Page 1

Panel one: Jughead is eating at the kitchen table with his family as the table is stacked with food from chicken, various pies, a roast, cakes, a roast and a stack of pancakes. Naturally, Jughead has the most on his plate of all the items listed. Jellybean, in her high chair, is right next to him as she is fiddling around with mashed potatoes and peas with her spoon and fork. Mr. Jones has pancakes, toast and a glass of orange juice as his breakfast. Mrs. Jones has a cup of coffee, a pancake, and cereal. Mr. Jones is reading a newspaper that has only one article WATCH KEVIN KELLER. Mrs. Jones is talking with Jughead as she seems thrilled about her news.

Jughead: Wow. Great breakfast, Mom. Finally got enough desert for my breakfast!

Mrs. Jones: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and what better way to celebrate that the entire family is going on a cruise to—

Off-panel: WRAP! WRAP IT UP!

Panel two: Suddenly a man dressed like a director (wearing a red beret, sunglasses, a red and black sweater, and kakis) is yelling into a megaphone as the Jones family turns towards him. The walls in the kitchen begin to shift and slant as if they are being moved away from the family.

Director: THAT'S IT! CUT! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU'RE NO LONGER GETTING PAID!!

Director: JUGHEAD HAS BEEN CANCELED!!!

Panel three: A top angle view as we can see that we are in a film studio as the walls of the kitchen are being carried away by several workers. The director is talking with Mr. and Mrs. Jones as they are both unhappy with what is going on. Jughead is looking on in shock as two crew members are carrying away the kitchen table from him. Jellybean is undoing her tied up hair as her eyebrows are furrowed and her cheeks are puffed up in rage. In the background of the studio, we can see a set for Katy Keene being set up as another director is going over what to do with Katy and her supporting actors. Also there is a snack table where Chuck, Dilton, Trula are at.

Mr. Jones: Canceled?! I actually have real daughters going into college this year! Yale! I need this job!

Mrs. Jones: Forget you! What about me! I do NOT want to go back to the soaps!

Jughead: Um...what is going on?

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead turns in his chair to watch his parents storm off the remainder of the set as the entire Jones house is being moved away. In the background of the studio, a guy wearing a Cosmos, The happy martian costume is skipping along with a line of kids wear the exact same Cosmo, The Happy Martian T-shirts and wearing Cosmo hats. Jellybean is climbing off her high chair.

Mr. Jones: I have a contract!

Director: Look, bud, the show's got the reviews, but not enough views. It has to go! The studio plans on expanding Kevin Keller to a full hour.

Panel two: Jughead is standing up as a worker is taking his chair as he looks over at Jellybean has her arms folded at her chest as she glares off into the distance as a worker is carrying her high chair over his shoulders.

Jughead: Okay, Jellybean, I think that reality has done a flip and gone wonkers on us.

Panel two: Jellybean turns and yells at Jughead as Jughead is caught by surprise.

Jellybean: I ain't yer sister, mac! Not even pretend no more!

Panel three: Jellybean is storming off as she pushes past two interns carrying coffee, causing the drinks to spill on the ground as several angry producers look on. Jughead is scratching his head as he looks on in confusion with his hat tilted to his left.

Jellybean: So I ain't gotta put up wit' your methodical like acting like none no more neither!

Panel four: Everything has now been removed as Jughead is a barren area of the studio as producers, writers, and various directors and staff rush around him, like a rock in the river. A camera man has lost control of fork lift as he chasing after a panicked actor dressed like Indiana Jones.

Jughead: My life is a show? My parents aren't my parents? Jellybean can talk—well not grammatically well--?

Jughead: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead licks his lips as he looks over at the snack table as Chuck and Dilton are talking with one another as they talk with each other and don't notice Jughead. Trula is at the table as she is drinking a glass of water.

Jughead: I think a bite or two will recharge my brain so I can figure out what's going on!

Panel two: Jughead is skipping towards the snack table as Dilton and Chuck are continuing their conversation before they make room for Jughead.

Dilton: So I'm only getting a limited series, but I think it could get picked up for more episodes...

Chuck: Dilt, m'man, I thought the same thing with mine, but I'm just the occasional friend for Archie or—

Jughead: Pardon gents.

Panel three: Jughead looks over his shoulders as Dilton and Chuck look back at Jughead and whisper as they walk away.

Dilton whispering: Poor guy. He's so immersed in his character...

Chuck whispering: Yeah, can you believe anyone would wear that hat outside of the studio?

Panel four: Jughead is adjusting his hat as he is about at the snack table as a depressed Trula is deep in thought.

Jughead: This is weird. Real weird—and I'm already a unique and peculiar type guy as is!

Page 4

Panel one: Jughead is getting a piece of cake as he talks with Trula, who looks like she is about to cry.

Trula: It was...it was nice working with you.

Jughead: Not for me it wasn't.

Panel two: Jughead puts his plate down as he tries to regain himself and points an accusing finger at Trula as Trula responds in bewilderment.

Jughead: Ah-ha! Now I get it! This is all your doing! You got everyone to go along and got Mr. Lodge to set this up!

Trula: What? Mr. Lodge is just a character and...

Panel three: Trula begins to pull her hair off to reveal that it's just a wig as she really has short blond hair. Jughead looks on in complete shock and has his hands holding down his hair just so it won't come off as he lets the piece of cake with a giant bite out of it fall to the floor.

Trula: Sigh. The producers have gone over this with your for years. Why should I bother playing amateur psychologist when I'm fired from even acting like one from now on?

Panel four: Trula hands her curly haired red wig to Jughead as Jughead takes it hesitantly in both hands as he holds it away from his chest as his eyes are wide and his face is pale. Trula is leaving as tear rolls down her right face cheek.

Trula: Look, I don't have a previous series to go back to and no one's talked to me and I don't think they will...so I'm just going to leave now.

Panel five: Trula is gone as Jughead looks at the wig as he begins to regain his senses.

Panel six: Jughead drops the wig and jumps away in pure fright. In the background, Wilbur is being carried off by four security guards as he twists and protests. On the ground is a sign that reads: GIVE WILBUR ANOTHER CHANCE!!

Jughead: YAAAHH!!

Page 5

Panel one: Jughead is eating a cupcake as he is watching a group of writers at a table writing on their laptops. One of the writers' laptop screens has: ARCHIE LIKES BETTY. ARCHIE LIKES VERONICA. ARCHIE FALLS DOWN. REGGIE MAKES JOKE.  The other writer is just playing solitaire as he looks over and gives the other writer a thumbs up.

Jughead: That does read like a typical day for Arch...

Panel two: Jughead turns around as Archie runs towards him.

Archie: Hey! I just heard the news about your show! 

Jughead: Hear anything about my mental breakdown?

Panel three: Archie puts an arm around Jughead's shoulder as he begins to lead him away from the writers as each one is now typing using only a finger at a time with one writer furious that an animated paperclip is on the screen.

Archie: Look amigo, you had a good run. Hey when you spin off from the flag ship, the boat will stay afloat for awhile, but it'll leak eventually.

Panel four: Archie is continuing to act arrogant as Jughead turns his head as he sees Reggie wheeling a child around and skipping along as he does so. Jughead turns his head to see Reggie as he looks on incredulously.

Archie: I mean, you had to know that no matter how hard you put yourself into the character, it had no legs, right?

Jughead: I walk just fine. I just don't like moving in general.

Panel five: Jughead is walking away as Archie begins to text on his cellphone. Reggie has stopped and is being nice as he hands the kid a piece of cake and a balloon as he reacts like he scored a game winning touchdown after seeing the child smile as he jumps up in the air. Jughead's head is swimming as he dimly walks away.

Archie: For old times sake, I'll see if I can get you back on my show a bit more.

Jughead: Archie is Reggie, Reggie is nice...

Jughead: It's like throwing a twilight zone into the outer limits!

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is watching near a football scene with a backdrop and fake field grass as Moose is waving off Midge as Midge is screaming at Moose. Moose is putting on a red robe and putting on reading glasses as he walks away from Midge while giving her the hand as if to block her from approaching him. In the background, the Riverdale football extras are trying to hold the fake and overly sized goal post up as it begins to fall as the director and producers look on giving various hand gestures as directions to them.

Midge: I hate having to work with you all the time!

Moose: You think you have it tough, my dear?! Try having to act dumber than you in every scene!! I should win an Emmy!!

Panel two: Ethel is wearing a Mecha Sally costume as she is talking with Nancy and Tomoko as they look on in bewilderment. Jughead is just beside them listening on as Melody is walking by with several fanboys in Josie and the Pussycat shirts follow after her with hearts in their eyes and over their heads.

Ethel: --Yeah, the actress who plays Sally had a nervous reaction to the paint, so they're moving me over! It might be permanent if she never wakes up!!

Panel three: Jughead is looking on at a music set as Lil' Jinx and her supporting cast are dressed up in different color suits and sunglasses as they begin to do the Gangnam style dance. The Dance set has various colored tiles lighting up in their color as they begin with Lil' Jinx up front. Her dad is behind everyone else as he is struggling to keep up.
Lil' Jinx: Do it Gangnam Style!

Jughead: Wow.

Panel four: Jughead is sitting in the audience as a stage has been set up for the Betty and Veronica show. Up in the rafters are signs for applause as a stage worker is hanging off the BETTY AND VERONICA SHOW sign just over the stage.  The audience is made up of various fan girls who hold up posters and banners of their favorite between the two girls. The teenage male audience looks on and has various signs like: MARRY ME BETTY and ONLY YOU RONNIE. A set of fans for Betty and a set of fans for Veronica are looking and staring down at each other as if preparing to attack. Down the set, the Cooper living room, Betty and Veronica are arguing as Jughead shrugs his left shoulder as begins to eat a candy bar.

Betty: I'm the star of the show!

Veronica: You couldn't be a star if you had four more extra points to go with the one on your head!

Jughead: Huh. At least this seems somewhat familiar.

Page 7

Panel one: Jughead is walking backstage as Svenson is carrying a large ladder over his head and Mr. Weatherbee is practicing being angry as he holds up his script.

Jughead: I just don't get it. My life isn't entertainment. I try to limit my days to just eating and sleeping.

Panel two: Jughead tries to talk to Archie as Archie stomps past him down a hallway.

Jughead: Speaking of...

Jughead: Hey, Arch, you have a trailer with food and a place to sleep, right?

Archie: Not now, bit player!

Panel three: Jughead looks on as Archie is arguing with Kevin Keller who is wearing a fancy sparkling blue suit and matching pants as the paparazzi surround him and take his picture as he soaks it all in with a giant smile.

Archie: Who do you think you are? I built this place!

Kevin Keller: I'm the new big star in this studio! And my light shines over the entire world!   

Panel four:   Archie and Kevin Keller begin to trade insults as the paparazzi take pictures. Jughead is being blinded by the light as he attempts to shield himself with his arms and turns his upperbody away.

Jughead: Wow, he must have meant that literally!!

Jughead: That light!! It's blinding!! And I've got my eyes closed!!

Page 8

Panel one: Jughead is suddenly sitting up on his couch as he knocks a magazine with a picture of a blond hair kid wearing a bowler hat with two feathers as he is drinking five sodas at once while daydream about a unicorn headlocking a dragon. A beam of light coming from a window is hitting where Jughead's head had been. Jughead's head imprint can be seen on the couch cushion. In front of the table is a coffee table covered in chips, cheetos, various candy wrappers, and a pizza put in between two hamburger buns with a bite taken out of it.

Jughead: No don't cancel me!! I'll put juggling into my act, I swear!!!

Panel two: Jughead sits up as he looks around to see that everything is normal.

Jughead: Wait...I must have fallen asleep.

Panel three: Jughead looks at the window where the curtain is pulled back and a beam of light is shining where his head was.

Jughead: Yeah, that's where that bright light came from...

Panel four: Jughead looks down at the magazine as he begins to pick it up.

Jughead: And I know what caused that horrible nightmare!

Panel five: Jughead is holding up the magazine and reading the cover that has the blond soda drinking kid wearing the bowler hat with the headline: ARNIE ARNOLD'S PAL DERBY DALTON....CANCELED.

Jughead: My favorite show on the Friday night line up. Canceled. It's enough to make my Tivo weep. 

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead puts his feet on the coffee table as he slouches as he begins to turn his TV on with his remote. Jughead is taking another bite out of the pizza burger.

Jughead: Well, if sleeping won't help me cope with my overwhelming sadness about my show being canceled...

Panel two: Over shot just above the tip of Jughead's hat as the TV is turned on to Entertainment Sometimes (ES) with a thirty year old woman on the TV with a screen of Derby Dalton just to her side. The ES is down at the corner right of the TV screen

Jughead: ...I'll watch another show instead.

Peggy Praddle: Breaking news for you Derby Dalton fans. It seems that our beloved bowler hat wearing, soda drinking, daydreamer is not done just yet.

Panel three: Jughead is jumping on the couch as he is ecstatic about the news about his show. The pizza slice and buns fly apart in the air.

Peggy Praddle: Sources tell Entertainment Sometimes that the producers and studio will instead revamp the laze about to fit with today's demographics!

Jughead: YAHOO!!

Jughead: After all these years, I knew they couldn't deny the public a beloved icon like Derby Dalton!!

Panel four: Jughead's mood is killed as he is bent over prepared to jump again as he turns towards the TV apprehensively.

TV: The show will be on a hiatus until they figure out whatever it is they want to do to make him kewl to today's audience.

Jughead: Huh. Hopefully it doesn't involve him saying "kewl".

Page 10

Panel one: Jughead is standing up as he scratches his chin and squints one eye as he is thinking hard about what the revamp of Derby Dalton could be.

Jughead: But it does beg the question: What will our favorite character be like when he finally returns to us all?

Panel two: Giant panel and a close-up on Jughead's head as he smiles, winks at the reader, and gives a thumbs up as he seems happy and sure of what will come.

Jughead: But with the fine company and staff of hard workers who make great entertainment for us all, I don't think we have to worry!

THE END.

I thought when I saw the title of thread you scared me. Saying Jughead was cancelled again. I thought know it got popular again because a new artist taking over.

Sorry. That title was a lot cuter years ago. I'll change it to something else to avoid confusion.

A very shrewd, tongue in cheek swipe at the current Archie Comics situation, right? Well played, PTF!

No. I wrote this story long before New Archie. Back when Kevin first got his own title.

I don't mind New Archie at all. I'm not a fan of the Jughead issues I read and Sabrina was awful, but Archie's great, Afterlife is good. I wish the classic was given more respect, but new Archie isn't bad. Heck, it looks like good art is on the way for Jughead.