Jughead in the Enforcer.

(Jughead is at his seat at Pop's counter as he has three slices of pizza, two cheeseburgers, onion rings, and French fries on his plate with a giant soda to wash it down. Jughead is salivating as he eyes his meal and Pop Tate looks on angrily.)

Jughead: Wow! You've really outdone yourself, Pops! This meal is definitely worth the price...

Pop Tate: And here it comes.

(Jughead extends his index finger and points at Pop's. Pop shakes his head and has his eyes upward as he unpleasantly expected Jughead's response.)

Jughead: ...So put it on my tab.

(Pop Tate is talking to Jughead who begins eating a slice of pizza.)

Pop Tate: You should know that I've recently employed a part-time enforcer for people who don't pay their bills or have tabs longer than the Riverdale point guard.

(Ethel in shades and wearing a Pop Tate's T-shirt is sneaking up on Jughead as he begins to take a drink from his soda.)

Jughead: Hey, you can't squeeze blood from a stone.

(Jughead begins to make a doggie bag out of what's left of his meal as Ethel has her arms ready to pounce.)

Jughead: But hey, I'll walk my doggie bag in the park and finish up there if that's your attitude.

(Ethel wraps her arms around Jughead as Jughead is taken by surprise and drops his drink.)

Ethel: Gotcha, Juggie wuggie!

SFX: CLENCH

Jughead: AAHHH!

(Jughead twists and torts his body, but can't break free from Ethel's hug as Pop looks on approvingly.)

Jughead: Okay! Okay! I'll pay!

Ethel: Pop, can he pay in kisses and hugs?

(Pop Tate has his index finger at his chin as he feigns thinking as Jughead pleads with him as he desperately tries to get away from Ethel who is puckering her lips and planting a kiss on his face.)

Pop Tate: Hmm....

Pop Tate: I don't see why not.

Jughead: NOOOO!!!

THE END.

Well, this fight makes more sense than Batman vs. Superman.

This show could be well be the greatest thing I will ever see.

Archie: Ruiz.

Jughead: Rex Lindsey.

Betty: Shultz. Just like his body language and facial expressions the best with his character along with great art.

Veronica: Fernando Ruiz. A close second is Schultz because of the facial expression and body language, but Ruiz does that with her too.

Reggie: Fernando Ruiz. Love that sneer.

Moose: Ruiz. I was thinking Lindsey, but I like how much wider and taller he is when Ruiz draws him.

Midge: Shultz. Fernando Ruiz is a very close second here.

Dilton: Fernando Ruiz

Cheryl Blossom: Fernando Ruiz. He never drew her all that much, but I really like his version. Holly G is a close second.

Trula Twyst: Rex Lindsey.

Chuck: Goldberg. Ah, before he became an artist and had an attitude and hung with Archie and was fun.

Nancy: Dan Parent.

Ethel: Lindsey

Pop Tate: Rex Lindsey

Toni Topaz: Fernando Ruiz.

Dede Dias: Fernando Ruiz.

Marcy: Dan Parent.

Mr. Lodge: Rex Lindsey.

Mr. Weatherbee: Goldberg.

Flutesnoot: Goldberg.

Ethel: Lindsey. It's a good compromise between not good looking and quirky. Shultz made this a hard decision.

Hot Dog: Lindsey.

Beazley: Ruiz because he draws her with stubble which makes me laugh.

Mr. Lodge: Fernando Ruiz. Ruiz does really great with characters with glasses.

Kevin Keller: Ruiz.

Josie and the Pussycats: Gisele.

Sabrina: Gisele.

Raj: Ruiz

Wendy Weatherbee: Ruiz

Chunk: Ruiz version is funny.

Tomoko: Dan Parent

Sheila Wu: Tim Levins. Yeah, I know he's only drawn maybe one Archie story...but I just liked it

 
(Archie and Jughead are in the hall next to their lockers talking as Trula Twyst is walking toward them. In the background we can see Betty and Veronica looking at Archie and talking amongst themselves.)

Archie: Bad news, Jugs. You're worse enemy is coming right at us.

Jughead: No worries, I've finally found a way to counteract her glance, her mere shrug, and her mind games.

(Archie is amazed as Jughead smiles pridefully.)

Archie: You mean you finally figured a way to beat her?

Jughead: And it's so simple.

(Jughead closes his eyes and puts his fingers in his ears as Trula is almost to them. Archie face palms at this weak attempt of Jughead's.)

Archie: Brother...

(Trula stops and looks at Jughead who is closing his eyes so shut that he is straining form the pressure.)

(Trula leans over and whispers into Jughead's left ear as Jughead becomes annoyed.)

Trula: Juggers, if you really want that to work, with those massive round ears, you'd try using your entire hand.

Jughead: This will work just—

(Jughead has a look of realization on his face as he realizes his fingers are two small for his ears as he heard Trula accurately. Trula walks past Jughead and looks over at Archie.)

Jughead: ??!

(Trula is smiling at Archie and making her best attractive face towards him as he becomes entranced.)

Trula: But I'm not here to talk to you. That's in the past.

Trula: I want to talk with Archie-Pooh.

(Archie blushes. Behind him Betty and Veronica overhear and have shocked looks on their faces.)

Archie: "Archie-Pooh?"

(Trula puts a hand on each of Archie's shoulders as he begins to tremble and sweat as small hearts float over his head. Jughead looks on derisively with folded arms across his chest.)

Trula: After wasting my time on that...other guy, I realized I should have been focusing on you, Archie-Pooh.

Trula: Look at what I've been missing: those delectable freckles, magnificent orange hair, and such broad shoulders...

(Trula winks at Archie as Archie goes weak kneed and his jaw has dropped. Behind Archie, Betty and Veronica have opened a locker door and are peering from behind it as they unsuccessfully try to stay out of sight.)

Trula: You are quite the specimen, Archie Andrews. I can see why you attract others.

Archie: Re-ru—really?

Trula: Mmm-hhm.

(Trula uses her right hand to lift Archie's draw. Behind Trula, Jughead looks on displeased as he tips his crown towards his eyebrows. )

Trula: You wouldn't mind me sitting with you for lunch, would you?

Jughead: Careful, Archie. She eats people like you for breakfast.

(Archie leaps in the air happily as Trula casually begins to walk away. Jughead face palms in frustration.)

Archie: Good thing we're talking about lunch!

(Trula begins to jump up and down in the air as she seems extremely happy.)

Trula: Yes! Whoohoo! Oboy!

(Trula begins to do cartwheels as several students move to clear way for her.)

Trula: Archie Andrews and I will be sitting together! My life has been leading up to this!

(Trula looks over at Betty and Veronica who are glaring at her.)

(Trula stops her cartwheels to acknowledge them.)

(Trula slightly shrugs her shoulders and smiles as if to say what can they do.)

(Betty and Veronica are fuming as Trula skips away happily. Archie is walking away in the other direction like a love struck zombie the other direction as several students look at him perplexed. Jughead looks on in revulsion.)

Betty: Can you believe her?! After our Archie and rubbing our noses in it.

Veronica: Later, Betty. Right now, I say we deal with the person responsible.

(Jughead turns around as Betty and Veronica's shadows overlap Jughead.)

Jughead: Brrrrr

Jughead: Haven't felt this cold since the time I wore summer clothes in last year's blizzard while eating snow cones. 

(Veronica shoves Jughead into the lockers.)

Veronica: Enough wise cracks!

CLANG

(Jughead has one hand rubbing the back of his head and the other rubbing his stomach.)

Jughead: Easy. I think you dislodged my stomach because my craving went from pizza to hamburgers and that's a two hour skip ahead.

Betty: This is serious, Jughead!

(Veronica and Betty keep Jughead pinned against the lockers as he looks on in deep fright)

Veronica: Because of you, that femme fatale is trying to sink her venomous fangs around our sweet Archie's heart.

Betty: You need to fix this now before the toxins set in!

(Jughead uses his arms to gently push his way inbetween the two girls.)

Jughead: Hey, I know Archie is my best bud in the entire universe, but...

(Jughead turns around to face them. He has right arm raised and using two fingers to show someone running up stairs and his stretched out as far as it can left arm with two fingers to show someone on level ground.)

Jughead: It's like in the horror movies when two friends are chased by the monster and it follows the one friend up the stairs and the other guy is in the other room with the door wide open.

Jughead: I can't be expected to risk certain death given the circumstances and chance for escape.

(Betty and Veronica turn to each other in confirmation.)

(Betty has Jughead in a hammer lock across his back with his left arm and Veronica has Jughead's right arm over his head as Jughead is on his knees in tremendous pain.)

Jughead: OKAY! OKAY! I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING! I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING!

(Betty and Veronica walk away as Jughead painfully examines his aching arms as he acts like he is eating a burger only it is raised just above his mouth.)

Jughead: I'll never be able to eat a cheeseburger the same way ever again.

(Jughead is walking into a classroom as he is thinking.)

Jughead: Okay, Mr. Jones, what can you do to stop this ball from rolling?

Jughead: Can't interfere openly because the curly haired Medusa would turn me to stone with a glance.

Miss Grundy off-panel: Archie, please hand out the papers for today.

(Jughead closes eyes and winces as if he can feel Archie's pain.)

Archie: Sure thing, Miss Grundy, you can count on—WHOA!

THUD!

(Archie has fallen on the ground bent over in the shape of a V with a backpack around his legs and scattered papers flying through the air. Reggie and several other students look at Archie. Reggie is laughing.)

Reggie: Wow, Andrews, this was almost as bad as when you tried walking and chewing gum at the same time, you klutz!

(Jughead snaps his fingers as an idea comes to him.)

Jughead: Now that is the golden ticket to the chocolate factory.

(Veronica and Betty are running towards the lunch room as Nancy and Chuck look on. Betty is ahead with Veronica seemingly having trouble running in her boots.)

Betty: C'mon, Ronny, we have to hurry!

Veronica: You try running in these boots! They were made for fashion, not a race.

(Betty and Veronica go inside the cafeteria and stop in place.)

Betty: We both had to fake being sick to get ahead of Trula and wait for Archie, we can't just—

(Betty and Veronica look angrily as they see Trula and Archie sitting at a lunch table alone. They have the only two seats at their table. Midge and Moose are close by at another lunch table and two empty seats are right next to Moose. Archie is looking at Trula with lovestruck eyes as Trula uses a small spoon to take a bite of her desert.)

Veronica: How did she--?!

Betty: And she's at our table!

(Veronica tries to pick up the empty chair next to Moose, but can't as it seems cemented to the ground.)

Moose: D-uh?

Veronica: Well, two's company, three's a crowd, so grab that other seat and let's make it a riot!

(Veronica is still trying to lift her chair, but can't as her hair is becoming to come out of place and her cheeks turning red. Betty is bending down to look at the legs of her seat to see that they are glued to the floor.)

Veronica: Errrkk! What's wrong with this stupid thing? I'm used to someone sliding it out of place and back for me. What am I doing wrong here?!

Betty: It looks like they're super glued to the floor.

(Trula finishes her bite as she talks. She does not turn her head and has her eyes closed and is smiling from enjoying the desert.)

Trula: Gorilla glue actually, or so it seems to the casual eye.

(Betty and Veronica look angrily at Trula as Archie gallops way.)

Trula: Oh, Archie-Pooh, could you maybe get me a diet soda from the machine, if you could be so kind?

Archie: I can! I can! Kind and a soda! I can do both!

(Trula turns to look at Betty and Veronica. Betty is upset and Veronica looks like she could pounce on Trula.)

Betty: That's a dirty trick, Trula.

Veronica: And stop calling him that ridiculous name!

(Trula seems to be only half interested in what Betty and Veronica are saying.)

Veronica: It's Archiekins and it can only be Archiekins, got it?

Betty: Trula, I thought you were interested in Jughead. Why all the attention to Archie all of a sudden?

(Trula shrugs he shoulders.)

Trula: It's certainly not a case of picking the boy that daddy cares little for or picking the boy next door out of some uncontrollable obsession.

Veronica: Grrrrr

(Veronica is being held back by Betty as Trula turns back to her table and begins to eat her snack again like nothing is happening.)

Veronica: Why you amateur psychologist!! I'll show you real head shrinking when I flatten your head for you!

Betty: Ronnie!

Trula: Mmm. Miss Beazley must be recommended for her culinary skills.

Veronica: Liar!

(Jughead is shaking a bottle of a diet drink. Jughead is standing in front of the soda machine with his back turned to the wall.)

Jughead: I'd cash in all of MyPepRewards if I could get Trula to reenact my favorite scene in the Wizard of Oz.

(Jughead sees Archie approaching.)

Jughead: And we're off to see the wizard...

(Archie begins to talk to Archie as he reaches into his pockets.)

Archie: Jughead, I thought you were avoiding me ever since Trula—

Jughead: Me? Nah, where would you get that idea from?

Archie: Reality.

(Archie has his pockets out to show that they are empty. As Archie isn't looking, Jughead is shaking the soda bottle even more.)

Jughead: Well, truth is stranger than fiction.

Archie: Rats. I must have lent you all of my money yesterday at Pop's.

Jughead: Really? I wouldn't remember that.

(Jughead holds the soda bottle to Archie.)

Jughead: Here. I couldn't help overhearing you and Trula, and I wanted to pay you back for at least six meals. So here.

Archie: Thanks, Jughead. You're a real pal.

(Jughead follows behind with a sly smile on his face.)

Jughead: You just remember that when the going gets tough.

(Archie is handing the soft drink to Trula as Betty is trying to calm Veronica down just behind her. The soda is seemingly erupting )

Archie: Just as you wanted, Trula.

Trula: You're the sweetest, nicest, most generous--

(Trula begins to open the soda.)

Trula: Archie-Pooh, you're the sweetest, nicest, most generous--

(The soda explodes and fizzes all over Trula's head.)

FSSZZZZZZZZZ



Archie: !!!

(Archie reaches for a napkin from his food tray as Trula is dripping wet as Veronica and Betty looking on happily. Jughead has the body language that is screaming: Job Well Done. Trula does not react and simply stares blankly straight ahead.)

Archie: I'm so sorry, I didn't want that to--it wasn't me, you see—

Jughead: I'm not going to sugarcoat it, Trula. That carbonated drink makes you look like a drowned rat.

(Trula stands up and stares blankly at Archie who becomes nervous as Jughead nods his head, waiting for Trula to become angry.)

(Trula still has the same vacant facial expression as Veronica and Betty become near over patient with Trula breaking up with Archie.)

(Trula suddenly smiles.)

Trula: I know, Archie, bad things just tend to happen to you. It's not your fault in the slightest. These little...incidents are what make you special to me.

(Archie lights up as Jughead is wide-eyed in disbelief.)

Archie: Really?!

Jughead: Really??

(Trula takes Archie by the hand as they walk past Jughead without paying him a glance. Betty and Veronica's are both slumped over with their arms dragging as they look on in a mix of disbelief and disappointment.)

Trula: You can make it all up to me by taking me to the movies this afternoon around four.

(Trula sticks her nose in the air and acts snobbish as she leads Archie away. Jughead, Betty, and Veronica look on in frustration.)

Trula: Now come. Lunch is nearly over and the daughter of a famous writer can't be expected to carry her own books.

Archie: And you won't!

Trula: And hurry after school. I want us to be prompt and be seen by everyone as we go into the theater. A picture speaks a million words.

(Betty and Veronica are angrily taking to Jughead who doesn't seem to register them talking to him as he watches Trula and Archie leave.)

Veronica: Is that the best you could think of?! If you're going to drench her, throw her into the ocean!

Betty: Yeah, it's going to take more than that to—

(Jughead suddenly snaps.)

Jughead:  You don't think I know this isn't serious!? My best friend's backbone is about to be yanked out by that devilish surgeon!

(Jughead holds up a finger in declaration.)

Jughead: Even if I must fall on the sword myself, if it gets Arch out of Trula's talons, I'll take that fatal wound!

(Jughead begins to storm out of the cafeteria as everyone looks on, from Miss Beazley to Dilton in the food line.)

Dilton: Jughead entering a cafeteria and leaving without taking a single nibble? That's rarer than a proton spinning at such dexterity the charges subside and build in mass similar to that of a neutron.

Miss Beazley: Yeah, and he's the only one of you little jerks who understands the finesse and time I put into my work.

(Miss Beazley drops a badly burnt piece of meat into Dilton's lunch tray. Dilton has a sickly expression on his face)

plud

Miss Beazley: The ash and scorch gives it flavor.

(Archie and Trula are entering the movie theater arm and arm as Betty and Veronica, wearing trench coats and shades follow them inside.)

Caption: Promptly four in the afternoon.

(They are inside the theater as Archie and Trula have taken their seats. Archie is holding a large tub of popcorn. The disguised Veronica and Betty are sitting two rows back, spying on the couple. An usher is walking down the open aisle.)

Veronica whispering: I can't believe I'm wearing something so...so tacky.

Betty whispering: I can't believe Archie is willingly watching a rom-com. He always wants me to watch action movies with plenty of explosives when we plan to go out.

(Veronica shows Betty her palm as Betty rolls here eyes.)

Veronica: That's why you smack him in the back of the head. It gets him in line every time.

Betty: Gee, and I wondered why Archie was seeing new people.

(The lights begin to dim as Veronica focus on Archie and Trula. Archie is looking at Trula smitten while Trula is looking at her watch, not interested in anything else.)

Veronica: Mock if you must, but that tactic has led me and Archiekins to view all the movies in the Midday trilogy. Twice.

Archie: Trula, is something wrong?

(Trula looks at Archie and gives him a fake smile.)

Trula: Oh, nothing.

(The lights begin to dim.)

Trula: Three. Two...

(Archie turns to the aisle as he hears a voice.)

Jughead off-panel: STOP! TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON.

(Jughead is looking down at Archie and Trula condescendingly as the usher approaches Jughead. The lights are turning back to the way they were before.)

Usher: Is there a problem?

Jughead: Yeah, there's a big problem!

(Jughead points at Trula as Archie, Betty, Veronica, and several others in the movie theater look at Trula. Trula simply smiles as if greeted by a friend.)

Jughead: Her!

Trula: Juggers, you must be lost. The cartoon movie is playing at the end of the hall.

(The usher is confused as he scratches his head as Jughead looks down at Trula as Archie sinks in his seat, embarrassed by being caught up in this.)

Usher: She didn't buy a ticket?

Jughead: Oh, she's a sneak alright, but not the kind that sneaks into movie theaters! That's about the least damage she could ever do!

Archie: Jug, could we save the over dramatics at least until its pitch dark...?

(Jughead bends over Archie and is nose to nose with Trula, who is defiant towards him.)

Jughead: I know you're using Archie to play some sort of twisted mind game on me!

Trula: So what if I am? What can you do about it?

Jughead: Oh, you think I can't do anything about it?

Trula: I know you can't do anything about it!

(Betty and Veronica look on dumbfounded as Jughead and Trula argue off panel.)

Jughead: Oh, yes I can!

Trula: No, you can't!

Jughead: Watch me!

(Jughead grabs Trula by her hand and leads her away from Archie to another section of seats. Trula seems pleased by these events. Archie looks on speechless)

Jughead: You're sitting right next to me, away form Archie, and where I can keep an eye on you.

(Archie looks at Trula's empty seat.)

Archie: I never thought I would say this: Jughead stole my girl.

Archie: What else can go wrong?

(Jughead returns and grabs Archie's popcorn.)

Jughead: And this much buttered popcorn is bad for your cholesterol.  You're just begging for a heart attack.

SNATCH

(Archie has his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands as he is dejected. Behind him Veronica and Betty take off their trenchcoats and shades to reveal they have dressed up as if on a date.)

Archie: Right now I'm begging for a girl sitting right next to me during this girly movie.

(Betty jumps over to the seat on Archie's left.)

Betty: Ask...

Archie: Betty!

(Veronica jumps over to the seat to his right.)

Veronica: ...And ye shall receive.

Archie: Veronica!

(The last shot is a wide shot of Archie with an arm around Betty and Veronica's shoulder as Archie is happy to have two girls next to him and the girls are happy to have Archie back all to themselves. Three rows down Jughead is watching the movie and eating his popcorn as Trula rests her head on Jughead's right shoulder without him seeming to notice. Jughead is still holding her hand, but more to keep her from running back to Archie than anything else.)

Archie: Now this is a happy ending.

MUNCH MUNCH

Jughead: Could use a few more explosions though. And more salt.

 


Archie.

It was...good to see him. My best pal. Someone who always lent me five dollars knowing I'd never pay him back. All the wisecracks and butting in on his dates and he's still always there for a smart mouth moocher like me. A true blue...

Blue.

Cold.

It's turning cold.

My arm. It's turning cold.

It was hot. And throbbing. Pain. Unbearable burning pain.

So cold. And my vision...edging closer to some darkness, like day turning to night. Hard to remember everyone's face. When I do...my stomach tightens.

I like eating. But not this craving. No...but it hurts. The hunger hurts. So dry. So thirty. Insatiable.

No—no! Focus! I'm Jughead Jones! I haven't changed my underwear in two weeks! I like to eat; I like the art in pastries and all the mouth blowing flavors in a Big Pop double patty at Pop Tate's Chocklit Shoppe! And I like to sleep!

Sleep...

No. I don't—I think if I do go to sleep, I'll fade away. I'm already drifting. An abyss. I'm looking into this endless well of darkness and I'm so hungry and I'm not feeling like me and I'm hungry and I'm cold and I'm hungry and I'm scared and I'm hungry and I'm hungry--

Never been this hungry. Not ever.

Insides are eating at me. Something sharp. Feels like I'm being ripped inside out...

Arm's numb. Dead. Body numb...dying...?

No. Don't focus on that. Think of something else. Mom and Pop. Jellybean.

Hot Dog.

Hot Dog...Hot Dog was dead. On the street. Blood. I—I went to Sabrina. She couldn't help me...then she did. I dug a hole...near the River Styx...? I came home. Wait. He came. Something came.

Something clamped on my arm. Arm turned crimson. Wet.  It hurt. It hurt real bad.

He didn't come back. Hot Dog didn't come back—something did...

So hungry. So cold.

Skin feels lumpy.

I messed up. I messed up bad and now I'm—

Dying? Something else?

Something else...

I...I can't even open my mouth. Can't feel my mouth if it's open. I want something to eat, but—not food. Not food.

I think...bad things. I'm—doing bad things soon.

Focus. Remember faces. Friends. Family.

Betty. Nice girl. Smiles all the time.

Veronica: Rich—bratty...but always fun. Wastrel...Mannequin...words...banter and quips...

Reggie. Jerk, but...o...ay...

Mom and Pop. Hungry---hungry

No. Mom and Pop...always good to mmmeggggh—me. Good to...me.

Jellybeeerrggghh

NO! Not—not think that! Never that—sister! My...little sister. Cute. Sugar and spice. Not—not eat...

I'm numb. Cold. Lumpy. Can't...stay here. Want to.

What's today?

Almost night?

There—there's a party. At school. Wish I—could'a went. The Bee and Ms. Grundy would...be at door to say hi. Food. Friends. I—might have even given Eeerggthel a dance.

Chuck draw. Dilton—big brain. Moose strong. Midge...others. Kevin...? I don't want to think about them. It makes me hungry. Wicked hungry.

Teeth not even mine. Skin...wrong. Think.

Laugh with Reggie. Nice Betty. Trade words with Ron.

Memories turning to a famine.

Everyone. Everything. A fading...a fading memory. I'm fading. Going.

Someone's left.

Best friend. Red hair. Clumsy. Too many girls...the jalopy won't start again...we'll never get where we're going on time, now...


Loan—loan me some money for a burger, would'ja Archie? I'm so hungry, I'm dying.


Archie.

EEEEARRRRCHIIEE

Thanks

And here's what I normally use to help about characters.

http://www.mightycrusaders.net/a_pages/riverdale.htm

PART TWO

(Jughead, with a clothespin over his nose is in a perfume store as several perfumes on the aisle he is peering from give off aromas.)

Caption: THURSDAY

Jughead: Okay, this will be the last place anyone would ever look to find me.

(Jughead is adjusting his clothespin as more aromas of different colors lead from perfume bottles.)

Jughead: Yuck. What kind of person would buy this overpriced, overhyped, overscented—

(Jughead walks down an aisle as he sees Veronica trying on perfume as she uses her free hand to stroke her hair as she's thinking about how gorgeous she is.)

Veronica: Yes, I believe this will attract the boys...along with my eyes, my raven hair, my....

Jughead: So this is where the magic happens...

(Jughead walks away shaking his head and acting like he is sweeping with an imaginary broom.)

Jughead: Bad juju in the witch's cauldron brews.

Trula: Then hiding in a witch's coven isn't wise during a witch hunt.

(Jughead turns around as Trula is behind him and spraying perfume on her left wrist.)

Jughead: ?!

Trula: Juggers, I need your opinion.

(Jughead turns around as Trula takes off the clothespin with her right hand and has her left wrist with the perfume fumes going into his nostrils, enflaming Jughead's eyes.)

Jughead: !!!

(Jughead has both hands over his nose as he runs away. Trula looks on cheerfully.)

Jughead: AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Trula: I think I'll wear this during our Q&A.

(Jughead is walking down a sidewalk along several buildings with a deeply worried expression as he kicks an empty soda can as he walks.)

Jughead: I only have one more day and she's already found me in less than five minutes the last three days combined!

(Jughead has his hands over his face as the approaching horror seems undeniable.)

Jughead: Knowledge is power and she's going to have two hours to form a dominion over my very soul!

Jughead: I can just imagine the evil she'd unleash upon me! How she'd change the Jughead we all know and love into some soulless brute living on her every word.

Jughead: I can see it now...

(Jughead has a thought balloon of himself and Trula happily, hand in hand, walking along in the park as doves fly overhead and various woodland animals are holding hands and dancing. Similar to a scene you'd see in a Disney movie. Jughead however reacts like it's a horror movie as he bites his hands and his face goes pale.)

Jughead: The horror!!

(Jughead sits down on a curb as a cat is walking past him.)

Jughead: I need to think of something. Something that would be the equivalent of ripping off my own right arm.

(Jughead grinds his knuckles against the temples of his head as he strains to think.)

Jughead: Think, brain, think!

Jughead thought balloon at his head: I've got nothing, bro.

(Jughead looks at his stomach)

Jughead: What about you trusted friend? What do you think I should do?

Jughead thought balloon at his stomach: I want to eat.

Jughead: Think harder!

Jughead thought balloon: I want to eat frozen waffles!

(Jughead has his elbows at his knees and sadly rests his head on his hands as he slumps over in defeat. A barking dog runs past Jughead's feet)

Dog: Bow wow!

Jughead:  Sigh. Maybe it's not so impressive how Trula can get in my head.

(Jughead looks on as the dog is chasing the cat in a circle around some poor guy who is trapped. The guy has a box labeled fragile over his head as he tries to keep his balance.)

Jughead: Look at that. Boy, I know how it feels to be chased in an eternal struggle. Always having to run because of Trula or—

(A light bulb suddenly goes off in Jughead's eyes as he has his solution.)

Jughead: Zounds of eureka!

(Jughead looks at his right arm playfully as his hand waves goodbye to him.)

Jughead: Well, bud, we've made many a burger and held many a soda over the years, but it looks like we're finally going to part ways...


(Trula Twyst is knocking on the Coopers' front door.)

Caption: FRIDAY!!!

Knock Knock

Betty inside the house: I'm coming! I'm coming!

(Betty opens the door as Trula tilts her head to her left and gives an insincere smile. Betty taps her fingers against the door as she waits for Trula to gloat.)

Trula: Hello.

Betty: Trula Twyst. Already found Jughead and had to brag about it?

(Trula Twyst pushes past Betty.)

Trula Twyst: In a few seconds and a few moments after. May I come in?

(Trula begins to go up a staircase as Betty follows after her.)

Betty: What are you doing? This is my house!

(Trula begins to open Betty's bedroom door.)

Trula: Your house, but I surmise my prey is behind this door.

Betty: What are you--?

(Trula opens the door as Trula goes inside to see several pictures of Archie on all the walls, an image of Archie on her bedspread, and a telescope by her window pointed at the house next door. Betty looks embarrassed as Trula looks around.)

Trula: ...

(Trula turns to a blushing Betty.)

Trula: Hm. I think you and I should have a session.

Betty: It's...it's not how it looks...that bed spread was a present...!

(Trula begins to open Betty's closet as Betty becomes angry.)

Trula: If Archie chooses Veronica, I could make a small fortune on you alone.

Trula: Now, come on out, Juggers. You've lost and I have a few questions to ask. First question: What is up with that shirt?

(Betty runs in front of Trula and closes the door and blocks it with her entire body.)

SLAM

Betty: I don't know what you're doing, but Jughead isn't here.

(Trula begins to look Betty over as Betty looks at her straightforwardly.)

(Trula has a puzzled look as she steps back.)

Trula: You...I think you're telling me the truth.

Betty: Of course I am! I wouldn't—

(Betty begins to smile as Trula is troubled by Betty's upcoming assertion.)

Betty: Wait. You thought he was here, but he's not.

Trula: I—I don't know what you're--

(Trula turns to Betty as Betty chuckles.)

Betty: Jughead. You don't know where he is.

Trula: Don't be dense.

(Trula tries to act confident as she points out the window.)

Trula: I know Jughead. He'll have a friend hide him in his or her house. I was just wrong by a few feet.

(Trula begins to leave the Cooper house as Betty happily follows her.)

Betty: Then you won't mind if I follow?

Trula: Do as you like.

(Mrs. Andrews opens the door as Trula and Betty come in.)

Mrs. Andrews: Why, Archie? Yes, he's in the living room.

(Mrs. Andrews leads the girls to the living room as Archie is watching baseball and not looking at them.)

Mrs. Andrews: Archie!! Company!!

Archie: Jugs, I prepared for today. Got you an entire bucket of ice cream in the freezer. My treat like always, bud.

(Archie stands up after noticing Betty and Trula. Trula has a confused look on her face while Betty is smiling ear to ear.)

Archie: Betty...and Trula? What are you two doing here? I thought you'd be grilling Jughead right about now Trula.

Trula: This doesn't...I couldn't have been wrong...I...

(Trula does her fake happy expression to Mrs. Andrews as Mrs. Andrews replies)

Trula: Excuse me, Mrs. Andrews, we haven't properly met, but I'm a friend of Jughead's. Have you seen him by chance?

Mrs. Andrews: I'm afraid not. After school, I usually just see him around the refrigerator.

(Trula eyes Betty and Archie as Betty is whispering to Archie who has a mystified smile on his face.)

Archie: ...I think you're right...

(Trula begins to walk away in a huff past Mrs. Andrews.)

Trula: Thank you for your time, Mrs. Andrews. You have a lovely home.

Archie: Hey! Wait for us!

(Trula is in her car as Betty opens the car passenger door and Archie opens the left backseat door.)

Betty: We want to follow along.

Trula: Fine. This won't be much longer.


(A shot of Trula at a house as Chuck answers the door.)

Chuck: Nope. I haven't seen Jughead since the end of the day.

(A shot of Trula at another house, slightly more worried as Dilton answers.)

Dilton: Sorry, Trula, but Jughead is not in the surrounding locality.

(A shot of an angry Moose answering the door as Trula seems embarrassed she came to ask Moose.)

Moose: Duh, do ya think he would stay da afternoon after what he did?!

Trula: No...no...my mistake.

(Moose waves her goodbye as she is obviously bewildered as she goes back to her car parked along the sidewalk. Betty has the window of her side lowered as she looks out. Archie has his hands over his head in the back. Both Archie and Betty are enjoying seeing Trula struggle.)

Moose: But thanks for helping me out days ago.

Trula: Sure...I...I'm just glad I could help.

(Trula enters the driving side of the car as Betty turns to her with a wide smile)

Betty: Any luck? We've been to everyone's house.

(Trula scowls at Betty as Archie straightens himself up in the back.)

Trula: I have twenty minutes left. Until then, be quiet!

(Betty turns away as Trula pulls out onto the street.)

Betty: Someone's losing her cool.

(Caption it is later in the afternoon as they are driving along a street in with several stores and an upcoming movie theater straight ahead. Trula has her head sticking out the window to scan the streets. Betty has a hand out to feel the wind in her palm.)

Betty: Archie, how much longer?

(Archie looks at his watch as Trula looks out the window more frantically.)

Archie: I've got three seconds.

(Betty begins to countdown as Trula despondently begins to pull the car over in front of the movie theater.)

Betty: 3

Archie: 2

Betty and Archie : 1!!! Time's up!

(Betty stops as Trula puts her arms over the steering wheel and buries her head as she begins to cry.)

Betty: Sev—Trula what are you doing?

Trula: Sob Sob

Trula: This is what you two wanted, wasn't it? To see me lose? Everyone wants to see the underdog win (sob sob) it's human...it's human nature...!

(Betty and Archie look at each other slightly guilty at having enjoyed teasing Trula.)

Trula: Sniff Sniff. But no one cares when a dynasty falls! WAAAHHH!

(Betty places a hand on Trula's shoulder to comfort her as Archie looks away out the window.)

Betty: Trula....I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. This was all just a stupid game, I didn't think you would take losing so--


(Trula whams both fists on her steering wheel as Betty backs away after seeing that Trula isn't as sad as she had thought, but she's still concerned. Archie's eyes go wide as he looks out the window.)

Trula: I spent hours on my questions! I would have changed him within a five minutes! Now I'm going to miss a week of Jughead research time! It'll take months to catch up!

Betty: Um, I'm sure you'll manage.

Archie: Jughead!

(Betty and Trula look up.)

Betty and Trula: Jughead?!!

(All three look out the car as several people are coming out of the movie with Jughead, eating a bag of popcorn, and Ethel coming out together. Ethel is fawning over Jughead as Jughead looks at his watch and smiles as he tosses several pieces of popcorn in his mouth.)

Ethel: That movie was so romantic, sweetheart?

Jughead: I don't know about that, but the popcorn could have used more butter.

(Ethel blushes as Jughead rolls taps the glass casing on his watch.)

Ethel: I'm so proud of you. You didn't even say you were using the bathroom to sneak away or get snacks while the movie was on. You stayed right with me like a good boyfriend.

Jughead: Well, when you commit to something...

Ethel: Sigh...

(Jughead notices Trula in her car as Betty and Archie get out. Trula is wiping away tears.)

Jughead: Well, if it isn't my opposition—twenty seconds too late—and eye witnesses to boot.

(Archie is talking with Jughead who standing by Trula's car as Trula stares away.)

Archie: Wait you mean...

Jughead: That's right. I spent two hours watching a sappy romantic movie with Ethel right after school.

(Archie and Betty talk with a victorious Jughead as Trula inhales as she is preparing to accept that she lost.)

Archie: The one other person no one would think you could stand for a minute, much less two hours.

Betty: And watching a rom-com with her.

Jughead: Well desperate times, call for desperate measures.

(Jughead holds up the index fingers on both of his hands.)

Jughead: Sometimes you have to bite one index finger as hard as you can to take your mind off of hitting the other one with a hammer.

(Jughead is looking in Trula's window as Trula listens to him.)

Jughead: Now Trula Twyst, I believe we had a bet.

Trula: We did.

(Trula fakes a smile as her eyes are watery.)

Trula: I lost. Fair and square, and I'll honor our agreement. You won't see one curly hair from me for a week.

(Trula drives away as Jughead turns to Archie and Betty victoriously, celebrating with both hands cupped and waved over his right shoulder. Archie is happy for his friend while Betty is concerned about Trula.)

Jughead: And there we have it! A definitive, absolute, well deserved, long overdue victory! May all the gluttons and the do-nothings in the world rejoice!

Archie: Jughead, you finally ended the streak!

(Betty looks over at Jughead while her body is facing the street as Jughead waves her off. Ethel is running up behind Jughead.)

Betty: Jughead, you're not really going to let her exile herself from human contact, are you?

Jughead: Yes, and I'll be expecting my Nobel Prize within the next two to three days.

(Archie is talking with Jughead as Jughead waves her off.)

Archie: With Trula out of your hair, won't that leave a giant void for something worse to fill?

Jughead: Actually, I plan on filling that void with more eating and napping and maybe a---

(Ethel hugs Jughead as Jughead is startled.)

Ethel: So now what?

HUH

Jughead: Whuh?!

(Ethel has her chin on Jughead's right shoulder as she continues to squeeze him.)

Ethel: Now. We are a steady couple now. What should we do tomorrow? And the next day, and the next??

Jughead: Steady!?! I just asked you if you wanted to—

(Ethel squeezes Jughead so tightly he resembles toothpaste being squeezed form the middle. Ethel turns to Betty and Archie.)

Ethel: Hey, how about a double date!! We could swap stories, talk about favorite movies, favorite books, maybe a romantic restaurant.

Archie: Um, well, that sounds like fun...

(Ethel rubs her face against Jughead's as she picks him off the ground. Jughead has a look of great concern.)

Ethel: I've already had plans written out for our second date, our third, or fourth...and I want some kisses! And hugs every ten minutes!

Ethel: I've wanted this for so long and now we're an official couple! C'mon, let's carve our names in a tree.

Jughead: How about I climb the tree and stay there until you cut it down with a pocket knife?

(Ethel is dragging Jughead away as Archie and Betty laugh at the situation. Jughead's legs have gone wobbling.)

Ethel: Now let's take a walk in the park, and I'll tell you about my entire day!

Jughead: We were at school and I spent the afternoon with you!! What more do I need to know?

Ethel: Relive the magic, my steady boyfriend.

Jughead: You call this steady?!

(We are inside Trula Twyst's room. She is lying on her bed eating popcorn as she watches a movie on a TV set up just in front of her bed. A clock shows that it is four o'clock. Next to Trula is a large notebook with JUGHEAD STUDY written on it.)

Caption: Saturday

Trula: Sigh, I suppose I just have to accept that no matter how sound the research an invariable can enter an environment and ruin everything.

(Trula looks up as her mother is yelling at her from somewhere in the house.)

Trula's mother off-panel: Trula! You have a visitor!

(Jughead suddenly runs into the room and slams the door shut. Trula sits up.)

Trula: Juggers!?

SLAM

(Trula has her arms folded across her chest as she looks away. Jughead has his entire body pressed against the door as if a fiend of some sort was after him.)

Trula: If you've come to check on me, I have kept my word. If you've come to gloat, just keep it brief.

(Jughead begins to move place a nearby chair against the door to keep anyone from opening it. Trula tilts her head in confusion.)

Trula: What are you doing?

(Jughead closes Trula's window.)

Jughead: I'm playing a new game of hide 'n' seek and this will be the absolute last place she'd ever look!

Trula:  What new game? Who are you talking about?

(Outside walking along Trula's street is Ethel, with her hands cupped over her mouth, like a makeshift microphone, as she shouts. Several people walking dogs or raking their yards look over at her, perplexed. From Trula's house we can see Jughead's nose just peeking out the window.

Ethel: JUGGIE! I want my steady-weady boyfriend to walk me home, and I'll search all over Riverdale until I find you!!

(Jughead is diving under Trula's bed as Trula happily picks up her Jughead study and begins to jot down notes.)

Jughead: You haven't seen me, you don't know me.

Trula: Well, to the winner go the spoils.

THE END.

 Jughead: Hide 'N' Seek

(Jughead is running down the hall, turning a corner as Betty and Archie try and keep up. Betty and Archie have back packs while Jughead is empty handed.)

Betty: I've haven't seen Juggie move this fast since...lunch.

Archie: Why the hurry, Jughead?

Jughead: I'll explain on the way to your car! I already lost time when I couldn't find my locker key!

(Jughead turns to look back as a shadow is being cast from the next hall.)

Archie: (huff puff) Explain while we still have breath...!

Jughead: To avoid the bane of my existence, my arch enemy...

(Jughead turns the corner as he is face to face with Trula Twyst who has a smile on her face.)

Jughead: Trula Twyst?!!

Trula Twyst: Juggers, my ears are burning.

(Jughead waits for a huffing and puffing Betty and Archie as he talks with Trula who has her eyes closed and her hands behind her back.)

Archie: Huff huff. If Trula, doesn't become a psychologist when she graduates...

Betty: ...Then she should be a magician since she pops up from no where.

Jughead: Nope. She only pops up where she's not wanted. Being any place that I am.

(Jughead is talking with Trula as Trula opens her eyes.)

Jughead: Okay, how did you know that—

Trula: -"-I would take the back halls instead of the usual entrance by to the side closer to Archie's car?"

(Trula points at Jughead's head as Jughead moves his eyes to look up at her finger.)

Trula: Well, I could go into detail about noticing a change in your normal habits, your eye movements towards this hall when going to third period...

Trula: ..But I'll try and salvage your ego by just saying: Lucky guess.

Jughead: GRRRR

(Archie is whispering to Betty. Betty looks displeased.)

Archie whispering:  Hate to say it, Betty, but I think Jughead's met his match.

(Jughead looks over at Archie.)

Jughead: Hey! I don't like anyway that sentence could mean.

(We see Trula brushing her hair back over Jughead's shoulder as he turns his eyes towards her.)

Trula: Face it, Juggers. The win-loss record is as one sided as could be.

Jughead: Grrrr

(Jughead turns around and points at his head as Trula tilts her head in curiosity.)

Jughead: If you think you know me from brain stem to stern, own me from my hat to my t-shirt, then why don't you prove it?

Trula: Go on...

(Betty is talking with Archie who is apprehensive on how Jughead is talking.)

Betty: What's Jughead thinking?

Archie: He's not. Trula gets under his skin so bad; he forgets how to chew food. No telling what he's getting himself into.

(Jughead is standing right in from of Trula and spreads his arms.)

Jughead: A game of hide 'n' seek. For the next four days, I have thirty minutes to hide anywhere in Riverdale and you have two hours to find me.

(Jughead smiles as Trula seems to be thinking it over. Behind Jughead, Archie and Betty are talking to one another as they watch intently.)

Jughead: And if I win, you leave me alone for a week. School you avoid me like the plague and after school you retreat straight home to your darkened lair.

Betty: Wow. That's a real challenge for Trula.

Archie: Yeah. The ultimate test of her Jughead expertise.

(Trula moves has her right hand over her mouth and taps her left face cheek with her index finger as she considers.)

Trula: And if I win...?

Jughead: Name it.

(Trula has a wily look as Jughead looks sternly at her.)

Trula: I want two hours of questions and answers. I ask questions, and you answer them. Any question I might have. No zings, no backpedaling. Straight forward replies only.

(Archie places a hand on Jughead's shoulder, trying to talk sense into him.)

Archie: Don't do it, Jug! She knows you inside and out. You lose, you give her every other which way.

(Jughead pulls his shoulder away from Archie's hand.)

Jughead: Forsythe "Jughead" Jones, the third may lie down, but he never backs down!

Trula: Then you won't mind one last condition.

(Jughead eyes her suspiciously.)

Jughead: What's that...?

(Trula closes her eyes as she holds out her palms while shrugging her shoulders.)

Trula: If you get a thirty minute head start and I have to fail just once for you to win, then you must find a hiding spot and stay there.

(Trula uses two fingers on her left hand to illustrate someone running.)

It wouldn't be fair for you to just run away when I'm in eyesight. It's "Hide" 'N' "Seek", not "Tag" that you're proposing.

(Trula extends her hand for Jughead to shake as Jughead brushes his hand over his mouth as he thinks. Archie and Betty are silently waving their arms and shaking their heads. )

Trula: Agreed?

(Jughead shakes her hand as they both lock eyes. Archie and Betty have defeated and disappointed body language. Archie facepalms as Betty bends over as if all the life was let out of her like air in a balloon.)

Jughead: Agreed!

(Trula breaks her glance and looks up at Jughead's hat.)

Jughead: What are you looking at?

Trula: Oh, I was thinking...

(Trula reaches inside of Jughead's hat.)

Jughead: Hey!

Trula: You were late to this rendezvous and you have no text books in your hands, since you don't carry a backpack...

(Trula pulls out Jughead's locker key.)

Trula: There it is. Your locker key you obviously misplaced.

Jughead: !!!

(Trula walks away as she casually tosses the key to Jughead over her shoulder as he catches it with both hands. A nervous Archie and Betty look on.)

Trula: The places you find things, right?

(Archie stands to Jughead's right, while Betty stands to his left. Jughead has a confused look on his face as his hat is now out of positioned.)

Archie: Jug, I think you might just want to surrender now.

Betty: Yeah, she's just too devious and cunning.

(Jughead steps forward and raises his fist in the air as he makes a pledge. Archie looks on with admiration as Betty shakes her head.)

Jughead: Never!

Jughead: I swear on Miss Beazley's chocolate soup sandwiches, that I shall defeat Trula Twyst and prove once and for all that no woman could ever grasp the depth recesses of Jughead Jones!!

Betty: Oh brother...

(Archie is talking with Jughead as Betty is walking away. Jughead has a smirk from ear to ear and grinds his hands as he has a master plan.)

Archie: So any ideas? I think you agreeing to be in one place has sunk you.

Jughead: Yeah, but who said my one place couldn't go up and about?

Archie: ?!

(It's the next day as Archie is in his car pulled up by the track field as he is watching the cheerleaders (Betty, Veronica, Nancy, Midge, and others begin practice.) Trula Twist with her backpack over her shoulder is walking towards the car from the sidewalk.)

Caption: Tuesday

Archie: Cheerleading practice already? I've got to thank whoever put that poster in my locker.

(Trula Twyst places a hand on Archie's shoulder as he looks on alarmed.)

Trula Twyst: Excuse me, Archie?

Archie: !!!

(Archie looks over at Trula who waves her hand as she has her eyes closed and has a fake smile on her face.)

Archie: Hey, I'm not going to tell you where—

Trula: No, no. I've just given up. When you see Jughead, I want you to tell him that.

(Archie eyes Trula as Trula seems to have a disappointed look on her face.)

Archie: Really?

Trula: Afraid so, I'm just at a lost. Stubbed my toe over the starting line as it were.

(Trula begins to act like her backpack is straining her as she looks at Archie with puppy dog eyes as Archie goes into a dream like state with a smile on his face.)

Trula: Maybe you could take me home? So I could begin my exile?  I would walk, but this backpack is so awfully heavy.

(Archie points over to the passenger side.)

Archie: No problem! I would never leave a lady in need.

Trula: My, a gentleman indeed.

(Trula bends down at Archie with a finger on her lip as she tries to seduce Archie. Archie has hearts around his head.)

Trula: Thank you. Now, could you open your trunk? I wouldn't want my backpack to scrap the leather seats of your vehicle.

(Archie opens the trunk door with a switch as Trula swings her backpack over her shoulder like it weighs nothing and merrily walks to the trunk.)

(We see Trula looking at Jughead as he is eating a candy bar. Jughead is flabbergasted.)

Jughead: !!!

Trula: One day down, three more to go.

(Trula throws her backpack in the trunk and slams the lid.)

THUD

Jughead: OW!

SLAM

Jughead: Another OW!

(Trula gets in the passenger seat and begins to put on lipstick as Archie watches her with heart shaped eyes as he drives.)

(They are driving on a new street as Trula smacks her lips as Archie continues to stare at her with heart shaped eyes)


(It is another street as Trula uses the passenger window to adjust her hair. Archie is still looking on in a glaze)

(They are in front of Trula's house as she smacks her lips. Archie still looks on with the heart shaped eyes.)

Trula: Thank you, Archie. You are a true gentleman.

Archie: Sure...

(Trula walks around the car as Archie has his arms over the steering wheel as he has a far away look on his face.)

(Trula taps on the trunk.)

Tap Tap

(The trunk door opens.)

(Trula extends her hands to her waist.)

(Her backpack zooms out of the trunk towards her head, but Trula catches it easily.)

(Trula goes to her house as Jughead staggers out of the trunk.)

(Jughead opens the passenger door and begins to sit down as he has a frustrated look on his face.)

(Jughead stares at Archie who is out of his trance and just notices him.)

(Jughead slumps in the seat as Archie has an apologetic look as he has a smile turned entirely to his right with wide apologetic eyes)

Archie: Sorry.

(Jughead has his left eye squinted and his right eye looking upward .)

Jughead: Okay, if a mobile hiding spot won't work, then I'll just go with a place she can't enter.

(Trula Twyst is walking into Pop Tate's. Pop Tate is at the counter cleaning a glass as he seems worried to see her.)

Caption: WEDNESDAY

Trula Twyst: My, I certainly could go for something sweet today.

(Trula begins to sit down at Jughead's seat. Pop Tate is trying to avoid eye contact.)

Trula: A banana split, please, Pop.

Pop Tate: Um...sure. Just a second...

(Trula begins to adjust herself on the stool as Pop Tate has the sliced banana in the ice cream dish along with the ice cream. Pop Tate eyes her nervously.)

Trula: Pop, was Jughead here?

Pop: Jughead? Our Jughead? Nope. Haven't seen the tip of his hat to the bottom of his sneakers all this afternoon.

Trula: Just like his money in your open palm.

(Trula talks as Pop becomes shocked and drops his ice cream scooper.)

Trula: But I thought you might have because this seat is warm, like someone just sat in it. I just thought that since today was your Wednesday special, Jughead couldn't help himself for a quick bite.

CLANG

(Pop Tate picks up the ice cream scoop and puts it in the sink.)

Pop Tate: Nope

(Pop Tate turns to notice Trula Twyst staring at him keenly, like she is trying to look past him.)

Pop Tate: Um, Trula, is something---something wrong?

(Pop Tate cautiously, like a timid lion tamer feeding a lion places her banana split in front of her, as Trula simply smiles and waves off the question. Pop Tate is sweating heavily.)

Trula: Oh, I'm quite content. But you seem tense. Anxiety, perhaps? I can help with that.

Pop Tate: Oh, well, I also fix hamburgers and onion rings over a deep fry. It gets hot. That's all this is

(Pop slides a spoon to Trula as Trula snatches it with her right hand.)

Trula: Of course. That must be it.

(Trula turns her stool around as she holds the spoon up to her eyes as she begins to brush her hair back. Pop Tate is tacking out a handkerchief as he nervously wipes sweat from his brow.)

Trula: Shame about Jughead. I was looking for him.

(Trula uses the spoon to see Pop's reflection from the corner to see him looking to his right.)

Trula: Yes, I'd hoped to find him here.

(Trula looks over to the men and ladies' rest rooms.)

Trula: Hm, but it would seem I just can't get to him now.

Pop Tate: So...so it seems, Trula.

(Trula looks over to see Midge and Moose sitting near a window as they enjoy one another's company.)

(Trula slides the banana split back as she walks towards them as Pop looks on.)

Pop: You haven't touched a bite.

Trula: Oh, I won't be but a moment.

(Trula is standing over Moose and Midge.)

Trula: Hello.

Midge: Trula.

Moose: Duh, is there something I can help you with?

(Trula talking to Moose as she tries to act innocent. Moose is becoming angry as he reflects.)

Trula: Moose, remember how you bought Midge those expensive chocolates last week and when you came back to your locker they were all gone?

Moose: Duh, yeah. They were a gift for our anniversary when we first met.

(Trula begins to walk away as Moose becomes enraged to the point he is snorting flames.)

Trula: Jughead took them.

Moose: WHAT?!!

Midge: Now, Moose, don't cause a scene...

(Moose kicks open the men's bathroom door.)

Moose: I thought Jughead was sick 'er' something since he was in here so long, but he was tryin' to avoid me!

PUNT

(Trula nonchalantly sits back in Jughead's seat and begins adjust as slice of banana to align with the other slices with her spoon. Midge, Pop Tate, and everyone else eating looks to their right in horror.)

OCCUPIED MOOSE! OCCUPIED!!!

DUH THE ONLY OCCUPYING HERE WILL BE MY FIST IN YOUR MOUTH!!!

(Midge has her hands over her ears and several people run out. Trula simply takes a moment and seems to be savoring the sounds)

POW WHAM ZAP CRRRKACCCKKK

(Trula adjusts the scoops on the banana split ever so slightly.)

(Trula moves over a seat to her left as Moose and Midge leave.)

(A severely battered Jughead with his clothes torn, his face bruised and his hat shoved around his neck walks towards his seat.)

(Jughead sits down at his seat as Trula, without looking his way, hands him her spoon.)

Trula: There you are.

Jughead: Yeah, yeah...


THE SWEET TASTE OF ICE CREAM CANNOT TAKE AWAY THE SOUR DEFEAT IN OUR HERO'S THROAT

TWO DAYS GONE, TWO TO GO!

Quote from: GingerGal on April 22, 2016, 09:03:10 PM
These Fanfics are great. You must be very creative. How long does it take for you to come up with an idea and then get it complete?

Well, this is an old one. A lot of them I did when I was staying up all night with my mom or just because I had no money so I had to entertain myself. Like this one is based on It's a Wonderful Life. Thought it would be fun.

Normally, it's idea, frame it out in my head, write the first page, write the last, middle. Longer ones I map out more.

Part III

(Jughead is backing away from Francis.)

Jughead: Okay, I don't know how you got there or who you are—

(Francis jumps down from the beam.)

Francis: Where are my manners?

(Francis extends his hand for Jughead to shake as Jughead eyes him suspiciously.)

Francis: Name's Francis. And you're Jughead Jones. Now that we got the pleasantries out of the way...

(Jughead begins to walk off the bridge as he turns his head back to Francis.)

Jughead: ...I'll be going mine.

Jughead: I don't know who you are fella, but I'm sure you can find someone else to bother.

(Jughead turns his head forward to see Francis leaning against the bridge and looking at two children playing in the snow.)

Francis: Well, I seem to be doing just fine with you, so why ruin a good thing?

Jughead: How did you do that?

(Jughead is talking as they walk on the path of the park. Francis is pointing towards one of the children as he is making a snow angel.)

Jughead: Are you a magician?

Francis: Well, if you really want to know, my self portrait is just about finished.

(Jughead walks over to the children as the kid stands up and runs off with the other.)

Jughead: Huh?

(Jughead eyes widen as he sees the snow angel.)

Jughead: !!

(Jughead turns back towards Francis with his face twisted in disbelief.)

Jughead: Yeah. Right. If you're an angel, where are your wings? At the dry cleaners?

(Francis extends his arms as Jughead rolls his eyes.)

Francis: Oh that. See, angels really don't have wings. We just flap our arms really fast.

Jughead: ...

(Jughead walks away from Francis as Francis follows him with his eyes.)

Jughead: Am I having one horrible Christmas ever!

Francis: I don't see how anyone can have a horrible Christmas. It's a wonderful day.

(Francis is standing over the snow angel looking down at it as Jughead gloomily walks away.)

Jughead: I realize that everyone is happier without me around and now some crazy guy making bad jokes wants to be my shadow.

Jughead: Well no thanks. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or however you "angels" like it.

Francis: Well, either way is showing you wishing me good tidings...

(Jughead stops as Francis's demeanor changes from playful and witty to stern.)

Francis: Now, about not being born...

(Jughead turns around as Francis looks up slightly from staring at the snow angel. Jughead throws his arms in the air as he is tired of dealing with Francis.)

Jughead: Okay! Deal! You just go ahead and make me disappear.

Francis: Fine. There.

(Jughead looks at himself.)

(Jughead looks around the park as nothing seemingly has changed.)

(Jughead walks away smugly as Francis goes back to staring at the snow angel.)

Jughead: Well, looks like you need to flap your arms to work your magic, too.

Francis: You not being around doesn't increase global warming, and I said you wouldn't be born, not disappear.

Jughead: Hey, sure. Whatever works for you.

(Francis is beginning to walk away as the children, each one holding their mother's arm, towards the snow angel.)

Francis: Well, looks like the educational part of our programming is just about ready to start...

Kid one: Mommy, mommy! Look at my snow angel.

Kid two: It's real good.

(A close up on the shocked facial expressions of the kids and the mother as they are taken back by what they see.)

Mom: I'm sure you did just—

(The kids and mom look at the snow angel as it has now changed into a detailed rendition of Francis only with his angel wings. The kid who made the snow angel points at it happily as the other kid and mom are still in shock.)

Kid one: Wow! It's even better after it sets for a minute, huh?

Mom: !!!

(Jughead is walking down a street as he has his hands in his pocket as people are going in and out of buildings or going their own way with several bags of various clothes, gifts, ect.)

Jughead: Can believe that guy? Yep. I sure don't exist.

(Jughead looks into a jewelry window at his reflection and begins to make faces.)

(Jughead stops as he sees Archie and Veronica inside. They are both wearing different clothes than before. Archie is wearing a horrible ugly sweater and Veronica is even dressed more uppity than usual, she is even wearing a mink coat. Archie is struggling as he is carrying a stack of gifts. Veronica is at a counter buying a diamond and gold necklace.)

Jughead: Well, well. Looks like the Christmas festivities are over and Veronica is wrapping Archie around her claw again.

(Archie and Veronica are coming out. Veronica leads the way as she sticks her nose in the air and Archie struggles to keep the gifts from falling.)

Jughead: I'll just have to put a stop to that.

Veronica: Would you hurry up? We have five more shops to go, The Pembrooke mall, and you have to escort me to Daddykin's Christmas Party.

Archie: Sure thing Veronica...

(Jughead slaps Archie across his back. Archie is startled and confused as he drops the gifts on the snow covered sidewalk. Veronica turns around as she hears the startled Archie)

Jughead: Arch, how many times have I told you that Ronnie has servants for hard labor. Let's forgive and forget and you treat me to a burger.

Archie: Wha--?

(Veronica is yelling at Archie as Archie is trying to pick up the scattered gifts. Archie uses his free hand to point at a confused Jughead.)

Veronica: You freckled klutz! How dare you drop my valuables? I don't know why I keep you around as my boyfriend.

Archie: But, Veronica, that guy with the weird hat startled me and now he wants me to take him home and have my dad feed him or something...

(Veronica is stomping towards Jughead as Jughead looks perplexed and notices Archie's ugly sweater.)

Jughead: Hey, if you don't know that sweater is something not to be seen in public, that might explain why you don't know your bestest bud in the entire universe.

(Veronica grabs Jughead by his nose and pulls him so they are eye to eye.)

GRAB

Veronica: Understand this, commoner, my Daddykins may make me attend the doldrums that is public school, but I will most certainly not tolerate you peasants in public.

Jughead: Yow!

(Veronica throws Jughead to the ground at her feet.)

THUD

Jughead: OW!

Veronica: That's your place, now stay there!

(Veronica walks across Jughead as she sticks her nose in the air and motion with her right hand for Archie to follow. Archie has the gifts stacked up again—all be it extremely wobbly—as he follows after Veronica.)

Veronica: Archiekins, I'm walking ahead of you, I expect you to keep at last one yard behind me.

Archie: Right! Right! Coming!

Jughead: !!!

(Archie is walking around Jughead as Jughead is holding his nose. A pair of boots is walking towards the fallen Jughead.)

Jughead: Sheesh! Ronnie's had bad days before, but that was World War Three.

Person: Yeah. It's like she's a totally different person.

(Jughead is being helped to his feet by Francis.)

Jughead: Oh just wait I need.

Francis: A helping hand, indeed you do.

(Jughead dusts the snow and muck off of him as Francis looks on.)

Jughead: I don't get what got into Archie. I mean, yeah, he's whipped, but he wouldn't stand for Veronica literally walking all over me.

Francis: Maybe if he had ever met you and got to know you, but he didn't.

(Jughead waves off Francis and begins to walk away as Mrs. Grundy is walking towards them. She is carrying a small bag  and her purse.)

Jughead: Okay, I'm putting an end to that talk right here and now.

(Jughead steps in front of Miss Grundy as Miss Grundy is startled Francis leans against the jewelry store window as he seems amused by what he is seeing.)

Jughead: Miss Grundy, Merry Christmas!

Miss Grundy: Oh!

(Miss Grundy walks past Jughead as Jughead is puzzled. Francis is acting like he is looking at his manicure.)

Jughead: ?!!

(Jughead leaps in front of Miss Grundy.)

Jughead: Miss Grundy, it's me, Jughead!

Miss Grundy: Son, I'm sorry, but I can't place your face...are you new in town?

(Jughead becomes frantic as he yells at Miss Grundy and points to Francis. Miss Grundy looks where Jughead is pointing but acts as if nothing is there. Francis motions hello by raising one hand to his face.)

Jughead: It's me! Jughead! Forsythe Jones! You've been teaching me since kindergarten! Did you and the gang hire that guy to play a gag on me?

Miss Grundy: Child, I haven't seen you until today and...who are you talking about? There's no one there but your reflection.

(Miss Grundy walks away as Jughead looks back at Francis who has his hands on the back of his head as he leans his head back towards the window.)

Miss Grundy: I'm sorry, but I have Christmas shopping to get back to. If you need help or—

Jughead: No...no. I guess...you reminded me of someone....

(Jughead walks back over to Francis as Francis pushes himself off against the window.)

Jughead: Okay, how did you do that?

Francis: I'm an angel. I can do a lot of nifty things. Like make myself invisible to all but you...or pluck you out of existence at any given point in time like you pick anchovies out of a pizza.

(Jughead is beginning to talk as he looks over Francis' shoulders.)

Jughead: I don't know where the mirrors are or if you hypnotized people or—

(Jughead's hat flies straight up in the air and he leaves his feet as he is deeply shocked at seeing Francis' reflection from behind as his wings is visible in the reflection and only the reflection.)

Francis: I take it you've taken notice to the glass window. A glass window, not a mirror.

(Jughead is sitting on the ground as Francis bends down and smiles at him. Jughead nervously looks at Francis.)

Francis: Convinced?

Jughead: yep.

(Jughead is getting back to his feet as Francis steps away from the glass window and towards Jughead.)

Jughead: So, what you were saying before—about making it so that I never existed...

Francis: Yes, it's true.

(Francis is talking with Jughead as Jughead has a worried expression as he rubs his hand through the back of his head.)

Francis: You were never born, you never came to be, you were never imagined, you were never thought of, and no one on this planet now wears that hat. There's not a single person who goes by the name, title, rank, serial number, or alias of Jughead Jones.

(Jughead and Francis begin to walk up the street. Several people look confused and stare at Jughead as they are wondering who he is talking to.)

Jughead: So...how am I here talking with you?

Francis: I thought you might want to see how you friends and family are doing without you. I mean, that's why you made that wish?

(Jughead is talking as himself and Francis pass a window and only Jughead's reflection is being shown.)

Jughead: What ever happened to my wish of eating the biggest pizza ever?

Francis: Sorry, but we don't have a wide range of selection. Just angel food.

(Jughead begins to notice people staring at him and realizing everyone is thinking he's a loon. Francis rolls his eyes in mock disbelief)

Jughead: Um, Francis, is there any way you can make me invisible, too? I mean, it's supposed to be me not being born...and people are giving me funny looks.

Francis: You just want to burn your shadow away, don't you?

(Francis snaps his fingers as the passerbys wonder where Jughead suddenly disappeared to. Jughead begins to look himself over.)

SNAP

Francis: There.

Jughead: Huh.

(Francis and Jughead begin to talk as a girl walks towards them. The girl is very tall and is wearing an overly large coat with the hood up. She has a scarf that covers her lower face.)

Jughead: So, what's up with Archie and Ron?

Francis: You were never around to be Archie's best friend or to keep that roving eye of his off girls. And with Veronica, you were never around to challenge her and teach her humility with your cynical remarks and stopping her when she got to demanding.

(Jughead moves out the way of the girl's way as she hurries along.)

Francis: As it stands, Archie will do anything for Veronica and Veronica has become the biggest stuck up princess in Riverdale.

Jughead: I don't see much change with or without me.

(Francis points backwards towards the tall girl as Jughead turns back confused.)

Francis: Quite the opposite of Ethel Muggs.

Jughead: Ethel? The girl who just past by?

(Francis and Jughead look at Ethel as he hurries along and keeps her hands at her hood to make sure it doesn't slip off.)

Jughead: I know it's winter and all, but she's nearly an Eskimo.

Francis: Without you, she never gained self esteem in her looks. Now, she doesn't even want anyone to look at her in case they laugh at her.

(Jughead looks on sadly.)

Jughead: Wow. I never knew that...

(Jughead looks over at Francis who shrugs his shoulders.)

Jughead: Hey! Hold up! How did she ever consider how I treat her as a confident booster?

Francis: I'm an angel, not the all-knowing.

(Jughead and Francis continue to walk along in Riverdale and are at a shopping district. Pulling up near the sidewalk and in front of a fire hydrant is Reggie in his car. Reggie has longer hair and it is all slicked back)

Jughead: I hated to see how Reggie is.

Francis: Speaking of...

(Reggie splashes several people as he parks in front of the fire hydrant.)

SPLASSSHH

Reggie: Hah! I bet you guys weren't thinking of a wet Christmas!

(Jughead and Francis look on disdainfully as Reggie begins beeping his horn as he is combing his slick hair. The people he got wet angry walk away.)

Jughead: He's actually a bigger creep.

Francis: You were the only one who ever put him in his place. Without you stopping him, his pranks get bigger, his ego got larger and--

Reggie: C'mon! I gave you five minutes!! You spend the rest of your time with R-Man!

(Francis continues to talk as Betty runs out the store with a small bag.)

Francis: Yeah, he's a bigger creep.

Betty: I'm coming, I'm coming!

Jughead: Betty!!?

(Francis and Jughead walk towards Betty and Reggie. Betty is looking at the fire hydrant as Reggie doesn't seem to care.)

Betty: Reggie, you're not supposed to park in front of a fire hydrant. What if there was a fire.

Reggie: Babe, the only thing hot around here is me.

(Betty gets into the car as Reggie loans over to her and puts his right hand around her shoulder as she is uncomfortable. Jughead is angry as he talks with Francis)

Jughead: How can Betty just take that arrogant jerk? I mean, she was always nice, but she also stood up for herself.

Francis: Well, you know how Betty can be around Veronica when she feels insecure. You used to help her by standing up for her or pushing her. You weren't here. So she lost Archie to Veronica straight out and is stuck with Mr. Personality here.

(Reggie begins to talk as he pulls out with one hand. Betty looks sadly out her window and coincidentally at Jughead who looks on sadly.)

Reggie: Maybe I can run into my best bud/ favorite tool Archie and maybe get a look at Ronnie and whatever fine dress I know she's wearing.

Betty: Sigh.

(Jughead is shaking with rage as he has his back to Francis who calmly talks to him.)

Francis: So what do you think of this Brave New World?

(Jughead turns to Francis and points a finger at him.)

Jughead: I think you're worse than all three ghosts of Christmas combined and squared!

(Francis begins to walk and motions for Jughead to follow as Jughead looks away guiltily.)

Francis: Don't blame me. This is all your doing.

Jughead: Don't remind me...

(Jughead and Francis pass a coffee shop. Inside we can see Trula Twyst reading a book.)

(Jughead stops as he begins to shiver as Francis notices his reaction.)

Francis: So it's all hitting you at once.

Jughead: No. This involuntary reaction to an evil presence I've had since the first moment I met...

(Jughead jumps back towards Francis as he notices Trula Twyst in the coffee shop.)

Jughead: TRULA TWYST!!

Francis: Relax. She can't see you and you don't exist.

(Trula suddenly looks up as if she sees something. This causes both Jughead and Francis to jump back a step.)

Jughead and Francis: ?!!

(Trula goes back to reading her book as Jughead has his hand over his heart and Francis is feeling his left arm over.)

Francis: Wow. She actually gave me goosebumps.

Jughead: Hey, you be that psychopath's lab rat and goosebumps are a good day.

(Jughead looks back at Trula Twyst with a smirk. Francis rolls up his sleeves as he casually answers Jughead.)

Jughead: So who's the poor sap she's trying to wrap her claws around now that "Juggers" isn't around?

Francis: No one. She doesn't talk, interact, or have a friend in the world. She's just about as invisible as you and me.

(Jughead turns to Francis.)

Jughead: Oh c'mon! I don't believe that.

Francis: Apparently her main interest has been you and without that to motivate her to get out and meet people...

(Francis walks away as Jughead shows fake bravado.)

Francis: ...well, she's existing, but not living. I can't think of much else worse than that.

Jughead: Yeah, well, when you're social network consists of surveying people all about me and using that info to break me down, then maybe she—

(Jughead looks back at the window as Trula Twyst looks at a boyfriend and a girlfriend talking and enjoying each others company.)

(Trula Twyst begins to cry as Jughead looks on greatly troubled. We can see the book  she was reading is titled: HOW TO MAKE CONNECTIONS)

(Francis is waiting up for Jughead to catch up. Jughead is slowly catching up as he looks back.)

Francis: You were saying something?

Jughead: I—I was just thinking how all of this walking has worked up my appetite.

(Jughead is walking along side Francis as they are on the street leading to Chocklit Shoppe. Jughead cheers up.)

Jughead: And hey! We're almost at my home away from home!

(Jughead begins to run ahead as he salivates. Francis tries to call him back, but Jughead runs ahead.)

Jughead: Pop Tate's Chocklit Shoppe is right around this corner!

Francis: Um, you might not want to rush into things right now—

(Jughead looks back at Francis as he turns the street corner.)

Jughead: Hey, I might be invisible and not exist, but Pop Tate's Chocolate malt is as plain as the nose on me—

(Jughead has an expression of sheer horror as he looks ahead.)

Jughead: !!!

(Jughead is beginning to fall on to his knees as Francis approaches him._

Jughead: You maniacs. You did it! You actually did it!!

(Jughead is on his knees as he has his fist raised to the sky and his head titled upward as he screams. Jughead is in front of a closed down, badly battered by weather and old age Chocklit Shoppe. Garbage is all around the Shoppe. The windows of the Shoppe are cracked or broken and the door is boarded up.)

Jughead: BLAST YOU! BLAST YOU ALL TO BLAZES!!!

(Francis is beside Jughead as a grief ridden Jughead sobs.)

Jughead: My no service must have lead to this horrible tragedy.

Francis: What are you talking about? You never paid and if I ever turned paper to stone and cement, I could build an actual stairway to heaven with your IOUs

(Jughead turns sadly to Francis as Francis seems sorry for what he said.)

Jughead: Sniff Sniff

Francis: Don't be like that. Allow me to quote a local philosopher: "The sun comes up, the sun comes down. Nothing's ever different.

(Jughead begins to run away as Francis looks on.)

Jughead: I can't—I can't take anymore! This is a nightmare! A nightmare!

Francis: Sheesh. One step forward, two steps back and a hop and skip to the side.

(Francis looks up and smiles.)

Caption: Francis, not to pry, but I think you might want to be more direct with the life lesson or you might just—

Francis: Hey, this kid is a hard nut to crack. Don't worry, from what you've told about him, I think after this next bit he'll understand it all perfectly.

(Jughead is running along his street towards his home.)

Jughead: I can't believe this! I mean, my friends...my archenemy...Pop Tate's! What else can there be!?

(Jughead stops to where his house is only to find a much larger house, more extravagant house decorated for Christmas. Even the mail box is fancier and has "Jones" written on it.)

Jughead: Is this my home?! It looks completely different.

(Francis is suddenly behind Jughead as Jughead is surprised.)

Francis: Want me to fill you in?

Jughead: !!!

(Jughead adjusts his hat as he sneers at Francis as Francis shrugs his shoulder.)

Jughead: Someone should put a bell on you.

(Francis begins to talk as Jughead and Francis walk to the door.)

Jughead: How did my parents afford this house?

Francis: You were never their son, so they had plenty of money when you take out your snacks, your grocery lists, pizza delivery—

(Jughead motions with one hand for Francis to be quiet as he opens the door.)

Jughead: I get it, I get it!

(Jughead begins to go inside.)

Jughead: And thanks for conforming how much better off my parents are without me! Able to afford a nice home and—

(Jughead and Francis are in the living room as it is empty. A Christmas tree is in the corner, but not gifts and stockings are left unfilled. I looks like no one has been home for days.)

Jughead: --Not being here on Christmas.

(Jughead turns to Francis and motions with both hands.)

Jughead: Where is everyone? It's Christmas.

Francis: Before I was rudely interrupted...

(Francis is talking as Jughead begins to look at the ground.)

Francis: Your parents never had kids, so your mom never stayed home to raise you and stayed at her old/current job. Your dad got promoted and is out of town, and your mom is as dedicated to her job as she was to raising you and...

(Francis eyes Jughead as Jughead is lifting up the sofa cushion.)

Francis: I'm sorry. Is my elucidation boring you?

(Jughead is scratching his head as he looks confused.)

Jughead: I can listen and look for Hot Dog's food bowl and dog treats. I mean, if my parents are away then they must have someone looking on him to—

(Francis is explaining to Jughead as he Francis is the most serious he has ever been.)

Francis: Hot Dog was your dog.

Jughead: He's the family dog! Even without me, there's Pops, Mom, and Jelly—

(Jughead has a look of fright as his eyes begin to water up.)

(Jughead rushes upstairs frantically as Francis looks on patiently with great concern.)

Jughead: Jellybean! Jellybean!!

(Jughead runs to where Jellybean's room is. It is not decorated and is just a plain door.)

Jughead: C'mon! I know you're at my Aunt Louise while my parents are away! I know that when I open this door I'll—

(Jughead opens the door to see a work office and Francis in the middle of the room.)

Francis: You're father's work office.

(Jughead slides down against the wall until he is sitting on the floor. Jughead is in deep shock and a tear is rolling down his left cheek. Francis is beginning to sit next to him.)

Francis: Your parents loved you. They loved being parents. They wanted to have another child, and they wanted you have a sibling.

(Jughead is looking straight ahead as he tilts his head up to try and hold back his tears. Francis is sitting down beside him is also looking straight ahead.)

Jughead: I get it. No me. No Jellybean.

(Jughead turns to Francis.)

Jughead: I guess I mattered a lot to my friends, family, and community. And I guess you could say that about anyone.

Francis: You could.

(Jughead tilts his head downward as he shamefully thinks about how he had been acting.)

Jughead: And I must have really screwed up both ways if you had to come down, huh?

Francis: Well, we're always here, but yeah. With you I had to be a tad more direct and creative.

(Jughead begins to feebly smile at Francis.)

Jughead: I didn't really appreciate that. Even on Christmas Eve, I just went though the motions.

Jughead: And that's the one day I should. I mean, every one else did with being together, offering gifts, being friendly...

(Francis claps his hands and begins to stand up.)

CLAP

Francis: And you got it!

Jughead: ??

(Francis is talking with Jughead as Jughead begins to stand up.)

Francis:  Everyone is important to someone. Everyone you make your friend, your archenemy or favorite food pad becomes part of your string and it all gets woven into a much larger tapestry.

(Francis smiles at Jughead who is listening intensely.)

Francis: And there's this one certain day when you should really look at that tapestry and come to appreciate that day for all you give people and all the people you have ever know have given to you.

(Francis elbows Jughead who looks away as he smiles sheepishly.)

Francis: Some gifts don't involve fancy wrappings...

Jughead: I...t's what we do for other people.

(Francis begins to walk out of the room as Jughead calls him back.)

Francis: Can't say it any better, so I'll just be on my way.

Jughead: Wait!

(Francis playfully rolls his eyes towards Jughead as he doesn't turn his body. Jughead is has his hands behind his back and the top of his left shoe on his right heel as he desperately, but nervously wants to make a request.)

Francis: Something else?

Jughead: Well, I was thinking...you know, I know how good my life was and I did learn my lesson so...

(Francis is at the door frame and Jughead closes his eyes tightly.)

Francis: Close your eyes.

(Jughead opens them.)

(Jughead looks around to see that is in the park.)

Jughead: ...

(Jughead shouts in joy as he startles everyone in the park.)

Jughead: I'M BACK! IT'S CHRISTMAS! IT'S MY RIVERDALE FILLED WITH THE  FRIENDS, PLACES, AND FAMILY I LOVE!!!

(Jughead runs out of Riverdale Park as people look on.)

Jughead: Merry Christmas, Pickens Park.

(Jughead is running past Riverdale High.)

Jughead: Merry Christmas, Riverdale High!

(Jughead is running past the Main Riverdale Library.)

Jughead: Merry Christmas, Main Riverdale Library!

(Jughead is running along The Local Riverdale Library.)

Jughead: Merry—

(Jughead stops as he scratches his head at having a Main and Local library.)

(Jughead yells at the Local Riverdale Library.)

Jughead: I don't know why you're here, but you're part of Riverdale, so Merry Christmas, Local Riverdale Library!

(Jughead is at The Chocklit Shoppe and opens the door wide open as everyone is eating and talking with one another at the Christmas party. Trula Twyst has her gift, Ethel is in the room just under the Christmas Tree, Reggie is standing around, and Archie is with Betty and Veronica near the tree.)

Jughead: My beloved friends! I cherish you more than a double decker Big Pop!!

(Jughead runs up to Reggie as Reggie has one brow raised and his left lip curled as he is confused.)

Jughead: Reggie! Are you still the same arrogant jerk you have always been?

Reggie: Um, I guess...

(Jughead hugs Reggie extremely hard as Reggie's face turns purple and his body.)

Jughead: Merry Christmas, Reggie!!

(Jughead runs towards Dilton as Dilton is taken back by Jughead's suddenly positive attitude. Several of the other teens look on confused. Cricket is checking out a passed out Reggie.)

Jughead: Dilton, we plan a Christmas eve party, you tell me in November and I'll get right at it!

(Jughead runs up to Ethel as Ethel acts sheepish. Jughead pulls at his shirt.)

Ethel: Juggie, I've never seen you so...so full of Christmas cheer.

Jughead: This is how everyone should be. Celebrating the people and places you make a part of your life.

(Ethel looks up at the mistletoe above her head as Jughead playfully rolls his eyes.)

Ethel: I'm glad to hear. And look, there's mistletoe and the old Christmas tradition..

(Jughead kisses Ethel on the cheek as Ethel's body stiffens and her eyes turn to hearts.)

Jughead: Merry Christmas, Ethel.

(Ethel faints as Moose and Adam catch her. Trula is walking up to Jughead. She is still carrying her gift.)

Trula: Jughead, I've never seen you so happy and with such an open positive outlook.

(Trula tilts her head and smiles as Jughead looks at the reader with a smirk.)

Trula: Have you gone insane?

(Jughead takes Trula's gift.)

Jughead: This is for me, from earlier, right?

Trula: Yes, I thought that...

(Jughead looks inside to see a brand new hat just like his own, but in mint condition.)

Jughead: !!!

(Jughead looks at it as Trula turns away as she blushes.)

Jughead: Wow! I thought that my hat was the last of its line.

Trula: Well...as much as I've burnt you up, I thought your hat had too many scorch marks on it and a new one might be...

(Jughead puts his old hat on Trula who is taken by surprise as he puts the new one on his head.)

Jughead: Merry Christmas, Trula! And here, I know it's hand-me-down, but hey, you want inside of my head, you can start by analyzing my hat!

Trula: !?

(Jughead is walking towards Archie, Betty, and Veronica with his arms extended as he prepares to give them a big hug. In the back ground, Trula is placing the hat on her head.)

Jughead: Veronica, rich, but tolerable; Betty, nice, but strong; and Archie Andrews, the best friend a guy could ever have!

(Jughead begins to hug all three at once. In the background Trula is holding her stomach like its demanding food and walking up to her is Tomoko carrying a tray of chocolate fudge treats.)

(Archie is talking with Jughead as Jughead stops hugging the trio. In the background, Trula begins to scarf down the fudge treats uncontrollably as Tomoko looks on in awe.)

Archie: Wow. I never thought I would see the day Jughead Jones was full of cheer and not just food.

(Jughead walks towards Pops, who is dressed like Santa, as he talks to Archie. Betty and Veronica look at Jughead perplexedly.)

Jughead: Hey, it may only come once a year, so mark it down, Arch.

Pop Tate: Jughead, something you want to say to me?

(Jughead is talking with Pop as Pop motions with one hand for him to stop.)

Jughead: Pop, I know I'm a bum and a glutton, and I don't have the money, but I promise I'll do a better job.

Pop Tate: Pop? Why I'm Santa Claus and you've been all that, but you're still a good boy...

(Pop Tate pulls down the white beard and smiles at Jughead. Jughead winks and gives him the okay hand signal.)

Pop Tate: ...So let's hold off until the new year and enjoy the holiday.

Jughead: Right on.

(Jughead is leaving and waving goodbye to everyone.)

Jughead: Bye, everyone and in case I don't catch you before the 25th—MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

(Jughead leaves as nearly everyone stares expressionlessly at the door. Trula Twyst is continuing to eat various types of treats and Sandy is using a red napkin to try and wake up a still out of it Ethel. Reggie is trying to work a crick out of his back.)

(Veronica leans behind Archie's back to Betty who cups her hand over the left side of her mouth as if only to talk so Veronica can hear her.)

Veronica: Betty, you don't think Jughead got into your dad's eggnog, do you?

Betty: I think I'm just going to consider this a Christmas miracle and leave it at that.

(From the window of the Jones home we can see The Jones and Wilkin family enjoying Christmas dinner as Uncle Herman throws a turkey drumstick to Jughead who catches it as he talks with Bingo. The adults are talking with one another)

Caption: I have to admit, Francis you do good work.

Caption: Well, the foundation was already set for me, I just put up a few bright lights is all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

PART II:

(Jughead enters Pop's as Frankie is on a ladder hanging up a Christmas banner. Jughead swings the door and the door hits the ladder as Frankie loses his balance. Jinx Malloy is on the left of the door in his standard slump, but with a slight smile on his face for once.)

Jughead: Pops! My usual feast plus whatever else you guys have!

WHAP

Frankie: Jughead! Hey! I'm trying to--

(Jughead steps forward in his muddy boots as Frankie slips as he has hold of the banner. This leads to him swinging directly into Jinx Malloy. Jughead, oblivious to what he caused, begins to look around Pop's.)

CRASSHH

Jughead: Hey, what's going on? This isn't the Pop's I know and love.

(Jughead looks around to see the inside of Pop's has been decorated for Christmas. Chuck and Nancy are at a window painting Santa Claus on the window closest to the door. Kumi Tamura and Kim Wong are mopping the floor. Nick St. Clair is reluctantly holding a ladder along with Randy, dressed in a red-green version of Tuxedo Mask, as Adam is putting up paper Christmas tree decorations on the ceilings. Wendy Weatherbee is putting green and red napkins on the tables. Archie, Betty, and Veronica (both dressed as Christmas elves) are decorating a Christmas tree that is near the counter, blocking Jughead's usual stool, Tomoko and Cricket are watching as Reggie hangs up mistletoe, Raj is filming everything being prepared, Moose is carrying a large stack of presents as Midge helps guide him towards the tree, and Dilton is frantically trying his best to supervise this late Christmas Eve party madness. Pop's is behind the counter looking at a Santa costume.)

Jughead: It's just doesn't have the same spirit like it always does.

(Jughead leaves the door open as a window blows in snow that hits the window Chuck and Nancy are working on, causing it to drip and ruin their work. On a few tables that Wendy has prepared, the napkins have blown off.)

Chuck: Hey!

Nancy: Close the door, Jughead!

Jughead: Why bother with all this once a month décor when everything was already perfect the rest of the year?


(Maria is helping Jinx and Frankie to their feet as Wendy Weatherbee closes the door as Chuck and Nancy grimace at their droopy, drippy painted Santa.)

Jinx: Sorry, Frankie. I didn't mean—

Frankie: It's not your fault.

(The victims of Jughead all glare at Jughead as Dilton walks up to Jughead. As Jughead walks in, he is leaving muddy foot prints on the floor that Kumi and Kim had just mopped, leading to both girls glaring angrily at Jughead. )

Dilton: Jughead! Sandy and Bridget went out for more provisions and we could use another hand.

Dilton: By my calculations, we should have everything ready just within--

(Jughead walks past Dilton as he heads towards Archie, Veronica, and Betty. In the background: Kumi watches in shock as Kim breaks the mop over her leg. Reggie has the mistletoe hung and is near the middle of the ladder as he bends down and points up at it to Tomoko and Cricket and puckers his lips as Cricket and Tomoko roll their eyes at him as they seem to be good sports about his wanting a kiss and Raj has his camera filming them.)

Jughead: Smells like food is ready, so that's all that's important, Dilly.

(Jughead is talking with Archie and the girls. Jughead looks disdainfully at the Christmas tree the three are decorating as it is in front of his seat. In the background, Reggie is kissed by the two girls as he smirks and winks at the camera.)

Jughead: Um, you guys do know that Christmas tree is rooted on sacred ground.

Betty: Sorry, Jughead, but this was the perfect spot.

Jughead: No. A forest is a perfect place for a tree.

Veronica: If you don't like it, you can sit somewhere else.

(Jughead folds his arms over his shoulders as he is frustrated.)

Jughead: Bah! I bet this Christmas tree is crawling with humbugs.

Archie: C'mon, Jughead. It's Christmas Time, and we just threw this party together last minute before everyone's families gather.

(Moose, carrying the presents, walks up to the gang. Behind him, Reggie is pointing the mistletoe out to Midge. Raj is on his knees filming to film an low angle view of Reggie.)

Moose: Duh, here's all the presents.

Veronica: Just sit them down and Betty can place them under the tree while I help Archie.

(Betty looks at Veronica as Veronica reluctantly gives in. Moose is walking back and sees Midge about to kiss Reggie.)

Moose: !!!

Betty: "Betty can place them under the tree while I help Archie?"

Veronica: Oh fine. I'll help with that big red one after you've gotten the others placed.

(Veronica strikes a pose towards Archie as Archie blushes. Betty rolls her eyes as she is putting gifts under the tree.)

Veronica: But it looks soooo awfully heavy. You'll help me won't, you Archiekins?

Archie: OF COURSE!!

(Jughead is just standing back talking as they arrange the presents under the tree and points at their costumes. Pops is listening in and not looking too friendly at Jughead. In the background, a pummeled Reggie is hanging on the ceiling along with the mistletoe as Moose and Midge kiss under him. Raj is lying on his back and is filming underneath Reggie)

Jughead: Look at you two. It's shameful how you dress up like that to try and win Archie over.

Betty: What?

(Jughead acts arrogant as he leans against the counter as Veronica jerks her head up.)

Jughead: I mean, Veronica. Shouldn't you be out trying to buy him over?

Veronica: That does it!!

(Veronica and Betty stand up. Veronica is pointing a finger into Jughead's chest, pushing him back.)

Veronica: For your information, needle nose, Betty and I were just helping out at the Children's Hospital and just arrived here to help set up.

(Archie is putting a ladder at the tree as he holds the star.)

Archie: Yeah! They were out spreading Christmas cheer while you were probably filling your guts.

(Jughead turns away and sticks his nose in the air.)

Jughead: "Probably"? I thought you knew me better than that, Arch.

(Archie is still angry with Jughead as Jughead doesn't seem to care one way or the other.)

Archie: We're all getting together before Christmas and everyone went out to buy gifts for friends...except you.

Jughead: Tell you what, Archie. Loan me ten dollars and whatever is left over from my eats goes to buying you a present.

(Archie and the girls go back to work as Jughead seems surprised by Archie.)

Archie: Look, just be quiet while the rest of us are working.

Jughead: You're awfully touchy today.

(Pops talking to Jughead as he lays the Santa costume on the counter. Archie is climbing on a ladder to put the star on the tree as Betty and Veronica look on lovingly.)

Pop Tate: Jughead, it wouldn't kill you to help out.

(Jughead turns to Pop and smiles as Pop looks firmly at Jughead. Archie tips over in the ladder and becomes stuck in the Christmas tree as Betty and Veronica look alarmed.)

Jughead: Maybe, but why take unnecessary chances?

(Pop Tate puts his elbows on the counter as he talks with Jughead as Jughead looks away from Pop Tate. Betty and Veronica each grab a leg as they yank Archie out of the tree. Archie is covered in tinsel, decorations and a few pine needles.)

Pop Tate: So you plan on just making one-liners, watching everyone else set the party up, and eating as much food as you can when everyone is finished?

Jughead: Almost. I planned on eating as much food as I could BEFORE everyone was finished.

(Jughead leans over the counter knocking the Santa costume off the counter.)

Jughead: You're not a saint in all of this. I mean, you must be getting a pretty penny, a dashing dime, and quant quarter or two out of this.

(Pop Tate bends down to pick up the costume as it is now dirty.)

Pop Tate: No. Everyone brought there own supplies of food and decorations and promised to clean up afterwards.

(Jughead seems confused as Pop Tate dusts off his costume.)

Pop Tate: I figure it's Christmas Time and I might not see a few of you kids for a good bit, so it's like me giving a gift.

Jughead: A gift?

(Jughead licks his lips as Pop Tate glares at Jughead.)

Jughead: That's great! You can give me food for free and save yourself the trouble of putting it on my tab!

Pop Tate: Grrrrmmmbblle.

(Pop Tate pushes Jughead out of the Chocklit Shop. All the teens who were Jughead's victims look on favorably.)

Jughead: C'mon, Pops! It's the giving season!

Pop: Right! Giving not taking!

(Pop Tate slams the door behind Jughead and Jughead reacts as if the force of the blow is vibrating throughout his body.)

Pop Tate: Give me a hint of some Merry Christmas or don't come back until New Year!

SLAMM

(Jughead takes a step away from the Shoppe.)

Jughead: I can't believe I was kicked out!  Kicked out of my home away from home while a car freshener model is rooting in my spot!

(Jughead begins to look through the windows of Pops.)

(Jughead looks on sadly as everyone seems to be enjoying each others company as they work. Moose is even helping Reggie down from the ceiling after Midge prods him with her elbow. Wendy is putting the tables back in place, Chuck and Nancy try to salvage their painted Santa, Maria, Frankie, and Jynx are straightening out the banner on the floor and dusting it off, and Kumi and Kim get a new mop to clean up the floor.)

Jughead: Look at them all. They look like they're happy without me.

(Jughead takes a step back and looks himself over.)

Jughead: I don't get it. I haven't acted any differently than I normally do—and I'm taking tongue lashing after tongue lashing to the point I can barely muster a syllable!

(Jughead shakes a fist as several people on the sidewalk turn towards him in alarm.)

Jughead: You speak the honest truth about one day and you're shunned!

(Another high angle view as Jughead is walking into the Riverdale Park)

Caption: Thanks for coming, Francis.

Other caption: Have to be somewhere. You said someone had a problem?

(Still a high angle view as Jughead is walking across a bridge and looking into the flowing icy river. Several people and kids are building snowmen and playing in the snow)

Caption: No, I said someone was a problem. Down there.

Other caption: Which one?

(Still a higher angle view, but it is now focusing on Jughead.)

Caption: That one. The one with the long nose and big ears.

Other caption: Ah, Gloomy Gus with the weird hat.

(Jughead is disheartened s he looks at his reflection in the

Caption: Actually, he's Jughead Jones, and I think he could use a little help understanding the Christmas season. 

Other caption: Leave it to a professional.

(Jughead is staring at his reflection as he sighs.)

Jughead: Look at me, all alone. Friendless, Familyless, my stomach somewhat foodless...

Jughead: Maybe everyone would be better off if I was never born. It'd probably only make their Christmas better.

(A breeze suddenly blows Jughead's hat off as he turns to catch it.)

Jughead: Hey! I don't want to be hatless much less with all the less I have that I don't!

(Jughead puts his hat on as he is taken by surprise as someone is talking to him.)

Voice behind Jughead: Funny, weren't you just preaching the, "less is more" deal?

Jughead: Huh?

(Jughead turns around to see a man with blond shoulder length hair wearing a trench coat over a red sweater, a purple scarf wrapped around his neck and regular jeans standing on the bridge beam where Jughead was.)

Francis: That's how I inferred what you were implying with the "if I was never born" talk you did a few seconds ago.

(Francis smiles down at Jughead as a snow wind blows his hair and scarf.)

Francis: Want to find out?

 PART I




(Jughead is watching TV as he eats a bag of chips on the couch. Next to him is Jellybean who is playing with a doll. Behind him his parents, after having gotten up from bed (as they are in sleep attire such as robes) are walking behind him. In the background we can see a bare Christmas Tree with boxes of declarations still sealed shut right next to it. The stockings are hung over the fireplace and various other Christmas decorations over the house.)

Jughead: Morning, Mom, Pops.

Mr. Jones: Well, what a surprise. I didn't expect to see you up so early.

(Mr. Jones is talking with Jughead as Mrs. Jones enters the kitchen.)

Jughead: Early for breakfast, faster to a morning nap.

(Mr. Jones turns to the Christmas tree as it is still undecorated. Hot Dog is sniffing around the boxes with candy cane decorations.)

Mr. Jones: And what about that? You promised you would decorate the Christmas tree last night...after promising to get to it all this month!

Jughead: Pops, it's just a tree we have in the house for one month and then we get rid of. Why waste time decorating if it's only going to be here for a short time?

Mr. Jones: I could use that same argument about food in the refrigerator.

(Mr. Jones glares at his son as Hotdog happily trots away with a candy cane in his mouth.)

Mr. Jones. It's December and it's a Christmas tree, Jughead.

Jughead: Then why do I always see Christmas lights up all over town in November?

(Jughead goes back to watching TV as he flips the channels as his father face palms at Jughead's lack of understanding of Christmas Spirit. Jellybean notices Hot Dog with his candy cane and licks her lips.)

Jughead: The only other holiday I might accept in November might be Halloween and only because of all the spare candy.

Mr. Jones: Please spare me...

(Mr. Jones turns as his wife screams.)

Mrs. Jones: AAAHHHH

Mr. Jones: Gladys!!

(Mr. Jones walks up to his wife who is standing and pointing into the kitchen.)

Mr. Jones: Is something wrong? Is there a fire?

Mrs. Jones: No! But our kitchen was struck by something else that consumes all in its path.

(Mr. Jones looks into the kitchen and is taken back by the sight. On the table are the remains of a feast: Chicken bones, turkey bones, ham bones, yam, pots that had food in them and empty food cans. Mrs. Jones looks into the kitchen angrily as Jughead casually walks behind them.)

Mr. Jones: !!!

Jughead: Hey, do we still have that pack of marshmallows from a month back?

(Mr. Jones turns to Jughead who pats his stomach.)

Mr. Jones: You didn't have breakfast! You ate all the preparations for our Christmas Eve Feast!

(Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones yell at Jughead who acts calm and unfazed.)

Mr. Jones: We have relatives coming over! Even your Uncle Herman and your cousin Bingo will be here this afternoon.

Jughead: He's not bringing his girlfriend is he? She's an amazon.

(Mr. Jones points at the bare Christmas Tree as Jughead begins to rebut his father's claim. Jellybean has now crawled down and is playing with a box of tinsel as Mrs. Jones tries to get her unwrapped.)

Mr. Jones: It's like this every year with you. Don't you have any sort of Christmas Spirit in you?

(Jughead cups his hand over his mouth as he tries to think of something as Mr. Jones becomes impatient)

Jughead: Hm...not TV because I hate those lame claymation cartoons and that movie with the kid and the BB gun....

(Jughead raises a finger to symbolize he's thought of something as Mr. Jones looks on optimistically. Mrs. Jones is now wrapped up like a mummy in tinsel as Jellybean looks on and laughs.)

Jughead: One thing.

(Jughead rubs his stomach and licks his lips as he talks and his father frowns.)

Jughead: I'm one of the few people who love fruitcake.

(Mr. Jones continues to lecture Jughead as Jughead rolls his eyes.)

Mrs. Jones: Today is all about family and friends and being together!

Jughead: ...Which is just about everyday...

Mr. Jones: You would have to live your life with your eyes closed not to see that!

(Jughead Jones closes his eyes like he normally does and smiles and points at his eyes. The Jones parents begin to fume.)

Jughead: Then I guess I'm excused!

(Jughead is in his coat and scarf as he runs out of his house. Outside is several inches of snow and houses decorate for Christmas with lights and various Christmas theme decorations like Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Santa Claus.)

Mr. Jones behind him: If you're not going to be of good cheer, then stay out for a few hours while we salvage what we can and finish the decorations.

(Jughead has his hands buried in his coat pocket as he scowls as he walks along the sidewalk.)

Jughead: Hmph. What's the big deal? You can save yourself trouble and just order in food.

(Jughead stretches his arms to illustrate all the decorated houses and holiday figures in yards.)

Jughead: Christmas is just another day. The sun comes up, the sun comes down, nothing's ever different.

Jughead: I mean, why go to all the trouble with blinking multi-colored lights up and down your house. That's just a massive electricity bill for you next year.

(Jughead begins to shiver as a wave of snow blows into his face.)

Jughead: Brrrr. Not to mention how cold it is always is around this time...

(Jughead looks down the street as, unnoticed behind his back, several children are pulling a sleigh as they race off to find a hill.)

Jughead: This year is even worse with all this snow. I don't see how anyone can be happy about it being so white today.

(Jughead begins to walk back to his house.)

Jughead: Well, I think that should have given them enough time to cool down...

(Jughead walks into his yard as he prepares to peek through the living room window.)

Jughead: ...but better safe than sorry.

(Jughead looks at his house as we can see through the window. He sees his parents and Jellybean near the tree as it's almost decorated. The lights are already around the tree. Mrs. Jones is holding Jellybean as she passes Mr. Jones Christmas decorations to place on the tree. Jellybean is playing with tinsel with her free hand. Hotdog is curled up under the tree.)

Jughead: ...

(Jughead turns his head away as he sadly walks away.)

Jughead: Look at that. Not even gone a second and everyone's day just lights up.

(Mr. Jones plugs up the Christmas lights and they light up in various colors as Jellybean and Hot Dog both clap in approval. Jughead holds his stomach like he's just been punched.)

Jughead: Oh, the irony is like a hot butter knife in my bread basket...

(A high angle view as Jughead is walking down the street. We can see walking down the street towards Jughead is Trula Twyst holding a present.)

Caption: Look at that guy. There's one of these in every town. Acting like it's another day and being a grouchy with every single person he meets.

(Trula Twyst walks up to Jughead. Trula does her smile and head tilt as Jughead becomes angry and frustrated even more.)

Trula Twyst: Jughead Jones. Just the boy I was hoping to see today.

Jughead: Trula Twyst. Just the girl I was hoping not to see any day.

(Trula Twyst holds up the gift towards Jughead. Jughead looks on untrusting of the gift. Jughead has a thought balloon of himself opening the gift as a viper comes out as an evil looking Trula looks on gleefully)

Trula Twyst: Now, Juggers, is that any way to talk to someone who is delivering you your Christmas present?

(Jughead waves Trula off as he begins to walk past Trula who looks at him at a loss.)

Jughead: Pass.

Trula: Pass?

(Jughead continues to walk away from Trula as Trula becomes agitated. Her eyebrows furrow as she glares a Jughead.)

Jughead: Pass on whatever's in the box and passing by you right now.

(Jughead is hit by a snowball on the back of his head as he shudders.)

Trula off panel: Then you can have this instead!

BOP

Jughead: ACCCKKK!!

(Jughead is walking on a new street past as he tries to knock snow out of his hat. On the other corner is Ethel as she has some freshly baked cookies in a container)

Jughead: Sheesh! Is everyone going to give me a hard time today?

(Jughead meets Ethel. Ethel is happy to see him, but Jughead is less than happy to see her.)

Ethel: Juggie!

Jughead: Oh. Ethel.

(Ethel holds out the Christmas cookies as Jughead salivates over them.)

Ethel: I was just done fixing up the Christmas cookies for the Christmas Eve Party at Pop's, and I thought maybe you would like a sample.

Jughead: Keep thinking like that and Dilton has competition in the brain department!

(Jughead begins to munch the cookies in a style similar to cookie monster as Ethel looks lovingly at him even though he is making a pig out of himself.)

Caption: Look at that guy. I'd say he should eat with his mouth closed, but he'd probably bite off his own tongue...

(Jughead looks up as he continues to devour cookies fist and mouth all at once.)

Jughead: *munch munch* You say something *munch* about a Christmas Party?

Ethel: Yeah, Archie thought it up last night and the entire gang is trying to throw a quick little Christmas Eve get together for us Riverdale teens at Pop's.

(Ethel looks on lovingly as Jughead pats his belly. Ethel has her hands cupped at her left face cheek as she talks to Jughead.)

Ethel: Now, isn't there something that you would like to give me in return?

(Jughead burps in Ethel's face as Ethel's face turns green in disgust.)

Jughead: BURRRRRPPPPP

(Jughead is walking away as Ethel is bent over while waving a fist at Jughead.)

Ethel: Jughead Jones! I don't know why I bother with you sometimes!

Jughead: Think like that all the time and we're making progress.

(A high angle view again as Jughead is walking into town with The Chocklit Shoppe in view.)

Caption: Just like I thought. I'm going to have to call in the expert on this one.

Thanks.

Don't jump to conclusion, don't kiss the girlfriend of teenage Brock Lesnar in front of him...

Funny thing, before we lost everything and I have to repost everything...this was the most viewed story. I was just bored looking at them and this one had the most views. It was somewhere in the four thousand views.