(Archie and Jughead are in the hall next to their lockers talking as Trula Twyst is walking toward them. In the background we can see Betty and Veronica looking at Archie and talking amongst themselves.)
Archie: Bad news, Jugs. You're worse enemy is coming right at us.
Jughead: No worries, I've finally found a way to counteract her glance, her mere shrug, and her mind games.
(Archie is amazed as Jughead smiles pridefully.)
Archie: You mean you finally figured a way to beat her?
Jughead: And it's so simple.
(Jughead closes his eyes and puts his fingers in his ears as Trula is almost to them. Archie face palms at this weak attempt of Jughead's.)
(Trula stops and looks at Jughead who is closing his eyes so shut that he is straining form the pressure.)
(Trula leans over and whispers into Jughead's left ear as Jughead becomes annoyed.)
Trula: Juggers, if you really want that to work, with those massive round ears, you'd try using your entire hand.
Jughead: This will work just—
(Jughead has a look of realization on his face as he realizes his fingers are two small for his ears as he heard Trula accurately. Trula walks past Jughead and looks over at Archie.)
(Trula is smiling at Archie and making her best attractive face towards him as he becomes entranced.)
Trula: But I'm not here to talk to you. That's in the past.
Trula: I want to talk with Archie-Pooh.
(Archie blushes. Behind him Betty and Veronica overhear and have shocked looks on their faces.)
(Trula puts a hand on each of Archie's shoulders as he begins to tremble and sweat as small hearts float over his head. Jughead looks on derisively with folded arms across his chest.)
Trula: After wasting my time on that...other guy, I realized I should have been focusing on you, Archie-Pooh.
Trula: Look at what I've been missing: those delectable freckles, magnificent orange hair, and such broad shoulders...
(Trula winks at Archie as Archie goes weak kneed and his jaw has dropped. Behind Archie, Betty and Veronica have opened a locker door and are peering from behind it as they unsuccessfully try to stay out of sight.)
Trula: You are quite the specimen, Archie Andrews. I can see why you attract others.
(Trula uses her right hand to lift Archie's draw. Behind Trula, Jughead looks on displeased as he tips his crown towards his eyebrows. )
Trula: You wouldn't mind me sitting with you for lunch, would you?
Jughead: Careful, Archie. She eats people like you for breakfast.
(Archie leaps in the air happily as Trula casually begins to walk away. Jughead face palms in frustration.)
Archie: Good thing we're talking about lunch!
(Trula begins to jump up and down in the air as she seems extremely happy.)
Trula: Yes! Whoohoo! Oboy!
(Trula begins to do cartwheels as several students move to clear way for her.)
Trula: Archie Andrews and I will be sitting together! My life has been leading up to this!
(Trula looks over at Betty and Veronica who are glaring at her.)
(Trula stops her cartwheels to acknowledge them.)
(Trula slightly shrugs her shoulders and smiles as if to say what can they do.)
(Betty and Veronica are fuming as Trula skips away happily. Archie is walking away in the other direction like a love struck zombie the other direction as several students look at him perplexed. Jughead looks on in revulsion.)
Betty: Can you believe her?! After our Archie and rubbing our noses in it.
Veronica: Later, Betty. Right now, I say we deal with the person responsible.
(Jughead turns around as Betty and Veronica's shadows overlap Jughead.)
Jughead: Haven't felt this cold since the time I wore summer clothes in last year's blizzard while eating snow cones.
(Veronica shoves Jughead into the lockers.)
Veronica: Enough wise cracks!
(Jughead has one hand rubbing the back of his head and the other rubbing his stomach.)
Jughead: Easy. I think you dislodged my stomach because my craving went from pizza to hamburgers and that's a two hour skip ahead.
Betty: This is serious, Jughead!
(Veronica and Betty keep Jughead pinned against the lockers as he looks on in deep fright)
Veronica: Because of you, that femme fatale is trying to sink her venomous fangs around our sweet Archie's heart.
Betty: You need to fix this now before the toxins set in!
(Jughead uses his arms to gently push his way inbetween the two girls.)
Jughead: Hey, I know Archie is my best bud in the entire universe, but...
(Jughead turns around to face them. He has right arm raised and using two fingers to show someone running up stairs and his stretched out as far as it can left arm with two fingers to show someone on level ground.)
Jughead: It's like in the horror movies when two friends are chased by the monster and it follows the one friend up the stairs and the other guy is in the other room with the door wide open.
Jughead: I can't be expected to risk certain death given the circumstances and chance for escape.
(Betty and Veronica turn to each other in confirmation.)
(Betty has Jughead in a hammer lock across his back with his left arm and Veronica has Jughead's right arm over his head as Jughead is on his knees in tremendous pain.)
Jughead: OKAY! OKAY! I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING! I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING!
(Betty and Veronica walk away as Jughead painfully examines his aching arms as he acts like he is eating a burger only it is raised just above his mouth.)
Jughead: I'll never be able to eat a cheeseburger the same way ever again.
(Jughead is walking into a classroom as he is thinking.)
Jughead: Okay, Mr. Jones, what can you do to stop this ball from rolling?
Jughead: Can't interfere openly because the curly haired Medusa would turn me to stone with a glance.
Miss Grundy off-panel: Archie, please hand out the papers for today.
(Jughead closes eyes and winces as if he can feel Archie's pain.)
Archie: Sure thing, Miss Grundy, you can count on—WHOA!
(Archie has fallen on the ground bent over in the shape of a V with a backpack around his legs and scattered papers flying through the air. Reggie and several other students look at Archie. Reggie is laughing.)
Reggie: Wow, Andrews, this was almost as bad as when you tried walking and chewing gum at the same time, you klutz!
(Jughead snaps his fingers as an idea comes to him.)
Jughead: Now that is the golden ticket to the chocolate factory.
(Veronica and Betty are running towards the lunch room as Nancy and Chuck look on. Betty is ahead with Veronica seemingly having trouble running in her boots.)
Betty: C'mon, Ronny, we have to hurry!
Veronica: You try running in these boots! They were made for fashion, not a race.
(Betty and Veronica go inside the cafeteria and stop in place.)
Betty: We both had to fake being sick to get ahead of Trula and wait for Archie, we can't just—
(Betty and Veronica look angrily as they see Trula and Archie sitting at a lunch table alone. They have the only two seats at their table. Midge and Moose are close by at another lunch table and two empty seats are right next to Moose. Archie is looking at Trula with lovestruck eyes as Trula uses a small spoon to take a bite of her desert.)
Veronica: How did she--?!
Betty: And she's at our table!
(Veronica tries to pick up the empty chair next to Moose, but can't as it seems cemented to the ground.)
Veronica: Well, two's company, three's a crowd, so grab that other seat and let's make it a riot!
(Veronica is still trying to lift her chair, but can't as her hair is becoming to come out of place and her cheeks turning red. Betty is bending down to look at the legs of her seat to see that they are glued to the floor.)
Veronica: Errrkk! What's wrong with this stupid thing? I'm used to someone sliding it out of place and back for me. What am I doing wrong here?!
Betty: It looks like they're super glued to the floor.
(Trula finishes her bite as she talks. She does not turn her head and has her eyes closed and is smiling from enjoying the desert.)
Trula: Gorilla glue actually, or so it seems to the casual eye.
(Betty and Veronica look angrily at Trula as Archie gallops way.)
Trula: Oh, Archie-Pooh, could you maybe get me a diet soda from the machine, if you could be so kind?
Archie: I can! I can! Kind and a soda! I can do both!
(Trula turns to look at Betty and Veronica. Betty is upset and Veronica looks like she could pounce on Trula.)
Betty: That's a dirty trick, Trula.
Veronica: And stop calling him that ridiculous name!
(Trula seems to be only half interested in what Betty and Veronica are saying.)
Veronica: It's Archiekins and it can only be Archiekins, got it?
Betty: Trula, I thought you were interested in Jughead. Why all the attention to Archie all of a sudden?
(Trula shrugs he shoulders.)
Trula: It's certainly not a case of picking the boy that daddy cares little for or picking the boy next door out of some uncontrollable obsession.
(Veronica is being held back by Betty as Trula turns back to her table and begins to eat her snack again like nothing is happening.)
Veronica: Why you amateur psychologist!! I'll show you real head shrinking when I flatten your head for you!
Trula: Mmm. Miss Beazley must be recommended for her culinary skills.
(Jughead is shaking a bottle of a diet drink. Jughead is standing in front of the soda machine with his back turned to the wall.)
Jughead: I'd cash in all of MyPepRewards if I could get Trula to reenact my favorite scene in the Wizard of Oz.
(Jughead sees Archie approaching.)
Jughead: And we're off to see the wizard...
(Archie begins to talk to Archie as he reaches into his pockets.)
Archie: Jughead, I thought you were avoiding me ever since Trula—
Jughead: Me? Nah, where would you get that idea from?
(Archie has his pockets out to show that they are empty. As Archie isn't looking, Jughead is shaking the soda bottle even more.)
Jughead: Well, truth is stranger than fiction.
Archie: Rats. I must have lent you all of my money yesterday at Pop's.
Jughead: Really? I wouldn't remember that.
(Jughead holds the soda bottle to Archie.)
Jughead: Here. I couldn't help overhearing you and Trula, and I wanted to pay you back for at least six meals. So here.
Archie: Thanks, Jughead. You're a real pal.
(Jughead follows behind with a sly smile on his face.)
Jughead: You just remember that when the going gets tough.
(Archie is handing the soft drink to Trula as Betty is trying to calm Veronica down just behind her. The soda is seemingly erupting )
Archie: Just as you wanted, Trula.
Trula: You're the sweetest, nicest, most generous--
(Trula begins to open the soda.)
Trula: Archie-Pooh, you're the sweetest, nicest, most generous--
(The soda explodes and fizzes all over Trula's head.)
(Archie reaches for a napkin from his food tray as Trula is dripping wet as Veronica and Betty looking on happily. Jughead has the body language that is screaming: Job Well Done. Trula does not react and simply stares blankly straight ahead.)
Archie: I'm so sorry, I didn't want that to--it wasn't me, you see—
Jughead: I'm not going to sugarcoat it, Trula. That carbonated drink makes you look like a drowned rat.
(Trula stands up and stares blankly at Archie who becomes nervous as Jughead nods his head, waiting for Trula to become angry.)
(Trula still has the same vacant facial expression as Veronica and Betty become near over patient with Trula breaking up with Archie.)
(Trula suddenly smiles.)
Trula: I know, Archie, bad things just tend to happen to you. It's not your fault in the slightest. These little...incidents are what make you special to me.
(Archie lights up as Jughead is wide-eyed in disbelief.)
(Trula takes Archie by the hand as they walk past Jughead without paying him a glance. Betty and Veronica's are both slumped over with their arms dragging as they look on in a mix of disbelief and disappointment.)
Trula: You can make it all up to me by taking me to the movies this afternoon around four.
(Trula sticks her nose in the air and acts snobbish as she leads Archie away. Jughead, Betty, and Veronica look on in frustration.)
Trula: Now come. Lunch is nearly over and the daughter of a famous writer can't be expected to carry her own books.
Archie: And you won't!
Trula: And hurry after school. I want us to be prompt and be seen by everyone as we go into the theater. A picture speaks a million words.
(Betty and Veronica are angrily taking to Jughead who doesn't seem to register them talking to him as he watches Trula and Archie leave.)
Veronica: Is that the best you could think of?! If you're going to drench her, throw her into the ocean!
Betty: Yeah, it's going to take more than that to—
(Jughead suddenly snaps.)
Jughead: You don't think I know this isn't serious!? My best friend's backbone is about to be yanked out by that devilish surgeon!
(Jughead holds up a finger in declaration.)
Jughead: Even if I must fall on the sword myself, if it gets Arch out of Trula's talons, I'll take that fatal wound!
(Jughead begins to storm out of the cafeteria as everyone looks on, from Miss Beazley to Dilton in the food line.)
Dilton: Jughead entering a cafeteria and leaving without taking a single nibble? That's rarer than a proton spinning at such dexterity the charges subside and build in mass similar to that of a neutron.
Miss Beazley: Yeah, and he's the only one of you little jerks who understands the finesse and time I put into my work.
(Miss Beazley drops a badly burnt piece of meat into Dilton's lunch tray. Dilton has a sickly expression on his face)
Miss Beazley: The ash and scorch gives it flavor.
(Archie and Trula are entering the movie theater arm and arm as Betty and Veronica, wearing trench coats and shades follow them inside.)
Caption: Promptly four in the afternoon.
(They are inside the theater as Archie and Trula have taken their seats. Archie is holding a large tub of popcorn. The disguised Veronica and Betty are sitting two rows back, spying on the couple. An usher is walking down the open aisle.)
Veronica whispering: I can't believe I'm wearing something so...so tacky.
Betty whispering: I can't believe Archie is willingly watching a rom-com. He always wants me to watch action movies with plenty of explosives when we plan to go out.
(Veronica shows Betty her palm as Betty rolls here eyes.)
Veronica: That's why you smack him in the back of the head. It gets him in line every time.
Betty: Gee, and I wondered why Archie was seeing new people.
(The lights begin to dim as Veronica focus on Archie and Trula. Archie is looking at Trula smitten while Trula is looking at her watch, not interested in anything else.)
Veronica: Mock if you must, but that tactic has led me and Archiekins to view all the movies in the Midday trilogy. Twice.
Archie: Trula, is something wrong?
(Trula looks at Archie and gives him a fake smile.)
Trula: Oh, nothing.
(The lights begin to dim.)
Trula: Three. Two...
(Archie turns to the aisle as he hears a voice.)
Jughead off-panel: STOP! TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON.
(Jughead is looking down at Archie and Trula condescendingly as the usher approaches Jughead. The lights are turning back to the way they were before.)
Usher: Is there a problem?
Jughead: Yeah, there's a big problem!
(Jughead points at Trula as Archie, Betty, Veronica, and several others in the movie theater look at Trula. Trula simply smiles as if greeted by a friend.)
Trula: Juggers, you must be lost. The cartoon movie is playing at the end of the hall.
(The usher is confused as he scratches his head as Jughead looks down at Trula as Archie sinks in his seat, embarrassed by being caught up in this.)
Usher: She didn't buy a ticket?
Jughead: Oh, she's a sneak alright, but not the kind that sneaks into movie theaters! That's about the least damage she could ever do!
Archie: Jug, could we save the over dramatics at least until its pitch dark...?
(Jughead bends over Archie and is nose to nose with Trula, who is defiant towards him.)
Jughead: I know you're using Archie to play some sort of twisted mind game on me!
Trula: So what if I am? What can you do about it?
Jughead: Oh, you think I can't do anything about it?
Trula: I know you can't do anything about it!
(Betty and Veronica look on dumbfounded as Jughead and Trula argue off panel.)
Jughead: Oh, yes I can!
Trula: No, you can't!
Jughead: Watch me!
(Jughead grabs Trula by her hand and leads her away from Archie to another section of seats. Trula seems pleased by these events. Archie looks on speechless)
Jughead: You're sitting right next to me, away form Archie, and where I can keep an eye on you.
(Archie looks at Trula's empty seat.)
Archie: I never thought I would say this: Jughead stole my girl.
Archie: What else can go wrong?
(Jughead returns and grabs Archie's popcorn.)
Jughead: And this much buttered popcorn is bad for your cholesterol. You're just begging for a heart attack.
(Archie has his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands as he is dejected. Behind him Veronica and Betty take off their trenchcoats and shades to reveal they have dressed up as if on a date.)
Archie: Right now I'm begging for a girl sitting right next to me during this girly movie.
(Betty jumps over to the seat on Archie's left.)
(Veronica jumps over to the seat to his right.)
Veronica: ...And ye shall receive.
(The last shot is a wide shot of Archie with an arm around Betty and Veronica's shoulder as Archie is happy to have two girls next to him and the girls are happy to have Archie back all to themselves. Three rows down Jughead is watching the movie and eating his popcorn as Trula rests her head on Jughead's right shoulder without him seeming to notice. Jughead is still holding her hand, but more to keep her from running back to Archie than anything else.)
Archie: Now this is a happy ending.
Jughead: Could use a few more explosions though. And more salt.
We need a new Trula story by Rex.
Yeah, I miss the character and the artist. He's the one artist I'd want if the story involves a large portion of the cast because how he distinguishes each one from the other.
Second is Ruiz. Ironically his only weakness is Trula Twyst's curly hair. :)