's a Critic
July 05, 2016, 04:21:44 PM
 Panel one: Mrs. Jones is walking into the living room holding up a cordless phone as Jughead, Mr. Jones, and Hot Dog are both sitting upright on the sofa as they are watching TV. Jughead and Hot Dog are sharing a bowl of chips as both their mouths are covered in crumbs. Mr. Jones reacts harshly to the news of the phone call as he slouches and crosses his arms in the sofa. On the TV is a Mega Man cartoon. Jellybean is on the ground with her mouth open as she points inside of it.

Mrs. Jones: Hon, it's Rob Hamhock again!

Mr. Jones: Bah! When will that bloated blimp stop blowing his hot air in my direction!? Tell him, if I didn't take his call the last five days, not to waste the rest of the week!!

Panel two: Mrs. Jones walks away as she talks on the phone. Mr. Jones looks over at Jughead as Jughead turns his head inquisitively to his father. Hot Dog flips a chip into Jellybean's open mouth.

Mrs. Jones: Yeas, now's not a good time--

Jughead: Pops, who's this Rob Hamhock who's got your spit polish boiling over the last few days?

Panel three: Mr. Jones turns to Jughead as he seems perplexed that Jughead doesn't now who Rob Hamhock is. Jughead turns back to the TV as has stopped paying attention to his father. Jellybean is reaching up for the bowl of chips as Hot Dog notices at the last second. On the TV screen is Mega Man fighting Cut Man.

Mr. Jones: Son, I know I've told you about Rob Hamhock t million times over. How can you not--?

Jughead: Yep. Uh-huh. Fascinating. I didn't know that. What's that? Super. Glad to know...

Page 2

Panel one: Mr. Jones grabs Jughead by his shirt collar and pulls him up as he begins to walk away from the couch with a reluctant Jughead in tow. Hot Dog and Jellybean are having a tug of war for the bowl of chips and Jellybean is surprisingly winning as Hot Dog is on his hind legs and is using his left front paw to grab onto the coach for extra leverage as he continues to lose.

Mr. Jones: Come with me! I want to show you something!

Jughead: There's something on TV!  Different channels of something!

Panel two: We are in Mr. Jones' house office as he pulls up a seat at his desk and makes Jughead sit in front of a computer on his desk. On the work desk is various folders and paper piles. Also on the desk are various pictures of the Jones Family. One picture is of Baby Jughead diving his head into his birthday cake and next to it is one where Jellybean dives her head into her birthday cake as Jughead sheds a tear in pride from behind.

Mr. Jones: My boy, before you were born, your old man was a famous film critic!

Jughead: When was the last time someone asked you for an autograph?

Panel three: Mr. Jones turns Jughead around and begins to go on the ITube website as he clicks on a video that reads: LAST HAIR RAISING CRITIQUE.

Mr. Jones: You last week for the note Coach Kleats sent about you sleeping during a game of basketball.

Mr. Jones: Now, just watch..

Panel four: A shot of the computer screen as a younger Mr. Jones, wearing a dated suit and pants and sporting an afro is sitting next to a fat guy, with short brown and glasses, in similar bad clothing as they are on a set with various film tape and director clip boards as decorations. On a video panel is a movie title called: KONQUEST OF THE KOMBATIVE CARATE KUKUMBERS. Old Mr. Jones is smiling and pointing away to a distant location while Rob Hamhock points down on the ground to signal staying put.

Old Mr. Jones: Well, Rob, I loved this movie! It was a fun movie made for fun's sake. I point a finger to the movie theater.

Old Rob Hamhock: That's the stupidest review I've heard! This movie is stinky and anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have a soul! Stay home, viewers!

Panel five: Jughead reacts in shock as he watches the ITube video to see his dad rip his hair out as Rob jolts up and prepares to fight. Mr. Jones looks on and shakes his head and covers his eyes as he obviously regrets this moment in time.

Old Mr. Jones: You fat load!  You make me so angry; I could pull my hair out!

Old Rob Hamhock: That's fine by me! Just leave your neck alone! I'll wring that for you!!

Jughead: !!!

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead continues to watch the ITube video as Old Mr. Jones has Old Rob Hamhock in a headlock and takes him to the ground as various actors who resemble Cary Grant, Sylvester Stallone (in boxing trunks and wearing a red bandana), and Robbie the Robot rush the set to separate them.  Mr. Jones feels the top of his head as he frowns.

Jughead: So that's what happened to your hair and--

Jughead: ...Wow. Nice take down. Too bad MMA wasn't created back in the yesterdays, huh?

Mr. Jones: Sigh. I had just finished my comb collection, too...

Panel two: Jughead clicks back on the computer to see various other videos featuring the two. Mr. Jones begins to walk away as he gives the denied arm motion as he begins to walk away in disgust.

Mr. Jones: After that, I quit the critic business, while Rob went at it alone. Now, the twentieth anniversary of the show is coming and he wants me to come back on for a reunion special!

Panel three: Jughead is scrolling down as we see various video searches where we can see Mr. Jones and Rob looking very happy. Mr. Jones stops and looks back questioningly.

Jughead: Too bad. Looks like before, you guys got along really well.

Mr. Jones: Eh?

Panel four: Mr. Jones look down at the screen and smiles as we can see video clips of Mr. Jones and Rob wearing western clothing on a stage set up like a ghost town, another has the two dressed as zombies interviewing a guy who looks like George Romero. And another has the two on a Valentine set as they are both seen crying at a scene of a movie where a woman on a pier waves goodbye at her sailor boyfriend as his submarine pulls out and begins to submerge.

Jughead: See?

Mr. Jones: I guess we did have our moments.

Panel five: Jughead is leaving the room as Mr. Jones is now in the chair and watching the videos with a smile on his face as he happily begins to reminisce on happier times with his former colleague.

Jughead: Weird. I always figured when you shared so many popcorn bags and walked the same sticky carpet with a pal, your friendship could last through anything.

Mr. Jones: You'd think so...

Page 4

Panel one: Mrs. Jones is walking in the hall as Jughead leaves his father's study.

Mrs. Jones: Sigh. I wish your father could live and let live.

Jughead: I think the same thing every time I don't do a chore and he brings it up at the kitchen table.

Panel two: Mr. Jones happily sticks his head out of his studies as he startles both Mrs. Jones and Jughead.

Mr. Jones: Say, Gladys, you didn't happen to take a message from Old Robbie Boy?

Mrs. Jones: Er, no...but his number should be on the caller ID—

Panel three: Mr. Jones merrily runs past Mrs. Jones and Jughead as he races away. Mrs. Jones scratches her head in confusion as Jughead looks accusingly at his mother. Walking along in the hall is Hot Dog with the potato chip bowl on his head as Jellybean rides on his back.

Mrs. Jones: What's gotten into that man?

Jughead: You didn't tell me last about supper being ready again, did you?

Panel four: Mrs. Jones and Jughead are in the kitchen as Mr. Jones is leaning on the kitchen table with his left arm supporting him as he uses his right to hold the phone to his ear. Jughead and Mrs. Jones look at each other with the same befuddled facial expression.

Mr. Jones: ...Yeah, it has been a long time. So let's let bygones be long gone and have one last show together!

Mr. Jones: ...That's great, Robbie. See you Saturday!

Panel five: Mr. Jones rushes up to hug both Mrs. Jones and Jughead in his arms. Mrs. Jones returns the hug while Jughead doesn't react one way to the hug as he begins to ask a question.

Mr. Jones: You hear that, hon?! Back one time only at the old show!

Mrs. Jones: That's great, dear!

Jughead: Wait, mom, you haven't even started cooking?

Page 5

Panel one: Mr. Jones takes a few steps back and opens his eyes wider with the index and thumb of each respective hand to show that he still has great eyesight and inducement into movie critiquing. Jughead seems unimpressed while Mrs. Jones is trying to not laugh at her husband as she puts her right hand over her mouth.

Mr. Jones: It's been a few years, but these eyes can pick out the greatness and flaws of a movie and tell the listeners what's what.

Jughead: I do that with Archie all the time...

Panel two: Jughead shrugs his shoulders as Mr. Jones stares at Jughead with a hint of anger as he scowls slightly at Jughead for making light of Mr. Jones' good news. Mrs. Jones rolls her eyes at Jughead.

Jughead: ...But when I tell him a movie is bad and we should leave, Ronnie  yells at me to shut up and stop ruining her dates with Archie.

Jughead: Dames.

Panel three: Mr. Jones talks with Jughead as Jughead tilts his head in confusion.

Mr. Jones: What do you say, son? Want to go to the Riverdale Public Broadcasting and watch your old man at his old job?

Jughead: Sure, but one question: What's your current job?

Panel four: Mr. Jones crosses his arms across his chest and squints an eye at Jughead as Jughead shrugs his shoulders in a hollow way.

Mr. Jones: Do I have to talk to you during commercial breaks for you to actually listen to me?

Jughead: It'd help, but if those talking candy pieces are on, you have no hope.

Panel five: Mr. Jones is rushing out the kitchen door as Jughead puts his hands in his pockets and begins to walk behind. Mrs. Jones smiles in amusement.

Mr. Jones: C'mon, Jughead! Your old man has get the kinks out of the ol' eyeballs—TO THE MOVIE THEATER!!!

Jughead: The distance I'll travel to bum popcorn and mooch candy treats and not have to pay for my own movie ticket...

Page 6

Panel one: A shot of the Mr. Jones and Jughead in the middle of the movie theater as they watch the movie with a crowd of people around them. Everyone in the movie theater has 3D glasses on. One guy in the front row has his arms wrapped another woman as, unnoticed by him, his girlfriend is glaring down at him from the aisle. Mr. Jones is playing with his 3D glasses as Jughead has a soda and is taking a sip from his straw. An elderly gentleman behind Jughead has 3D binoculars and is peering over Jughead's left shoulder.

Mr. Jones: Hey, the more things change...

Mr. Jones: I remember when I used to watch movies in 3D with your mom on dates.

Panel two: Mr. Jones suddenly jumps back in his chair as something startles him as Jughead and everyone else in the theater remains unaffected and casual about the situation. The old man with binoculars looks over his left shoulder as if he could still see the image of the plane flying away.  The boyfriend has been pummeled by the girlfriend and is slumped and bruised over in his seat. The woman he was seeing on the side looks away and whistles innocently like she was an innocent bystander.

Mr. Jones: WHOA! THAT PLANE IS COMING RIGHT AT US!!

Jughead: The plane is flying over us. The tanks are coming right at us.

Panel three: Mr. Jones and Jughead are watching another movie with a different crowd of people as red, yellow, and orange flashes glare across the movie theater as Mr. Jones shields his eyes from the intense light. Jughead is casually eating popcorn. Numerous viewers are standing up and applauding the explosions like it was classical theater. Several other movie watchers have ear plugs and sunglasses on as the explosions boom and flash.

KKKKAAABBBBOOOOMMBBBB

Mr. Jones: This movie has been nothing but explosions for forty minutes!!

Jughead: Just forty? Mathew Harbor must be trying to tell a story with this flick.

Panel four: Mr. Jones and Jughead are in a different theater and the audience around them is now mostly children, their parents, and a few grandparents who seem confused by the movie as their grandkids jump up and down in their chairs in excitement. The kids have various balloons let lose in the theater, party streamers spreading every where, party poppers spreading confetti in the air. And in the aisle is a sad usher with a broom who knows he's in for a long night's work. Several kids nearly topple the usher off his feet as the run like a savage herd as their parents try to round them up.

Mr. Jones: Back in my day we had real animation! Hand drawn! It was an art!

Jughead: If you like stellar animation, check out The Hub channel when Sabrina the Teenage Witch debuts!

Caption: Expect Jughead to say nice things until we give him his book series back—editor

Panel five: Mr. Jones and Jughead are standing up out of their seats and defending themselves against unhappy horror fans dressed in various monster costumes that do not approve of what the Jones men are saying. Jughead is pushing back against a midget dressed as Chucky who is trying to stab him with a straw. Behind the Jones clan is a group of teens just like the Puppet Master puppets (Blade, Jester, Pinhead, and Six-Shooter) In front of them are Riverdale Hockey team who seem to be rooting on their fellow hockey mask wearing monster; they even have a banner reading: GO JAYSON GO. Sleeping in his chair next to Mr. Jones is a guy dressed like Freddy Kreuger with his hat over his eyes and his feet propped up on the chair in front of him. The rest of the angry mob is dressed like vampires, zombies, and werewolves.

Mr. Jones: --Look! Horror movies have rules! Having the bad guy win at the end for no reason is not a twist or a great ending!!

BOOOO

Jughead: Hey! You listen to what the man is preaching!!


Page 7

Panel one: Jughead and Mr. Jones are on the set of the Rob Hamhock Movies You View set as Mr. Jones shakes hands with Rob. Mr. Jones is wearing a blue button suit and jeans and Rob is dressed casual with a Hawaiian style shirt and wearing brown khakis and dress shoes. He still wears the same glasses from his longer days and his hair has turned white. The set is blue and black with a purple background and two old fashion director chairs on the middle of the set. A small table is placed in between the chairs showcasing popcorn, a soda, and milk duds. A small flat screen is hanging over head. Several crew workers are taping down wires while one seems to have gotten tangled up and is wrapped like a mummy. A camera man is getting set up for the show as he sets up a stand for the camera while his son has his cellphone out to record the show. Jughead notices a old woman knitting a sweater, an African American male with a rainbow over his head as he reads, and a Blue Dinosaur walking together as they head to their sets.

Caption: Saturday at Public Broadcasting Station RPBS

Mr. Jones: It's good to see you again, Rob.

Rob: Likewise, Forsythe. It was so silly to ruin a friendship and viewership over one movie.

Panel two: Mr. Jones motions towards Jughead who notices a stage hand pushing along a cart with nearly a dozen different cakes. On the cart is a sign reading: CAKE MONSTER CAKE TREATS: DO NOT EAT.

Mr. Jones: And this is my son, Jughead.

Rob: Nice to meet you, son.

Jughead: Charmed. Say...I think I'll go stretch my legs a bit before you guys start.

Panel three: Rob and Mr. Jones look on as Jughead chases after the cake cart with his tongue hanging out like a dog sticking his head out a window.

Rob: Quite the son you've got there, Jones.

Mr. Jones: Yeah, I'm not sure what all is there, but most of it is good.

Panel four: Mr. Jones and Rob take their seats as a producer begins to count down the show start time with his hand. A blank flat screen turns on to read: MOVIES YOU VIEW on it.

Mr. Jones: I've missed doing this, dear friend.

Rob: Yeah, the show hasn't been the same without you ,old pal.

Panel five: The show starts as Rob motions over to Mr. Jones who has a nervous smile and weakly raises his hand to signal hello to the camera.

Rob: This is Rob Hamhock and on Movies You View, I have a special guest. My original partner on this long running movie critique series.

Rob: Long time viewers, I'm sure you remember Forsythe Jones.

Mr. Jones: If we haven't outlived them all, Rob.

Page 8

Panel one: Mr. Jones and Rob relax as they both seem comfortable and at peace like two weary travelers finally coming home after a long time apart. The flat screen shows the title CLASSIC REVIEW: KONQUEST OF THE KOMBATIVE KARATE KUKUMBERS

Rob: Ha Ha. Right you are.

Rob: And now, to begin the show, we'll review a classic movie being re-released you and I both remember well...

Mr. Jones: Right you are, Rob.

Mr. Jones: Our classic review is KONQUEST OF THE KOMBATIVE CARATE KUKUMBERS.

Panel three: Rob and Mr. Jones look over at each other and nod.

Rob and Mr. Jones: And we can both say that after all this time....

Mr. Jones: Go see this re-release!

Rob: Still stay home!

Panel four: Mr. Jones and Rob realize that they are both still not on the same page as both show hints of frustration.

Panel five: Mr. Jones and Rob are both darted to their feet and are bumping chests as they look like they are ready to fight. The director becomes frantic as he waves his arms meaninglessly for the two to stop.

Rob: Are you crazy! This movie is horrible! Just look at the title! I know you don't have any hair, but you didn't yank your brain out!

Mr. Jones: The title is clever! The acting is fun! The story makes fun of itself! It's a laugh a minute! You could see that if you weren't still the same pompous, bloated twit after all these years!

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead is wheeling back the near empty cake cart as he is munching on a piece of German Chocolate cake as he watches the melee on the set as Mr. Jones placed Rob in an arm bar and various staff viewers try to pull Mr. Jones off of him.

Jughead: So before the Val the Vampire and Warren the Wolfman factions on Midlight, there was this.

Panel two: Jughead looks on sadly as Mr. Jones and Rob are being held apart by various staff members as the two middle age men look like they want to tear into each other like lions.

Jughead: Poor dad. He was really looking forward to this. I don't know what could make this worse for us Jones males.

Panel three: Jughead is suddenly pounced on from behind by a purple, bulging rectangular eye monster as Jughead is propelled forward into camera view.

Cake Monster: YOU EAT CAKE MONSTER CAKES! NOW CAKE MONSTER EAT YOUR HEAD!

Jughead: YIKES!!

Panel four: Mrs. Jones, Jellybean, and Hotdog are all sitting on the couch as they watch the show on their TV and each have blank expressions at what is happening. Mrs. Jones has the remote control to the TV on the couch arm rest on her right.

TV: WHAT KIND OF HUMAN BEING WOULD LIKE A MOVIE LIKE THIS?!

TV: THE KIND WHO PUNCHES YOU ON YOUR FAT, LYING MOUTH!!

TV: HELP! HE'S NIBBLING ON MY NOGGIN!!

TV: CAAAAAKE!!!

Panel five: Mrs. Jones has the remote in her hand as she changes channels to the approval of both Jellybean and Hot Dog.

Mrs. Jones: Let's watch something more educational...like professional wrestling.

Page 10

Panel one: A shot of Mr. Jones and Jughead driving home. Mr. Jones is driving the car as he has his right hand bandage from where he hurt it hitting Rob. Jughead has his head bandaged from where he was attacked by the Cake Monster. Both act somber as they travel along.

Jughead: How's your hand?

Mr. Jones: Hurts, but at least it gave the loudmouth a fat lip...it'll heal up.

Panel two: Mr. Jones turns to Jughead as Jughead feels his nose with his left hand and his right ear with his right hand.

Mr. Jones: How's your head?

Jughead: Long nose, two big ears, never was much to look at before monster snack time...I'll live.

Panel three: Mr. Jones goes back to focusing on driving sadly as Jughead looks out his window and notices something that gives him an idea.

Panel four: Jughead turns to his dad as his dad begins to light up in joy.

Jughead: Hey, want to kill time and watch one of the greatest movies ever made?


Panel five: The Jones car begins to pull into a movie theater that has a sign reading: RIVERDALE MOVIE PLEX:  1. KONQUEST OF THE KOMBATIVE
CARATE KUKUMBERS. 2. NEW CRUSADERS: THE EVEN NEWER ADVENTURES The movie theater parking lot seems to be packed as various cars pull in and more people are lining up to go into the theater and get their ticket.

Mr. Jones in the car: You're a great son.

Jughead in the car: Helps that I inherited good taste in movies.

THE END.
#42
 


Page 1

Panel one: Jughead is eating at the kitchen table with his family as the table is stacked with food from chicken, various pies, a roast, cakes, a roast and a stack of pancakes. Naturally, Jughead has the most on his plate of all the items listed. Jellybean, in her high chair, is right next to him as she is fiddling around with mashed potatoes and peas with her spoon and fork. Mr. Jones has pancakes, toast and a glass of orange juice as his breakfast. Mrs. Jones has a cup of coffee, a pancake, and cereal. Mr. Jones is reading a newspaper that has only one article WATCH KEVIN KELLER. Mrs. Jones is talking with Jughead as she seems thrilled about her news.

Jughead: Wow. Great breakfast, Mom. Finally got enough desert for my breakfast!

Mrs. Jones: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and what better way to celebrate that the entire family is going on a cruise to—

Off-panel: WRAP! WRAP IT UP!

Panel two: Suddenly a man dressed like a director (wearing a red beret, sunglasses, a red and black sweater, and kakis) is yelling into a megaphone as the Jones family turns towards him. The walls in the kitchen begin to shift and slant as if they are being moved away from the family.

Director: THAT'S IT! CUT! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU'RE NO LONGER GETTING PAID!!

Director: JUGHEAD HAS BEEN CANCELED!!!

Panel three: A top angle view as we can see that we are in a film studio as the walls of the kitchen are being carried away by several workers. The director is talking with Mr. and Mrs. Jones as they are both unhappy with what is going on. Jughead is looking on in shock as two crew members are carrying away the kitchen table from him. Jellybean is undoing her tied up hair as her eyebrows are furrowed and her cheeks are puffed up in rage. In the background of the studio, we can see a set for Katy Keene being set up as another director is going over what to do with Katy and her supporting actors. Also there is a snack table where Chuck, Dilton, Trula are at.

Mr. Jones: Canceled?! I actually have real daughters going into college this year! Yale! I need this job!

Mrs. Jones: Forget you! What about me! I do NOT want to go back to the soaps!

Jughead: Um...what is going on?

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead turns in his chair to watch his parents storm off the remainder of the set as the entire Jones house is being moved away. In the background of the studio, a guy wearing a Cosmos, The happy martian costume is skipping along with a line of kids wear the exact same Cosmo, The Happy Martian T-shirts and wearing Cosmo hats. Jellybean is climbing off her high chair.

Mr. Jones: I have a contract!

Director: Look, bud, the show's got the reviews, but not enough views. It has to go! The studio plans on expanding Kevin Keller to a full hour.

Panel two: Jughead is standing up as a worker is taking his chair as he looks over at Jellybean has her arms folded at her chest as she glares off into the distance as a worker is carrying her high chair over his shoulders.

Jughead: Okay, Jellybean, I think that reality has done a flip and gone wonkers on us.

Panel two: Jellybean turns and yells at Jughead as Jughead is caught by surprise.

Jellybean: I ain't yer sister, mac! Not even pretend no more!

Panel three: Jellybean is storming off as she pushes past two interns carrying coffee, causing the drinks to spill on the ground as several angry producers look on. Jughead is scratching his head as he looks on in confusion with his hat tilted to his left.

Jellybean: So I ain't gotta put up wit' your methodical like acting like none no more neither!

Panel four: Everything has now been removed as Jughead is a barren area of the studio as producers, writers, and various directors and staff rush around him, like a rock in the river. A camera man has lost control of fork lift as he chasing after a panicked actor dressed like Indiana Jones.

Jughead: My life is a show? My parents aren't my parents? Jellybean can talk—well not grammatically well--?

Jughead: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead licks his lips as he looks over at the snack table as Chuck and Dilton are talking with one another as they talk with each other and don't notice Jughead. Trula is at the table as she is drinking a glass of water.

Jughead: I think a bite or two will recharge my brain so I can figure out what's going on!

Panel two: Jughead is skipping towards the snack table as Dilton and Chuck are continuing their conversation before they make room for Jughead.

Dilton: So I'm only getting a limited series, but I think it could get picked up for more episodes...

Chuck: Dilt, m'man, I thought the same thing with mine, but I'm just the occasional friend for Archie or—

Jughead: Pardon gents.

Panel three: Jughead looks over his shoulders as Dilton and Chuck look back at Jughead and whisper as they walk away.

Dilton whispering: Poor guy. He's so immersed in his character...

Chuck whispering: Yeah, can you believe anyone would wear that hat outside of the studio?

Panel four: Jughead is adjusting his hat as he is about at the snack table as a depressed Trula is deep in thought.

Jughead: This is weird. Real weird—and I'm already a unique and peculiar type guy as is!

Page 4

Panel one: Jughead is getting a piece of cake as he talks with Trula, who looks like she is about to cry.

Trula: It was...it was nice working with you.

Jughead: Not for me it wasn't.

Panel two: Jughead puts his plate down as he tries to regain himself and points an accusing finger at Trula as Trula responds in bewilderment.

Jughead: Ah-ha! Now I get it! This is all your doing! You got everyone to go along and got Mr. Lodge to set this up!

Trula: What? Mr. Lodge is just a character and...

Panel three: Trula begins to pull her hair off to reveal that it's just a wig as she really has short blond hair. Jughead looks on in complete shock and has his hands holding down his hair just so it won't come off as he lets the piece of cake with a giant bite out of it fall to the floor.

Trula: Sigh. The producers have gone over this with your for years. Why should I bother playing amateur psychologist when I'm fired from even acting like one from now on?

Panel four: Trula hands her curly haired red wig to Jughead as Jughead takes it hesitantly in both hands as he holds it away from his chest as his eyes are wide and his face is pale. Trula is leaving as tear rolls down her right face cheek.

Trula: Look, I don't have a previous series to go back to and no one's talked to me and I don't think they will...so I'm just going to leave now.

Panel five: Trula is gone as Jughead looks at the wig as he begins to regain his senses.

Panel six: Jughead drops the wig and jumps away in pure fright. In the background, Wilbur is being carried off by four security guards as he twists and protests. On the ground is a sign that reads: GIVE WILBUR ANOTHER CHANCE!!

Jughead: YAAAHH!!

Page 5

Panel one: Jughead is eating a cupcake as he is watching a group of writers at a table writing on their laptops. One of the writers' laptop screens has: ARCHIE LIKES BETTY. ARCHIE LIKES VERONICA. ARCHIE FALLS DOWN. REGGIE MAKES JOKE.  The other writer is just playing solitaire as he looks over and gives the other writer a thumbs up.

Jughead: That does read like a typical day for Arch...

Panel two: Jughead turns around as Archie runs towards him.

Archie: Hey! I just heard the news about your show! 

Jughead: Hear anything about my mental breakdown?

Panel three: Archie puts an arm around Jughead's shoulder as he begins to lead him away from the writers as each one is now typing using only a finger at a time with one writer furious that an animated paperclip is on the screen.

Archie: Look amigo, you had a good run. Hey when you spin off from the flag ship, the boat will stay afloat for awhile, but it'll leak eventually.

Panel four: Archie is continuing to act arrogant as Jughead turns his head as he sees Reggie wheeling a child around and skipping along as he does so. Jughead turns his head to see Reggie as he looks on incredulously.

Archie: I mean, you had to know that no matter how hard you put yourself into the character, it had no legs, right?

Jughead: I walk just fine. I just don't like moving in general.

Panel five: Jughead is walking away as Archie begins to text on his cellphone. Reggie has stopped and is being nice as he hands the kid a piece of cake and a balloon as he reacts like he scored a game winning touchdown after seeing the child smile as he jumps up in the air. Jughead's head is swimming as he dimly walks away.

Archie: For old times sake, I'll see if I can get you back on my show a bit more.

Jughead: Archie is Reggie, Reggie is nice...

Jughead: It's like throwing a twilight zone into the outer limits!

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is watching near a football scene with a backdrop and fake field grass as Moose is waving off Midge as Midge is screaming at Moose. Moose is putting on a red robe and putting on reading glasses as he walks away from Midge while giving her the hand as if to block her from approaching him. In the background, the Riverdale football extras are trying to hold the fake and overly sized goal post up as it begins to fall as the director and producers look on giving various hand gestures as directions to them.

Midge: I hate having to work with you all the time!

Moose: You think you have it tough, my dear?! Try having to act dumber than you in every scene!! I should win an Emmy!!

Panel two: Ethel is wearing a Mecha Sally costume as she is talking with Nancy and Tomoko as they look on in bewilderment. Jughead is just beside them listening on as Melody is walking by with several fanboys in Josie and the Pussycat shirts follow after her with hearts in their eyes and over their heads.

Ethel: --Yeah, the actress who plays Sally had a nervous reaction to the paint, so they're moving me over! It might be permanent if she never wakes up!!

Panel three: Jughead is looking on at a music set as Lil' Jinx and her supporting cast are dressed up in different color suits and sunglasses as they begin to do the Gangnam style dance. The Dance set has various colored tiles lighting up in their color as they begin with Lil' Jinx up front. Her dad is behind everyone else as he is struggling to keep up.
Lil' Jinx: Do it Gangnam Style!

Jughead: Wow.

Panel four: Jughead is sitting in the audience as a stage has been set up for the Betty and Veronica show. Up in the rafters are signs for applause as a stage worker is hanging off the BETTY AND VERONICA SHOW sign just over the stage.  The audience is made up of various fan girls who hold up posters and banners of their favorite between the two girls. The teenage male audience looks on and has various signs like: MARRY ME BETTY and ONLY YOU RONNIE. A set of fans for Betty and a set of fans for Veronica are looking and staring down at each other as if preparing to attack. Down the set, the Cooper living room, Betty and Veronica are arguing as Jughead shrugs his left shoulder as begins to eat a candy bar.

Betty: I'm the star of the show!

Veronica: You couldn't be a star if you had four more extra points to go with the one on your head!

Jughead: Huh. At least this seems somewhat familiar.

Page 7

Panel one: Jughead is walking backstage as Svenson is carrying a large ladder over his head and Mr. Weatherbee is practicing being angry as he holds up his script.

Jughead: I just don't get it. My life isn't entertainment. I try to limit my days to just eating and sleeping.

Panel two: Jughead tries to talk to Archie as Archie stomps past him down a hallway.

Jughead: Speaking of...

Jughead: Hey, Arch, you have a trailer with food and a place to sleep, right?

Archie: Not now, bit player!

Panel three: Jughead looks on as Archie is arguing with Kevin Keller who is wearing a fancy sparkling blue suit and matching pants as the paparazzi surround him and take his picture as he soaks it all in with a giant smile.

Archie: Who do you think you are? I built this place!

Kevin Keller: I'm the new big star in this studio! And my light shines over the entire world!   

Panel four:   Archie and Kevin Keller begin to trade insults as the paparazzi take pictures. Jughead is being blinded by the light as he attempts to shield himself with his arms and turns his upperbody away.

Jughead: Wow, he must have meant that literally!!

Jughead: That light!! It's blinding!! And I've got my eyes closed!!

Page 8

Panel one: Jughead is suddenly sitting up on his couch as he knocks a magazine with a picture of a blond hair kid wearing a bowler hat with two feathers as he is drinking five sodas at once while daydream about a unicorn headlocking a dragon. A beam of light coming from a window is hitting where Jughead's head had been. Jughead's head imprint can be seen on the couch cushion. In front of the table is a coffee table covered in chips, cheetos, various candy wrappers, and a pizza put in between two hamburger buns with a bite taken out of it.

Jughead: No don't cancel me!! I'll put juggling into my act, I swear!!!

Panel two: Jughead sits up as he looks around to see that everything is normal.

Jughead: Wait...I must have fallen asleep.

Panel three: Jughead looks at the window where the curtain is pulled back and a beam of light is shining where his head was.

Jughead: Yeah, that's where that bright light came from...

Panel four: Jughead looks down at the magazine as he begins to pick it up.

Jughead: And I know what caused that horrible nightmare!

Panel five: Jughead is holding up the magazine and reading the cover that has the blond soda drinking kid wearing the bowler hat with the headline: ARNIE ARNOLD'S PAL DERBY DALTON....CANCELED.

Jughead: My favorite show on the Friday night line up. Canceled. It's enough to make my Tivo weep. 

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead puts his feet on the coffee table as he slouches as he begins to turn his TV on with his remote. Jughead is taking another bite out of the pizza burger.

Jughead: Well, if sleeping won't help me cope with my overwhelming sadness about my show being canceled...

Panel two: Over shot just above the tip of Jughead's hat as the TV is turned on to Entertainment Sometimes (ES) with a thirty year old woman on the TV with a screen of Derby Dalton just to her side. The ES is down at the corner right of the TV screen

Jughead: ...I'll watch another show instead.

Peggy Praddle: Breaking news for you Derby Dalton fans. It seems that our beloved bowler hat wearing, soda drinking, daydreamer is not done just yet.

Panel three: Jughead is jumping on the couch as he is ecstatic about the news about his show. The pizza slice and buns fly apart in the air.

Peggy Praddle: Sources tell Entertainment Sometimes that the producers and studio will instead revamp the laze about to fit with today's demographics!

Jughead: YAHOO!!

Jughead: After all these years, I knew they couldn't deny the public a beloved icon like Derby Dalton!!

Panel four: Jughead's mood is killed as he is bent over prepared to jump again as he turns towards the TV apprehensively.

TV: The show will be on a hiatus until they figure out whatever it is they want to do to make him kewl to today's audience.

Jughead: Huh. Hopefully it doesn't involve him saying "kewl".

Page 10

Panel one: Jughead is standing up as he scratches his chin and squints one eye as he is thinking hard about what the revamp of Derby Dalton could be.

Jughead: But it does beg the question: What will our favorite character be like when he finally returns to us all?

Panel two: Giant panel and a close-up on Jughead's head as he smiles, winks at the reader, and gives a thumbs up as he seems happy and sure of what will come.

Jughead: But with the fine company and staff of hard workers who make great entertainment for us all, I don't think we have to worry!

THE END.

#43
Fan Fiction / Jughead in Run, Run, Run!
July 05, 2016, 04:17:20 PM
 Page one:

Panel one: The setting is Pickens Park. Trula Twyst is standing by a hot dog cart as the hot dog cart bender is giving some six year old kid a two foot long hot dog as he holds out both arms to grab it. Trula is looking at her watch as she waits patiently.

Trula Twyst: It is just past one, the wind is carrying the smell of hot dogs in a northwestern degree at 2 mph...

Panel two: Trula sees Jughead walking along a path with Archie as Jughead blissfully is sniffing the air. Trula looks on as everything is happening as she summerized. The small boy is holding the hot dog up and is taking it down by giant bites as the hot dog tender looks on in awe.

Trula Twyst: Do I know that nose.

Panel three: Jughead notices Trula as Trula is confidently walking towards him and Archie. Jughead is dismayed while Archie jokes with Jughead.

Archie: Looks like you're Trula's tracking device is at full capacity, huh, Jughead?

Jughead: Grummble.

Panel four: Jughead zooms past Trula, taking her by surprise as she raises both eyebrows as her hair is blown back. Jughead leaves a trail of dust behind him as Archie jumps back.

Jughead: Let's see if her tracking device is any match for my warp drive!!

ZOOOM

Page 2:

Panel one: Trula looks on in awe with Archie as they watch Jughead streak across the park, zooming past several people, leaping over people having a picnic while grabbing a  chicken drumstick from someone and circling around several trees before continuing to run away.

Archie: He's first at the lunch line for a reason.

Panel two: Trula begins to run after Jughead as Archie has turned his attention to two attractive female joggers who wave at him.

Trula: If he thinks he can run away from me like that, he's got another thing coming!

Panel three: Jughead is in heavily forested area as he looks around nervously.

Jughead: I think I got a good head start on her...but I've seen locations like this in horror movies that never bode well for the innocent.

Panel four: Jughead turns his head in surprise as he hears Trula's voice.

Trula off-panel: Y-you (huff puff) just...wait...!

Panel five: A completely exhausted and fatigued weakly runs towards Jughead. Her face is red cheeked and beading with sweat, she is breathing heavily, and her hair is a mess. Jughead looks on as he happily notes the situation.

Trula: ...there...! Right (huuufff huff) there...!!!

Page 3:

Panel one: Jughead has his chest pushed out as he looks on happily as Trula Twyst is bent over in front of him trying to catch her breath after running as fast as she could after Jughead.

Jughead: Trula, why it doth seem that you are a wee bit out of shape.

Panel two: Trula glares up at Jughead as she is sucking in air as Jughead pats her on her back as he soaks in the situation and the advantage he has over Trula.

Jughead: Hey! Don't give me that look! All criminal masterminds have henchmen do their leg work for a reason!

Trula: Juggers...!!

Panel three: Jughead zooms away from Trula as he mockingly motions for her to follow. Trula's hair is kicked up by the back draft of Jughead's running speed.

Jughead: Tell you what, I'll wait for you at the other end of the park!

ZOOOOMMM

Trula: !!!

Panel four: Trula begins to jog as she is now carrying her high heel shoes in one hand and is taking breaths in and out as she vainly tries to catch up with Jughead. Archie and the female joggers are running past Trula. Archie is in between the two and he is skipping along happily

Trula : I hope he trips over a tortoise and a hare mistakes his nose for a carrot!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Jughead is drinking a soda in a Styrofoam cup as he is lying on a park bench happily enjoying the day as a penguin and a line of ducks walk past him. By the bench is a litter bin. The bin is filled with Styrofoam cups, supplied by Jughead.

Jughead: Ah.

Jughead: Summersault cola! Refreshing energy boost that makes my taste buds go topsy turvy!

Panel two: Jughead looks down the path as Trula looks like she is about to collapse as she vainly keeps running to catch up with Jughead. Jughead is throwing the cup away in  the nearby trash bin.

Jughead: I'd almost admire her determination if I didn't detest the rest of her.

Panel three: Jughead looks up as Trula's arms hang loosely and she is about to give way it seems as beads of sweat are pouring from her face.

Trula: weezzz weezzz

Jughead: What, is that some sort of new language?

Panel four: Jughead sits up and gives Trula room to sit on the bench. Trula practically collapse on the bench as she has her head tilted just over the bench and her arms stretched along the top.

Jughead: Take a seat. You've earned it.

Trula: huff huff huff puff!

Page 5

Panel one: Jughead is stretching his legs as Trula weakly looks over at him as she is still trying to get her wind back and cool off.

Jughead: You're brain is a little too busy telling your lungs to breath in and out fresh air, so I'll just run things down for you:

Panel two: Jughead begins to run in place as Trula snarls at him.

Jughead: I'm the hare, you're the tortoise. And this little hare can eat and sleep all he wants because we're not racing. We're playing keep away.

Panel three: Jughead points at Trula as Trula turns away, not liking that what Jughead is saying is true.

Jughead: Go ahead and plan where I'll be and wait. For every one step of yours, I'm taking twenty!

Trula: Hmph. You're mistaking cowardice for intelligence.

Panel four: Jughead turns his head to his right to see Ethel waving and blowing kisses at him as she is running at him from a good distance away.

Ethel: Loverboy!

Jughead: Yikes!

Panel five: Jughead is zooming off again as Trula jumps off the bench as Ethel is zooming down the hill.

Jughead: And she actually can match me step for step!

Trula: Get back here!! We're not finished, Forsythe Pendleton Jones the third!!

Page 6

Panel one: Trula looks towards Ethel as Ethel is running straight at Trula at full steam ahead.

Trula: ...I now sympathize with roadkill.

Panel two: Trula bends his waist and shields herself with her arms as she prepares to get run down. Ethel stops on her heels just inches from Trula.

SKRRREEE

Ethel: Oh. Hi, Trula!

Panel three: Trula straightens up and brushes herself off as Ethel kindly talks with her. In the sky the penguin, now using a hand glider, is flying in the lead of a V formation with the ducks from earlier

Ethel: A great day in the park, huh? Bright shiny day and Jughead Jones playing hard to get.

Trula: Oh, it's been just wonderful, Ethel.

Panel four: Trula begins to chase after Jughead again as Ethel cups her chin as she wonders what is going on.

Trula: Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm going to catch Juggers and break his kneecaps for him!

Page 7.

Panel one: Trula turns to see Ethel running backwards and keeping up with her with ease as Ethel shrugs her shoulders and tilts her head towards Trula as Trula is flabbergasted.

Ethel: I don't pry in you and your mind games...but you're running in my game now and you might as well be standing still at your pace.

Trula: ...!!!

Panel two: Trula stops as she takes deep breaths and clenches her fists. Ethel stops running when Trula does.

Ethel: Jughead may seem like a placid, slow type of hunk, but he can go zero to warpspeed inbetween the ding and dong of the lunch bell!


Panel three: Trula wipes sweat off her forehead as she has a determined look as she makes a declaration. Ethel looks on and thinks to herself.

Trula: It doesn't matter!! I'll match him stride for stride somehow...!!

Panel four: Ethel volunteers as Trula is taken back by Ethel's offer of aid as both eyes widen.

Ethel: And I'll help you!

Panel five: Trula questions Ethel as Ethel shrugs her shoulders

Trula: Why would you want to help me when it would take away an advantage you might have on me regarding Jughead?

Ethel: Why...?

Page 8:

Panel one: Ethel happily gives her explanation as Trula is indifferent and sneers to herself.

Ethel: Well, we're friends, right?

Panel two: Trula's blunt response stuns Ethel.

Trula: Wrong.

Ethel: Huh?

Panel three: Trula explains her stance on Ethel with an evil smirk as Ethel listens with sad puppy dog eyes.

Trula: We're rivals. While I believe all rivals have to show respect to one another, friendship they don't. If you did help me—I'd use you for all I could and forget about you right after.

Panel four: Ethel is sincerely hurt by Trula's words.

Ethel: Oh. Well then...

Panel five: Ethel is suddenly happy again as she smiles at Trula which confounds Trula.

Ethel: Even if you don't consider me your friend, I think of you as mine!

Panel six: Ethel has a shoulder around Trula like a friend would as they walk together. Ethel is as happy and kind as she normally is while Trula is uneasy with Ethel and her continued goodness.

Ethel: Now c'mon! We'll start your training implement! It'll be loads of fun!



Page 9.

Panel one: It is a new day in Pickens Park as Ethel has tied five pound weights to Trula's ankles as Trula is lying on the ground under a shade tree and raising her left leg up as she strains. Ethel is always going to be wearing the same coach uniform (blue jumpsuit with whistle) while Trula's look is shorts, a t-shirt, her hair tied back, and sneakers as she trains. Above the shade tree are three squirrels (Wally, Nutmeg, and Oaky-Doaky for those following my fan fics). Wally is directing the other two as they push along a long line of acorns down a tree branch as the acorns land on a duck's head as a penguin looks on holding a small umbrella.

Ethel: That's it! You need to build up your leg muscles as fast as we can!

Panel two: Trula and Ethel are taking long ridiculous strides through the park on another day. As they gracefully do a high step over three squirrels and their small castle made of acorns, several ballerinas just passing by in the park look on jealously. The Penguin has tried to make a castle out of a pile of leaves, but not successfully.

Ethel: Stretch those calfs! Long strides! Long Strides!

Panel three: Ethel and Trula are doing yoga with a picnic cloth under them as both have their right and left legs over their back. Both seem to be having no problem as they talk casually. The three squirrels are next to them trying to imitate them. Wally has his arms and legs behind his back as he is rolled up like a ball, Nutmeg has his tail wrapped around his head, and Oaky-Doaky is barely keeping his balence standing on one foot as the penguin gives him a thumbs up for a job well done.

Ethel: You're pretty good at this!

Trula: Before psychology, gymnastics was my main interest...

Panel four: Trula and Ethel are chugging a gallon of water as several on lookers look on. At their feet are several empty gallon bottles of water. The three squirrels are looking on, as they ponder how they can play along with the girls as the penguin sneaks up on them with a water balloon.

Ethel: Glub Glub. Gotta stay hydrated. Can't stop for water during a chase. Juggie's like a camel.

Trula: Glub Glub!

Panel five: Ethel is tying Trula's shoes in knots that would make the Gordian Knot look like a two year old tied it as Trula looks down at her shoes. In the background, three wet squirrels are chasing after the penguin as they run past a man walking an extremely hair sheep dog.

Ethel: Most important of all: Always tie your shoes tight. Tripping while chasing Jughead Jones is like falling out of a plane.

Trula: Shouldn't I have circulation in my feet?

Ethel: I wouldn't risk it.


Panel 10:

Panel one:  In Pickens Park, Jughead is biting down on a pretzel as he talks with Archie. Jughead smiling ear to ear as he eats and hops on one foot as he sticks the other straight out. Archie's pockets are inside out to show where the money came for Jughead's snack. Behind them at the pretzel cart, a man is putting a sign on his cart that reads: EMPTY as a long line of kids look on sadly. Next to the cart is a trash bin filled with wrappers after Jughead's trip

Caption: A few days later...

Archie: You mean you haven't seen Trula since you ran her legs off, Jughead?

Jughead: Yep. Last I heard she was in the ICU for 3rd degree blisters!

Panel two: Jughead is happily bragging about his accomplishment while Archie turns around as he notices someone behind them.

Jughead:  Her evil little curly haired, twisted mind was willing, but her flesh was weak.

Archie: Um, Jugster, I think you should forget about flesh because—

Panel three: Jughead turns around and nearly drops his pretzel as he sees Trula Twyst wearing a blue head band with her hair tied up and wearing a yellow and blue tank top and shorts in a runner's stance before a race.

Archie: --Because she looks like she's out for blood!

Panel four: Jughead is zooming away as Trula follows behind as her blaze trail nearly knocks Archie off his feet.

Jughead: Dressing up like an evil volleyball coach doesn't mean you can catch me, Trula!

ZOOM

Trula: You should talk about how someone else dresses, Juggers!

ZIP

Archie: Yow! Look at them go!

Page 11.

Panel one: Jughead is looking back as he runs as Trula is catching up with him. The three squirrels and the penguin are standing on the side of the path the two teens are running on, waving racing flags as if signaling to the two like they were race cars. The penguin has three lumps on its head.

Jughead: Yikes! Did Dilton give her a rocket pack or something!?!

Panel two: Trula is catching up with Jughead as she tries to reach for him. Jughead turns his head to look and begins to panic.

Panel three Trula lunges and tackles Jughead from behind as Jughead falls at the feet of a pair of sneakers.

Trula: Gotcha!!

Jughead: Ack

WHUMPP

Panel four: Trula is on top of Jughead's back as she is pinning his arms behind his back as Jughead struggles to free himself.

Jughead: Who installed the Mach 5's engine in the empty space where your heart should be?!

Trula: Maybe the same person who never gave your belly a bottom. Now, let's talk about how--

Person belonging to the sneakers: Um...

Panel five: Trula and Jughead look up to see Ethel looking down on the two as she is disappointed. In her hands are two movie theater tickets.

Ethel: ...I guess you're busy with Jughead now...?

Page  12

Panel one: Trula puts a knee to Jughead's back to keep him in place as she shows off her catch.

Trula: You can say that.

Jughead: Ow! You got your cloven hooves on my spine?! Ow!! I'm a brittle boy!!

Panel two: Ethel dejectedly walks away as Trula shows signs of guilt for the first time in the story.

Ethel: Oh. Well, I actually I just won two tickets to the Riverdale Matinee showing of Daylight: Fangs and Hearts and thought that you might want to come, Trula...

Ethel: ...but you've already gotten what you've wanted.

Trula: ...Ethel wait.

Panel three: Trula is letting Jughead up as he scrambles to his feet and stumbles away like he had just been given a pardon by the grim reaper.

Trula: All I wanted to do today was teach Jughead that you can never run away from your problems. So the rest of my day is open.


Panel four: Ethel and Trula are walking off as together. Ethel is having a conversation with Trula as Trula thinks to herself as she smiles and rolls her eyes as she listens.

Trula thinking: Sigh, how pathetic of me. Still--I guess it's impossible not to like some people.


THE END.
#44
Doing something a little different for fun...and two of my documents are not working and I have to redo them and I don't want to go insane from rage.

Super Suckers is written by Darin Henry and drawn by acclaimed Archie artist Jeff Shultz. It's really good and I've written up reviews on the issues. So you should really check it out. The issues are super cheap and much better written. And drawn and colored and edited and...

http://sitcomics.net/

So go the site and check it out. Other titles are available as well.

Anyway....




Super Suckers: The Ha-Ha-Haunting of RHO RHO RHO House


Page 1:


Caption: Drawn in front of a live studio audience.

Panel one: The setting is the Dixon College Café. Jess and Kelly are sitting at a nearby table with Jess looking over her Shakespeare text book as she is sipping from a 16.9 oz bottle of blood. Kelly is on the other side as she is in fang mode as she looks over at a nearby football player (in full gear minus the helmet) talking with a cheerleader as he drinks a bottle of Fuss Soda  At another table an overweight teen is eating a giant burger as the patty, tomato, pickles, and ketchup all slip out of the bun onto his table, splattering his shirt. At another table, two female college students are holding hands as they share a soda. Walking past the girls is a male college student reading a book titled Hang Gliding 101

Up front of the café is a bar and grill where a cook is flipping over patties with ease as several people wait for their burger be put together. At the salad bar a college student is sneezing past the guard as everyone in the line takes a step back and pulls their plates or bowls back as they now change their minds.


Jess: So, A Shakespeare tragedy is starts with the cast together and splintering off...

Jess: ...And a Shakespeare comedy is the cast apart and brought together. Understand, Kelly?

Kelly: Yeah, Jess—it's sad that my fangs are not in that mountain of beef's neck, and I'll be laughing when they are.

Panel two: Jess shoves the bottle of blood in front of Kelly's face as Kelly snaps out of her blood lust.

Jess: Here, you're not yourself when you're bloodlusty. Have some Stewartade.

Panel three: Kelly begins to drink several gulps of the bottle of blood as tilts her head back.

Kelly: Cover the fangs, down my tummy; keeps me from eating someone hunky and yummy.

Panel four: Jess smiles in amusement as Kelly puts the bottle to the side of their table.

Jess: Better?

Kelly: Yepper doddle-doo.

Jess: Bring yourself back to normal by guzzling a cold shower.

Page 2

Panel one: Jess and Kelly eavesdrop as the quarterback is talking to two offensive linemen (also in football gear) walking up to congratulate him. The QB reaches back and puts his Fuss energy drink bottle next to the bottle of blood.

O-line guy one: Hey, Zack Attack! Coach just named you captain!

Panel two: Zack pumps his fist as he is excited as the cheerleader gives him a kiss on the cheek. The second O-line guy motions for Zack to follow them. Behind them, Jess rolls her eyes as she couldn't care less, but Kelly listens intently.

Zack: Alright, babe! Now I know for sure my sorority brothers will elect me King!

Second O-line guy: C'mon, brah. Let's put your picture on the Wall of Honor and save some time!

Panel three: The QB follows after the o-line guys and the cheerleader as he reaches back and grabs the bottle of blood instead of the energy drink as Jess looks on wide eyed. Kelly is sad as she looks away with her left elbow on the table and her left face cheek in her open palm.

Zack: Ch'yeah! I'll be immortalized!

Kelly: (Sigh) It must be nice to be immortalized.


Panel four: Jess turns to talk to Kelly as Kelly raises her head up to talk with Jess. Just at the end of the panel as spray of blood can be seen as a disgusted teen wearing glasses and a flack jacket looks on with his tongue sticking out in disgust. Jess sarcastically replies.

Kelly: I mean what have we done here in Dixon College that matters?

Jess: Yeah. Improving our academics and receiving degrees to help insure financial benefits in a setting that promotes social skills and free thinking is not what college is about.


Panel five: Kelly waves her arms as she obviously did not get that Jess was being sarcastic as Jess gives the reader an aside glance.

Kelly: Exactly!

Page 3

Panel one: Jess and Kelly are walking away from their table as Jess has her Shakespeare text book under her arm. A guy not paying attention while using a selfie stick is slipping in the leftover pool of blood caused by the QB spitting it out.

Jess: Look, I know I'm not the most social sort--

Kelly: Yeah! No kiddin'!

Panel two: Jess turns her head and glares at Kelly as Kelly realizes she spoke without thinking.

Panel three: Kelly, has her eyes closed, smiles with her two index fingers over where her fangs should be on her mouth, and looks just adorable as Jess rolls her eyes and smirks as she is amused by Kelly's adorable expression.

Kelly: BVFF. Best Vampire Friends Forever.

Panel four: Jess and Kelly are walking outside of the café and onto the campus. An elderly campus cop on a golf cart is driving recklessly as he adjusts his thick glasses as several college students and a professor jump out of the way.

Jess: What I was getting at is that I'm pretty sure every frat or sorority has some sort of bronzed keg or plastic tiara they give out.

Panel five: Jess looks on as Kelly runs down the sidewalk as she is overjoyed and pumping her fist in the air..

Kelly: You're right, Jess!

Kelly: And I'm going to win it!

Page 4

Panel one: Kelly is opening the door to the RHO RHO RHO Sorority House as she has a determined look on her face. Kelly is slamming the door open with one hand to show how she's not going to hold back in her quest.

SFX: SLAM

Kelly: I'm not going to rest until I find what I'm searching for!

Kelly: I'll dig through the archives, scale the highest peaks, look between the cushions of the couch...

Panel two: Kelly takes a step inside to see a glass display showing various pictures of various girls throughout the year with the last one ending in 1996. Above the glass display is a banner reading: GOOD SAMARITANINA.

Kelly: ...Or I'll just turn my head slightly to the left.

Panel three: Kelly is looking over the glass display as she sees all the different pictures of girls from all the years as each have their own different hair styles and clothing pertaining to the year. The most important one is the girl from 1996 who is has brown hair, beady eyes, a smirk across her face, and is wearing a multi-colored blouse (Basically an evil Kelly from Saved by the Bell)

Kelly: "GOOD SAMARITANINA". This must be what I'm looking for.

Kelly: But what is it and why did it stop twenty years ago?

Panel four: Summer, Lyric, and Paisley are walking up to Kelly as Kelly stares at the glass case curiously. Summer and Lyric are super excited like normal while Paisley is deadpan as usual.

Summer: Kels-Bels, what are you looking at?

Lyric: What are you doing by the award case?

Paisley: The answer is the other's question.

Page 5

Panel one: Kelly is talking with the trio as Lyric points to Paisley as Paisley gives her a death glare.

Kelly: Just looking at this award case. You gals wouldn't happen to know what the Good Samaritanina is, would you?

Lyric: Paisley's pretty boring, so I bet she knows.

Paisley: I do know, but not because of that reason.

Panel two: Paisley is explaining what the Queen of RHO is.

Paisley: To put it simply, the Good Samaritanina was a created to help prove RHO RHO RHO was not just where girls partied and were idiots.

Paisley: The winner was voted on by who did the most charitable work and community projects throughout the year. And for all of her hard work, she just got a picture in a glass display.

Panel three: Kelly's happy reflection can be seen reflected in the glass display as she happily thinks about winning the award.

Kelly: So it's an award and the winner is remembered forever.

Paisley: You never heard of it until I just explained it to you.

Panel four: Lyric and Summer suddenly become alarmed as Kelly and Paisley continue to talk as Paisley shrugs her right shoulder.

Kelly: Well, I'd have remembered if they hadn't stopped.

Kelly: Um, why did they?

Paisley: That I don't know.

Summer: Wait I heard about this--!

Panel five: Summer and Lyric huddle together as they shake and their knees buckle. Paisley face palms at the notion of the supernatural being real while Kelly whistles innocently and rolls her eyes away from Paisley.

Summer: It's because of the ghost of Fran Wright!

Paisley: (Sigh) There is no such thing as ghosts or anything else supernatural.

Page 6

Panel one: Kelly and Lyric are listening as Summer tells her story. Paisley folds her arms and is ignored by the other girls yet again.

Summer: It began twenty years ago and every day was dark and every night stormy!

Paisley: That is astronomically and meteorologically impossible.

Panel two: Flash back panel of Fran Wright (Who has long big black hair and is wearing ringer tee with (blue with red on the ribbing at the sleeves and collar) and black knock off track pants as she helping collect can food at a food drive. Nearby is a kitten brushing up against a green recycling bin.

Caption: Fran Wright was this super nice pledge to RHO house who saved kittens from trees, organized food drives, and recycled because back then TV preached that all the time.

Panel three: Flash back panel as several other 90s dressed sorority members are gathered round her and thanking her. Two girls have old fashion game boys and have them connected by a USB cord. One girl is wearing a red shirt with a green cute lizard on it while the other is wearing a green shirt with a red cute turtle on it (Pokemon reference) On the wall is a poster of Shawn Michaels and the movie Fargo. In the background glaring at her, is the girl from the glass display, Emma Dotson.

Caption: Everyone loved her and she was a shoo-in to win...

Caption: ...Well, save for charter leader Emma Dotson, who swore to win by any means necessary. And she schemed up a devious plan to rid her of her rival.

Panel four: Flash back panel as Emma Dotson is pushing Fran Wright off the roof of the sorority house.

Caption: She told her a kid lost his kite on the roof and pushed her off.

Fran Wright: You'll pay for this! You and every RHO member as long as the Good Samaritanina exists!

Emma Dotson: Ch'yeah. Like, when and how, Little Miss Victim of Gravity Loser?

Panel five: Still a flashback only inside of the living quarters of RHO house as all heck has broken loose. Emma Dotson has her head rammed through the ceiling. A whirlwind spitting out hail is attacking various members. One member is flying through the air doing loops. Windows and doors are banging shut to show that Fran Wright's vengeful ghost is extracting her revenge.

Caption: Then bad stuff happened the next day.

Page 7

Panel one: Summer is finishing the story as Kelly and Lyric both have worried faces. Paisley is looking out a window where we can see sunshine and a bright blue sky despite the thunder sound affect. Paisley is the only one who pays the thunder coming from no where any attention.

Summer: ...And they decided to drop the whole Good Sammie contest before they dropped dead.

SFX: BAADOOOM

Paisley: Thunder--?

Panel two: Kelly is thinking as she has her index finger at her chin and has her tongue sticking out on her right cheek.

Kelly thinking: Okay, I need to process this information and think things through before I act.

Panel three: Kelly looks anxiously at the empty space near Emma Dotson's picture and imagines her photo there with her dressed like Cinderella with her picture being three times larger than the rest and having a jewel embedded golden frame.

Panel four: Kelly is enthusiastic as she makes a declaration to the girls. Summer and Lyric are instantly happy as Paisley looks on in disbelief.

Kelly: Spread the news, girls! The Good Samaritanina is back! Starting now and ending at the end of the week!

Summer: What a great idea!

Lyric: You're the best, pres!

Paisley: ...You two were scared out of your wits just two seconds ago.

Page 8

Panel one: Lyric and Summer are running out of RHO house as Paisley follows behind. Paisley has her smartphone out as she is sending a text to the RHO twitter account while the other two run out like lunatics. Paisley smiles at the girls entertained by their fruitless, optimistic attitudes.

Summer: I'll tell everyone on the left side of campus!

Lyric: And I'll take care of the right!

Paisley: They do their best.

Panel two: Kelly is overjoyed as she pumps her fists in the air and jumps high enough to nearly hit the ceiling.

Kelly: Hah! This is great! All I need to do is win, and I'll be remembered in the halls of RHO RHO RHO forever and ever and ever...and ever!

Panel three: In the background, Kelly is walking away from the display as she sniffs the air as she picks up an aroma. In the foreground, the display case is suddenly filling up with blood with the image of a skull in lighter red being seen in the middle of the pool of plasma.

Kelly: Sniff Sniff.

Kelly: Umm. Where's that wonderful scent coming from...?

Caption: And now for a few brief messages from our sponsors!







#45
Fan Fiction / The Nonmisadventures of Jughead Jones
June 17, 2016, 02:39:31 PM



Page 1.

Panel one: Jughead is in his room as he is lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling as he has tried to fall asleep but can't. Scattered along his bed are various Mega Man and Sonic The Hedgehog comics.

Jughead: Sigh. I guess after eighteen hours, I just can't squeeze out a two hour nap.

Panel two: Jughead looks over the left side of his bed where we see several empty dishes with various food stains and a few chicken bones on the ground. Jughead pats his stomach complacently.

Jughead: And I've reached my quota of food for the next few hours.

Panel three: Jughead jumps out of bed as he slips on his shoes. Out a window, we can see a bird carrying a carrot wrapped in a note.

Jughead: As much as I don't like moving and having to be active...

Jughead: I hate being absolutely bored even more.

Page 2.

Panel one: Jughead is entering is in the living room as no one else is around.

Jughead: Where is everyone?

Panel two: Jughead snaps his fingers as he remembers.

Jughead: Oh yeah!

Jughead:  Mom and Pops took Jellybean to see great aunt Lenore today! They'll be gone for the rest of the afternoon.

Panel three: Jughead is sitting on the sofa as he is unimpressed by the TV shows he is clicking to.

TV: Now to follow the adventures of The Rabbit Man of Ken-

CLICK

TV: Hey, actors who can't find work acting doing things that other people do—

CLICK

TV: Follow the life of a kid who just eats, sleeps, and mooches off of friends in—

Panel four: Jughead drops the remote over his shoulder as it lands on the sofa as Jughead begins to walk towards a window.

Jughead: I'd rather read a book than watch a TV show like that!

Panel five: Jughead looks out the window to see Hot Dog's empty dog house. Coming out of a rabbit hole nearby is a battalion of bunnies wearing camouflage face paint crawling across the yard like they were going under a barbwire fence. One rabbit is wearing a military helmet with a carrot sticker on it as he motions for his bunny battalion to continue. A bunny wearing a surgeon's mask sticks its head out of the hole and motions at his wrist to tell them they have to hurry with whatever they are planning to do. The bird from earlier is preparing to pick up the surgeon bunny.

Jughead: Rats. Looks like Hot Dog's already went out with his wagging tailed friends.

Panel six: Jughead leaves his house as he walks down his drive way. Behind Jughead, Sgt. Carrot is motioning for his bunny battalion to move out as they begin to hop in a single file line and salute.

Jughead: That's actually not a bad idea to hang out with friends when you're bored. Especially when hijinks galore happen with you best bud.

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead is knocking on the door of the Andrews' house as he straightens his hat and prepares for whatever misadventure is to come. Behind Jughead one of the bunny's has a pair of binoculars as he is scoping the area.

Jughead: I wonder what misadventure Archie has today: accidentally super gluing his socks to his shoes, saving Mr. Lodge from kidnappers, needing saving from Ronnie...

Panel two: Mrs. Andrews opens the door and greets Jughead.

Mrs. Andrews: Oh, good afternoon, Jughead.

Jughead: Mrs. A. One of few females who makes me pause and thinks that the entire guy-girl relationship might have merits.

Panel three: Jughead looks over Mrs. Andrews shoulder as he peeks to see if Archie has gotten himself into any trouble. Mrs. Andrews is blushing from Jughead's compliment.

Mrs. Andrews. And for a girl-hater per excel lance, you can say the sweetest things.

Jughead: Momentary lapses in better judgment.

Jughead: Say, what's our boy Archie gotten himself into for today?

Panel four: Mrs. Andrews points at the empty car space in the drive way as Jughead looks on. The rest of the bunny battalion are peeking their heads out from inside the car garage.

Mrs. Andrews: Oh, him and his father went fishing a few hours ago.

Panel four: Jughead puts his hands in his pockets as he sadly walks away as Mrs. Andrews closes the door. Behind Jughead, the bunny with binoculars is looking upwards as a grappling line is coming out of nowhere and going nowhere off panel as Sgt. Carrot and the rest of the Bunny Battalion zip off-panel.

Jughead: Sigh. A guy can't wait over half the day for a friend to wake up before he decides to head off with a loved one...?

Jughead: Guess I gotta go a bit further if I'm going to find any excitement for the day.

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead looks over at Betty's house as he cheers up. Sgt. Carrot is talking with Betty's cat Carmel. Sgt. Bunny is sticking out his leg and pointing at it as Carmel tilts her head in confusion. Behind Sgt. Carrot the rest of the Bunny Battalion are hard at work. Several bunnies are weaving a small basket and another tired rabbit is trying to blow up a small hot air balloon all by himself.

Jughead: Wait, that doesn't sound like me and I don't have to go far when Betty lives right next door.

Panel two: Jughead is at the Betty Cooper house as Mr. Cooper answers.

Jughead: Hello, Mr. Cooper. I thought maybe I could see Betty.

Panel three: Mr. Cooper stares at Jughead in surprise.

Jughead: ?

Panel four: Jughead waves off Mr. Cooper's thought process as Mr. Cooper lets out a sigh of relief.

Jughead: Oh. Don't worry, I don't want to ask her out, I'm just bored and wanted to talk with someone.

Mr. Cooper: Wheew. What a relief...!!

Panel five: Mr. Cooper explains that Betty isn't home as Jughead begins to inquire why Betty didn't tell him about her day.

Mr. Cooper: Well, I'm sorry, but Betty and Veronica just finished their cake for the county bake contest in Greendale and won't be bake for hours.

Jughead: Wait, Betty was entering a cooking contest and didn't tell me about it?

Panel six: Mr. Cooper talks with Jughead as Jughead sadly waves goodbye. Behind Jughead, one of the bunny's somehow gets his foot tangled in a rope for a small hot air balloon as the rest of the bunny battalion try to keep him from floating away as they clutch at his ears. Sgt. Carrot face palms at the sight of his troops.

Mr. Cooper: Wouldn't you have just eaten it?

Jughead: Sigh, yeah....and wacky shenanigans would have followed.

Page 4.

Panel one: Jughead is walking along a suburban street as it seems like it's only him out. In a small hot air balloon floating just behind Jughead, Sgt Carrot is pointing ahead of Jughead and is rubbing two carrots together to signal his rabbit soldiers.

Jughead: Archie's not around, Betty's gone...and she took Ronnie with her so I don't even have an excuse to even go to the Lodges now...

Panel two: Jughead looks over to see Jinx Malloy who is happily skipping along as he is wearing a necklace under his shirt. For once no calamities are happening around him. In the bushes behind Jinx, several small eyes and long rabbit ears are peering at him. Sgt. Carrot has dropped a rope as he is climbing down the hot air balloon.

Jughead: Say, Jinx Malloy! He just walks around and misadventures happen!

Panel three: Jughead runs up to Jinx as he has his arms over his head, his body bent down and looking over his right shoulder to see if a plane or something else is going to fall out of the sky.

Jinx: Hey, Jughead!

Jughead: Hello, Jinx. Say, don't mean to pry, but I've noticed that you're taking an afternoon stroll and Riverdale is still standing...

Panel four: Jinx proudly pulls out his lucky rabbit foot as Jughead raises an eyebrow in disbelief. Behind Jinx, Sgt.Carrot is glaring at him as the rest of the bunny battalion begins to hop out of the bushes to stand behind Sgt. Carrot.

Jinx: I know! I just bought this lucky rabbit's foot and not one bad thing has happened!!

Panel five: Jughead begins to question Jinx as Jinx begins to twirl the rabbit's foot around.

Jughead: So no accidents, mishaps, perils, bad ju-ju, calamities, mishaps, hoodoos, or slight armageddons?

Jinx: Not a trial or error for me today!

Panel six: Jughead forlornly walks away as Jinx turns around in fright to see Sgt. Carrot motioning with his knee and leg that's he's going to break something. The rest of the bunny battalion is beginning to leap at Jinx.

Jughead: Well, I guess bad things can't happen to a guy all the time.

Jinx: !!!!

Page 5.

Panel one: Jughead is knocking on the Mantle house as the door way has a banner reading: HOME OF THE MANTLES!! On the doorway is a picture of the entire family striking a pose. In the air, Sgt. Carrot and the Bunny Battalion are riding birds. Sgt. Carrot has the rabbit's foot as he motions onward. One rabbit has fallen from his bird and is clinging to the legs of the bird for dear life.

Jughead: Wow, I bet Reggie's house annoys condominiums.

Panel two: Reggie, with a dopey smile, red nose, and glazed eyes, opens the door and greets Jughead.

Reggie: Jughead! My good sweet charming friend! 

Jughead: Well, you got my name right.

Panel three: Reggie reaches out and hugs Jughead as Jughead's eyes grow wide in shock.

Reggie: Friends!? Hah! You and me are like brothers!!

Jughead: I'm adopted and running away from home!!

Panel four: Mrs. Mantle reaches over to pull Reggie off of Jughead as Jughead begins to wipe his shirt off. Reggie is still smiling like a dope all the while.

Mrs. Mantle: I'm sorry, Jughead. Reggie had a cold today and his medicine...has side effects.

Panel five: Jughead begins to walk away from the Mantle home as Mrs. Mantle begins to drag Reggie back inside as he waves goodbye to Jughead. Jughead looks over his shoulder disappointed.

Jughead: Here I was hoping to trade a few barbs...but a nice Reggie Mantle is even more boring than how I feel today!!

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is on his cellphone as he is calling Ethel. Along the sidewalk, unnoticed by Jughead, the bunny surgeon is carrying a ball of string with a needle stuck in it as he hops along. Unnoticed to him, a large dog is coming at him.

Jughead: Well, I guess a date with Ethel isn't the worst thing I can do to pass the afternoon. Spontaneous combustion would be unpleasant...

Panel two: Jughead is talking on the phone to Ethel. Sgt. Carrot and his bird ride knock the dog away from the surgeon bunny as the surgeon bunny salutes Sgt. Carrot.

Jughead: Yeah, Ethel. How about a date with—

Jughead: Could you speak up, your voice sounds like a stuffed up attic.

Panel three: Jughead takes his cellphone away from his ear as he winces because of the yelling Ethel is giving him.

Cellphone: I SAID I WOULDN'T DATE A RAT LIKE YOU EVER EVER EVER!!!

Panel four: Cut to the Muggs living room as a place has been made for the sick Ethel who is blowing her nose as she is on a tantrum as her father tries to stop her from smashing a lamp. Mrs. Muggs is looking over her shoulder in fright as she explains things to Jughead.

Mrs. Muggs: I'm sorry, Jughead. Ethel came down with a summer cold and took some medicine... .

Ethel: I despise Jughead Jones! I'll bash his face! Mash his bones! Lemme at 'em!!!

Mrs. Muggs: ...And there are side effects.

Panel five: Jughead closes up his cellphone as he shrugs his shoulders. High in the air, the Bunny Battalion are using the birds to lift the dog high into the air. The bunny surgeon is hopping away with the ball of string.

Jughead: I don't know what's worse, the sickness or the cure.

Page 7.

Panel one: Jughead is wearing a tank top, yellow and black stripped shorts, and sandals as he enters Riverdale Beach.

Jughead: Maybe a change of setting will put some action in this story.

Panel two: Jughead looks over at an ice cream vendor who has a line of teenage boy and girl couples happily buying ice cream. In the background, Jinx Malloy, wearing swim trunks and on crutches with a broke leg, is walking along causing someone carrying a surfboard over his shoulder to hit someone accidentally with the surfboard, causing that person to accidentally kick a small yellow sand bucket away from children making a sand castle, and the bucket is heading for several burly, scary looking beach bullies.

Jughead: Hm. Couples are getting along and even actually accompanying their boyfriends so no complaints about melted ice cream can be heard...

Panel three: Jughead looks over at a bunch of burly muscular guys helping a small girl build a sand castle as several other kids cheer them on. One of the bullies has a large bump on his head as he smiles dopily.

Jughead: The local beach bullies are quite docile today...

Panel four: Jughead is looking on as a teenage boy is putting  suntan lotion on a teenage girl will another teenage boy talks with him. At his feet someone is buried in sand and has a straw sticking out of the sand as his only means of breathing.

Boyfriend: Excuse me, that's my girlfriend you're putting oil on.

Other teen: Of course. She just asked for me to put lotion on her back.

Panel five: Jughead walks away as he rolls his eyes as the boyfriend and girlfriend wave goodbye to the other guy.

Boyfriend: Oh. That's okay. I wouldn't want to risk her getting sun burn.

Girlfriend: Thank you for your help.

Jughead: Life's never fun when understanding reigns over the land.

Page 8.

Panel one: Jughead looks over and spies Trula Twyst lying on a beach towel as she is reading a psychology book titled: Food & Mind. Jughead actually looks happy to see her.

Jughead: Trula Twyst?!

Jughead: Perfect, I can do battle with my archnemesis!

Panel two: Jughead opens up his arms and prepares for a salvo as Trula Twyst looks up from her reading.

Panel three: Trula Twyst goes back to her reading as Jughead's arms drop and he glares down at her.

Jughead: Hey, what's wrong with you?! Where's the mind games?

Trula: It's a bye week.

Jughead: Pardon?

Panel four: Jughead glares down as Trula sits up.

Trula: Juggers, your mind is very complicated and requires strenuous study, so not to burn myself out on the project, I'm taking a day or two off.

Panel five: Jughead walks away in revulsion as Trula smiles as she calls out to Jughead.

Jughead: I hope they take away your villain membership after they hear reports of your languor!!

Trula: Don't be like that, Juggers!!

Jughead: I want to do something and you don't! Typical female behavior!!

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead is leaving the beach as he begins to yawn.

Jughead: YAAAWWWN

Jughead: All this trying to find something interesting on this boring day has made me sleepy...

Panel two: Time has passed as Jughead's parents and Jellybean arrive home. Mr. Jones is opening the door and calling for Jughead. Mrs. Jones is holding Jellybean who has various kiss lipstick marks on her face and head. One is just over her eyes as she keeps it closed. Hopping behind the Jones Family is a happy bunny with a newly returned stitched up leg.

Mr. Jones: Jughead! Are you up yet?!

Panel three: Mr. Jones looks downward.

Mr. Jones: Typical.

Panel four: Jughead is taking a nap on the couch as Mr. and Mrs. Jones look on disapprovingly. Jellybean is crawling on Jughead's stomach to his face as he happily snores.

Mr. Jones: I can't believe he's spent the entire day sleeping.

Mrs. Jones: I know. How can you find any excitement in life if you don't get outside and mingle about?

Jughead: ZZZZZZZZ

THE END.
#46
 Page 1

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is dragging Archie along a street near several diners with various tables and seats outside. One person is complaining to a waiter about a fly in his soup.

Mr. Andrews: Archie! Archie! Hurry up or we'll miss him!!

Archie: I'll be missing an arm if you keep pulling!!

Panel two: Archie is walking behind his dad as his dad is looking through the outside tables in one of the street diners. Archie is rubbing his shoulder and moving his arm across his chest as he tries to regain feeling in it. Mr. Andrews is as giddy as a school kid at a new toy as several diners look at him like he's nuts. The waiter is holding up a spider-web as a spider is descending into the soup.

Archie: Who are we looking for, dad?

Mr. Andrews: My co-worker at the office called me and told me that my favorite western star growing up was visiting Riverdale!!

Panel three: Mr. Andrews pointing ahead.

Mr. Andrews: There!

Panel four: We look to see a man who looks like Clint Eastwood as he is glaring at an empty chair. Flint Northwood is wearing a dirty white cowboy hat, an old brown trench coat and cowboy boots as he is drinking a root beer float. The table next to him has two empty seats. Flint's table has four chairs: One next to Flint, the other next to the empty chair. On the table in front of the empty chair, is cup full of water with a straw facing the chair. Every time Flint talks his teeth are clenched.

Mr. Andrews: Bimbo, Surly, The Pale Horse Rider, Howdy Bates, and the Man Known By No Name—

Mr. Andrews: FLINT NORTHWOOD!!!

Page 2:

Panel one: Archie is scratching his head as he doesn't see what's so great about Flint Northwood as Mr. Andrews ignores him and rushes over to see Flint Northwood. As he runs, he bumps into a waiter carrying pitcher of water on a tray as it begins to fall on a man. Flint has his cowboy hat over his eyes.

Archie: The guy in that movie about the old car?

Mr. Andrews: He's more than just that! He's rode horses!!

Panel two: Mr. Andrews is standing next to Flint Northwood as Flint doesn't acknowledge him as he takes a sip of his root beer. Mr. Andrews is trying to hold his excitement, but failing. Archie is following after his dad in the background and accidentally bumps into another waiter carrying a pitcher of water on a tray as the water falls backwards onto someone sitting.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood, pardner...er, sir. Sir. I grew up watching your shows and movies! I make sure my family watches five of your movies each and every week!

Panel three: Archie is apologizing as he turns and continues on. The two waiters are angry and the drenched diners look like they could strangle Archie and his dad. Flint Northwood puts his drink down and looks ahead sternly, not acknowledging Mr. Andrews by looking at him. Mr. Andrews leaps up in joy.

Flint Northwood: A man shouldn't stand about when an open chair is right in front of him.

Panel four: Archie is heading towards the seat next to Northwood as his dad takes the seat closest to Northwood. Mr. Andrews introduces Archie as Archie waves hello at Flint Northwood. Flint eyes Archie.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood this is my boy, Archie.

Archie: Hello, sir. My dad quotes you all the time.

Panel five: Archie stops as he's about to sit down in the empty chair next to Flint when Flint glares at him with cold blue eyes and gnashing teeth.

Archie: EEEP

Panel six: Archie moves away from the seat and looks confused as no one is in it. Flint takes another sip from his root beer float.

Flint Northwood: Not that chair. Can't you see someone's in it?

Page 3

Panel one: Archie scratches his head as he questions Flint about someone sitting in the empty chair. Flint rolls his eyes towards Archie. Mr. Andrews slams his hands down on the table as he reprimands Archie for daring to question Flint Northwood. Mr. Andrews slams the table so hard, that a waiter carrying water is startled and tips his water on the person sitting at the next table behind Mr. Andrews. The glass of water in front of the empty chair, unnoticed by everyone, is being stirred using its straw by an unseen presence.

Archie: I don't mean to be disrespectful...but there's no one sitting in that chair.

Mr. Andrews: Archie! Don't be disrespectful at all!!

Panel two: Flint Northwood glares at Archie as Archie begins to back away. Behind Archie another waiter is carrying water as a person sitting at the table behind Archie sees him coming.

Flint Northwood: You seem like a spunky boy, punk.

Panel three: Archie bumps into the waiter just behind him, but the person sitting has an umbrella out and stops the water from landing on him.

Flint Northwood: Well, are you spunky. Well, are you, spunky punk?!!

Archie: No! No! I hate spunk!!

Panel four: Archie takes the other empty seat as a waiter leaves menus for the three. The straw in the water is now back to where it was before. Flint nods in approval at Archie's decision as Mr. Andrews vehemently apologies to Flint Northwood.

Archie: I'll sit here, if that's okay...

Mr. Andrews: I apologize! I swear he didn't get his sass from me! It has to be his mother!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is talking with Flint Northwood as Archie's eye begins to follow a hot attractive teen walking past him. Unnoticed by everyone, an unseen force is beginning to drink from the glass as the water lowers just a bit in the glass. Flint is cracking his knuckles.

Mr. Andrews: I'm sure it comes from his girlfriend Veronica Lodge.

Flint Northwood: I've heard of the Lodges.

Panel two: Archie continues to look on with glazed love eyes as the teenage girl sits down in the table just in front of him, seemingly alone. Northwood continues to talk with Mr. Andrews as Mr. Andrews takes in every word like it were the most important moment of his life. The glass is now 3/4ths filled.

Flint Northwood: A sorry bunch of sod busters who fenced in the range with their barbwire fences to cut off cattle drives and stymie the way of the cowboy.


Panel three: Archie's shoulders slump as the teenage girl's boyfriend, carrying an open umbrella, begins to pull a chair up to sit next to her. A waiter walks by and looks on as he is carrying water and angry that he isn't trusted with his tray of water. Mr. Andrews responds to what Flint said. The glass is now half way full.

Mr. Andrews: I think that's how their family came into money.

Flint Northwood: Yep.

Panel four: Archie turns away disappointed as he begins to eye the now empty glass of water . The waiter is pouring the pitcher of water on the teen boy's umbrella just to spite him. Flint Northwood continues to talk to Mr. Andrews as Mr. Andrews continues to be enamored by his hero.

Flint Northwood: Course I married a woman full of sass three wives past. A strong woman can build a man up.

Archie: ?

Panel five: Archie has the empty glass of water and is holding it up to see if the bottom is leaking to explain how the water went away. Mr. Andrews is looking over at Archie and point at him to comply with what he is saying. More people in the diner are pulling out umbrellas and raincoats as waiters carrying a tray with pitcher of water and knocking them over seem to be increasing by the droves. Archie isn't paying any attention to his dad at all.

Mr. Andrews: You hear that Archie?! I want you to date Veronica and Veronica only!

Archie: Yeah. Sure.


Page 5.

Panel one: Archie is putting the glass back down as has no idea what happened to the water inside. Several people in rain coats are being lead to their seat by an angry waiter as another waiter is mopping the floor. Mr. Andrews continues to talk with Flint Northwood who now has a piece of straw in his mouth.

Flint Northwood: 'Course a good woman does a man a heap of good as well...

Mr. Andrews: Really!? Good! I married a good woman! She takes the garbage out! She's great!

Panel two: Archie looks over as the people in the raincoat trip and fall because of the wet floor. Another waiter looks at the accident as he pours his pitcher of water on some gentleman's lap. Archie winces as he shows empathy for the fallen couple. Archie is beginning to open the menu.

Flint Northwood: Got me a good woman now finally. Soft like a flower pedal.

Panel three: Archie's eyes light up as he looks at the menu and sees the following stretched across two pages: I SEE YOU, CAN YOU SEE ME, ARCHIE?

Flint Northwood: Used to never clean my boots, chew with my mouth closed, and never bought an extra box of girl scout cookies...

Panel four: Archie looks over at the empty chair and empty glass; straw is now on the table somehow. The menu now reads: GUESS NOT, HUH? Mr. Andrews continues to listen to Flint Northwood.

Flint Northwood: Makes a man feel good. Almost like cattle going days without water until he finds a creek.

Mr. Andrews: I feel like that when I'm thirsty!!

Panel five: Archie's face is pale as he looks on uncomprehendingly as he drops the menu flat the table. Mr. Andrews is talking with Archie as Archie just barely responds as he Archie has no idea what is going on.

Mr. Andrews: You hear that, Archie! I want you to date Betty more!! She's a nice girl who can straighten you out some!!

Archie: Sure...that's fine....

Page 6.

Panel one: Mr. Andrews and Flint Northwood are standing up as Mr. Andrews shakes Flint's arm with both hands and as hard as he can; Flint is too grizzled and tough to even notice as his hat nearly falls off his head.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood it was an honor to finally meet you...

Panel two: Mr. Andrews looks over at Archie as Archie is tempting to feel for a person in the empty chair, but is hesitant because he might actually find an invisible person sitting there.

Mr. Andrew:  ...And I know my son feels the same way.

Panel three: Mr. Andrews and Archie are walking away. Mr. Andrews has his arm wrapped around Archie's shoulder as they leave. The couple in the raincoat are chasing after the waiter who was mopping as they cause a waiter carrying another pitcher of water to spin about, splashing several tables with water. The entire floor is completely wet. Flint Northwood is in the background adjusting his cowboy hat.

Mr. Andrews: What an afternoon! It's not everyday you see a celebrity!

Archie: Yeah, I like it when I can see people, too..!!

Panel four: Mr. Northwood is walking away from the table as he looks back at the chair as it is now being pulled in the table by an invisible force.

Northwood: Well, pardner, we best mosey on. Wife's gotta be wondering' where I'm at.

Mr. Northwood: Push the chair up. You weren't raised in a barn.

Panel five.

Everyone in the diner, from the waiters to the umbrella using/rain coat wearing customers looks on as Flint Northwood is walking away with his hands in his trench coat pocket on the extremely wet floor. Right next to him are footprints being pressed in the water. All the customers, with whatever drink they have, are now pouring it out on the floor. The waiter with the mop now has it on his head and eyes as he stumbles around and can't see as he begins to slip.

Flint Northwood: I'm tellin' ya, you'll do great at the convention. You just sit down and answer when I talk to ya.

Flint: ...

Flint: Yeah, I'm sure you'll do better than me in the last season of Cattle Drive. Smarty aleck rassa frassam bunny-rabbit!


#47
Fan Fiction / Archie in Intrinsic Rewards
June 17, 2016, 02:32:30 PM
 (Archie is walking along the mall with Reggie, Betty, and Veronica. Veronica has several shopping bags hung on both arms, Betty has a small bag, and Reggie has a small bag from Pranksters Isle.)

Archie: Hey, has anyone seen Jughead?

Reggie: Yeah, the guy with the black hole for a gut is still at the food court.

(Veronica turns to Betty as they continue to walk along.)

Veronica: Just leave him. I'll wave a candy bar wrapper to call him back when we're preparing to leave.

Betty: Hey, he's just getting what he came for like the rest of us.

(Betty looks in her bag as we see it has small cooking pans and spatulas.)

Betty: I went to Cook Paradise and got a few new cooking sheets to fix my Archie his favorite treats.

(Veronica looks over at Archie as we can see Veronica's bags are filled with dresses and bathing suits. Archie has his dopey smile and is blushing)

Veronica: You can have your pots and pans. I got something my Archie will love to look at.

Archie: Well, um...

(Reggie walks over to Archie and puts his arm carrying his bag over Archie's shoulder and points to it with his free hand. Inside the bag we can see itching powder, thumb tacks and an electric buzzer. Archie has a worried look on his face.)

Reggie: Hey, I was thinking of you on this trip to the mall, too, carrot top.

Archie: Gulp.

(Betty looks at Archie as Archie has his hands in his wallet.)

Betty: But Archie, you haven't bought a single thing.

(Reggie is laughing at Archie as Archie reluctantly nods his heads and rolls his eyes up as he begins to flashback)

Reggie: Hey, when you're the klutz of Riverdale, you make payments for the next seven years even when you window shop!

Archie: That comment wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't true...

(Archie is having a flashback of him and his dad in the basement working on the pipes. A pipe is just above Archie's head as a spider is lowering itself on a spider web in front of him. Archie is holding a wrench as his father is bent down to examine the pipes.)

Archie: See what's wrong, Pops?

Archie's Dad: Not just yet...

(Archie is watching his dad as the spider lowers itself downwards towards Archie's eyes.)

Archie's Dad: Wait just one second.

(Archie's face goes white as the spider is right at his eyes.)

Archie's Dad: It just needs tightening. Archie, hand me the wrench.

(Archie screams and jumps in the air. The wrench in his hand hits the pipe above him.)

(The top of the wrench punctures a hole in the pipe as water begins to poor out.)

SPLOOOSHHH

(Archie, with a guilty expression on his face, is being doused by water as his father turns and glares at Archie.)

Archie: Um...I think we might have to do more than tighten a pipe.

(Back to the mall Archie has an humiliated look on his face. Reggie is trying to hold his laughter as Betty talks. Veronica eyes Betty suspiciously.)

Archie: So that's where most of my money went.

Betty: Yeah, The Andrews had to use my family's washer and dryer all this week!

(Veronica leans over to talk with Betty so the two boys behind them can't hear. Archie is covering his ears with both hands as Reggie is annoying him.)

Veronica: Pray tell, Betty...is that where the help ended?

(Betty tries to avoid Veronica's eyes as she has a guilty look on her face.)

Betty: Well, I did help Archie with his shirts, jeans, and—well...

(Veronica is yelling at Betty as Betty tries to stop smiling. Archie turns his head to the left as he notices a section of the mall.)

Veronica: Betty Cooper! I never pictured you being so scheming!

Betty: Ronnie, washing and ironing someone's clothes isn't scheming!

Veronica: When you go behind my back to wash the shirt that came off of Archie's back, it's the epitome of scheming!

(Archie is going into a section of the mall that sells DVD called Discount Video Dimensions as Betty and Veronica continue to argue. Reggie is rolling his eyes as he listens to the girls argue.)

Archie: You guys try and reprieve Jughead from the food court and wait for me at the car. I'll be a quick second.

Veronica: Hmph. With the generic detergent your family uses, I'm surprised he doesn't have a rash from his head to his toes.

(Reggie is gently pushing Betty and Veronica along as they argue and other people begin to stare.)

Reggie: Why can't two girls ever fight over me like this?

(The girls turn and eye Reggie as he proudly sticks out his chest as if he's a great prize for both girls.)

(The girls go back to arguing about Archie with one another as Reggie makes a sour face as his sneers shifts to his left face cheek.)

Betty: I'll have you know I only used the finest detergent and softener for Archie's varsity jacket!

Veronica: With that rickety tin box you call a washer? That varsity jacket took more hits than his shoulder pads during last night's football game!

(Archie is at the end of a row of DVDs as he is looking through the titles. Archie has two DVD boxes in his hand and using the other to read the back of a DVD box.)

Archie: Wow, they have some really nice classics here. I bet the girls would love some of these.

(Archie is putting one dvd box back, causing the others to tip over like dominoes.)

Archie: As long as I don't show Veronica the receipt that is—oops.

(The line of DVD boxes continue to fall and hits a new stand of the movie The Smerfs (like smurfs only green skin), knocking the entire display, cardboard cut ups and all over. The clerk looks from his counter angrily.)

CRASSHH

Clerk: Hey!

(Archie begins to bend over, but the Clerk points at him to stop.)

Archie: I'm sorry, Mister. Let me pick them up and—

Clerk: I think I'd rather have you leave. But not before you pay for something.

(Archie forces a smile as he picks up two DVDs as a new clerk takes over as the old one is fixing the display. Archie hands him money as he wants to hurry and leave while the older clerk is busy.)

Younger Clerk: Okay, that will be—

Archie: Sure.

Younger Clerk: And your change.

Archie: Eh, I'd just have a few pennies left, you keep it.

(Archie is walking out as the old clerk glares at him as he steadies the display back up. The new clerk is tapping on the scanner on his bench as it seems to not be working.

New clerk: Um, boss, I think the scanner is—

Old clerk: I don't normally like to give money to another business, but you should have given him his change so he could be some new thoughts!

(Archie looks over his two DVDs with mild enjoyment on his face.)

Archie: Be Faithful to Your Deputy and Be Faithful to Your Courthouse. Haven't seen too many comedy-westerns, but they look fun.

(Archie and the gang are getting out of the car in Archie's driveway. Archie is getting out of the driver side, Reggie is getting out of the passenger. Betty is happily getting out of the car. Jughead has a sullen look on his face. The trunk is packed near bursting with most of Veronica's shopping bags being nearly too much for the trunk door to stay.

Reggie: Western Comedy? I've never even watched a western.

Jughead: And you've never been funny, so this should be a whole new experience for you.


(Betty, holding the plastic bag with the DVDs, looks over at Jughead as he seems unhappy.)

Betty: Jughead, are you still mad about having to leave?

Jughead: Hey, you guys got what you wanted, but I only got to the Make Your Own Cookie.

Betty: The cookie was just as big as you!

(Jughead turns his head.)

Jughead: Ants carry twice their body weight; I eat twice my body weight.

(Betty smirks as Jughead eyes her.)

Betty: How about I make some popcorn while we watch one of the movies?

(Jughead leaps out of the car as Betty laughs.)

Jughead: Extra butter and you're forgiven for all trespasses.

(Veronica is getting out of the back seat as she looks at the closed trunk. Archie is holding the door for her.)

Veronica: Archie, you do think my valuables will be safe for the next two hours? I have Katy Keen in there.

Archie: C'mon, Ron, does this look like the neighborhood that would break into someone's trunk?

(Everyone is going inside except Veronica who is eyeing a female from across the street as she is watering her plant.)

Archie: C'mon. Mom and Pops shouldn't be back for at least a few hours.

(The neighbor notices Veronica staring at her.)

(Veronica is walking backwards into the Andrews house as she does the "I'm keeping my eyes on you" motion with her two fingers)

(The neighbor is confused and over watering her plants as Veronica slams the door behind her.)

SLAM

Neighbor: ?

(They are in the living room preparing to watch one of the DVDs. Archie and Veronica are sitting on the living room couch, Reggie is sitting on the floor. Jughead and Betty are coming into the living room with the popcorn. Veronica has her head on Archie's left shoulder. Reggie eyes Archie jealously. Betty is carrying the popcorn as Jughead is taking handfuls and eating them. The bag with the DVDs is next to Reggie.)

Veronica: Isn't this perfect, Archie?

Reggie: Perfection is a matter of opinion and location.

(Jughead suddenly flops down in between Veronica and Archie.)

Jughead: Make way!

Plop

Veronica: !!

(Betty jumps in between Veronica and Jughead, forcing Veronica to the end of the couch where she is far from comfortable.)

Betty: Coming through!!

PLOP

Veronica: Betty!

(Veronica is exchanging words with Betty, who smiles and shrugs her shoulders, as Jughead takes the popcorn bowl and puts it on his lap as he looking keenly at it. Archie has the remote in hand. Reggie is getting the DVDs out as the receipt falls out.)

Betty: Sorry. When in Rome.

Veronica: In Rome they used to feed poor people to lions while rich people watched.

Jughead: I counted each little pop of you...

Archie: Reg, you mind putting a disc in?

Reggie: Yeah, yeah...

(Reggie eyes the receipt.)

Reggie: Wait a sec...

(Reggie is looking at the receipt in one hand and the DVDs in another.)

Reggie: Freckles, you got two DVDs, right?

Archie: The ones in your hand, yeah. Why?

(Reggie hands Archie the receipt.)

Reggie: Well, you only got charged for one, and I don't see any special sell listed.

(Veronica, Betty, and Jughead look over at the receipt as Archie has a confused look on his face.)

Betty: Maybe you won a prize.

Jughead: Nope. They only have one item listed, see?

(Veronica talks as Archie rolls his eyes and exhales with his lips shaped like an O.)

Veronica: Maybe Archie was such a good customer

(Betty explains to Veronica as Veronica gestures with one hand and a slight shrug of her left shoulder.)

Betty: Veronica, businesses don't give away merchandise willy-nilly.

Veronica: They do for the affluent populace.

(Betty rolls her eyes at Veronica. Archie begins to stand up and reaches for the dvd box that he didn't pay for.)

Jughead: Arch, what are you doing?

(Archie takes the DVD box and begins to leave.)

Archie: I'm going to drive back and pay for it.

(Reggie looks up at Archie with disgust.)

Reggie: Why? You didn't do anything wrong. Heck, they may have scanned it, but they didn't ring it up.

(Jughead looks over the receipt.)

Jughead: Only Reggie can be so wrong and yet so right. Not a trace of ink about it and the alarm would have went off if it hadn't been scanned.

Betty: No, it's still wrong.

(Reggie turns to look at Betty.)

Reggie: Okay, let me ask you, when Miss. Grundy misgrades a test paper and marks an incorrect answer correct, do you tell her about it?

Betty: Yes.

(Everyone looks over at Betty awestruck as Betty is confused.)

Betty: What? I can't be the only one.

Reggie: I'm going to have you brought up for sainthood.

(Veronica looks down towards Reggie as Reggie responds.)

Veronica: No money was exchanged for it, so it's still stealing, technically.

Reggie: Hey, you can afford to be honest, but the rest of us can't. You have to make and take every break that you can.

(Reggie looks at Jughead who stops eating as he is being called out. Veronica turns to Jughead as Jughead has half eaten popcorn on his face and clothing.)

Reggie: Look, at Jughead.

Veronica: Must we?

Reggie: Pop Tate is the only guy in the world who collects I.O.U.s while the chow hound gorges away without even batting an eye.

(Betty and Veronica look at Jughead with an eyebrow raised each as he looks extremely guilty.)

Jughead: Well, me and Pop have this relationship and...well--

(Jughead begins wolfing down popcorn to avoid talking and eye contact. Veronica sticks her tongue out in disgust as Betty has the tip of her index and middle finger on her forehead as she rubs her head as if she has a headache.)

Jughead: --um, it's impolite to talk with my mouth full!

Jughead: Chomp Chomp munch!

(Reggie turns his head.)

Reggie: Archie, you listen to me, and I'll—

(Everyone turns to see Archie gone and the door slightly open. Jughead is eating popcorn while talking to Reggie as Reggie has a look of antipathy.)

Jughead: Maybe he couldn't hear you because you weren't on his shoulder like the guy with the halo was...

Reggie: I'm the only one who will ever make it in this group...!

(The Old Clerk is adjusting the cut-up for the Smerfs movie as Archie approaches. The younger clerk is at the counter and register.)

Old Clerk: Finally. If I ever see that little creep again it will be too soon.

Archie: Excuse me...

(The Old Clerk looks up as if talking with some higher power as Archie extends the DVD.)

Old Clerk: I deal with annoying kids, do they have to come back to trouble me so?

Archie: Sir, I recently made a purchase, but not for this DVD.

(The Old Clerk glare at Archie as Archie tries to wave him off.)

Old Clerk: So you're a thief. A thief returning to the scene of the crime! Lester, call—

Archie: No! Wait, you don't understand.

(Archie points at the counter as the young Clerk nods his head.)

Archie: I did pay for it, but for some reason, it wasn't picked up and I just now noticed it on the receipt.

Lester: Mr. Catron, this scanner has been giving us trouble.

(Mr. Catron sighs as Archie reaches into his wallet.)

Archie: And I want to pay for it right now.

Mr. Catron: And let me guess: because you're being so gosh dang noble, I should let you have a free movie or a gift card?

(Mr. Catron takes the ten dollar bill with a sly grin.)

Archie: No, sir. You shouldn't do the right thing and expect anything in return.

Mr. Catron: Well, when you put it that way...

(Mr. Catron puts the money in his pocket.)

Mr. Catron: I won't give you back your change then.

Archie: But that was a ten and the movie was only—

(Archie is angrily leaving Discount Video Dimensions as Mr. Catron leans against his display of Smerfs DVDs with all his weight on his left hand and he has his left foot over right as Lester looks on, unhappy with his boss's action.)

Mr. Catron: Look at it this way: the extra money will help me get a new scanner so no little angel like yourself has to worry his head a mistake like this again.

(Mr. Catron smirks towards Lester, not paying attention to how he is becoming off-balance.)

Mr. Catron: See that, m'boy, that's how you make a profit.

(The display gives way as Mr. Catron falls. Lester looks on gladly.)

Mr. Catron: AAGGGHHH

CRASSSHHH

(Mr. Catron is on the ground as Lester stands over him. Mr. Catron is embarrassed and has a single DVD on his head nearly falling off.)

Lester: Boss, I'll remember this day on many levels.

Mr. Catron: grummmble.

(Archie is coming back inside his house as everyone stayed waiting. Jughead has a new, larger bowl of popcorn. He has the DVD in his left hand.)

Archie: Hey, gang. I'm back.

Betty: How did it go?

(Archie complaisant attitude as he explains what happened as Reggie smiles confidently.)

Archie: Well, I told the guy running the DVD store what happened and he called me a thief, took what was left of my money, and shooed me on out.

Reggie: Hah! See that everyone! I told you, you have to be like me to ever get ahead in this world! You want something, you kick someone out of the way, and you take it!

(Betty gives Reggie a kick to his back.)

Betty: Fine. I want you to be quiet so...

KICK

Reggie: Ow.

(Betty glares down at Reggie as Reggie places a hand over where he was kicked.)

Reggie: Rotten fast learner....!

(Veronica looks sympathetically at Archie who begins to smile.)

Veronica: So you had to deal with that awful man and not have anything to show for it?

Archie: Not exactly...

(Archie sits down next to Betty and Veronica as he throws Reggie the DVD, so he can insert it into the DVD player.)

Archie: I have a clean conscience, and I'm watching a movie with good friends.

(Archie has an arm around Betty and Veronica separately as they both lean over towards him, Reggie is lying with his stomach on the ground as he looks up at the TV, and Jughead is tilting the Popcorn bowl over as he gulps it down with some falling on his shirt.)

Archie: What more can I ask for?

Jughead: More popcorn...this time with some chocolate syrup and honey.






#48
Fan Fiction / Archie & Friends in Ax Boys
June 17, 2016, 02:30:03 PM
 Page 1

Panel one: Setting is the living room of the Lodge Mansion as someone is knocking on the front door.  Veronica is getting up off the sofa as she is reading a Dazzle Magazine while drinking a diet soda and begins to head towards the door. Mr. Smithers looks like he was going to answer as he crunches his knuckles.

Knock Knock Knock-knock-knock

Smithers: I do believe that bothersome hammering belongs to one Master Andrews. Sigh, I had hoped to go a day without straining my back so...

Panel two: Veronica dashes in front of Smithers as Smithers looks confused but is compliant.

Veronica: Oh, not this time Smithers! Daddy, actually invited Archiekins over this time!

Panel three: Veronica opens the door as Archie and Jughead wait outside. Archie is wearing a flannel jacket and overalls. Jughead is wearing a dirty jacket and dirty jeans and a long sleeve shirt with a mustard stain on it. Archie is happy as he shows off his flannel jacket like it means he is a real lumberjack while Jughead is behind responding.

Archie: Hello, my love! Here comes your handsome lumberjack!


Page 2

Panel one: Veronica is rolling her eyes playfully as Archie rubs the back of his head sheepishly.

Veronica: I don't think busting up that one, already cut up, tree that fell on our property makes you a lumberjack, Archiekins.

Panel two: Jughead chimes in as Veronica glares at him.

Jughead: Sheesh, Ronnie, if your gardener was going to give us a head start, he should have just finished it, too!

Panel three: Veronica steps forward and jabs a finger at Jughead's nose as Archie tries to step in between them to try and calm the situation. Jughead's nose folds like an accordion from the finger poke.

Veronica: How about I tell you to get lost, and let your family freeze the rest of the winter!!

Archie: Now, now...! Let's not let the innocent suffer!

Panel four: Veronica leans against the door frame as she is calming down. Jughead is straightening out his nose

Veronica: Besides, Mr. Greentree sprained his back cutting up the tree--and daddy thought one of my friends could use firewood.

Archie: That's because you have a heart of gold, Ronnie.

Jughead: And an index finger made of steel...

Panel five: Archie and Jughead begin to walk away as Archie waves goodbye to Veronica. Archie seems amped up to get to busting wood while Jughead drags behind and not looking one bit forward to the hard work.

Archie: Anyway, we'll get to work, and be done in a few minutes!

Jughead: ...I still say everyone could have just worn sweaters all the time...

Page 3

Panel one: Archie and Jughead are at the fallen tree as it has been cut into five pieces about eighty pounds each.  In front of the tree is a log splitter (ground version), a crowbar, and a first aid kid.

Archie: Yowza! You could build a small house with these logs!!

Jughead: Yeah. Some woodland creatures lost their condominium.

Panel two: Archie and Jughead are standing in front of the log splitter as Archie is over the blade of the log splitter as he is looking over the first aid kit in confusion.

Archie: I don't get it, Jug. I get the crowbar, and glad for the log splitter but, why the first aid kit?

Archie: The worse that could happen is a splinter!

Panel three: Archie begins to trip over his feet as he falls towards the blade of the log splitter. Jughead reacts and races for Archie.

Archie: Whoops!

Panel four: Jughead grabs Archie by his jacket and stops him by inches hitting his head against the blade of the log splitter.


Archie: !!!

Panel five: Jughead is still holding onto Archie as Archie holds back the first aide kit to show to Jughead as he takes a sigh of relief.

Jughead: Any other questions?

Archie: Yeah...

Archie: You think this one kit will have enough bandages for the both of us?

Page 4:

Panel one: A close-up on Archie and half of the log as he is straining to push one of the logs.

Archie: UURRRKKK

Archie: C'mon! Jugster! You and me can do it!!

Panel two: Archie is straining even more as his face has gone bright red and sweat is pouring down his face.

Archie: ARRGGGHH

Archie: The power of team work---! That's how we'll move this wooden behemoth--!!

Panel three: Pull out more to see that Archie has just noticed that he is the only one trying to move the log as Jughead is not in the scene.

Archie: HRRRRRK

Archie: Mind over matter--!! Right, Jughead...?

Archie: Jughead...?

Panel four: Archie turns around to see Jughead sitting on one of the other logs as Archie begins to walk towards the crowbar.

Jughead: Right. And while my body is not, my thoughts are with you absolutely.

Archie: If you knew what I was thinking right now, you'd get up and start helping push that log!!

Page 5

Panel one: Both Archie and Jughead strain as they finally push the log on the log splitter as both put their backs and shoulders to it.

Archie: Almost—

Archie: GOT IT!!

Panel two: Archie and Jughead are panting heavily as they look at the log on the log splitter. Archie has a look of tired pride while Jughead looks like he'd rather have a root canal with a rake than do this again as he breathes out cold air.

Archie: Huff Huff. Nothing to it, right, Jughead?

Jughead: Nothing is what if feel in my extremities, Arch.

Panel three: Jughead looks back at the other logs as Archie wonders what is wrong with Jughead. Jughead inhales as he looks like he's been asked to move a mountain with these last logs.

Jughead: ...

Archie: Hey, something wrong?

Panel four: Jughead waves off the log on the log splitter as he walks away and decides to quit. Archie clenches his fists and his eyes follow Jughead.

Jughead: Hypothermia has been heavily discriminated against. Jellybean has warm, cuddly dolls to snuggle for heat, and I can just stick my head in the oven.

Panel five: Archie grabs Jughead by the back coat collar and pulls him back as Jughead sticks out his tongue as he is being choked by the sudden jerk.

Archie: The tree is giving, and you're going to take it!!

YANK

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is at the lever of the wood splitter as he bends over. He looks over his shoulder at the off panel Archie as is at the other end of the log splitter. Jughead is pulling the piston rod back

Jughead: Okay, you sure you're ready?

Panel two: Jughead pulls the lever back as the rod piston goes forward.

Archie off-panel: I've got it steady. Let'er rip!

Jughead: Okay.

Panel three: Jughead turns his head as he calmly reacts to Archie's off-panel plight as he pulls the lever back to retract the piston rod.

Archie off-panel: YOWWWW!!!

Jughead: Had your hand in the way of that metal plate pushing the log, huh?

Panel four: A view of Archie as Archie is holding his swollen hand and jumping up and down in pain as he obviously had his hand in the way of the piston rod and had it smashed. Jughead is beginning to stand up as he looks towards the first aid kit.

Archie: OW! OW! OW!

Jughead: I'll just get the first aid kit.
                   

Page 7

Panel one: Jughead and Archie finally have the log split in half as Jughead tells Archie they are going to split the half still on the log splitter.

Jughead: Okay, let's split it again!

Panel two: The half of the log is being split as Archie looks over at Jughead in confusion.

Jughead: Again! And again! And again three times more...!

Archie: Are you sure?

Panel three: A shot of the lever going back and forth rapidly to show how Jughead keeps splitting the log.

Panel four: Jughead looks over as Archie angrily stands by a pile of thin sticks that Jughead had him reduce the half log to as the other half is on the other side of the log splitter. Jughead seems happy.

Jughead: Perfect! Now it'll be easier to load!

Panel five: Jughead is running and shielding his head as Archie has a bundle of sticks in on hand as he begins throwing them at Jughead.

Jughead: Okay! Okay! We'll make them a tad bigger from now on!


Page 8

Panel one: A long on the on the blade of the log splitter is stuck as Archie motions for Jughead to stop and come over.

Archie: Whoa! Hold up, Jug! This piece is stuck!

Panel two: Jughead and Archie strain to pulls the log free as it is just wedge and will not budge. Archie looks over at the crowbar on the ground.

Jughead: This is worse than trying to pry Ethel off of me--!

Panel three: Archie is coming back with the crowbar as he motions for Jughead to get out of the way.

Archie: Out of the way! I'll get it!

Panel four: Archie uses the crowbar under the wood, and pushes too hard as he slips and sends the log flying into the sky as Jughead puts his hand over his eyes lids to better see the log soar in the air.

Archie: YIKES

ZOOOOOOMMM

Jughead: Huh. If flying wood falls and no one is around does it make a sound?

Panel five: A shot inside the Lodge Mansion as Mr. Lodge is in his study reading a newspaper as the log suddenly crashes into a nearby window and startles him as he tosses the newspaper in the air and begins to topple over in his chair.

CRASH

Mr. Lodge: !!!

Panel six: Archie and Jughead listen as they hear Mr. Lodge scream. Archie hangs his head in shame.

ARCHIE ANDREWS, YOU NITWIT!!!

Archie: I never like hearing that sound...

Page 9

Panel one: Behind Jughead and Archie is a pile of wood they have split and thrown behind them as the look on proudly.

Archie: Look at what the two of us managed to do! We should be proud of what we accomplished!

Jughead: We should be happy it's over.

Panel two: Archie stretches out his arms and flexes his muscles as Jughead actually seems to be inspired by Archie's speech.

Archie: Jug, we pushed logs like real men did! We split wood and pried it with our own hands. These hands right here!

Panel three: Archie looks at the palm of his hands as his face begins to turn pale.

Archie: Say...? Is that blood...?

Panel four: Archie falls over and faints as Jughead looks on.

Archie: Ohhhhhhhhhh

Panel five: Jughead begins to take a nap right next to the unconscious Archie. Archie is flat on his back with his legs and arms sticking straight up in the air. Jughead is using a piece of log as a pillow and has his arms folded over the back of his head.

Jughead: Yeah, this manly man could use a nap, too!

Page 10

Panel one: Veronica is putting on her jacket as she prepares to go outside.

Veronica: Archie and Jughead should be about done. I'll go get Rawley to get one of our trucks so they can load the wood.

Panel two: Veronica puts an index finger to her lips as she looks up and begins to think.

Veronica: Wait a second...

Veronica: Why don't I surprise the boys and drive down myself?

Panel three: Veronica is heading into one of the Lodge garages as she skips inside happily.

Veronica: I've never driven a stick before, but how hard can it be?

Panel four: A shot of the garage as everything is still.

Panel five: A red truck backs out in a zoom, drives into the yard recklessly and marks up the yard as it continues on its way.

SCRREEEE

ZAARRRR

ZAAAAAMM

Panel six: Archie and Jughead are sitting on the stump that the tree left when it fell as Archie rolls up his jacket and looks at his watch. Jughead reacts to a loud noise ahead of them.

Archie: I told Ronnie to send the truck right around this time...

SCRRAAAAAMMMSHH

Jughead: Um, is that what Mother Nature sounds like when she goes, "OW"?

Page 11

Panel one: Archie and Jughead run up a hill to see what the nose was. As they run, several woodland creatures (rabbits, foxes, squirrels, mice, deer, and even a bear) run down the hill just to the right side. Archie focuses straight ahead as Jughead turns to notice the animals.

Archie: C'mon, Jug, let's see what made that noise!!

Panel two: Archie and Jughead are at the top of the hill as they Veronica standing next a now wrecked truck that has ran into and knocked over a large oak tree. Veronica, trying to act calm and casual about the situation, is standing and motioning the tree to the boys as they react in shock. Several rabbits and squirrels are on tree and truck as they examine everything. A deer is looking at the tree and truck and breathing a sigh of relief that that is not him. Archie and Jughead react in surprise with both jumping off their feet.

Veronica: Archie, Jughead...

Veronica: This should do you both for years! You're both very welcome, now go to the shed, get the ax, and get to work!


Archie and Jughead: !!!

THE END.
#49
Reviews / PTF Reviews Super Suckers 2.3
June 10, 2016, 10:15:52 AM
 PTF Reviews Super Suckers 2.3

Well, how was everyone's Memorial Day? Mine involved having to take my aunt to the hospital because she felt dizzy. Fair enough. But then after an eight hour wait, I check on her to find I could have been out much sooner...but she didn't want to give a urine sample. And personally, I don't like being in a den of disease and death longer than I have to. So you can imagine I was little miffed. Very angry because I caught a bug in that horrid place.


So let's take all my anger out on Super Suckers Mirror, Mirror part three.

Kelly arrested, Jess a druggie, Sy has a weak bladder, fight, pretend girlfriends, and just the occasional insane moment or two awaits us!

The Good.

Trevor. Fine. I was wrong. It happens. Often. Yeah, I like him now that he's had more comic time and he's developed. I like that he's a dumb oaf with dumb luck who got what he wanted. Plus his hidden side. So yeah, he's going to be a fun addition to the cast.

Sheer insanity: God help me, but I love when there's so much insanity going on with so many characters. This issue made me think of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World. Just everyone running around, fighting, arguing, talking and all going in the same direction. It was all really enjoyable. Every character's personality's shined and I can take any word balloon and you probably guess who said what, so I really appreciate that. Every character gets a moment or joke that you laugh at. And that only makes this my favorite part of this story. And the expressions and body language of all the characters was great. Wonderful work by Darin and Shultz. And let's not forget co-host Robin Taylor.

Coloring and Inking: Just the usual superb job. The best showcase for both is when Kelly gets mad and goes ballistic. The red hue surrounding her head was a really nice touch.  And the lettering was also great.


The Bad.

Sitcommerical: Only one and it's a repeat.


Miscoloring. Jess's night gown was green in one panel. So a rare mistake by Glenn Whitmore. But to be fair, Barry Grossman miscolored the TMNTs bandanas on occasion, so no shame in it.



Yeah, there's not much wrong with this issue.



What I learned from what I read.

Don't make Kelly mad.
  • If you're going to go after vampires, learn to fight.
  • Funny how some people are related, huh?
  • Jess's dad has a week bladder.
  • No one believes a deranged looking individual screaming at the top of her lungs.
  • When someone says "Freak-a-zoid" I get the old cartoon theme in my head for hours—"freakzoid, chimpanzee!" Cripes, not again...!!
  • Trevor and cosmetology go together like lotion and hands.
  • Adam's hobbit hat will always be stupid that I will never be wrong about.
  • If you don't understand someone or they seem different...they're on drugs.
  • Snoopy walked into some weird going-ons!
 
This is one of my favorite issues I've read of Super Suckers. Everything clicked. It was fun face paced conclusion. Everything was wrapped up in a nice bow, great work all around. It's an easy A+.  You should really pick this comic up as it's a steal at 1.99 for the quality you get.

So until next time. Same time, Same BAT CHANNEL.

#50
Fan Fiction / Veronica in Silence
May 22, 2016, 09:05:52 PM
 Page 1

Panel one: Betty and Veronica are near a Cosmo soda machine in the hallway of Riverdale High as the school day is beginning. Both girls are looking at Archie as he is across the hall trying with both arms to keep his books and notes and various other items from falling out of his locker. Veronica has a purse draped over her left shoulder while Betty has her back pack in her right arm dragging on the floor. The Riverdale Bulldog mascot has a pink puppy dog backpack and a doggie bag as he makes his way amongst the students going up and down the hall to their classroom or taking or placing books in our out of their lockers.

Veronica: Sigh, look at my Archie, Betty. Isn't he suave?

Betty: And handsome, Veronica.

Panel two: Both Veronica and Betty turn to each other as they say the same thing at the same time.

Veronica and Betty: He's the man of my dreams!

Panel three: Betty is poking Veronica's face cheek with her right hand and pinching her arm with her left hand as Veronica reacts in shock and pain.

Betty: Jinx!

Betty: Pinch and a poke! You owe me a coke!

Veronica: !!

Panel four: Betty smiles triumphantly as Veronica glares at her and shakes a fist in her direction. She uses her other hand to rub her face cheek that had just gotten pinched.

Betty: You snooze, you lose, Ronnie. Remember, by girl code, you can't talk until you give me a soda.

Page 2

Panel one: Veronica uses one hand to wave off Betty's comment and the other to point at the Cosmo Soda machine just behind them as she grins arrogantly.

Betty: Yeah. I guess it's not going to be for long.

Panel two: Veronica is reaching into her purse and diamond encrusted dollar pouch as she begins to take out one of several thousand dollar bills.

Betty: Yowza! You could buy a soda franchise with your allowance!

Panel three: Betty looks on worriedly as Veronica is shoving the thousand dollar bill into the soda machine. Veronica turns her head and scoffs at Betty's suggestion.

Betty: Ron, maybe you should use smaller bills. The label says it only takes 1 and 5 dollar bills.

Panel four: The soda machine is beginning to overload from the large bill as Veronica doesn't notice as she has turned away and is using her free hand to mimic Betty's mouth. Betty notices sparks coming from the money slot of the soda machine.

Betty: Uh-oh.

Panel five: The soda machine begins to spark as both girls step back as it shake violently to the point it is causing the ground to shake as the two girls cling to each other for support. Various other students passing by don't fair much better. Especially one student who has his arms full with his paper-mache volcano as it erupts baking soda right up to the ceiling of Riverdale High.

Panel six: The machine is charred and has become warped like a squeezed soda can. The machine now reads OUT OF ORDER just above the money slot and the soda options are now totally blank. Betty is rubbing the back of her head as she assesses the damage while Veronica points at Betty while she uses her other hand like she is zipping her mouth shut as her way of telling Betty to ZIP IT! Just behind the girls we can see a puddle of baking soda.

Betty: Told'ja so.

Page 3

Panel one: Archie is coming over to the girls as he is looking around nervously and weaving his way past various students who are lying on the floor covered in baking soda. The kid with the paper-mache volcano is the worse as he looks like a living marshmallow with shocked bulging eyes. Veronica innocently backs towards the soda machine as if to cover it up and shrugs her shoulders and puckers her lips to seem like she is whistling harmlessly. Betty looks at Archie and taps her chin with her index finger as she comes up with a scheme to take Archie from Veronica.

Archie: You girls okay?! It's like a sumo wrestler stepped on a fault line!

Panel two: Betty is wrapping her arm around Archie and is leading him away from a stunned Veronica.

Betty: Archie, do you think we can sit together in 5th period, and together at lunch, and have a study date and then just a date?

Archie: Gee, Betty, I promised Veronica that—

Panel three: Betty continues to lead Archie away as Veronica, here eyes focused on Betty, is behind them as she punches back at the soda machine right at the Cosmo mascot as it seems to wince in pain from the blow.

Betty: Now, Archie, if Veronica minded I'm sure we would have heard something from her by now, don't you?

Archie: I guess.

Panel four: Archie and Betty are walking off in the distance as Betty skips along side Archie as she stills makes sure Archie can't turn around to see Veronica. Veronica is shooting daggers at Betty with here eyes. Over Veronica's head is a thought balloon of Veronica strangling Betty until she turns blue with her tongue hanging out to her side. Svenson is using a leaf blower to clean up the science fair project student and other students who smile in approval. The science fair student's face is being pushed back to the point he looks almost like Popeye the Sailor. The Cosmo mascot on the soda machine now has a black eye and missing teeth from the blow Veronica gave it.

Archie: Huh. I really thought Veronica would be upset and throw a fit.

Betty: Oh, I'm sure what Veronica's thinking is nothing but the best.

Page 4

Panel one: Veronica is stomping her foot as her face cheeks are bright red. Behind her the mascot drawing of Cosmo on the soda machine is backing away from the raging Veronica as it uses it's arms as shields as it doesn't want to be hurt again. Walking up to Veronica is Jughead who has a can soda that he is preparing to drink. Jughead is tapping the top of the soda so it doesn't spew.

Jughead: So the next dance sensation or another hissy fit from Riverdale's princess?

Panel two: Veronica eyes Jughead's soda and points at it as she is filled with relief.

Jughead: Huh? Oh this is a carbonate beverage. It's what we peasants drink in lew of nectar.

Panel three: Veronica is on her hands and knees as she is begging for the soda as Jughead tilts his head in confusion.

Jughead: So...you want this can of soda...?

Panel four: Veronica nods her head rapidly with a giant smile on her face as Jughead smiles back and gives her a thumbs up.

Jughead: Oh. I gotcha. Sure, Ronnie. What are friends for?

Panel five: Jughead tilts his head back as he lets the soda go into his wide open mouth as he gulps it down as small lumps of soda goes down his long stretched neck. Veronica is crawling on her knees and waving her arms frantically for Jughead to stop.

Jughead: gulp gulp gulp

Panel six: Jughead is burping as he is walking away after leaving Veronica with the empty soda can. Veronica is so upset that she slams the empty can into her forehead and completely flattens it.

Jughead: There you go. The can. Be sure to recycle it for when you're done, Veronica.

Page 5

Panel one: Veronica is beginning to stand up as she is dismayed as the one minute bell rings and students begin to go into classrooms. The science fair student from earlier looks on dejectedly as a line of students are carrying better and bigger paper-mache volcanoes than him as his paper-mache volcano is now warped and soggy.

VRRRIINNGG

Intercom: Remember students, one minute to get into your first period class. I repeat, one minute.

Panel two: Veronica slumps her shoulders and seems resigned into her newly appointed vow of silence as she enters Miss Grundy's classroom as Ginger Lopez and Adam wonder what is wrong with her as they are just outside of the classroom talking.

Panel three: Veronica is inside of the classroom as she is raising her arms to motion towards Miss Grundy whose attention is completely in her roll book as she checks off names. Around Veronica, Ethel, Moose, Chuck, and Frankie look at Veronica in confusion as they don't know what's wrong with her. Nancy is in front of Veronica as she raises her arm as she confirms she's here. Next to Nancy are two random students playing paper football as a real football is being thrown from outside into an open classroom window and heading their way.

Miss Grundy: Nancy?

Nancy: Here.

Miss Grundy: Veronica?

Miss Grundy: Veronica Lodge...?

Panel four: Miss Grundy looks up from her attendance book as Moose points at Veronica who is now standing up with her jaw dropped from Miss Grundy's comment. Veronica has her right hand just below her neck to illustrate how she feels insulted. One of the random students has the football jammed into his mouth as the other student tries to pull it free.

Moose: Duh, Veronica's here, Miss Grundy, but I don't think her vocal box is working.

Miss Grundy: Oh my! Veronica not talking! This might be pleasant if not serious!

Panel five: Miss Grundy motions towards the door as Veronica, with her head held down and back bent begins to dejectedly leave the class room.

Miss Grundy: Veronica, go see Nurse Robin.

Miss Grundy thinking: My. Look at that poor form. She must be awfully sick. I'll send word to Mr. Weatherbee...


Page 6

Panel one: Nurse Robin (a middle age woman in her forties with graying black hair and wearing typical nurse clothing) is using a small light to look into Veronica's mouth as Veronica is sitting on a nurse bed. One pillow on the bed seems to be reserved for Reggie Mantle with a tag reading: He'll Never Learn. The room is decorated with bird wall paper and various hand sanitizers on the walls. On a nearby desk is large over stuffed folder reading: ARCHIE ANDREWS ACCIDENTS and another even bigger folder reading: CAFETERIA FOOD.

Nurse Robin: Odd. No swelling of the tonsils even...

Panel two: Nurse Robin is talking with Veronica as Veronica lets out a sigh.

Nurse Robin: I don't see why you can't speak, Veronica.

Nurse Robin: Maybe it's all psychological?

Panel three: Suddenly Mr. Lodge bursts into the room as he is clearly panicked that something could be wrong with his daughter. Nurse Robin takes a step back as he charges into the room. In the hallway we can see a trampled hall monitor that Mr. Lodge had just plowed through as the kid vainly still his hand extended in a stop motion.

Mr. Lodge: Veronica! I just got a call from Mr. Weatherbee! Utter a syllable! Ask for a new dress! Say anything to your daddy!!

Panel four: Veronica tries to use sign language vainly to communicate what she is saying as she swishes her arms around as a caption box just at the bottom of the panel is there to communicate what she is saying. Nurse Robin and Mr. Lodge focus on what Veronica is trying to communicate.

Caption: I am a platypus. I go to Mars. My favorite color is cardboard.

Panel five: Nearly an identical shot as all three look down at the caption.

Panel six: Mr. Lodge hugs his daughter as he's worried she's sick while Nurse Robin looks like she's going to cry. Veronica has her head over Mr. Lodge shoulders as she rolls her eyes and twists her face in a "why me" type facial expression.

Mr. Lodge: Don't you worry, Veronica!! I'll get the best doctors!!

Page 7

Panel one: A shot of a Lodge Jet as it streaks across the sky as a flock of birds are flying in an E formation much to the confused pilot's bewilderment. The Lodge Jet stretches across the sky and has #25 on it to show that the Lodges' have at least twenty four more jets like this.

Mr. Lodge inside of the jet: Don't worry, Veronica! Daddy is here!

Panel two: Inside of the massive jet we see Mr. Lodge and Veronica in the middle seat of the massively roomed jet which includes a fifty inch TV, a sports bar, and even a mini golf course. Mr. Lodge and Veronica are sitting in golden and diamond encrusted seats as Mr. Lodge has an arm wrapped around Veronica as Veronica has hear elbows at her knees and her head in her open palm as she stares out dejectedly.

Mr. Lodge: We're going to see the best speech specialists in the world!

Mr. Lodge: I swear I will hear you ask if Archie can come over, and I'll tell you no just like always!

Panel three: Outside of a hospital that is nearly seven stories tall with a giant mouth and a red hospital cross as a log as we can see through tinted glass windows of two doctors all dressed in white gowns and wearing face masks and rubber gloves as one of the doctors has a tongue depressor on Veronica's tongue. At the ground level we see a sign reading Dr. Johnson/Johansson you will say Yes/Jah! Climbing on the wall of the Speech Hospital is a Human Fly as a Arachno-Man is swinging at him with his webbing, using his free hand to rub his stomach to motion that he's hungry.

Mr. Lodge: Dr. Johnson, Dr. Johansson! Tell me, what you've found!

Page 8

Panel one: Inside of the hospital room as Dr. Johansson (Slightly smaller than Dr. Johnson and a bit plumper) has the tongue depresser on Veronica's tongue as Dr. Johnson (Taller, wears glasses, and has a blond split curl sticking out from doctor's hat) tells Mr. Lodge their finding as Mr. Lodge rolls his eyes. Veronica glares at her doctors as she has a thought balloon of two donkeys as doctors to show what she really thinks of the speech specialists.

Dr. Johnson: Good news! She has a tongue!

Dr. Johansson: Ja! Dat's good start!

Panel two: Mrs. Lodge in a purple dress and white elegant purse walks into the doctor's office as Mr. Lodge rushes towards her. In the background, Dr. Johnson is tapping Veronica's forehead with his knuckle while Dr. Johansson is pulling at Veronica's left ear. Veronica is obviously irritated at the two bumbling doctors.

Mrs. Lodge: When I got your text, I flew right over. Now what is this all about, Hiram?

Mr. Lodge: Hermione, something is deeply wrong with our Veronica!

Panel three: Veronica is punching Dr. Johnson's stomach and kicking Dr. Johansson in retaliation as her face is red with rage and her teeth are gritted. In the background, Mr. and Mrs. Lodge look on.

Mrs. Lodge: She seems normal to me.

Mr. Lodge: She's aware! She's cognitive! But the last time anyone heard her utter a syllable was when she and Betty were dropped off for school.

Mrs. Lodge: Hm? Is that so...?


Page 9

Panel one: Mrs. Lodge is looking at Veronica as Veronica looks hopeful at her to the point she is nearly brought to tears.

Mrs. Lodge: Veronica...you didn't happen to speak with Betty last, did you?

Panel two: Veronica happily nods her head to reply as Mr. Lodge continues to query her daughter as she's beginning to understand what happened. Mr. Lodge and the two doctors look on with amazement.

Mrs. Lodge: You wouldn't happen to have said the same thing at the same time...?

Panel three: Mr. Lodge places a hand on each of Veronica's shoulders as Veronica has her head lowered in shame.

Mrs. Lodge: Honey, you and I practice every night to avoid this! A teenage girl always has to be on her guard!

Panel four: Veronica looks excited Mrs. Lodge hands her four quarters in her palm and motions for Veronica to leave.

Mrs. Lodge: Now you got get a soda out of the machine down the hall and take my personal jet back to Riverdale High before you miss your next period.

Panel five: Veronica is dashing out of the hospital room as the two doctors surround Mrs. Lodge and begins to question her about her "healing skills". Mr. Lodge is putting a hand across her back to push her towards the doctors as he is all smiles and proud of his wife. Mrs. Lodge has completely no idea and no way out as sweat forms at her forehead.

Dr. Johnson: Mrs. Lodge! You must tell us your secret cure!

Dr. Johansson: Ja! Da voiceless may speak dankes to you!

Mr. Lodge: Go on, Sweetie. Tell them! We can save lives and my pharmaceutical companies will make millions!!

Mrs. Lodge: Er...um. I need a refreshment...?

Page 10

Panel one: At the Riverdale cafeteria as Betty Cooper is startled from her Archie scrapbook by Veronica who slams a Cosmo Mars Cherry soda can in front of her. Behind Veronica, Nurse Robin is helping several students who are sick to their stomachs and faces have turned green out of the cafeteria as Miss Beazley looks on with contempt. The pictures we can see in the scrap book mostly seem to be ones of Betty taking the pictures of Archie behind trees and various other objects. One picture has Archie covering up with the shower curtain as Betty is taking a picture of him.

TINK

Betty: ?

Veronica: Here! Here's your stupid soda!!

Panel two: Betty is examining the soda as Veronica becomes enraged to the point veins are popping in her forehead and on her clenched fists. Betty doesn't notice as she innocently critiques the soda.

Betty: Thanks, Ronnie, but I only drink diet. And it's warm!

Panel three: Veronica leans nose to nose with Betty as she snarls and glares at Betty as Betty begins perspire out of fear as her eyes widen and she tries to lean her head away from Veronica.

Veronica: DRINK

Veronica: IT

Veronica: NOW!!!

Panel four: Veronica looks on with her arms folded across her chest as she monitors Betty as Betty begins to sip the soda can as she twists her face in disgust as she doesn't like the soda at all. In the background, two students are running away from Miss Beazley as Miss Beazley wants them to taste a stew in a long wooden spoon that has steam emitting from the stew that forms into a skull just above.

Betty thinking: Sheesh! If you can't say anything nice, then go back to not saying anything at all!!
#51
Fan Fiction / Betty in Angerer Management
May 22, 2016, 08:56:01 PM
 Page 1

Panel one: Betty and Archie are in Pickens Park sitting on a concrete park table and bench as they look at a kid a few inches taller than Dilton with dark red hair messy hair, a black shirt with a small orange and yellow flame on the front and long jeans that drag at the feet as he is walking along. The kid has a permanent scowl on his face nearly throughout the story. The weather is cloudy with the sunshine breaking through. Betty prepares to wave at him while Archie stops her by grabbing her wrist.

Betty: Hey, it's that new kid, Aaron Angerer! I haven't had the chance to greet him since he transferred to RHS last week!

Archie: Don't bother, Betty. I tried being nice and talking with Aaron and all he did was say he hated everything and was grumpy the entire conversation!

Panel two: Aaron Angerer is unhappily looking up at the sky as the clouds part and a small rainbow can be see in the bright blue sky with a gorgeous yellow sun overhead. A boy and his mother look up and enjoy the rainbow. The small boy points up and tugs at his mother's leg for her to look at the rainbow. In the background, Betty and Archie look on.

Boy: Mommy, look!

Mother: Yes, a nice pleasant little rainbow...

Panel three: Aaron waves off the rainbow in disgust as he continues to walk along. The mother and boy did not appreciate what Aaron said as the mother takes her son away from Aaron as the boy turns his head and makes a face at Aaron. Archie motions towards Betty in an "I told you so" type way as Betty sees Archie's point but tries to be optimistic as she brushes her hair with her right hand.

Aaron: I hate rainbows!

Archie: See?

Betty: Well, we all have bad days...

Page 2

Panel one: Archie holds up seven fingers as Betty looks over at Aaron as Aaron has stopped on his way as a line of ducks are crossing in front of him into a nearby pond. Aaron looks like he's going to erupt in rage at the seemingly endless line of ducks that stretches off-panel.

Archie: Most of us do. But Aaron Angerer he bad weeks!

Panel two: Betty puts a finger to her chin as she begins to think as a smile forms on her face. Archie looks off, and motions towards Pickens Park as he talks, not noticing that Betty is taking his words to heart.

Archie: I bet that he's going to walk around and not find one thing in Pickens Park that he likes.

Panel three: Betty jumps up and slams her palms on the table as a startled Archie falls out of his bench and lands on his back.

Betty: I'll take that bet!!! I'm sure I can help him reposition his bad disposition!!

SLAM

Archie: AAAHHH!!!

WHUD

Panel four: Betty is running down to Aaron Angerer, just as the line of ducks is beginning to end. As Archie is bent over on his back, he looks up and rolls his eyes towards a duck that is looking down at him with crazy eyes.

Archie: So, do you have the same trouble with girls too, Mr. Duck?

Duck: Quack! Quack!!

Caption: Translation: You bet I do, Donald! They drive me daffy!!

Page 3

Panel one: Aaron heatedly watches as the last duck finally crosses the path as he waits impatiently and expresses it by tapping his foot and tapping a finger against the side of his leg. Betty is running up to greet him.

Aaron Angerer: I hate ducks that only travel in single file line!

Betty: Aaron Angerer, right? My name's Betty Cooper!

Panel two: Betty extends his hand for Aaron to shake as Aaron looks down at like it was a bear trap.

Betty Cooper: Welcome to Riverdale!

Aaron Angerer: I hate first impressions!

Panel three: Aaron begins to walk off in a huff with both hands in his jean pockets as he brushes against a jogger. Betty flips her hand over and moves her fingers around as if to inspect if something is wrong with it as she's beginning to doubt her attempt to brighten up Aaron's day.

Aaron: I hate joggers who don't give the right of way.

Betty thinking: Huh, this might be tougher than I thought.

Panel four: Betty runs up to Aaron as above Aaron in the trees are several multi colored blooms in the tree and various birds enjoying nature as they fly about. On the ground are several rabbits who happily hop around the trees while a grasshopper is playing music using its legs like a guitar. A line of ants are struggling to fit a pink cupcake in their ant hill as the ant in charge leans his body over to motion for the other ants to pivot the cupcake.

Betty: How about I walk with you in Pickens Park? We can talk about all the things you see that you like!

Aaron: I don't like most of whatever I'm looking at.

Betty: I'm sure we can change that with positive thinking!

Aaron: I positively hate having to think.

Page 4.

Panel one: The two stop as a mother robin is with a baby robin in her nest looking down at the two with a smile. Betty points the robins out as Aaron scowls upward as he lets out a puff of air that curls his lips to his left side.

Betty: Well, just look up there. A robin and her baby bird.

Panel two: Betty is talking about the Mother Robin as the Mother Robin sticks her red chest out.

Betty: Just look at those feathers and that lovely red chest!

Panel three: The Mother Bird holds her baby in her arms as if to showcase him. The baby bird waves hello with one wing. Betty cups her hands to her face as she can hardly contain her happiness and excitement because of how adorable the baby bird is to her.

Betty: And look! A little baby robin! Isn't he the cutest?!

Panel four: Aaron waves off the robins in the tree as he moves along. The two robins glare down at Aaron as Betty is surprised at how quickly he dismissed the robins.

Aaron: I hate birds. Especially baby birds.

Panel five: The mother robin is pecking at Aaron's head as he tries and shields himself with his arms. The baby bird is barely flying as he attempts to join his mother. Betty folds her arms and looks away as she is displeased with Aaron. The ants have managed to fit the cupcake in the hill as the line is now bringing a plate, spoon, and empty glass cup as the ant in charge faints at the next few challenges he'll have to deal with.

Aaron Angerer: Ow! I hate being in pain!!

Betty thinking: Too bad you don't hate being a pain!!

Page 5.

Panel one: Betty looks up to see three squirrels in a tree looking on from a nearby tree branch. Betty's eyes light up as she has a new plan. The mother and baby robin are flying away as Aaron is sitting on the ground with his head bent down as several pain stars are over his head. The middle squirrel is imitating Aaron as the other two use their hands to make bird images swooping around it.

Betty: He might not like feathered woodland creatures—but maybe he'll like the furry ones!

Panel two: Betty is bent down towards Aaron and has the three squirrels in both hands as they all do a courtesy.

Betty: Say, do you know what I like best about the park?

Aaron: Squirrels?

Panel three: Aaron is rolling his eyes as he is barely paying attention. One squirrel is acting like a snob with its nose sticking straight up in the air, one squirrel is acting like he's eating and is sticking his stomach out, and one squirrel is pretending to trip over his own tail.

Betty: These little guys like to follow me and my friends around, and after awhile I decided to name them.

Panel four: The tallest squirrel does a one finger salute to his forehead, the middle squirrel extends both arms and stands sideways as he presents himself, and the shortest squirrel gives Aaron two thumbs up. Aaron scowls at the squirrels.

Betty: I named this one Wally.

Betty: This one is Nutmeg

Betty: And this one is Oaky-Doaky

Page 6

Panel one: Aaron stands up and dusts himself off as he talks about how he doesn't like the squirrels to even Betty's surprise. Wally and Nutmeg glare at Aaron as Oaky-Doaky uses his tail to cry on.

Aaron: I don't like squirrels. They're covered in disease and can get you sick!

Panel two: A close-up on the three squirrels as they seem to be conversing with each other. We see Betty's face as she raises an eyebrow as she's wondering what they are talking about.

Betty: Um...
                                                 
Panel three: Betty's face is alarmed as Wally slams a fist into his open palm as Nutmeg and Oaky-Doaky nod in approval and peer over at Aaron with devious smiles curled across their faces.

Panel four: The three squirrels are now in the tree branches above the trail as they begin to pelt Aaron with more acorns. On the ground, nuts are at Aaron's ankle showing they've been laying waste to him for a good, long time.  Wally has several in one arm as he is throwing, Nutmeg is punting the acorns out of the tree at Aaron, and Oaky-Doaky is loading up five acorns at once on a tree branch as he pulls it back and is read to unleash a barrage. Betty sits under the shade of a tree with her head on her palms as she watches. Next to her is a tortoise reading a comic book with various mutant ninja animals on it. A hare is hopping towards the tortoise. Aaron is running around in a circle like a chicken with its head cut off as he is screaming in anger. In the branches a sad spider has woven a web that reads: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD READ THIS.

Aaron: I hate all the 100 ways to hurl nuts at my head!!

Betty: Sigh.

Betty: Maybe we should try avoiding animals...

Page 7

Panel one: Aaron is sneezing into a handkerchief as Betty holds up several flowers towards his face as she looks with an eyebrow raised in surprised. Aaron's nose is runny and his eyes are water to the point he looks like he's crying. Behind Aaron and Betty, the hare is pointing and laughing with its eyes closed at the tortoise, which is now wearing a black mask bandana and is coming at the hare with a ninja flying jump kick.

Aaron Angerer: I—WWWAHHHCCHHUU!!---hate flowers!! Acchuuu!!! Accchuuu!!!

Panel two: Aaron is being chased by an elderly woman with a cane and an elderly man in a wheel chair who tilts his body forward as he tries to get even more leverage to go faster. Betty steps back and looks on speechlessly. Next to Betty, the hare, with a footprint of the tortoise's footprint on its face, has become the disciple of the tortoise as they are both practicing the crane pose ala the Karate Kid.

Aaron Angerer: I hate elderly people in the park!!

Panel three: Aaron is looking at the bottom of his shoe as Betty holds her nose to try and block the stench. Behind them is a man walking his dog as they continue along. In the background, Nutmeg and Wally are playing leap frog as Nutmeg rides a rabbit and Wally a frog. Above Betty is Oaky Doaky flying in the air thanks to several multi-colored butterflies carrying him. Oaky Doaky has one fist ahead as he strikes a Superman flying pose.

Aaron Angerer: I hate people who walk their dogs!!

Panel four: Betty is eating an apple from under an apple tree. Behind her, unbeknownst to her, Aaron is getting bombarded by several apples that fall out of the tree as he puts both arms over his head  and bends over to try and defend himself. The reason for the apples falling on him is a woodpecker pecking at the branch as hard and fast as it can.

Aaron Angerer: I hate apples!! 

Panel five: Aaron Angerer has a tree branch over his body as Betty begins to lift if off of him as Aaron swats an apple away. The tree branch has several more apples on it with various colored worms sticking their heads out wondering what happened. In the apple tree, the woodpecker cups its wings over its head in triumph. In the nearby bushes, a sasquatch and a jackalope peek out of some nearby bushes to see what the commotion is.

Aaron Angerer: I hate the apple trees, too!!

Page 8

Panel one: A disappointed and exhausted Betty and a still scowling Aaron Angerer walk up to Archie where Betty left him as Archie has a smile on his face as he can tell by Betty's facial expression that she didn't find one thing Aaron liked in all of Pickens Park.

Archie: So how was your stroll in the park?

Betty: Like a safari in the jungle!

Panel two: Archie asks Aaron a question as Betty hangs her head in defeat.

Archie: Say, Aaron, pray tell...anything in Pickens Park you like?

Panel three: Aaron begins to think as Betty and Archie look on. Betty is happily surprised as she looks over towards Aaron and Archie is flabbergasted.

Aaron: One thing...

Archie: Really? Wow! What?!

Panel four: Aaron is smiling at Betty as Betty blushes and smiles back. Archie looks on jealously as he balls his fists and glares at Aaron.

Aaron: I really liked walking and talking with Betty!

Panel five: Archie has Betty by her left arm and begins to drag her away from Aaron as Aaron and Betty wave goodbye to one another. Next to Aaron is Wally and Nutmeg still riding the frog and rabbit as they wave goodbye. Above Aaron, Oaky-Doaky is being carried in the air by the butterflies as he motions with one hand to bring him closer as he plans to fall down the back of Aaron's shirt.

Archie: That's the one thing in the park I didn't like!!

THE END
#52
Fan Fiction / Archie in The Man Known By No Name
May 22, 2016, 08:53:36 PM
 Page 1

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is dragging Archie along a street near several diners with various tables and seats outside. One person is complaining to a waiter about a fly in his soup.

Mr. Andrews: Archie! Archie! Hurry up or we'll miss him!!

Archie: I'll be missing an arm if you keep pulling!!

Panel two: Archie is walking behind his dad as his dad is looking through the outside tables in one of the street diners. Archie is rubbing his shoulder and moving his arm across his chest as he tries to regain feeling in it. Mr. Andrews is as giddy as a school kid at a new toy as several diners look at him like he's nuts. The waiter is holding up a spider-web as a spider is descending into the soup.

Archie: Who are we looking for, dad?

Mr. Andrews: My co-worker at the office called me and told me that my favorite western star growing up was visiting Riverdale!!

Panel three: Mr. Andrews pointing ahead.

Mr. Andrews: There!

Panel four: We look to see a man who looks like Clint Eastwood as he is glaring at an empty chair. Flint Northwood is wearing a dirty white cowboy hat, an old brown trench coat and cowboy boots as he is drinking a root beer float. The table next to him has two empty seats. Flint's table has four chairs: One next to Flint, the other next to the empty chair. On the table in front of the empty chair, is cup full of water with a straw facing the chair. Every time Flint talks his teeth are clenched.

Mr. Andrews: Bimbo, Surly, The Pale Horse Rider, Howdy Bates, and the Man Known By No Name—

Mr. Andrews: FLINT NORTHWOOD!!!

Page 2:

Panel one: Archie is scratching his head as he doesn't see what's so great about Flint Northwood as Mr. Andrews ignores him and rushes over to see Flint Northwood. As he runs, he bumps into a waiter carrying pitcher of water on a tray as it begins to fall on a man. Flint has his cowboy hat over his eyes.

Archie: The guy in that movie about the old car?

Mr. Andrews: He's more than just that! He's rode horses!!

Panel two: Mr. Andrews is standing next to Flint Northwood as Flint doesn't acknowledge him as he takes a sip of his root beer. Mr. Andrews is trying to hold his excitement, but failing. Archie is following after his dad in the background and accidentally bumps into another waiter carrying a pitcher of water on a tray as the water falls backwards onto someone sitting.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood, pardner...er, sir. Sir. I grew up watching your shows and movies! I make sure my family watches five of your movies each and every week!

Panel three: Archie is apologizing as he turns and continues on. The two waiters are angry and the drenched diners look like they could strangle Archie and his dad. Flint Northwood puts his drink down and looks ahead sternly, not acknowledging Mr. Andrews by looking at him. Mr. Andrews leaps up in joy.

Flint Northwood: A man shouldn't stand about when an open chair is right in front of him.

Panel four: Archie is heading towards the seat next to Northwood as his dad takes the seat closest to Northwood. Mr. Andrews introduces Archie as Archie waves hello at Flint Northwood. Flint eyes Archie.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood this is my boy, Archie.

Archie: Hello, sir. My dad quotes you all the time.

Panel five: Archie stops as he's about to sit down in the empty chair next to Flint when Flint glares at him with cold blue eyes and gnashing teeth.

Archie: EEEP

Panel six: Archie moves away from the seat and looks confused as no one is in it. Flint takes another sip from his root beer float.

Flint Northwood: Not that chair. Can't you see someone's in it?

Page 3

Panel one: Archie scratches his head as he questions Flint about someone sitting in the empty chair. Flint rolls his eyes towards Archie. Mr. Andrews slams his hands down on the table as he reprimands Archie for daring to question Flint Northwood. Mr. Andrews slams the table so hard, that a waiter carrying water is startled and tips his water on the person sitting at the next table behind Mr. Andrews. The glass of water in front of the empty chair, unnoticed by everyone, is being stirred using its straw by an unseen presence.

Archie: I don't mean to be disrespectful...but there's no one sitting in that chair.

Mr. Andrews: Archie! Don't be disrespectful at all!!

Panel two: Flint Northwood glares at Archie as Archie begins to back away. Behind Archie another waiter is carrying water as a person sitting at the table behind Archie sees him coming.

Flint Northwood: You seem like a spunky boy, punk.

Panel three: Archie bumps into the waiter just behind him, but the person sitting has an umbrella out and stops the water from landing on him.

Flint Northwood: Well, are you spunky. Well, are you, spunky punk?!!

Archie: No! No! I hate spunk!!

Panel four: Archie takes the other empty seat as a waiter leaves menus for the three. The straw in the water is now back to where it was before. Flint nods in approval at Archie's decision as Mr. Andrews vehemently apologies to Flint Northwood.

Archie: I'll sit here, if that's okay...

Mr. Andrews: I apologize! I swear he didn't get his sass from me! It has to be his mother!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is talking with Flint Northwood as Archie's eye begins to follow a hot attractive teen walking past him. Unnoticed by everyone, an unseen force is beginning to drink from the glass as the water lowers just a bit in the glass. Flint is cracking his knuckles.

Mr. Andrews: I'm sure it comes from his girlfriend Veronica Lodge.

Flint Northwood: I've heard of the Lodges.

Panel two: Archie continues to look on with glazed love eyes as the teenage girl sits down in the table just in front of him, seemingly alone. Northwood continues to talk with Mr. Andrews as Mr. Andrews takes in every word like it were the most important moment of his life. The glass is now 3/4ths filled.

Flint Northwood: A sorry bunch of sod busters who fenced in the range with their barbwire fences to cut off cattle drives and stymie the way of the cowboy.


Panel three: Archie's shoulders slump as the teenage girl's boyfriend, carrying an open umbrella, begins to pull a chair up to sit next to her. A waiter walks by and looks on as he is carrying water and angry that he isn't trusted with his tray of water. Mr. Andrews responds to what Flint said. The glass is now half way full.

Mr. Andrews: I think that's how their family came into money.

Flint Northwood: Yep.

Panel four: Archie turns away disappointed as he begins to eye the now empty glass of water . The waiter is pouring the pitcher of water on the teen boy's umbrella just to spite him. Flint Northwood continues to talk to Mr. Andrews as Mr. Andrews continues to be enamored by his hero.

Flint Northwood: Course I married a woman full of sass three wives past. A strong woman can build a man up.

Archie: ?

Panel five: Archie has the empty glass of water and is holding it up to see if the bottom is leaking to explain how the water went away. Mr. Andrews is looking over at Archie and point at him to comply with what he is saying. More people in the diner are pulling out umbrellas and raincoats as waiters carrying a tray with pitcher of water and knocking them over seem to be increasing by the droves. Archie isn't paying any attention to his dad at all.

Mr. Andrews: You hear that Archie?! I want you to date Veronica and Veronica only!

Archie: Yeah. Sure.


Page 5.

Panel one: Archie is putting the glass back down as has no idea what happened to the water inside. Several people in rain coats are being lead to their seat by an angry waiter as another waiter is mopping the floor. Mr. Andrews continues to talk with Flint Northwood who now has a piece of straw in his mouth.

Flint Northwood: 'Course a good woman does a man a heap of good as well...

Mr. Andrews: Really!? Good! I married a good woman! She takes the garbage out! She's great!

Panel two: Archie looks over as the people in the raincoat trip and fall because of the wet floor. Another waiter looks at the accident as he pours his pitcher of water on some gentleman's lap. Archie winces as he shows empathy for the fallen couple. Archie is beginning to open the menu.

Flint Northwood: Got me a good woman now finally. Soft like a flower pedal.

Panel three: Archie's eyes light up as he looks at the menu and sees the following stretched across two pages: I SEE YOU, CAN YOU SEE ME, ARCHIE?

Flint Northwood: Used to never clean my boots, chew with my mouth closed, and never bought an extra box of girl scout cookies...

Panel four: Archie looks over at the empty chair and empty glass; straw is now on the table somehow. The menu now reads: GUESS NOT, HUH? Mr. Andrews continues to listen to Flint Northwood.

Flint Northwood: Makes a man feel good. Almost like cattle going days without water until he finds a creek.

Mr. Andrews: I feel like that when I'm thirsty!!

Panel five: Archie's face is pale as he looks on uncomprehendingly as he drops the menu flat the table. Mr. Andrews is talking with Archie as Archie just barely responds as he Archie has no idea what is going on.

Mr. Andrews: You hear that, Archie! I want you to date Betty more!! She's a nice girl who can straighten you out some!!

Archie: Sure...that's fine....

Page 6.

Panel one: Mr. Andrews and Flint Northwood are standing up as Mr. Andrews shakes Flint's arm with both hands and as hard as he can; Flint is too grizzled and tough to even notice as his hat nearly falls off his head.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood it was an honor to finally meet you...

Panel two: Mr. Andrews looks over at Archie as Archie is tempting to feel for a person in the empty chair, but is hesitant because he might actually find an invisible person sitting there.

Mr. Andrew:  ...And I know my son feels the same way.

Panel three: Mr. Andrews and Archie are walking away. Mr. Andrews has his arm wrapped around Archie's shoulder as they leave. The couple in the raincoat are chasing after the waiter who was mopping as they cause a waiter carrying another pitcher of water to spin about, splashing several tables with water. The entire floor is completely wet. Flint Northwood is in the background adjusting his cowboy hat.

Mr. Andrews: What an afternoon! It's not everyday you see a celebrity!

Archie: Yeah, I like it when I can see people, too..!!

Panel four: Mr. Northwood is walking away from the table as he looks back at the chair as it is now being pulled in the table by an invisible force.

Northwood: Well, pardner, we best mosey on. Wife's gotta be wondering' where I'm at.

Mr. Northwood: Push the chair up. You weren't raised in a barn.

Panel five.: Everyone in the diner, from the waiters to the umbrella using/rain coat wearing customers looks on as Flint Northwood is walking away with his hands in his trench coat pocket on the extremely wet floor. Right next to him are footprints being pressed in the water. All the customers, with whatever drink they have, are now pouring it out on the floor. The waiter with the mop now has it on his head and eyes as he stumbles around and can't see as he begins to slip.

Flint Northwood: I'm tellin' ya, you'll do great at the convention. You just sit down and answer when I talk to ya.

Flint: ...

Flint: Yeah, I'm sure you'll do better than me in the last season of Cattle Drive. Smarty aleck rassa frassam bunny-rabbit!

#53
 Page 1

Panel one: Archie and Jughead are walking into Jughead's room as Jughead is stepping over a pile of clothing. Jughead's room is a mess with various food wrappers, pizza box cartons, empty soda cans, and various comics scattered everywhere. Archie nudges at a pile of dirty clothes with the tip of his show.

Jughead: Arch, I was thinking about how everyone calls me lazy, a glutton, and even a tad messy.

Archie: A tad messy meaning you're only responsible for your room's upkeep in your home....thankfully.

Panel two: Jughead is knelt by the side of his bed as he is reaching under his bed for something. Sticking out from under the bed, we can see various magazines, half eaten pizza crusts and action figures. Archie holds up a moldy half eaten burger and sticks out his tongue in disgust.

Jughead: And thinking about thinking made me realize I do too much thinking! My life can be even simpler!

Archie: You're talking about eliminating cognitive thinking from your daily life? Even you can't be lazy enough to do that.

Jughead: Oh no...?

Panel three: Jughead holds a magic 8-ball up to Archie's face as Archie's eyes go cross-eyed as he looks at in surprise.

Archie: A magic 8-ball?!

Jughead: Yep. Just ahead of the lunch bell and right behind the BLT sandwich in the list of greatest inventions ever.

Page 2

Panel one: Archie looks skeptically at Jughead as Jughead waves off Archie's comment while shaking up the magic 8-ball.

Archie: Don't you mean "toy"?

Jughead: I mean, my ticket to not having to waste one volt of brain power ever again. Not having to think about the answer to a question ever again! Not having to think of witty retort when a picture speaks maybe six words at the most.

Panel two: Archie is getting testy as Jughead holds up the Magic 8-Ball as it reads: WITHOUT A DOUBT.

Archie: C'mon, Jug! You're not really going to go around carrying that oversized novelty item, are you?

Panel three: Jughead holds up a hand as he wants to borrow money from Archie. Archie folds his arms and turns away from Jughead's open palm.

Jughead: I'd also like to carry maybe a five dollar bill in my pocket for a burger at Pop's .

Archie: You think I'm going to give you five dollars after you never repayed the ten dollars you borrowed last week?!

Panel four: Jughead reaches over Archie's right shoulder and holds the Magic 8-Ball up against Archie's nose as his eyes widen and looks down at the 8-ball that reads: IT IS CERTAIN

Panel five: Jughead playfully juggles the 8-ball as he leaves his room. Archie, with pant pockets sticking out to show he has no money left, is left behind to fume as he angrily looks over his left shoulder.

Archie: I hope Jughead mistakes it for a bowling ball.

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead is at Betty's kitchen door as he olds up the magic 8-ball as it reads: Outlook Good. Out the window of the kitchen we can see a frog eyeing a corned fly on the window ledge. Betty is wearing a cooking apron that has batter and flower on it and oven mitts as she opens the door to greet Jughead as Jughead shakes up the magic 8-ball.

Betty: Oh, Jughead. Would you like to come in?

Panel two: Betty looks at the magic 8-ball in Jughead's hands as she thinks it's adorable as Jughead looks ahead proudly. The 8-ball reads: YES

Betty: Hey, I used to have one of these when I was little!

Panel three: Betty is looking over the 8-ball as Jughead walks ahead and happily sniffs the air. Out the window, the fly is posing on top of the defeated frog as it cups all its arms in a victory celebration.

Betty: When I was a kid, I used to think that it was really magical. I remember when Ronnie and me played around with it and she asked if Archie would marry her first...

Panel four: Betty turns around to see that Jughead is finishing off a cake that she had just finished. On the kitchen table is the near empty cake pan, empty frosting case, and a few dozen egg shells with flour sprinkled on the table.

Betty: Jughead! That was for Archie! Do you think I would let you eat the entire cake?!

Panel five: Jughead uses one finger at the top of the magic 8-ball to turn the window to Betty as Betty holds the 8-ball near her eyes. The magic 8-ball reads: YES—DEFINITELY

Panel six: Betty is sobbing and stomping her feet as Jughead acts like he is polishing the 8-ball with his hand as he whistles innocently.

Betty: It's wrong! Just like it was the last time I threw one against a wall!!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Jughead is walking on his way to Pop's as Reggie struts in front of him with a lady on each arm as he showboats. Reggie smiles and has a twinkle in his teeth as he sticks his chest out proudly. The girls seem to believe his claim. A man is looking up at a plane that has a large banner that continues off panel; so far it reads: IF YOU ARE READING

Reggie: Ladies, ladies, am I not the greatest guy in all of Riverdale?

Panel two: Jughead holds The Magic 8-ball up to Reggie's face as the 8-ball reads: MY SOURCES SAY NO

Reggie: ?!?

Panel three: Reggie pushes the 8-ball away as the two teenage girls look over at it. Reggie has a fist balled as he looks like he wants to punch Jughead who just shrugs his left shoulder. The man is still reading the plane's banner as more of it is shown: THIS THEN YOU MIGHT

Reggie: Oh, that's real cute, Needlenose! I'm going to backhand you back to preschool so you can play with your toy!!

Panel four: The two teenage girls walk past Reggie and Jughead with their noses stuck up in the air as Reggie turns around, forgetting about Jughead as Jughead begins to walk away without a second thought. The man continues to read the large banner as more of it is shown: CONSIDER READING ARCHIE COMICS

Reggie: Girls! Girls! Where you going!?

Girl one: Sorry Reggie—

Panel five: Reggie is pulling at his hair and his face is bright red as he is enraged as the girls leave him behind. The man is holding his neck as he now has a crink in it as the plane's banner is finally finished: IT WOULD BE LESS OF A PAIN IN THE NECK!!!

Girl two: --But we only hang out with the best.

Reggie: GRRRRRR!!!

Page 5.

Panel one: We are now in the Chocklit Shoppe as Jughead is eating at the counter as he hands Pop Tate a five dollar bill for payment for the Big Pop (like a Burger King's big Whopper only much bigger.) Jughead is drinking soda from a straw as Pop Tate begins to talk to him.

Pop Tate: Why, a paying customer today, are we?

Pop Tate: How about paying a bit more on your tab?

Panel two: Jughead is taking a bite out of his burger with one hand as he holds the 8-ball up to Pop Tate as it reads: REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.

Pop Tate: What?!

Panel three: Pop Tate holds Jughead's hand down and begins to shake the magic 8-ball as Jughead vibrates as he continues to eat, splattering ketchup on various teens walking past him as he goes about eating undaunted.

Pop Tate: This oughta clear ya up!!

Panel four: Pop Tate is fuming as the 8-Ball begins to clear up from all the bubbles covering the die.

Panel five: Pop Tate is wide eyed as the 8-ball is clear and it reads: BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW.

Panel six: Jughead is cleaning his fingers after eating his burger as Pop Tate walks away in defeat. Behind Jughead, Ethel is happily skipping towards him as she has her hair tied up in a bun and is wearing a purple blouse with yellow polka dots.

Pop Tate: Sigh.

Pop Tate: Good. Because if it did...I think I just might cry.

Page 6.

Panel one: Ethel is showing off her clothing as she strikes a pose as Jughead half pays attention as he prepares to hold up 8-ball to answer her.

Ethel: Juggie, what do you think of my new blouse? You do like it, don't you?

Panel two: Ethel is ecstatic at the 8-ball's response as Jughead pays attentions as he jerks his head around.

Ethel: Yes! I knew you'd love it! I just new it?

Jughead: ?

Panel three: Jughead looks at the 8-ball to find that it reads: YES.

Panel four: Ethel is leaning across to Jughead as Jughead feverously begins to shake the magic 8-ball.

Ethel: Aw, you can be so sweet, Juggie.

Ethel: How about taking me to the movies tonight? Think about it. You and me watching a romantic movie...holding hands as we stare into each others eyes.

Panel five: Jughead holds up the magic 8-ball as it reads: YOU MAY RELY ON IT.

Panel six: Ethel is leaping up and down in joy as everyone in Pop's turns to look at her. Jughead face palms as he looks at the answer the 8-ball had given.

Ethel: YES! YES! YES!

Page 7

Panel one: Moose and Midge are walking into the Chocklit Shoppe as Ethel races outside. In the background we can see Jughead headbutting the 8-ball as he now is upset that he has to go on a date with Ethel.

Midge: Moose, do you really think I have a chance to win the Miss Teen Riverdale contest?

Moose: Duh, I don't know much, but I know you're da most beautiful girl in Riverdale.

Panel two: Midge is blushing at Moose's compliment as Moose pats Jughead on the shoulder to get his attention.

Midge: Really?

Moose: Really! Even a guy who don't like girls like Jughead here knows you're pretty.

Panel three: Jughead apprehensively holds up magic 8-ball as he winces and hopes for the best result possible. Moose is motioning for Midge to listen to Jughead.

Moose: Jug, you know that my Midgie's gonna win Miss Teen Riverdale, right?

Panel four: Moose and Midge peer over at the 8-ball. Midge looks sad as Moose is becoming enraged.

Panel five: A close-up on the answer of the magic 8-ball as it reads: DON'T COUNT ON IT!! Jughead gulps as he frightfully eyes upwards towards an angry Moose.

Panel six: Moose has Jughead held up in the air by his shirt collar as he begins to violently shake him to the point it looks like there are five of Jughead. Behind Moose a few steps away, Midge is trying to make Moose let go of Jughead

Moose: DUH, WELL WHO ASKED YA?!!

Page 8.

Panel one: Jughead, with the 8-ball tucked under his right arm, is out by the side of The Chocklit Shoppe as he is heading for a dumpster in the alleyway as Archie walks up to him.

Archie: So, Jug—how'd your experiment go?

Panel two: Jughead is entering the alley as he is stomping towards the dumpster as he now has the magic 8-ball in his hand.

Jughead: Archie, you know how toys have labels like "for children 10 and up?"

Archie: Yeah....

Panel three: Jughead just slams the magic 8-ball into the dumpster causing three stray cats to leap up from the dumpster with their hair stood up in fright as Jughead's face twists in anger. Archie shrugs his shoulders as he smiles and looks at the reader.

Jughead: Well, you need to be a priest or have military training before you operate this darn thing!!!

Archie: Amen and Ten-hut to that!

#54
Fan Fiction / Betty in A Rose in the Hand.
May 15, 2016, 07:39:22 PM
 Page one

Panel one: Betty is babysitting a small red haired girl and is in the small girl's room, which has a shelf with several children's book beside the wall. Several dolls can be seen, the bed quilts are pink and the walls to the room are a light lavender color. Courtney is wearing Super Duck pajamas and has a Cosmo the Merry Martian doll she is holding by one of its arms.

Betty: Okay, Courtney, its seven thirty and that means bedtime.

Courtney: If I've gotta go to bed, can't I at least have a story?

Panel two: Betty is bending down in front of the bookshelf as she skims the spines of the books, having trouble picking out a book. Courtney is sitting up in bed as she waits impatiently.

Betty: Huh. It looks like I've read everything here to you...

Courtney: Then make one up..!

Panel three:  Betty sits back down on the side of the bed as Courtney has her knees to her chest as she sits eagerly for her new story.

Betty: I don't have to. In my creative writing class, we just had an assignment where we created our very own fairy tale. I think I remember it well enough off hand.

Courtney: Is it good?

Betty: I like to think so, but you can be the judge.

Page two:

Panel one: Betty is beginning the story as the panel has her head at the right of the corner. The rest of the panel shows a castle surrounded by a moat, basically the typical fairy tale castle.

Caption: A long time ago, in a far away land, there was a peaceful kingdom where a wise king and queen reigned justly, but they were getting old and wanted the princess to be a queen, so...

Panel two: A shot inside the throne room as Mr. Cooper, Mrs. Cooper, and Betty are dressed in royal garb and sitting on their own throne. Mr. Cooper is King, Mrs. Cooper Queen, and Betty is a princess. They are surrounded by several servants wearing gold and blue armor. Several banners of gold and blue are hung about the stone walls of the castle. A knight is using a light switch to turn on a torch that is hanging from the wall. Another knight is holding a sword with a blue hilt and an identical sword save for a red hilt as he decides which is better. A red carpet leads the way to their thrones.

King Cooper: Princess Betty, it is time you picked from your two suitors.

Queen Cooper: Yes, dear. Your father and I can't begin our retirement plan of touring Never Never Land if you never ever live happily ever after.

Panel three: A knight is leading the way inside the throne room as two figures, obscure at the moment, follow behind. One of the figures has his head held high and is strutting while the other is much more nervous. Princess Betty leans out of her thrown and looks on excitedly.

King Cooper: Bring forth the eligible suitors!

Courtney Caption: So she has to pick?

Betty Caption: Yep. And here they come now...

Panel four: We see Prince Archie and Prince Reggie entering into the throne room. Archie looks less elegant than Reggie as most of his clothes are dirty and tattered. Reggie is wearing the fanciest of clothes and a long purple, diamond encrusted cape. Archie is staring at Princess Betty with heart shaped eyes as Princess Betty looks at him the same way. Reggie has his arms extended, showing off himself, as he strikes a pose, completely oblivious to Archie and Betty's true feelings towards one another. In the background, a knight has his visor up as he is eating an apple. Beneath his feet are several apple cores.

Knight: Presenting Prince Archie The Two Left Feeted and Prince Reggie of the Big Mouth.

Page three:

Panel one: Reggie pushes past the knight as the knight shakes a fist at him. Archie is on his tip toes as he is still in his love daze. In the background a knight is wheeling a maiden in a wheelbarrow as another knight gives chase.

Courtney caption: Why is Prince Archie wearing those torn clothes? Couldn't he afford better?

Betty Caption: You'll see why in a few seconds.

Princess Reggie: When I become king, you'll need to collect tin cans for coins, because you won't be paid for wearing one!

Panel two: Princess Betty is rolling her eyes as Reggie has pulled out a mirror to look at himself. King and Queen Cooper are irritated, but trying to remain patient with him. Archie is being pushed along by the knight as he begins to trip over his own feet. In the background, a knight is showing a startled knight his two pet lions. The lions are docile and rub up against the owner's leg like they were kittens.

Prince Reggie: Noble King and Queen, trust me when I say this: Princess Freckles behind me there doesn't have my dashing good looks, my winning smile, my panache, my—

Prince Archie: I'm going, I'm going, don't push--!

Panel three: Prince Archie trips over Reggie. King and Queen face palm, but Princess Betty is amused and chuckling to herself.

THWOP

Reggie: ooofff

Courtney caption: Oh. That's why.

Panel four: Princess Betty is watching as Prince Reggie is jerking his cape from under Archie's body, causing him to roll off like he was a small tumbleweed.

Prince Reggie: This cape is worth more than your entire kingdom plus the spare change in your sofa, dolt! Get off!

Archie: Whoa!

Panel five: King Cooper has risen from his throne as he begins to make a proclamation. Everyone in the room looks on, save for Archie who is staggering about, still dizzy from his little spin.

King Cooper: It is time that my daughter takes a husband, and she will—

Page four:

Panel one: Prince Reggie steps ahead of Prince Archie as if he's already the chosen husband. Archie looks on agitated while Princess Betty sticks her tongue out in disgust. Two knights in the background are backing away from a green knight who is offering them an ax with one hand and pointing at his head with the other.

Prince Reggie: Good looks, wealthy kingdom, and an iron fist wrapped in a mitten of love and understanding. I'm yours, Sugar.

Panel two: Prince Reggie turns around to sneer at Prince Archie. Prince Archie rubs his left arm sheepishly as he's embarrassed by what Reggie says. A knight looks over at a small green pet dragon who has its tail bandaged up as it hides in the corner of the throne room.

Prince Reggie: I mean, last time he was here, he nearly burnt down your kingdom.

Prince Archie:...I didn't mean to step on the dragon's tail...

Panel three: King Cooper has grown impatient as he motions towards Princess Betty, who begins to rise from her throne.

King Cooper: If you two would stop your yammering, my daughter will explain your quest.

Panel four: Archie is staring at Princess Betty with lovey dovey eyes while Reggie seems worried about the quest as he looks over himself in the mirror.

Prince Archie thinking: She's so beautiful.

Prince Reggie thinking: A quest? I didn't raise taxes on the peasants to buy griffin aftershave for this face of mine to get besmirched!

Page five:   

Panel one: Princess Betty is talking to the Princes, but here eyes are directed at only Prince Archie. Princess Betty's tiara and dress are glistening in the sunlight coming from a window as she explains the quest. Reggie has his hand to his chin as he begins to ponder and plot. Princess Archie is in his own world as he has several small hearts over his head. In the background, one knight is preparing to fight two other knights.

Princess Betty: Which ever of you who shall take my hand in marriage must first venture forth and find me a rose. Whosoever brings me the best rose by my eyes shall be my future husband.

Panel two: Princess Betty gets excited and leaps into the air as she pumps her first. This startles the knights and her parents as they jump back. The Princes are both startled and snap out of whatever chain of thought they were in. In the background one of the two knights runs over to the lone knight to join his side as the now abandoned knight looks on in shock.

Princess Betty: SO STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES!!! LET'S GO!!!

Prince Archie and Prince Reggie: !!!

Panel three: Prince Archie zooms ahead along the red carpet as Princess Reggie holds the end of the red carpet over his head. In the background, the knight now alone has his hands raised above his head in surrender while the two other knights bump fists.

Prince Archie: I swear to win Princess Betty's heart fair and square—

Panel four: Reggie sends the end of the carpet crashing down as it creates a small red tidal wave that sweeps Archie off his feet and sends him sailing out the throne room head first, like he had been shot out of a cannon. In the background, the three knights who did a mock fight look on in disgust as another knight in a fancy bright blue and bright yellow fancy armor strolls towards them.

Archie: Yikes!!!

Panel five: Simply the words: CRASH in bright red.

Panel six: Outside the hall of the castle as Archie is lying amongst the rubble of a suit of armor that had been standing along the wall as Prince Reggie zooms past him as two servants open a large door for him. Lying along the pile are a white shield, a box of armor wash named VULGATE CYCLE, and a newly dented grail. Archie is trying to get a helmet with the visor clamped shut off his head.

Prince Archie: If this wasn't a children's book, I'd do a different kind of swearing right about now!!

Page six:

Panel one: Reggie is in a rose garden of some poor peasants (a mother, father, and two small sons) sadly look on as he is stomping through the flowers with out a moment's thought to them ass he tries to find the perfect rose.

Reggie: Wilted...not colorful enough...bee in this one...

Panel two: Prince Reggie jerks his body up as he holds his left hand in pain as a bee flies away.

Prince Reggie: OW!

Panel three: Prince Reggie, while kissing a swollen red finger rolls his eyes to see the peasant family snickering at him.


Panel four: Prince Reggie glares over at the family of peasants and points at them. The father and mother are timid while the two children snarl at Prince Reggie.

Prince Reggie: People who can't afford the dirt beneath their feet shouldn't plant flowers in it!

Panel five: Reggie walks out of the rose garden, walking over several roses as the family of peasants run to tend to their rose garden. The two boys stick their tongues out and make faces at Prince Reggie behind his back. In the road, Prince Archie is riding an old mare as he does not see Reggie. Prince Archie has a map out as he is reading it.

Reggie: This is such a stupid quest...!

Page seven.

Panel one: Prince Reggie is sneaking behind a tree to eavesdrop on Prince Archie as Archie talks aloud. Archie is seemingly proud of his idea as he sits straight up on his old mare.

Prince Reggie: So better to let the stupid person lead the way.

Panel two: We see over Prince Archie's shoulder as he is looking at a map. On the right color is a drawing of a rainbow rose and a land that has a trail marked to the rose that leads through a picture of a troll and a giant.

Prince Archie: I know that if I can present the one of a kind Rainbow Rose to Princess Betty, I'll win this quest for sure.

Panel three: Prince Reggie is leaning against the tree scheming, clamping his hands over and over in anticipation, as Prince Archie wobbly rides off, nearly falling off as his saddle slips to the left of his horse.

Prince Archie: No matter the danger and enemies I must face, the rainbow rose will be presented to Princess Betty.

Prince: Archie, but first a new saddle buckle...!

Prince Reggie whispering: Yeah, you face the enemies and dangers, and I'LL be the one who gives the rainbow rose to the princess.

Panel four: Prince Reggie is looking over his head at the caption box.

Courtney caption:  Creep.

Panel five: Prince Reggie angrily responds to Courtney's caption.

Prince Reggie: Aw, just keep quiet and watch!

Panel six: Back to Courtney and Betty. Courtney is upset with what just happened as Betty shrugs her shoulders and tries to force a smile.

Courtney: Hey!

Betty: Heh. Characters take a life of their own sometimes...

Page eight:

Panel one: Archie is standing over a pile of green, barbarian dressed trolls. Archie brandishes his sword and strikes a pose. Archie's old mare has fallen asleep on its feet. In the background we can Reggie using his hand to wave off Prince Archie's accomplishment as if it was not impressive. In the background a hermit is hugging a knight wearing all white armor. A knight holding an apple is trying to hug another hermit, but the hermit pushes him away and looks away in disgust.

Caption: And so the quest for the rainbow rose began. First with the trouncing of the Troll Thieve Posse of Pembrooke Forest.

Panel two: Prince Archie is now in a land covered in snow as a medieval Leroy begins to pelt him with snowballs. Prince Archie is having a tough time as his clothes are not for winter and his old mare is shaking with its teeth chattering. Prince Reggie is in the background with several servants shoveling his path for himself and his horse. Reggie is wearing a fur coat and drinking hot cocoa as he rides along on his much better steed. In the background a knight, holding a now frozen apple in his hand, is staring at disbelief at a snow angel that looks like a devil as a hermit shakes a finger at the knight. The white knight's snow angel is extremely detailed as if by divine intervention.

Caption: And he soon found himself battling the elements.

Pow pow pow

Archie: OW! OW! That one had a rock in it--! Ow!

Leroy: Haw Ha! It can't be as hard as your head, Sir Freckles-A-Lot.

Panel three: Prince Archie is next to Veronica dressed as a sorceress. Veronica is wearing a costume that resembles an eagle. She is holding a scepter with a red jewel at the tip. Archie has hearts over his eyes as he looks at Veronica. Reggie is coming out of his hiding place in the scrubs as he plans on intervening. Along a path, the White Knight continues along a path as the knight holding the apple stops and has small hearts over his head as he looks at Veronica.

Caption: And when he was lost for the sixth day straight, he sought the advice of Veronica the Sorceress who—

Sorceress Veronica: Prince Archiekins, why not just forget your quest for that dumb blond princess and make magic with me?

Prince Archie: You've put me under your love spell!

Caption: Hmmph!

Panel four: Veronica is changed from a lovely sorceress to an ugly witch. She is wearing the typical black dress and bent black hat. Veronica now has a long, crooked nose, warts on her face, her eyebrows are now bushy, and she has a few long hairs on her chin now. Archie jumps back in fright. Reggie stops in mid step with his eyes wide in shock. Veronica's scepter is now an overused broom. The knight holding the apple faints as two hermits in the bush shake their heads in disappointment in regards to his actions.

Caption: Did I say sorceress? I meant to say she was a witch. The ugliest witch ever! A bad disposition with a worse personality!!

POOF

Archie: Yikes! Make that a curse!

Panel five: Veronica the witch is hitting Prince Archie with her broom as he runs away in fright. Reggie is cradling himself in the fetal position as he's deeply disturbed in seeing someone so beautiful suddenly turn so ugly. The white knight has returned carrying a grail as he steps around the other knight. The hermits rejoice seeing the white knight.

Veronica The Witch: Get out of my forest before I turn you into a frog, you toad!

WHACK WHACK WHACK

Prince Archie: Ouch! The only bad way to get swept off your feet by a girl!

Page nine

Panel one: A battered Archie, with several straws in his hair, is crawling along a rose orchard as he weakly tries to pull himself along the path. Around him are several bushes with red and pink roses.

Caption: After being brushed off by the witch, Prince Archie had finally found the enchanted rose orchard...


Prince Archie: Now I know how dust bunnies feel...!

Panel two: Archie raises his head up. It looks as if a rainbow is shining down upon his face.

Archie: Now to just find—

Panel three: Archie, now on his knees, is reaching out to a rose bush as the Rainbow Rose is just in front of him.

Archie: The Rainbow Rose!

Panel three: A close-up on Archie's hand as he is just within inches from grabbing the rose.

Caption: And just when victory was within his grasp--

Panel four: Reggie suddenly rides on his horse and snatches the rainbow rose, denying Archie at the last second. Reggie is still in very good condition, showing that he never did any sort of work.

Reggie: Roses that are red, yellow, green, purple, and blue—

Panel five: Reggie is riding off in the distance as Archie is up to his feet and shakes a fist in his direction.

Reggie: --Are meant only for those with high class, not peons like you!

Archie: You no good Tyrant of Thieves! You're a knave who steals the sweetest of tarts!

Page 10

Panel one: Archie is turning to look at his old mare. He has a fire in his eyes as he is filled with rage and determination. His rage makes him forget his fatigue and wounds.

Archie: Spotty! We're going to run that rogue down, and take back the Rainbow Rose.

Panel two: Archie turns around to see Spotty has fallen asleep on his feet, with a small bubble coming from its nostril. Archie slumps over in defeat and disappointment.

Archie: ...And then pigs will fly while purple raccoons direct air traffic.

Panel three: Archie sadly picks a plain pink rose from one of the bushes.

Caption: And so, Prince Archie searched the rose orchard for the best rose he could find...

Panel four: Back to the throne room as it has now been decorated. Several yellow and blue banners align the wall and the throne room is mainly in white. All the knights are wearing special colorful armor. The royal family is dressed up in their finest clothing. King, Queen, and Princess Cooper are standing before Archie and Reggie. Reggie has a smile ear to ear as he is admiring the Rainbow Rose, arrogantly holding it in front of Archie. Archie has a tight grip on his rose, which now has become withered and tore. Archie is despondent as he believes he has lost Princess Betty forever.

King Cooper: And now that both Princes have finally returned, Princess Betty will now accept the rose and prince of her own personal choice.

Courtney caption: Say! This like that show!

Betty caption: Shh! I'm getting to the good part!


Page 11

Panel one: Reggie steps forward and proudly showcases the Rainbow Rose as Betty doesn't seem all that impressed.

Reggie: C'mon, why all the show and suspense. It's obvious who the winner—like always—is.

Panel two: Princess Betty sidesteps Reggie as Reggie rolls his eyes to follow her as he's taken by surprise.

Princess Betty: You're right, good sir.

Panel three: Princess Betty takes Archie's rose to his and Reggie's surprise. Reggie's jaw has dropped and he nearly falls over in shock.

Princess Betty: I choose the rose given to me by the person I truly love!

Panel four: Prince Reggie begins stomping on the Rainbow Rose as his face is bright red. Prince Archie and Princess Betty are hugging one another as small hearts float overhead. King Cooper is motioning with a finger to his throat for two knights to take Reggie out of the throne room. Two knights are walking over in response.

Reggie: "Truly love?" That's not fair! He could have given you a lump of mud, and I'd still lose! I demand a fencing contest, archery, or even swords at twenty stones! I want a do over! I'll sue!

Panel five: Prince Archie and Princess Betty are kissing and in the background we can see two knights carrying a still wild with rage Reggie out of the throne room.

Caption: And so, sealed with a kiss, the prince and princess became a steady couple and...

Page 12

Panel one: Betty has stopped telling the story as she looks over at Courtney who has fallen asleep.

Panel two: Betty smiles at her as Courtney looks adorable curled up in a ball with her Cosmo the Merry Martian doll clutched to her chest.

Panel three: Betty begins turning off the light and tucking Courtney in at the same time.

Panel four: Betty is leaving Courtney's room, entering the home's hall as she smiles to herself. Above her is a thought balloon of a grown up Betty and Archie getting married.

Betty: The real magic in a good fairy tale is making it into a work of nonfiction.

Betty: Sigh.
#55
Fan Fiction / Betty in Stamped
May 15, 2016, 07:37:58 PM
 Page 1

Panel one: Betty Cooper, wearing a blue jacket, pink shirt, and blue jeans, is at her local Angels Supermarket as she is at one of the counters in the middle of the aisles as she is giving change for an Angles employee to hand her several stamps in return. The Angles employee girl is wearing a red shirt with a giant blue A on it with a name tag reading Samantha. Close by one aisle has a person checking out various items and handing coupons and showing a binder filled with newspaper clips of lower prices as the line behind her is long. The guy directly behind her has just a two liter drink and is glaring at her like he could kill her for taking up so much time. In check-out yourself aisle a woman jumps back in shock as the computer reads: PAYMENT DUE: INFINITY AND BEYOND

Betty: Yes, I'd like ten stamps.

Samantha: Not a problem.

Panel two: Betty is talking with Samantha as Samantha begins to rip out several stamps. In front of them several small kids have gotten into the big ball bin and are bouncing on the balls as their parents chase after them.

Betty: So, has it been a busy afternoon?

Panel three: Betty puts the stamps in her jean pockets as she waves goodbye. Right beside Betty are two customers whose carts have collided and have spilled their meats, vegetables, and drinks. One customer is shaking his left fist while showing he signaled with his right hand as the other customer points at himself and straight ahead. Sitting down is a boy reading an Archie Double Digest amidst the chaos around him.

Samantha: Been pretty quiet, actually.

Betty: Well, I hope it stays that way.

Page 2

Panel one: Betty is entering her house through the kitchen and taking off her jacket as she reaches into her jean pockets. Mrs. Cooper is frying pork chops on the oven as she talks with her daughter. Mrs. Cooper is wearing an apron that reads: MOMS ARE THE BEST.

Mrs. Cooper: Betty, did you go over to Angles and get the stamps?

Betty: Right after school. I remembered, I remembered.

Panel two: Betty puts twelve stamps on the kitchen table and her jacket on one of the kitchen table chairs. One is four stamps on each side, two are two stamps on each side and the other is just four straight stamps. Betty is looking them over and realizes this as Mrs. Cooper is flipping the pork chops into the air like they were pancakes as a small stream of smoke follow the pork chops up and back down.

Betty: Huh. Twelve?

Betty: Mom, I think she gave me two extra stamps.

Panel three: Mrs. Cooper is walking over with the plate of pork chops, using oven mitts to carry the plate as she places it on the table.

Mrs. Cooper: So she did.

Betty: So what should we do?

Panel four: Mrs. Cooper is back at the oven as she has a pot boiling with water and is flipping potatoes in the air as she uses one hand to hold a knife and cut the skin of the potatoes and her free hand, reaching over her body to grab the potato skins before they hit the ground. The potatoes go into the water. Betty is holding the stamps in her hands.

Mrs. Cooper: We don't need any more groceries until next week. When we go back, I'll be sure to give the counter an extra ninety-two cents.

Betty: Yeah. Sure. That won't be a problem at all...

Page 3

Panel one: Betty is walking down a hall as she frowns and balls her fists as if she is having an inner conflict.

Betty: I can't believe it!

Betty: Someone else makes a mistake, gives me just two extra stamps , and now I feel like a common thief!

Panel two: Betty is walking down the hallway as we can see her father in the living room sitting on a sofa watching TV where it looks like someone is just counting someone's change on the street. Betty is taking deep breaths as she tries to calm down.

Betty: Take deep breaths, girl. It's just ninety-two cents. Nothing to get worked up about—

Mr. Cooper: Betty! Come watch this new reality tv show with me!

Panel three: Betty begins to tense and her left eyebrow begins to twinge as he father turns in his seat to her. The TV is now showing someone asking for someone on a busy street to give him chance in his open hand so he can count.

Mr. Cooper: It's called Every Cent Counts! It's where this guy Vince goes up to someone and asks them for the loose change in their pocket so he can count it and give it back to them!

Panel four: Betty loses it and begins screaming and stomping her feet as she holds out an open palm and points to it with her other hand. Mr. Cooper jumps back in shock at the sudden outburst.

Betty: I gave her the correct change! I counted it! I can multiple! It's forty-six cents times ten! Four dollars and sixty cents! Eighteen quarters and a dime is what I gave her!

Panel five: Betty is running up to stairs as Mr. Cooper just goes back to his TV program after shrugging his shoulders.

Mr. Cooper: She could have just said she's already seen it...

Page 4

Panel one: It is night time as Betty is wearing a long blue shirt and purple shorts and has left her hair down as she sits on her bed and contemplates the worse.

Betty: ...And what about Samantha? Those are federal stamps. What if the FBI arrests her? Tries her for treason!!

Panel two: Betty lies back in her bed and puts a pillow on her head as she screams and waves her fists about.

Betty: A penny for a thought—BUT UNDERPAYING NINETY-TWO CENTS IS DRIVING ME MAD!!!

Panel three: Betty sits up as she smiles and her eyes light up as she has an idea.

Betty: I know! I'll call Veronica! A good friend will share my burden with me!!

Panel four: Veronica is answering her cellphone as she is at her wardrobe dresser and looking into her mirror as she is combing her hair for the night as she is wearing purple silk pajamas. Along her wardrobe dresser are various make-up kits, skin cream, and a mirror.

Veronica: Bettykins!

Veronica: ...Calm down! I can't understand a word that you're saying!!

Panel five: Veronica has stopped combing her hair as her left lip tenses as she looks like she is just about to laugh.

Veronica: Did you just ask me what I would do if I just owed someone ninety cents...?

Panel six: Betty is rolling her eyes as she looks at the reader and points her free hand at her cell phone in a "can you believe she's my best friend." type manner.

Cellphone: HA HA HA!

Cellphone: ME, VERONICA LODGE...OWN OR OWE JUST NINETY-TWO CENTS?! AAAAHHHHAAAAA!!!

Page 5.

Panel one: Betty is lying down on her bed sheets as she seems to be calm and relaxed as she reaches over to turn her lamp off.

Betty: Veronica's right. It is a silly thing to worry about.

Betty: Tomorrow is Saturday! I can just walk back over and give the change sometime in the morning

CLICK

Panel two: A shot of Betty as is in her bed covered up nice and snug as she looks like she is beginning to go to sleep with no more worries plaguing her.

Betty: Just eleven hours and it'll all be over.

Panel three: Betty looks like she is asleep.

Panel four: Betty's eyes pop open.

Panel five: Betty sits up in bed and begins to shake her head as she pulls at her hair as she goes back to fretting.

Betty: I cannot wait that long!!

Betty: But what else can I do...?  Think, Cooper, Think!

Page 6

Panel one: The store manager for Angles is walking in the parking lot and reaching into his pockets for his keys as it is morning and the sun is just coming up. It is a cold day as he takes out a breath and can see it in the air.

Store Manager: Now where are those keys...?

Panel two: The Store Manager looks up as he is startled by a voice

Off-panel voice: Yes! Yes! You're finally, finally here!

Panel three: Betty Cooper, wearing her blue t-shirt and now wearing pink sweat pants and fluffy bunny slippers is opening up her sleeping bag on the bench next to the doors, where she obviously slept the night, as she holds out three quarters, a nickel, two pennies and a dime as she begins to approach the store manager. The Store Manager scratches his head and has no idea what to make of what is going on.

Betty: I'm really, sorry, but one of your employees accidentally gave me two extra stamps, and I didn't want her to get in trouble!

Betty: The George Triplets and their best friends Franklin and Thomas along with the Lincoln Twins.

Store Manager: !!!

Panel four: The Angles Manager begins to shed a tear as he holds the money in his hand and is sincerely touched by Betty's honesty and determination. Betty gathers up her sleeping bag and walks past two startled older women. Betty is skipping along like everything is normal.

Angles Manager: Sniff. Its acts like this that make running a wholesome grocery store worth every cent!

THE END.
#56
Fan Fiction / Betty in the Narcassist
May 15, 2016, 07:30:30 PM
 Page 1

Panel one: Archie and Betty are sitting a table away from Reggie who is talking to an uninterested girl who seems to be tired of hearing from Reggie. Reggie is smiling and pointing both thumbs at himself as he is obviously just bringing up how great he is. Behind him at the counter is Midge sitting alone as she is drinking a soda with a straw as she checks her watch as she seems to be waiting for someone.

Archie: Sheesh. Would you look at that?

Betty: Yeah. For the last ten minutes, all he's done is talk about himself and not about Cindy one bit!

Reggie: So anyway, when the rest of the football team had given up, I grabbed them by the helmet straps and I pulled them to victory!

Panel two: Cindy is walking away as Reggie waves her off as he turns his head and sees Midge alone. Cindy is giving him the hand as she is leaving and passing by Archie and Betty.

Archie: Face it, Betty. All Reggie ever thinks about is himself.

Betty: I wouldn't go that far...

Panel three: Reggie has a thought balloon of a picture of himself as he happily looks up at the thought balloon and nods in approval.

Betty: Well, at least not all the time.

Page 2

Panel one: Archie looks outside the Chocklit Shoppe window to see Veronica outside winking and waving her three fingers at him. Archie looks on with heart for eyes as Betty is still looking towards Reggie and not noticing what is happening behind her back.

Betty: I just can't believe that anyone can be so vain and thoughtless of others all the time.

Archie: Righhht...

Panel two: Betty is leaving the table and walking towards Reggie as Archie is dashing outside of the Chocklit Shoppe to go to Veronica who motions for him like she would her dog. Coming down the street just in view from the window is Moose walking towards the Chocklit Shoppe as he flicks at his watch as it is either broken or not working.

Betty: In fact, I'm going to prove it!

Betty: I'll be right back, Archie!

Panel three: Betty is standing beside Reggie as Reggie is rubbing his chin and smiling as he is looking at Midge who is swirling her straw around in her glass. Pop Tate is giving a double double stack burger to a surprised petite eight year old girl. Behind Betty and Reggie, Moose is walking in their direction.

Betty: Say, Reggie, what are you thinking right now?

Panel four: Reggie is replying as he smoothes back his hair as Moose is right behind him. Betty turns her head and has a troubled look as she knows what will happen.

Reggie: I was thinking what a prime opportunity to ask out Midge without that big oaf around.

Panel five: Reggie has a apprehensive look as he pitifully turns his head and shudders as Moose is cracking his knuckles from behind right at Reggie's left ear. Betty is rolling her eyes to her left as she takes a side step away from Reggie as she tries to sidestep the danger zone.

Moose: Duh, I'm not around. I'm just behind ya, Reg—

Panel six: Reggie is flying out of the Chocklit Shoppe door with various multi-color pain stars trailing right behind him as two teens duck to avoid Reggie. On the sidewalk, the small girl from before is sitting down and sharing her burger with three of her friends as they've cut the burger down to more manageable for each small kid.

Moose inside the Chocklit Shoppe:  --AND YOU CAN JUST STAY AWAY FROM MY MIDGIE!!

POW!!!

Page 3

Panel one: Betty is dashing out to follow after Reggie as Moose takes his seat next to Midge as she greets him. 

Betty: Okay, that wasn't what I was looking for, but I know Reggie has to have one kind thought in him!

Panel two: Betty is coming out as we see Reggie has several small planets over his dazed eyes as he begins to walk bow legged as the kids from earlier look on after finishing their burger portion and seemed entertained by Reggie disoriented state.

Betty: If he doesn't have a concussion that is...

Panel three: It is later as Reggie is looking at a blind, homeless man standing by a building holding up a cup as several passerbys drop in change for him. The man is holding a cane with his other hand. Betty is walking towards Reggie as she tries to act casual.

Betty: Gee, Reggie. I bet you're thinking about giving that poor, blind man change to help him out.

Panel four: Reggie turns to talk with Betty as he is jabbing two fingers towards her as she tilts her head back as Reggie's fingers are dangerously close to poking her eyes. The blind man is tilting his head as he hears what Reggie is saying.

Reggie: Actually, I was wondering would it hurt a blind person if you poked them in the eyes!

Panel five: Betty face palms as the blind man is chasing Reggie with his cane, trying to smack him across the head as they run in circles on the road. Reggie is trying to weasel out of it but the blind man is not having it.

Reggie: Hey! I wasn't going to do it!!

Reggie: I would never touch anyone as filthy as you, I swear!!

Blind man: Just keep yer yappin' so I can find ya!!

Page 4

Panel one: Reggie and Betty are walking away as a police officer is holding back the homeless man. People who were watching look at Reggie disdainfully with one woman doing the "shame shame" with her two fingers at Reggie.  Reggie is leaving in a huff as Betty is looking around to see something that Reggie might like more than himself.

Reggie: Can you believe that!? They should lock up all vagrants!!

Panel two: Betty is extending her arms out as she soaks in the sunshine. Reggie turns to her as he raises an eyebrow as he listens to her as he at least seems interested.

Betty: Let's forget that...forever and ever...

Betty: And focus on what a lovely, sunny day it is!

Panel three: Reggie puts a hand on his chin as he rolls his eyes as he begins to think. Behind him a man and another man are walking behind Reggie, one to his left and one to his right. Betty is ecstatic as she has he fists clenched and seems to be rooting Reggie on to think about something other than himself.

Reggie: Well, I do love sunny days like this for one important reason--

Betty: Yes! Yes! Go on!

Panel four: Reggie extends his arms and tilts his head back as he smiles as his teeth glisten. His arms each hit one of the two men respectively and knock them to the ground. Betty's jaw drops from disappointment.

Reggie: It makes it easier for everyone to see me and how great I am!!

POW

WHACK WHAP

Panel five: Betty is helping the dazed man up as Reggie struts ahead, not giving them a single thought or care. One of the men is shaking a fist at Reggie while the other one's eyes a glazed over.  Betty is exhaling as her quest for Reggie to think of something or someone other than himself is not going well.

Betty: Sigh. I wish it was raining so no one could see me cry...!

Page 5

Panel one: Betty is walking across the street as the street light signals it is okay to cross as Reggie is already on the other side waiting for as he motions for the lost in thought Betty to hurry up.

Reggie: Hurry it up, Betts! I like it when people want to hear what I think about me being so great!

Betty: sigh.

Betty: Maybe Archie was right about Reggie—

Panel two: Betty turns as a car is heading directly for her and can't stop as the driver has his head sticking out the car window and waving for her to move.

BEEP BEEP

Betty: ?!!

Driver: Move! My brakes went out!!

Pane three: Reggie lunges at Betty and gets her out of the way as the car drives past her. Across the street is a man wearing a suit and holding a note pad and pencil as he looks on in amazement.

VRROOOOOMMM

Panel four: Reggie and Betty are lying with their backs on the street as the both are wide eyed and have alarmed expression. Across the road the car turns to a stop with several tread marks across the road. The driver is half out the window as he has passed out. A crowd is gathering at the event.  The man from across the street is looking on as he looks at a street sign and takes notes.

Reggie: Gee, Betts! What were you thinking?

Betty: It's a good thing you were thinking...

Panel five: Betty sits up straight with a giant smile on her face as Reggie looks towards her in disbelief.

Reggie: What are you so happy about...? You could have gotten killed!

Page 6

Panel one: Betty is standing up and jumping up and down as she pumps a fist in the air in victory as the man across the street is walking towards them. The crowd behind Betty and Reggie look at Betty in a unified expression of confusion.  Reggie is sitting up as he is wide-eyed as he is putting some deep thought in his actions.

Betty: So could you!!

Betty: You risked your own life to save me! You thought about someone else more than yourself for just a few seconds!   

Panel two: Betty is skipping away as Reggie looks like he's gone in shock—with his arms and legs pulled to his chest in a standing fetal position-- at the revelation Betty explained as the man from across the street stands over him. The crowd makes way for Betty as she goes about her way cheerfully.

Betty: I gotta go tell everyone! They won't believe me—but it did happen!!

Panel three: The man is standing over Reggie as Reggie is slowly beginning to stand up; his eyes are still wide and he has a frozen expression of fear on his face.

Reporter: Son, I'm a freelance reporter, and I would like a statement on your heroics.

Reporter: First question: What were you thinking as impending doom was coming towards your friend?

Panel four: Reggie bursts up and grabs the man by his collar and begins to shake him frantically as Reggie is in a panic that he could have been killed. Several people on the street and sidewalk look on in confusion.

Reggie: I WASN'T THINKING OF MY OWN WELL BEING, THAT'S FOR SURE!!


The end.
#57
 Somebody doesn't like Archie.

Page one

Panel one: The students of Riverdale are exiting Miss Grundy's classroom . Up front we can see Chuck and Frankie talking with Archie as they pack their books up in their backpacks. Frankie is looking back at a teenage boy (Mark) wearing a plain red shirt and blue jeans as he is preparing to leave. Mark has brown hair, brown eyes and seems to be the same height as Archie only built a bit thicker. 

Archie: Hey, guys, you have any plans for today? I was thinking we could hang out at The Chocklit Shoppe.

Chuck: Sure. You mind if we invite Mark?

Panel two: Archie is confused as Frankie points at Mark who is noticing them looking in his direction.

Archie: Who?

Frankie: Mark. He moved to Riverdale three weeks back and lives a few houses down my street.

Archie: Oh. He must be pretty shy because he's never said a word to me. I didn't even know he was in this class.

Panel three: Frankie, Chuck, and Archie are approaching Mark. Frankie is leading the way while Chuck is talking with Archie who seems slightly perplexed.

Chuck: Shy? I wouldn't think of someone who sang two hours of Karaoke songs to a packed room as shy.

Frankie: Hey, Mark.

Page two:

Panel one: Frankie and Chuck are ahead as Archie is in the back. They are standing in front of Mark who greets Frankie and Chuck casually enough.

Mark: Frankie, Chuck.

Chuck: We thinking about going to Pop's for a bite to eat. Just me, Frankie, and...


Panel two: Archie steps up as Mark's face turns more stern, but not unfriendly. Archie is trying his best to give off a good first impression (well at least in his point of view)

Archie: And me! I'm Archie. Nice to meet you.

Panel three: Mark holds a hand up as he leaves the classroom after turning down the invitation. The Frankie and Chuck look at each, not understanding Mark's reaction. Archie is deflated by the quick rejection.

Mark: No thanks.

Panel four: Archie is confused as he talks with Frankie. Chuck runs ahead to catch up to Mark and see what's wrong.

Archie: That was pretty rude.

Chuck: That isn't like him. He's usually outgoing.  I'll go see what's wrong.

Panel five: Archie and Franie are talking. Up ahead we can see Chuck and Mark talking. Chuck is scratching his head as Mark explains to him.

Archie: Maybe he's Type A. He sure seems like the quiet type to me.

Frankie: Mark? He'll talk for hours! You'd be amazed at how knowledgeable he is. He had me captivated when he was just talking about spinach!

Page 3:

Panel one: Chuck is awkwardly walking back to Frankie and Archie.

Archie: Great! I like people like that! I can't wait to get to know him.

Chuck: Um, Archie, that might be a problem....

Panel two: Chuck explains the situation to Archie who goes wide eyed humorously.

Chuck: Mark doesn't like you.

Panel three: Archie looks like he's about to faint as Frankie and Chuck talk.

Frankie: Mark said that?

Chuck: Yeah. I'm surprised too. He's such a people's person.

Panel four: Chuck and Frankie turn to Archie who sticks his palms out and shakes his head.

Chuck: Arch, you insult him or something?

Archie: No way! I didn't even know he existed before today!

Frankie: That's pretty insulting. He is in all of your classes.

Panel five: Archie is depressed as he leans against a locker. Frankie and Chuck walk ahead.

Archie: ...Really?

Chuck: Look, Archie, I'm sure this will work itself out.

Frankie: We'll catch you later.

Archie: Sigh. Sure...

Page four

Panel one: Archie is depressed with his arms folded over his chest and looking down as Reggie is walking down the hall towards him. Reggie is his usual arrogant self as he struts down the hall.

Reggie: What's the matter, Red? Misplace a freckle or two?

Archie: Sigh

Panel two: Archie pulls himself off the locker as he talks with Reggie with a hint of desperateness in his eyes. Reggie raises an eyebrow and squints as he didn't expect Archie to ask that type of a question and thinks it over.

Archie: Reggie, I know you and me argue and pull pranks on each other—but you like me, right?

Panel three: Reggie is waking with Archie as he places his hand behind Archie's back as Archie begins to cheer up.

Reggie: Well, you're dumb, you're clumsy, you hang out with needlenose more than any person should want, and you keep talking to all of my girls...

SLAP

Reggie: ...But you're an A-Okay guy in my book, Arch.

Panel four: A snickering Reggie is walking ahead as Archie waves goodbye at him. From behind Archie's back we can see Reggie has stuck a note to Archie that says: KICK ME.

Archie: What a swell guy.

Archie: Gee, I bet if Mark could hear how everybody else feels about me then—

Panel five: Archie has his head tilted to his left with his right eye squinted and his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as a small idea lightbulb is over his head.

Archie: Say now...

Page 5

Page one: It is the next day as Archie is the cafeteria carrying his lunch tray of Miss Beazley's mashed broccoli salad (in the green gunk we can see a broccoli top), fish stick jelly sandwich, and a small slice of apple covered in purple jell-o. Archie is walking through the aisles as he sees Mark sitting with Raj, Kevin Keller, and Tono Diaz, who are laughing at a joke Mark had just finished. Mark has a slight smile on his face, just enough to show he's enjoying himself, but not overly happy like his friends. Mark is sitting next to Raj while Kevin Keller and Tono are sitting in front of them on the other side of the table.

Archie: There he is. My newest best friend.

Panel two: Kevin, Raj, and Tono are still laughing their heads off as Raj uses Mark's shoulder to keep himself from falling out of his seat as Mark doesn't seem to react one way or the other. Archie is approaching them carrying his tray out in front. He's not paying attention as he is about to walk over a backpack that is sitting out from behind a teen's seat.

Tono: Amigo, that was muy bueno!!!

Kevin: Ow! I'm not supposed to laugh on a full stomach!! HAAA!!

Archie thinking: Okay, the first impression I gave was like socks for Christmas, but my second impression will be a--

Panel three: A shot of Archie stumbling over the back pack as Raj is talking to Mark, who has a deadpan expression compared to everyone else at the table. Archie's food is naturally headed towards Mark.

Raj: Say, Mark, I always wanted to make a comedy—I think I can do the upbeat tempo, but I'm not good with jokes. So how about helping me write a script?

Mark: Sure.

Raj: Great, with your sense of comedy, I'm sure it'll be a--

Panel four: All of Archie's disgusting food lands on Mark with a flop. The broccoli mash ends up on the top of his head, and everything else is on his shirt. Archie is smiling as inoffensively as he can from ear to ear. Mark is looking over at Archie with mild irritation, but nothing showing pure contempt or anger. Kevin Keller is leaning over with one of his own fishsticks to dip in Mark's broccoli goo covered hair as Tono and Raj look on with their faces turning green out of disgust.

FLOP


Archie: Um...hi, Mark. Remember me from yesterday...? I remember you--before the food pyramid fell on you. Heh.

Mark: I remember.

Page six:

Panel one: Archie is standing beside Mark as Mark listens patiently with a blank expression. Raj is holding out a napkin for Mark to use to clean himself off as he has his body turned to avoid looking at Kevin. Kevin is eating the green goo covered jelly fishstick as Tono's covers his mouth with both hands as his face cheeks balloon up.

Mark: Anything else?

Archie: Mark, Chuck told me yesterday that you didn't like me...

Panel two: Mark is wiping off his face as he begins to talk with Archie. Kevin Keller is licking his lips as he liked the taste of his dipped fishstick as Raj and Tono stare at him with a mix of amazement and horror. Archie is proud of himself as he sticks out his check and smiles.

Mark: Sorry about that.

Archie: Hey, it's okay, you just haven't been around me to know that I'm a pretty swell guy! So we'll that do at the end of school!

Panel three: A giddy Archie is walking away. leaving his tray for Mark to have as a replacement. Tono and Raj look on. Kevin is licking his fingers.

Mark: I can't. I--

Archie: Great! And lunch was on you, now it's on me. See you at the end of the day.

Panel four: Mark is looking at his ruined shirt as Raj and Tono look on with sympathy for Mark. Kevin is staring at Mark's hair like he would cakes in front of a bakery.

Tono: Wow. Having to wear Miss Beazley's food and having to eat it. That's rough.

Panel five: Kevin is talking as it alarms both Tono and Raj, but Mark keeps a poker face about it as he is cleaning his shirt with a napkin.

Kevin: Mark, can you tell me what brand of conditioner you use?

Kevin: BURRRP.

Page seven

Panel one: It is the end of the day as several students are at their lockers, packing up or out for the day. Mark, now wearing a new Riverdale shirt after his other one was ruined, is just finishing putting his books up as Archie comes running at him, not knowing that the backpack he has over his shoulder is swinging wildly about. Several students are moving out of the way to make way for Archie as he runs past them, but a good number end up getting bonked by his backpack over his shoulder as it swings wildly. Mark has a blank facial expression while Archie is full of cheer.

Archie: Hey, Mark! Wait up and let's walk and talk.

Mark:  Sigh. If we make it quick.

Panel two: Mark is turning as does Archie. Behind Archie are several students who are holding their heads after getting clobbered by Archie's back pack. Archie has his arms extended as if everything is perfect.

Archie: No problem. I just want you to talk with some people and—

Panel three: Archie has stopped talking to Mark as he is looking to his left at a pretty blonde teenage student who is walking past him. Mark seems a bit annoyed, but nothing to extreme as he should be.

Archie: ...

Panel four: Archie has turned his body and dropped his arms to his side to follow the blonde girl as she begins to turn a corner. Mark is staring at Archie and waiting patiently.

Panel five: Archie leads Mark by the arm as the walk away from Mark's locker.

Archie: --You'll see just how great a guy I am.

Page eight:

Panel one: Archie is walking ahead of Mark as Mark follows willingly enough.

Archie: Say, did you know that I'm the lead singer in my music band "The Archies?"

Mark: A family band?

Panel two: Archie turns to explain to Mark as Mark seems to not really understand the name of the group.

Archie: Nope. It's me, Jughead, Betty, Reggie, and...

Panel three: Archie points ahead at Veronica who is walking down the hall as some teenage boy is carrying a stack of her text books and magazines as she winks back at him. The teenage boy has hearts over his head. The stack of books go over his head by several inches as he struggles with them.

Archie: ...And the love of my life!

Panel four: Archie runs up to Veronica like a lovesick puppy, forgetting about Mark, as Veronica greets him. The teenage boy in the back is beginning to struggle with the weight of the books. Mark stays back as he watches everything unfold with a blank expression.

Archie: Veronica!

Veronica: Archiekins!

Page 9

Panel one: Archie and Veronica are talking. In the background we can see Betty walking with Adam as they are talking. Behind Veronica the teenager carrying her books is growing weaker and weaker.

Archie: Good afternoon, Beautiful. I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to go to the movies with me tonight?

Panel two: Veronica is pushing back her hair as she is talking. In the background Adam and Betty have stopped as they are now having a pleasant talk.

Veronica: I suppose. But it will have to be later than usual since this is so sudden and I'll need to call my hair stylist, buy a new wardrobe, and decide which one of Daddykins cars correlate to my new diamond ear rings...


Panel three: Archie is ecstatic as Veronica smiles. The teen carrying the books is shaking his head in disappointment.

Archie: YES!

Panel four: Archie is looking past Veronica as Veronica looks confused. Archie has now noticed Adam talking with Betty in the background.

Pane five: Archie runs past Veronica and spins the teenager carrying the books around like a top as all the books somehow stay together.

Archie: YIKES!

Panel six: Veronica has fire in her eyes as she clenches her teeth and fists in rage. Behind her, the teenager with the books has fallen over with the books landing on his chest still miraculously in one stack. We can see Archie frantically running towards Adam and Betty.


Veronica: GRRRR!!


Page 10

Panel one: Adam is talking with Betty as Betty is trying to hide her face as she is blushing.

Adam: ...So I was just wondering if I could walk you home.

Betty: Gee, Adam I think that—

Panel two: Archie suddenly zooms in between Adam as he talks with Betty.

Adam: !!!

Archie: Betty, you need someone to walk you home? Then allow me. I mean, we are neighbors, so I'm not going out of my way and I know the way home like each freckle on my face!

Panel three: Betty is walking away with Archie as Adam sadly walks away, rejected and hurt.

Betty: Sure, I mean it does make sense.

Archie: Yep. And how about after you get home and changed, we go see a movie? Maybe an early showing?

Panel four: Archie and Betty's eyes light up as they hear Veronica yell.

WELL!!

Archie: Oops

Betty: Huh?

Page 11

Panel one: Archie and Betty look ahead as Veronica stomps towards them with her face cheeks beginning to turn red. Behind her the teenager with the books has fallen on his back with the books on his stomach as his face is turning blue as the books are crushing his chest.

Veronica: I see how you are, Archie Andrews! You just ask me out and then you don't even make the effort to go behind me back to ask Betty out to the movies on the same night!

Panel two: An angry Betty turns to Archie who is fumbling as he nervously tries to defend himself.

Betty: What? How could you, Archie?

Archie: Betty, Ronnie...it's like this...I have this short term memory—

Panel three: Veronica and Betty begin to walk off as Archie has his shoulders slumped and his arms dangling. The teenager carrying the books has his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he looks like he's about to pass out.

Betty: So do we. Because I can't think of who was going to accompany us, Ronnie.

Veronica: Don't fret, Betty. I already thought of someone.

Panel four: Veronica and Betty to continue to walk away as Veronica talks. What Veronica says gives the teenager carrying the books extra vigor as he raises his head up with his eyes as round as saucers.

Veronica: You. You're coming with us to the movies. Pick us both up at my house around eight. I'll notify the gate to watch out for you...um, person.

Teenager with books: !!!

Panel five: A perplexed and embarrassed Archie is walking back to Mark as Mark finally shows a great deal of frustration with Archie as he glares at Archie. Behind Mark, in the background, the teenager with the books throws the stack in the air in joy at getting to date Veronica and Betty at the same time.

Archie: So, um, what do you think of me now?

Mark: The same as before:



Page 12:

Panel one: Mark is talking with Archie who has dropped his confident pose to one of confusion.

Mark: I don't like you because I think you're really arrogant and selfish.

Mark: I mean, "The Archies"? You named your band, that includes your closest friends, after yourself? What kind of a person does that? 

Archie: Um, wait, you see, we all agreed that...

Panel two: Mark is still talking as Archie is beginning to look like he's going to pout.

Mark: And I honestly don't like how you treat Betty and Veronica, other girls or your friends when girls are involved. I know we're teenagers and this is high school, but you are horrible.

Mark: You asked Veronica out, but when you saw Adam talking with Betty, you butt in and kept Betty away from Adam—who is a good guy—and that led to you hurting both Veronica and Betty's feelings. That's not right at all.

Panel three: Mark is still talking and Archie is getting angry now.

Mark: And you just now wanted to walk me around so I could see how popular you are. So I don't like you. You're still the most popular person in the school, maybe the entire town. Isn't that enough?

Mark: I earnestly acknowledge you have a great deal of friends, some of whom are my friends, too.

Panel four: Archie is boiling over with rage as Mark continues to talk.

Mark: I just didn't want to hang out with you. It's not like I hate you. If I see you, I'll acknowledge you. If we're put on a school project together, I'll work with you. We can still be cordial with one another.

Mark: We're just never going to go to Pop Tate's and hang out. 

Panel five: Mark is walking away, waving a hand for goodbye. He doesn't see, behind his back, that Archie is red faced and boiling over with anger as he gnashes his teeth.

Mark: Now, I have to hustle. I was supposed to pick up my little brother from Elementary right after school was out. Hopefully, I won't have to keep him waiting too long.



Page 13:

Panel one: A visually upset Archie is glaring at Mark as he walks away casually. Archie is boiling over with what Mark had to say to him. In the background we can see Chuck and Frankie talking to one another as they walk towards Archie.

Chuck: So, Archie, how did it go with Mark?

Archie: FINE.

Panel two: A still angry Archie is walking between Frankie and Chuck as they both are happily talking with one another.

Chuck: Y'know, I really appreciate when he told me I concentrate on my art too much and should focus on Nancy more.

Chuck:  I mean, I knew I wasn't spending enough time with her, but when he told me so--

Frankie: Yep. It's nice to have a straight shooter around to tell us what's what.

Panel three: Archie has his hands up as he walks ahead of them. Both Chuck and Frankie are surprised by Archie's reaction.

Archie: Yeah, he may be a straight shooter all right--

Panel four: Archie is stomping off ahead of Chuck and Frankie, leaving them to shrug their shoulders and trade confused facial expressions.

Archie: --But I'm one fella who doesn't like to have his back against the firing wall!!

THE END

#58
Fan Fiction / Jughead in Sibling bond.
May 08, 2016, 10:19:42 PM
 Huh. I didn't even remember this one until I found it on an old flash drive. I guess I wanted to do a Jellybean story? Still enjoy. :)







(Jughead is entering Pop Tate's carrying Jelly Bean as the usual gang greats him.)

Reggie: Look, a nit wit carrying a  half pint.

(Jughead is passing Reggie after making a comment that angers Reggie.)

Jughead: Look, Jellybean, a doofus. Not the shade of hue on the face and the blank eyes.

(Jughead is carrying Jellybean past the gang as he heads to his seat. Reggie is still fuming as the others walk with Jughead.)

Betty: What are you doing with Jellybean, Jug?

Jughead: My mom and dad are cleaning up the house and told me to watch Jellybean.

(Jughead is talking as he puts his head next to Jellybean as Jellybean continues to smile.)

Jughead: So I decided it was time to show Jellybean my working place.

Veronica: Dolt, eating and sleeping somewhere other than at home doesn't make it your place of business.

(Jughead is walking towards the stool as he replies to Veronica.)

Jughead: Those who live in skyscrapers of steel and glass shouldn't cast stones on the less fortunate.

Veronica: Fine. I'll throw a gold bar at you.

(Jughead stops at the stools as Jellybean looks at them intently. Archie takes a step closer.)

Archie: Jughead, is there something wrong?

Jughead: Shh!

(Jughead is taking with Jellybean as Jellybean has a finger in her mouth as she checks over all the stools.)

Jughead: Jellybean, which one of those is your big brother's?

(Jellybean points to the one in the middle as Jughead look on pleased as the gang seems taken back.)

Jughead: That's right!

(Jughead sits down as he puts Jellybean on the counter.)

Jughead: And when you get older, this will be the Jones' seat.

Betty: Aw, that's so cute. You and Jellybean really are in tune.

(Betty is talking as she pinches Jellybean's cheeks as Jellybean giggles. Jughead is taking a soda from Pop Tate.)

Betty: My older siblings said I was the same. We liked the same things right off the bat.

Jughead: Yeah. Jellybean likes what I like from meals to people.

(Reggie leans in closer to Jellybean as Jellybean seems to become aggravated.)

Reggie: This I've gotta see.

(Jellybean punches Reggie on his left eye as Reggie is in pain.)

POW

Reggie: OW!

(Reggie has a left hand over his eye as Betty and Veronica check him over. Reggie points a finger at Jellybean who has her arms folded and turns her head away in disgust. Jughead pays little attention as he drinks his soda.)

Archie: You couldn't help but see that, Reg!

Reggie: Hey! Megastomach trained his little sister to attack me! I'll sue!

(Jughead is sipping his soda as Veronica reaches down to pick up Jellybean as Archie is right behind her.)

Jughead: Let's settle out of court. You can have her dirty diapers. They'd go perfectly with a wet blanket like you.

Veronica: Now let's see...

(Jellybean looks over at Archie and smiles.)

Veronica: Archiekins, she likes you.

Archie: Hey, me and Jughead are best friends, so that makes sense.

(Jellybean turns to Veronica.)

Veronica: ...

(Jellybean stick she nose straight up in the air in he way of acting snobbish Veronica doesn't seem to notice and smiles happily. Archie smiles unenthusiastically at Veronica's comment. Betty rolls her eyes.)

Veronica: Oh, look, she's acting like me when I was just a little princess.

(Jellybean points at Archie.)

Veronica: Huh?

(Jellybean then points at Betty. Both Betty and Archie blush.)

(Jellybean begins to hug herself to show that Archie and Betty belong together, much to Veronica's displeasure.)

Veronica: !!!

(Betty is leaning her head on a bashful Archie's shoulder as a fuming Veronica places Jughead back down as Jughead pats her on her head.)

Veronica: Hmph! Denim or DNA, you both have the same bad genes.

(Ethel is walking over to Jughead as Jughead is startled Jellybean begins to shake in fear.)

Ethel: Hi, Juggie!

Jughead: AH!

(Jellybean has a hand over each of her eyes as she continues to shake.)

Ethel: Jellybean! You little cutie-wutie! You want to play Where's Baby with Auntie Ethel?

(Ethel puts her hands over her eyes as Jellybean still has her eyes covered and shakes more and more.)

Ethel: Where's Ethel? Where's Ethel?

(Jellybean parts her fingers slightly to see.)

(Through Jellybean's point of view we see a close up on Ethel's face.)

Ethel: HERE I AM!!

(Ethel is waking away, waving goodbye at the gang. Jellybean is terrified and has herself wrapped around Jughead. Everyone in the gang looks on shocked save for Reggie who finds it funny)

Ethel: See you later, Sweetie. Oh, and tell your mom I'm free to babysit anytime.

(Reggie is waving Ethel to come back as Veronica and Betty look back towards him.)

Reggie: Wait. Why don't you stay and keep the these two babies—

(Both Veronica and Betty elbow Reggie.)

POW

Reggie: ACCCK

(Reggie is holding his stomach as the girls turn away from him. Trula Twyst is entering Pop Tate's as Archie points this out to Jughead who is trying to calm Jellybean down.)

Reggie: So you're the ones teaching that kid violence.

Archie: Um, Jughead, you might want to take Jellybean out of here because you're archenemy just came in for a banana split.

(Jughead turns his stool around as Jellybean looks up at Jughead.)

Jughead: Arch, no worries.

Jughead: Perfect timing as Jellybean has just started teething.

(Jughead looks down at Jellybean who listens intently.)

Jughead: Jellybean, remember all those stories about that nasty, scary girl who never ever leaves me alone?

(Jughead points her out to Jellybean as Trula hasn't noticed them as she is talking with Nancy.)

Jughead: That's her!

(Jellybean has a fervent expression as Jughead looks on happily. Jellybean is acting like she is crunching her knuckles.)

Jughead: Yeah, that's how we talked.

Reggie: I knew he trained her to hit me!

(Jughead raises a hand and motions for Trula to come over to him.)

Jughead: Hey, Trula! Over here!

Trula: ?

(Betty leans over towards Jughead.)

Betty: You haven't really trained her to attack...have you?

Jughead: Nothing like that Betts. Trula thinks she's wormed her way into my brain, and I'm going to prove her how wrong she is.

(Trula is in front of Jughead and Jellybean as everyone moves back. Trula has her eyes closed as she smiles.)

Trula: Juggers, have you finally conceded defeat to me?

Jughead: In your nightmares.

(Jughead stands up and holds out Jellybean to Trula as Trula eyes Jellybean. Jellybean has a blank expression on her face. Trula has a confused expression.)

Jughead: I was thinking: you have analyzed, studied, and categorized all my life, but my little sister. Wanna hold her?

Trula: Well, it could only help with my research...and she is cute.

(Jughead smiles as Trula leans her head in.)

Jughead: Oh, she is, she is. And you might find her helpful since we think the same thoughts.

Trula: That I can believe. Eating and sleeping is all she's capable of, too

(Trula is holding Jellybean under her arms as she seems to examine her. Reggie looks on intently. Betty and Veronica bury a head into Archie's chest as they expect the worse to happen. Jughead has a thought balloon a she pictures Jellybean pulling Trula's hair as Trula screams.)

Jughead: Oh, you'd be surprised what she could do.

(Jughead looks on, waiting for Jellybean to attack as Trula continues to eye her.)

(Jellybean suddenly begins to laugh and smile at Trula. Jughead's so shocked his hat soars in the air. Everyone else is in shock as well.)

Jellybean: giggle giggle

Trula: My, my, aren't you a happy little thing!!

(Jellybean is hugging Trula around her neck as Trula smiles on. Jughead turns away in disgust Archie places a hand on Jughead's shoulder. The girls look on amused. Reggie is on the ground laughing away.)

Archie: Jug, I think maybe Jellybean is trying to tell you something about yourself.

Jughead:  I don't understand it! How can the bond between a big brother and little sister be broken into so many pieces so quickly!

(As Jellybean begins to tug at Trula Twyst's hair, Jughead begins to reminisce about something in the past.)

Jellybean: Curls good!

Jughead: "Curls good...?"

(Jughead is thinking back as a though balloon of Jellybean in her high chair with a small plate of curly fries is on her table as she shakes her head. Jughead's mom is pointing at the plate as Jughead confidently walks past her.)

Jughead's mom: I don't understand it. Jellybean loves French fries!

Jughead: I think I know what it is.

(Jughead is continuing to look on at his thought balloon as everything is coming clear to him. Flashback Jughead is eating one of the curly fries as Jellybean looks on absorbedly.)

Jughead: I know you're used to straight cut French fries, but the curly ones are just as good—maybe even better!

(Jughead is waving his arms as he tries to reason with Jellybean as Jellybean continues to play with Trula's hair as Trula smiles. In the background the rest of the gang looks on with a smile.)

Jughead: No! Curls bad! These curls especially bad!

Betty: Jellybean is just like her brother.

Archie: Yeah, it's the stomach that does all the thinking for both.

THE END.

#59
Fan Fiction / Jughead in Nice Guy
May 08, 2016, 10:08:18 PM
 Wow. Back when I tried to do something with Nancy before just giving up like everyone else. I actually liked this story but I had written a few Jughead vs Trula stories already. I mean, even then I knew she was probably going to be put on the back burner but I was hopeful.

Now I'm much older and cynical and don't like anything because anything I do like will spawn rip offs that I will detest. Flash Animation mostly. :)





(Jughead and Archie are walking into Riverdale High as other students are entering as well.)

Jughead: Arch, my bestest bud in the whole wide world, how about I treat you to a meal?

(Archie walks ahead, frustrated at Jughead. Archie has his hands in his pockets.)

Archie: I told you already I can't even buy me anything after my date with Veronica where steak costs twenty dollars.

(They are inside the school and in the halls as Jughead catches up to Archie.)

Jughead: You need ears big as mine: I said "I treat."

(Archie turns to Jughead in disbelief.)

Archie: Wait. You're paying?

Jughead: No one's paying.

(Jughead shows Archie a raffle ticket from Pop Tate's.)

Jughead: Not with this raffle ticket for a free meal for two I won from Pop's.

(Archie and Jughead are walking down the hall as Betty, who is carrying three books in both hands, is coming the opposite way and they don't see her.)

Archie: The guy with the biggest tab in Riverdale winning that price. That's irony worthy of Shakespeare.

Jughead: It's delicious irony worth a drink, a burger, slice of pizza, lasagna—

(Jughead bumps into Betty, causing her to knock her books down.)

BUMP

(Jughead begins to help Betty with her books as Archie looks on positively.)

Jughead: Sorry, Betty, I should have watched where I was going. Let me help.

Betty: Thanks, Jughead.

(Betty is going the other direction and the two friends go theirs as Archie smiles at Jughead.)

(Jughead turns to Archie.)

Jughead: You thinking of Veronica or something? What's with that dopey grin?

(Archie and Jughead are talking as they walk. Jughead is becoming annoyed with Archie and his observations. Just ahead of them, Nancy and Trula Twyst are talking to one another.)

Archie: I was thinking how you are always against going out with girls, talking with them...but behind all of that, you're a nice guy at heart.

Jughead: Her books were on my ticket. Compromises had to be made.

Archie: Yeah, yeah...

(Jughead and Archie stop as Nancy and Trula are talking.)

Trula: My father will be meeting me at Riverdale Central Park after school. I can't wait. It's been such a long time since I've seen him that—

(Jughead talks as Nancy and Trula turn to him.)

Jughead: Really? I hope he's an author like your mom. I'd love to read a book on that subject matter of how to avoid Trula Twyst.

(Jughead has his eyes closed as he is picturing an image in his mind. Trula is getting angry as Nancy tries to stop Jughead.)

Nancy: Jughead, this isn't something you should...

Jughead: We can call it: Making Mistakes and How to Avoid Them.

(Trula glares at Jughead.)

Trula: You had better not say one word to me again for a very long time.

(Trula walks away as Jughead looks on with a smile. Archie looks confused and Nancy is glaring at Jughead.)

Archie: Wow, you actually got to her for once. She didn't even give you the glance, shrug, or facial expression.

Jughead: Who knew all I had to do was be more proactive?

(Jughead turns and notices Nancy glaring at him.)

Jughead: What?

Nancy: You need to keep that mouth closed when you eat and when you comment about someone's life when you don't have a clue.

(Jughead attempts to shrug of Nancy's comment.)

Jughead: What? The dragon got burned this time. She'll go back to her den and come back out snorting flames soon enough.

(Nancy begins to explain Trula's situation as Jughead is taken back and Archie glares at Jughead.)
 
Nancy: Trula's parents divorced when she was a kid. Her father and mother never speak, and Trula hardly ever sees him.

Jughead: Gulp.

Archie: Real classy, Jughead.

(Jughead tries to defend himself as Nancy and Archie look at him

Jughead: C'mon, I didn't know. If I had, I wouldn't have said it. Isn't that enough?

Nancy: Why don't you try apologizing?

Archie: Like a nice guy would?

(Jughead walks away as Nancy and Archie look on disappointedly.)

Jughead: How about I be a good soldier and tip toe out of this mine field?

(Jughead is in Miss Grundy's class at his seat as Archie takes his seat next to him.)

(Jughead continues to look ahead as Archie looks at him and glares.)

(Jughead turns his eyes to Archie.)

Jughead: Something on your mind?

(Archie talking with Jughead as Jughead moves a pencil around in his fingers.)

Archie: Yeah. Accidental or not, that was tactless what you said.

(Jughead stops messing with his pencil and smirks at Archie.)

Jughead: If you want to throw stones, you should move out of your glass house before I pitch mine.

Archie: What's that supposed to mean?

(Jughead points towards Betty and Veronica who are talking near the back of the classroom. Archie has a guilty look on his face.)

Jughead: Is it being a nice guy when you tell Betty you'll take her to the movies Saturday, but instead take Veronica, who finds out and won't say a word to you?

(Betty and Veronica stare ferociously at Archie.)

Archie: Yikes!

(Archie turns back in his seat as Jughead folds his arms in a triumphant pose.)

Jughead: Thought so.

(Archie talks to Jughead who eases up from his stern look.)

Archie: Fine. I messed up and they both are mad at me—but they'll forgive me because I apologized.

Jughead: You'd be dead in the water if they ever set a limit.

(Jughead is talking to Archie who looks on unvaryingly.)

Jughead: Hey, everyone's sorry when it's too late to matter, so why dwell on the past?

Archie: Funny how this period is American History.

(Jughead rolls his eyes as the classroom bell rings and the students begin to take their seats.)

BARRRINNGG

Jughead: Okay. I'll apologize. We can go the park on our way to Pop's, and I'll give her a quick "I'm sorry".

Archie: If it can't be heartfelt, then I guess it will have to do.

(Jughead begins stretching his raffle ticket as he has a hungry expression on his face. Archie his left elbow on his desk and places his head on his left head as he rolls his eyes in agitation.)

Jughead: And the walk will only work up my appetite!

Archie: You're all stomach and whatever is left of your heart is being digested.

(Archie and Jughead are walking in the park with several trees around them. A man is walking his dog and a hot dog vender is close by. Jughead is eating a hotdog as Archie talks to him.)

Archie: What happened to working up an appetite?

Jughead: It's easier building an appetite down.

(Archie and Jughead follow the path as they see Trula in the distance sitting on a bench waiting for her father.)

Archie: Well, there's Trula. Now apologize and at least act sorry.

(Jughead is disgruntly walking on as Archie looks on.)

Jughead: Hmph.

(Jughead notices a tree close by Trula.)

(Jughead has a light bulb over his head.)

(Jughead sneaks behind the tree)

(Jughead motions for Archie to follow him behind a tree closer to Trula.)

Archie: ?

(Archie is behind Jughead as they begin to whisper.)

Archie whispering: What are you doing? I thought you were going to apologize

Jughead whispering: I'll apologize. I just want to see Trula's dad.

(Jughead continues to look behind the tree at Trula as Archie does a face palm.)

Jughead whisper: I just want to see the guy responsible for everything wrong in my world.

(Trula is waiting sadly as the sun has moved as Archie and Jughead are still looking on from behind the tree.)

Jughead whispering: Arch, how long has it been?

(Archie looks at his watch.)

Archie whispering: A little over an hour.

(Archie and Jughead look on as Trula's phone begins to ring.)

(Trula answers he cell phone.)

Trula: Dad, hey, I'm waiting is something..

(Jughead and Archie look at each other with concerned looks behind the tree.)

Trula off-panel: ...I...I understand. Things come up.

(Trula closes her cell phone.)

Trula: Yeah. You're sorry. Just like all the other times--

(Trula puts her elbows on her legs and places her hands over her face as she begins to cry.)

(Jughead looks on with actual concern and sympathy as Archie begins to walk away and place a hand on Jughead's shoulder, signaling that it's best to leave. Jughead winces as Archie brings up his careless comment about apologizes)

Archie: Jug...we should just go.

Archie: It's like you said: everyone's sorry when it's too late to matter.

(Jughead looks sorrowfully at Trula who is still crying.)

(Jughead looks at his chest)

Jughead: Fine. Just quit your whining, okay?

(Archie is walking away as we see Jughead standing up behind the tree.)

Jughead: Hey, Arch, I'm not really feeling like a feast today, y'know. Maybe tomorrow?

(Archie begins to walk away as Jughead suddenly leaps over to the path.)

Archie: Yeah. I understand, Jug.

(Archie turns around.)

Archie: Jughead?

(Archie looks over to see Jughead walking over to Trula with his hands folded behind his head in a very casual and laid back way.)

Jughead: Hey.

(Archie sneaks back behind the tree Trula looks her head up with tears still in her eyes.)

Jughead: Fancy running into you.

Trula: Oh!

(Trula wipes her eyes as she tries to force a smile.)

Trula: Oh...Juggers.

Trula: You...you just missed my father, he was called back to work. But we talked about when I was little, the places he's been...

(Jughead begins to go into his right pocket as Trula tries to force a smile.)

Trula: I've been crying tears of joy.

Jughead: Yeah.

(Jughead takes a step away from Trula.)

(Jughead has the raffle ticket out of his pocket.)

Jughead: Trula, since your dad had to leave early and Archie dumped me to see Veronica and I have this two meal ticket at Pop's, how about joining me?

(Trula's face lights up.)

(Trula smiles as she stands up and dusts herself off.)

Trula: Sure. I find your seat at the counter much more comfortable than this wooden bench.

(Jughead and Trula walk along the path. Jughead is arguing with Trula as Trula has her eyes closed and smiling. In the distance we can see Archie away from the tree looking on with a favorable grin.)

Jughead: Hey! You're not taking my seat when I'm giving you a free meal! 

Trula: But, Juggers, you're free meal is in our free country.

(Archie watches the two walk away.)

Archie: Not the convention nice guy, but he makes it work.

Jughead: That argument would work if you were from this planet!

Archie: Barely.

THE END
#60
Fan Fiction / Ethel in BFF
May 08, 2016, 09:51:03 PM
 Okay this is a short one so that means my aunt was over my house. My aunt likes to talk about the same things over and over and sometimes I like to look busy. And before anyone condemns me, I've heard about Three Rivers corn meal and how she learned they stopped selling it thousands upon thousands of time. I can't even eat cornbread anymore. :(

And I liked the idea of Ethel and Trula being friends because one character is all heart and one is all brain.



Ethel: BFF

(Ethel is talking with Betty as they walk down the hall after school.)

Betty: Not too bad a day, huh, Ethel.

Ethel: Nope. I caught Jughead in between classes today.

(Betty looks at Ethel's greasy hands.)

Betty: How did it go?

Ethel: Not well. Dashed out the window and down the fire escape.

(Veronica is running up towards Betty. The both completely ignore Ethel.)

Veronica: Betty, Daddykins just paid up my credit cards.

Ethel: Hi, Veronica, how are—

(Veronica and Betty are enjoying talking to one another as Ethel can't get a word in as she stands just behind them.)

Veronica: How about you and I take a trip to the mall? A girl's afternoon.

Ethel: Gee, I think I have the time to—

Betty: Yeah, you buy dresses worth my house, while I window shop.

(Veronica and Betty walk off leaving Ethel disgruntled.)

Veronica: Piddly-posh. Pennies and hundreds are nothing between friends. Buy yourself a dress and consider it a gift.

Betty: Veronica, I appreciate the offer, but I can't just have you—

(Ethel looks like she is about to speak with one finger in the air as if to gain their attention.)

Veronica: Okay, then you can pay me back by keeping me company and giving me a few cooking lessons.

Betty: Well, I guess I could...

Ethel: ...

(Ethel turns away as Betty and Veronica are nearly out of sight.)

Veronica: Excellent! I know this chef hat and apron that would match my Katy Keene Viva Blue Dress!

Ethel: Oh, what's the use?

(Ethel looks depressed as she walks along the school.)

Ethel: I guess I shouldn't be too upset. After all, Betty and Veronica are BFFs.

(Ethel begins to think as she rolls her eyes to her upper right and her right eyebrow is raised. In the immediate vicinity: Moose is talking with Dilton, and Midge is talking with both Chuck and Nancy.)

Ethel: Come to think of it, I don't have a BFF.

(Ethel puts her back against a wall as she leans against it with he right foot crossed over her left.)

Ethel: I have my boyfriend in Jughead, but that doesn't really count, and he and Archie have been best friends since they were little.

(Ethel is looking at everyone previously mentioned. Moose and Dilton are talking as they walk towards Midge, Nancy, and Chuck.)

Ethel: Everyone here is my friend, but not a BFF.

(Ethel is focusing on Moose and Dilton.)

Moose: Duh, you sure do know your science. Wish I could understand biology like you.

Dilton: We all have things we're good at Moose. Like how you are the star athlete of the school.

Moose: You think so?

(Ethel is watching as Moose and Dilton continue to talk as they head towards Nancy, Midge, and Chuck.)

Ethel: Just look at them. They are complete opposites, but they have gotten along since they first met.

(Ethel begins to focus on Midge, Nancy, and Chuck. Midge and Nancy are chattering to each other, while Chuck is a few steps back, and blushing.)

Midge: You're kidding! He drew on the napkin...

Nancy: And the ink sunk through and ruined the restaurant's table cloth.

Chuck: It was only a little smear.

(Moose has joined the trio as Dilton walks on. He raises his hand to signal goodbye as Moose turns the favor.)

Nancy: A little smear that cost you two hundred dollars.

Midge: I've never heard of a designer table cloth.

Moose: Duh, well someone had ta make it.

(Ethel looks on as the four leave. Nancy and Chuck lead the way as Moose and Midge follow.)

Ethel: And the best part about having a BFF with her own boyfriends is the double dates and parties you can go to together.

(Mr. Weatherbee carrying a large stack of

Miss Grundy: I appreciate the help, Waldo.

Mr. Weatherbee: This is what friend's are for. You want me to really help you...

(Ethel looks on depressed as Mr. Weatherbee and Miss Grundy laugh.)

Mr. Weatherbee: I'd lock Archie in detention and throw away the key!

Miss Grundy: Throw in Reggie and Jughead, and I'll have you brought up for sainthood!

(Ethel leans against the wall, her head lowered as she sadly thinks to herself. In the background, Trula Twyst notices her. Trula is carrying a purse.)

Ethel: Even Miss Grundy has a lifelong, dependable friend in Mr. Weatherbee.

(Ethel begins to cry as Trula looks on.)

Ethel: I don't have anyone like that!!

SOB SOB

(Ethel looks as a hand holds out a tissue for her.)

Ethel: Huh?

(We see Trula Twyst holding the tissue.)

Trula: Here.

(Ethel takes it as she blows her nose.)

Ethel: Thanks you.

PPPPPTTTTBBBBBB

Trula: Is something wrong, Ethel?

(Ethel looks away.)

Ethel: It's really no big deal.

Trula: If it causes an emotional reaction, I diagnose that talking about it would help.

Ethel: Sounds like psychology 101 to me, but okay.

(Ethel turns back to Trula. Trula seems confused.)

Ethel: I was just thinking how I don't really have a BFF while everyone else does.

Trula: But you have several friends.

(Ethel is no longer leaning against the wall as she talks with Trula.)

Ethel: It's different. Its one person you trust totally. You go to each others houses; they help you with boy problems, girl nights out, talk about the good and bad...

(Ethel drops her shoulders. Trula has her right index finger on her chin.)

Ethel: You have a best friend, right?

Trula: Well...

Ethel: Thought so.

(Trula smiles and tilts her head to her left. Ethel is taken back by Trula's response.)

Trula: It's you.

Ethel: ?!!

(Ethel begins to question Trula as Trula turns her head to her right slightly as seems slightly depressed by her status amongst the other students.)

Ethel: I'm your BFF?

Trula: Yes.

Ethel: Why me?

(Trula sadly motions behind her at the empty hall to illustrate her low friend count.)

Trula: For starters, I don't have many friends. I'm too distant and everyone thinks that I'm untrustworthy and deceitful.

(Trula continues to talk as Ethel is sincerely moved.)

Trula: You're one of the only people who doesn't treat me like a leper. You don't treat anyone like that. You're open, you're kind, and you always have good intentions.

(Trula looks at Ethel timidly.)

Ethel: If that's how you felt, why didn't you ever go up and talk to me more often?

Trula: Normally, I don't care how people think of me, but if you saw me as devious and wanted nothing to do with me...I think that would bother me.

(Trula has her eyes closed and does her fake smile. Trula doesn't notice that Ethel is beaming with happiness.)

Trula: And we also seem to competing for the same goal, which wouldn't bold well for--

(Ethel puts both hands on Trula's shoulders as Trula is suprised.)

Ethel: This is perfect!

Trula: !!?

(Ethel is talking as Trula looks on puzzled.)

Ethel: We have a lot of the same classes, so we can study together at each others houses. You can come to my house today!

Trula: Today?

(Trula seems pleasantly surprised.)

Trula: Well, my mother is on another book tour this week, and I could—

Ethel: This is great!

(Ethel and Trula begin to walk out of the school together. Ethel is looking head and motioning with her hands as if she can see the future. Trula look at her with a grin, amused by Ethel's enthusiasm.)

Ethel: You can stay over and we can talk about school, gossip we've heard, fashion, boys...

(Ethel leans over to Trula's ear and cups a hand around it as if it's only their little secret. Trula is unusually cheerful)

Ethel: ...And one certain boy in particular.

Trula: I think I would like that a lot.

(Ethel and Trula are walking further as they are in the distance.)

Ethel: Who knows, we might just become the love triangle of Riverdale.

(Jughead and Archie are eating at Pop Tate's near a window seat as Jughead begins to shiver uncontrollably. In front both is an ice cream treat.)

Jughead: BRRRRRRR

Archie: You look like you have the avalanche of brain freezes.

(Jughead is looking at Archie with a worried, almost prophet like demeanor as he talks to Archie. Out the window, not seen by Jughead is Ethel and Trula driving by the street in Ethel's car.)

Jughead: Something very wrong just happened, Archie.

Jughead: Something terribly, horribly wrong!

THE END.