Panel one: Jughead is in his room as he is lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling as he has tried to fall asleep but can’t. Scattered along his bed are various Mega Man and Sonic The Hedgehog comics.
Jughead: Sigh. I guess after eighteen hours, I just can’t squeeze out a two hour nap.
Panel two: Jughead looks over the left side of his bed where we see several empty dishes with various food stains and a few chicken bones on the ground. Jughead pats his stomach complacently.
Jughead: And I’ve reached my quota of food for the next few hours.
Panel three: Jughead jumps out of bed as he slips on his shoes. Out a window, we can see a bird carrying a carrot wrapped in a note.
Jughead: As much as I don’t like moving and having to be active…
Jughead: I hate being absolutely bored even more.
Panel one: Jughead is entering is in the living room as no one else is around.
Jughead: Where is everyone?
Panel two: Jughead snaps his fingers as he remembers.
Jughead: Oh yeah!
Jughead: Mom and Pops took Jellybean to see great aunt Lenore today! They’ll be gone for the rest of the afternoon.
Panel three: Jughead is sitting on the sofa as he is unimpressed by the TV shows he is clicking to.
TV: Now to follow the adventures of The Rabbit Man of Ken-
TV: Hey, actors who can’t find work acting doing things that other people do—
TV: Follow the life of a kid who just eats, sleeps, and mooches off of friends in—
Panel four: Jughead drops the remote over his shoulder as it lands on the sofa as Jughead begins to walk towards a window.
Jughead: I’d rather read a book than watch a TV show like that!
Panel five: Jughead looks out the window to see Hot Dog’s empty dog house. Coming out of a rabbit hole nearby is a battalion of bunnies wearing camouflage face paint crawling across the yard like they were going under a barbwire fence. One rabbit is wearing a military helmet with a carrot sticker on it as he motions for his bunny battalion to continue. A bunny wearing a surgeon’s mask sticks its head out of the hole and motions at his wrist to tell them they have to hurry with whatever they are planning to do. The bird from earlier is preparing to pick up the surgeon bunny.
Jughead: Rats. Looks like Hot Dog’s already went out with his wagging tailed friends.
Panel six: Jughead leaves his house as he walks down his drive way. Behind Jughead, Sgt. Carrot is motioning for his bunny battalion to move out as they begin to hop in a single file line and salute.
Jughead: That’s actually not a bad idea to hang out with friends when you’re bored. Especially when hijinks galore happen with you best bud.
Panel one: Jughead is knocking on the door of the Andrews’ house as he straightens his hat and prepares for whatever misadventure is to come. Behind Jughead one of the bunny’s has a pair of binoculars as he is scoping the area.
Jughead: I wonder what misadventure Archie has today: accidentally super gluing his socks to his shoes, saving Mr. Lodge from kidnappers, needing saving from Ronnie…
Panel two: Mrs. Andrews opens the door and greets Jughead.
Mrs. Andrews: Oh, good afternoon, Jughead.
Jughead: Mrs. A. One of few females who makes me pause and thinks that the entire guy-girl relationship might have merits.
Panel three: Jughead looks over Mrs. Andrews shoulder as he peeks to see if Archie has gotten himself into any trouble. Mrs. Andrews is blushing from Jughead’s compliment.
Mrs. Andrews. And for a girl-hater per excel lance, you can say the sweetest things.
Jughead: Momentary lapses in better judgment.
Jughead: Say, what’s our boy Archie gotten himself into for today?
Panel four: Mrs. Andrews points at the empty car space in the drive way as Jughead looks on. The rest of the bunny battalion are peeking their heads out from inside the car garage.
Mrs. Andrews: Oh, him and his father went fishing a few hours ago.
Panel four: Jughead puts his hands in his pockets as he sadly walks away as Mrs. Andrews closes the door. Behind Jughead, the bunny with binoculars is looking upwards as a grappling line is coming out of nowhere and going nowhere off panel as Sgt. Carrot and the rest of the Bunny Battalion zip off-panel.
Jughead: Sigh. A guy can’t wait over half the day for a friend to wake up before he decides to head off with a loved one…?
Jughead: Guess I gotta go a bit further if I’m going to find any excitement for the day.
Panel one: Jughead looks over at Betty’s house as he cheers up. Sgt. Carrot is talking with Betty’s cat Carmel. Sgt. Bunny is sticking out his leg and pointing at it as Carmel tilts her head in confusion. Behind Sgt. Carrot the rest of the Bunny Battalion are hard at work. Several bunnies are weaving a small basket and another tired rabbit is trying to blow up a small hot air balloon all by himself.
Jughead: Wait, that doesn’t sound like me and I don’t have to go far when Betty lives right next door.
Panel two: Jughead is at the Betty Cooper house as Mr. Cooper answers.
Jughead: Hello, Mr. Cooper. I thought maybe I could see Betty.
Panel three: Mr. Cooper stares at Jughead in surprise.
Panel four: Jughead waves off Mr. Cooper’s thought process as Mr. Cooper lets out a sigh of relief.
Jughead: Oh. Don’t worry, I don’t want to ask her out, I’m just bored and wanted to talk with someone.
Mr. Cooper: Wheew. What a relief…!!
Panel five: Mr. Cooper explains that Betty isn’t home as Jughead begins to inquire why Betty didn’t tell him about her day.
Mr. Cooper: Well, I’m sorry, but Betty and Veronica just finished their cake for the county bake contest in Greendale and won’t be bake for hours.
Jughead: Wait, Betty was entering a cooking contest and didn’t tell me about it?
Panel six: Mr. Cooper talks with Jughead as Jughead sadly waves goodbye. Behind Jughead, one of the bunny’s somehow gets his foot tangled in a rope for a small hot air balloon as the rest of the bunny battalion try to keep him from floating away as they clutch at his ears. Sgt. Carrot face palms at the sight of his troops.
Mr. Cooper: Wouldn’t you have just eaten it?
Jughead: Sigh, yeah….and wacky shenanigans would have followed.
Panel one: Jughead is walking along a suburban street as it seems like it’s only him out. In a small hot air balloon floating just behind Jughead, Sgt Carrot is pointing ahead of Jughead and is rubbing two carrots together to signal his rabbit soldiers.
Jughead: Archie’s not around, Betty’s gone…and she took Ronnie with her so I don’t even have an excuse to even go to the Lodges now…
Panel two: Jughead looks over to see Jinx Malloy who is happily skipping along as he is wearing a necklace under his shirt. For once no calamities are happening around him. In the bushes behind Jinx, several small eyes and long rabbit ears are peering at him. Sgt. Carrot has dropped a rope as he is climbing down the hot air balloon.
Jughead: Say, Jinx Malloy! He just walks around and misadventures happen!
Panel three: Jughead runs up to Jinx as he has his arms over his head, his body bent down and looking over his right shoulder to see if a plane or something else is going to fall out of the sky.
Jinx: Hey, Jughead!
Jughead: Hello, Jinx. Say, don’t mean to pry, but I’ve noticed that you’re taking an afternoon stroll and Riverdale is still standing…
Panel four: Jinx proudly pulls out his lucky rabbit foot as Jughead raises an eyebrow in disbelief. Behind Jinx, Sgt.Carrot is glaring at him as the rest of the bunny battalion begins to hop out of the bushes to stand behind Sgt. Carrot.
Jinx: I know! I just bought this lucky rabbit’s foot and not one bad thing has happened!!
Panel five: Jughead begins to question Jinx as Jinx begins to twirl the rabbit’s foot around.
Jughead: So no accidents, mishaps, perils, bad ju-ju, calamities, mishaps, hoodoos, or slight armageddons?
Jinx: Not a trial or error for me today!
Panel six: Jughead forlornly walks away as Jinx turns around in fright to see Sgt. Carrot motioning with his knee and leg that’s he’s going to break something. The rest of the bunny battalion is beginning to leap at Jinx.
Jughead: Well, I guess bad things can’t happen to a guy all the time.
Panel one: Jughead is knocking on the Mantle house as the door way has a banner reading: HOME OF THE MANTLES!! On the doorway is a picture of the entire family striking a pose. In the air, Sgt. Carrot and the Bunny Battalion are riding birds. Sgt. Carrot has the rabbit’s foot as he motions onward. One rabbit has fallen from his bird and is clinging to the legs of the bird for dear life.
Jughead: Wow, I bet Reggie’s house annoys condominiums.
Panel two: Reggie, with a dopey smile, red nose, and glazed eyes, opens the door and greets Jughead.
Reggie: Jughead! My good sweet charming friend!
Jughead: Well, you got my name right.
Panel three: Reggie reaches out and hugs Jughead as Jughead’s eyes grow wide in shock.
Reggie: Friends!? Hah! You and me are like brothers!!
Jughead: I’m adopted and running away from home!!
Panel four: Mrs. Mantle reaches over to pull Reggie off of Jughead as Jughead begins to wipe his shirt off. Reggie is still smiling like a dope all the while.
Mrs. Mantle: I’m sorry, Jughead. Reggie had a cold today and his medicine…has side effects.
Panel five: Jughead begins to walk away from the Mantle home as Mrs. Mantle begins to drag Reggie back inside as he waves goodbye to Jughead. Jughead looks over his shoulder disappointed.
Jughead: Here I was hoping to trade a few barbs…but a nice Reggie Mantle is even more boring than how I feel today!!
Panel one: Jughead is on his cellphone as he is calling Ethel. Along the sidewalk, unnoticed by Jughead, the bunny surgeon is carrying a ball of string with a needle stuck in it as he hops along. Unnoticed to him, a large dog is coming at him.
Jughead: Well, I guess a date with Ethel isn’t the worst thing I can do to pass the afternoon. Spontaneous combustion would be unpleasant…
Panel two: Jughead is talking on the phone to Ethel. Sgt. Carrot and his bird ride knock the dog away from the surgeon bunny as the surgeon bunny salutes Sgt. Carrot.
Jughead: Yeah, Ethel. How about a date with—
Jughead: Could you speak up, your voice sounds like a stuffed up attic.
Panel three: Jughead takes his cellphone away from his ear as he winces because of the yelling Ethel is giving him.
Cellphone: I SAID I WOULDN’T DATE A RAT LIKE YOU EVER EVER EVER!!!
Panel four: Cut to the Muggs living room as a place has been made for the sick Ethel who is blowing her nose as she is on a tantrum as her father tries to stop her from smashing a lamp. Mrs. Muggs is looking over her shoulder in fright as she explains things to Jughead.
Mrs. Muggs: I’m sorry, Jughead. Ethel came down with a summer cold and took some medicine… .
Ethel: I despise Jughead Jones! I’ll bash his face! Mash his bones! Lemme at ‘em!!!
Mrs. Muggs: …And there are side effects.
Panel five: Jughead closes up his cellphone as he shrugs his shoulders. High in the air, the Bunny Battalion are using the birds to lift the dog high into the air. The bunny surgeon is hopping away with the ball of string.
Jughead: I don’t know what’s worse, the sickness or the cure.
Panel one: Jughead is wearing a tank top, yellow and black stripped shorts, and sandals as he enters Riverdale Beach.
Jughead: Maybe a change of setting will put some action in this story.
Panel two: Jughead looks over at an ice cream vendor who has a line of teenage boy and girl couples happily buying ice cream. In the background, Jinx Malloy, wearing swim trunks and on crutches with a broke leg, is walking along causing someone carrying a surfboard over his shoulder to hit someone accidentally with the surfboard, causing that person to accidentally kick a small yellow sand bucket away from children making a sand castle, and the bucket is heading for several burly, scary looking beach bullies.
Jughead: Hm. Couples are getting along and even actually accompanying their boyfriends so no complaints about melted ice cream can be heard…
Panel three: Jughead looks over at a bunch of burly muscular guys helping a small girl build a sand castle as several other kids cheer them on. One of the bullies has a large bump on his head as he smiles dopily.
Jughead: The local beach bullies are quite docile today…
Panel four: Jughead is looking on as a teenage boy is putting suntan lotion on a teenage girl will another teenage boy talks with him. At his feet someone is buried in sand and has a straw sticking out of the sand as his only means of breathing.
Boyfriend: Excuse me, that’s my girlfriend you’re putting oil on.
Other teen: Of course. She just asked for me to put lotion on her back.
Panel five: Jughead walks away as he rolls his eyes as the boyfriend and girlfriend wave goodbye to the other guy.
Boyfriend: Oh. That’s okay. I wouldn’t want to risk her getting sun burn.
Girlfriend: Thank you for your help.
Jughead: Life’s never fun when understanding reigns over the land.
Panel one: Jughead looks over and spies Trula Twyst lying on a beach towel as she is reading a psychology book titled: Food & Mind. Jughead actually looks happy to see her.
Jughead: Trula Twyst?!
Jughead: Perfect, I can do battle with my archnemesis!
Panel two: Jughead opens up his arms and prepares for a salvo as Trula Twyst looks up from her reading.
Panel three: Trula Twyst goes back to her reading as Jughead’s arms drop and he glares down at her.
Jughead: Hey, what’s wrong with you?! Where’s the mind games?
Trula: It’s a bye week.
Panel four: Jughead glares down as Trula sits up.
Trula: Juggers, your mind is very complicated and requires strenuous study, so not to burn myself out on the project, I’m taking a day or two off.
Panel five: Jughead walks away in revulsion as Trula smiles as she calls out to Jughead.
Jughead: I hope they take away your villain membership after they hear reports of your languor!!
Trula: Don’t be like that, Juggers!!
Jughead: I want to do something and you don’t! Typical female behavior!!
Panel one: Jughead is leaving the beach as he begins to yawn.
Jughead: All this trying to find something interesting on this boring day has made me sleepy…
Panel two: Time has passed as Jughead’s parents and Jellybean arrive home. Mr. Jones is opening the door and calling for Jughead. Mrs. Jones is holding Jellybean who has various kiss lipstick marks on her face and head. One is just over her eyes as she keeps it closed. Hopping behind the Jones Family is a happy bunny with a newly returned stitched up leg.
Mr. Jones: Jughead! Are you up yet?!
Panel three: Mr. Jones looks downward.
Mr. Jones: Typical.
Panel four: Jughead is taking a nap on the couch as Mr. and Mrs. Jones look on disapprovingly. Jellybean is crawling on Jughead’s stomach to his face as he happily snores.
Mr. Jones: I can’t believe he’s spent the entire day sleeping.
Mrs. Jones: I know. How can you find any excitement in life if you don’t get outside and mingle about?