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  • Tuxedo Mark: My review of "Seal it with a Kiss" from Cheryl Blossom #34: [link]
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    March 26, 2020, 02:55:20 am
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    March 25, 2020, 07:12:27 pm
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    March 22, 2020, 02:38:32 pm
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Jughead in Le Chez de Twyst.

Started by PTF, April 15, 2016, 08:39:54 pm

Previous topic - Next topic


 Part one: Grand opening.

(The setting is the halls of Riverdale High along the lockers. Miss Grundy's classroom is in view. Several students are coming in for the start of school and opening lockers to put in or away books. Trula Twyst is by the Riverdale Lockers as she seems to be waiting for someone as she leans against a locker and examines her watch.)

Trula Twyst: Hm...he'd  have been here a minute ago alone--been here now if it was him and Archie, so I can surmise that Juggers is with Archie and whomever his rovering eye has stopped upon...

(Ethel is running down the hall towards Trula as Trula frowns.)

Ethel: Trula! You haven't seen my Juggie, have you?!

(Ethel has stopped in front of Trula. Ethel has her arms cupped at her chin as she is envisioning a wonderful, romantic time with Jughead. Trula has her head titled and her left eye squinted as she seems to be weighing her options.)

Ethel: I have plans on him taking me to Pickens Park for a romantic afternoon under a caramel sunset.

Trula: ...

(Trula flashes Ethel an insincere smile as she begins to lie to Ethel.)

Trula: Oh you just missed him. He said he was feeling a craving for a Pep Soda.

(Trula points to her left as Ethel begins to run off and waves an appreciative hand directed at Trula.)

Trula: You should find him just at the cafeteria.

Ethel: Of course! What better place to give my sweetie his sugar! Thanks, Trula.

(Trula rolls her eyes in disgust. In the distance, Archie, Veronica, and Jughead are coming into view in the background of the hall.)

Trula Twyst thinking: Such a bothersome person...

(Archie is walking with Veronica down the halls of Riverdale high with various students going about their way. Archie and Jughead have backpacks while Veronica has a satchel. Several candy wrappers and a soft drink are sticking out of pockets and slots in Jughead's backpack. Archie has heart shaped eyes as he fawns over Veronica. Jughead is a few steps behind the duo as he rolls his eyes as it's the same old same old with him.)

Veronica: Archie-kin, I was thinking of letting you accompany me to Katy Keene's exhibit in Riverdale Hall. And afterwards, I was thinking that maybe we could--

(Jughead steps in between the two, angering Veronica

Jughead: Sorry, Ronnie, but me and Arch have plans for that night. In fact, we have plans all of this week.

Veronica: Hey!!

Archie: We do?

(Jughead puts an arm around Archie's shoulder as he leads him ahead of Veronica. Veronica is standing in place, her face red with rage. In the background is Trula Twyst at her locker. Trula is tapping her watch, showing that she was right about her deduction from earlier.

Jughead: Yeah. Remember the Comic Expo is all this week. Comics, dressing up like its Halloween, and I hear that the creators of Wonder Dude will be there to go over storylines and give autographs and--

(Veronica shouts at Jughead.)

Veronica: JUGHEAD JONES!!!

(Archie begins to run off as Jughead waves him off triumphantly.)

Archie: Yikes. The one time Veronica isn't attractive.

Archie: I'll catch you later, Jugs.

Jughead: Of course.

(Veronica stomps towards Jughead. Jughead has a vacant look on his face. In the background, Trula Twyst is watching intently.)

Veronica: Oh, I wouldn't make that promise if I were you--you--you---you uncouth clod!

(Jughead tugs at one of his ears and with his other hand points at his nose)

Jughead: Loud noises may hurt these ears and fragrances may grieve this nose, but words will never harm me.

(Veronica has an English text book as she takes a swing at Jughead who steps back with no showing of concern.)

Veronica: Oh, we'll see about that!!


(Trula Twyst is leaning against her locker as she has a devious grin on her face. Veronica is still trying to smack Jughead with the textbook, but Jughead does a matrix move and bends his back backwards as casually picks up a quarter on the floor. Mr. Weatherbee is approaching the fighting teens.)

Trula Twyst: Hm, I do believe that whiff is stirring the winds of change to blow opportunity in my direction...

(Mr. Weatherbee steps behind Veronica as Veronica's eyes light up in shock.)

Mr. Weatherbee: Veronica Lodge! What in good grace do you think you're doing in my hall?

Veronica: Eeek!

(Veronica is blushing as he tries to hide the textbook behind her back. Jughead looks on smugly. He is on the balls of his toes as he leans his head towards the textbook at Veronica's back.)

Veronica: Well...sir. It's like this...you see, I--he...I was...

(Jughead snatches the textbook from behind Veronica's back.)

Veronica: ?!

Jughead: I was just telling Ronny how I forgot my English Lit, and she insisted I borrowed hers.

(Veronica begins to weakly nod.)

Veronica: ...Right. You know how stubborn Jughead can be--

(Mr. Weatherbee walks away as he has his head turned to the teens. Jughead smiles as Veronica glares at Jughead.)

Mr. Weatherbee: Well, you should thank Veronica and be sure to be prepared for school from now on. 

Jughead: I'll skip a meal before that ever happens again, Mr. Weatherbee.

Mr. Weatherbee: See that you do.

(Veronica glares at Jughead as he looks through the textbook.)

Jughead: You're welcome.

Veronica: Grrrrr

(Veronica begins to yell at Jughead.

Veronica: Why do you insist in interfering with my relationship with Archie at ever opportunity!?

Jughead: I insist because I'm a devoted pessimist to love. A wet blanket who could drown an ocean. A buttinski with a nose that works like a weathervane when it comes to you and Archie.

(Jughead walks down the hall as he holds the textbook in the air. Veronica has her fists clenched as she tilts her head back as she is absolutely fuming.)

Jughead: Thanks for the loan, I'll return it to you when you go and meet Archie at Pop's.

Veronica: Ohhhhh!!!

(A close-up on an angry Veronica as she is flushed around her cheeks with frustration.)

Veronica: Archiekins and I can never be together with that pest constantly forcing himself between us.

(Veronica turns her head as someone is addressing her from behind her back)

Veronica: But how to get rid of him when he hovers around Archie like satellite? 

Trula Twyst off panel: Perhaps I can be of assistance in knocking him out of your orbit...

(Veronica turns around as Trula Twyst is standing at her locker. Trula has her eyes closed and has a confident smile on her face. She is holding a folder near bursting with various colors and sizes of paper.)

Veronica: Trula Twyst, amateur psychologist and self-appointed Jughead surveyor.

Trula Twyst: The one and the same.

(Veronica walks over to Trula.)

Veronica: I know that you have ways of wrapping Jughead round your finger, but you certainly haven't tied him up. And why would you help me? 

(Trula has a wicked look on her face as Veronica is even taken back by her.)

Trula: It's all ends to the means. I want Juggers to understand that I'm in charge, and if that absolute end is the means to strengthen your relationship with Archie--

(Veronica smiles back at Trula.)

Veronica: I see. As long as you get what you want, whatever else is no concern to you.

Trula Twyst: Precisely.

(Veronica's smile fades)

Veronica: If you have some sort of ultimate master plan, what exactly do you need me for?

(Veronica is handed Trula's notebook.)

Trula: Funding.

Trula: Blue Divider, page 125, if you would be so kind...

(Veronica is reading over the notebook as Trula waits patiently.)

Veronica: City Hall documents showing my father owning...

(Veronica has shocked expression on her face as she looks at Trula's plan.)

Veronica: Wow. I knew you were ambitious but this...all of what you would need would be at least a month's allowance! And how would I explain this to my father when--

(Veronica looks down the hall to see Jughead at his locker eating a fried apple fritter.)


(Veronica has a look like she's going to throw up as Trula whispers into her ears. Think of the little devil on someone's shoulder guiding them down the wrong path)

Trula: If everything goes accordingly, you will no longer have the longest nose in this hemisphere being where it doesn't belong...

(Veronica is seriously thinking it over as she looks at Jughead wiping grease on his shirt.)

Trula Twyst: ...and the lazy, gluttonous, female hater will be a fading memory.

Veronica: ...

(Veronica and Trula shake hands.)

Veronica: I'll have everything ready by tomorrow.

(Close up on Trula as she has a devious smile on her face.)

(It is the afternoon of the next day as Archie and Jughead are walking towards The Chocklit Shoppe. Archie has a worried expression he is slumped over. Jughead seems happy and is salivating.)

Archie: Jughead, I don't know. In study hall, Veronica seemed like she really wanted me to go to the mall with her and I haven't really--

Jughead: Archie, you want to spend an entire afternoon watching Ronny try on shoes or treat your best friend to a meal?

Archie: Do I have a choice?

Jughead: Hey, I would treat, but I know it's better to give than receive. I can't take that principle of joy from my best friend, can I?

(Archie his holding his head as he relents to Jughead who looks on satisfied.)

Archie:  Don't count yourself short. You're giving me a headache...

(Jughead and Archie are just at Pop's as the wind carries a fragrance towards the duo.)

Jughead: That's the spirit. Now let's forget all this talk about girls and--

(The fragrance reaches Jughead's nose as he begins to sniff and seems enraptured by it.)

Jughead: Sniff Sniff

(Jughead begins to follow the aroma as if it is pulling him along by his nose.)

Archie: Hey, where are you going, Jug?

Jughead: The noses knows, Archie. Only the nose knows.

(Archie follows after Jughead as they run down the street.)

Archie: I haven't seen you run like this since Fishballs and Spaghetti Monday at school lunch.

Jughead: This isn't fishballs and tomato sauce, Archie. This is exquisite, this is delicate, this is...

(Jughead and Archie turn a corner. Jughead has a look of pleasant surprise on his face. Archie has a look of what is that.)

Jughead and Archie: !!!

(Jughead and Archie are standing in front of a new French restaurant with an elegant sign near the top of the building reading: LE CHEZ DE TWYST. It looks like a typical French restaurant with large windows. The building is not massive, but quant. Along the windows are several flowers and statues of cupid holding various French pastry treats.)

Jughead: Wow. Viva La France.

(Jughead and Archie walks to the door as Archie touches the arrow of one of the stone statue cupids with his finger.)

Archie: Huh, Isn't this the old Arcade? It hasn't been used in years, and I don't remember anyone working on it when we passed yesterday--

Jughead: It doesn't matter where it came from, but what it puts inside of you. A nice warm feeling like a Mango-Pear Mousse cake.

(Jughead stops at the door.)

Jughead: Um, Arch, I think I have to go this one alone.

Archie: Why?

(Jughead points at the door which has a sign hung up reading: Entire establishment reserved for a one Forsythe Pendleton "Jughead" Jones the 3rd until otherwise noted.)

Jughead: That.

Archie: The entire restaurant--just for you..?!

(Jughead as he goes inside blissfully)

Jughead: Hey, whoever owns this establishment obviously has heard of about my exceptional taste buds and word of mouth from the tongue of prementioned buds could make them a booming success.

Archie: That's all fine and dandy, but what about the name because it reminds me of--

(Jughead slams the door as Archie closes his eyes and jerks back as if he feels the shockwaves.)


(Archie is walking away form Le Chez De Twyst. Peering from the side of the restaurant is Veronica. Veronica has a fist pumped as everything is going as planned.)

Archie: Guess I could call Betty and maybe we could go to that motor show--

(Archie turns around as Veronica runs towards Archie.)

Veronica: Oh, Archiekins!

Archie: Veronica!?

(Veronica hugs Archie)

Archie: Ronny, what are you doing here, I thought--?

(Veronica acts like a tragic figure while posing her extravagant clothing to Archie as Archie has small hearts ricocheting off of each other.)

Veronica: Oh, dear, sweet Archie, without you accompanying me to the mall, I became dejected and was just wandering about aimlessly in two day out of fashion apparel...

(Veronica takes Archie's arm over hers and begins to lead him away. Archie has a dumb smile on his face as he is whisked away)

Veronica: ... But fate has reunited us. And we have just enough time to reach the local matinee.

Archie: Sure. I mean, I've got no better plans.

Veronica: Really now?

(Veronica mischievously peers over her shoulders at Le Chez De Twyst.)

Veronica thinking: And if everything goes to plan, a certain bottomless stomach will get his just deserts.

(Jughead is sitting at a decorated table with several spoons and forks on each side. Jughead is out of place and even he notices it. Jughead is placing his hat on the table.)

Jughead: Wish there was a menu or something. All I've read are signs leading me here. I haven't seen hide nor hair of another person.

(A figure moves in front of Jughead who has yet to be notice. She is carrying a tray with multiple plates)

Figure:  Bonjour, Juggers. I am your host, maitre d', and waitress for your stay.

(Jughead looks up to see Trula Twyst carrying an une dégustation--a tasting menu made up of small bites of various foods on multiple dishes--the plates include:
Filet Mignon, Coq Au Vin, Magret de Canard Au Miel et Couscous, Papardelle. Trula is wearing a red jacket, white shirt, and black pants. Under her left arm is a large menu.)

Jughead: Trula Twyst?!

Trula: But of course. I do apologize for the small taste menu. We just opened today and are getting settled in.

(Trula Twyst smiles as she sets the plates down as Jughead looks on suspiciously, but is slightly eyeing the food.)

Jughead: What are you doing here?

Trula: Oh, this is my after school job.

(Jughead begins to sniff at the plates.)

Jughead: I thought you bugging me was your after school job.

Trula: That's more of a recreational hobby.

(Jughead begins eating the various foods as Trula looks on slyly.)


(Jughead is extremely pleased with his meal as he begins to lick one of the plates.)

Jughead: This is amazing! Y'know, this educated palette of mine would almost guess that this food came from--

(Jughead happily looks towards Trula as Gaston, the chef for the Lodge Family, walks beside Trula as Trula is looking over the menu.)

Gaston: Your educated palette has passed ze exam.

Jughead: Gaston! Riverdale's best chef!

(Gaston fiddles with his mustache as he becomes full of pride.)

Gaston: Ah, Joighead. Your words are tres magnifique.

Jughead: What I don't understand is what you're doing here.

Jughead: You work for the Lodges, so you don't need the money, and the Lodges have over the most influential people in the world as dinner guests....

(Gaston begins to talk as Trula rolls her eyes towards him.)

Gaston: Well, Miss Veronica has asked Gaston to--

(Trula elbows Gaston while trying to act nonchalant about it.)

Gaston: LE OW!

(Gaston tries to recover and stay on script as he holds his side. Trula nods in approval over Gaston's new answer.)

Gaston: Er, It is...just something to do on my free time, no...

Jughead: Oh yes!

(Jughead holds out a plate to Trula.)

Jughead: So what else is there?

(Trula begins to talk as Jughead becomes discouraged.)

Trula: Why only the finest French cuisine from the finest French chef of course.

Jughead: Oh...

(Jughead begins to stand up.)

Jughead: Hey, Pop's is one thing, but I doubt the word "tab" is in the French dictionary.

(Trula smiles as she glances at Gaston who winks back at her.)

Trula: You talk as if there's a problem.

(Jughead is being handed the menu by Trula.)

Jughead: No problem? A meal here would have to be worth my parent's utility bill.

Trula: Juggers, if you paid attention in world history, you would know that currency comes in all forms.

(Jughead looks at the menu as his face lights up)

Jughead: YOW!

(Over Jughead's shoulder we can see first right column listing the food)

Jughead: This is everything I love about French food written down in words! If this wasn't French, I would swear it was Shakespeare!


Crepe enchanté: Kiss on right face cheek

Crepe Metisse: Kiss on left face cheek


Soupe a L'oignon: Blow in the ear

Green Soup: Five second hug

Coq Au Vin : Five second hug   
Strogonoff de Frango "br" Compliment hair   
Costela No Bafo a la Métisse Brasil "br" : Compliment dress attire
Blanquette de Veau : Ten second talk on feelings   
Filet Mignon: Hold hands.  (Must wipe hands with napkin first)

Main Course:
Bass sautéed stripped bass: Two kisses on the lips
Chicken Penne: Ten second kiss on the lips

(Jughead is salivating.)

Jughead: Everything I could want. Prepared with what I want, how I want, temperature and time for the utmost taste experience...!

(Jughead has a startled look on his face as he notices the prices where he has to kiss, hug over various else with Trula.)

Jughead: Is this a joke?

(Trula has her hands behind her back as she talks as Jughead flips through the menu.)

Trula: C'mon, Juggers, what's a kiss or hug or two here and there when your stomach can eat the food of kings on a pauper's pension?

(Jughead looks up at Trula as he is thinking it over.)

Trula:  Vous désirez ?

(Jughead struggles with what to do as food aromas are all around him.)

Jughead: Obvious trap...must leave--

(Jughead begins to sniff the aromas as he becomes enraptured.)

Jughead: --But that smells so good...and it'll taste so much better...

(Jughead begins to hug Trula and kiss her on the lips.)

Caption: Could it be?! Has Trula Twyst finally found the way to tame Jughead?! Is the price of a soul worth a full stomach? Can Jughead escape--LE CHEZ DE TWYST?!



(Ethel is at Pop's sitting at the seat right next to where Jughead would as she talks with Pop. She is depressed and Pop's seems to sympathize with her. Ethel has an elbow on the counter and her right face cheek in her palm. Pop Tate is sadly drying a glass with a cloth. In the background a kid with a red shirt and curly blond hair is entering the shop.)

Ethel: Pops, it's horrible. I haven't seen my Juggie for days.

(Ethel has a thought balloon of Jughead as he is zooming out the school as Ethel looks on. Jughead has his eyes glazed over and his tongue hanging out of his mouth)

Ethel: I never get to see him between classes and after school he is always running off.

(Ethel points at herself with her left hand and motions at Jughead's empty seat with her right.)

Ethel: The only time he's that fast is when he's playing hard to get or coming here to eat--but look!

Pops: I know what you mean.

(Pop is filling an order of a vanilla shake for the red shirted kid as he talks with Ethel.)

Pop Tate: I haven't seen Jughead in days.

(Pop motions down at a box behind the counter labeled: JUGHEAD'S TABs and IOUs)

Pop: The only thing I have to keep the memory of him alive is his unpaid tab.

(Pop as he hands the red shirted teenager his vanilla shake with a cherry on top.)

Pop: I know he was a moocher and caused trouble here and there...

(Pop intensely looks at the teenager who stares back confused.)

(Pop Tate points at the vanilla shake as the red shirted teen doesn't know how to respond.)

(The Teenager just turns and walks away as Pops motions at him with both arms.)

Pop Tate: But at least he always appreciated my craft and gave me compliments with each hamburger, from the beef to the sesame seeds.

(Pop distantly stares at Jughead's empty stool.)

Pop Tate: And him not sitting there like he always does...

(Pop Tate has a flashback of himself as a kid as he comes back from school and a dog with a wagging tail is waiting for him to pet him.)

Pop Tate: Back when I was a kid, there was a stray dog, which would always wait for me to come home and give him a few pets on his head and he would yap happily

(Pop Tate is having a flashback only with a sad young Pop Tate as he is at home only with his dog not there and he is saddened by this.)

Pop Tate: One day he just stopped coming.

(Lil' Pop Tate is looking into a yard over a hedge as he sees a young Segarini feeding the stray dog a freshly baked pizza. Segarini is petting the stray dog on the head as it happily eats. Lil' Pop Tate looks on sadly.)

Caption: I found out that my worse enemy bribed man's best friend from me!

(Pop Tate has a tear in his eye as Ethel looks on caringly.)

Pop Tate:  First I lose my dog, now I lose my best customer.

Ethel: Gee, Pops. At least it was spread out over time. My loveboat set sail one night and hasn't come back to shore since!

(Ethel looks at Jughead's empty seat as she is imagining him sitting there with him leaning over the counter with his head on his arms as he is sleeping and burping.)

Fantasy Jughead: Burrp

Ethel: I just miss him so. His physique, his beautiful eyes, and that elegant hat covering his majestic black locks...

(Ethel begins to cry as Archie and Veronica enter Pop's, hand in hand.)


Veronica: Hasn't these last few days been perfect, Archiekins?

Archie: Yeah, Ronnie. I wonder why we never had time like this to ourselves before?

(Ethel has a look of hope in her eyes as Archie and Veronica are at the counter. Archie is ordering as Veronica smirks while holding Archie's left arm.)

Veronica: Let's not dwell on it. All that time shopping has left me famish.

Archie: Pops, one burger, one salad and two of your Chocklit Special Sundaes.

Pops: Be with you in a moment, Archie.

(Veronica is waiting patiently as Ethel begins to talk to Archie.)

Ethel: Archie, just the guy I need to talk to.

Archie: Sure. What's the problem, Ethel?

(Pop's is placing Archie's order down on the counter-- burger on a plate, a salad in a small bowl and a sundae in a dish--as Veronica's eyes light up as Ethel begins to ask about Jughead.)

Ethel: It's about Jughead. I've hardly seen him at all after school.

Archie: Yeah, me neither, I haven't seen him since he started hanging out at--

(Veronica quickly shoves a burger into Archie's mouth to silence him.)


Veronica: Oh, Archie, our order is here. We had better hurry or our favorite seat by the window will be taken--!

(Veronica is dragging Archie away by his arm as Archie still has the burger in his mouth and is grabbing hold of the remaining food. Ethel and Pops look on puzzled.)

(Ethel looks on suspiciously as Pops scratches his head.)

Pop Tate: I thought feeding your date was supposed to be romantic?

Ethel: Yeah.

(Ethel has her hand over her mouth and brushing her left cheek with her right index finger as she thinks.)

Ethel: Something sinister is going on here....

(Ethel dejectedly leaves Pop's.)

Ethel: Naw, look at me. I've been watching too many TV shows about conspiracies.

(Ethel is walking forlornly along the side walk and street leading to Le Chez De Twyst.)

Ethel: Sigh. I just wish I had a sign to show me what was going on.

(Ethel passes by Le Chez De Twyst as Jughead can be seen eating at the window.)

(Ethel suddenly stops as she passes Le Chez De Twyst.)

Ethel: !!!

(Ethel runs back to see Jughead eating an entire roasted duck.)

Ethel: Jughead!!!

(Ethel begins running to the window as inside Trula, still in her restaurant clothing, approaches Jughead, who is beginning to stand up.)

(Ethel stops as Jughead kisses Trula on the nose and sits back down.)

Ethel: !?!

(Jughead slumps back in his seat and begins to fall asleep as Trula walks away merrily, taking away Jughead's empty dishes.)

(Ethel's entire face is red with rage.)

Ethel: What is my Jughead doing with...Trula Twyst?!

(Ethel runs into Le Chez De Twyst. She has a thought balloon of Trula Twyst smiling, shrugging her shoulders, and shaking her head.)

Ethel: I've asked her for days if she's seen Jughead and she told me she hadn't!

(Ethel is in the dinning room and looking sadly at Jughead who has a smile on his face.)

Ethel: And look at my sweetie. He's absolutely miserable.

Jughead: Siggghhh.

(Ethel turns her head as she hears voices coming not too far away.)

Trula off-panel: Another second after his desert, Chef Gaston.

Gaston off-panel: Seconds to me is like an encore eez to symphony.

(Ethel begins to sneak towards the kitchen doors.)

Gaston off-panel: And it would seem by your facial expression, that your plans to win ze heart of Monsieur Joighead eez doing along ze plan.

(Ethel is peeking through the kitchen doors as Trula is sitting on a table looking at herself in a pan as Gaston cooks feverishly.)

Trula: I'm more interested in his mind.

Trula: But Veronica is content. Her supplying me with this old abandoned building her father has purchased along with food stock, storage, fridges--and most off all a great chef...

(Trula turns to Gaston as Gaston rolls his eyes as he continues to cook.)

Trula: Can you believe the extremes some girls take to be alone with their guy?

Gaston: Nevair...

(Trula is talking as Gaston shrugs his shoulders as he is stirring cake mix.)

Trula: But won't Mr. Lodge miss you?

Gaston: No, no. I'm sure Monsieur Lodge has already found a worthy replacement for Gaston.

(Cut to Mr. Lodge in his kitchen as he is making himself a peanut butter sandwich. Mrs. Lodge is at the kichen counter stirring herself some Kool-Aide. Mr. Lodge seems bitter about not having Gaston, but Mrs. Lodge is taking everything in stride.)

Mrs. Lodge: Hiram, I'm sure Veronica will be done with her play house in a few more days.

Mr. Lodge: Grrrrumbbbleee

(Back to Chez De Twyst. Gaston turns to talk to Trula as Trula is happily rubbing where Jughead had just kissed her.)

Gaston: But how will feeding Joighead lead to storming ze Bastille of his heart?

Trula: Classical conditioning. Jughead loves food and he's just now beginning to associate girls with his love of food. Soon he'll have developed a permanent conditioned response.

Gaston. Ah, so it eez Pavlobian not Machiavellian.

(A close up on Ethel's face as she gnashes her teeth.)

Ethel: Grrr

(Ethel begins to storm out of Le Chez De Twyst.)

Ethel: I have to tell Pops!

(Back to the kitchen as Trula is adjusting her hair happily as she talks with Gaston who is preparing a chocolate desert.)

Trula: I must admit. I didn't think you would be so willingly to comply with no moral quandaries.

Gaston: Ah, but to tame ze rogue heart of Joighead with food that fills ze belly with ze love. Eet is a great feat!

(Gaston is putting the icing on his cake carefully.)

Gaston: For you see, I do not have a rival so I must find challenges to accomplish where they may be lying.

Trula: A rival?

(Gaston is pulling a food cart towards the counter where the chocolate cake is.)

Gaston: Oui! I had once traveled ze world to find la rival to push me past myself, past ze boundaries I dared not walk alone.

(Gaston is beginning to place the enormous chocolate cake on the food tray as Trula continues to look at herself in the pan.)

Gaston: Don't you have ze rival? Even ze clumsy fool Archie has zat loudmouth braggart Reggie, no?

Gaston: And Miss Veronica and Betty fight tooth and nails over ze clumsy fool, but are the best of friends. 

(Trula is turning her head as she continues to admire herself.)

Trula: I hardly have any friends. I'm not complaining or sad over the fact. It's just who I am contrasts with everyone else.

(Gaston is wheeling the cake past Trula who takes stops looking at her reflection and watches Gaston as he leaves the kitchen.)

Gaston: Tiz sad, but maybe one of ze days, you will find your rival as you have ze sincere smile on your face.

(Gaston leaves as Trula look at her reflection again, slightly puzzled.)

Gaston: Another great feat the food of Gaston has accomplished!!

Trula: Hmm...

(Trula looks at her self smiling again.)

(Cut to the next day in Riverdale High School as Trula is looking at herself smiling in a mirror attached to her inside locker door.)

Caption: The next day

Trula:  I think I do prefer this smile...

(Trula closes her locker door as we can see Ethel beside Trula staring at her.)

(Ethel talks as Trula seems startled.)

Ethel: We need to talk.

Trula: !!

(Trula recollects herself and turns to Ethel.)

Trula: Why Dear Ethel, what would you like to talk about? History, Current Events--?

Ethel: Jughead.

(Trula smiles at Ethel smugly.)

Trula: Oh? Speaking of, I just saw him as he was heading to--

(Ethel slams her hand on a locker.)

Ethel: No more of your lies!


(Ethel is talking as Trula bends down and adjusts her backpack. Ethel is gesturing as if she's eaten something poisonous.)

Ethel: I've seen your little sinister bistro and how you're using food to turn my Juggie into your teenage zombie boyfriend!

Trula: Sigh.

Trula: They say the truth will set you free, and I was hoping to keep you locked in your cage filled with your delusions and such...

(Trula has her backpack over one shoulder as she looks arrogantly at Ethel.)

Trula: I am improving Jughead. All his foibles will be a thing of the past in very short time. And there is nothing you can do to stop me.
(Ethel is glaring down at Trula as Trula continues to talk. Jughead is walking to them.)

Trula: Soon enough, Juggers will be done with TV, food, and laziness and will focus on more important essentials.

Ethel: Hah! You can't change Jughead! You'd have an easier time rearranging every brick on the Great Wall of China!

(Jughead walks in front of Ethel and begins to kiss Trula on the lips as Ethel is taken back in horror.)

Ethel: Jughead, what are you doing!!?

(Jughead walks away as Trula explains to Ethel with a devious glee. Ethel leans back in horror.)

Trula: I would have to speculate that he was thinking of food when he walked by me.

(Trula waves as she walks away. In the background we can see the same red shirted teen in the distances as he is walking along the lockers.)

Trula: Looks like today will be the breakthrough. Tell you what; I'll have a table reserved for you, for this momentous occasion.

(Ethel is alone as she's fuming.)

(Ethel suddenly hits a locker door with such force that the other lockers on that row just behind that locker swing open as several students look on in terror. One locker door swings open and clobbers the red shirted teen.)


Ethel: My Juggie must be saved!!!

(Ethel is on her cellphone as she is talking to her mother. Several other students are helping the red shirted teen back on his feet in the background)

Ethel: Yes, mom...? On your way to work, could you drop off grandma's family recipes at The Chocklit Shoppe? I promised I'd help Pop Tate take care of business...

(At Le Chez De Twyst, Trula is at the entrance as Jughead is dreamily walking towards her. Trula is now wearing an evening dress, has her hair done, and is made up like she was going to a ceremony. Jughead is staggering around a bit and is in a trance.)

Caption: Afternoon.

Trula: And now for my moment of triumph...

(Trula is talking to Jughead as he is in a deep trance with a permanent smile on his face.)

Trula: Sorry, but we're closed for today. How does that make you feel?

Jughead: ...Okay....

(Jughead begins to lower his head and pucker his lips.)

(Trula closes her eyes and prepares for his kiss)

(Jughead has his lips puckered and is about to kiss Trula when a strong aroma blows into his nose.)

Jughead: Sniff Sniff

(Jughead suddenly runs away and follows the aroma as Trula doesn't know what has happened yet.)

(Trula begins to sniff the aroma with her eyes still closed.)

Trula: Huh?

(Trula opens her eyes to see Jughead gone.)

Trula: What?!

(Trula looks down the street to see Jughead sprinting off.)

Trula: !!!

(A close-up on Trula's face as she screams in panic.)


(We cut to the kitchen of Pop Tate's as Ethel is cooking up a storm. She is dashing from oven to oven fixing cakes, chocolate chip cookies, baked chicken, a salad and preparing home made ice cream as she moves like blur to oven, to stove, to refrigerator, to shelves.)

Ethel: She may know Juggie's brain from lobe to stem--but it's his stomach that does all the thinking, and that's my expertise!
(Pop Tate looks out the kitchen as we can see the entrance door is wide open as Jughead happily follows the aroma from Ethel's cooking.)

Pop Tate: Ethel, you're doing it!

(Ethel is flipping burgers diligently as Pop Tate cheers her on.)

Pop Tate: He's almost in!

Ethel: Okay!

(At the Chez De Twyst, Gaston is looking on as Trula looks out a nearby window as she is shoving the aromas from the various foods outside. Gaston has cooked several French cuisines and is working on more.)

Gaston: I cannot believe eet! My absolute eez for not!

Trula: Yes. Yes it is....

(Trula turns to Chef Gaston and forces a fake smile.)

Trula: But I'm happy for you. It seems you have yourself a rival now.

(Gaston sits down in exhaustion as Trula ponders his words.)

Gaston: No, Trula. I know zee smell of zat aroma. Ze raisons for ze aroma are the same as yours, no?

Trula: ...

(Jughead is at his seat as Ethel slams a plate with a burger on it in front of him.)


(Jughead takes a bite.)


(Jughead suddenly comes out of his trance and looks around as Ethel and Pop Tate celebrate.)

Jughead: Pop. Ethel.

Jughead:  Um, where have I been the last few days?

Ethel: Yay! My Jughead has come back to us!

(Ethel reaches over and hugs Jughead who continues to eat his burger.)

Jughead: Ethel, I'm trying to eat here.

Pop: Here and always here from now on!

(Jughead looks to his left to see Archie and Veronica sharing a sundae at a nearby table.)

(Jughead darts away from Ethel who nearly falls over the counter.)


Ethel: Whoa!

(Jughead suddenly jumps in between Archie and Veronica. Archie is happy to see him as Veronica becomes irritated.)

Jughead: Hey, Arch!

Archie: Jugster! Long time no see!

(Jughead is drinking the sundae with both straws as he looks over at Veronica and motions with his elbow for her to move down the seat. Veronica is devastated by Jughead's return.)

Jughead: Ronnie, you mind? That perfume of yours is ruinning the taste of this sundae.

Veronica: Well, you're ruining everything else!!

(Jughead is drinking the sundae as Veronica begins to cry tears of defeat in the distance. Ethel looks on as Trula Twyst enters Pop's.)

Ethel: Trula. Let me guess, you've come to swear revenge on me? =

(Ethel walks over to Trula as Trula seems surprisingly calm.)

Trula: To be honest, I thought I would be furious with you. I was within inches of achieving my goal and in a moment you snatched certain victory from me.

(Trula smiles and extends her hand for Ethel to shake.)

Trula: I apologize.

(Ethel looks distrustfully at Trula.)

Ethel: For nearly brainwashing Jughead?

Trula: Of course not.

(Trula talking with Ethel as Ethel seems perplexed by Trula's words.)

Trula: I have no moral quandaries about that in the slightest.

Ethel: Then what?

(Trula talking as Ethel ponders her words.)

Trula: I underestimated you. I didn't think much of you at all, but you completely defeated me just now. You are a worthy rival, and I apologize for not seeing that sooner.

(Ethel begins to smile at Trula.)

Ethel: Sure.

(Ethel and Trula shake hands.)

Ethel: May the best woman win.

(Trula and Ethel turn their heads to their left in alarm. The Red Shirted teenager is entering the Shoppe. He has a bandage on his forehead and has a black eye.)

Pop Tate off-panel: Jughead, anything else I can do for you?

(The next shot is of Jughead reaching over and kissing a startled Pop Tate as everyone but Trula and Ethel look on in shock. Ethel and Trula begin to laugh and giggle. Archie looks on embarrassed as Veronica is about to faint. The Red Shirted Teen turns and takes a step out of The Chocklit Shoppe.)

Trula: My, more competition.



HILARIOUS!  :2funny: PTF, this is your best story yet! Too bad Mr. Lodge is too cheap to go out and dine, though. Now when I think about it, AC never really explored the Trula - Ethel rivalry, did they?   ???


No they did not. Heck, Archie comics never used Trula much period. Which is a shame because I think being an amateur shrink would translate to more stories when Riverdale is full of crazy people. :)

And if I did a list of my top ten stories, this one would probably make the cut.

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