One issue at a time.



 

Issue 272:

My, what a cheery cover. Betty and Veronica look so happy as they venture out into the world. I don't normally skim pages but I just can't help myself—OH DEAR LORD THEY DIED!?!

The Good:


Betty and Veronica: While a good majority of the characters are hampered by the first act (and the main stars not being in the first ten pages) fake out, Betty and Veronica are in character. Veronica is her usual arrogant self who doesn't think before she speaks. Betty is nervous and already trepidations about leaving home. How they each say goodbye to Archie at the airport is all on point.

There's some good jokes. You have a fun exchange about girls with Archie, Reggie, Jughead and Kevin Keller that I chuckled at. And if not for the art or coloring (I'll go into detail later) there is a really funny joke with Midge and Cheryl that Midge ends up winning 2 to 1.

The second half: It's not perfect, but it's sure as heck better than the first half of the issue (I'll get to that later). You actually do have some nice moments with Betty and Veronica with their family and friends. And actual jokes and funny moments. What Archie Comics are—er, were about. It's nice to see two characters with so many friends and how cherished they are. Overblown...yeah. But it sure as heck beats pretending for ten pages they died!!

Cheryl: She's a...um, witch. Yeah, we'll keep this review PG. She wants to take advantage of Betty and Veronica leaving, gets into a fight with Midge over it, and immediately tries to date Archie and Reggie.

Betty crying: Out of all of Riverdale, you seem to be the only one capable of biologically crying in the appropriate manner, for the most part. I just want you to know I appreciate that.

Good art: I'm not a fan of most of the art in this issue but we do have some good pages. Like Betty's mom or The Lodges. Unfortunately it's kind of pointless and wasted by the stupid first half of the issue. And the very last few pages with the girls and their families and Archie are nice. Also, I know it's not intentional, but after the first ten pages, Mr. Cooper's expression just seems funny. "Wait? They're not dead??"

The Coloring: Glenn Whitmore is at the top of his game. I think my favorite coloring is with Smithers looking to Veronica's empty room and crying. I mean, it's in the first ten pages I hated what they did with, but at hey—at least I know Smithers cares about Veronica...unlike her parents!

Bridgette: I'm not a fan of this Mary Sue, and last I heard, she was in another country world famous. Now she's back in Riverdale, probably a grade behind her friends, and poor. She had her dream and lost it! That's why she looks so unhappy! Ha-Ha!

Ginger Lopez. Whew. I thought we'd have a Dan Parent drawn comic without her for a second.



The Bad:

What a twist—feh. Okay, so we have this fun cheery cover of the girls smiling and waving goodbye to us with nice happy coloring—and then the first half of the story has every character (save for The Lodges) acting like Betty and Veronica died!! I'm not joking, you have every character crying/sweating like the girls' plane went down in a fiery blaze. Okay, let's take out the cover (no, keep it. It's one of the few good things) but it's just stupid, unnecessary. Honestly, a lot of it feels like it's just something to take up page space. I mean, I don't know what you could have done...maybe, just throwing this out there—HAVE THE MAIN CHARACTERS IN THE FIRST TEN PAGES OF THEIR BOOK!!! ...Okay, me Michael Uslan are not going to get along very well with one another. I can tell that right now.

Um, why are they leaving? Yeah, they never really say why they're leaving. That seems important.

The art. I'm going to be honest. I'm not a fan of Dan Parent's art. I just don't like it. I can take it in small doses. But when you had Ruiz, Lindsey, The Kennedys...he's second worst, just ahead of Pat in my pecking order And his art works best in limited pages and limited characters. Just check out ever female character not Bridgette, remember those old comics where you could cut out the hair and clothing and tape over them? That's what you can do with Dan Parent's girls. And besides that a lot of pages seem rushed and sloppy. Like the Little versions of the Archie crew and the first page where we see Mr. Weatherbee and Ms. Grundy After the fight, Midge looked like she did have a black eye, but Cheryl...she looks like she hadn't slept for two days, and it hurts a funny joke. And during the double spread...I'm trying to figure out the proportions of Archie and the stage to everyone else.  And looking back...Raj looks like he's about to fall over. Also, there are a lot of misshapen (but polite sign holding) mutants. No wonder the girls want to leave! Horror was coming to Riverdale sooner than we all thought!

Jughead's mom: This deserves its own little spot because—I HATE WHEN JUGHEAD AND HIS MOM ARE DRAWN TO LOOK ALIKE!!!

Tears? Okay this annoyed the heck out of me throughout the story. You have all these characters crying and, save for Betty, they look like someone turned up the heat. The way they're drawn it looks like the tears start right at the upper cheek. It's really weird and it happens so much it's annoying. I get that the idea is the tears rolling down their face...but it doesn't look that way! It looks like sweat!

Okay, now I know you're wasting my time: There's a small section of a page where Mr. Weatherbee critiques Miss Grundy for watching the Walking Dead and she goes on a mini-rant about classical monsters...WHY WOULD YOU GO THERE? Even crudely drawn Archie, Jughead, and Ginger Lopez is wondering why we're wasting time with this.

...

And for the record, Mr. Weatherbee is right about The Walking Dead being horrible.

Character walking into the panel. How dare you. Deadpool is the only character that is allowed to break the 4^th wall!!

Miss Grundy slamming the door behind her: It's just rude.

What I learned from what I read.

Betty won't be missed. She already has a little clone running around.

• Smithers loves Veronica more than her parents.
• Don't insult classical literature involving monsters in front of Miss. Grundy.
• People in Riverdale cry really weird.
• Midge >>>>Cheryl. SHIROUKEN!!
• Mr. Weatherbee doesn't like The Walking Dead.
• Every time Betty and Veronica are out of eyeshot, everyone in Riverdale reaches new lows in depression.
• Mrs. Cooper gets real emotional folding laundry.
• A Power point presentation? Riverdale is full of cavepeople.
• Wait...Veronica left for the plane first, then Betty left after saying goodbye to Archie—and Veronica is behind Archie right after Betty leaves? Veronica's a nightcrawler!!

 

I'm not going to lie, this was a rough one. I hated the first ten pages of trying a stupid stunt no one with a brain or working eyes would fall for and this issue felt like so much filler and buying time. The art is pretty bad. A lot of characters look so sloppy. But there is the occasional good dialogue and jokes and a few pages where I do give Dan Parent credit on the art. I'm going to be super super SUPER nice and go D+

And not onto the next issue where the girls haven't left Riverdale...wait, what? Am I reviewing these in the right order?!

To be fair to Riverdale, it was a Thursday night with new episodes for hit shows and the Mary Tyler Moore dedication. I got the issue on DVR and will look at it later.

 PTF Reviews Target: Jughead.

Man, the things you find at a late January yard sale! I guess global warming isn't so bad afterall. Trust me, when I went into that old ladies y-sale, I did not expect to find digests (Jughead with Archie 171-173...for a dollar! WHOOO!) containing a story I've been looking for forever, along with all issues of the Kevin Keller series and a certain infamous storyline round these parts. Oh, and The Changling. But the DVD didn't work so that's one dollar wasted, but does the first Trula Twyst story live up to the hype? Let's find out!

Jughead is paranoid. The boys of Riverdale High believe he is faking being a woman hater and this one particular curly haired girl is everywhere he goes. Is there a connection, a scheme, if so what?

The Good.

Boldman and Lindsey: The ultimate Jughead crew. I really can't think of a single story by these two that I hate. And they had over ten years. And this story is one of their best. Jughead is at his quirkiest and wittiest. Jughead dealing with each agents of J.U.S.T. by eating, sleeping, or just turning one into a couch potato. How I miss closed eyes, witty, cunning Jughead over opened eyes, "happy-happy-cray-cray" Jughead. And the build to this story is really good. Trula is brought in as possible an innocent victim of circumstance, to the reader thinking she's just another one off character Jughead will best to...wow. She won. And the design for Trula Twyst probably looks familiar because Lindsey used this design for a lot of one time characters. Let's see there was a girl at museum, softball player, and girlfriend to Mad Doctor Mad's sidekick, Chester. At least I think it was Chester or a handsome rip off of the guy.

Anyway, the character designs (and there's quite a few) are great, each character looks different in some way. It's just a great classic Archie art from the most underrated Archie artist. ...And kudos for the ominous wind whenever the orange door is in panel after part one. It's just super funny to me.




Trula Twyst: Easily one of my favorite supporting characters of Archie Comics. I've always considered Jughead the Bugs Bunny of Archie Comics. Trula Twyst is the tortoise or The Gremlin. A character that the usually invincible can't beat because they're just better than the main character at being clever. And she is at all time form in this story that sees her manipulate everyone at Riverdale High, with Jughead being the lynch pin to her plans, and she wins. Plays everyone like a fiddle with not a single hiccup along the way. And the thing is: she's just so witty and entertaining you're fine with it. She's smart, able to hang with Jughead in the wit department, and she is pleasant to everyone. She's just manipulative and dead set on getting her end result.

I think my favorite part in the story that shows she is a threat is at The Chocklit Shop. Jughead is pretending he wants a girlfriend and chooses Trula (hoping to make guys want to date her/unwittingly doing exactly what she wants) Jughead breaks character when he orders an oversized ice cream cone and doesn't plan to get Trula anything. Trula's response? Just break the lower part of the cone off. Closely followed is Jughead's reaction to Trula telling him she tricked him. One of the few times when Jughead is at a lost for words and loses his composure not food related. Well, until later encounters with Trula.

Each part is twelve pages and it just flows really well.




The Bad:

The Coloring: We have a few problems with the coloring in this three part story. In the first part, Trula's hair is more of a brownish red instead of just red. Also the dreaded orange door that leads to the lair of Trula Twyst...is brown until the last part of the story. I kind of understand Trula's hair because she is just introduced. But the door is said to be orange. I guess Barry Grossman decided to read the script at part three a bit better. But besides these minor problems, the typical great job from Barry Grossman.

The wait. I had to find this at an old lady's yard sale!?! What the heck, Archie Comics?! Some intern lose a box labeled "Boldman characters?" Sorry for bringing back bad memories to the furries out there. Totally insensitive on my part.

What I learned from reading:

There's always someone better than you at what you're the best at.

• Rhymatic channel surfing is a lost art. (Stupid DVRs making it easy on lazy kids these days)
• It's not how thick a thief is, but how crooked.
• Girls are way more organized than boys.
• Everyone wants what someone else has.
• Poetry reading helps move along a good nap.
• You're not paranoid if someone really is out to get you.
• Dumpsters are the best hiding spots in comics.
• Jughead dating throws off the entire universe.
• Beware of orange doors!!!

 
And there we have it. A story I've long waited to be reprinted in a digest...and end up just lucking into it. Trula seems to be a pretty popular character...so we don't we ever see more of her? I remember reading how she wasn't going to be used much, but was popular with the readers. And I can see why: good character design, her mind games set her apart from the other characters, and she's just a great nemesis for Jughead.

Why she didn't appear near the end before the reboot or even show up in the reboot? I have no idea. Best I can figure that in the end it was down to Ruiz and Parent and each had characters they preferred. Trula wasn't one of them. I'd like to say that Trula will be in the new verse one day—but I'm still wondering if Jughead has a baby sister or if Ethel exists in the Jughead book. But the thing is with Trula or any other character that isn't getting the representation we all like: there are still stories out there to find. Sure it's harder, but after all the waiting I had for this story, it made reading it more special. Of course, I'm saying that as someone who accomplished his quests so...have fun slaying your dragons, folks, I'm done! WHOOO!!



Grade: A. The worst is a few miscolorings. This is a classic story that should be read. HEAR THAT ARCHIE COMICS. ...Oh, you're busy making a one shot Jughead as a werewolf. Sorry for interrupting your important business.

And for my next review Betty and Veronica: Farewell Riverdale. Betty & Veronica 272-277  I read one part of this years back and...it wasn't good. Maybe time has aged this story like fine wine. And c'mon, I got these issues for two bucks. It's going to be hard to not be worth the money.

Right?

Right...?

Alright! Love the Moose special.

And could Betty & Veronica come out before the next Afterlife be in April? It's the ultimate tortoise vs turtle race reaching it's conclusion!!

Page 7

Panel one: Archie has both elbows on the counter and chin in both the palms of his hands as he looks down at his resolution. Unnoticed by Archie, Betty and Veronica are walking up towards him. Jughead tries to get his attention.

Archie: I just can't do it! I just can't pick between the two!!

Jughead: Um, Archie?

Archie: I know, I know, I've hard years but I just can't decide!!

Panel two: Betty sticks her head at Archie's left shoulder as Jughead just turns back around in the stool as he waves it off. Archie's eyes bug out as he is startled.

Betty: Can't choose what, Archie?

Panel three: Veronica sticks her head down to Archie's right as she looks down at the note. As Archie freaks out even more.

Veronica: What have you there, Archiekins? A love note for moi?

Panel four: Betty and Veronica each lean over to read the note as Archie sighs and tilts his body back as far as he can as he sadly looks on knowing he can do nothing.

Panel five: Betty and Veronica both give each other the stink eye as Archie remains the same as the last panel.

Panel six: Betty and Veronica both turn to Archie and point at each other as they startle Archie enough for him to fall backwards out of his stool.

Betty and Veronica: PICK ME!!

Archie: AAH

SFX: Plop

Page 8

Panel one: Veronica suddenly calms down and waves off the argument as Archie sits up relieved. Jughead is surprised while Betty is suspicious.

Veronica: Oh, this is silly and I refuse to let this escalate over a silly paper for an archaic custom. Archie shouldn't be so hard-pressed to make a life altering decision.

Archie: Really?!

Panel two: Veronica pulls out a pin and has it over the paper as Betty looks down and notices something suspicious. With her free hand, Veronica blows Archie a kiss. As Archie have eyes for hearts.

Veronica: Of course. In fact, I'll just deal with this silly little paper and everything will be the same as it ever was.

Betty: !!

Panel three: Betty grabs Veronica's wrist to stop her from marking up the paper. Veronica's pleasant attitude turns rough as she practically snarls at Betty.

Betty: Not so fast!

Veronica: What do you think you're doing!?

Panel four: Betty motions her head down towards the paper as the pin is above the "Betty or" section of the paper. Jughead looks on angrily while Archie is disappointed.

Betty: It's what you were trying to do! You were going to only mark over "Betty or"!

Veronica: I'll have you know I was going to start in the middle and mark left to right! It's how all the privileged mark over a mistake!

Panel five: Veronica looks over Betty's shoulder as Betty turns her head and takes her eyes off Veronica. Veronica slowly is moving the paper up towards the pen tip.

Veronica: And another thing—say is that a lost child looking for his or her mother?

Betty: What? Oh, you poor thing, I'll help you find...

Panel six: Betty snaps her head back just in time. Betty uses both hands to move the pen away from the paper as Veronica tries to get the paper to mark over Betty's name.

Betty: Hey!! Why you dirty sneak!!

Veronica: Dirty? You're the one with grime under her fingernail, bubblehead!!

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead is reaching over Betty to grab the pen as Betty turns to him.

Betty: Don't try and stop me, Jughead!

Panel two: Jughead begins to cooperate with Betty as they team up against Veronica. Betty smiles at Jughead while Jughead smiles back at her.

Jughead: Stop you? I'm trying to help you!

Betty: Oh. Well, thank you.

Panel four: Veronica scream as she struggles to keep Betty and Jughead at bay with one hand as they are both working together against her. With her free hand, Veronica has the paper behind her sticking out away from the pen now as the other two begin to move the pen towards the page.

Veronica: Two against one isn't fair!!


Panel five: Veronica uses her free arm to move the paper away from the pen as Betty and Jughead have a stale mate with Veronica as Veronica struggles to keep the pen away from the paper. Archie looks on in vain at what he seeing.

Betty: Juggie, are you even trying??

Jughead: For once in my life!

Veronica: You two think you're the first of the unwashed masses to oppose a Lodge?!

Page 10

Panel one: A close up on the pen as it is about to burst from the pressure Veronica's hand and both of Betty's and Jughead's are putting on it.


Panel two: A shot over all three as ink squirts out from the tip and hits the paper Veronica is holding high above the back of her head.

SFX: SPLLLOT

Panel three: Veronica slams the paper down before it gets on her hands.

Veronica: My manicure!

SFX: whm

Panel four: Archie looks down ecstatically to see that the paper has ink all over it, making it null and void. Betty and Jughead look on in disappointment while Veronica checks her manicure to see it's okay and breathes a sigh of relief.

Archie: The resolution! It's covered in ink! Do you know what this means?

Panel five: In the background ,Archie kicks his heels as he jumps for joy as he leaves The Chocklit Shop. Chloe and Bobbi shrug their shoulders as they watch Archie. Betty, In the foreground, Jughead, and Veronica eye the ruined resolution as they all share a light bulb over their heads.

Archie: It's null and void! I can make a new one!

Page 11.

Panel one: Archie is at his computer desk as he has a post-it with his resolution on his computer that reads: NY RES: Never keep my my eyes open and sneeze at the same time. On his computer desk is a wallpaper of Betty and Veronica each making half a heart and joining together with the other.

Archie: There! It may be simple, but I can do it!

Archie: At least we all learned a lesson from today.

Caption: Really, Archie? I wonder...

Panel two: Betty is on her computer as she has a document up in large print: NEW YEAR RESOLUTION: ARCHIE WILL FALL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH ME! Under the letters is a picture of Veronica with Betty using MS paint to draw a mustache and devil horns on her.

Betty: Feels better putting in into writing...and art.

Panel three: Veronica is using a quill pen as she writes on a blank papyrus scroll.  On the scrolls reads: ARCHIE ANDREWS WILL BE MINE---VL!! MR. Lodge looks over Veronica's shoulder in horror that she ruined a prized treasure and looks like he could feint.

Hiram Lodge: Veronica! What have you done to that scroll??

Veronica: Winning at love and making history, Daddykins.

Panel four: Jughead is in his room, on his bed, eating a slice of pizza as he has a marker and is writing on the lid of the Segarini's pizza lid reading: N Y RES: Make sure Archie does not date any girl.

Jughead: Shoulda thought of this years ago...


Caption: To our readers, HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

 Archie in Resolution Desolation.

Page 1

Panel one: Setting is The Andrews Living Room as Archie, sitting on a couch, is writing on a piece of paper as he has his tongue sticking out to one side as he focuses on what he is writing. The paper has several puncture holes and rips in it because of how careless Archie has been as he holds it up instead of using a book to help making writing on the paper easier. Vegas is next to him juggling a doggie treat on his nose, trying to gain Archie's attention to no avail. Behind Archie, Mr. Andrews is looking on curiously.

Mr. Andrews thinking: Ah, yes, it's the day before the New Year and it looks like Archie's finally come up with his resolution.

Panel two: Archie holds up the paper in pride with both hands as Mr. Andrews looks on. Vegas is grumpily eating the dog treat as he knows he's not getting noticed and just given up on it.

Archie: I've done it! The perfect resolution to improve myself for next year!

Panel three: Mr. Andrews reads the paper as Archie cringes as he is surprised by his father.

Mr. Andrews "Always wear matching socks."

Archie: Yeep!

Page 2

Panel one: Archie stands up and motions for Vegas to give him support, but Vegas walks away and sticks his tail straight up. Mr. Andrews begins to lecture Archie.

Mr. Andrews: Well, I suppose it's better than last year's "always rewind my blu-rays" or the year before that and "I swear to never lose a freckle".

Archie: Well, um, Pop, you see...

Panel two: Mr. Andrews waves the paper at Archie as Archie shifts his nose to his left and right to avoid the left lower corner of the paper as Mr. Andrews waves the paper at his face.

Mr. Andrews: Son, I don't see why you even bother making a New Year's resolution when you make it so simple you could literally do it in your sleep!


Panel three: Archie lowers his head in shame.

Archie: I know, I know. It's just—well, I know that if I make it difficult resolution there's no way I'm going to be able to do it.

Panel four: Mr. Andrews points his finger at Archie as Archie is encouraged by his father's words.

Mr. Andrews: That's because you see the glass half empty instead of half full!

Mr. Andrews: Have you ever thought about what if you do succeed? Not only will you show inner strength but you'll be a better man each and ever year going forward!

Panel five: Mr. Andrews sticks out his chest in pride as Archie is inspired.

Mr. Andrews: Like me! I kept my New Year's resolution and I was rewarded with the greatest prize: Self-Respect!

Panel six: Archie jumps up in the air as he pumps a fist high as Mr. Andrews nods in approval.

Archie: I'll do it!!

Page 3

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is walking into the kitchen as Mrs. Andrews is washing a few dishes as she eyes him with a smile.

Mr. Andrews: Mary, I'm proud to say, I think I finally got something into Archie's head, and it looks like it may just take!

Panel two: Mary smiles as she dries a dish with a cloth as Fred becomes nervous.

Mary: Oh, I heard darling. It was riveting. Hairs on my arms stood right up.

Fred: Oh...well good.

Panel three: Mr. Andrew begins to poor himself a cup of coffee as he's right next to Mary as she puts the dish in the drainer with the rest.

Mrs. Andrews: Fred, if I remember, wasn't your resolution for this year, "lose fifty pounds"?

Mr. Andrews: It was and I did.

Panel four: Mr. Andrew mischievously smiles at Mrs. Andrews as Mrs. Andrews lets the very soapy dish water out.

Mr. Andrews: I reset the scales back each and every time before my self imposed weigh-in every four months or so.


Panel five: Mrs. Andrews playfully gives Mr. Andrews a kiss on his cheek and rubs a few bubbles on the left side of his chin as he smiles.

Mrs. Andrews: Can't argue with that logic.

Mr. Andrews: Because it's sound? Clever?

Mrs. Andrews: No. My resolution was to be more tolerant of my silly husband.

Page 4

Panel one: The setting is now The Chocklit Shoppe as Archie is taking giant strides towards Jughead, who is at the counter eating a cheeseburger. Jughead points back at Archie to Pop Tate as Pop rolls his eyes. In the background, a mother with a baby boy wearing a banner reading: 2016 is leaving as Trula Twyst, Chuck, Vic, and Maria wave goodbye to him.

Archie: Jughead!

Jughead: Hey, Pop, never mind putting this on my tab.

Pop Tate: Must be nice having a walking, talking, stumbling, fumbling, freckle faced personal bank account.

Panel two: Archie slams a piece of paper on the counter while using his other hand to hand Pop Tate several dollar bills, automatically knowing he's got to pay for Jughead's meal. Jughead has finished off the burger and is licking his mouth of sauce.

Archie: I'm challenging myself! I'm going to make a big change this coming year! A new starting point for my life!

Jughead: If you can't keep up a bi-monthly schedule, I'm not interested.

Panel three: Jughead reads the paper as Archie's bravado fades.

Jughead: "I'm only going to date Betty or Veronica."

Panel four: Jughead turns to Archie as pulls at his hair to show how conflicted he is.

Jughead: Arch, pal o' mine, this isn't a new year's resolution, this ever day of your life since you were six.

Archie: Argggh! I know! I know!

Panel five: Archie sits down next to Jughead as he looks down forlonely at the paper. Jughead holds out his hands like a scale balancing between two items of near equal weight. Jughead is licking his lips as he thinks about the invisible food in both hands.


Archie: It's just so hard to pick just one! They're both so great!

Pop Tate: Archie, when I'm deciding what to put for the special of the month, I weigh the pro and cons of each.

Jughead: I can help with that.

Archie: Yeah...that might work...

(PAGES 5 + 6  are two panels across, three down to break up the pro and cons)


Page 5

Panel one: Betty is holding Archie's hand as they are walking up to a staircase as she is eager to show Archie something as she pulls him along as they both smile at each other.

Caption: Pro: Betty loves me totally, unquestionably.

Panel two: Betty is opening the door to her room and showing off her Archie-centric decoration as she has various posters, flat heads, and pictures of Archie on the walls. A bed sheet and pillow covers with Archie's face on them. On the bed is a teddy bear modeled after Archie. Archie is looking on in shock from the door frame as Betty motions with his arms for him to come in. Archie looks on apprehensively.

Caption: Con: She can be possessive.

Panel three: Betty is holding up a little bird that has fallen from his next as Archie looks down at it sympathetically. Both are kneeling.  Behind them is the tree that extends past the panel so the reader doesn't have a clear cut idea on how tall it is.

Caption: Pro: Betty is caring.

Pane four: High angle view. Archie is climbing a fifty foot tall tree with one hand as he tries to put the baby bird back in its nest. Archie is biting on to a limb and using his free hand to stay up as his feet are dangling. Soaring at him is an angry mother bird. Betty is nearly a dot from the high angle view.

Caption:  Con: She can care too much.

Panel five: Betty and Archie are walking into The Cooper living room as Mr. Cooper is reading his paper on his chair with the TV on and Mrs. Cooper is vaccuming. Each Cooper parent waves hello to Archie.

Caption: Pro: Betty's parents like me.

Panel six: A dejected Archie looks on at the aftermath of havoc his clumsiness has caused as Mr. Cooper sadly looks down at his broken chair and the vacuum has broken in the container and sprayed Mrs. Cooper with the dirt she had collected. Also there is a giant hole in the wall and the TV is on fire Betty gives Archie a pat on his shoulder. Mr. Cooper has a thought balloon of a dollar bill with wings flying out of an empty wallet.

Caption: But they don't like having me over.


Page 6

Panel one: The setting is the beach as Veronica and Archie (Both in swim suits) are running down the shore line arm in arm as they are enjoying each other's company and having fun.

Caption: Pro: Veronica is fun.

Panel two: Archie looks over to see that Veronica is gone from his side. In the background, Veronica is surrounded by several beach hunks who are gushing over her as she happily basks in their admiration. One is offering her an ice cream while another is on his knees proposing.

Caption: Con: Veronica likes to have fun with other guys.

Panel three: A shot of Archie and Veronica in a forest with other people as they are all wearing a shirt reading SAVE THE WOODS. Archie and Veronica are handing out fliers to various people as they walk by. Archie is looking at another female volunteer handing out pins as small hearts are over his head. Veronica rolls her eyes towards Archie as she hands a small child a green frisbee.

Caption: Pro: Veronica is a lot more loving and caring than she lets on.

Panel four: An enraged Veronica is chasing Archie past the female volunteer as she has a giant tree limb over the back of her head with both arms as she plans to clobber Archie as Archie scrambles for his life.

Caption: Con: Veronica has a temper she gladly shows everyone.


Panel five: Veronica is welcoming Archie into The Lodge Mansion as he looks around at all the antiques, paintings, and high tech television as Veronica smiles proudly.

Caption: Pro: Veronica welcomes me into her home with open arms.

Panel six: Mr. Lodge is tossing Archie out of the house as Archie lands on his stomach and does a belly flop.

Caption: Con: Mr. Lodge escorts me out of his home head first.

 Archie and Jughead in Winter Christmas Double Date

Page one

Panel one: The setting is the North Pole as Noelle Claus is at the actual pole of the North Pole as she sadly looks around at all the elves as they are busy carrying toys just behind her. Jingles has an army of teddy bear toys following his orders as they march in line. Sugarplum fairy is shining Rudolph's nose with a white cloth as the other reindeers look on enviously. In the background is the candy cane gates that lead to Santa's workshop.

Noelle: Sigh.

Noelle: Dad's checking his list, the elves are loading the toys, and Rudolph is getting his nose shined up...

Noelle: ...And once again, another night without a date for Noelle Claus!

Panel two: Noelle frowns as she looks ahead.

Noelle: It sure stinks to be the only teenage girl in the north pole!

Panel three: Noelle rolls her eyes upwards as it begins to lightly snow just on her.

Voice above panel: You think you have problems, girl? Try Global Warming.

Panel three: Noelle happily looks up to see Jackie Frost riding a ice sleigh as she smiles and waves her hand to stop the snow from falling on Noelle.

Noelle: Jackie Frost!

Jackie Frost: How are you doing, Noelle? Not on your daddy's naughty list this year I hope.

Page 2

Panel one: Noelle crosses her arms around her chest as she looks back as she reflects on her day. Jackie Frost is landing on the ground right next to her.

Noelle: No. But if someone made a list of the top ten bored people in the world, Noelle Claus would be numero uno.


Panel two: Noelle playfully elbows Jackie Frost as Jackie Frost blushes.

Noelle: But enough about me—still nipping at the boys' noses?

Jackie Frost: Well, actually...

Panel three: Jackie Frost is talking as Noelle squints her left eye and tilts her head.

Jackie Frost: Just one boy in particular. I was going to Riverdale to check up on Jughead Jones.

Noelle: Jughead...? Why?

Panel four: Jackie Frost uses her magic to create a snowman and puts a carrot on it for the nose as Noelle chuckles.

Jackie Frost: What can I say? His nose reminds me of a snowman.

Noelle: Jackie, you're a certified whacko!

Panel five: Noelle talks with Jackie as Jackie uses her powers to turn the snowman into an ice sculpture of Archie.

Noelle:  know a cute guy in Riverdale. Red hair, freckles.

Jackie: Yeah, Jughead's best friend. Archie, right?

Noelle: That's the name and that's him!

Page 3

Panel one: Noelle and Jackie both put a hand on their chin as the both lower their heads as they both think

Panel two: Noelle and Jackie Frost both rolls their eyes towards the other and remove their hands to show both are grinning.

Panel three: A close-up on the happy faces of the two as they are nearly nose to nose and say the exact same thing.

Noelle and Jackie: CHRISTMAS WINTER DOUBLE DATE!!!

Panel four: Jackie and Noelle are on Jackie's sleigh as they fly into the sky and in front of the moon. On the North Pole is a note that Sugarplum Fairy and Jingles are looking up with worried expressions. Rudolph's nose is too bright as it is blinding reindeer and elf alike as he shows it off.

Jackie: Think the boys will be happy to see us?

Noelle: More than presents under the tree and full stockings on Christmas morning.

Page 4

Panel one: The setting is Pickens Park with temperature around 70.  It is the afternoon as Archie and Jughead are talking. Jughead is shivering uncontrollably as Archie looks on concerned. Nearby the three park squirrels are fanning an extremely hot penguin.

Archie: Jug, what's the matter? It's not that cold out this year.

Jughead: I sense something. An approaching evil. A dark entity. It—it chills me to the bone.

Panel two: Archie glares at Jughead as Jughead suddenly goes back to his normal self as he wipes imaginary sweat from his brow. As they talk, overhead a wind carrying several snow flakes passes over their heads.

Archie: Aw, that's a bunch of baloney.

Jughead: Baloney you say? Pop Tate has the best grilled baloney sandwiches! Then again his burgers are better. Burgers instead then!

SFX of the wind: WWEEEOOOOOO

Panel three: Archie happily turns his head as Jughead rolls his eyes.

Noelle off-panel: Hello, Archie. Guess what?  Christmas has come early this year!

Archie: Oboy!

Jughead: Oh no.

Panel four: Noelle and Jackie are standing in front of Archie and Jughead. Noelle is blowing a blue kiss to Archie as Archie goes weak in the knees and they buckle. Jackie waves a friendly hand at Jughead as Jughead frowns and turns his body away.

Noelle: How about taking us two young ladies on a double date, boys?

Archie: Guh

Jackie Frost: Is that a yes?

Jughead: No hable english.

Page 5

Panel one: A close-up on Archie's face and Jughead as they are hit with a snowball each.

Archie: What--?

SFX: PAFF

Jughead: Hey--!

SFX: PIFF

Panel two: Reggie is laughing his head off as he points and laugh at equally frustrated Jughead and Archie. Noelle and Jackie look at Reggie with contempt for interrupting their fun.

Reggie: Hyuk Hyuk! Took me hours to scrap the freezer for those snowballs but it was worth!!

Panel three: Reggie flashes Noelle and Jackie a smile as he sticks out his chest in pure bravado mode.

Reggie: Why don't you two lovely ladies dump the chumps and date the man of fate?

Panel four: Noelle and Jackie turn to each other with wicked grins.

Panel five: Jackie Frost uses her powers to arm her and Noelle with snowballs as they both look ahead with mischievous smiles from ear to ear.

Panel six: Reggie has been left pummeled with extra large snow balls as several people looking on have no idea how that happened. Archie has Noelle by the arm while Jughead reluctantly walks beside Jackie Frost as they leave the area.

Archie: I think we owe the ladies a little something.

Jughead. Yeah. Very little, like the size of a dime. Your dime specifically.

Page 6

Panel one:  The setting is the Chocklit Shoppe as Archie and Noelle is happily eating a burger as Archie watches her with a dopey expression on his face as he is completely mesmerized by her. Pop Tate looks on with a smile as he cleans a glass with a dish clouth.

Noelle: Ummm...

Noelle: This is good!

Panel two: A full shot as we can see Noelle, Archie, Jughead, and Jackie Frost sitting at the front counter of the Chocklit Shoppe. Noelle is happily eating her cheeseburger while Archie looks on; Archie has his own hamburger on his plate that he is moving towards Noelle. Jughead has a piping hot hamburger while Jackie Frost has a chocolate sundae she is eating with a small ice spoon. Jughead protests Archie giving Noelle his burger. Unknown to him, Jackie is beginning to work her magic on his burger.

Noelle: All we have at the North Pole are snow cones and candy canes! You going to eat yours?

Archie: Help yourself, snowflake.

Jughead: Hey! Archie's burgers are my burgers!

Panel three: Jughead picks up his burger and prepares to take a bite as he happily turns his attention back to his own.

Jughead: Oh well.

Panel four: Jughead bites down as he reacts like he just bit a brick as the burger has been frozen solid thanks to Jackie Frost.

SFX: CRRUNNCH

Panel five: Jughead shakes his frozen burger at Jackie Frost as Jackie Frost brushes his complaints aside as she happily continues to enjoy her sundae.

Jughead: Hey! I ordered a burger, not a TV dinner!

Jackie: It's better this way. Keeps all the taste in one spot. You'll thank me later.

Page 7

Panel one: Betty and Veronica begin to walk into the Chocklit Shop. Betty is happily talking with Veronica as Veronica looks ahead in anger.

Betty: So what do you want for Christmas this year, Ronnie?

Veronica: I'll tell you what I want right now—

Panel two: Veronica and Betty begin to storm towards Archie and Noelle as Archie has a worried expression on her face while Noelle happily finishes of the second burger and uses a napkin to clean her mouth.

Veronica: --Archie's head on a platter for talking to another girl behind our backs!

Archie: Whuh-oh.

Panel three: Veronica is yelling at Noelle as Noelle glares up at Veronica. Betty is standing beside Veronica to show her support.

Veronica: And just who do you think you are sitting next to our Archie?!

Noelle Claus: Noelle Claus. Santa Claus' daughter. And you must be leaving. Wouldn't want on the list, would you?

Panel four: Veronica and Noelle go nose to nose as they glare at each other defiantly.

Veronica: I'm Veronica Lodge. My daddy is Hiram Lodge, one of the richest men alive. I never had to worry about your father's naughty list, frostbite.

Noelle: I wasn't talking about the naughty list. I was talking about MY list. You and your friend do not want on it.

Panel five: Veronica is defiant as she tilts her nose up and strikes a pose. Betty stands next to her and does the same to show support. Noelle turns her head towards Jackie Frost as Jackie Frost begins to form a small winter wind vortex around her right hand. Archie is hiding under his seat. Jughead is licking his frozen hamburger like an ice cream bar and not paying attention to anything that is happening.

Veronica: Try us.

Betty: Yeah!

Noelle: Fine. Jackie, you happen to have a pen on you?

Jackie: Why yes I do.

Page 8

Panel one: Betty and Veronica are being chased out of the Chocklit Shop by a giant snowball.

Betty: That's Santa's daughter?!

Veronica: She must be adopted!!

Panel two: Noelle pulls Archie to his feet as she prepares to leave with him. Ahead of them, Jackie is dragging Jughead along as Jughead continues to lick his hamburger. The entire Chocklit Shoppe has frozen over with the floor now icy, tables and chairs frozen, and icicles hanging from the ceiling. Pop Tate is shaking uncontrollably and his teeth are chattering as he can't control himself.

Noelle: So what else does Riverdale have to offer, Archie?

Archie: Well, the Riverdale Cinema is just a block or two away--

Panel three: Archie, Jughead, Noelle, and Jackie Frost are walking by the Riverdale Cinema as Noelle runs to it as she pulls Archie along. Jackie Frost laughs at the two while Jughead rolls his eyes.

Noelle: A movie theater!

Panel four: Archie and Noelle are at the ticket booth as they are getting the tickets. On the wall beside the booth are two posters. One for Nova Blast: Hope Returns Again Twice (a parody of the new Star Wars movie). The other poster is Merry Christmas from the North Pole, Happy Holidays from the South Pole. The poster has a picture of a buff elf at the North Pole and a extremely beautiful Christmas fairy riding a polar bear at the South Pole.

Ticket Master: So what do you kids wanna see?

Noelle: ...You have movies that are not "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34^th Street"?


Panel five: Noelle happily jumps for joy as Archie sadly takes what few dollars he has out of his wallet. Jackie Frost is in the background asking Jughead a question as Jughead poses like a jedi knight as his response.

Noelle: Both! Let's watch both!

Archie: I wonder if Santa will put some reimbursements in my stockings?

Page 9

Panel one: Some time later as the gang leave the movie theater. Noelle is wearing 3D glasses and is thrilled with what she's seen as Archie looks at her with a smile. Behind her, Jackie Frost and Jughead have a mock light saber battle with icicles, much to the confusion of several people around them.

Noelle: Those movies where great! Who knew movies didn't have to do with holidays?

Panel two: Archie points to the nearby Pickens Park as Noelle and Jackie agree. Jughead is dismayed.

Archie: How about a walk around Pickens Park to stretch our legs after hours of sitting?

Noelle: Perfect.

Jackie: Sure.

Jughead: The flaw of democracy, people.

Panel three: Noelle and Archie walk together as Noelle looks around the park disappointed. Jughead is trying his best to walk ahead of Jackie Frost, but she keeps keeping up with him much to his dismay.

Noelle: Hm. This is nice. But walking is boring. Can we do something else?

Archie: Well, normally during winter, we get a good snow where we can build snowmen and snowball fights...

Archie: ... but the temp has been record high this time of year.

Noelle: Is that so?

Panel four: Noelle looks back at Jackie as Jackie Frost waves her hands as she prepares to work her magic.

Noelle: What do you think about that, Miss Frost?

Jackie Frost: I think therefore I am. And I am winter personified therefore...

Page 10

Panel one: Mr. Weatherbee and Ms. Grundy are walking along in Pickens Park as they are dressed in spring clothing. Ms. Grundy begins to shiver as a cold breeze blows past her.

Mr. Weatherbee: I wouldn't mind if we had weather like this all winter.

Ms. Grundy: Brrrr! Did it just get colder or is it just me?

Panel two: Mr. Weatherbee and Mrs. Grundy walk a bit further in Pickens Park as they can't believe that what the see. In an area of Pickens Park that has six inches of snow, Noelle and Archie are trying to build a snowman, but Archie trips and knocks it over as Noelle laughs at him. Jackie Frost and Jughead have their snowman done as Jughead puts his hat on top of it. Nearby a disco duck is on a small sled being pulled by the Pickens Park squirrels as he strikes John Travolta pose. The penguin from earlier is happily swimming around in the snow. Several other kids are making snow angels and throwing snowballs at each other.

Mr. Weatherbee: I've heard of isolated rain, but pin point accurate snow--?!

Panel three: Jackie Frost begins to freeze the pond as Noelle and Archie are making snow angels next to each other. Jughead is standing next to Jackie Frost as he is eating a snowcone.

Jughead: What are you up to?

Jackie Frost: Soda and milk are better ice cold, right? This will be too!

Panel four: Still at Pickens Park only the duck pond has been frozen as Archie and Noelle are slipping on the ice as Noelle tries to steady the slipping uncontrollably Archie. Jughead is casually skating by the two with a shrug shoulder as Jackie Frost looks at him impressed. Several ducks are skating across the ice along with a conga line of small children. The three squirrels have dug a small ice hole and are using an acorn as bait for a fish who looks at the acorn with disgust. The penguin is sliding along doing the king of the world pose as several ducks and geese make way and bow.

Archie: Sorry, I'm not that good of a skater!

Noelle: Really? I couldn't tell.

Jackie: Wow. I'm impressed. What's your secret?

Jughead: If I told, it wouldn't be a secret.


Page 11

Panel one: Archie, Jughead, and the girls are getting off the ice pond as the children and the animals continue to have fun behind them.

Archie: Man, this has been fun!

Noelle: Now, what should we do next?

Panel two: Noelle frowns as she knows her fun has just ended.

Voice off-panel one: How about stop what you're doing...

Voice off-panel two: ...And come home before Santa Claus worries his beard off?!


Panel three: Noelle and Jackie Frost look up Sugarplum fairy and Jingles the elf are floating above head. Sugarplum is focusing on Noelle while Jingles is pointing at Jackie. Both girls are disappointed that their fun is over.

Sugarplum fairy: Noelle, you know better than wander off without telling anyone!

Noelle: Hmph.

Jingles: And Jackie Frost, this is winter time, you have a job to do!

Jackie: I need to join a union.

Panel three: Noelle reaches inside of her coat pocket as a disappointed Archie looks on.

Archie: You really have to go?

Noelle: 'Fraid so, daddy sent his top henchmen for me, but I do have a gift for you.

Panel four: Archie has a snow globe in his hands that has a small blue doorway in it with fake snow on the ground around it.

Noelle off-panel: Here. A special snow globe. On any December day turn it upside down and right side up and I'll appear.

Archie: Cool!

Page 12

Panel one: Jackie Frost gives an unmoved Jughead a kiss on the cheek.

Jackie Frost: Maybe we'll get lucky and the groundhog will see his shadow, Jughead. How does six more weeks of winter grab you?

Panel two: Jughead begins to wipe the kiss off his face as he responds.

Jughead: Like the cold, clammy hands of death.

Panel three: Jackie walks away and waves goodbye as she blushes. Jughead's palm is stuck to his face like a tongue to a frozen metal pole in winter as he can't free it.

Jackie: Brrrr. The cold shoulder. I love it.


Panel four: High angle view as Jackie Frost and Noelle are in the ice sled as they fly off along side Sugarplum fairy and Jingles the elf. Noelle waves back at Archie as Sugarplum fairy looks on jealously. Jingles is stroking his beard and trying to impress Jackie Frost, who playfully winks at him to not hurt his feelings. Below them, Archie is waving goodbye with one arm and Jughead is waving goodbye with one hand as the other hand is still stuck to his face.

Jackie Frost whispering: So New Year is right around the corner...

Noelle Claus whispering: You read my mind, girlfriend.





MERRY CHRISTMAS

Maybe I'm talking crazy...but instead of creating new characters...why not try and make Chuck and Nancy interesting? I mean, back in the day, Chuck was pretty great as this guy who had a bit of a chip on his shoulder. Problem became the art angle took over and it became "Chuck is drawing something" and that was it for him. I think in one of the old Archie titles he was Archie's sidekick because I have digests with the two and they were actually pretty fun.

And as for Nancy...Nancy...

...

Fine. Toni Topaz might be better because of the hat.


And yeah, I don't get why you ditch the entire classic line. Why not bring back Pep Comics and have them star the classic characters and either bring in the classic artists or just do what a lot of companies are doing...just go on deviant art and find talent for cheap.

 Panel one: At the Jones Family table it is after the Thanksgiving meal with the entire table picked clean. A pork shoulder bone is on one plate, a turkey carcass on another, several empty pie and cake trays, and Jughead is gulping down the last bit of soda in a two liter bottle as Mr. Jones, Jellybean, and Mrs. Jones look on. Peeking over the edge of the table is Hot Dog.

Jughead: Gulp Gulp

Mr. Jones: Dear, I think you out did yourself, Thanksgiving dinner came and went much faster this year.

Mrs. Jones: No, he's just a growing boy.

Mr. Jones: I think we'll both need second jobs.

Panel two: Jughead walks away from the table along with Mr. Jones, carrying Jellybean away. Hot Dog has a drumstick he is happily carrying in his mouth. Mrs. Jones looks on in horror at the dishes she has to do all by herself.

Jughead: Well off to slip into my festive food coma.

Mr. Jones: Football for me.

Hot Dog: Digging holes and burying bones, it's the simple life for me!

Mrs. Jones: !!!

Panel three: Mrs. Jones angrily begins to gather plates as she comments to herself. Jughead is in the door frame as what his mother says piques his interest.

Mrs. Jones: Well, at least I don't have to worry about storing leftovers like other families!!

Page 2

Panel one: A close-up on Jughead's face as he taps his chin with his index finger.

Jughead: "Leftovers...I've heard of this word before but remember not its meaning.

Panel two: Jughead motions his hand at his mouth as he finally remembers what leftovers are.

Jughead: Now I remember! Leftovers is when you have more food than you can eat and you save it for later.

Panel three: Jughead scratches the back of his head as he begins to open the door to his room.

Jughead: Never put that concept in practice myself, but I bet most people do.

Panel four: Jughead is sitting on his bed as he slaps his fist on his open palm as he smiles.

Jughead: I know people! Lots of people!

Jughead: Hu-rah! An untapped market for me to sink my teeth into.

Panel five: Jughead begins to get drowsy as he yawns and stretches his arms.

Jughead: Yyyaaawwwn.

Jughead: And I'll get right on to it...

Panel six: Jughead falls back asleep on his bed as he begins to snore.

Jughead: ...tomorrow when I waaaakkkezzzzzzzzzzzz

Page 2

Panel one: Inside of Archie's kitchen as he is pulling out what is left over of his pecan pie.

Caption: Tomorrow.

Archie: What's left of my favorite desert in my hand...

Panel two: Archie looks over as he sees through the kitchen window Jughead's face as he has his tongue sticking out and is acting like an indoor dog that wants back inside the home.

Archie: ...And my best friend's at the door.

Archie: I know where this is going, and I'm sure I'm not going to be the one who needs to floss in the next few minutes.

Panel three: Archie opens the door as Jughead (wearing a navy blue sweatshirt) begins to sniff the air as he grabs the pecan pie as Archie gives an aside glance to the readers in an "I told you so" type manner.

Jughead: Hiya pal ol' buddy thought I'd pay a visit and....

Jughead: Say, do I smell the aroma of pecans and other provisions in cold storage?

Archie: You may.

Panel four: Jughead runs past Archie and makes a dive for the kitchen while taking the pecan pie with him.

Jughead: I will!

Archie No! Wait! I meant—

Jughead: Help myself? Don't mind if I do!

Panel five: Archie looks on in bane as Jughead has the entire pie plate at his mouth as he begins to gobble pie down as Archie looks on in disbelief. With a free hand, Jughead begins to open up the near by refridgerator.

Jughead: smak snarf yum chew

Archie: You give Black Friday a whole new meaning, Jug.

Panel six: Archie looks at Jughead as Jughead looks at his navy blue sweatshirt as Archie face palms.

Jughead: No, this is navy blue. A common mistake.

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead, picking his teeth with a toothpick is walking out of the Archie home, as an angry Archie looks on.

Jughead: Well, later, Arch. It's such a beautiful day, I think I'll (burp) visit a few of my other friends.

Panel two: Archie slams the door as he is upset Jughead ate all the pecan pie.

Archie: Around this time, most people are getting ready for Christmas—

SFX: SLAM

Archie: --But he's still got his Halloween mindset cemented in!

Panel three: Archie's eyes light up as he has a thought.

Archie: Wait...

Archie: Jughead is on a food binge and no one's refrigerator is safe! I have to warn the community or we could have a food shortage.

Panel four: Archie pulls out his cellphone as he begins to text Archie. On the cellphone is A.Andrews: Bets, j2lyk, Jug is on food binge. Watch fingers.

Archie: I'd better text Betty and warn her first.

Panel five: A close up on Archie's phone as he is surprised to see a sad smiley face designed like Betty as Betty's reply.

Panel six: Inside of the Cooper kitchen as Betty sadly looks on as Jughead is in the kitchen holding a drumstick and drinking a soda as he continues to rummage.

Jughead: Wow! Look at all these vitals.

Betty: That was going to last us for days.

Jughead: And be in the way of new food. When does your family shop for groceries again?

Page 4

Panel one: Reggie is reading a text on his phone as he has a smirk ear to ear.

Reggie: So snout nose is making a pig out of himself, huh? That works out just fine.

Panel two: Reggie is crumbling up leftover turkey meat into a taco and is pouring Uncle Blaster's Volcano sauce. The sauce is so hot, it's cooking the turkey meat and the taco.

Reggie: Far be it for me not to put a stupid animal out of my misery!

Panel three: Reggie is running out with the turkey taco as he chuckles to himself.

Reggie: Nyuk Nyuk! I'll burn his tongue so bad he'll need a taste bud transplant!

Panel four: Reggie is running up to Jughead as Jughead is casually walking down the sidewalk, barely paying Reggie any mind.

Reggie: Jughead, I want you to try out this turkey taco my mom made!

Panel five: Jughead holds a hand up to show he's passing as Reggie glares at him and shakes the turkey taco as if trying to use it to attract Jughead back.

Jughead: Pass.

Reggie: Hey! What's your problem!? My mom is an excellent cook, you gangly gastronome!

Panel six: Jughead quips at Reggie as Reggie turns red with rage as he grits his teeth.

Jughead: Nothing against your mom...but she doesn't have the best track record.

Jughead: She did make you after all.

Page 5

Panel one: Reggie runs in front of Jughead.

Reggie: Don't you talk that way about my mother!

Jughead: You're right. Your dad deserves his fair share of the blame.

Panel two: Reggie takes a bite out of  the turkey taco.

Reggie: Y'know what?! You don't deserve anything but to watch me eat this delicacy!

SFX: CRUNCH

Panel three: Reggie' face lights up bright red and flames are in his eyes to show how hot the turkey taco was.

Panel four: Reggie runs off as his entire body is lit on fire as he lets the turkey taco fly into the air with Jughead reaching to grab it.

Reggie: AAAAAAAAHHHHH

Panel five: Jughead is taking a bite out of the turkey taco to no effect as he enjoys it. In the background, Reggie is on all fours as he I drinking from Runty's water bowl as Runty looks on annoyed.

Jughead: It's okay, but could use a little cayenne to pep it up a bit.

Page 6

Panel one: Veronica is looking out a window in her mansion as she is on her cellphone. She sneers as she sees Jughead, slumped over, heading towards her door.

Veronica: Well well, looks like The Turkey that digested Thanksgiving is plodding my way.

Veronica: ...Archiekins, I have nothing but the best intentions for dear sweet Juggie.

Panel two: Jughead is preparing to knock on the door as he is thinking what to say.

Jughead thinking: "So, Ronnie, you're looking lovely today, wanna celebrate the miracle?"

Jughead thinking: No, that's more an Ethel conversation starter...

Panel three: Veronica opens the door as she feigns being happy to see Jughead.

Veronica: Am I glad to see you!!

Jughead: You've gone blind?

Panel four: Veronica is dragging Jughead inside as she leads the way.

Veronica: Only you can help me out of my predicament!

Jughead: You're blind and doomed. How the mighty have fallen.

Panel five: Veronica opens the door to the Lodge banquet hall as it is filled with thanksgiving leftovers. Jughead looks on with his tongue sitting out and his eyes open.

Veronica: My family hasn't the space for all the leftover food from the Thanksgiving banquet. I suppose we'll have to throw it all in the trash unless...

Panel six: A small panel of Jughead rushing ahead as Veronica gives the reader an aside glance.

Jughead: Okay, I'll help, but you owe me big for this.

Veronica thinking: Oh that's why I'm doing this.


Page 7

Panel one: Jughead is beginning to eat a giant piece of cake as he reaches for a left over turkey wing as he happily eats.

Jughead: Gaston's pastries, his Michelin star turkey stuffing, and the flock of the bird of yesterday! What more can a guy with an appetite for culinary ask for?!

Panel two; Jughead has his jeans unbelted as his stomach is pooched out as he leans back in his chair as he strains to eat the bite of food he is chewing. On the banquet table, 3/5^th of the massive food remains.

Caption two hours later.

Jughead: Hn. My stomach and brain are telling me to stop. Don't think they've ever agreed before.

Jughead: (burp). It's unanimous.

Panel three: Jughead tries to get up as Veronica is holding a bowl of pudding with a spoon in it as Jughead tries to wave her off.

Veronica: But you haven't even tried the vanilla pudding with a dash of lavender.

Jughead: I never thought I would say this, but this one, food is like women: I've had enough of both for the day.

Panel four: Veronica shoves a spoonful of food into Jughead's mouth as Jughead's eyes bulge out as he falls back in his chair. Smithers and another male servant are walking towards Jughead.

Veronica: Oh but I insist!

Jughead: Bluurrrrhhh

Panel five: Veronica looks on as Smithers pries Jughead's mouth open as the other servant begins slide a tray of yams into his gullet.

Jughead: Ronnie! Please! I can't eat anymore! I'm full!!

Veronica: You can never fill up a bottomless pit.

Veronica: Gentleman, make sure he licks the plates clean.

Page 8

Panel one: The Jones family is at the kitchen table as she has prepared chicken legs and corn on the cob.

Mr. Jones: Jughead, hasn't come back for dinner? It's not like him to miss his fifth meal of the day.

Mrs. Jones: Well, we can't wait forever for him.

Panel two: The Jones Family looks on in surprise at what they see off-panel.

Jughead: Actually, I'm not too hungry right now.  I was thinking on waiting on the food and have it a little later.

Jughead: It's called something....it's right on the tip of my tongue...


Panel three: The Jones family is surprised to see a ballooned up Jughead (looking three hundred pounds heavier) walking into the room as he puts his hand over his mouth. Jellybean pushes her food away form her, afraid she'll look like Jughead if she eats. Mr. and Mrs. Jones jaws are dropped. Hot Dog is shaking his head at Jughead.

Jughead: Leftovers. That's the word.

Hot Dog: I have a word for you.



Hot Dog: Liposuction.





THE END.


The End.

 Black Friday Frenzy

Page 1


Panel one: The setting is Betty Cooper driving her car with Veronica in the passenger seat as she uses a car mirror to fix her hair and admire her lip stick.

Betty: I really appreciate you coming with me, Veronica. The best deals are on Black Friday, but—I have trouble getting anything. I could use the help.

Veronica: Think nothing of it, Betty. It'll be fun watching you forage around for your discount DVDs, half off blouses and such and such.

Panel two:  Betty is talking with Veronica as Veronica arrogantly waves her off.

Betty: I don't think you know how hard it is too shop on Black Friday, Ronnie.

Veronica: I go to the most extravagant of boutiques where the cream of the crop scratch and claw for the best of the best.

Veronica: This is just a fun little divesion.

Panel three: A shot of Betty Cooper as she has a sly smile as she points ahead. Veronica's eyes widen and her eyes drop at what she sees.

Betty: This is you're idea of a diversion.

Veronica: !!!

Page 2 +3

Panel one: A large panel showing Bal Mart as the Cooper car pulls into the parking lot as the entire parking lot is crammed with cars, with every space full. One angry man is shaking his fist at two kids who are taking their time on the cross walk. Two cars have pulled in and got in each others way for a parking spot. The main entrance to Bal-Mart is clogged with people who tried to go in all at once. A Bal-Mart employee is protesting alone as he has a sign reading: THE LONE MAN PROTEST!!! A small old lady with a 50 inch TV in her shopping cart and a fat guy with a Turkey Roaster are racing down a parking lane. A car driving along the parking lot is waving the white flat. A man is struggling to fit his TVs, DVDs, and various cooking appliances into his trunk. At another section of the parking lot, A husband angrily waits for his wife as she cannot get out of her side of the car because the car next to her has a group of people just chatting the day away. The wife gives her husband a "what can I do?" shrug. A security guard is chasing after a woman wearing an overcoat bursting with jewelry and necklaces. A car barely puts the brake on as a kid runs out in front of him; the kid's mother is rushing over to grab him. The kid is playing with an action figure to notice what almost happened. Across the street is a C-Mart where a few cars have parked with the people crossing the street to get to Bal-Mart as a sad C-mart employee points to their building, but is ignored by everyone. Traffic if is blocked because of the lines of people just casually crossing the street to get to Bal-Mart.

Panel two: Veronica looks out her side of the window as two angry middle age men are ramming their shopping carts at each other as a Bal-Mart attendant rushes to stop them.

Veronica: It's like Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons fighting over shiny stones!

Panel three: Betty looks over and grins at Veronica and gently nudges her with her elbow.

Betty: Still up to helping me forage?

Panel four: Veronica folds her arms and scowls as she gets her game face on as Betty is surprised.

Veronica: Park the car, give me your list, and stay close to me or you will not survive.

Page 4

Panel one: Betty and Veronica walk inside as they are in between where the carts are stationed and the actual area of the store. In front of them several people are fighting over carts. One man is trying to separate his cart from three others as his wife rolls his eyes at him. Two high school teenage boys are having a tug of war over a cart as they both pull with all of their might.

Betty: Wow! This is even crazier than last year! People are fighting tooth and nail over the shopping carts!

Panel two: Veronica walks past Betty as Betty looks on confused. Veronica has a fake smile on her face and is flipping her hair back.

Veronica: Good. They're not using the right weapons.

Betty: What are you...?

Veronica: Just watch.

Panel three: Veronica swerves her body and winks at the teens as they have hearts over their eyes.

Veronica: My, what wondrously gallant men! If only one of you could help me and my blond friend retrieve a cart.

Panel four: Veronica is wheeling the shopping cart inside as she has a triumphant smile on her face as a morally opposed Betty follows beside her. In the background the two love stuck teens both have lipstick kisses on a face cheek as they look on. As Betty and Veronica go in a Bal-Mart greeter is checking a foot long list receipt as a man with two filled to the brink shopping carts texts on his phone. The Bal-Mart mascot (A red ball with black arms and legs with white gloves and white sneakers) is being chased by a junior high basketball team. The Bal-Mart mascot has a paper with 20% off taped to his back causing his trouble.

Betty: Ronnie, that was a little sneaky, wasn't it?

Veronica: Yes. Just a little sneaky compared to what else I'll have to do.

Page 5

Panel one: Betty and Veronica looks ahead as in front of her are various shoppers with carts as they are zooming every which way with several colliding with each other. A man barely avoids being run down by a gang of old people on motorized carts. A small boy is carrying a super hero action figure three times his size.

Betty: Maybe we can go around?

Veronica: No. We're going through.

Betty: How? Look at all this traffic!

Panel two: Veronica lowers her head and grips the cart handle like she were a race car driver as she looks ahead with a fierce, determined, devil may care grin.

Veronica: Like General Sherman told the people of Atlanta, "Leap, follow, or get out of my way!"

Betty: What does that mean--?

Panel three: Veronica dashes ahead as she cuts off a fat man in his motorized cart who is eating a bag of Doritos and drinking mountain dew as he spills his drink on himself. A small child barely dodges Veronica, and as Veronica goes she uses one hand to stiff arm a body builder. Betty looks on in shock at Veronica's actions.

Veronica: THIS!

Panel four: Betty runs along as she looks back at the fat man who is licking his shirt as he scowls towards Betty, the kid who sticks out his tongue, and the body builder who is crying that he got over powered by a teenage girl as a nearby sumo wrestler laughs at him.

Betty: Sorry!

Betty: Sorry!

Betty: Really sorry!

Panel five: Betty has caught up with Veronica as Veronica continues to dash ahead with ruthless aggression. Behind the two a ten cart pile up has happened with various men and women covered in clothing, jewelry, dvds, shoes, and their shopping carts. Betty looks back and continues to apologize.

Betty: We're really sorry!! I swear, she's a pleasant person!! Don't think ill of her!!

Page 6

Panel one: Betty and Veronica are in the women's clothing section as Betty begins to scold Veronica as Veronica just ignores her. Behind them, a seven foot tall woman is holding up a blouse in the air so a four foot tall woman cannot get it.

Betty: I can't believe you did that!

Veronica: I am but what circumstances make of me.

Panel two: Betty continues to talks with Veronica as Veronica smirks.

Betty: "Circumstances make of me"! You almost ran over some nice old lady!

Veronica: Circumstantially, she should not have been in my way—

Panel three: Veronica turns to talk frankly with Betty.

Veronica: --And that was not a nice old lady! There is no "nice" person in this building! Everyone is cutthroat and out for themselves!

Panel four: Betty boldly replies as Veronica rolls her eyes.

Betty: I'm a nice person!

Veronica: And that's the problem...

Panel five: Veronica turns and points at the four foot woman who is standing over the unconscious seven foot woman while admiring her recently won blouse. Betty is still adamant in morals and ethics and she rolls her eyes as Veronica goes on her charade.   Blasting past Betty are two shoppers grind their carts wheels together, creating sparks as they dash by.

Veronica: You're not going to get anything you want on Black Friday if you try to be noble and kind!

Veronica: You fight fire with napalm! They push and shove, you punch and kick! They start a fight, you give them a war!


Page 7

Panel one: Betty and Veronica continue on their way as Veronica rolls her eyes in frustration.

Betty: Look, most of what I'm buying is Christmas presents! I just don't want them tarnished.

Veronica: Just wrap them nicely enough and no one will care...

Panel two: Betty and Veronica are in the female jeans, shirt, and dress section as various females of all ages are climbing over each other, fighting, and tugging at piece of clothing they want for themselves. Along the aisles are signs reading: 75% off, 90%, and finally PLEASE NO FATALITIES THIS YEAR!!! A Bal-Mart worker backs away as he wants no part in this. Betty shrugs her shoulders as she points at her wrist at an imaginary watch while Veronica waves her off.

Betty: Huh. I guess we have to wait.

Veronica: Waiting is for the poor and destitute! I'm a Lodge! Lodges do not wait; Lodges lead the way!

Panel three: Veronica pulls her cart and Betty to the side as she begins to yell at the top of her lungs.

Veronica: JUST IN! SHOES 50% OFF, SECOND PAIR 25 DOLLAR DISCOUNT!!

Panel four: Veronica proudly looks on as all the female shoppers dash the other way with their carts as they head for the shoes. The Bal-Mart worker is caught in the middle like a cowboy in a stampede as he gets battered by shopping carts and shopping bags. A worried Betty looks on in concern as Veronica waves him off.

Veronica: Now we'll have pick of the bunch and no one got hurt.

Betty: What about him?

Veronica: He works here. He doesn't count as a person.

Page 8

Panel one: Veronica and Betty are continuing their shopping as the shopping cart has a few pair of shoes, blouses, shirts, and jeans as Veronica boastfully points out her success while Betty folds her arms and looks on with discontent.

Veronica: You only have a few things left and we'll be successfully—thanks to me.

Betty: Whatever.

Panel two: Veronica looks over and glares at Betty as Betty turns her head away.

Veronica: Are you still riding your high horse?

Betty: Are you still acting like a donkey?

Panel three: Veronica moves aside and motions for Betty to walk ahead.

Veronica: That does it! If you think sunshine and rainbows will get you what you want in this den of greed, go for it!

Betty: I will!

Panel four: Betty begins to walk up behind a crowd as they are all gathered at a purse display where everything is 80 percent off. The ladies in the crowd are all bunched up and pushing and elbowing each other. One thirty year old woman crawls out from under the crowd as she is bruised, battered, missing a front tooth, and has a badly tore purse as her prize.

Betty: Wow! That would be perfect for Polly!

Page 9

Panel one: Betty tries to squeeze through as the ladies refuse to budge one inch for her.

Betty: Excuse me...

Betty: Pardon me...

Panel two: Betty gets her foot stomped on by a middle age woman.

Middle age woman: Back off, princess!

Betty: Ow!

Panel three: Another woman grabs Betty by her pony tail and pulls her back.

Another lady: Go find a dollie! This is for adults!

Betty: Hey--!

Panel four: Betty is pushed back out of the crowd as she looks dejectedly at her ruined hair scrunchie as her hair is now covering her eyes.

MOVE

MINE

NO MINE

TAKE THAT

Panel five: Betty balls up her fist that was holding the hair scrunchie while using her other hand to brush the hair out of her eyes to show her with eyes filled with rage and anger.

Page 10

Panel one: Veronica is off to the side as she is watching two women fight over a coat.

Veronica: Well, it shouldn't be too much longer before Betty comes crawling back to me, begging for my help.

Panel two: Veronica turns her head as she hears a voice screaming.

Betty off-panel: WHO ELSE WANTS SOME!!?

Veronica: Betty--?!

Panel three: Veronica dashes over with her shopping cart as she sees Betty going on a rampage as she is twirling around a purse and chasing off all the other female shoppers as they act like Jason Vorhees is after them. The two women who stomped on Betty's foot and pulled her ponytail are holding their heads as pain stars are over them as they dash away in fear.

Betty: This purse is 60 % percent off, but it will cost you 100 % of your life, if you try to take it from me!!

Panel four: Veronica begins to walk towards Betty as Betty snarls and scowls at her. Veronica has her palms forward to show she is no threat.

Veronica: Betty, it's me, Veronica. I need you to calm down, stop foaming at the mouth, and let's just put the purse down...

Panel five: Betty gets right in Veronica's face and screams at her!

Betty: Put it down!! I'm keeping it!! I fought for it!!

Veronica: oookay....

Page 11

Panel one: Veronica tries to calm Betty down as Betty clutches the purse close to her body like a mama bear would a cub to protect it.

Veronica: Betty, you've just had a bit of shopping rage. This isn't you, this isn't how you go about things.

Panel two: Betty points the purse at Veronica as Veronica's eyes widen as she realizes she helped push Betty to this point!

Betty: No! This is how I should be! What you did works absolutely!

Betty:  Napalm! Punch and kick! War!

Veronica: Perhaps, I did do a few questionable acts and said those words but...but--

Panel three: Veronica has a thought balloon of all that she has done, ramming carts, tricking the two teen boys, and watching the Bal-Mart employee get run over by shoppers, (all drawn more cartoonie) as Veronica's eyes widen as she realizes that she holds some responsibility for Betty going on a rampage.

Panel four: Veronica takes the scrunchie from Betty's hand as Betty begins to calm down.

Veronica: I was wrong, Betty. Sure everyone around is acting like animals, but we shouldn't stoop to their level. We're better than that.

Veronica: I'd wager my inheritance that nearly everyone else here is buying something for themselves. But not you. You're thinking of others. Don't stop doing that.

Panel five: Betty calms down and smiles weakly at Veronica as Veronica is fixing her ponytail.

Veronica: We'll just hang back and let the horde work themselves out the rest of the way. We have each other for company so it shouldn't be too bad.

Betty: ...Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Panel six: Betty is pushing the cart as Veronica walks beside her as several of the other customers at Bal-Mart look on with admiration.

Customer one: ...It's shameful how we've all be acting.

Customer two: You're right. Why should this day be any different? Just a few discounts here and there.

Customer three: I'm going to tell everyone about those girls!

Page 12

Panel one: The Bal-Mart manager is standing with the Bal-Mart greeter as they look at the lines going inside and out. People going inside are acting wild and crazy as they race and push and pull to get in while the customers leaving are calm and orderly.

Bal-Mart manager: I've never seen anything like it. They come in wild and uncontrollable...

Bal-Mart Manager: ...And then the shop all calm and collected like it was another day. Never seen a Black Friday like it.

Panel two: The Bal-Mart Greeter waves goodbye to Betty and Veronica as she continues to talk with the Bal-Mart Manager. The cart has maybe around six or seven plastic bags filled. Veronica has her cell phone out and is preparing to take a selfie with Betty before they leave as the Bal-Mart mascot runs up behind them.

Bal-Mart greeter: What do you attribute it to?

Panel three: Veronica holds out her arm and begins to take a selfie with Betty as the Bal-Mart mascot gets in on the act and puts his arms around the two's shoulders. In the background, the Bal-Mart manager shrugs his shoulders as he really has no idea who is responsible.

Bal-Mart Manager: This change in attitude had to start somewhere. I might never know who is responsible—

Bal-Mart Manager: --But I like to believe that whomever it was, they had a fun shopping experience—and hopefully they'll be back next year!!

THE END.

Okay, finally got to pick both issues up.

What I liked.

1. The art. It's Adam Hughes so you know it's going to have great art. And I actually like the story, the dialogue and the characters. And the jokes are pretty funny.

2. Crazy Betty. The best version of Betty: her being super nice and also being nutso.

3. Ethel. I'm glad he actually drew her not so pretty. Heck, Ethel exists in one of the titles! The best she could do before was being undead in Afterlife.

4. Heel Kevin Keller. Yeah, he hasn't said much, but I already find him way more interesting than the original. Not even close. I'm not joking.

5. Veronica. I can see some going "Too Cheryl" But it is a new universe with it's own continuity and I did find her entertaining. She's so incredibly smug and stacking everything against Betty, it's going to be great to see her lose. Favorite moment had to be the liquor license and her kissing it then winking at Betty.


What I didn't like.

1. Pop Tate. ...Um, ya couldn't draw him fat because when I first looked at him, I didn't recognize him.

2. The Hot Dog stuff. ...Um, why Hot Dog? I mean, if Hot Dog did this for the Jughead book I could understand that. Honestly, even then I'd be willing to throw logic out the window if I knew this book was going to keep on schedule. It's Archie Comics and it's Adam Hughes. Eh-eh. So we're losing page time. Plus...why can Hot Dog talk and Caramel can't? That's not fair.

3. Toni Topaz. She is the most popular unpopular character I've ever seen!!

4. The cussing. It's not so much the words as who is doing it. I just can't see any version of Betty cussing.

5. The carwash scene. Okay, you had a bunch of middle age guys taking pictures of teenage girls washing cars in 57 degree weather. I mean, it's funny, but--yyyeeeessshhh.

So yeah, it's not perfect but it's still very good. But I can see why some people would be turned off. The first issue was about a B and the next a B+.

I saw this coming. Hillary did what she did against Obama: Not have the right message.

Bernie had the right message and Trump--even though it's a twisted, evil version--had the message.

But the best we can do is hope for the best and do what we can for the next four years---please save us Corey Booker.

That Wilkin Boy.

I mean you have comedy, a funny pet, two dads who hate each other and are next door neighbors, and a love story. It's practically Romeo and Juliet.

Just did a google search and Sandy's art looks pretty good.

Plus, Tom DeFalco is still amazing. I still kind of wish Ruiz could have done the art. Reggie's his favorite character. Plus he was the other part of my favorite Archie comic of all time.

Ginger by a mile. I always thought Suzie was boring.

Ginger was really fun and she has Icky in her stories. Icky is awesome.