Part one: Grand opening.
(The setting is the halls of Riverdale High along the lockers. Miss Grundy’s classroom is in view. Several students are coming in for the start of school and opening lockers to put in or away books. Trula Twyst is by the Riverdale Lockers as she seems to be waiting for someone as she leans against a locker and examines her watch.)
Trula Twyst: Hm…he’d have been here a minute ago alone--been here now if it was him and Archie, so I can surmise that Juggers is with Archie and whomever his rovering eye has stopped upon…
(Ethel is running down the hall towards Trula as Trula frowns.)
Ethel: Trula! You haven’t seen my Juggie, have you?!
(Ethel has stopped in front of Trula. Ethel has her arms cupped at her chin as she is envisioning a wonderful, romantic time with Jughead. Trula has her head titled and her left eye squinted as she seems to be weighing her options.)
Ethel: I have plans on him taking me to Pickens Park for a romantic afternoon under a caramel sunset.
(Trula flashes Ethel an insincere smile as she begins to lie to Ethel.)
Trula: Oh you just missed him. He said he was feeling a craving for a Pep Soda.
(Trula points to her left as Ethel begins to run off and waves an appreciative hand directed at Trula.)
Trula: You should find him just at the cafeteria.
Ethel: Of course! What better place to give my sweetie his sugar! Thanks, Trula.
(Trula rolls her eyes in disgust. In the distance, Archie, Veronica, and Jughead are coming into view in the background of the hall.)
Trula Twyst thinking: Such a bothersome person…
(Archie is walking with Veronica down the halls of Riverdale high with various students going about their way. Archie and Jughead have backpacks while Veronica has a satchel. Several candy wrappers and a soft drink are sticking out of pockets and slots in Jughead’s backpack. Archie has heart shaped eyes as he fawns over Veronica. Jughead is a few steps behind the duo as he rolls his eyes as it’s the same old same old with him.)
Veronica: Archie-kin, I was thinking of letting you accompany me to Katy Keene’s exhibit in Riverdale Hall. And afterwards, I was thinking that maybe we could—
(Jughead steps in between the two, angering Veronica
Jughead: Sorry, Ronnie, but me and Arch have plans for that night. In fact, we have plans all of this week.
Archie: We do?
(Jughead puts an arm around Archie’s shoulder as he leads him ahead of Veronica. Veronica is standing in place, her face red with rage. In the background is Trula Twyst at her locker. Trula is tapping her watch, showing that she was right about her deduction from earlier.
Jughead: Yeah. Remember the Comic Expo is all this week. Comics, dressing up like its Halloween, and I hear that the creators of Wonder Dude will be there to go over storylines and give autographs and—
(Veronica shouts at Jughead.)
Veronica: JUGHEAD JONES!!!
(Archie begins to run off as Jughead waves him off triumphantly.)
Archie: Yikes. The one time Veronica isn’t attractive.
Archie: I’ll catch you later, Jugs.
Jughead: Of course.
(Veronica stomps towards Jughead. Jughead has a vacant look on his face. In the background, Trula Twyst is watching intently.)
Veronica: Oh, I wouldn’t make that promise if I were you—you—you---you uncouth clod!
(Jughead tugs at one of his ears and with his other hand points at his nose)
Jughead: Loud noises may hurt these ears and fragrances may grieve this nose, but words will never harm me.
(Veronica has an English text book as she takes a swing at Jughead who steps back with no showing of concern.)
Veronica: Oh, we’ll see about that!!
(Trula Twyst is leaning against her locker as she has a devious grin on her face. Veronica is still trying to smack Jughead with the textbook, but Jughead does a matrix move and bends his back backwards as casually picks up a quarter on the floor. Mr. Weatherbee is approaching the fighting teens.)
Trula Twyst: Hm, I do believe that whiff is stirring the winds of change to blow opportunity in my direction…
(Mr. Weatherbee steps behind Veronica as Veronica’s eyes light up in shock.)
Mr. Weatherbee: Veronica Lodge! What in good grace do you think you’re doing in my hall?
(Veronica is blushing as he tries to hide the textbook behind her back. Jughead looks on smugly. He is on the balls of his toes as he leans his head towards the textbook at Veronica’s back.)
Veronica: Well…sir. It’s like this…you see, I—he…I was…
(Jughead snatches the textbook from behind Veronica’s back.)
Jughead: I was just telling Ronny how I forgot my English Lit, and she insisted I borrowed hers.
(Veronica begins to weakly nod.)
Veronica: …Right. You know how stubborn Jughead can be—
(Mr. Weatherbee walks away as he has his head turned to the teens. Jughead smiles as Veronica glares at Jughead.)
Mr. Weatherbee: Well, you should thank Veronica and be sure to be prepared for school from now on.
Jughead: I’ll skip a meal before that ever happens again, Mr. Weatherbee.
Mr. Weatherbee: See that you do.
(Veronica glares at Jughead as he looks through the textbook.)
Jughead: You’re welcome.
(Veronica begins to yell at Jughead.
Veronica: Why do you insist in interfering with my relationship with Archie at ever opportunity!?
Jughead: I insist because I’m a devoted pessimist to love. A wet blanket who could drown an ocean. A buttinski with a nose that works like a weathervane when it comes to you and Archie.
(Jughead walks down the hall as he holds the textbook in the air. Veronica has her fists clenched as she tilts her head back as she is absolutely fuming.)
Jughead: Thanks for the loan, I’ll return it to you when you go and meet Archie at Pop’s.
(A close-up on an angry Veronica as she is flushed around her cheeks with frustration.)
Veronica: Archiekins and I can never be together with that pest constantly forcing himself between us.
(Veronica turns her head as someone is addressing her from behind her back)
Veronica: But how to get rid of him when he hovers around Archie like satellite?
Trula Twyst off panel: Perhaps I can be of assistance in knocking him out of your orbit…
(Veronica turns around as Trula Twyst is standing at her locker. Trula has her eyes closed and has a confident smile on her face. She is holding a folder near bursting with various colors and sizes of paper.)
Veronica: Trula Twyst, amateur psychologist and self-appointed Jughead surveyor.
Trula Twyst: The one and the same.
(Veronica walks over to Trula.)
Veronica: I know that you have ways of wrapping Jughead round your finger, but you certainly haven’t tied him up. And why would you help me?
(Trula has a wicked look on her face as Veronica is even taken back by her.)
Trula: It’s all ends to the means. I want Juggers to understand that I’m in charge, and if that absolute end is the means to strengthen your relationship with Archie--
(Veronica smiles back at Trula.)
Veronica: I see. As long as you get what you want, whatever else is no concern to you.
Trula Twyst: Precisely.
(Veronica’s smile fades)
Veronica: If you have some sort of ultimate master plan, what exactly do you need me for?
(Veronica is handed Trula’s notebook.)
Trula: Blue Divider, page 125, if you would be so kind…
(Veronica is reading over the notebook as Trula waits patiently.)
Veronica: City Hall documents showing my father owning…
(Veronica has shocked expression on her face as she looks at Trula’s plan.)
Veronica: Wow. I knew you were ambitious but this…all of what you would need would be at least a month’s allowance! And how would I explain this to my father when--
(Veronica looks down the hall to see Jughead at his locker eating a fried apple fritter.)
(Veronica has a look like she’s going to throw up as Trula whispers into her ears. Think of the little devil on someone’s shoulder guiding them down the wrong path)
Trula: If everything goes accordingly, you will no longer have the longest nose in this hemisphere being where it doesn’t belong…
(Veronica is seriously thinking it over as she looks at Jughead wiping grease on his shirt.)
Trula Twyst: …and the lazy, gluttonous, female hater will be a fading memory.
(Veronica and Trula shake hands.)
Veronica: I’ll have everything ready by tomorrow.
(Close up on Trula as she has a devious smile on her face.)
(It is the afternoon of the next day as Archie and Jughead are walking towards The Chocklit Shoppe. Archie has a worried expression he is slumped over. Jughead seems happy and is salivating.)
Archie: Jughead, I don’t know. In study hall, Veronica seemed like she really wanted me to go to the mall with her and I haven’t really—
Jughead: Archie, you want to spend an entire afternoon watching Ronny try on shoes or treat your best friend to a meal?
Archie: Do I have a choice?
Jughead: Hey, I would treat, but I know it’s better to give than receive. I can’t take that principle of joy from my best friend, can I?
(Archie his holding his head as he relents to Jughead who looks on satisfied.)
Archie: Don’t count yourself short. You’re giving me a headache…
(Jughead and Archie are just at Pop’s as the wind carries a fragrance towards the duo.)
Jughead: That’s the spirit. Now let’s forget all this talk about girls and—
(The fragrance reaches Jughead’s nose as he begins to sniff and seems enraptured by it.)
Jughead: Sniff Sniff
(Jughead begins to follow the aroma as if it is pulling him along by his nose.)
Archie: Hey, where are you going, Jug?
Jughead: The noses knows, Archie. Only the nose knows.
(Archie follows after Jughead as they run down the street.)
Archie: I haven’t seen you run like this since Fishballs and Spaghetti Monday at school lunch.
Jughead: This isn’t fishballs and tomato sauce, Archie. This is exquisite, this is delicate, this is…
(Jughead and Archie turn a corner. Jughead has a look of pleasant surprise on his face. Archie has a look of what is that.)
Jughead and Archie: !!!
(Jughead and Archie are standing in front of a new French restaurant with an elegant sign near the top of the building reading: LE CHEZ DE TWYST. It looks like a typical French restaurant with large windows. The building is not massive, but quant. Along the windows are several flowers and statues of cupid holding various French pastry treats.)
Jughead: Wow. Viva La France.
(Jughead and Archie walks to the door as Archie touches the arrow of one of the stone statue cupids with his finger.)
Archie: Huh, Isn’t this the old Arcade? It hasn’t been used in years, and I don’t remember anyone working on it when we passed yesterday--
Jughead: It doesn’t matter where it came from, but what it puts inside of you. A nice warm feeling like a Mango-Pear Mousse cake.
(Jughead stops at the door.)
Jughead: Um, Arch, I think I have to go this one alone.
(Jughead points at the door which has a sign hung up reading: Entire establishment reserved for a one Forsythe Pendleton “Jughead” Jones the 3rd
until otherwise noted.)
Archie: The entire restaurant--just for you..?!
(Jughead as he goes inside blissfully)
Jughead: Hey, whoever owns this establishment obviously has heard of about my exceptional taste buds and word of mouth from the tongue of prementioned buds could make them a booming success.
Archie: That’s all fine and dandy, but what about the name because it reminds me of—
(Jughead slams the door as Archie closes his eyes and jerks back as if he feels the shockwaves.)
(Archie is walking away form Le Chez De Twyst. Peering from the side of the restaurant is Veronica. Veronica has a fist pumped as everything is going as planned.)
Archie: Guess I could call Betty and maybe we could go to that motor show—
(Archie turns around as Veronica runs towards Archie.)
Veronica: Oh, Archiekins!
(Veronica hugs Archie)
Archie: Ronny, what are you doing here, I thought--?
(Veronica acts like a tragic figure while posing her extravagant clothing to Archie as Archie has small hearts ricocheting off of each other.)
Veronica: Oh, dear, sweet Archie, without you accompanying me to the mall, I became dejected and was just wandering about aimlessly in two day out of fashion apparel…
(Veronica takes Archie’s arm over hers and begins to lead him away. Archie has a dumb smile on his face as he is whisked away)
Veronica: … But fate has reunited us. And we have just enough time to reach the local matinee.
Archie: Sure. I mean, I’ve got no better plans.
Veronica: Really now?
(Veronica mischievously peers over her shoulders at Le Chez De Twyst.)
Veronica thinking: And if everything goes to plan, a certain bottomless stomach will get his just deserts.
(Jughead is sitting at a decorated table with several spoons and forks on each side. Jughead is out of place and even he notices it. Jughead is placing his hat on the table.)
Jughead: Wish there was a menu or something. All I’ve read are signs leading me here. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of another person.
(A figure moves in front of Jughead who has yet to be notice. She is carrying a tray with multiple plates)
Figure: Bonjour, Juggers. I am your host, maitre d’, and waitress for your stay.
(Jughead looks up to see Trula Twyst carrying an une dégustation—a tasting menu made up of small bites of various foods on multiple dishes—the plates include: Filet Mignon, Coq Au Vin, Magret de Canard Au Miel et Couscous, Papardelle. Trula is wearing a red jacket, white shirt, and black pants. Under her left arm is a large menu.) Jughead: Trula Twyst?! Trula: But of course. I do apologize for the small taste menu. We just opened today and are getting settled in. (Trula Twyst smiles as she sets the plates down as Jughead looks on suspiciously, but is slightly eyeing the food.) Jughead: What are you doing here? Trula: Oh, this is my after school job. (Jughead begins to sniff at the plates.) Jughead: I thought you bugging me was your after school job. Trula: That’s more of a recreational hobby. (Jughead begins eating the various foods as Trula looks on slyly.) SLURP MUNCH MUNCH (Jughead is extremely pleased with his meal as he begins to lick one of the plates.) Jughead: This is amazing! Y’know, this educated palette of mine would almost guess that this food came from— (Jughead happily looks towards Trula as Gaston, the chef for the Lodge Family, walks beside Trula as Trula is looking over the menu.) Gaston: Your educated palette has passed ze exam. Jughead: Gaston! Riverdale’s best chef! (Gaston fiddles with his mustache as he becomes full of pride.) Gaston: Ah, Joighead. Your words are tres magnifique. Jughead: What I don’t understand is what you’re doing here. Jughead: You work for the Lodges, so you don’t need the money, and the Lodges have over the most influential people in the world as dinner guests…. (Gaston begins to talk as Trula rolls her eyes towards him.) Gaston: Well, Miss Veronica has asked Gaston to— (Trula elbows Gaston while trying to act nonchalant about it.) Gaston: LE OW! (Gaston tries to recover and stay on script as he holds his side. Trula nods in approval over Gaston’s new answer.) Gaston: Er, It is…just something to do on my free time, no… Jughead: Oh yes! (Jughead holds out a plate to Trula.) Jughead: So what else is there? (Trula begins to talk as Jughead becomes discouraged.) Trula: Why only the finest French cuisine from the finest French chef of course. Jughead: Oh… (Jughead begins to stand up.) Jughead: Hey, Pop’s is one thing, but I doubt the word “tab” is in the French dictionary. (Trula smiles as she glances at Gaston who winks back at her.) Trula: You talk as if there’s a problem. (Jughead is being handed the menu by Trula.) Jughead: No problem? A meal here would have to be worth my parent’s utility bill. Trula: Juggers, if you paid attention in world history, you would know that currency comes in all forms. (Jughead looks at the menu as his face lights up) Jughead: YOW! (Over Jughead’s shoulder we can see first right column listing the food) Jughead: This is everything I love about French food written down in words! If this wasn’t French, I would swear it was Shakespeare! MenuLUNCH Crepe enchanté: Kiss on right face cheek Crepe Metisse: Kiss on left face cheek SOUPS Soupe a L’oignon: Blow in the ear Green Soup: Five second hug Coq Au Vin : Five second hug Strogonoff de Frango "br" Compliment hair Costela No Bafo a la Métisse Brasil "br" : Compliment dress attireBlanquette de Veau : Ten second talk on feelings Filet Mignon: Hold hands.
(Must wipe hands with napkin first) Main Course:Bass sautéed stripped bass: Two kisses on the lipsChicken Penne: Ten second kiss on the lips
(Jughead is salivating.)
Jughead: Everything I could want. Prepared with what I want, how I want, temperature and time for the utmost taste experience…!
(Jughead has a startled look on his face as he notices the prices where he has to kiss, hug over various else with Trula.)
Jughead: Is this a joke?
(Trula has her hands behind her back as she talks as Jughead flips through the menu.)
Trula: C’mon, Juggers, what’s a kiss or hug or two here and there when your stomach can eat the food of kings on a pauper’s pension?
(Jughead looks up at Trula as he is thinking it over.)
Trula: Vous désirez ?
(Jughead struggles with what to do as food aromas are all around him.)
Jughead: Obvious trap…must leave--
(Jughead begins to sniff the aromas as he becomes enraptured.)
Jughead: --But that smells so good…and it’ll taste so much better…
(Jughead begins to hug Trula and kiss her on the lips.)
Caption: Could it be?! Has Trula Twyst finally found the way to tame Jughead?! Is the price of a soul worth a full stomach? Can Jughead escape—LE CHEZ DE TWYST?!