Sorry. That title was a lot cuter years ago. I'll change it to something else to avoid confusion.

 Page one

Panel one: A dejected Jughead is walking along a sidewalk in a suburban area as Sandy Sanchez, who is in jogging clothes, is running towards him. It is late in the afternoon. Along the road several cars drive past. One car is driving by a man who can barely see over his steering wheel. And he certainly can't see the man crossing the street.

Sandy: Jughead! You're face is as long as your nose. What's wrong? Pops wants you to pay your tab?

Jughead: If only it was. Then I'd be able to reason with a rational person.

Panel two: Jughead is slowing walking along as Sandy is running in place as she talks with him. A pedestrian narrowly avoids being hit by the car as he dives into someone's yard.

Sandy: Who are we talking about?

Jughead: It's my mom. She says that I'm lazy, eat too much, and won't let up on me unless I do something about it.

Panel three: Jughead is even sadder as he relays his situation to Sandy. Sandy is rolling her eyes good-naturedly. The pedestrian is being helped to his feet by several attractive ladies as his mood shifts from terror to joy.

Jughead: She won't even let me sleep two extra hours late and only two helpings of desert for breakfast.

Sandy: How ever will you survive?

Page two:

Panel one: Jughead slumps over and places his hands in his pockets as he walk ahead. Sandy is enthusiastically talking, trying to cheer him up. Jughead is walking along like he's walking towards his execution. The girls are carrying the pedestrian over their heads, as if he's too injured to walk on his own.

Jughead: I don't know, Sandy. I just don't know...maybe a few burgers at Pops and crashing on Archie's sofa will give me a few ideas.

Sandy: Hey, how about I help you with your procrastination?

Panel two: Jughead is walking away and waves his hand at Sandy as the idea. Sandy places her hand over her face as she shakes her head despondently in response to Jughead's reply.

Jughead: No, I don't need help with that. I'm already too good at it. That's what's the problem.

Panel three: Sandy has darted in front of Jughead to stop him in place and to explain what she means. Jughead is in mid step as he stops. Sandy has both arms stretch out as if to block him from leaving before she explains her meaning.

Sandy: No! I mean, let me help you get physically fit! You getting exercise should satisfy your mom. I'll be with you every step of the way.

Panel four: Jughead is scratching his chin as he is debating whether he should actually try to exercise. Sandy is tugging at Jughead's arm, as if trying to get him started already before he has made his mind up.

Jughead: I don't know...is a pain in the neck worse than aching all over?

Sandy: I usually have to exercise alone, and I'd enjoy the company! C'mon, I promise it'll be fun!

Panel five: Jughead shrugs his shoulders as he reluctantly relents to an overly enthusiastic Sandy.

Jughead: You really shouldn't make promises you can't keep...but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Panel six: Sandy runs off as Jughead looks on puzzled as if he doesn't understand the meaning of Sandy's words as they're not doctrine that Jughead uses in his everyday life.

Sandy: Super! I'll be by your house bright and early tomorrow!

Jughead: "Bright and early"? What an odd thing to say. I wonder what she could possibly mean?

Page three:


Panel one: Jughead is in bed as his mother is opening the curtains just above his bed to let a strong beam of sunlight shine on his face as he tries to hide his head in his pillow. The alarm clock on Jughead's stand reads 7: 35 AM. In his room are stack of comics, empty soda bottles and cans, and various posters of food along the wall.

Caption: Bright and early the next day...

Mrs. Jones: Forsythe Pendleton Jones! Your friend has been waiting outside for twenty minutes!

Jughead: Just tell her it will be just as bright later. Later like tomorrow of next year.

Panel two: Jughead, dressed in his usual clothing only wearing a black pair of shorts is greeted by Sandy. Sandy is wearing a Riverdale T-shirt and blue shorts and running shoes. She is on her knees petting Hot Dog, who enjoys the attention.

Sandy: It's about time! You'd be late for your own funeral, Jug.

Jughead: I'd want to be early or on time?

Panel three: Jughead is walking towards his dad's car as Sandy grabs him by his right arm and pulls him towards the sidewalk. Hot Dog is looking on with a hint of amusement at his master's predicament.

Jughead: Dad's on a fishing trip with friends, so borrowing the car shouldn't—

Sandy: No cars!

Sandy: You and I are going to jog all the way to Pickens Park.

Panel four: Sandy is pushing Jughead along as they jog down the sidewalk. Jughead, as you would expect, is hesitant as he still has his eyes shut as he points to fingers at them to illustrate his point. Hot Dog is looking on as he is waving goodbye to Jughead.

Jughead: Jog all the way?! Pickens Park isn't in immediate eye range!

Sandy: It will be after a mile or two....

Panel five: Same shot only with Sandy and Jughead further along in the distance and Hot Dog having fallen asleep in just a few seconds.

Sandy: ...And that should be good enough for the warm up. When we get to the park is when we really get to work.

Jughead: If that's what's in store for us there...let's go somewhere else.

Hot Dog: ZZZZZ

Page four:

Panel one: Sandy is jogging into Pickens Park as Jughead is gasping for breath as he is barely dragging himself behind her. Several park goers look in his direction with surprise and concern. An elderly couple is bird watching. On another tree just beside Sandy and Jughead, three squirrels are pointing at Sandy and Jughead and seem to be interested in them. In the distance, we can see the General Pickens' memorial statue.

Sandy: Jughead, isn't it great to fill your lungs with fresh morning air?

Jughead: You bet...(huff puff) It's much more special when it's your (huff huff) last breath...

Panel two: Sandy is leading Jughead towards a grass area near a pond as several ducks look at them. One duck is swimming in the pond on its head with its legs kicking up in the air. The squirrels are racing down the tree to follow along. One squirrel is motioning for the others to follow with its arm.

Jughead: Now what?

Sandy: I think about fifty jumping jacks would be a great way to loosen up your arms and legs.

Jughead: I think I prefer them attached to the rest of me.

Panel three:  Sandy is doing the jumping jacks as she begins to break a sweat. She is looking straight ahead, focusing on her own workout, not turned to Jughead. She is listening to what she believes is Jughead doing the jumping jacks.

CLAP CLAP


Sandy: Sounds like you're doing great! After the next ten, let's add touching the ground between jumps!

CLAP CLAP

Panel four: We scan over more to see Sandy happily doing her jumping jacks while Jughead is standing beside a tree clapping his hands to sound like he is doing jumping jacks. On top of the tree the squirrels are imitating Sandy and doing jumping jacks. One squirrel looks down on Jughead with ridicule.


Jughead: Let's not and say we did.

CLAP CLAP


Page 5

Panel one: Sandy and Jughead are on a path in the park in a fairly forested area. Several people are running along the path. Sandy is pointing along the path, showing where they will be running. Jughead has his hand along his brow as he is peering out into the distance. The three squirrels are behind Jughead as they follow Sandy's finger with their heads.

Sandy: Here's something I like to do: run as fast as I can before I hit the wall.

Jughead: Wall? Don't you mean a tree? Or can't I see it because of the forest?

Panel two: Sandy is explaining as displeased Jughead his arms folded over his chest and his head turned away from Sandy. Sandy continues in her hopeful ways.

Sandy: No. I mean, I like to run at full burst and see how far I can go before I hit the wall, catch my second wind, and push on through.

Jughead: I seem to recall you promising this experience would be fun at some point in time—

Pane three: Sandy and Jughead are running at full speed. Sandy is zooming ahead as Jughead is struggling to keep up. The squirrels from before are racing along side them. One squirrel is hurdling over a tree branch that had fallen on the path.

Sandy: This is fun!

Jughead: No. the words "fun" and "run" rhyme. That's as close as the two get to ever being alike.


Panel four: Sandy has gotten her second wind as she is running. She has a determined smile on her face as she wipes her brow.

Sandy: And there was the wall and the breakthrough to a second wind!

Sandy: How about you?

Panel five: Sandy turns around to see Jughead just behind her collapsed on the path as he is dead tired and looks like a doll thrown against a wall. Two of the squirrels are standing on Jughead's hat, shaking their heads in disappointment. One squirrel is trying to cool Jughead off with a leaf.

Jughead: I hit the wall...but it hit back like a hurricane!


Page six:

Panel one: A disgruntled Jughead is running along a path as Sandy has a stop watch and begins to time him. Two of the squirrels are along side Sandy while one squirrel follows beside Jughead. Jughead is talking to the squirrel, the first time the squirrels' presence has been acknowledged, as it looks up and shrugs its shoulders at Jughead.

Sandy: Okay, follow this path and it will lead you around in a circle for a good mile. I'll time you and we'll work on doing better and better each time.

Jughead: Where does she get the idea that I'll ever be doing this again?

Panel two: Jughead is running down a hill as Sandy looks on proudly with stop watch in hand. The stop watch shows fifteen seconds have elapsed. The sun is shining as it would if it was around noon.

Sandy: Go, Jughead, Go! I know you can do it. I believe in you!

Panel three: The sun has moved about the sky to show that a good deal of time has passed. Sandy is concerned as she looks at the stop watch as it reads: 1 hour and 25 seconds.

Caption: Later...

Sandy: Of course, I believed in the Easter Bunny until I was fourteen, too...

Panel four: Sandy is walking down the hill as the two squirrels follow. The two squirrels seem to be conversing as they look to be worried about their lost companion. Sandy is talking to herself and not the squirrels.

Sandy: I just don't understand it. He couldn't have gotten lost, and even if he had walked he would have been back by now...

Panel five: Sandy turns to find Jughead sleeping under a tree, his arms behind his head in a relaxed sitting position. Around Jughead are several hot dog wrappers. The missing squirrel is right beside Jughead with a wadded up hot dog wrapper as a pillow. The sleeping squirrel is motioning with a hand for something to continue, going along with what Jughead is mumbling in his sleep. Both of their stomachs are pouched out. In the distance we can see a hot dog bender and his cart selling hot dogs to a mother, father, and their son. Sandy has her hands at her hips as she is a mix of anger and disappointment. The two squirrels are along side her with the same body language.

Sandy: ...Unless he got distracted.

Jughead: zzzz ...yeah...just pile on the relish and cover it with mustard my good man...zzzz

Page seven

Panel one: Sandy is stomping away from an apologetic Jughead, as she is fed up with him and his lack of effort and no success. Jughead has his hand over his mouth as he simultaneously burps and pleads with Sandy. Behind Sandy are the squirrels. The two squirrels that were with Sandy seem to be lecturing the squirrel that was with Jughead as it hangs its head in shame.

Sandy: I'm sorry, Jughead. I tried, but I couldn't have wasted my time more if I attempted to stack ice cubes from here to the sun!

Sandy: Argggh! I could have spent my morning studying for chem.!

Jughead: Sandy! (Burp) I'm sorry.

Panel two: Sandy has stopped as she is still angry, but not as much as a repentant Jughead talks to her.

Jughead: You're trying to help me, and I really do want to enjoy a run in the park and the like—but I'm just not motivated the way you are!

Jughead: I don't enjoy it just to do it or look at nature. The only time I ever run is to be first in the lunch line.

Pane three: Sandy is thinking as she is just finalizing a plan to help Jughead.  Jughead has a hopeful look in his eyes as he is surprised by Sandy's words.

Sandy: And you do that so you can get...

Panel four: Sandy smiles and turns to Jughead who gives her a thumbs up. The squirrels leap in joy as they sense a turn to the positive.

Sandy: Okay! If you're serious about working out and making up for today, come back to this spot tomorrow morning. I have a plan that's sure to work!


Page 8

Panel one: Sandy is looking at her stop watch as a sweaty and exhausted Jughead is running up to her at full speed. Jughead has his tongue hanging out. We cannot see Sandy's other arm, but we can tell that she is holding something in her hand.

Caption: Same place tomorrow after five miles under fifteen minutes.

Sandy: Looks like my new training method is a success.

Jughead: It sure is, Sandy!

Panel two: Sandy holds out a plastic bag containing five cookies as Jughead reaches out for them as he begins to salivate more than sweat now.

Sandy: And here is another bag of my special low fat cookies. No butter and sugar, but cream cheese and apple sauce. And still with a great taste!

Jughead: They may be low calorie...

Panel three: Jughead continues to run along the path in a blue as he munches the cookies as he goes. Sandy is standing along the path as we can see she has a small pile of plastic bags containing her cookies as she waits for Jughead to run another mile to hand him another bag. Several other runners are looking at Sandy with a confused expression. The Squirrels are looking on as the three are sharing a cookie as they chew merrily.

Jughead: --But they're fast food to me!

Sandy: Proper motivation. That's all it takes sometimes.

THE END

 Panel one: Mrs. Jones is walking into the living room holding up a cordless phone as Jughead, Mr. Jones, and Hot Dog are both sitting upright on the sofa as they are watching TV. Jughead and Hot Dog are sharing a bowl of chips as both their mouths are covered in crumbs. Mr. Jones reacts harshly to the news of the phone call as he slouches and crosses his arms in the sofa. On the TV is a Mega Man cartoon. Jellybean is on the ground with her mouth open as she points inside of it.

Mrs. Jones: Hon, it's Rob Hamhock again!

Mr. Jones: Bah! When will that bloated blimp stop blowing his hot air in my direction!? Tell him, if I didn't take his call the last five days, not to waste the rest of the week!!

Panel two: Mrs. Jones walks away as she talks on the phone. Mr. Jones looks over at Jughead as Jughead turns his head inquisitively to his father. Hot Dog flips a chip into Jellybean's open mouth.

Mrs. Jones: Yeas, now's not a good time--

Jughead: Pops, who's this Rob Hamhock who's got your spit polish boiling over the last few days?

Panel three: Mr. Jones turns to Jughead as he seems perplexed that Jughead doesn't now who Rob Hamhock is. Jughead turns back to the TV as has stopped paying attention to his father. Jellybean is reaching up for the bowl of chips as Hot Dog notices at the last second. On the TV screen is Mega Man fighting Cut Man.

Mr. Jones: Son, I know I've told you about Rob Hamhock t million times over. How can you not--?

Jughead: Yep. Uh-huh. Fascinating. I didn't know that. What's that? Super. Glad to know...

Page 2

Panel one: Mr. Jones grabs Jughead by his shirt collar and pulls him up as he begins to walk away from the couch with a reluctant Jughead in tow. Hot Dog and Jellybean are having a tug of war for the bowl of chips and Jellybean is surprisingly winning as Hot Dog is on his hind legs and is using his left front paw to grab onto the coach for extra leverage as he continues to lose.

Mr. Jones: Come with me! I want to show you something!

Jughead: There's something on TV!  Different channels of something!

Panel two: We are in Mr. Jones' house office as he pulls up a seat at his desk and makes Jughead sit in front of a computer on his desk. On the work desk is various folders and paper piles. Also on the desk are various pictures of the Jones Family. One picture is of Baby Jughead diving his head into his birthday cake and next to it is one where Jellybean dives her head into her birthday cake as Jughead sheds a tear in pride from behind.

Mr. Jones: My boy, before you were born, your old man was a famous film critic!

Jughead: When was the last time someone asked you for an autograph?

Panel three: Mr. Jones turns Jughead around and begins to go on the ITube website as he clicks on a video that reads: LAST HAIR RAISING CRITIQUE.

Mr. Jones: You last week for the note Coach Kleats sent about you sleeping during a game of basketball.

Mr. Jones: Now, just watch..

Panel four: A shot of the computer screen as a younger Mr. Jones, wearing a dated suit and pants and sporting an afro is sitting next to a fat guy, with short brown and glasses, in similar bad clothing as they are on a set with various film tape and director clip boards as decorations. On a video panel is a movie title called: KONQUEST OF THE KOMBATIVE CARATE KUKUMBERS. Old Mr. Jones is smiling and pointing away to a distant location while Rob Hamhock points down on the ground to signal staying put.

Old Mr. Jones: Well, Rob, I loved this movie! It was a fun movie made for fun's sake. I point a finger to the movie theater.

Old Rob Hamhock: That's the stupidest review I've heard! This movie is stinky and anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have a soul! Stay home, viewers!

Panel five: Jughead reacts in shock as he watches the ITube video to see his dad rip his hair out as Rob jolts up and prepares to fight. Mr. Jones looks on and shakes his head and covers his eyes as he obviously regrets this moment in time.

Old Mr. Jones: You fat load!  You make me so angry; I could pull my hair out!

Old Rob Hamhock: That's fine by me! Just leave your neck alone! I'll wring that for you!!

Jughead: !!!

Page 3

Panel one: Jughead continues to watch the ITube video as Old Mr. Jones has Old Rob Hamhock in a headlock and takes him to the ground as various actors who resemble Cary Grant, Sylvester Stallone (in boxing trunks and wearing a red bandana), and Robbie the Robot rush the set to separate them.  Mr. Jones feels the top of his head as he frowns.

Jughead: So that's what happened to your hair and--

Jughead: ...Wow. Nice take down. Too bad MMA wasn't created back in the yesterdays, huh?

Mr. Jones: Sigh. I had just finished my comb collection, too...

Panel two: Jughead clicks back on the computer to see various other videos featuring the two. Mr. Jones begins to walk away as he gives the denied arm motion as he begins to walk away in disgust.

Mr. Jones: After that, I quit the critic business, while Rob went at it alone. Now, the twentieth anniversary of the show is coming and he wants me to come back on for a reunion special!

Panel three: Jughead is scrolling down as we see various video searches where we can see Mr. Jones and Rob looking very happy. Mr. Jones stops and looks back questioningly.

Jughead: Too bad. Looks like before, you guys got along really well.

Mr. Jones: Eh?

Panel four: Mr. Jones look down at the screen and smiles as we can see video clips of Mr. Jones and Rob wearing western clothing on a stage set up like a ghost town, another has the two dressed as zombies interviewing a guy who looks like George Romero. And another has the two on a Valentine set as they are both seen crying at a scene of a movie where a woman on a pier waves goodbye at her sailor boyfriend as his submarine pulls out and begins to submerge.

Jughead: See?

Mr. Jones: I guess we did have our moments.

Panel five: Jughead is leaving the room as Mr. Jones is now in the chair and watching the videos with a smile on his face as he happily begins to reminisce on happier times with his former colleague.

Jughead: Weird. I always figured when you shared so many popcorn bags and walked the same sticky carpet with a pal, your friendship could last through anything.

Mr. Jones: You'd think so...

Page 4

Panel one: Mrs. Jones is walking in the hall as Jughead leaves his father's study.

Mrs. Jones: Sigh. I wish your father could live and let live.

Jughead: I think the same thing every time I don't do a chore and he brings it up at the kitchen table.

Panel two: Mr. Jones happily sticks his head out of his studies as he startles both Mrs. Jones and Jughead.

Mr. Jones: Say, Gladys, you didn't happen to take a message from Old Robbie Boy?

Mrs. Jones: Er, no...but his number should be on the caller ID—

Panel three: Mr. Jones merrily runs past Mrs. Jones and Jughead as he races away. Mrs. Jones scratches her head in confusion as Jughead looks accusingly at his mother. Walking along in the hall is Hot Dog with the potato chip bowl on his head as Jellybean rides on his back.

Mrs. Jones: What's gotten into that man?

Jughead: You didn't tell me last about supper being ready again, did you?

Panel four: Mrs. Jones and Jughead are in the kitchen as Mr. Jones is leaning on the kitchen table with his left arm supporting him as he uses his right to hold the phone to his ear. Jughead and Mrs. Jones look at each other with the same befuddled facial expression.

Mr. Jones: ...Yeah, it has been a long time. So let's let bygones be long gone and have one last show together!

Mr. Jones: ...That's great, Robbie. See you Saturday!

Panel five: Mr. Jones rushes up to hug both Mrs. Jones and Jughead in his arms. Mrs. Jones returns the hug while Jughead doesn't react one way to the hug as he begins to ask a question.

Mr. Jones: You hear that, hon?! Back one time only at the old show!

Mrs. Jones: That's great, dear!

Jughead: Wait, mom, you haven't even started cooking?

Page 5

Panel one: Mr. Jones takes a few steps back and opens his eyes wider with the index and thumb of each respective hand to show that he still has great eyesight and inducement into movie critiquing. Jughead seems unimpressed while Mrs. Jones is trying to not laugh at her husband as she puts her right hand over her mouth.

Mr. Jones: It's been a few years, but these eyes can pick out the greatness and flaws of a movie and tell the listeners what's what.

Jughead: I do that with Archie all the time...

Panel two: Jughead shrugs his shoulders as Mr. Jones stares at Jughead with a hint of anger as he scowls slightly at Jughead for making light of Mr. Jones' good news. Mrs. Jones rolls her eyes at Jughead.

Jughead: ...But when I tell him a movie is bad and we should leave, Ronnie  yells at me to shut up and stop ruining her dates with Archie.

Jughead: Dames.

Panel three: Mr. Jones talks with Jughead as Jughead tilts his head in confusion.

Mr. Jones: What do you say, son? Want to go to the Riverdale Public Broadcasting and watch your old man at his old job?

Jughead: Sure, but one question: What's your current job?

Panel four: Mr. Jones crosses his arms across his chest and squints an eye at Jughead as Jughead shrugs his shoulders in a hollow way.

Mr. Jones: Do I have to talk to you during commercial breaks for you to actually listen to me?

Jughead: It'd help, but if those talking candy pieces are on, you have no hope.

Panel five: Mr. Jones is rushing out the kitchen door as Jughead puts his hands in his pockets and begins to walk behind. Mrs. Jones smiles in amusement.

Mr. Jones: C'mon, Jughead! Your old man has get the kinks out of the ol' eyeballs—TO THE MOVIE THEATER!!!

Jughead: The distance I'll travel to bum popcorn and mooch candy treats and not have to pay for my own movie ticket...

Page 6

Panel one: A shot of the Mr. Jones and Jughead in the middle of the movie theater as they watch the movie with a crowd of people around them. Everyone in the movie theater has 3D glasses on. One guy in the front row has his arms wrapped another woman as, unnoticed by him, his girlfriend is glaring down at him from the aisle. Mr. Jones is playing with his 3D glasses as Jughead has a soda and is taking a sip from his straw. An elderly gentleman behind Jughead has 3D binoculars and is peering over Jughead's left shoulder.

Mr. Jones: Hey, the more things change...

Mr. Jones: I remember when I used to watch movies in 3D with your mom on dates.

Panel two: Mr. Jones suddenly jumps back in his chair as something startles him as Jughead and everyone else in the theater remains unaffected and casual about the situation. The old man with binoculars looks over his left shoulder as if he could still see the image of the plane flying away.  The boyfriend has been pummeled by the girlfriend and is slumped and bruised over in his seat. The woman he was seeing on the side looks away and whistles innocently like she was an innocent bystander.

Mr. Jones: WHOA! THAT PLANE IS COMING RIGHT AT US!!

Jughead: The plane is flying over us. The tanks are coming right at us.

Panel three: Mr. Jones and Jughead are watching another movie with a different crowd of people as red, yellow, and orange flashes glare across the movie theater as Mr. Jones shields his eyes from the intense light. Jughead is casually eating popcorn. Numerous viewers are standing up and applauding the explosions like it was classical theater. Several other movie watchers have ear plugs and sunglasses on as the explosions boom and flash.

KKKKAAABBBBOOOOMMBBBB

Mr. Jones: This movie has been nothing but explosions for forty minutes!!

Jughead: Just forty? Mathew Harbor must be trying to tell a story with this flick.

Panel four: Mr. Jones and Jughead are in a different theater and the audience around them is now mostly children, their parents, and a few grandparents who seem confused by the movie as their grandkids jump up and down in their chairs in excitement. The kids have various balloons let lose in the theater, party streamers spreading every where, party poppers spreading confetti in the air. And in the aisle is a sad usher with a broom who knows he's in for a long night's work. Several kids nearly topple the usher off his feet as the run like a savage herd as their parents try to round them up.

Mr. Jones: Back in my day we had real animation! Hand drawn! It was an art!

Jughead: If you like stellar animation, check out The Hub channel when Sabrina the Teenage Witch debuts!

Caption: Expect Jughead to say nice things until we give him his book series back—editor

Panel five: Mr. Jones and Jughead are standing up out of their seats and defending themselves against unhappy horror fans dressed in various monster costumes that do not approve of what the Jones men are saying. Jughead is pushing back against a midget dressed as Chucky who is trying to stab him with a straw. Behind the Jones clan is a group of teens just like the Puppet Master puppets (Blade, Jester, Pinhead, and Six-Shooter) In front of them are Riverdale Hockey team who seem to be rooting on their fellow hockey mask wearing monster; they even have a banner reading: GO JAYSON GO. Sleeping in his chair next to Mr. Jones is a guy dressed like Freddy Kreuger with his hat over his eyes and his feet propped up on the chair in front of him. The rest of the angry mob is dressed like vampires, zombies, and werewolves.

Mr. Jones: --Look! Horror movies have rules! Having the bad guy win at the end for no reason is not a twist or a great ending!!

BOOOO

Jughead: Hey! You listen to what the man is preaching!!


Page 7

Panel one: Jughead and Mr. Jones are on the set of the Rob Hamhock Movies You View set as Mr. Jones shakes hands with Rob. Mr. Jones is wearing a blue button suit and jeans and Rob is dressed casual with a Hawaiian style shirt and wearing brown khakis and dress shoes. He still wears the same glasses from his longer days and his hair has turned white. The set is blue and black with a purple background and two old fashion director chairs on the middle of the set. A small table is placed in between the chairs showcasing popcorn, a soda, and milk duds. A small flat screen is hanging over head. Several crew workers are taping down wires while one seems to have gotten tangled up and is wrapped like a mummy. A camera man is getting set up for the show as he sets up a stand for the camera while his son has his cellphone out to record the show. Jughead notices a old woman knitting a sweater, an African American male with a rainbow over his head as he reads, and a Blue Dinosaur walking together as they head to their sets.

Caption: Saturday at Public Broadcasting Station RPBS

Mr. Jones: It's good to see you again, Rob.

Rob: Likewise, Forsythe. It was so silly to ruin a friendship and viewership over one movie.

Panel two: Mr. Jones motions towards Jughead who notices a stage hand pushing along a cart with nearly a dozen different cakes. On the cart is a sign reading: CAKE MONSTER CAKE TREATS: DO NOT EAT.

Mr. Jones: And this is my son, Jughead.

Rob: Nice to meet you, son.

Jughead: Charmed. Say...I think I'll go stretch my legs a bit before you guys start.

Panel three: Rob and Mr. Jones look on as Jughead chases after the cake cart with his tongue hanging out like a dog sticking his head out a window.

Rob: Quite the son you've got there, Jones.

Mr. Jones: Yeah, I'm not sure what all is there, but most of it is good.

Panel four: Mr. Jones and Rob take their seats as a producer begins to count down the show start time with his hand. A blank flat screen turns on to read: MOVIES YOU VIEW on it.

Mr. Jones: I've missed doing this, dear friend.

Rob: Yeah, the show hasn't been the same without you ,old pal.

Panel five: The show starts as Rob motions over to Mr. Jones who has a nervous smile and weakly raises his hand to signal hello to the camera.

Rob: This is Rob Hamhock and on Movies You View, I have a special guest. My original partner on this long running movie critique series.

Rob: Long time viewers, I'm sure you remember Forsythe Jones.

Mr. Jones: If we haven't outlived them all, Rob.

Page 8

Panel one: Mr. Jones and Rob relax as they both seem comfortable and at peace like two weary travelers finally coming home after a long time apart. The flat screen shows the title CLASSIC REVIEW: KONQUEST OF THE KOMBATIVE KARATE KUKUMBERS

Rob: Ha Ha. Right you are.

Rob: And now, to begin the show, we'll review a classic movie being re-released you and I both remember well...

Mr. Jones: Right you are, Rob.

Mr. Jones: Our classic review is KONQUEST OF THE KOMBATIVE CARATE KUKUMBERS.

Panel three: Rob and Mr. Jones look over at each other and nod.

Rob and Mr. Jones: And we can both say that after all this time....

Mr. Jones: Go see this re-release!

Rob: Still stay home!

Panel four: Mr. Jones and Rob realize that they are both still not on the same page as both show hints of frustration.

Panel five: Mr. Jones and Rob are both darted to their feet and are bumping chests as they look like they are ready to fight. The director becomes frantic as he waves his arms meaninglessly for the two to stop.

Rob: Are you crazy! This movie is horrible! Just look at the title! I know you don't have any hair, but you didn't yank your brain out!

Mr. Jones: The title is clever! The acting is fun! The story makes fun of itself! It's a laugh a minute! You could see that if you weren't still the same pompous, bloated twit after all these years!

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead is wheeling back the near empty cake cart as he is munching on a piece of German Chocolate cake as he watches the melee on the set as Mr. Jones placed Rob in an arm bar and various staff viewers try to pull Mr. Jones off of him.

Jughead: So before the Val the Vampire and Warren the Wolfman factions on Midlight, there was this.

Panel two: Jughead looks on sadly as Mr. Jones and Rob are being held apart by various staff members as the two middle age men look like they want to tear into each other like lions.

Jughead: Poor dad. He was really looking forward to this. I don't know what could make this worse for us Jones males.

Panel three: Jughead is suddenly pounced on from behind by a purple, bulging rectangular eye monster as Jughead is propelled forward into camera view.

Cake Monster: YOU EAT CAKE MONSTER CAKES! NOW CAKE MONSTER EAT YOUR HEAD!

Jughead: YIKES!!

Panel four: Mrs. Jones, Jellybean, and Hotdog are all sitting on the couch as they watch the show on their TV and each have blank expressions at what is happening. Mrs. Jones has the remote control to the TV on the couch arm rest on her right.

TV: WHAT KIND OF HUMAN BEING WOULD LIKE A MOVIE LIKE THIS?!

TV: THE KIND WHO PUNCHES YOU ON YOUR FAT, LYING MOUTH!!

TV: HELP! HE'S NIBBLING ON MY NOGGIN!!

TV: CAAAAAKE!!!

Panel five: Mrs. Jones has the remote in her hand as she changes channels to the approval of both Jellybean and Hot Dog.

Mrs. Jones: Let's watch something more educational...like professional wrestling.

Page 10

Panel one: A shot of Mr. Jones and Jughead driving home. Mr. Jones is driving the car as he has his right hand bandage from where he hurt it hitting Rob. Jughead has his head bandaged from where he was attacked by the Cake Monster. Both act somber as they travel along.

Jughead: How's your hand?

Mr. Jones: Hurts, but at least it gave the loudmouth a fat lip...it'll heal up.

Panel two: Mr. Jones turns to Jughead as Jughead feels his nose with his left hand and his right ear with his right hand.

Mr. Jones: How's your head?

Jughead: Long nose, two big ears, never was much to look at before monster snack time...I'll live.

Panel three: Mr. Jones goes back to focusing on driving sadly as Jughead looks out his window and notices something that gives him an idea.

Panel four: Jughead turns to his dad as his dad begins to light up in joy.

Jughead: Hey, want to kill time and watch one of the greatest movies ever made?


Panel five: The Jones car begins to pull into a movie theater that has a sign reading: RIVERDALE MOVIE PLEX:  1. KONQUEST OF THE KOMBATIVE
CARATE KUKUMBERS. 2. NEW CRUSADERS: THE EVEN NEWER ADVENTURES The movie theater parking lot seems to be packed as various cars pull in and more people are lining up to go into the theater and get their ticket.

Mr. Jones in the car: You're a great son.

Jughead in the car: Helps that I inherited good taste in movies.

THE END.

 


Page 1

Panel one: Jughead is eating at the kitchen table with his family as the table is stacked with food from chicken, various pies, a roast, cakes, a roast and a stack of pancakes. Naturally, Jughead has the most on his plate of all the items listed. Jellybean, in her high chair, is right next to him as she is fiddling around with mashed potatoes and peas with her spoon and fork. Mr. Jones has pancakes, toast and a glass of orange juice as his breakfast. Mrs. Jones has a cup of coffee, a pancake, and cereal. Mr. Jones is reading a newspaper that has only one article WATCH KEVIN KELLER. Mrs. Jones is talking with Jughead as she seems thrilled about her news.

Jughead: Wow. Great breakfast, Mom. Finally got enough desert for my breakfast!

Mrs. Jones: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and what better way to celebrate that the entire family is going on a cruise to—

Off-panel: WRAP! WRAP IT UP!

Panel two: Suddenly a man dressed like a director (wearing a red beret, sunglasses, a red and black sweater, and kakis) is yelling into a megaphone as the Jones family turns towards him. The walls in the kitchen begin to shift and slant as if they are being moved away from the family.

Director: THAT'S IT! CUT! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU'RE NO LONGER GETTING PAID!!

Director: JUGHEAD HAS BEEN CANCELED!!!

Panel three: A top angle view as we can see that we are in a film studio as the walls of the kitchen are being carried away by several workers. The director is talking with Mr. and Mrs. Jones as they are both unhappy with what is going on. Jughead is looking on in shock as two crew members are carrying away the kitchen table from him. Jellybean is undoing her tied up hair as her eyebrows are furrowed and her cheeks are puffed up in rage. In the background of the studio, we can see a set for Katy Keene being set up as another director is going over what to do with Katy and her supporting actors. Also there is a snack table where Chuck, Dilton, Trula are at.

Mr. Jones: Canceled?! I actually have real daughters going into college this year! Yale! I need this job!

Mrs. Jones: Forget you! What about me! I do NOT want to go back to the soaps!

Jughead: Um...what is going on?

Page 2

Panel one: Jughead turns in his chair to watch his parents storm off the remainder of the set as the entire Jones house is being moved away. In the background of the studio, a guy wearing a Cosmos, The happy martian costume is skipping along with a line of kids wear the exact same Cosmo, The Happy Martian T-shirts and wearing Cosmo hats. Jellybean is climbing off her high chair.

Mr. Jones: I have a contract!

Director: Look, bud, the show's got the reviews, but not enough views. It has to go! The studio plans on expanding Kevin Keller to a full hour.

Panel two: Jughead is standing up as a worker is taking his chair as he looks over at Jellybean has her arms folded at her chest as she glares off into the distance as a worker is carrying her high chair over his shoulders.

Jughead: Okay, Jellybean, I think that reality has done a flip and gone wonkers on us.

Panel two: Jellybean turns and yells at Jughead as Jughead is caught by surprise.

Jellybean: I ain't yer sister, mac! Not even pretend no more!

Panel three: Jellybean is storming off as she pushes past two interns carrying coffee, causing the drinks to spill on the ground as several angry producers look on. Jughead is scratching his head as he looks on in confusion with his hat tilted to his left.

Jellybean: So I ain't gotta put up wit' your methodical like acting like none no more neither!

Panel four: Everything has now been removed as Jughead is a barren area of the studio as producers, writers, and various directors and staff rush around him, like a rock in the river. A camera man has lost control of fork lift as he chasing after a panicked actor dressed like Indiana Jones.

Jughead: My life is a show? My parents aren't my parents? Jellybean can talk—well not grammatically well--?

Jughead: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead licks his lips as he looks over at the snack table as Chuck and Dilton are talking with one another as they talk with each other and don't notice Jughead. Trula is at the table as she is drinking a glass of water.

Jughead: I think a bite or two will recharge my brain so I can figure out what's going on!

Panel two: Jughead is skipping towards the snack table as Dilton and Chuck are continuing their conversation before they make room for Jughead.

Dilton: So I'm only getting a limited series, but I think it could get picked up for more episodes...

Chuck: Dilt, m'man, I thought the same thing with mine, but I'm just the occasional friend for Archie or—

Jughead: Pardon gents.

Panel three: Jughead looks over his shoulders as Dilton and Chuck look back at Jughead and whisper as they walk away.

Dilton whispering: Poor guy. He's so immersed in his character...

Chuck whispering: Yeah, can you believe anyone would wear that hat outside of the studio?

Panel four: Jughead is adjusting his hat as he is about at the snack table as a depressed Trula is deep in thought.

Jughead: This is weird. Real weird—and I'm already a unique and peculiar type guy as is!

Page 4

Panel one: Jughead is getting a piece of cake as he talks with Trula, who looks like she is about to cry.

Trula: It was...it was nice working with you.

Jughead: Not for me it wasn't.

Panel two: Jughead puts his plate down as he tries to regain himself and points an accusing finger at Trula as Trula responds in bewilderment.

Jughead: Ah-ha! Now I get it! This is all your doing! You got everyone to go along and got Mr. Lodge to set this up!

Trula: What? Mr. Lodge is just a character and...

Panel three: Trula begins to pull her hair off to reveal that it's just a wig as she really has short blond hair. Jughead looks on in complete shock and has his hands holding down his hair just so it won't come off as he lets the piece of cake with a giant bite out of it fall to the floor.

Trula: Sigh. The producers have gone over this with your for years. Why should I bother playing amateur psychologist when I'm fired from even acting like one from now on?

Panel four: Trula hands her curly haired red wig to Jughead as Jughead takes it hesitantly in both hands as he holds it away from his chest as his eyes are wide and his face is pale. Trula is leaving as tear rolls down her right face cheek.

Trula: Look, I don't have a previous series to go back to and no one's talked to me and I don't think they will...so I'm just going to leave now.

Panel five: Trula is gone as Jughead looks at the wig as he begins to regain his senses.

Panel six: Jughead drops the wig and jumps away in pure fright. In the background, Wilbur is being carried off by four security guards as he twists and protests. On the ground is a sign that reads: GIVE WILBUR ANOTHER CHANCE!!

Jughead: YAAAHH!!

Page 5

Panel one: Jughead is eating a cupcake as he is watching a group of writers at a table writing on their laptops. One of the writers' laptop screens has: ARCHIE LIKES BETTY. ARCHIE LIKES VERONICA. ARCHIE FALLS DOWN. REGGIE MAKES JOKE.  The other writer is just playing solitaire as he looks over and gives the other writer a thumbs up.

Jughead: That does read like a typical day for Arch...

Panel two: Jughead turns around as Archie runs towards him.

Archie: Hey! I just heard the news about your show! 

Jughead: Hear anything about my mental breakdown?

Panel three: Archie puts an arm around Jughead's shoulder as he begins to lead him away from the writers as each one is now typing using only a finger at a time with one writer furious that an animated paperclip is on the screen.

Archie: Look amigo, you had a good run. Hey when you spin off from the flag ship, the boat will stay afloat for awhile, but it'll leak eventually.

Panel four: Archie is continuing to act arrogant as Jughead turns his head as he sees Reggie wheeling a child around and skipping along as he does so. Jughead turns his head to see Reggie as he looks on incredulously.

Archie: I mean, you had to know that no matter how hard you put yourself into the character, it had no legs, right?

Jughead: I walk just fine. I just don't like moving in general.

Panel five: Jughead is walking away as Archie begins to text on his cellphone. Reggie has stopped and is being nice as he hands the kid a piece of cake and a balloon as he reacts like he scored a game winning touchdown after seeing the child smile as he jumps up in the air. Jughead's head is swimming as he dimly walks away.

Archie: For old times sake, I'll see if I can get you back on my show a bit more.

Jughead: Archie is Reggie, Reggie is nice...

Jughead: It's like throwing a twilight zone into the outer limits!

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is watching near a football scene with a backdrop and fake field grass as Moose is waving off Midge as Midge is screaming at Moose. Moose is putting on a red robe and putting on reading glasses as he walks away from Midge while giving her the hand as if to block her from approaching him. In the background, the Riverdale football extras are trying to hold the fake and overly sized goal post up as it begins to fall as the director and producers look on giving various hand gestures as directions to them.

Midge: I hate having to work with you all the time!

Moose: You think you have it tough, my dear?! Try having to act dumber than you in every scene!! I should win an Emmy!!

Panel two: Ethel is wearing a Mecha Sally costume as she is talking with Nancy and Tomoko as they look on in bewilderment. Jughead is just beside them listening on as Melody is walking by with several fanboys in Josie and the Pussycat shirts follow after her with hearts in their eyes and over their heads.

Ethel: --Yeah, the actress who plays Sally had a nervous reaction to the paint, so they're moving me over! It might be permanent if she never wakes up!!

Panel three: Jughead is looking on at a music set as Lil' Jinx and her supporting cast are dressed up in different color suits and sunglasses as they begin to do the Gangnam style dance. The Dance set has various colored tiles lighting up in their color as they begin with Lil' Jinx up front. Her dad is behind everyone else as he is struggling to keep up.
Lil' Jinx: Do it Gangnam Style!

Jughead: Wow.

Panel four: Jughead is sitting in the audience as a stage has been set up for the Betty and Veronica show. Up in the rafters are signs for applause as a stage worker is hanging off the BETTY AND VERONICA SHOW sign just over the stage.  The audience is made up of various fan girls who hold up posters and banners of their favorite between the two girls. The teenage male audience looks on and has various signs like: MARRY ME BETTY and ONLY YOU RONNIE. A set of fans for Betty and a set of fans for Veronica are looking and staring down at each other as if preparing to attack. Down the set, the Cooper living room, Betty and Veronica are arguing as Jughead shrugs his left shoulder as begins to eat a candy bar.

Betty: I'm the star of the show!

Veronica: You couldn't be a star if you had four more extra points to go with the one on your head!

Jughead: Huh. At least this seems somewhat familiar.

Page 7

Panel one: Jughead is walking backstage as Svenson is carrying a large ladder over his head and Mr. Weatherbee is practicing being angry as he holds up his script.

Jughead: I just don't get it. My life isn't entertainment. I try to limit my days to just eating and sleeping.

Panel two: Jughead tries to talk to Archie as Archie stomps past him down a hallway.

Jughead: Speaking of...

Jughead: Hey, Arch, you have a trailer with food and a place to sleep, right?

Archie: Not now, bit player!

Panel three: Jughead looks on as Archie is arguing with Kevin Keller who is wearing a fancy sparkling blue suit and matching pants as the paparazzi surround him and take his picture as he soaks it all in with a giant smile.

Archie: Who do you think you are? I built this place!

Kevin Keller: I'm the new big star in this studio! And my light shines over the entire world!   

Panel four:   Archie and Kevin Keller begin to trade insults as the paparazzi take pictures. Jughead is being blinded by the light as he attempts to shield himself with his arms and turns his upperbody away.

Jughead: Wow, he must have meant that literally!!

Jughead: That light!! It's blinding!! And I've got my eyes closed!!

Page 8

Panel one: Jughead is suddenly sitting up on his couch as he knocks a magazine with a picture of a blond hair kid wearing a bowler hat with two feathers as he is drinking five sodas at once while daydream about a unicorn headlocking a dragon. A beam of light coming from a window is hitting where Jughead's head had been. Jughead's head imprint can be seen on the couch cushion. In front of the table is a coffee table covered in chips, cheetos, various candy wrappers, and a pizza put in between two hamburger buns with a bite taken out of it.

Jughead: No don't cancel me!! I'll put juggling into my act, I swear!!!

Panel two: Jughead sits up as he looks around to see that everything is normal.

Jughead: Wait...I must have fallen asleep.

Panel three: Jughead looks at the window where the curtain is pulled back and a beam of light is shining where his head was.

Jughead: Yeah, that's where that bright light came from...

Panel four: Jughead looks down at the magazine as he begins to pick it up.

Jughead: And I know what caused that horrible nightmare!

Panel five: Jughead is holding up the magazine and reading the cover that has the blond soda drinking kid wearing the bowler hat with the headline: ARNIE ARNOLD'S PAL DERBY DALTON....CANCELED.

Jughead: My favorite show on the Friday night line up. Canceled. It's enough to make my Tivo weep. 

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead puts his feet on the coffee table as he slouches as he begins to turn his TV on with his remote. Jughead is taking another bite out of the pizza burger.

Jughead: Well, if sleeping won't help me cope with my overwhelming sadness about my show being canceled...

Panel two: Over shot just above the tip of Jughead's hat as the TV is turned on to Entertainment Sometimes (ES) with a thirty year old woman on the TV with a screen of Derby Dalton just to her side. The ES is down at the corner right of the TV screen

Jughead: ...I'll watch another show instead.

Peggy Praddle: Breaking news for you Derby Dalton fans. It seems that our beloved bowler hat wearing, soda drinking, daydreamer is not done just yet.

Panel three: Jughead is jumping on the couch as he is ecstatic about the news about his show. The pizza slice and buns fly apart in the air.

Peggy Praddle: Sources tell Entertainment Sometimes that the producers and studio will instead revamp the laze about to fit with today's demographics!

Jughead: YAHOO!!

Jughead: After all these years, I knew they couldn't deny the public a beloved icon like Derby Dalton!!

Panel four: Jughead's mood is killed as he is bent over prepared to jump again as he turns towards the TV apprehensively.

TV: The show will be on a hiatus until they figure out whatever it is they want to do to make him kewl to today's audience.

Jughead: Huh. Hopefully it doesn't involve him saying "kewl".

Page 10

Panel one: Jughead is standing up as he scratches his chin and squints one eye as he is thinking hard about what the revamp of Derby Dalton could be.

Jughead: But it does beg the question: What will our favorite character be like when he finally returns to us all?

Panel two: Giant panel and a close-up on Jughead's head as he smiles, winks at the reader, and gives a thumbs up as he seems happy and sure of what will come.

Jughead: But with the fine company and staff of hard workers who make great entertainment for us all, I don't think we have to worry!

THE END.

 Page one:

Panel one: The setting is Pickens Park. Trula Twyst is standing by a hot dog cart as the hot dog cart bender is giving some six year old kid a two foot long hot dog as he holds out both arms to grab it. Trula is looking at her watch as she waits patiently.

Trula Twyst: It is just past one, the wind is carrying the smell of hot dogs in a northwestern degree at 2 mph...

Panel two: Trula sees Jughead walking along a path with Archie as Jughead blissfully is sniffing the air. Trula looks on as everything is happening as she summerized. The small boy is holding the hot dog up and is taking it down by giant bites as the hot dog tender looks on in awe.

Trula Twyst: Do I know that nose.

Panel three: Jughead notices Trula as Trula is confidently walking towards him and Archie. Jughead is dismayed while Archie jokes with Jughead.

Archie: Looks like you're Trula's tracking device is at full capacity, huh, Jughead?

Jughead: Grummble.

Panel four: Jughead zooms past Trula, taking her by surprise as she raises both eyebrows as her hair is blown back. Jughead leaves a trail of dust behind him as Archie jumps back.

Jughead: Let's see if her tracking device is any match for my warp drive!!

ZOOOM

Page 2:

Panel one: Trula looks on in awe with Archie as they watch Jughead streak across the park, zooming past several people, leaping over people having a picnic while grabbing a  chicken drumstick from someone and circling around several trees before continuing to run away.

Archie: He's first at the lunch line for a reason.

Panel two: Trula begins to run after Jughead as Archie has turned his attention to two attractive female joggers who wave at him.

Trula: If he thinks he can run away from me like that, he's got another thing coming!

Panel three: Jughead is in heavily forested area as he looks around nervously.

Jughead: I think I got a good head start on her...but I've seen locations like this in horror movies that never bode well for the innocent.

Panel four: Jughead turns his head in surprise as he hears Trula's voice.

Trula off-panel: Y-you (huff puff) just...wait...!

Panel five: A completely exhausted and fatigued weakly runs towards Jughead. Her face is red cheeked and beading with sweat, she is breathing heavily, and her hair is a mess. Jughead looks on as he happily notes the situation.

Trula: ...there...! Right (huuufff huff) there...!!!

Page 3:

Panel one: Jughead has his chest pushed out as he looks on happily as Trula Twyst is bent over in front of him trying to catch her breath after running as fast as she could after Jughead.

Jughead: Trula, why it doth seem that you are a wee bit out of shape.

Panel two: Trula glares up at Jughead as she is sucking in air as Jughead pats her on her back as he soaks in the situation and the advantage he has over Trula.

Jughead: Hey! Don't give me that look! All criminal masterminds have henchmen do their leg work for a reason!

Trula: Juggers...!!

Panel three: Jughead zooms away from Trula as he mockingly motions for her to follow. Trula's hair is kicked up by the back draft of Jughead's running speed.

Jughead: Tell you what, I'll wait for you at the other end of the park!

ZOOOOMMM

Trula: !!!

Panel four: Trula begins to jog as she is now carrying her high heel shoes in one hand and is taking breaths in and out as she vainly tries to catch up with Jughead. Archie and the female joggers are running past Trula. Archie is in between the two and he is skipping along happily

Trula : I hope he trips over a tortoise and a hare mistakes his nose for a carrot!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Jughead is drinking a soda in a Styrofoam cup as he is lying on a park bench happily enjoying the day as a penguin and a line of ducks walk past him. By the bench is a litter bin. The bin is filled with Styrofoam cups, supplied by Jughead.

Jughead: Ah.

Jughead: Summersault cola! Refreshing energy boost that makes my taste buds go topsy turvy!

Panel two: Jughead looks down the path as Trula looks like she is about to collapse as she vainly keeps running to catch up with Jughead. Jughead is throwing the cup away in  the nearby trash bin.

Jughead: I'd almost admire her determination if I didn't detest the rest of her.

Panel three: Jughead looks up as Trula's arms hang loosely and she is about to give way it seems as beads of sweat are pouring from her face.

Trula: weezzz weezzz

Jughead: What, is that some sort of new language?

Panel four: Jughead sits up and gives Trula room to sit on the bench. Trula practically collapse on the bench as she has her head tilted just over the bench and her arms stretched along the top.

Jughead: Take a seat. You've earned it.

Trula: huff huff huff puff!

Page 5

Panel one: Jughead is stretching his legs as Trula weakly looks over at him as she is still trying to get her wind back and cool off.

Jughead: You're brain is a little too busy telling your lungs to breath in and out fresh air, so I'll just run things down for you:

Panel two: Jughead begins to run in place as Trula snarls at him.

Jughead: I'm the hare, you're the tortoise. And this little hare can eat and sleep all he wants because we're not racing. We're playing keep away.

Panel three: Jughead points at Trula as Trula turns away, not liking that what Jughead is saying is true.

Jughead: Go ahead and plan where I'll be and wait. For every one step of yours, I'm taking twenty!

Trula: Hmph. You're mistaking cowardice for intelligence.

Panel four: Jughead turns his head to his right to see Ethel waving and blowing kisses at him as she is running at him from a good distance away.

Ethel: Loverboy!

Jughead: Yikes!

Panel five: Jughead is zooming off again as Trula jumps off the bench as Ethel is zooming down the hill.

Jughead: And she actually can match me step for step!

Trula: Get back here!! We're not finished, Forsythe Pendleton Jones the third!!

Page 6

Panel one: Trula looks towards Ethel as Ethel is running straight at Trula at full steam ahead.

Trula: ...I now sympathize with roadkill.

Panel two: Trula bends his waist and shields herself with her arms as she prepares to get run down. Ethel stops on her heels just inches from Trula.

SKRRREEE

Ethel: Oh. Hi, Trula!

Panel three: Trula straightens up and brushes herself off as Ethel kindly talks with her. In the sky the penguin, now using a hand glider, is flying in the lead of a V formation with the ducks from earlier

Ethel: A great day in the park, huh? Bright shiny day and Jughead Jones playing hard to get.

Trula: Oh, it's been just wonderful, Ethel.

Panel four: Trula begins to chase after Jughead again as Ethel cups her chin as she wonders what is going on.

Trula: Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm going to catch Juggers and break his kneecaps for him!

Page 7.

Panel one: Trula turns to see Ethel running backwards and keeping up with her with ease as Ethel shrugs her shoulders and tilts her head towards Trula as Trula is flabbergasted.

Ethel: I don't pry in you and your mind games...but you're running in my game now and you might as well be standing still at your pace.

Trula: ...!!!

Panel two: Trula stops as she takes deep breaths and clenches her fists. Ethel stops running when Trula does.

Ethel: Jughead may seem like a placid, slow type of hunk, but he can go zero to warpspeed inbetween the ding and dong of the lunch bell!


Panel three: Trula wipes sweat off her forehead as she has a determined look as she makes a declaration. Ethel looks on and thinks to herself.

Trula: It doesn't matter!! I'll match him stride for stride somehow...!!

Panel four: Ethel volunteers as Trula is taken back by Ethel's offer of aid as both eyes widen.

Ethel: And I'll help you!

Panel five: Trula questions Ethel as Ethel shrugs her shoulders

Trula: Why would you want to help me when it would take away an advantage you might have on me regarding Jughead?

Ethel: Why...?

Page 8:

Panel one: Ethel happily gives her explanation as Trula is indifferent and sneers to herself.

Ethel: Well, we're friends, right?

Panel two: Trula's blunt response stuns Ethel.

Trula: Wrong.

Ethel: Huh?

Panel three: Trula explains her stance on Ethel with an evil smirk as Ethel listens with sad puppy dog eyes.

Trula: We're rivals. While I believe all rivals have to show respect to one another, friendship they don't. If you did help me—I'd use you for all I could and forget about you right after.

Panel four: Ethel is sincerely hurt by Trula's words.

Ethel: Oh. Well then...

Panel five: Ethel is suddenly happy again as she smiles at Trula which confounds Trula.

Ethel: Even if you don't consider me your friend, I think of you as mine!

Panel six: Ethel has a shoulder around Trula like a friend would as they walk together. Ethel is as happy and kind as she normally is while Trula is uneasy with Ethel and her continued goodness.

Ethel: Now c'mon! We'll start your training implement! It'll be loads of fun!



Page 9.

Panel one: It is a new day in Pickens Park as Ethel has tied five pound weights to Trula's ankles as Trula is lying on the ground under a shade tree and raising her left leg up as she strains. Ethel is always going to be wearing the same coach uniform (blue jumpsuit with whistle) while Trula's look is shorts, a t-shirt, her hair tied back, and sneakers as she trains. Above the shade tree are three squirrels (Wally, Nutmeg, and Oaky-Doaky for those following my fan fics). Wally is directing the other two as they push along a long line of acorns down a tree branch as the acorns land on a duck's head as a penguin looks on holding a small umbrella.

Ethel: That's it! You need to build up your leg muscles as fast as we can!

Panel two: Trula and Ethel are taking long ridiculous strides through the park on another day. As they gracefully do a high step over three squirrels and their small castle made of acorns, several ballerinas just passing by in the park look on jealously. The Penguin has tried to make a castle out of a pile of leaves, but not successfully.

Ethel: Stretch those calfs! Long strides! Long Strides!

Panel three: Ethel and Trula are doing yoga with a picnic cloth under them as both have their right and left legs over their back. Both seem to be having no problem as they talk casually. The three squirrels are next to them trying to imitate them. Wally has his arms and legs behind his back as he is rolled up like a ball, Nutmeg has his tail wrapped around his head, and Oaky-Doaky is barely keeping his balence standing on one foot as the penguin gives him a thumbs up for a job well done.

Ethel: You're pretty good at this!

Trula: Before psychology, gymnastics was my main interest...

Panel four: Trula and Ethel are chugging a gallon of water as several on lookers look on. At their feet are several empty gallon bottles of water. The three squirrels are looking on, as they ponder how they can play along with the girls as the penguin sneaks up on them with a water balloon.

Ethel: Glub Glub. Gotta stay hydrated. Can't stop for water during a chase. Juggie's like a camel.

Trula: Glub Glub!

Panel five: Ethel is tying Trula's shoes in knots that would make the Gordian Knot look like a two year old tied it as Trula looks down at her shoes. In the background, three wet squirrels are chasing after the penguin as they run past a man walking an extremely hair sheep dog.

Ethel: Most important of all: Always tie your shoes tight. Tripping while chasing Jughead Jones is like falling out of a plane.

Trula: Shouldn't I have circulation in my feet?

Ethel: I wouldn't risk it.


Panel 10:

Panel one:  In Pickens Park, Jughead is biting down on a pretzel as he talks with Archie. Jughead smiling ear to ear as he eats and hops on one foot as he sticks the other straight out. Archie's pockets are inside out to show where the money came for Jughead's snack. Behind them at the pretzel cart, a man is putting a sign on his cart that reads: EMPTY as a long line of kids look on sadly. Next to the cart is a trash bin filled with wrappers after Jughead's trip

Caption: A few days later...

Archie: You mean you haven't seen Trula since you ran her legs off, Jughead?

Jughead: Yep. Last I heard she was in the ICU for 3^rd degree blisters!

Panel two: Jughead is happily bragging about his accomplishment while Archie turns around as he notices someone behind them.

Jughead:  Her evil little curly haired, twisted mind was willing, but her flesh was weak.

Archie: Um, Jugster, I think you should forget about flesh because—

Panel three: Jughead turns around and nearly drops his pretzel as he sees Trula Twyst wearing a blue head band with her hair tied up and wearing a yellow and blue tank top and shorts in a runner's stance before a race.

Archie: --Because she looks like she's out for blood!

Panel four: Jughead is zooming away as Trula follows behind as her blaze trail nearly knocks Archie off his feet.

Jughead: Dressing up like an evil volleyball coach doesn't mean you can catch me, Trula!

ZOOM

Trula: You should talk about how someone else dresses, Juggers!

ZIP

Archie: Yow! Look at them go!

Page 11.

Panel one: Jughead is looking back as he runs as Trula is catching up with him. The three squirrels and the penguin are standing on the side of the path the two teens are running on, waving racing flags as if signaling to the two like they were race cars. The penguin has three lumps on its head.

Jughead: Yikes! Did Dilton give her a rocket pack or something!?!

Panel two: Trula is catching up with Jughead as she tries to reach for him. Jughead turns his head to look and begins to panic.

Panel three Trula lunges and tackles Jughead from behind as Jughead falls at the feet of a pair of sneakers.

Trula: Gotcha!!

Jughead: Ack

WHUMPP

Panel four: Trula is on top of Jughead's back as she is pinning his arms behind his back as Jughead struggles to free himself.

Jughead: Who installed the Mach 5's engine in the empty space where your heart should be?!

Trula: Maybe the same person who never gave your belly a bottom. Now, let's talk about how--

Person belonging to the sneakers: Um...

Panel five: Trula and Jughead look up to see Ethel looking down on the two as she is disappointed. In her hands are two movie theater tickets.

Ethel: ...I guess you're busy with Jughead now...?

Page  12

Panel one: Trula puts a knee to Jughead's back to keep him in place as she shows off her catch.

Trula: You can say that.

Jughead: Ow! You got your cloven hooves on my spine?! Ow!! I'm a brittle boy!!

Panel two: Ethel dejectedly walks away as Trula shows signs of guilt for the first time in the story.

Ethel: Oh. Well, I actually I just won two tickets to the Riverdale Matinee showing of Daylight: Fangs and Hearts and thought that you might want to come, Trula...

Ethel: ...but you've already gotten what you've wanted.

Trula: ...Ethel wait.

Panel three: Trula is letting Jughead up as he scrambles to his feet and stumbles away like he had just been given a pardon by the grim reaper.

Trula: All I wanted to do today was teach Jughead that you can never run away from your problems. So the rest of my day is open.


Panel four: Ethel and Trula are walking off as together. Ethel is having a conversation with Trula as Trula thinks to herself as she smiles and rolls her eyes as she listens.

Trula thinking: Sigh, how pathetic of me. Still--I guess it's impossible not to like some people.


THE END.

Huh. That looks really good.

Quote from: daren on July 01, 2016, 07:02:40 AM

QuoteEach with a single monster the other game doesn't have.

You saved the best line for last.

Thanks.

Page  9+ 10: Double splash page of all the good deeds that Kelly is rapidly doing around Dixon college and the nearby community. Nine panels three rows by three.

Panel one: Setting is a staircase to one of the Dixon buildings.  Kelly is carrying a five hundred pound student who is sweating and about to pass out up a flight of stairs with ease as various students move out of her way and look on in awe. Kelly has her backpack and the fat student's back pack in her teeth as she happily skips along.

Panel two: Just outside of Dixon College, Kelly is carrying four eighty pound bags of contract mix to two construction workers near a cement mixer as they both look on in awe. Kelly gives them a friendly wink.

Panel three: Settting is a co-ed dorm room as Kelly has apparently went in and started cleaning up. The male is trying to vainly explain to his girlfriend he doesn't know who Kelly is to no avail. The girlfriend is cracking her knuckles as she prepares to wallop her boyfriend. Kelly is at a dresser and organizing the boyfriend's underwear as she doesn't notice the trouble she's caused.

Panel four: Kelly is pushing a school bus towards an elementary school as the kids are sticking their heads and arms out the windows and motioning for her to stop. The engine of the bus is smoking showing it had broken down. The bus driver looks out his window in bafflement at Kelly's feat of strength.

Panel five: Kelly is giving a small handful of four leaf clovers to a student who is in a wheelchair with a broken leg as two friends struggle to get him up a set of stairs into Dixon College. The student gives Kelly a nod of approval.

Panel six: Kelly is on the ledge of a building cleaning a window as Biology class dissecting a cow's eyeball is going on. A guy at a science station looks on happily at Kelly, not noticing he is missing his cow eyeball in its tray and is about to stab his hand. Nearby a college girl looks at her cow eyeball and looks like she'll throw up.

Panel seven: Kelly is sweeping a hallway in Dixon College with a giant sweeper as a janitor is taking a nap and letting her do all the work. He has a dream balloon of a super model rinsing out a mop.

Panel eight: Kelly is in a classroom surrounded by several college students. She is serving as a judge as two male students with their babies they brought into the college during sessions and have stacked cherrios on the sleeping babies' noses. Each baby is asleep in their carrier and on a separate desk in the front of the classroom. The parents have stacked around fifty to fifty-one star shaped cherrios on their respective baby's nose. Kelly is holding up the victory to the father on the left who wins by one. A student is eating the remainder of the Ninja Eating Star cereal while everyone else silently celebrates by clapping one hand. (Behind their four fingers into the palm.)

Panel nine: Kelly is sitting on a concrete bench as another college girl is crying on her shoulder as she points at her ex-boyfriend with the girl he cheated on. Overhead a bird is about to poop on the boyfriend, who is turning his head to make faces at his ex-girlfriend. Kelly is half paying attention to the girl's plight as she is taking a selfie of herself trying to comfort the girl as Kelly gives a toothy grin.

Page 11

Panel one: Lyric is looking at the tweet Kelly had just sent of her with Kelly "comforting" the college student with a broken heart as it looks for panel nine of the last page. The tweet reads: Mending broken hearts! PLMK what I can do to help! #GoodVotes4Kel. Looking over her shoulder at the smartphone is Summer.

Lyric: Wow, Kelly is awesome!

Summer: No way we can beat her!

Panel two: We see that the setting is just outside of RHO House as the sky is a perfect blue, cloudless day. Paisley is behind a group of RHO sorority girls as she tries to talk but is interrupted by Summer and Lyric.

Paisley: Technically, you all have a vote so if you simply combine your—

Summer: We'll all have to work super hard to be nice to be competitive!

Lyric: Right!

Panel three: Paisley looks on as all the other sorority girls run off with smiles and grins on their faces as they go out to be nice to whomever. In a window a silhouette of a female can be seen, as the first indication that something supernatural is about to happen.

Summer: I'm going to find a hobo to clean!

Lyric: I'll give out cardboard boxes to the homeless!

Other sorority girl: I'll acknowledge ugly people!

Panel four: Paisley shakes her head as the sky suddenly turns dark around her and RHO house.

Paisley: Ignorance must be bless because I'm the only one with migranes...

Panel five: Paisley looks around and is surprised to see the radius around her and RHO House is darkened while everywhere else looks like the normal happy summer day as before. Paisley reaches out past the darkness and sticks her hand out and wiggles her fingers.

Paisley: ??

Panel six: Paisley is looking up to see that a single huge, ominous black cloud is forming over RHO House. Inside of the cloud, small purple flashes of lightning spark. In the air, a person on a hang glider (the student from the very first panel) tilts his head in confusion at what he is seeing.

Paisley: Weird weather we're having.




Page 12

Panel one: Jess is sitting on a bench just outside of the Dixon Library as she looks around to see various RHO sorority members doing various kind acts. One sorority girl with black hair and a blue blouse is carrying a nerd's book for him as the nerd looks on in a love gaze with his jaw dropped and glasses falling to the tip of his nose. Another member is helping worker paint the library as the worker holds the ladder and looks up lovingly and giving the OK hand signal even though the RHO member is using the wrong color paint and is just making a mess. Another is helping an elderly female college student put on excessive amounts of make up. Almost walking in front of her, is a hunk carrying a RHO member in his arms as she is plucking his nose hairs with tweezers.

Jess: I thought sorority girls were supposed to be mean?

Panel two: Jess looks on with a fangy smile as she looks at the hunk as he winces slightly as the RHO member pulls out a surprisingly long nose hair.

Jess: Hmm. Something yummy this way went.

Panel three: Jess begins to shake her head as she walks inside of the library.

Jess: Keep your pointers to yourself, Jess.

Jess: (Sigh) Guess it's time to say those five horrible words...


Page 13

Panel one: Inside of the library on the second floor, Stewart is playing Bucamon card game (Homage to Pokemon.) with three other college kids. One is wearing a red shirt with a short brown crew cut. Another is chubby with black glasses and curly hair. The last is skinny with blond hair and a sever overbite. All of them look hatefully at Stewart and obviously don't like him. The one with the red shirt is reaching for a pile of money as Stewart folds his arms and crosses his legs as he tries to play losing money on a children's card game as cool as possible.


Caption: "I have to suck Stewart."

Red shirt: Hey! You're forty dollars short!

Stewart: Chillax, bro. I'm good for it.

Chubby guy: No. You're not. You owe me fifty dollars, pee boy.

Panel two: Jess walks up the stairs to the second floor and is surprised to see Stewart with other people.  Stewart is pointing behind him at Jess as he leans back in his chair and tries to show off.

Jess: There you are! I need a quick fix or I'm--

Jess: Huh?

Stewart: See that, boys? The man o' men has the ladies flocking to him like flies to a piece of poop and leaves them speechless.

Panel three: Jess retorts as Stewart falls backwards.

Jess: I was thinking of a stronger term than "poop" to describe you.

Jess: I'm just surprised you have friends. Or other people being around you by choice.

SFX: WHAM

Panel four: The three nerds at the table protest as Jess looks down at the crumpled mass that is Stewart with a grin. Stewart is still lying on his back with his cowboy hat tilted to the left of his head as he gives Jess a weak smile.
   
Overbite nerd: Hey! We're not his friends! He's just an alpaca we fleece!

Jess: Well, well, well.  So what goes around, comes around.

Page 14

Panel one:  Jess is dragging Stewart away by his shirt sleeve as Stewart gives the nerds at the table a double thumbs up as he hops on his left foot as he tries to kick the chair off his right foot. The chubby nerd stands up and bends one his cards to show Stewart what he thinks of him.

Jess: You're coming with me.

Stewart: Sorry, gents. The lady can't get enough of me. I'll be back later.

Chubby guy: Be back with our money, or we do this to you!

Panel two: A close up on the children's section of the library in the basement as Jess and Stewart are in the middle of two shelves filled with various children homage books. Nearby is an old timey computer with dial-up with a window reading: Connection: Dial-up Download: 2% Time Duration: 5y 8M 15D.

Jess between shelves: Mmmm

Stewart: Selling my body to pay off a card game and buy comics. Not a bad life.

Panel three: Jess is sucking on Stewart's neck as she rolls her eyes up at him as Stewart just takes it all like nothing as he is looking opening a King Arthur pop up book as a knight with a long spear pokes him in the eye.

Jess: I'm paying for your blood, not your body—and that includes your lips.

Stewart: I'll throw the lips in for free.

Panel four: Jess suddenly jerks away from Stewart's neck as Stewart puckers his lips.

Jess: Uck! I just lost my appetite.

Panel five: Jess is walking of the library with Stewart as Stewart suddenly percs up at what Jess tells him.

Jess: Everything is weird. All the sorority girls are doing whatever anyone wants. You have a clue what's--

Stewart: REALLY?!

Page 15

Panel one: Stewart has his hands over his mouth as he yells out.

Jess: I didn't mean it exactly like--

Stewart: WHO WANTS TO GIVE YOUR PAL STEWART THE TIME OF HIS LIFE?!

Panel two: All the RHO members and two guys wearing sweaters and scarfs all answer a resounding NO as Stewart folds his arms over his chest and turns away and pouts. Jess tries not to giggle.

RHO members and two guys: NO ONE!!!!

Panel three: A close-up on Jess's Dorm. Flying over head is the college student with the hang glider as he is leading a flying V of ducks.

Jess thought balloon in dorm: Maybe Vera knows. She's a "pledge" after all...

Panel four: Trev is sneaking out of a corner of the hallway as he approaches Jess as Jess hands her right hand on her room's door knob. Trev is on his tippy toes with his arms straight out with his palms pointed downward.

Jess thinking: ...Of course, I'm still in "remedial deciphering what crazy people mean", so lots of luck.

Panel five: Jess is surprised as Trevor wraps his arms around her and feels her muscles.

Trev: Hi, Lamb's spinach. It's Trevie Wevie!


Page 16

Panel one: Jess elbows Trev as it sends him flying all the way through the door of the room on the other side of hers. Trev's body is bent with his arms and legs sticking out with his mouth open and his tongue sticking out to show how much force Jess hit him with.

Jess: Trevor, not now.

SFX: POW

SFX: CRASH

Panel two: Trev is lying in a smiling ,crumbling heap with a heavy crack on the wall behind him as has a goofy grin on his face. On a bed is a female college teen with blood shot eyes and eating brownies in bed. On the wall above his head is a poster of an old fashion clock showing 4:20 and alarming.

Trev: Just when I think I couldn't love her more!!

Panel three: Jess looks back concerned as the door begins to open as a pair of eyes (Vera's) can be seen in the darkness.

Jess: Cripes! I didn't mean to elbow him that hard! I'd better see if....

Panel four: Vera's hand grabs Jess's wrist and pulls her inside.

Vera inside of room: Roomie! Just the prude who needs the new 'tude!!

Jess: Yow!

Page 17

Panel one: Vera is showing Jess a picture as Vera is all smiles and Jess's face turns green, her lips trembles and her eyes are wide in horror.

Vera: I'm doing good to be RHO Good Samaritanina and what greater deed in helping you get your thang on? Even drew visual aides.

Vera: Here's a position I call "The Nasty But Nice!" I think a snowflake like you can handle it, but you might need lubrication.

Panel two: Jess runs out of the room with her face cheeks puffed to show she's become physically ill out of the room as Vera scratches her head as she doesn't understand what Jess's problem is. Inside of the other room, Trevor looks lovingly at Jess as she runs away. Trevor has several small heart with massive flexing biceps over his head.

Vera : You try to liven up a girl's Saturday nights...

Jess: thinking: Stewart's lips, make room in my nightmares for your new best friend!!

Panel three: Vera shrugs her shoulders as she heads over to a window where another dorm can be seen outside.

Vera: Eh. This Fairy Godmother can help elsewhere.

Panel four: Vera is leaning out the window where it almost looks like she's going to fall out the window.

Vera: HEY!! BOYS!! VERA IS COMING TO PUT SOME RELISH ON YOUR CHILI DOGS! HOPE YOU LIKE CHUNKY STYLE!!

Panel five: Several boys are running out of the dorm including one girl with red curly hair.

College boy one: I'm suddenly a vegan!!

College boy two: We all signed a petition for this not to happen again!!

College girl: I'm not taking chances!!

Page 18

Panel one: In one of the park lots of the college, Kelly is holding up the back end of a car as a college student gives her the okay to lower it as he has put on his new tire. The old deflated tire is next to the car.

College boy: Thanks for the help with the tire. Couldn't have done it with my jack busted. How are you--

Kelly: I'm tendon strong!  Just be sure to tell anyone at RHO RHO RHO what Kelly did for you!

Panel two: Jess is walking up to Kelly as Kelly waves goodbye to the college boy as he drives off. Jess has her arms folded as she looks at Kelly as Kelly turns her head and smiles innocently.

Jess: You do know in a world of social media where every phone has a camera, a vampire lifting a car in broad daylight is a bad idea?

Kelly: No good deed goes unpunished. It's the price a future Good Samaritanina bears.

Panel three: Jess rolls her eyes as Kelly defends herself.

Jess: Figures. I knew it had to be something stupid.

Kelly: It's not stupid! With my super strength and endurance I'm going to win good and good! And I'll be remembered! Everyone who sees my picture will go, "That's Kelly!"

Panel four: Kelly defends herself as Jess looks sternly at her.

Kelly: I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm doing right. Lot's of right.

Kelly: Tell me one thing that's wrong with what I'm doing.

Panel five: Jess is calmly responding as she is walking away as Kelly yells at her.

Jess: I just believe you shouldn't do good deeds expecting anything in return.

Kelly: Yeah!? Well—well...why don't you tell that to soldiers receiving purple hearts!?!

Jess: Nice. You should try for sainthood next.

Panel six: Kelly folds her arms and pouts as Jess's words deeply affect her as she struggles continue her stance. Kelly shifts her eyes to her right. To her left, in the background, the hang glider kid has crashed in the parking lot.

Kelly: Don't see what the problem is...

Kelly: If not me, then who deserves to be remembered...right...?



Page 19

Panel one: It is turning dark out as Kelly is walking into the living quarters of RHO house as she waves her hand to get everyone's attention. She is beginning to pull out a paper from her pocket.

Kelly: Everyone here? Super! Okay, I know I said to the end of the week, but I just thought we'd end the contest early and I'd like you all to...

Panel two: Kelly looks around. As she talks, her air can be seen in the air to show that the temperature has dropped signicantly. Kelly is shivering as she pulls her arms close to her sides.

Kelly: ...Turn the thermostat up. It's frigid in here.

Lyric: Um, we can't.

Kelly: Why not?

Panel three: Over the shoulders of Kelly as she looks to see Summer, Lyric, Paisley, and several other members of RHO house floating in the air along with various furniture zipping through the air. In the middle of the chaos is a blue orb with a female face in it that none of the other girls save Kelly acknowledge. A loveseat is being launched directly at Kelly. Heavy winds are swirling around the room and kicking up Kelly's hair.

Lyric: Something came up.

Summer: Us!!

Kelly: eeper jeepers.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Quote from: daren on June 30, 2016, 05:01:31 AM
Hey you should do another one PTF, that was awesome!

Another one? It's a three part story...with commercials.

And thanks.

BIG BAD BROTHER.


Panel one: A late teenage big brother (about three years older than his kid brother) has his little brother face first on the ground and in the mud and is using his foot to keep his face in a puddle of water while posing like he's a rock star. The kid brother is thrashing his legs and arms vainly.


Caption: Are you a big brother and do you know how to teach your younger sibling respect and want to show the world?

Panel two: A shot of several other teens around the first teen's age (six or seven will do) as they are all in front of a house on a set as they are elbowing each other, skidding the back of each other's shoes and just being obnoxious to each other.

Caption: Then register for the new season of BIG BAD BROTHER.

Panel three: Inside of the living quarters as two big bad brothers are having a tug of war contest with a little brother dummy. Two others are behind two game show booths as another big brother is holding a card and reading it. One teen's booth is lit up reading: KIDNEY PUNCH. The other is lit up reading: KILL THEIR IMAGINARY FRIEND.

Caption: Various physical and mental contests to see who here is the best big bad brother ever of this season!

Panel four: Suddenly eels, various weights, and piranhas are dropping from the ceiling as the big bad brothers begin to scramble. One big bad brother is being shocked to the point of his skeleton being seen and another (the very first big bad brother) has his head crushed into his sternum. Another has his thumb being bitten by a piranha. Other big brothers are running around scared out of their minds.

Caption: And a twist that you won't see coming!


Panel five: In a secret booth with a computer control panel in front of them, the younger brothers are controlling everything that is going on as they watch their big brother tormenters being tormented as they all nod and smile. The leader is the little brother from the first panel, wearing a mud and dirt covered shirt, as he is turning a knob. On a screen we can see the Big Bad Brother house on fire.

Caption: Sign up for the live stream and never miss a single moment of people laying about, drinking, and napping all day all summer long!






FUSS SODA

Panel one: Two small children, a bother and a sister, are sadly at the kitchen table, as they are making cool-aide in a giant pitcher. The little sister is dejectedly pouring in an entire pink of sugar to try and make the pink cool-aide good.

Brother: Water is lame and putting in this stupid dust isn't much better.

Sister: And I can't get enough sugar in it! I sure wish we had some Fuss Soda.

Panel two: Mr. Pep,  a giant living purple and blue can of soda, is bursting through a wall of the kitchen as he is holding a twelve pack case of can Pep soda and eight pack bottled soda in his other. He has black dots for eyes and a curved line for a smile as he talks to the kids.

SFX: SCRRMMM

Mr. Fuss: Someone say FUSS SODA?!!

Siblings: Wow! Mr. Fuss!

Panel three: Mr. Pep is throwing a bottle of soda to the girl and a soda can to the boy as he is shooting a laser out of his eyes at the cool-aide and evaporating it.

Mr. Fuss: You kids need something refreshing.

Mr. Fuss: Have some Fuss soda! It's tasty explosion straight from the can, down the throat, in the stomach and away we go!

Panel four: Set in the living room. The kids are now hyper as the boy is racing a small race car around the house while the sister is running up and down a nearby wall as the parents look on dismayed. Mr. Fuss is looking on while doing the cabbage patch.

Mr. Fuss: 256 grams of pure sugar in each citrus sip! Never get tired! Never run down! You'll have energy to burn and your pee will be blue!!

Panel five: Mr. Fuss is bursting through the living room wall as he runs down a suburban street. In the background, back inside of the house through the Mr. Pep shaped hole, the parents are using tranquilzer guns to try and stop their children.

Mr. Fuss: Fuss Soda! Quench the thirst, feed the beast, diabetes is a problem for another day!!

Caption: And try our new energy drink HUMANGASOUR. Roar like a flippin' dinosaur!!




POND MEADOW

Panel one: An Archie Andrews expy is pressing a gun at the temple of a Jughead Jones expy as he points at a freckle on his face to illustrate his point. Lunchbox Johns is wearing a sweater with the letter V on it and wearing a derby hat with various feathers attached to the brim. Artie Adams has blond hair with a checker pattern in them and wearing a black vest over a white shirt with the letters PM on it.


Caption: Pond Meadow is a town with a dark secret.

Artie Adams: You see these dots on my face?! They're not freckles—THEY'RE DEATH SPOTS, YOU @$%^!!

Artie Adams: Now tell me why where she is, Lunchbox Johns!!

Panel two: An expy of Betty Cooper has a Veronica Lodge tied to a table and has her head in a vice press and she cranks it even more as Victoria Hodge's head begins to cave in. Patty Keeper has orange hair and her hair in pig tails. Victoria Hodge has long blond hair.

Patty Keeper: He loves me!! He always loved me!! NEVER YOU!

Patty Keeper: Never again.

Caption: Teens are crazy.

Panel three: An expy of Ms. Grundy has a knife at the throat of an expy of Mr. Weatherbee and is preparing to kill him. The setting is the principal's office as the principal has a folder on his desk reading: BLACKMAIL. These are the expies that look the least like the originals as they are not old, ugly, or fat and look more like super models.

Caption: The adults are worse.

Ms. Hundy: No one will know I used to strip at the pickle factory now.

Panel four: A shot a traditionally drawn 1960s style Archie panel as the characters are drawn in their original, family friendly selves. Artie is sharing a banana split with Patty and Victoria while a Lunchbox Johns is eating a steak with his bare hands. Ms. Hundy and Mr. Rainywasp shrug their shoulders at the teens.

Caption: Based on the family friendly, long standing series of Artie Comics that you grew up reading.

Panel five: Back to the TV show as Artie and Ms. Grundy are making out in detention hall. Looking through the doorway is a crazed Patty who has the battered severed head of Victoria Hodge held by her hair. Patty has a deranged, broken smile as she looks on.

Caption: Pond Meadow. This is not the funny pages.




BUCAMON

Panel one: A ten year old kid wearing jeans, a blue and white jacket over a green shirt and a blue cap is carrying a small red cute turtle monster in a bucket as he happily skips along. The Turire (turtle + fire) happily spits out a small speck of fire to show off its power. The setting is a forest area with various different cute monsters (butterflies, caterpillars, months, bats) peering out of tall grass, trees and bushes.

Caption: It all began 20 years ago with the story of a ten year old and his fire breathing pet monster out to capture all the bucamons.

Panel two: The kid is having his Turire beating a grass type cute dinosaur monster to a pulp as the kid begins to scoop what is left of it in to the bucket.

Caption: Which can only be done by turning a friendly creature into a thug to use to cripple and enslave others of its kind.

Panel three: The Turire has evolved into a giant Godzilla like monster around ten feet tall as it lets out atomic fire breath at a gang of bucmon thiefs modeled after Team Rocket (Jessie and James) The surrounding town is on fire as Officer Francine is crying as a school burns. The kid has a slasher smile on his face.

Caption: Evolve your bucamon into a murderous rampaging monster to strike fear in your enemies and the general populace to gain money and immediate respect.

Panel four: The kids is holding up a DVD of the Bucamon show, a card trade pack, and a manga issue. Behind him, his Turire is stomping after a cute monster that's just a puffy pink ball.

Caption: The hit sensation that is not only the top video game—but also a 12, 000 episode and going anime, a manga, and a card game.


Panel five: The kid is struggling now as his evolved Turire is inside the bucket which is pure darkness save for burning piercing eyes. The bucket is dragging on the ground as the kid struggles with both hands. Over head in the sky is a white wormhole and a purple vortex that is reeking havoc on the environment. In the distance is the town as it burns. On the dirt road is the charred skeletons of the Bucamon thieves.


Kid: Buy and collect everything...or we will come for you.

Caption: And coming soon Bucamon wormhole and Bucamon Vortex. Each with a single monster the other game doesn't have.

Doing something a little different for fun...and two of my documents are not working and I have to redo them and I don't want to go insane from rage.

Super Suckers is written by Darin Henry and drawn by acclaimed Archie artist Jeff Shultz. It's really good and I've written up reviews on the issues. So you should really check it out. The issues are super cheap and much better written. And drawn and colored and edited and...

http://sitcomics.net/

So go the site and check it out. Other titles are available as well.

Anyway....




Super Suckers: The Ha-Ha-Haunting of RHO RHO RHO House


Page 1:


Caption: Drawn in front of a live studio audience.

Panel one: The setting is the Dixon College Café. Jess and Kelly are sitting at a nearby table with Jess looking over her Shakespeare text book as she is sipping from a 16.9 oz bottle of blood. Kelly is on the other side as she is in fang mode as she looks over at a nearby football player (in full gear minus the helmet) talking with a cheerleader as he drinks a bottle of Fuss Soda  At another table an overweight teen is eating a giant burger as the patty, tomato, pickles, and ketchup all slip out of the bun onto his table, splattering his shirt. At another table, two female college students are holding hands as they share a soda. Walking past the girls is a male college student reading a book titled Hang Gliding 101

Up front of the café is a bar and grill where a cook is flipping over patties with ease as several people wait for their burger be put together. At the salad bar a college student is sneezing past the guard as everyone in the line takes a step back and pulls their plates or bowls back as they now change their minds.


Jess: So, A Shakespeare tragedy is starts with the cast together and splintering off...

Jess: ...And a Shakespeare comedy is the cast apart and brought together. Understand, Kelly?

Kelly: Yeah, Jess—it's sad that my fangs are not in that mountain of beef's neck, and I'll be laughing when they are.

Panel two: Jess shoves the bottle of blood in front of Kelly's face as Kelly snaps out of her blood lust.

Jess: Here, you're not yourself when you're bloodlusty. Have some Stewartade.

Panel three: Kelly begins to drink several gulps of the bottle of blood as tilts her head back.

Kelly: Cover the fangs, down my tummy; keeps me from eating someone hunky and yummy.

Panel four: Jess smiles in amusement as Kelly puts the bottle to the side of their table.

Jess: Better?

Kelly: Yepper doddle-doo.

Jess: Bring yourself back to normal by guzzling a cold shower.

Page 2

Panel one: Jess and Kelly eavesdrop as the quarterback is talking to two offensive linemen (also in football gear) walking up to congratulate him. The QB reaches back and puts his Fuss energy drink bottle next to the bottle of blood.

O-line guy one: Hey, Zack Attack! Coach just named you captain!

Panel two: Zack pumps his fist as he is excited as the cheerleader gives him a kiss on the cheek. The second O-line guy motions for Zack to follow them. Behind them, Jess rolls her eyes as she couldn't care less, but Kelly listens intently.

Zack: Alright, babe! Now I know for sure my sorority brothers will elect me King!

Second O-line guy: C'mon, brah. Let's put your picture on the Wall of Honor and save some time!

Panel three: The QB follows after the o-line guys and the cheerleader as he reaches back and grabs the bottle of blood instead of the energy drink as Jess looks on wide eyed. Kelly is sad as she looks away with her left elbow on the table and her left face cheek in her open palm.

Zack: Ch'yeah! I'll be immortalized!

Kelly: (Sigh) It must be nice to be immortalized.


Panel four: Jess turns to talk to Kelly as Kelly raises her head up to talk with Jess. Just at the end of the panel as spray of blood can be seen as a disgusted teen wearing glasses and a flack jacket looks on with his tongue sticking out in disgust. Jess sarcastically replies.

Kelly: I mean what have we done here in Dixon College that matters?

Jess: Yeah. Improving our academics and receiving degrees to help insure financial benefits in a setting that promotes social skills and free thinking is not what college is about.


Panel five: Kelly waves her arms as she obviously did not get that Jess was being sarcastic as Jess gives the reader an aside glance.

Kelly: Exactly!

Page 3

Panel one: Jess and Kelly are walking away from their table as Jess has her Shakespeare text book under her arm. A guy not paying attention while using a selfie stick is slipping in the leftover pool of blood caused by the QB spitting it out.

Jess: Look, I know I'm not the most social sort--

Kelly: Yeah! No kiddin'!

Panel two: Jess turns her head and glares at Kelly as Kelly realizes she spoke without thinking.

Panel three: Kelly, has her eyes closed, smiles with her two index fingers over where her fangs should be on her mouth, and looks just adorable as Jess rolls her eyes and smirks as she is amused by Kelly's adorable expression.

Kelly: BVFF. Best Vampire Friends Forever.

Panel four: Jess and Kelly are walking outside of the café and onto the campus. An elderly campus cop on a golf cart is driving recklessly as he adjusts his thick glasses as several college students and a professor jump out of the way.

Jess: What I was getting at is that I'm pretty sure every frat or sorority has some sort of bronzed keg or plastic tiara they give out.

Panel five: Jess looks on as Kelly runs down the sidewalk as she is overjoyed and pumping her fist in the air..

Kelly: You're right, Jess!

Kelly: And I'm going to win it!

Page 4

Panel one: Kelly is opening the door to the RHO RHO RHO Sorority House as she has a determined look on her face. Kelly is slamming the door open with one hand to show how she's not going to hold back in her quest.

SFX: SLAM

Kelly: I'm not going to rest until I find what I'm searching for!

Kelly: I'll dig through the archives, scale the highest peaks, look between the cushions of the couch...

Panel two: Kelly takes a step inside to see a glass display showing various pictures of various girls throughout the year with the last one ending in 1996. Above the glass display is a banner reading: GOOD SAMARITANINA.

Kelly: ...Or I'll just turn my head slightly to the left.

Panel three: Kelly is looking over the glass display as she sees all the different pictures of girls from all the years as each have their own different hair styles and clothing pertaining to the year. The most important one is the girl from 1996 who is has brown hair, beady eyes, a smirk across her face, and is wearing a multi-colored blouse (Basically an evil Kelly from Saved by the Bell)

Kelly: "GOOD SAMARITANINA". This must be what I'm looking for.

Kelly: But what is it and why did it stop twenty years ago?

Panel four: Summer, Lyric, and Paisley are walking up to Kelly as Kelly stares at the glass case curiously. Summer and Lyric are super excited like normal while Paisley is deadpan as usual.

Summer: Kels-Bels, what are you looking at?

Lyric: What are you doing by the award case?

Paisley: The answer is the other's question.

Page 5

Panel one: Kelly is talking with the trio as Lyric points to Paisley as Paisley gives her a death glare.

Kelly: Just looking at this award case. You gals wouldn't happen to know what the Good Samaritanina is, would you?

Lyric: Paisley's pretty boring, so I bet she knows.

Paisley: I do know, but not because of that reason.

Panel two: Paisley is explaining what the Queen of RHO is.

Paisley: To put it simply, the Good Samaritanina was a created to help prove RHO RHO RHO was not just where girls partied and were idiots.

Paisley: The winner was voted on by who did the most charitable work and community projects throughout the year. And for all of her hard work, she just got a picture in a glass display.

Panel three: Kelly's happy reflection can be seen reflected in the glass display as she happily thinks about winning the award.

Kelly: So it's an award and the winner is remembered forever.

Paisley: You never heard of it until I just explained it to you.

Panel four: Lyric and Summer suddenly become alarmed as Kelly and Paisley continue to talk as Paisley shrugs her right shoulder.

Kelly: Well, I'd have remembered if they hadn't stopped.

Kelly: Um, why did they?

Paisley: That I don't know.

Summer: Wait I heard about this--!

Panel five: Summer and Lyric huddle together as they shake and their knees buckle. Paisley face palms at the notion of the supernatural being real while Kelly whistles innocently and rolls her eyes away from Paisley.

Summer: It's because of the ghost of Fran Wright!

Paisley: (Sigh) There is no such thing as ghosts or anything else supernatural.

Page 6

Panel one: Kelly and Lyric are listening as Summer tells her story. Paisley folds her arms and is ignored by the other girls yet again.

Summer: It began twenty years ago and every day was dark and every night stormy!

Paisley: That is astronomically and meteorologically impossible.

Panel two: Flash back panel of Fran Wright (Who has long big black hair and is wearing ringer tee with (blue with red on the ribbing at the sleeves and collar) and black knock off track pants as she helping collect can food at a food drive. Nearby is a kitten brushing up against a green recycling bin.

Caption: Fran Wright was this super nice pledge to RHO house who saved kittens from trees, organized food drives, and recycled because back then TV preached that all the time.

Panel three: Flash back panel as several other 90s dressed sorority members are gathered round her and thanking her. Two girls have old fashion game boys and have them connected by a USB cord. One girl is wearing a red shirt with a green cute lizard on it while the other is wearing a green shirt with a red cute turtle on it (Pokemon reference) On the wall is a poster of Shawn Michaels and the movie Fargo. In the background glaring at her, is the girl from the glass display, Emma Dotson.

Caption: Everyone loved her and she was a shoo-in to win...

Caption: ...Well, save for charter leader Emma Dotson, who swore to win by any means necessary. And she schemed up a devious plan to rid her of her rival.

Panel four: Flash back panel as Emma Dotson is pushing Fran Wright off the roof of the sorority house.

Caption: She told her a kid lost his kite on the roof and pushed her off.

Fran Wright: You'll pay for this! You and every RHO member as long as the Good Samaritanina exists!

Emma Dotson: Ch'yeah. Like, when and how, Little Miss Victim of Gravity Loser?

Panel five: Still a flashback only inside of the living quarters of RHO house as all heck has broken loose. Emma Dotson has her head rammed through the ceiling. A whirlwind spitting out hail is attacking various members. One member is flying through the air doing loops. Windows and doors are banging shut to show that Fran Wright's vengeful ghost is extracting her revenge.

Caption: Then bad stuff happened the next day.

Page 7

Panel one: Summer is finishing the story as Kelly and Lyric both have worried faces. Paisley is looking out a window where we can see sunshine and a bright blue sky despite the thunder sound affect. Paisley is the only one who pays the thunder coming from no where any attention.

Summer: ...And they decided to drop the whole Good Sammie contest before they dropped dead.

SFX: BAADOOOM

Paisley: Thunder--?

Panel two: Kelly is thinking as she has her index finger at her chin and has her tongue sticking out on her right cheek.

Kelly thinking: Okay, I need to process this information and think things through before I act.

Panel three: Kelly looks anxiously at the empty space near Emma Dotson's picture and imagines her photo there with her dressed like Cinderella with her picture being three times larger than the rest and having a jewel embedded golden frame.

Panel four: Kelly is enthusiastic as she makes a declaration to the girls. Summer and Lyric are instantly happy as Paisley looks on in disbelief.

Kelly: Spread the news, girls! The Good Samaritanina is back! Starting now and ending at the end of the week!

Summer: What a great idea!

Lyric: You're the best, pres!

Paisley: ...You two were scared out of your wits just two seconds ago.

Page 8

Panel one: Lyric and Summer are running out of RHO house as Paisley follows behind. Paisley has her smartphone out as she is sending a text to the RHO twitter account while the other two run out like lunatics. Paisley smiles at the girls entertained by their fruitless, optimistic attitudes.

Summer: I'll tell everyone on the left side of campus!

Lyric: And I'll take care of the right!

Paisley: They do their best.

Panel two: Kelly is overjoyed as she pumps her fists in the air and jumps high enough to nearly hit the ceiling.

Kelly: Hah! This is great! All I need to do is win, and I'll be remembered in the halls of RHO RHO RHO forever and ever and ever...and ever!

Panel three: In the background, Kelly is walking away from the display as she sniffs the air as she picks up an aroma. In the foreground, the display case is suddenly filling up with blood with the image of a skull in lighter red being seen in the middle of the pool of plasma.

Kelly: Sniff Sniff.

Kelly: Umm. Where's that wonderful scent coming from...?

Caption: And now for a few brief messages from our sponsors!

Based on a story where I had to bust wood for my cousin at some hateful guy's house with a stupid wood splitter eight feet off the ground and I had to lift sixty to seventy pound bit of wood. With no help.

Actually, my cousin was a hindrance because the dope started to collect fallen wood...while I was splitting and the wood was falling. And I had to use my leg to block wood falling on his dumb-dumb head.

And then I after his wood--I learned the angry hateful guy was going to get his wood busted.

...

I don't like this story anymore. Bringing back bad memories.

Yeah. I like stuff going on in the background. It's always fun looking back to see what's going on.

Page 1.

Panel one: Jughead is in his room as he is lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling as he has tried to fall asleep but can't. Scattered along his bed are various Mega Man and Sonic The Hedgehog comics.

Jughead: Sigh. I guess after eighteen hours, I just can't squeeze out a two hour nap.

Panel two: Jughead looks over the left side of his bed where we see several empty dishes with various food stains and a few chicken bones on the ground. Jughead pats his stomach complacently.

Jughead: And I've reached my quota of food for the next few hours.

Panel three: Jughead jumps out of bed as he slips on his shoes. Out a window, we can see a bird carrying a carrot wrapped in a note.

Jughead: As much as I don't like moving and having to be active...

Jughead: I hate being absolutely bored even more.

Page 2.

Panel one: Jughead is entering is in the living room as no one else is around.

Jughead: Where is everyone?

Panel two: Jughead snaps his fingers as he remembers.

Jughead: Oh yeah!

Jughead:  Mom and Pops took Jellybean to see great aunt Lenore today! They'll be gone for the rest of the afternoon.

Panel three: Jughead is sitting on the sofa as he is unimpressed by the TV shows he is clicking to.

TV: Now to follow the adventures of The Rabbit Man of Ken-

CLICK

TV: Hey, actors who can't find work acting doing things that other people do—

CLICK

TV: Follow the life of a kid who just eats, sleeps, and mooches off of friends in—

Panel four: Jughead drops the remote over his shoulder as it lands on the sofa as Jughead begins to walk towards a window.

Jughead: I'd rather read a book than watch a TV show like that!

Panel five: Jughead looks out the window to see Hot Dog's empty dog house. Coming out of a rabbit hole nearby is a battalion of bunnies wearing camouflage face paint crawling across the yard like they were going under a barbwire fence. One rabbit is wearing a military helmet with a carrot sticker on it as he motions for his bunny battalion to continue. A bunny wearing a surgeon's mask sticks its head out of the hole and motions at his wrist to tell them they have to hurry with whatever they are planning to do. The bird from earlier is preparing to pick up the surgeon bunny.

Jughead: Rats. Looks like Hot Dog's already went out with his wagging tailed friends.

Panel six: Jughead leaves his house as he walks down his drive way. Behind Jughead, Sgt. Carrot is motioning for his bunny battalion to move out as they begin to hop in a single file line and salute.

Jughead: That's actually not a bad idea to hang out with friends when you're bored. Especially when hijinks galore happen with you best bud.

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead is knocking on the door of the Andrews' house as he straightens his hat and prepares for whatever misadventure is to come. Behind Jughead one of the bunny's has a pair of binoculars as he is scoping the area.

Jughead: I wonder what misadventure Archie has today: accidentally super gluing his socks to his shoes, saving Mr. Lodge from kidnappers, needing saving from Ronnie...

Panel two: Mrs. Andrews opens the door and greets Jughead.

Mrs. Andrews: Oh, good afternoon, Jughead.

Jughead: Mrs. A. One of few females who makes me pause and thinks that the entire guy-girl relationship might have merits.

Panel three: Jughead looks over Mrs. Andrews shoulder as he peeks to see if Archie has gotten himself into any trouble. Mrs. Andrews is blushing from Jughead's compliment.

Mrs. Andrews. And for a girl-hater per excel lance, you can say the sweetest things.

Jughead: Momentary lapses in better judgment.

Jughead: Say, what's our boy Archie gotten himself into for today?

Panel four: Mrs. Andrews points at the empty car space in the drive way as Jughead looks on. The rest of the bunny battalion are peeking their heads out from inside the car garage.

Mrs. Andrews: Oh, him and his father went fishing a few hours ago.

Panel four: Jughead puts his hands in his pockets as he sadly walks away as Mrs. Andrews closes the door. Behind Jughead, the bunny with binoculars is looking upwards as a grappling line is coming out of nowhere and going nowhere off panel as Sgt. Carrot and the rest of the Bunny Battalion zip off-panel.

Jughead: Sigh. A guy can't wait over half the day for a friend to wake up before he decides to head off with a loved one...?

Jughead: Guess I gotta go a bit further if I'm going to find any excitement for the day.

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead looks over at Betty's house as he cheers up. Sgt. Carrot is talking with Betty's cat Carmel. Sgt. Bunny is sticking out his leg and pointing at it as Carmel tilts her head in confusion. Behind Sgt. Carrot the rest of the Bunny Battalion are hard at work. Several bunnies are weaving a small basket and another tired rabbit is trying to blow up a small hot air balloon all by himself.

Jughead: Wait, that doesn't sound like me and I don't have to go far when Betty lives right next door.

Panel two: Jughead is at the Betty Cooper house as Mr. Cooper answers.

Jughead: Hello, Mr. Cooper. I thought maybe I could see Betty.

Panel three: Mr. Cooper stares at Jughead in surprise.

Jughead: ?

Panel four: Jughead waves off Mr. Cooper's thought process as Mr. Cooper lets out a sigh of relief.

Jughead: Oh. Don't worry, I don't want to ask her out, I'm just bored and wanted to talk with someone.

Mr. Cooper: Wheew. What a relief...!!

Panel five: Mr. Cooper explains that Betty isn't home as Jughead begins to inquire why Betty didn't tell him about her day.

Mr. Cooper: Well, I'm sorry, but Betty and Veronica just finished their cake for the county bake contest in Greendale and won't be bake for hours.

Jughead: Wait, Betty was entering a cooking contest and didn't tell me about it?

Panel six: Mr. Cooper talks with Jughead as Jughead sadly waves goodbye. Behind Jughead, one of the bunny's somehow gets his foot tangled in a rope for a small hot air balloon as the rest of the bunny battalion try to keep him from floating away as they clutch at his ears. Sgt. Carrot face palms at the sight of his troops.

Mr. Cooper: Wouldn't you have just eaten it?

Jughead: Sigh, yeah....and wacky shenanigans would have followed.

Page 4.

Panel one: Jughead is walking along a suburban street as it seems like it's only him out. In a small hot air balloon floating just behind Jughead, Sgt Carrot is pointing ahead of Jughead and is rubbing two carrots together to signal his rabbit soldiers.

Jughead: Archie's not around, Betty's gone...and she took Ronnie with her so I don't even have an excuse to even go to the Lodges now...

Panel two: Jughead looks over to see Jinx Malloy who is happily skipping along as he is wearing a necklace under his shirt. For once no calamities are happening around him. In the bushes behind Jinx, several small eyes and long rabbit ears are peering at him. Sgt. Carrot has dropped a rope as he is climbing down the hot air balloon.

Jughead: Say, Jinx Malloy! He just walks around and misadventures happen!

Panel three: Jughead runs up to Jinx as he has his arms over his head, his body bent down and looking over his right shoulder to see if a plane or something else is going to fall out of the sky.

Jinx: Hey, Jughead!

Jughead: Hello, Jinx. Say, don't mean to pry, but I've noticed that you're taking an afternoon stroll and Riverdale is still standing...

Panel four: Jinx proudly pulls out his lucky rabbit foot as Jughead raises an eyebrow in disbelief. Behind Jinx, Sgt.Carrot is glaring at him as the rest of the bunny battalion begins to hop out of the bushes to stand behind Sgt. Carrot.

Jinx: I know! I just bought this lucky rabbit's foot and not one bad thing has happened!!

Panel five: Jughead begins to question Jinx as Jinx begins to twirl the rabbit's foot around.

Jughead: So no accidents, mishaps, perils, bad ju-ju, calamities, mishaps, hoodoos, or slight armageddons?

Jinx: Not a trial or error for me today!

Panel six: Jughead forlornly walks away as Jinx turns around in fright to see Sgt. Carrot motioning with his knee and leg that's he's going to break something. The rest of the bunny battalion is beginning to leap at Jinx.

Jughead: Well, I guess bad things can't happen to a guy all the time.

Jinx: !!!!

Page 5.

Panel one: Jughead is knocking on the Mantle house as the door way has a banner reading: HOME OF THE MANTLES!! On the doorway is a picture of the entire family striking a pose. In the air, Sgt. Carrot and the Bunny Battalion are riding birds. Sgt. Carrot has the rabbit's foot as he motions onward. One rabbit has fallen from his bird and is clinging to the legs of the bird for dear life.

Jughead: Wow, I bet Reggie's house annoys condominiums.

Panel two: Reggie, with a dopey smile, red nose, and glazed eyes, opens the door and greets Jughead.

Reggie: Jughead! My good sweet charming friend! 

Jughead: Well, you got my name right.

Panel three: Reggie reaches out and hugs Jughead as Jughead's eyes grow wide in shock.

Reggie: Friends!? Hah! You and me are like brothers!!

Jughead: I'm adopted and running away from home!!

Panel four: Mrs. Mantle reaches over to pull Reggie off of Jughead as Jughead begins to wipe his shirt off. Reggie is still smiling like a dope all the while.

Mrs. Mantle: I'm sorry, Jughead. Reggie had a cold today and his medicine...has side effects.

Panel five: Jughead begins to walk away from the Mantle home as Mrs. Mantle begins to drag Reggie back inside as he waves goodbye to Jughead. Jughead looks over his shoulder disappointed.

Jughead: Here I was hoping to trade a few barbs...but a nice Reggie Mantle is even more boring than how I feel today!!

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is on his cellphone as he is calling Ethel. Along the sidewalk, unnoticed by Jughead, the bunny surgeon is carrying a ball of string with a needle stuck in it as he hops along. Unnoticed to him, a large dog is coming at him.

Jughead: Well, I guess a date with Ethel isn't the worst thing I can do to pass the afternoon. Spontaneous combustion would be unpleasant...

Panel two: Jughead is talking on the phone to Ethel. Sgt. Carrot and his bird ride knock the dog away from the surgeon bunny as the surgeon bunny salutes Sgt. Carrot.

Jughead: Yeah, Ethel. How about a date with—

Jughead: Could you speak up, your voice sounds like a stuffed up attic.

Panel three: Jughead takes his cellphone away from his ear as he winces because of the yelling Ethel is giving him.

Cellphone: I SAID I WOULDN'T DATE A RAT LIKE YOU EVER EVER EVER!!!

Panel four: Cut to the Muggs living room as a place has been made for the sick Ethel who is blowing her nose as she is on a tantrum as her father tries to stop her from smashing a lamp. Mrs. Muggs is looking over her shoulder in fright as she explains things to Jughead.

Mrs. Muggs: I'm sorry, Jughead. Ethel came down with a summer cold and took some medicine... .

Ethel: I despise Jughead Jones! I'll bash his face! Mash his bones! Lemme at 'em!!!

Mrs. Muggs: ...And there are side effects.

Panel five: Jughead closes up his cellphone as he shrugs his shoulders. High in the air, the Bunny Battalion are using the birds to lift the dog high into the air. The bunny surgeon is hopping away with the ball of string.

Jughead: I don't know what's worse, the sickness or the cure.

Page 7.

Panel one: Jughead is wearing a tank top, yellow and black stripped shorts, and sandals as he enters Riverdale Beach.

Jughead: Maybe a change of setting will put some action in this story.

Panel two: Jughead looks over at an ice cream vendor who has a line of teenage boy and girl couples happily buying ice cream. In the background, Jinx Malloy, wearing swim trunks and on crutches with a broke leg, is walking along causing someone carrying a surfboard over his shoulder to hit someone accidentally with the surfboard, causing that person to accidentally kick a small yellow sand bucket away from children making a sand castle, and the bucket is heading for several burly, scary looking beach bullies.

Jughead: Hm. Couples are getting along and even actually accompanying their boyfriends so no complaints about melted ice cream can be heard...

Panel three: Jughead looks over at a bunch of burly muscular guys helping a small girl build a sand castle as several other kids cheer them on. One of the bullies has a large bump on his head as he smiles dopily.

Jughead: The local beach bullies are quite docile today...

Panel four: Jughead is looking on as a teenage boy is putting  suntan lotion on a teenage girl will another teenage boy talks with him. At his feet someone is buried in sand and has a straw sticking out of the sand as his only means of breathing.

Boyfriend: Excuse me, that's my girlfriend you're putting oil on.

Other teen: Of course. She just asked for me to put lotion on her back.

Panel five: Jughead walks away as he rolls his eyes as the boyfriend and girlfriend wave goodbye to the other guy.

Boyfriend: Oh. That's okay. I wouldn't want to risk her getting sun burn.

Girlfriend: Thank you for your help.

Jughead: Life's never fun when understanding reigns over the land.

Page 8.

Panel one: Jughead looks over and spies Trula Twyst lying on a beach towel as she is reading a psychology book titled: Food & Mind. Jughead actually looks happy to see her.

Jughead: Trula Twyst?!

Jughead: Perfect, I can do battle with my archnemesis!

Panel two: Jughead opens up his arms and prepares for a salvo as Trula Twyst looks up from her reading.

Panel three: Trula Twyst goes back to her reading as Jughead's arms drop and he glares down at her.

Jughead: Hey, what's wrong with you?! Where's the mind games?

Trula: It's a bye week.

Jughead: Pardon?

Panel four: Jughead glares down as Trula sits up.

Trula: Juggers, your mind is very complicated and requires strenuous study, so not to burn myself out on the project, I'm taking a day or two off.

Panel five: Jughead walks away in revulsion as Trula smiles as she calls out to Jughead.

Jughead: I hope they take away your villain membership after they hear reports of your languor!!

Trula: Don't be like that, Juggers!!

Jughead: I want to do something and you don't! Typical female behavior!!

Page 9

Panel one: Jughead is leaving the beach as he begins to yawn.

Jughead: YAAAWWWN

Jughead: All this trying to find something interesting on this boring day has made me sleepy...

Panel two: Time has passed as Jughead's parents and Jellybean arrive home. Mr. Jones is opening the door and calling for Jughead. Mrs. Jones is holding Jellybean who has various kiss lipstick marks on her face and head. One is just over her eyes as she keeps it closed. Hopping behind the Jones Family is a happy bunny with a newly returned stitched up leg.

Mr. Jones: Jughead! Are you up yet?!

Panel three: Mr. Jones looks downward.

Mr. Jones: Typical.

Panel four: Jughead is taking a nap on the couch as Mr. and Mrs. Jones look on disapprovingly. Jellybean is crawling on Jughead's stomach to his face as he happily snores.

Mr. Jones: I can't believe he's spent the entire day sleeping.

Mrs. Jones: I know. How can you find any excitement in life if you don't get outside and mingle about?

Jughead: ZZZZZZZZ

THE END.

 Page 1

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is dragging Archie along a street near several diners with various tables and seats outside. One person is complaining to a waiter about a fly in his soup.

Mr. Andrews: Archie! Archie! Hurry up or we'll miss him!!

Archie: I'll be missing an arm if you keep pulling!!

Panel two: Archie is walking behind his dad as his dad is looking through the outside tables in one of the street diners. Archie is rubbing his shoulder and moving his arm across his chest as he tries to regain feeling in it. Mr. Andrews is as giddy as a school kid at a new toy as several diners look at him like he's nuts. The waiter is holding up a spider-web as a spider is descending into the soup.

Archie: Who are we looking for, dad?

Mr. Andrews: My co-worker at the office called me and told me that my favorite western star growing up was visiting Riverdale!!

Panel three: Mr. Andrews pointing ahead.

Mr. Andrews: There!

Panel four: We look to see a man who looks like Clint Eastwood as he is glaring at an empty chair. Flint Northwood is wearing a dirty white cowboy hat, an old brown trench coat and cowboy boots as he is drinking a root beer float. The table next to him has two empty seats. Flint's table has four chairs: One next to Flint, the other next to the empty chair. On the table in front of the empty chair, is cup full of water with a straw facing the chair. Every time Flint talks his teeth are clenched.

Mr. Andrews: Bimbo, Surly, The Pale Horse Rider, Howdy Bates, and the Man Known By No Name—

Mr. Andrews: FLINT NORTHWOOD!!!

Page 2:

Panel one: Archie is scratching his head as he doesn't see what's so great about Flint Northwood as Mr. Andrews ignores him and rushes over to see Flint Northwood. As he runs, he bumps into a waiter carrying pitcher of water on a tray as it begins to fall on a man. Flint has his cowboy hat over his eyes.

Archie: The guy in that movie about the old car?

Mr. Andrews: He's more than just that! He's rode horses!!

Panel two: Mr. Andrews is standing next to Flint Northwood as Flint doesn't acknowledge him as he takes a sip of his root beer. Mr. Andrews is trying to hold his excitement, but failing. Archie is following after his dad in the background and accidentally bumps into another waiter carrying a pitcher of water on a tray as the water falls backwards onto someone sitting.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood, pardner...er, sir. Sir. I grew up watching your shows and movies! I make sure my family watches five of your movies each and every week!

Panel three: Archie is apologizing as he turns and continues on. The two waiters are angry and the drenched diners look like they could strangle Archie and his dad. Flint Northwood puts his drink down and looks ahead sternly, not acknowledging Mr. Andrews by looking at him. Mr. Andrews leaps up in joy.

Flint Northwood: A man shouldn't stand about when an open chair is right in front of him.

Panel four: Archie is heading towards the seat next to Northwood as his dad takes the seat closest to Northwood. Mr. Andrews introduces Archie as Archie waves hello at Flint Northwood. Flint eyes Archie.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood this is my boy, Archie.

Archie: Hello, sir. My dad quotes you all the time.

Panel five: Archie stops as he's about to sit down in the empty chair next to Flint when Flint glares at him with cold blue eyes and gnashing teeth.

Archie: EEEP

Panel six: Archie moves away from the seat and looks confused as no one is in it. Flint takes another sip from his root beer float.

Flint Northwood: Not that chair. Can't you see someone's in it?

Page 3

Panel one: Archie scratches his head as he questions Flint about someone sitting in the empty chair. Flint rolls his eyes towards Archie. Mr. Andrews slams his hands down on the table as he reprimands Archie for daring to question Flint Northwood. Mr. Andrews slams the table so hard, that a waiter carrying water is startled and tips his water on the person sitting at the next table behind Mr. Andrews. The glass of water in front of the empty chair, unnoticed by everyone, is being stirred using its straw by an unseen presence.

Archie: I don't mean to be disrespectful...but there's no one sitting in that chair.

Mr. Andrews: Archie! Don't be disrespectful at all!!

Panel two: Flint Northwood glares at Archie as Archie begins to back away. Behind Archie another waiter is carrying water as a person sitting at the table behind Archie sees him coming.

Flint Northwood: You seem like a spunky boy, punk.

Panel three: Archie bumps into the waiter just behind him, but the person sitting has an umbrella out and stops the water from landing on him.

Flint Northwood: Well, are you spunky. Well, are you, spunky punk?!!

Archie: No! No! I hate spunk!!

Panel four: Archie takes the other empty seat as a waiter leaves menus for the three. The straw in the water is now back to where it was before. Flint nods in approval at Archie's decision as Mr. Andrews vehemently apologies to Flint Northwood.

Archie: I'll sit here, if that's okay...

Mr. Andrews: I apologize! I swear he didn't get his sass from me! It has to be his mother!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is talking with Flint Northwood as Archie's eye begins to follow a hot attractive teen walking past him. Unnoticed by everyone, an unseen force is beginning to drink from the glass as the water lowers just a bit in the glass. Flint is cracking his knuckles.

Mr. Andrews: I'm sure it comes from his girlfriend Veronica Lodge.

Flint Northwood: I've heard of the Lodges.

Panel two: Archie continues to look on with glazed love eyes as the teenage girl sits down in the table just in front of him, seemingly alone. Northwood continues to talk with Mr. Andrews as Mr. Andrews takes in every word like it were the most important moment of his life. The glass is now 3/4ths filled.

Flint Northwood: A sorry bunch of sod busters who fenced in the range with their barbwire fences to cut off cattle drives and stymie the way of the cowboy.


Panel three: Archie's shoulders slump as the teenage girl's boyfriend, carrying an open umbrella, begins to pull a chair up to sit next to her. A waiter walks by and looks on as he is carrying water and angry that he isn't trusted with his tray of water. Mr. Andrews responds to what Flint said. The glass is now half way full.

Mr. Andrews: I think that's how their family came into money.

Flint Northwood: Yep.

Panel four: Archie turns away disappointed as he begins to eye the now empty glass of water . The waiter is pouring the pitcher of water on the teen boy's umbrella just to spite him. Flint Northwood continues to talk to Mr. Andrews as Mr. Andrews continues to be enamored by his hero.

Flint Northwood: Course I married a woman full of sass three wives past. A strong woman can build a man up.

Archie: ?

Panel five: Archie has the empty glass of water and is holding it up to see if the bottom is leaking to explain how the water went away. Mr. Andrews is looking over at Archie and point at him to comply with what he is saying. More people in the diner are pulling out umbrellas and raincoats as waiters carrying a tray with pitcher of water and knocking them over seem to be increasing by the droves. Archie isn't paying any attention to his dad at all.

Mr. Andrews: You hear that Archie?! I want you to date Veronica and Veronica only!

Archie: Yeah. Sure.


Page 5.

Panel one: Archie is putting the glass back down as has no idea what happened to the water inside. Several people in rain coats are being lead to their seat by an angry waiter as another waiter is mopping the floor. Mr. Andrews continues to talk with Flint Northwood who now has a piece of straw in his mouth.

Flint Northwood: 'Course a good woman does a man a heap of good as well...

Mr. Andrews: Really!? Good! I married a good woman! She takes the garbage out! She's great!

Panel two: Archie looks over as the people in the raincoat trip and fall because of the wet floor. Another waiter looks at the accident as he pours his pitcher of water on some gentleman's lap. Archie winces as he shows empathy for the fallen couple. Archie is beginning to open the menu.

Flint Northwood: Got me a good woman now finally. Soft like a flower pedal.

Panel three: Archie's eyes light up as he looks at the menu and sees the following stretched across two pages: I SEE YOU, CAN YOU SEE ME, ARCHIE?

Flint Northwood: Used to never clean my boots, chew with my mouth closed, and never bought an extra box of girl scout cookies...

Panel four: Archie looks over at the empty chair and empty glass; straw is now on the table somehow. The menu now reads: GUESS NOT, HUH? Mr. Andrews continues to listen to Flint Northwood.

Flint Northwood: Makes a man feel good. Almost like cattle going days without water until he finds a creek.

Mr. Andrews: I feel like that when I'm thirsty!!

Panel five: Archie's face is pale as he looks on uncomprehendingly as he drops the menu flat the table. Mr. Andrews is talking with Archie as Archie just barely responds as he Archie has no idea what is going on.

Mr. Andrews: You hear that, Archie! I want you to date Betty more!! She's a nice girl who can straighten you out some!!

Archie: Sure...that's fine....

Page 6.

Panel one: Mr. Andrews and Flint Northwood are standing up as Mr. Andrews shakes Flint's arm with both hands and as hard as he can; Flint is too grizzled and tough to even notice as his hat nearly falls off his head.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood it was an honor to finally meet you...

Panel two: Mr. Andrews looks over at Archie as Archie is tempting to feel for a person in the empty chair, but is hesitant because he might actually find an invisible person sitting there.

Mr. Andrew:  ...And I know my son feels the same way.

Panel three: Mr. Andrews and Archie are walking away. Mr. Andrews has his arm wrapped around Archie's shoulder as they leave. The couple in the raincoat are chasing after the waiter who was mopping as they cause a waiter carrying another pitcher of water to spin about, splashing several tables with water. The entire floor is completely wet. Flint Northwood is in the background adjusting his cowboy hat.

Mr. Andrews: What an afternoon! It's not everyday you see a celebrity!

Archie: Yeah, I like it when I can see people, too..!!

Panel four: Mr. Northwood is walking away from the table as he looks back at the chair as it is now being pulled in the table by an invisible force.

Northwood: Well, pardner, we best mosey on. Wife's gotta be wondering' where I'm at.

Mr. Northwood: Push the chair up. You weren't raised in a barn.

Panel five.

Everyone in the diner, from the waiters to the umbrella using/rain coat wearing customers looks on as Flint Northwood is walking away with his hands in his trench coat pocket on the extremely wet floor. Right next to him are footprints being pressed in the water. All the customers, with whatever drink they have, are now pouring it out on the floor. The waiter with the mop now has it on his head and eyes as he stumbles around and can't see as he begins to slip.

Flint Northwood: I'm tellin' ya, you'll do great at the convention. You just sit down and answer when I talk to ya.

Flint: ...

Flint: Yeah, I'm sure you'll do better than me in the last season of Cattle Drive. Smarty aleck rassa frassam bunny-rabbit!