(Archie is walking along the mall with Reggie, Betty, and Veronica. Veronica has several shopping bags hung on both arms, Betty has a small bag, and Reggie has a small bag from Pranksters Isle.)

Archie: Hey, has anyone seen Jughead?

Reggie: Yeah, the guy with the black hole for a gut is still at the food court.

(Veronica turns to Betty as they continue to walk along.)

Veronica: Just leave him. I'll wave a candy bar wrapper to call him back when we're preparing to leave.

Betty: Hey, he's just getting what he came for like the rest of us.

(Betty looks in her bag as we see it has small cooking pans and spatulas.)

Betty: I went to Cook Paradise and got a few new cooking sheets to fix my Archie his favorite treats.

(Veronica looks over at Archie as we can see Veronica's bags are filled with dresses and bathing suits. Archie has his dopey smile and is blushing)

Veronica: You can have your pots and pans. I got something my Archie will love to look at.

Archie: Well, um...

(Reggie walks over to Archie and puts his arm carrying his bag over Archie's shoulder and points to it with his free hand. Inside the bag we can see itching powder, thumb tacks and an electric buzzer. Archie has a worried look on his face.)

Reggie: Hey, I was thinking of you on this trip to the mall, too, carrot top.

Archie: Gulp.

(Betty looks at Archie as Archie has his hands in his wallet.)

Betty: But Archie, you haven't bought a single thing.

(Reggie is laughing at Archie as Archie reluctantly nods his heads and rolls his eyes up as he begins to flashback)

Reggie: Hey, when you're the klutz of Riverdale, you make payments for the next seven years even when you window shop!

Archie: That comment wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't true...

(Archie is having a flashback of him and his dad in the basement working on the pipes. A pipe is just above Archie's head as a spider is lowering itself on a spider web in front of him. Archie is holding a wrench as his father is bent down to examine the pipes.)

Archie: See what's wrong, Pops?

Archie's Dad: Not just yet...

(Archie is watching his dad as the spider lowers itself downwards towards Archie's eyes.)

Archie's Dad: Wait just one second.

(Archie's face goes white as the spider is right at his eyes.)

Archie's Dad: It just needs tightening. Archie, hand me the wrench.

(Archie screams and jumps in the air. The wrench in his hand hits the pipe above him.)

(The top of the wrench punctures a hole in the pipe as water begins to poor out.)

SPLOOOSHHH

(Archie, with a guilty expression on his face, is being doused by water as his father turns and glares at Archie.)

Archie: Um...I think we might have to do more than tighten a pipe.

(Back to the mall Archie has an humiliated look on his face. Reggie is trying to hold his laughter as Betty talks. Veronica eyes Betty suspiciously.)

Archie: So that's where most of my money went.

Betty: Yeah, The Andrews had to use my family's washer and dryer all this week!

(Veronica leans over to talk with Betty so the two boys behind them can't hear. Archie is covering his ears with both hands as Reggie is annoying him.)

Veronica: Pray tell, Betty...is that where the help ended?

(Betty tries to avoid Veronica's eyes as she has a guilty look on her face.)

Betty: Well, I did help Archie with his shirts, jeans, and—well...

(Veronica is yelling at Betty as Betty tries to stop smiling. Archie turns his head to the left as he notices a section of the mall.)

Veronica: Betty Cooper! I never pictured you being so scheming!

Betty: Ronnie, washing and ironing someone's clothes isn't scheming!

Veronica: When you go behind my back to wash the shirt that came off of Archie's back, it's the epitome of scheming!

(Archie is going into a section of the mall that sells DVD called Discount Video Dimensions as Betty and Veronica continue to argue. Reggie is rolling his eyes as he listens to the girls argue.)

Archie: You guys try and reprieve Jughead from the food court and wait for me at the car. I'll be a quick second.

Veronica: Hmph. With the generic detergent your family uses, I'm surprised he doesn't have a rash from his head to his toes.

(Reggie is gently pushing Betty and Veronica along as they argue and other people begin to stare.)

Reggie: Why can't two girls ever fight over me like this?

(The girls turn and eye Reggie as he proudly sticks out his chest as if he's a great prize for both girls.)

(The girls go back to arguing about Archie with one another as Reggie makes a sour face as his sneers shifts to his left face cheek.)

Betty: I'll have you know I only used the finest detergent and softener for Archie's varsity jacket!

Veronica: With that rickety tin box you call a washer? That varsity jacket took more hits than his shoulder pads during last night's football game!

(Archie is at the end of a row of DVDs as he is looking through the titles. Archie has two DVD boxes in his hand and using the other to read the back of a DVD box.)

Archie: Wow, they have some really nice classics here. I bet the girls would love some of these.

(Archie is putting one dvd box back, causing the others to tip over like dominoes.)

Archie: As long as I don't show Veronica the receipt that is—oops.

(The line of DVD boxes continue to fall and hits a new stand of the movie The Smerfs (like smurfs only green skin), knocking the entire display, cardboard cut ups and all over. The clerk looks from his counter angrily.)

CRASSHH

Clerk: Hey!

(Archie begins to bend over, but the Clerk points at him to stop.)

Archie: I'm sorry, Mister. Let me pick them up and—

Clerk: I think I'd rather have you leave. But not before you pay for something.

(Archie forces a smile as he picks up two DVDs as a new clerk takes over as the old one is fixing the display. Archie hands him money as he wants to hurry and leave while the older clerk is busy.)

Younger Clerk: Okay, that will be—

Archie: Sure.

Younger Clerk: And your change.

Archie: Eh, I'd just have a few pennies left, you keep it.

(Archie is walking out as the old clerk glares at him as he steadies the display back up. The new clerk is tapping on the scanner on his bench as it seems to not be working.

New clerk: Um, boss, I think the scanner is—

Old clerk: I don't normally like to give money to another business, but you should have given him his change so he could be some new thoughts!

(Archie looks over his two DVDs with mild enjoyment on his face.)

Archie: Be Faithful to Your Deputy and Be Faithful to Your Courthouse. Haven't seen too many comedy-westerns, but they look fun.

(Archie and the gang are getting out of the car in Archie's driveway. Archie is getting out of the driver side, Reggie is getting out of the passenger. Betty is happily getting out of the car. Jughead has a sullen look on his face. The trunk is packed near bursting with most of Veronica's shopping bags being nearly too much for the trunk door to stay.

Reggie: Western Comedy? I've never even watched a western.

Jughead: And you've never been funny, so this should be a whole new experience for you.


(Betty, holding the plastic bag with the DVDs, looks over at Jughead as he seems unhappy.)

Betty: Jughead, are you still mad about having to leave?

Jughead: Hey, you guys got what you wanted, but I only got to the Make Your Own Cookie.

Betty: The cookie was just as big as you!

(Jughead turns his head.)

Jughead: Ants carry twice their body weight; I eat twice my body weight.

(Betty smirks as Jughead eyes her.)

Betty: How about I make some popcorn while we watch one of the movies?

(Jughead leaps out of the car as Betty laughs.)

Jughead: Extra butter and you're forgiven for all trespasses.

(Veronica is getting out of the back seat as she looks at the closed trunk. Archie is holding the door for her.)

Veronica: Archie, you do think my valuables will be safe for the next two hours? I have Katy Keen in there.

Archie: C'mon, Ron, does this look like the neighborhood that would break into someone's trunk?

(Everyone is going inside except Veronica who is eyeing a female from across the street as she is watering her plant.)

Archie: C'mon. Mom and Pops shouldn't be back for at least a few hours.

(The neighbor notices Veronica staring at her.)

(Veronica is walking backwards into the Andrews house as she does the "I'm keeping my eyes on you" motion with her two fingers)

(The neighbor is confused and over watering her plants as Veronica slams the door behind her.)

SLAM

Neighbor: ?

(They are in the living room preparing to watch one of the DVDs. Archie and Veronica are sitting on the living room couch, Reggie is sitting on the floor. Jughead and Betty are coming into the living room with the popcorn. Veronica has her head on Archie's left shoulder. Reggie eyes Archie jealously. Betty is carrying the popcorn as Jughead is taking handfuls and eating them. The bag with the DVDs is next to Reggie.)

Veronica: Isn't this perfect, Archie?

Reggie: Perfection is a matter of opinion and location.

(Jughead suddenly flops down in between Veronica and Archie.)

Jughead: Make way!

Plop

Veronica: !!

(Betty jumps in between Veronica and Jughead, forcing Veronica to the end of the couch where she is far from comfortable.)

Betty: Coming through!!

PLOP

Veronica: Betty!

(Veronica is exchanging words with Betty, who smiles and shrugs her shoulders, as Jughead takes the popcorn bowl and puts it on his lap as he looking keenly at it. Archie has the remote in hand. Reggie is getting the DVDs out as the receipt falls out.)

Betty: Sorry. When in Rome.

Veronica: In Rome they used to feed poor people to lions while rich people watched.

Jughead: I counted each little pop of you...

Archie: Reg, you mind putting a disc in?

Reggie: Yeah, yeah...

(Reggie eyes the receipt.)

Reggie: Wait a sec...

(Reggie is looking at the receipt in one hand and the DVDs in another.)

Reggie: Freckles, you got two DVDs, right?

Archie: The ones in your hand, yeah. Why?

(Reggie hands Archie the receipt.)

Reggie: Well, you only got charged for one, and I don't see any special sell listed.

(Veronica, Betty, and Jughead look over at the receipt as Archie has a confused look on his face.)

Betty: Maybe you won a prize.

Jughead: Nope. They only have one item listed, see?

(Veronica talks as Archie rolls his eyes and exhales with his lips shaped like an O.)

Veronica: Maybe Archie was such a good customer

(Betty explains to Veronica as Veronica gestures with one hand and a slight shrug of her left shoulder.)

Betty: Veronica, businesses don't give away merchandise willy-nilly.

Veronica: They do for the affluent populace.

(Betty rolls her eyes at Veronica. Archie begins to stand up and reaches for the dvd box that he didn't pay for.)

Jughead: Arch, what are you doing?

(Archie takes the DVD box and begins to leave.)

Archie: I'm going to drive back and pay for it.

(Reggie looks up at Archie with disgust.)

Reggie: Why? You didn't do anything wrong. Heck, they may have scanned it, but they didn't ring it up.

(Jughead looks over the receipt.)

Jughead: Only Reggie can be so wrong and yet so right. Not a trace of ink about it and the alarm would have went off if it hadn't been scanned.

Betty: No, it's still wrong.

(Reggie turns to look at Betty.)

Reggie: Okay, let me ask you, when Miss. Grundy misgrades a test paper and marks an incorrect answer correct, do you tell her about it?

Betty: Yes.

(Everyone looks over at Betty awestruck as Betty is confused.)

Betty: What? I can't be the only one.

Reggie: I'm going to have you brought up for sainthood.

(Veronica looks down towards Reggie as Reggie responds.)

Veronica: No money was exchanged for it, so it's still stealing, technically.

Reggie: Hey, you can afford to be honest, but the rest of us can't. You have to make and take every break that you can.

(Reggie looks at Jughead who stops eating as he is being called out. Veronica turns to Jughead as Jughead has half eaten popcorn on his face and clothing.)

Reggie: Look, at Jughead.

Veronica: Must we?

Reggie: Pop Tate is the only guy in the world who collects I.O.U.s while the chow hound gorges away without even batting an eye.

(Betty and Veronica look at Jughead with an eyebrow raised each as he looks extremely guilty.)

Jughead: Well, me and Pop have this relationship and...well--

(Jughead begins wolfing down popcorn to avoid talking and eye contact. Veronica sticks her tongue out in disgust as Betty has the tip of her index and middle finger on her forehead as she rubs her head as if she has a headache.)

Jughead: --um, it's impolite to talk with my mouth full!

Jughead: Chomp Chomp munch!

(Reggie turns his head.)

Reggie: Archie, you listen to me, and I'll—

(Everyone turns to see Archie gone and the door slightly open. Jughead is eating popcorn while talking to Reggie as Reggie has a look of antipathy.)

Jughead: Maybe he couldn't hear you because you weren't on his shoulder like the guy with the halo was...

Reggie: I'm the only one who will ever make it in this group...!

(The Old Clerk is adjusting the cut-up for the Smerfs movie as Archie approaches. The younger clerk is at the counter and register.)

Old Clerk: Finally. If I ever see that little creep again it will be too soon.

Archie: Excuse me...

(The Old Clerk looks up as if talking with some higher power as Archie extends the DVD.)

Old Clerk: I deal with annoying kids, do they have to come back to trouble me so?

Archie: Sir, I recently made a purchase, but not for this DVD.

(The Old Clerk glare at Archie as Archie tries to wave him off.)

Old Clerk: So you're a thief. A thief returning to the scene of the crime! Lester, call—

Archie: No! Wait, you don't understand.

(Archie points at the counter as the young Clerk nods his head.)

Archie: I did pay for it, but for some reason, it wasn't picked up and I just now noticed it on the receipt.

Lester: Mr. Catron, this scanner has been giving us trouble.

(Mr. Catron sighs as Archie reaches into his wallet.)

Archie: And I want to pay for it right now.

Mr. Catron: And let me guess: because you're being so gosh dang noble, I should let you have a free movie or a gift card?

(Mr. Catron takes the ten dollar bill with a sly grin.)

Archie: No, sir. You shouldn't do the right thing and expect anything in return.

Mr. Catron: Well, when you put it that way...

(Mr. Catron puts the money in his pocket.)

Mr. Catron: I won't give you back your change then.

Archie: But that was a ten and the movie was only—

(Archie is angrily leaving Discount Video Dimensions as Mr. Catron leans against his display of Smerfs DVDs with all his weight on his left hand and he has his left foot over right as Lester looks on, unhappy with his boss's action.)

Mr. Catron: Look at it this way: the extra money will help me get a new scanner so no little angel like yourself has to worry his head a mistake like this again.

(Mr. Catron smirks towards Lester, not paying attention to how he is becoming off-balance.)

Mr. Catron: See that, m'boy, that's how you make a profit.

(The display gives way as Mr. Catron falls. Lester looks on gladly.)

Mr. Catron: AAGGGHHH

CRASSSHHH

(Mr. Catron is on the ground as Lester stands over him. Mr. Catron is embarrassed and has a single DVD on his head nearly falling off.)

Lester: Boss, I'll remember this day on many levels.

Mr. Catron: grummmble.

(Archie is coming back inside his house as everyone stayed waiting. Jughead has a new, larger bowl of popcorn. He has the DVD in his left hand.)

Archie: Hey, gang. I'm back.

Betty: How did it go?

(Archie complaisant attitude as he explains what happened as Reggie smiles confidently.)

Archie: Well, I told the guy running the DVD store what happened and he called me a thief, took what was left of my money, and shooed me on out.

Reggie: Hah! See that everyone! I told you, you have to be like me to ever get ahead in this world! You want something, you kick someone out of the way, and you take it!

(Betty gives Reggie a kick to his back.)

Betty: Fine. I want you to be quiet so...

KICK

Reggie: Ow.

(Betty glares down at Reggie as Reggie places a hand over where he was kicked.)

Reggie: Rotten fast learner....!

(Veronica looks sympathetically at Archie who begins to smile.)

Veronica: So you had to deal with that awful man and not have anything to show for it?

Archie: Not exactly...

(Archie sits down next to Betty and Veronica as he throws Reggie the DVD, so he can insert it into the DVD player.)

Archie: I have a clean conscience, and I'm watching a movie with good friends.

(Archie has an arm around Betty and Veronica separately as they both lean over towards him, Reggie is lying with his stomach on the ground as he looks up at the TV, and Jughead is tilting the Popcorn bowl over as he gulps it down with some falling on his shirt.)

Archie: What more can I ask for?

Jughead: More popcorn...this time with some chocolate syrup and honey.

 Page 1

Panel one: Setting is the living room of the Lodge Mansion as someone is knocking on the front door.  Veronica is getting up off the sofa as she is reading a Dazzle Magazine while drinking a diet soda and begins to head towards the door. Mr. Smithers looks like he was going to answer as he crunches his knuckles.

Knock Knock Knock-knock-knock

Smithers: I do believe that bothersome hammering belongs to one Master Andrews. Sigh, I had hoped to go a day without straining my back so...

Panel two: Veronica dashes in front of Smithers as Smithers looks confused but is compliant.

Veronica: Oh, not this time Smithers! Daddy, actually invited Archiekins over this time!

Panel three: Veronica opens the door as Archie and Jughead wait outside. Archie is wearing a flannel jacket and overalls. Jughead is wearing a dirty jacket and dirty jeans and a long sleeve shirt with a mustard stain on it. Archie is happy as he shows off his flannel jacket like it means he is a real lumberjack while Jughead is behind responding.

Archie: Hello, my love! Here comes your handsome lumberjack!


Page 2

Panel one: Veronica is rolling her eyes playfully as Archie rubs the back of his head sheepishly.

Veronica: I don't think busting up that one, already cut up, tree that fell on our property makes you a lumberjack, Archiekins.

Panel two: Jughead chimes in as Veronica glares at him.

Jughead: Sheesh, Ronnie, if your gardener was going to give us a head start, he should have just finished it, too!

Panel three: Veronica steps forward and jabs a finger at Jughead's nose as Archie tries to step in between them to try and calm the situation. Jughead's nose folds like an accordion from the finger poke.

Veronica: How about I tell you to get lost, and let your family freeze the rest of the winter!!

Archie: Now, now...! Let's not let the innocent suffer!

Panel four: Veronica leans against the door frame as she is calming down. Jughead is straightening out his nose

Veronica: Besides, Mr. Greentree sprained his back cutting up the tree--and daddy thought one of my friends could use firewood.

Archie: That's because you have a heart of gold, Ronnie.

Jughead: And an index finger made of steel...

Panel five: Archie and Jughead begin to walk away as Archie waves goodbye to Veronica. Archie seems amped up to get to busting wood while Jughead drags behind and not looking one bit forward to the hard work.

Archie: Anyway, we'll get to work, and be done in a few minutes!

Jughead: ...I still say everyone could have just worn sweaters all the time...

Page 3

Panel one: Archie and Jughead are at the fallen tree as it has been cut into five pieces about eighty pounds each.  In front of the tree is a log splitter (ground version), a crowbar, and a first aid kid.

Archie: Yowza! You could build a small house with these logs!!

Jughead: Yeah. Some woodland creatures lost their condominium.

Panel two: Archie and Jughead are standing in front of the log splitter as Archie is over the blade of the log splitter as he is looking over the first aid kit in confusion.

Archie: I don't get it, Jug. I get the crowbar, and glad for the log splitter but, why the first aid kit?

Archie: The worse that could happen is a splinter!

Panel three: Archie begins to trip over his feet as he falls towards the blade of the log splitter. Jughead reacts and races for Archie.

Archie: Whoops!

Panel four: Jughead grabs Archie by his jacket and stops him by inches hitting his head against the blade of the log splitter.


Archie: !!!

Panel five: Jughead is still holding onto Archie as Archie holds back the first aide kit to show to Jughead as he takes a sigh of relief.

Jughead: Any other questions?

Archie: Yeah...

Archie: You think this one kit will have enough bandages for the both of us?

Page 4:

Panel one: A close-up on Archie and half of the log as he is straining to push one of the logs.

Archie: UURRRKKK

Archie: C'mon! Jugster! You and me can do it!!

Panel two: Archie is straining even more as his face has gone bright red and sweat is pouring down his face.

Archie: ARRGGGHH

Archie: The power of team work---! That's how we'll move this wooden behemoth--!!

Panel three: Pull out more to see that Archie has just noticed that he is the only one trying to move the log as Jughead is not in the scene.

Archie: HRRRRRK

Archie: Mind over matter--!! Right, Jughead...?

Archie: Jughead...?

Panel four: Archie turns around to see Jughead sitting on one of the other logs as Archie begins to walk towards the crowbar.

Jughead: Right. And while my body is not, my thoughts are with you absolutely.

Archie: If you knew what I was thinking right now, you'd get up and start helping push that log!!

Page 5

Panel one: Both Archie and Jughead strain as they finally push the log on the log splitter as both put their backs and shoulders to it.

Archie: Almost—

Archie: GOT IT!!

Panel two: Archie and Jughead are panting heavily as they look at the log on the log splitter. Archie has a look of tired pride while Jughead looks like he'd rather have a root canal with a rake than do this again as he breathes out cold air.

Archie: Huff Huff. Nothing to it, right, Jughead?

Jughead: Nothing is what if feel in my extremities, Arch.

Panel three: Jughead looks back at the other logs as Archie wonders what is wrong with Jughead. Jughead inhales as he looks like he's been asked to move a mountain with these last logs.

Jughead: ...

Archie: Hey, something wrong?

Panel four: Jughead waves off the log on the log splitter as he walks away and decides to quit. Archie clenches his fists and his eyes follow Jughead.

Jughead: Hypothermia has been heavily discriminated against. Jellybean has warm, cuddly dolls to snuggle for heat, and I can just stick my head in the oven.

Panel five: Archie grabs Jughead by the back coat collar and pulls him back as Jughead sticks out his tongue as he is being choked by the sudden jerk.

Archie: The tree is giving, and you're going to take it!!

YANK

Page 6

Panel one: Jughead is at the lever of the wood splitter as he bends over. He looks over his shoulder at the off panel Archie as is at the other end of the log splitter. Jughead is pulling the piston rod back

Jughead: Okay, you sure you're ready?

Panel two: Jughead pulls the lever back as the rod piston goes forward.

Archie off-panel: I've got it steady. Let'er rip!

Jughead: Okay.

Panel three: Jughead turns his head as he calmly reacts to Archie's off-panel plight as he pulls the lever back to retract the piston rod.

Archie off-panel: YOWWWW!!!

Jughead: Had your hand in the way of that metal plate pushing the log, huh?

Panel four: A view of Archie as Archie is holding his swollen hand and jumping up and down in pain as he obviously had his hand in the way of the piston rod and had it smashed. Jughead is beginning to stand up as he looks towards the first aid kit.

Archie: OW! OW! OW!

Jughead: I'll just get the first aid kit.
                   

Page 7

Panel one: Jughead and Archie finally have the log split in half as Jughead tells Archie they are going to split the half still on the log splitter.

Jughead: Okay, let's split it again!

Panel two: The half of the log is being split as Archie looks over at Jughead in confusion.

Jughead: Again! And again! And again three times more...!

Archie: Are you sure?

Panel three: A shot of the lever going back and forth rapidly to show how Jughead keeps splitting the log.

Panel four: Jughead looks over as Archie angrily stands by a pile of thin sticks that Jughead had him reduce the half log to as the other half is on the other side of the log splitter. Jughead seems happy.

Jughead: Perfect! Now it'll be easier to load!

Panel five: Jughead is running and shielding his head as Archie has a bundle of sticks in on hand as he begins throwing them at Jughead.

Jughead: Okay! Okay! We'll make them a tad bigger from now on!


Page 8

Panel one: A long on the on the blade of the log splitter is stuck as Archie motions for Jughead to stop and come over.

Archie: Whoa! Hold up, Jug! This piece is stuck!

Panel two: Jughead and Archie strain to pulls the log free as it is just wedge and will not budge. Archie looks over at the crowbar on the ground.

Jughead: This is worse than trying to pry Ethel off of me--!

Panel three: Archie is coming back with the crowbar as he motions for Jughead to get out of the way.

Archie: Out of the way! I'll get it!

Panel four: Archie uses the crowbar under the wood, and pushes too hard as he slips and sends the log flying into the sky as Jughead puts his hand over his eyes lids to better see the log soar in the air.

Archie: YIKES

ZOOOOOOMMM

Jughead: Huh. If flying wood falls and no one is around does it make a sound?

Panel five: A shot inside the Lodge Mansion as Mr. Lodge is in his study reading a newspaper as the log suddenly crashes into a nearby window and startles him as he tosses the newspaper in the air and begins to topple over in his chair.

CRASH

Mr. Lodge: !!!

Panel six: Archie and Jughead listen as they hear Mr. Lodge scream. Archie hangs his head in shame.

ARCHIE ANDREWS, YOU NITWIT!!!

Archie: I never like hearing that sound...

Page 9

Panel one: Behind Jughead and Archie is a pile of wood they have split and thrown behind them as the look on proudly.

Archie: Look at what the two of us managed to do! We should be proud of what we accomplished!

Jughead: We should be happy it's over.

Panel two: Archie stretches out his arms and flexes his muscles as Jughead actually seems to be inspired by Archie's speech.

Archie: Jug, we pushed logs like real men did! We split wood and pried it with our own hands. These hands right here!

Panel three: Archie looks at the palm of his hands as his face begins to turn pale.

Archie: Say...? Is that blood...?

Panel four: Archie falls over and faints as Jughead looks on.

Archie: Ohhhhhhhhhh

Panel five: Jughead begins to take a nap right next to the unconscious Archie. Archie is flat on his back with his legs and arms sticking straight up in the air. Jughead is using a piece of log as a pillow and has his arms folded over the back of his head.

Jughead: Yeah, this manly man could use a nap, too!

Page 10

Panel one: Veronica is putting on her jacket as she prepares to go outside.

Veronica: Archie and Jughead should be about done. I'll go get Rawley to get one of our trucks so they can load the wood.

Panel two: Veronica puts an index finger to her lips as she looks up and begins to think.

Veronica: Wait a second...

Veronica: Why don't I surprise the boys and drive down myself?

Panel three: Veronica is heading into one of the Lodge garages as she skips inside happily.

Veronica: I've never driven a stick before, but how hard can it be?

Panel four: A shot of the garage as everything is still.

Panel five: A red truck backs out in a zoom, drives into the yard recklessly and marks up the yard as it continues on its way.

SCRREEEE

ZAARRRR

ZAAAAAMM

Panel six: Archie and Jughead are sitting on the stump that the tree left when it fell as Archie rolls up his jacket and looks at his watch. Jughead reacts to a loud noise ahead of them.

Archie: I told Ronnie to send the truck right around this time...

SCRRAAAAAMMMSHH

Jughead: Um, is that what Mother Nature sounds like when she goes, "OW"?

Page 11

Panel one: Archie and Jughead run up a hill to see what the nose was. As they run, several woodland creatures (rabbits, foxes, squirrels, mice, deer, and even a bear) run down the hill just to the right side. Archie focuses straight ahead as Jughead turns to notice the animals.

Archie: C'mon, Jug, let's see what made that noise!!

Panel two: Archie and Jughead are at the top of the hill as they Veronica standing next a now wrecked truck that has ran into and knocked over a large oak tree. Veronica, trying to act calm and casual about the situation, is standing and motioning the tree to the boys as they react in shock. Several rabbits and squirrels are on tree and truck as they examine everything. A deer is looking at the tree and truck and breathing a sigh of relief that that is not him. Archie and Jughead react in surprise with both jumping off their feet.

Veronica: Archie, Jughead...

Veronica: This should do you both for years! You're both very welcome, now go to the shed, get the ax, and get to work!


Archie and Jughead: !!!

THE END.

Sounds good to me.

 PTF Reviews Super Suckers 2.3

Well, how was everyone's Memorial Day? Mine involved having to take my aunt to the hospital because she felt dizzy. Fair enough. But then after an eight hour wait, I check on her to find I could have been out much sooner...but she didn't want to give a urine sample. And personally, I don't like being in a den of disease and death longer than I have to. So you can imagine I was little miffed. Very angry because I caught a bug in that horrid place.


So let's take all my anger out on Super Suckers Mirror, Mirror part three.

Kelly arrested, Jess a druggie, Sy has a weak bladder, fight, pretend girlfriends, and just the occasional insane moment or two awaits us!

The Good.

Trevor. Fine. I was wrong. It happens. Often. Yeah, I like him now that he's had more comic time and he's developed. I like that he's a dumb oaf with dumb luck who got what he wanted. Plus his hidden side. So yeah, he's going to be a fun addition to the cast.

Sheer insanity: God help me, but I love when there's so much insanity going on with so many characters. This issue made me think of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World. Just everyone running around, fighting, arguing, talking and all going in the same direction. It was all really enjoyable. Every character's personality's shined and I can take any word balloon and you probably guess who said what, so I really appreciate that. Every character gets a moment or joke that you laugh at. And that only makes this my favorite part of this story. And the expressions and body language of all the characters was great. Wonderful work by Darin and Shultz. And let's not forget co-host Robin Taylor.

Coloring and Inking: Just the usual superb job. The best showcase for both is when Kelly gets mad and goes ballistic. The red hue surrounding her head was a really nice touch.  And the lettering was also great.


The Bad.

Sitcommerical: Only one and it's a repeat.


Miscoloring. Jess's night gown was green in one panel. So a rare mistake by Glenn Whitmore. But to be fair, Barry Grossman miscolored the TMNTs bandanas on occasion, so no shame in it.



Yeah, there's not much wrong with this issue.



What I learned from what I read.

Don't make Kelly mad.

• If you're going to go after vampires, learn to fight.
• Funny how some people are related, huh?
• Jess's dad has a week bladder.
• No one believes a deranged looking individual screaming at the top of her lungs.
• When someone says "Freak-a-zoid" I get the old cartoon theme in my head for hours—"freakzoid, chimpanzee!" Cripes, not again...!!
• Trevor and cosmetology go together like lotion and hands.
• Adam's hobbit hat will always be stupid that I will never be wrong about.
• If you don't understand someone or they seem different...they're on drugs.
• Snoopy walked into some weird going-ons!

 
This is one of my favorite issues I've read of Super Suckers. Everything clicked. It was fun face paced conclusion. Everything was wrapped up in a nice bow, great work all around. It's an easy A+.  You should really pick this comic up as it's a steal at 1.99 for the quality you get.

So until next time. Same time, Same BAT CHANNEL.

Just bought it.

DC did a comic explaining the origin of Space Ghost. If I remember it right he was a space police officer who got promoted to a special force (think shadow ops) and they were corrupt. He was going to expose them until they found out. They killed his pregnant wife and left him for dead on an alien world.

The world turns out to be Ghost Planet and an alien who created weapons is looking for redemption after his inventions were used for war. He takes a chance on him and gives him some gear. But Space Ghost wants revenge and goes after the people who left him for dead.

I remember kid Jane and Jayce who lost their family after Zorak invaded their world. There's a main Zorak and drones and the main one dies, his consciousness goes into a drone and becomes the new Zorak. Anyway, Space Ghost has to decide if he wants revenge or justice. Get the guy who ruined his life or save the world and the kids he bonded with.

He becomes the hero we're used to (no not the talk show host). Stops Zorak, turns the bad guy into the police, and then goes back to the barren planet to prepare to become a full hero and train Jane and Jayce.

I think his real name might have been Tad or Chad.

Well, she obviously couldn't ask for a pen and pencil.

Yeah, but that's what imaginations are for.

 Page 1

Panel one: Betty and Veronica are near a Cosmo soda machine in the hallway of Riverdale High as the school day is beginning. Both girls are looking at Archie as he is across the hall trying with both arms to keep his books and notes and various other items from falling out of his locker. Veronica has a purse draped over her left shoulder while Betty has her back pack in her right arm dragging on the floor. The Riverdale Bulldog mascot has a pink puppy dog backpack and a doggie bag as he makes his way amongst the students going up and down the hall to their classroom or taking or placing books in our out of their lockers.

Veronica: Sigh, look at my Archie, Betty. Isn't he suave?

Betty: And handsome, Veronica.

Panel two: Both Veronica and Betty turn to each other as they say the same thing at the same time.

Veronica and Betty: He's the man of my dreams!

Panel three: Betty is poking Veronica's face cheek with her right hand and pinching her arm with her left hand as Veronica reacts in shock and pain.

Betty: Jinx!

Betty: Pinch and a poke! You owe me a coke!

Veronica: !!

Panel four: Betty smiles triumphantly as Veronica glares at her and shakes a fist in her direction. She uses her other hand to rub her face cheek that had just gotten pinched.

Betty: You snooze, you lose, Ronnie. Remember, by girl code, you can't talk until you give me a soda.

Page 2

Panel one: Veronica uses one hand to wave off Betty's comment and the other to point at the Cosmo Soda machine just behind them as she grins arrogantly.

Betty: Yeah. I guess it's not going to be for long.

Panel two: Veronica is reaching into her purse and diamond encrusted dollar pouch as she begins to take out one of several thousand dollar bills.

Betty: Yowza! You could buy a soda franchise with your allowance!

Panel three: Betty looks on worriedly as Veronica is shoving the thousand dollar bill into the soda machine. Veronica turns her head and scoffs at Betty's suggestion.

Betty: Ron, maybe you should use smaller bills. The label says it only takes 1 and 5 dollar bills.

Panel four: The soda machine is beginning to overload from the large bill as Veronica doesn't notice as she has turned away and is using her free hand to mimic Betty's mouth. Betty notices sparks coming from the money slot of the soda machine.

Betty: Uh-oh.

Panel five: The soda machine begins to spark as both girls step back as it shake violently to the point it is causing the ground to shake as the two girls cling to each other for support. Various other students passing by don't fair much better. Especially one student who has his arms full with his paper-mache volcano as it erupts baking soda right up to the ceiling of Riverdale High.

Panel six: The machine is charred and has become warped like a squeezed soda can. The machine now reads OUT OF ORDER just above the money slot and the soda options are now totally blank. Betty is rubbing the back of her head as she assesses the damage while Veronica points at Betty while she uses her other hand like she is zipping her mouth shut as her way of telling Betty to ZIP IT! Just behind the girls we can see a puddle of baking soda.

Betty: Told'ja so.

Page 3

Panel one: Archie is coming over to the girls as he is looking around nervously and weaving his way past various students who are lying on the floor covered in baking soda. The kid with the paper-mache volcano is the worse as he looks like a living marshmallow with shocked bulging eyes. Veronica innocently backs towards the soda machine as if to cover it up and shrugs her shoulders and puckers her lips to seem like she is whistling harmlessly. Betty looks at Archie and taps her chin with her index finger as she comes up with a scheme to take Archie from Veronica.

Archie: You girls okay?! It's like a sumo wrestler stepped on a fault line!

Panel two: Betty is wrapping her arm around Archie and is leading him away from a stunned Veronica.

Betty: Archie, do you think we can sit together in 5^th period, and together at lunch, and have a study date and then just a date?

Archie: Gee, Betty, I promised Veronica that—

Panel three: Betty continues to lead Archie away as Veronica, here eyes focused on Betty, is behind them as she punches back at the soda machine right at the Cosmo mascot as it seems to wince in pain from the blow.

Betty: Now, Archie, if Veronica minded I'm sure we would have heard something from her by now, don't you?

Archie: I guess.

Panel four: Archie and Betty are walking off in the distance as Betty skips along side Archie as she stills makes sure Archie can't turn around to see Veronica. Veronica is shooting daggers at Betty with here eyes. Over Veronica's head is a thought balloon of Veronica strangling Betty until she turns blue with her tongue hanging out to her side. Svenson is using a leaf blower to clean up the science fair project student and other students who smile in approval. The science fair student's face is being pushed back to the point he looks almost like Popeye the Sailor. The Cosmo mascot on the soda machine now has a black eye and missing teeth from the blow Veronica gave it.

Archie: Huh. I really thought Veronica would be upset and throw a fit.

Betty: Oh, I'm sure what Veronica's thinking is nothing but the best.

Page 4

Panel one: Veronica is stomping her foot as her face cheeks are bright red. Behind her the mascot drawing of Cosmo on the soda machine is backing away from the raging Veronica as it uses it's arms as shields as it doesn't want to be hurt again. Walking up to Veronica is Jughead who has a can soda that he is preparing to drink. Jughead is tapping the top of the soda so it doesn't spew.

Jughead: So the next dance sensation or another hissy fit from Riverdale's princess?

Panel two: Veronica eyes Jughead's soda and points at it as she is filled with relief.

Jughead: Huh? Oh this is a carbonate beverage. It's what we peasants drink in lew of nectar.

Panel three: Veronica is on her hands and knees as she is begging for the soda as Jughead tilts his head in confusion.

Jughead: So...you want this can of soda...?

Panel four: Veronica nods her head rapidly with a giant smile on her face as Jughead smiles back and gives her a thumbs up.

Jughead: Oh. I gotcha. Sure, Ronnie. What are friends for?

Panel five: Jughead tilts his head back as he lets the soda go into his wide open mouth as he gulps it down as small lumps of soda goes down his long stretched neck. Veronica is crawling on her knees and waving her arms frantically for Jughead to stop.

Jughead: gulp gulp gulp

Panel six: Jughead is burping as he is walking away after leaving Veronica with the empty soda can. Veronica is so upset that she slams the empty can into her forehead and completely flattens it.

Jughead: There you go. The can. Be sure to recycle it for when you're done, Veronica.

Page 5

Panel one: Veronica is beginning to stand up as she is dismayed as the one minute bell rings and students begin to go into classrooms. The science fair student from earlier looks on dejectedly as a line of students are carrying better and bigger paper-mache volcanoes than him as his paper-mache volcano is now warped and soggy.

VRRRIINNGG

Intercom: Remember students, one minute to get into your first period class. I repeat, one minute.

Panel two: Veronica slumps her shoulders and seems resigned into her newly appointed vow of silence as she enters Miss Grundy's classroom as Ginger Lopez and Adam wonder what is wrong with her as they are just outside of the classroom talking.

Panel three: Veronica is inside of the classroom as she is raising her arms to motion towards Miss Grundy whose attention is completely in her roll book as she checks off names. Around Veronica, Ethel, Moose, Chuck, and Frankie look at Veronica in confusion as they don't know what's wrong with her. Nancy is in front of Veronica as she raises her arm as she confirms she's here. Next to Nancy are two random students playing paper football as a real football is being thrown from outside into an open classroom window and heading their way.

Miss Grundy: Nancy?

Nancy: Here.

Miss Grundy: Veronica?

Miss Grundy: Veronica Lodge...?

Panel four: Miss Grundy looks up from her attendance book as Moose points at Veronica who is now standing up with her jaw dropped from Miss Grundy's comment. Veronica has her right hand just below her neck to illustrate how she feels insulted. One of the random students has the football jammed into his mouth as the other student tries to pull it free.

Moose: Duh, Veronica's here, Miss Grundy, but I don't think her vocal box is working.

Miss Grundy: Oh my! Veronica not talking! This might be pleasant if not serious!

Panel five: Miss Grundy motions towards the door as Veronica, with her head held down and back bent begins to dejectedly leave the class room.

Miss Grundy: Veronica, go see Nurse Robin.

Miss Grundy thinking: My. Look at that poor form. She must be awfully sick. I'll send word to Mr. Weatherbee...


Page 6

Panel one: Nurse Robin (a middle age woman in her forties with graying black hair and wearing typical nurse clothing) is using a small light to look into Veronica's mouth as Veronica is sitting on a nurse bed. One pillow on the bed seems to be reserved for Reggie Mantle with a tag reading: He'll Never Learn. The room is decorated with bird wall paper and various hand sanitizers on the walls. On a nearby desk is large over stuffed folder reading: ARCHIE ANDREWS ACCIDENTS and another even bigger folder reading: CAFETERIA FOOD.

Nurse Robin: Odd. No swelling of the tonsils even...

Panel two: Nurse Robin is talking with Veronica as Veronica lets out a sigh.

Nurse Robin: I don't see why you can't speak, Veronica.

Nurse Robin: Maybe it's all psychological?

Panel three: Suddenly Mr. Lodge bursts into the room as he is clearly panicked that something could be wrong with his daughter. Nurse Robin takes a step back as he charges into the room. In the hallway we can see a trampled hall monitor that Mr. Lodge had just plowed through as the kid vainly still his hand extended in a stop motion.

Mr. Lodge: Veronica! I just got a call from Mr. Weatherbee! Utter a syllable! Ask for a new dress! Say anything to your daddy!!

Panel four: Veronica tries to use sign language vainly to communicate what she is saying as she swishes her arms around as a caption box just at the bottom of the panel is there to communicate what she is saying. Nurse Robin and Mr. Lodge focus on what Veronica is trying to communicate.

Caption: I am a platypus. I go to Mars. My favorite color is cardboard.

Panel five: Nearly an identical shot as all three look down at the caption.

Panel six: Mr. Lodge hugs his daughter as he's worried she's sick while Nurse Robin looks like she's going to cry. Veronica has her head over Mr. Lodge shoulders as she rolls her eyes and twists her face in a "why me" type facial expression.

Mr. Lodge: Don't you worry, Veronica!! I'll get the best doctors!!

Page 7

Panel one: A shot of a Lodge Jet as it streaks across the sky as a flock of birds are flying in an E formation much to the confused pilot's bewilderment. The Lodge Jet stretches across the sky and has #25 on it to show that the Lodges' have at least twenty four more jets like this.

Mr. Lodge inside of the jet: Don't worry, Veronica! Daddy is here!

Panel two: Inside of the massive jet we see Mr. Lodge and Veronica in the middle seat of the massively roomed jet which includes a fifty inch TV, a sports bar, and even a mini golf course. Mr. Lodge and Veronica are sitting in golden and diamond encrusted seats as Mr. Lodge has an arm wrapped around Veronica as Veronica has hear elbows at her knees and her head in her open palm as she stares out dejectedly.

Mr. Lodge: We're going to see the best speech specialists in the world!

Mr. Lodge: I swear I will hear you ask if Archie can come over, and I'll tell you no just like always!

Panel three: Outside of a hospital that is nearly seven stories tall with a giant mouth and a red hospital cross as a log as we can see through tinted glass windows of two doctors all dressed in white gowns and wearing face masks and rubber gloves as one of the doctors has a tongue depressor on Veronica's tongue. At the ground level we see a sign reading Dr. Johnson/Johansson you will say Yes/Jah! Climbing on the wall of the Speech Hospital is a Human Fly as a Arachno-Man is swinging at him with his webbing, using his free hand to rub his stomach to motion that he's hungry.

Mr. Lodge: Dr. Johnson, Dr. Johansson! Tell me, what you've found!

Page 8

Panel one: Inside of the hospital room as Dr. Johansson (Slightly smaller than Dr. Johnson and a bit plumper) has the tongue depresser on Veronica's tongue as Dr. Johnson (Taller, wears glasses, and has a blond split curl sticking out from doctor's hat) tells Mr. Lodge their finding as Mr. Lodge rolls his eyes. Veronica glares at her doctors as she has a thought balloon of two donkeys as doctors to show what she really thinks of the speech specialists.

Dr. Johnson: Good news! She has a tongue!

Dr. Johansson: Ja! Dat's good start!

Panel two: Mrs. Lodge in a purple dress and white elegant purse walks into the doctor's office as Mr. Lodge rushes towards her. In the background, Dr. Johnson is tapping Veronica's forehead with his knuckle while Dr. Johansson is pulling at Veronica's left ear. Veronica is obviously irritated at the two bumbling doctors.

Mrs. Lodge: When I got your text, I flew right over. Now what is this all about, Hiram?

Mr. Lodge: Hermione, something is deeply wrong with our Veronica!

Panel three: Veronica is punching Dr. Johnson's stomach and kicking Dr. Johansson in retaliation as her face is red with rage and her teeth are gritted. In the background, Mr. and Mrs. Lodge look on.

Mrs. Lodge: She seems normal to me.

Mr. Lodge: She's aware! She's cognitive! But the last time anyone heard her utter a syllable was when she and Betty were dropped off for school.

Mrs. Lodge: Hm? Is that so...?


Page 9

Panel one: Mrs. Lodge is looking at Veronica as Veronica looks hopeful at her to the point she is nearly brought to tears.

Mrs. Lodge: Veronica...you didn't happen to speak with Betty last, did you?

Panel two: Veronica happily nods her head to reply as Mr. Lodge continues to query her daughter as she's beginning to understand what happened. Mr. Lodge and the two doctors look on with amazement.

Mrs. Lodge: You wouldn't happen to have said the same thing at the same time...?

Panel three: Mr. Lodge places a hand on each of Veronica's shoulders as Veronica has her head lowered in shame.

Mrs. Lodge: Honey, you and I practice every night to avoid this! A teenage girl always has to be on her guard!

Panel four: Veronica looks excited Mrs. Lodge hands her four quarters in her palm and motions for Veronica to leave.

Mrs. Lodge: Now you got get a soda out of the machine down the hall and take my personal jet back to Riverdale High before you miss your next period.

Panel five: Veronica is dashing out of the hospital room as the two doctors surround Mrs. Lodge and begins to question her about her "healing skills". Mr. Lodge is putting a hand across her back to push her towards the doctors as he is all smiles and proud of his wife. Mrs. Lodge has completely no idea and no way out as sweat forms at her forehead.

Dr. Johnson: Mrs. Lodge! You must tell us your secret cure!

Dr. Johansson: Ja! Da voiceless may speak dankes to you!

Mr. Lodge: Go on, Sweetie. Tell them! We can save lives and my pharmaceutical companies will make millions!!

Mrs. Lodge: Er...um. I need a refreshment...?

Page 10

Panel one: At the Riverdale cafeteria as Betty Cooper is startled from her Archie scrapbook by Veronica who slams a Cosmo Mars Cherry soda can in front of her. Behind Veronica, Nurse Robin is helping several students who are sick to their stomachs and faces have turned green out of the cafeteria as Miss Beazley looks on with contempt. The pictures we can see in the scrap book mostly seem to be ones of Betty taking the pictures of Archie behind trees and various other objects. One picture has Archie covering up with the shower curtain as Betty is taking a picture of him.

TINK

Betty: ?

Veronica: Here! Here's your stupid soda!!

Panel two: Betty is examining the soda as Veronica becomes enraged to the point veins are popping in her forehead and on her clenched fists. Betty doesn't notice as she innocently critiques the soda.

Betty: Thanks, Ronnie, but I only drink diet. And it's warm!

Panel three: Veronica leans nose to nose with Betty as she snarls and glares at Betty as Betty begins perspire out of fear as her eyes widen and she tries to lean her head away from Veronica.

Veronica: DRINK

Veronica: IT

Veronica: NOW!!!

Panel four: Veronica looks on with her arms folded across her chest as she monitors Betty as Betty begins to sip the soda can as she twists her face in disgust as she doesn't like the soda at all. In the background, two students are running away from Miss Beazley as Miss Beazley wants them to taste a stew in a long wooden spoon that has steam emitting from the stew that forms into a skull just above.

Betty thinking: Sheesh! If you can't say anything nice, then go back to not saying anything at all!!

 Page 1

Panel one: Betty and Archie are in Pickens Park sitting on a concrete park table and bench as they look at a kid a few inches taller than Dilton with dark red hair messy hair, a black shirt with a small orange and yellow flame on the front and long jeans that drag at the feet as he is walking along. The kid has a permanent scowl on his face nearly throughout the story. The weather is cloudy with the sunshine breaking through. Betty prepares to wave at him while Archie stops her by grabbing her wrist.

Betty: Hey, it's that new kid, Aaron Angerer! I haven't had the chance to greet him since he transferred to RHS last week!

Archie: Don't bother, Betty. I tried being nice and talking with Aaron and all he did was say he hated everything and was grumpy the entire conversation!

Panel two: Aaron Angerer is unhappily looking up at the sky as the clouds part and a small rainbow can be see in the bright blue sky with a gorgeous yellow sun overhead. A boy and his mother look up and enjoy the rainbow. The small boy points up and tugs at his mother's leg for her to look at the rainbow. In the background, Betty and Archie look on.

Boy: Mommy, look!

Mother: Yes, a nice pleasant little rainbow...

Panel three: Aaron waves off the rainbow in disgust as he continues to walk along. The mother and boy did not appreciate what Aaron said as the mother takes her son away from Aaron as the boy turns his head and makes a face at Aaron. Archie motions towards Betty in an "I told you so" type way as Betty sees Archie's point but tries to be optimistic as she brushes her hair with her right hand.

Aaron: I hate rainbows!

Archie: See?

Betty: Well, we all have bad days...

Page 2

Panel one: Archie holds up seven fingers as Betty looks over at Aaron as Aaron has stopped on his way as a line of ducks are crossing in front of him into a nearby pond. Aaron looks like he's going to erupt in rage at the seemingly endless line of ducks that stretches off-panel.

Archie: Most of us do. But Aaron Angerer he bad weeks!

Panel two: Betty puts a finger to her chin as she begins to think as a smile forms on her face. Archie looks off, and motions towards Pickens Park as he talks, not noticing that Betty is taking his words to heart.

Archie: I bet that he's going to walk around and not find one thing in Pickens Park that he likes.

Panel three: Betty jumps up and slams her palms on the table as a startled Archie falls out of his bench and lands on his back.

Betty: I'll take that bet!!! I'm sure I can help him reposition his bad disposition!!

SLAM

Archie: AAAHHH!!!

WHUD

Panel four: Betty is running down to Aaron Angerer, just as the line of ducks is beginning to end. As Archie is bent over on his back, he looks up and rolls his eyes towards a duck that is looking down at him with crazy eyes.

Archie: So, do you have the same trouble with girls too, Mr. Duck?

Duck: Quack! Quack!!

Caption: Translation: You bet I do, Donald! They drive me daffy!!

Page 3

Panel one: Aaron heatedly watches as the last duck finally crosses the path as he waits impatiently and expresses it by tapping his foot and tapping a finger against the side of his leg. Betty is running up to greet him.

Aaron Angerer: I hate ducks that only travel in single file line!

Betty: Aaron Angerer, right? My name's Betty Cooper!

Panel two: Betty extends his hand for Aaron to shake as Aaron looks down at like it was a bear trap.

Betty Cooper: Welcome to Riverdale!

Aaron Angerer: I hate first impressions!

Panel three: Aaron begins to walk off in a huff with both hands in his jean pockets as he brushes against a jogger. Betty flips her hand over and moves her fingers around as if to inspect if something is wrong with it as she's beginning to doubt her attempt to brighten up Aaron's day.

Aaron: I hate joggers who don't give the right of way.

Betty thinking: Huh, this might be tougher than I thought.

Panel four: Betty runs up to Aaron as above Aaron in the trees are several multi colored blooms in the tree and various birds enjoying nature as they fly about. On the ground are several rabbits who happily hop around the trees while a grasshopper is playing music using its legs like a guitar. A line of ants are struggling to fit a pink cupcake in their ant hill as the ant in charge leans his body over to motion for the other ants to pivot the cupcake.

Betty: How about I walk with you in Pickens Park? We can talk about all the things you see that you like!

Aaron: I don't like most of whatever I'm looking at.

Betty: I'm sure we can change that with positive thinking!

Aaron: I positively hate having to think.

Page 4.

Panel one: The two stop as a mother robin is with a baby robin in her nest looking down at the two with a smile. Betty points the robins out as Aaron scowls upward as he lets out a puff of air that curls his lips to his left side.

Betty: Well, just look up there. A robin and her baby bird.

Panel two: Betty is talking about the Mother Robin as the Mother Robin sticks her red chest out.

Betty: Just look at those feathers and that lovely red chest!

Panel three: The Mother Bird holds her baby in her arms as if to showcase him. The baby bird waves hello with one wing. Betty cups her hands to her face as she can hardly contain her happiness and excitement because of how adorable the baby bird is to her.

Betty: And look! A little baby robin! Isn't he the cutest?!

Panel four: Aaron waves off the robins in the tree as he moves along. The two robins glare down at Aaron as Betty is surprised at how quickly he dismissed the robins.

Aaron: I hate birds. Especially baby birds.

Panel five: The mother robin is pecking at Aaron's head as he tries and shields himself with his arms. The baby bird is barely flying as he attempts to join his mother. Betty folds her arms and looks away as she is displeased with Aaron. The ants have managed to fit the cupcake in the hill as the line is now bringing a plate, spoon, and empty glass cup as the ant in charge faints at the next few challenges he'll have to deal with.

Aaron Angerer: Ow! I hate being in pain!!

Betty thinking: Too bad you don't hate being a pain!!

Page 5.

Panel one: Betty looks up to see three squirrels in a tree looking on from a nearby tree branch. Betty's eyes light up as she has a new plan. The mother and baby robin are flying away as Aaron is sitting on the ground with his head bent down as several pain stars are over his head. The middle squirrel is imitating Aaron as the other two use their hands to make bird images swooping around it.

Betty: He might not like feathered woodland creatures—but maybe he'll like the furry ones!

Panel two: Betty is bent down towards Aaron and has the three squirrels in both hands as they all do a courtesy.

Betty: Say, do you know what I like best about the park?

Aaron: Squirrels?

Panel three: Aaron is rolling his eyes as he is barely paying attention. One squirrel is acting like a snob with its nose sticking straight up in the air, one squirrel is acting like he's eating and is sticking his stomach out, and one squirrel is pretending to trip over his own tail.

Betty: These little guys like to follow me and my friends around, and after awhile I decided to name them.

Panel four: The tallest squirrel does a one finger salute to his forehead, the middle squirrel extends both arms and stands sideways as he presents himself, and the shortest squirrel gives Aaron two thumbs up. Aaron scowls at the squirrels.

Betty: I named this one Wally.

Betty: This one is Nutmeg

Betty: And this one is Oaky-Doaky

Page 6

Panel one: Aaron stands up and dusts himself off as he talks about how he doesn't like the squirrels to even Betty's surprise. Wally and Nutmeg glare at Aaron as Oaky-Doaky uses his tail to cry on.

Aaron: I don't like squirrels. They're covered in disease and can get you sick!

Panel two: A close-up on the three squirrels as they seem to be conversing with each other. We see Betty's face as she raises an eyebrow as she's wondering what they are talking about.

Betty: Um...
                                                 
Panel three: Betty's face is alarmed as Wally slams a fist into his open palm as Nutmeg and Oaky-Doaky nod in approval and peer over at Aaron with devious smiles curled across their faces.

Panel four: The three squirrels are now in the tree branches above the trail as they begin to pelt Aaron with more acorns. On the ground, nuts are at Aaron's ankle showing they've been laying waste to him for a good, long time.  Wally has several in one arm as he is throwing, Nutmeg is punting the acorns out of the tree at Aaron, and Oaky-Doaky is loading up five acorns at once on a tree branch as he pulls it back and is read to unleash a barrage. Betty sits under the shade of a tree with her head on her palms as she watches. Next to her is a tortoise reading a comic book with various mutant ninja animals on it. A hare is hopping towards the tortoise. Aaron is running around in a circle like a chicken with its head cut off as he is screaming in anger. In the branches a sad spider has woven a web that reads: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD READ THIS.

Aaron: I hate all the 100 ways to hurl nuts at my head!!

Betty: Sigh.

Betty: Maybe we should try avoiding animals...

Page 7

Panel one: Aaron is sneezing into a handkerchief as Betty holds up several flowers towards his face as she looks with an eyebrow raised in surprised. Aaron's nose is runny and his eyes are water to the point he looks like he's crying. Behind Aaron and Betty, the hare is pointing and laughing with its eyes closed at the tortoise, which is now wearing a black mask bandana and is coming at the hare with a ninja flying jump kick.

Aaron Angerer: I—WWWAHHHCCHHUU!!---hate flowers!! Acchuuu!!! Accchuuu!!!

Panel two: Aaron is being chased by an elderly woman with a cane and an elderly man in a wheel chair who tilts his body forward as he tries to get even more leverage to go faster. Betty steps back and looks on speechlessly. Next to Betty, the hare, with a footprint of the tortoise's footprint on its face, has become the disciple of the tortoise as they are both practicing the crane pose ala the Karate Kid.

Aaron Angerer: I hate elderly people in the park!!

Panel three: Aaron is looking at the bottom of his shoe as Betty holds her nose to try and block the stench. Behind them is a man walking his dog as they continue along. In the background, Nutmeg and Wally are playing leap frog as Nutmeg rides a rabbit and Wally a frog. Above Betty is Oaky Doaky flying in the air thanks to several multi-colored butterflies carrying him. Oaky Doaky has one fist ahead as he strikes a Superman flying pose.

Aaron Angerer: I hate people who walk their dogs!!

Panel four: Betty is eating an apple from under an apple tree. Behind her, unbeknownst to her, Aaron is getting bombarded by several apples that fall out of the tree as he puts both arms over his head  and bends over to try and defend himself. The reason for the apples falling on him is a woodpecker pecking at the branch as hard and fast as it can.

Aaron Angerer: I hate apples!! 

Panel five: Aaron Angerer has a tree branch over his body as Betty begins to lift if off of him as Aaron swats an apple away. The tree branch has several more apples on it with various colored worms sticking their heads out wondering what happened. In the apple tree, the woodpecker cups its wings over its head in triumph. In the nearby bushes, a sasquatch and a jackalope peek out of some nearby bushes to see what the commotion is.

Aaron Angerer: I hate the apple trees, too!!

Page 8

Panel one: A disappointed and exhausted Betty and a still scowling Aaron Angerer walk up to Archie where Betty left him as Archie has a smile on his face as he can tell by Betty's facial expression that she didn't find one thing Aaron liked in all of Pickens Park.

Archie: So how was your stroll in the park?

Betty: Like a safari in the jungle!

Panel two: Archie asks Aaron a question as Betty hangs her head in defeat.

Archie: Say, Aaron, pray tell...anything in Pickens Park you like?

Panel three: Aaron begins to think as Betty and Archie look on. Betty is happily surprised as she looks over towards Aaron and Archie is flabbergasted.

Aaron: One thing...

Archie: Really? Wow! What?!

Panel four: Aaron is smiling at Betty as Betty blushes and smiles back. Archie looks on jealously as he balls his fists and glares at Aaron.

Aaron: I really liked walking and talking with Betty!

Panel five: Archie has Betty by her left arm and begins to drag her away from Aaron as Aaron and Betty wave goodbye to one another. Next to Aaron is Wally and Nutmeg still riding the frog and rabbit as they wave goodbye. Above Aaron, Oaky-Doaky is being carried in the air by the butterflies as he motions with one hand to bring him closer as he plans to fall down the back of Aaron's shirt.

Archie: That's the one thing in the park I didn't like!!

THE END

 Page 1

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is dragging Archie along a street near several diners with various tables and seats outside. One person is complaining to a waiter about a fly in his soup.

Mr. Andrews: Archie! Archie! Hurry up or we'll miss him!!

Archie: I'll be missing an arm if you keep pulling!!

Panel two: Archie is walking behind his dad as his dad is looking through the outside tables in one of the street diners. Archie is rubbing his shoulder and moving his arm across his chest as he tries to regain feeling in it. Mr. Andrews is as giddy as a school kid at a new toy as several diners look at him like he's nuts. The waiter is holding up a spider-web as a spider is descending into the soup.

Archie: Who are we looking for, dad?

Mr. Andrews: My co-worker at the office called me and told me that my favorite western star growing up was visiting Riverdale!!

Panel three: Mr. Andrews pointing ahead.

Mr. Andrews: There!

Panel four: We look to see a man who looks like Clint Eastwood as he is glaring at an empty chair. Flint Northwood is wearing a dirty white cowboy hat, an old brown trench coat and cowboy boots as he is drinking a root beer float. The table next to him has two empty seats. Flint's table has four chairs: One next to Flint, the other next to the empty chair. On the table in front of the empty chair, is cup full of water with a straw facing the chair. Every time Flint talks his teeth are clenched.

Mr. Andrews: Bimbo, Surly, The Pale Horse Rider, Howdy Bates, and the Man Known By No Name—

Mr. Andrews: FLINT NORTHWOOD!!!

Page 2:

Panel one: Archie is scratching his head as he doesn't see what's so great about Flint Northwood as Mr. Andrews ignores him and rushes over to see Flint Northwood. As he runs, he bumps into a waiter carrying pitcher of water on a tray as it begins to fall on a man. Flint has his cowboy hat over his eyes.

Archie: The guy in that movie about the old car?

Mr. Andrews: He's more than just that! He's rode horses!!

Panel two: Mr. Andrews is standing next to Flint Northwood as Flint doesn't acknowledge him as he takes a sip of his root beer. Mr. Andrews is trying to hold his excitement, but failing. Archie is following after his dad in the background and accidentally bumps into another waiter carrying a pitcher of water on a tray as the water falls backwards onto someone sitting.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood, pardner...er, sir. Sir. I grew up watching your shows and movies! I make sure my family watches five of your movies each and every week!

Panel three: Archie is apologizing as he turns and continues on. The two waiters are angry and the drenched diners look like they could strangle Archie and his dad. Flint Northwood puts his drink down and looks ahead sternly, not acknowledging Mr. Andrews by looking at him. Mr. Andrews leaps up in joy.

Flint Northwood: A man shouldn't stand about when an open chair is right in front of him.

Panel four: Archie is heading towards the seat next to Northwood as his dad takes the seat closest to Northwood. Mr. Andrews introduces Archie as Archie waves hello at Flint Northwood. Flint eyes Archie.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood this is my boy, Archie.

Archie: Hello, sir. My dad quotes you all the time.

Panel five: Archie stops as he's about to sit down in the empty chair next to Flint when Flint glares at him with cold blue eyes and gnashing teeth.

Archie: EEEP

Panel six: Archie moves away from the seat and looks confused as no one is in it. Flint takes another sip from his root beer float.

Flint Northwood: Not that chair. Can't you see someone's in it?

Page 3

Panel one: Archie scratches his head as he questions Flint about someone sitting in the empty chair. Flint rolls his eyes towards Archie. Mr. Andrews slams his hands down on the table as he reprimands Archie for daring to question Flint Northwood. Mr. Andrews slams the table so hard, that a waiter carrying water is startled and tips his water on the person sitting at the next table behind Mr. Andrews. The glass of water in front of the empty chair, unnoticed by everyone, is being stirred using its straw by an unseen presence.

Archie: I don't mean to be disrespectful...but there's no one sitting in that chair.

Mr. Andrews: Archie! Don't be disrespectful at all!!

Panel two: Flint Northwood glares at Archie as Archie begins to back away. Behind Archie another waiter is carrying water as a person sitting at the table behind Archie sees him coming.

Flint Northwood: You seem like a spunky boy, punk.

Panel three: Archie bumps into the waiter just behind him, but the person sitting has an umbrella out and stops the water from landing on him.

Flint Northwood: Well, are you spunky. Well, are you, spunky punk?!!

Archie: No! No! I hate spunk!!

Panel four: Archie takes the other empty seat as a waiter leaves menus for the three. The straw in the water is now back to where it was before. Flint nods in approval at Archie's decision as Mr. Andrews vehemently apologies to Flint Northwood.

Archie: I'll sit here, if that's okay...

Mr. Andrews: I apologize! I swear he didn't get his sass from me! It has to be his mother!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Mr. Andrews is talking with Flint Northwood as Archie's eye begins to follow a hot attractive teen walking past him. Unnoticed by everyone, an unseen force is beginning to drink from the glass as the water lowers just a bit in the glass. Flint is cracking his knuckles.

Mr. Andrews: I'm sure it comes from his girlfriend Veronica Lodge.

Flint Northwood: I've heard of the Lodges.

Panel two: Archie continues to look on with glazed love eyes as the teenage girl sits down in the table just in front of him, seemingly alone. Northwood continues to talk with Mr. Andrews as Mr. Andrews takes in every word like it were the most important moment of his life. The glass is now 3/4ths filled.

Flint Northwood: A sorry bunch of sod busters who fenced in the range with their barbwire fences to cut off cattle drives and stymie the way of the cowboy.


Panel three: Archie's shoulders slump as the teenage girl's boyfriend, carrying an open umbrella, begins to pull a chair up to sit next to her. A waiter walks by and looks on as he is carrying water and angry that he isn't trusted with his tray of water. Mr. Andrews responds to what Flint said. The glass is now half way full.

Mr. Andrews: I think that's how their family came into money.

Flint Northwood: Yep.

Panel four: Archie turns away disappointed as he begins to eye the now empty glass of water . The waiter is pouring the pitcher of water on the teen boy's umbrella just to spite him. Flint Northwood continues to talk to Mr. Andrews as Mr. Andrews continues to be enamored by his hero.

Flint Northwood: Course I married a woman full of sass three wives past. A strong woman can build a man up.

Archie: ?

Panel five: Archie has the empty glass of water and is holding it up to see if the bottom is leaking to explain how the water went away. Mr. Andrews is looking over at Archie and point at him to comply with what he is saying. More people in the diner are pulling out umbrellas and raincoats as waiters carrying a tray with pitcher of water and knocking them over seem to be increasing by the droves. Archie isn't paying any attention to his dad at all.

Mr. Andrews: You hear that Archie?! I want you to date Veronica and Veronica only!

Archie: Yeah. Sure.


Page 5.

Panel one: Archie is putting the glass back down as has no idea what happened to the water inside. Several people in rain coats are being lead to their seat by an angry waiter as another waiter is mopping the floor. Mr. Andrews continues to talk with Flint Northwood who now has a piece of straw in his mouth.

Flint Northwood: 'Course a good woman does a man a heap of good as well...

Mr. Andrews: Really!? Good! I married a good woman! She takes the garbage out! She's great!

Panel two: Archie looks over as the people in the raincoat trip and fall because of the wet floor. Another waiter looks at the accident as he pours his pitcher of water on some gentleman's lap. Archie winces as he shows empathy for the fallen couple. Archie is beginning to open the menu.

Flint Northwood: Got me a good woman now finally. Soft like a flower pedal.

Panel three: Archie's eyes light up as he looks at the menu and sees the following stretched across two pages: I SEE YOU, CAN YOU SEE ME, ARCHIE?

Flint Northwood: Used to never clean my boots, chew with my mouth closed, and never bought an extra box of girl scout cookies...

Panel four: Archie looks over at the empty chair and empty glass; straw is now on the table somehow. The menu now reads: GUESS NOT, HUH? Mr. Andrews continues to listen to Flint Northwood.

Flint Northwood: Makes a man feel good. Almost like cattle going days without water until he finds a creek.

Mr. Andrews: I feel like that when I'm thirsty!!

Panel five: Archie's face is pale as he looks on uncomprehendingly as he drops the menu flat the table. Mr. Andrews is talking with Archie as Archie just barely responds as he Archie has no idea what is going on.

Mr. Andrews: You hear that, Archie! I want you to date Betty more!! She's a nice girl who can straighten you out some!!

Archie: Sure...that's fine....

Page 6.

Panel one: Mr. Andrews and Flint Northwood are standing up as Mr. Andrews shakes Flint's arm with both hands and as hard as he can; Flint is too grizzled and tough to even notice as his hat nearly falls off his head.

Mr. Andrews: Mr. Northwood it was an honor to finally meet you...

Panel two: Mr. Andrews looks over at Archie as Archie is tempting to feel for a person in the empty chair, but is hesitant because he might actually find an invisible person sitting there.

Mr. Andrew:  ...And I know my son feels the same way.

Panel three: Mr. Andrews and Archie are walking away. Mr. Andrews has his arm wrapped around Archie's shoulder as they leave. The couple in the raincoat are chasing after the waiter who was mopping as they cause a waiter carrying another pitcher of water to spin about, splashing several tables with water. The entire floor is completely wet. Flint Northwood is in the background adjusting his cowboy hat.

Mr. Andrews: What an afternoon! It's not everyday you see a celebrity!

Archie: Yeah, I like it when I can see people, too..!!

Panel four: Mr. Northwood is walking away from the table as he looks back at the chair as it is now being pulled in the table by an invisible force.

Northwood: Well, pardner, we best mosey on. Wife's gotta be wondering' where I'm at.

Mr. Northwood: Push the chair up. You weren't raised in a barn.

Panel five.: Everyone in the diner, from the waiters to the umbrella using/rain coat wearing customers looks on as Flint Northwood is walking away with his hands in his trench coat pocket on the extremely wet floor. Right next to him are footprints being pressed in the water. All the customers, with whatever drink they have, are now pouring it out on the floor. The waiter with the mop now has it on his head and eyes as he stumbles around and can't see as he begins to slip.

Flint Northwood: I'm tellin' ya, you'll do great at the convention. You just sit down and answer when I talk to ya.

Flint: ...

Flint: Yeah, I'm sure you'll do better than me in the last season of Cattle Drive. Smarty aleck rassa frassam bunny-rabbit!

 Page 1

Panel one: Archie and Jughead are walking into Jughead's room as Jughead is stepping over a pile of clothing. Jughead's room is a mess with various food wrappers, pizza box cartons, empty soda cans, and various comics scattered everywhere. Archie nudges at a pile of dirty clothes with the tip of his show.

Jughead: Arch, I was thinking about how everyone calls me lazy, a glutton, and even a tad messy.

Archie: A tad messy meaning you're only responsible for your room's upkeep in your home....thankfully.

Panel two: Jughead is knelt by the side of his bed as he is reaching under his bed for something. Sticking out from under the bed, we can see various magazines, half eaten pizza crusts and action figures. Archie holds up a moldy half eaten burger and sticks out his tongue in disgust.

Jughead: And thinking about thinking made me realize I do too much thinking! My life can be even simpler!

Archie: You're talking about eliminating cognitive thinking from your daily life? Even you can't be lazy enough to do that.

Jughead: Oh no...?

Panel three: Jughead holds a magic 8-ball up to Archie's face as Archie's eyes go cross-eyed as he looks at in surprise.

Archie: A magic 8-ball?!

Jughead: Yep. Just ahead of the lunch bell and right behind the BLT sandwich in the list of greatest inventions ever.

Page 2

Panel one: Archie looks skeptically at Jughead as Jughead waves off Archie's comment while shaking up the magic 8-ball.

Archie: Don't you mean "toy"?

Jughead: I mean, my ticket to not having to waste one volt of brain power ever again. Not having to think about the answer to a question ever again! Not having to think of witty retort when a picture speaks maybe six words at the most.

Panel two: Archie is getting testy as Jughead holds up the Magic 8-Ball as it reads: WITHOUT A DOUBT.

Archie: C'mon, Jug! You're not really going to go around carrying that oversized novelty item, are you?

Panel three: Jughead holds up a hand as he wants to borrow money from Archie. Archie folds his arms and turns away from Jughead's open palm.

Jughead: I'd also like to carry maybe a five dollar bill in my pocket for a burger at Pop's .

Archie: You think I'm going to give you five dollars after you never repayed the ten dollars you borrowed last week?!

Panel four: Jughead reaches over Archie's right shoulder and holds the Magic 8-Ball up against Archie's nose as his eyes widen and looks down at the 8-ball that reads: IT IS CERTAIN

Panel five: Jughead playfully juggles the 8-ball as he leaves his room. Archie, with pant pockets sticking out to show he has no money left, is left behind to fume as he angrily looks over his left shoulder.

Archie: I hope Jughead mistakes it for a bowling ball.

Page 3.

Panel one: Jughead is at Betty's kitchen door as he olds up the magic 8-ball as it reads: Outlook Good. Out the window of the kitchen we can see a frog eyeing a corned fly on the window ledge. Betty is wearing a cooking apron that has batter and flower on it and oven mitts as she opens the door to greet Jughead as Jughead shakes up the magic 8-ball.

Betty: Oh, Jughead. Would you like to come in?

Panel two: Betty looks at the magic 8-ball in Jughead's hands as she thinks it's adorable as Jughead looks ahead proudly. The 8-ball reads: YES

Betty: Hey, I used to have one of these when I was little!

Panel three: Betty is looking over the 8-ball as Jughead walks ahead and happily sniffs the air. Out the window, the fly is posing on top of the defeated frog as it cups all its arms in a victory celebration.

Betty: When I was a kid, I used to think that it was really magical. I remember when Ronnie and me played around with it and she asked if Archie would marry her first...

Panel four: Betty turns around to see that Jughead is finishing off a cake that she had just finished. On the kitchen table is the near empty cake pan, empty frosting case, and a few dozen egg shells with flour sprinkled on the table.

Betty: Jughead! That was for Archie! Do you think I would let you eat the entire cake?!

Panel five: Jughead uses one finger at the top of the magic 8-ball to turn the window to Betty as Betty holds the 8-ball near her eyes. The magic 8-ball reads: YES—DEFINITELY

Panel six: Betty is sobbing and stomping her feet as Jughead acts like he is polishing the 8-ball with his hand as he whistles innocently.

Betty: It's wrong! Just like it was the last time I threw one against a wall!!!

Page 4.

Panel one: Jughead is walking on his way to Pop's as Reggie struts in front of him with a lady on each arm as he showboats. Reggie smiles and has a twinkle in his teeth as he sticks his chest out proudly. The girls seem to believe his claim. A man is looking up at a plane that has a large banner that continues off panel; so far it reads: IF YOU ARE READING

Reggie: Ladies, ladies, am I not the greatest guy in all of Riverdale?

Panel two: Jughead holds The Magic 8-ball up to Reggie's face as the 8-ball reads: MY SOURCES SAY NO

Reggie: ?!?

Panel three: Reggie pushes the 8-ball away as the two teenage girls look over at it. Reggie has a fist balled as he looks like he wants to punch Jughead who just shrugs his left shoulder. The man is still reading the plane's banner as more of it is shown: THIS THEN YOU MIGHT

Reggie: Oh, that's real cute, Needlenose! I'm going to backhand you back to preschool so you can play with your toy!!

Panel four: The two teenage girls walk past Reggie and Jughead with their noses stuck up in the air as Reggie turns around, forgetting about Jughead as Jughead begins to walk away without a second thought. The man continues to read the large banner as more of it is shown: CONSIDER READING ARCHIE COMICS

Reggie: Girls! Girls! Where you going!?

Girl one: Sorry Reggie—

Panel five: Reggie is pulling at his hair and his face is bright red as he is enraged as the girls leave him behind. The man is holding his neck as he now has a crink in it as the plane's banner is finally finished: IT WOULD BE LESS OF A PAIN IN THE NECK!!!

Girl two: --But we only hang out with the best.

Reggie: GRRRRRR!!!

Page 5.

Panel one: We are now in the Chocklit Shoppe as Jughead is eating at the counter as he hands Pop Tate a five dollar bill for payment for the Big Pop (like a Burger King's big Whopper only much bigger.) Jughead is drinking soda from a straw as Pop Tate begins to talk to him.

Pop Tate: Why, a paying customer today, are we?

Pop Tate: How about paying a bit more on your tab?

Panel two: Jughead is taking a bite out of his burger with one hand as he holds the 8-ball up to Pop Tate as it reads: REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.

Pop Tate: What?!

Panel three: Pop Tate holds Jughead's hand down and begins to shake the magic 8-ball as Jughead vibrates as he continues to eat, splattering ketchup on various teens walking past him as he goes about eating undaunted.

Pop Tate: This oughta clear ya up!!

Panel four: Pop Tate is fuming as the 8-Ball begins to clear up from all the bubbles covering the die.

Panel five: Pop Tate is wide eyed as the 8-ball is clear and it reads: BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW.

Panel six: Jughead is cleaning his fingers after eating his burger as Pop Tate walks away in defeat. Behind Jughead, Ethel is happily skipping towards him as she has her hair tied up in a bun and is wearing a purple blouse with yellow polka dots.

Pop Tate: Sigh.

Pop Tate: Good. Because if it did...I think I just might cry.

Page 6.

Panel one: Ethel is showing off her clothing as she strikes a pose as Jughead half pays attention as he prepares to hold up 8-ball to answer her.

Ethel: Juggie, what do you think of my new blouse? You do like it, don't you?

Panel two: Ethel is ecstatic at the 8-ball's response as Jughead pays attentions as he jerks his head around.

Ethel: Yes! I knew you'd love it! I just new it?

Jughead: ?

Panel three: Jughead looks at the 8-ball to find that it reads: YES.

Panel four: Ethel is leaning across to Jughead as Jughead feverously begins to shake the magic 8-ball.

Ethel: Aw, you can be so sweet, Juggie.

Ethel: How about taking me to the movies tonight? Think about it. You and me watching a romantic movie...holding hands as we stare into each others eyes.

Panel five: Jughead holds up the magic 8-ball as it reads: YOU MAY RELY ON IT.

Panel six: Ethel is leaping up and down in joy as everyone in Pop's turns to look at her. Jughead face palms as he looks at the answer the 8-ball had given.

Ethel: YES! YES! YES!

Page 7

Panel one: Moose and Midge are walking into the Chocklit Shoppe as Ethel races outside. In the background we can see Jughead headbutting the 8-ball as he now is upset that he has to go on a date with Ethel.

Midge: Moose, do you really think I have a chance to win the Miss Teen Riverdale contest?

Moose: Duh, I don't know much, but I know you're da most beautiful girl in Riverdale.

Panel two: Midge is blushing at Moose's compliment as Moose pats Jughead on the shoulder to get his attention.

Midge: Really?

Moose: Really! Even a guy who don't like girls like Jughead here knows you're pretty.

Panel three: Jughead apprehensively holds up magic 8-ball as he winces and hopes for the best result possible. Moose is motioning for Midge to listen to Jughead.

Moose: Jug, you know that my Midgie's gonna win Miss Teen Riverdale, right?

Panel four: Moose and Midge peer over at the 8-ball. Midge looks sad as Moose is becoming enraged.

Panel five: A close-up on the answer of the magic 8-ball as it reads: DON'T COUNT ON IT!! Jughead gulps as he frightfully eyes upwards towards an angry Moose.

Panel six: Moose has Jughead held up in the air by his shirt collar as he begins to violently shake him to the point it looks like there are five of Jughead. Behind Moose a few steps away, Midge is trying to make Moose let go of Jughead

Moose: DUH, WELL WHO ASKED YA?!!

Page 8.

Panel one: Jughead, with the 8-ball tucked under his right arm, is out by the side of The Chocklit Shoppe as he is heading for a dumpster in the alleyway as Archie walks up to him.

Archie: So, Jug—how'd your experiment go?

Panel two: Jughead is entering the alley as he is stomping towards the dumpster as he now has the magic 8-ball in his hand.

Jughead: Archie, you know how toys have labels like "for children 10 and up?"

Archie: Yeah....

Panel three: Jughead just slams the magic 8-ball into the dumpster causing three stray cats to leap up from the dumpster with their hair stood up in fright as Jughead's face twists in anger. Archie shrugs his shoulders as he smiles and looks at the reader.

Jughead: Well, you need to be a priest or have military training before you operate this darn thing!!!

Archie: Amen and Ten-hut to that!

Dixon College.

It takes place in Pennsylvania. Home of giant cracked bells, angry bird fans who pelt Santa Claus with snowballs, and where all cheese steaks are manufactured.

 Page one

Panel one: Betty is babysitting a small red haired girl and is in the small girl's room, which has a shelf with several children's book beside the wall. Several dolls can be seen, the bed quilts are pink and the walls to the room are a light lavender color. Courtney is wearing Super Duck pajamas and has a Cosmo the Merry Martian doll she is holding by one of its arms.

Betty: Okay, Courtney, its seven thirty and that means bedtime.

Courtney: If I've gotta go to bed, can't I at least have a story?

Panel two: Betty is bending down in front of the bookshelf as she skims the spines of the books, having trouble picking out a book. Courtney is sitting up in bed as she waits impatiently.

Betty: Huh. It looks like I've read everything here to you...

Courtney: Then make one up..!

Panel three:  Betty sits back down on the side of the bed as Courtney has her knees to her chest as she sits eagerly for her new story.

Betty: I don't have to. In my creative writing class, we just had an assignment where we created our very own fairy tale. I think I remember it well enough off hand.

Courtney: Is it good?

Betty: I like to think so, but you can be the judge.

Page two:

Panel one: Betty is beginning the story as the panel has her head at the right of the corner. The rest of the panel shows a castle surrounded by a moat, basically the typical fairy tale castle.

Caption: A long time ago, in a far away land, there was a peaceful kingdom where a wise king and queen reigned justly, but they were getting old and wanted the princess to be a queen, so...

Panel two: A shot inside the throne room as Mr. Cooper, Mrs. Cooper, and Betty are dressed in royal garb and sitting on their own throne. Mr. Cooper is King, Mrs. Cooper Queen, and Betty is a princess. They are surrounded by several servants wearing gold and blue armor. Several banners of gold and blue are hung about the stone walls of the castle. A knight is using a light switch to turn on a torch that is hanging from the wall. Another knight is holding a sword with a blue hilt and an identical sword save for a red hilt as he decides which is better. A red carpet leads the way to their thrones.

King Cooper: Princess Betty, it is time you picked from your two suitors.

Queen Cooper: Yes, dear. Your father and I can't begin our retirement plan of touring Never Never Land if you never ever live happily ever after.

Panel three: A knight is leading the way inside the throne room as two figures, obscure at the moment, follow behind. One of the figures has his head held high and is strutting while the other is much more nervous. Princess Betty leans out of her thrown and looks on excitedly.

King Cooper: Bring forth the eligible suitors!

Courtney Caption: So she has to pick?

Betty Caption: Yep. And here they come now...

Panel four: We see Prince Archie and Prince Reggie entering into the throne room. Archie looks less elegant than Reggie as most of his clothes are dirty and tattered. Reggie is wearing the fanciest of clothes and a long purple, diamond encrusted cape. Archie is staring at Princess Betty with heart shaped eyes as Princess Betty looks at him the same way. Reggie has his arms extended, showing off himself, as he strikes a pose, completely oblivious to Archie and Betty's true feelings towards one another. In the background, a knight has his visor up as he is eating an apple. Beneath his feet are several apple cores.

Knight: Presenting Prince Archie The Two Left Feeted and Prince Reggie of the Big Mouth.

Page three:

Panel one: Reggie pushes past the knight as the knight shakes a fist at him. Archie is on his tip toes as he is still in his love daze. In the background a knight is wheeling a maiden in a wheelbarrow as another knight gives chase.

Courtney caption: Why is Prince Archie wearing those torn clothes? Couldn't he afford better?

Betty Caption: You'll see why in a few seconds.

Princess Reggie: When I become king, you'll need to collect tin cans for coins, because you won't be paid for wearing one!

Panel two: Princess Betty is rolling her eyes as Reggie has pulled out a mirror to look at himself. King and Queen Cooper are irritated, but trying to remain patient with him. Archie is being pushed along by the knight as he begins to trip over his own feet. In the background, a knight is showing a startled knight his two pet lions. The lions are docile and rub up against the owner's leg like they were kittens.

Prince Reggie: Noble King and Queen, trust me when I say this: Princess Freckles behind me there doesn't have my dashing good looks, my winning smile, my panache, my—

Prince Archie: I'm going, I'm going, don't push--!

Panel three: Prince Archie trips over Reggie. King and Queen face palm, but Princess Betty is amused and chuckling to herself.

THWOP

Reggie: ooofff

Courtney caption: Oh. That's why.

Panel four: Princess Betty is watching as Prince Reggie is jerking his cape from under Archie's body, causing him to roll off like he was a small tumbleweed.

Prince Reggie: This cape is worth more than your entire kingdom plus the spare change in your sofa, dolt! Get off!

Archie: Whoa!

Panel five: King Cooper has risen from his throne as he begins to make a proclamation. Everyone in the room looks on, save for Archie who is staggering about, still dizzy from his little spin.

King Cooper: It is time that my daughter takes a husband, and she will—

Page four:

Panel one: Prince Reggie steps ahead of Prince Archie as if he's already the chosen husband. Archie looks on agitated while Princess Betty sticks her tongue out in disgust. Two knights in the background are backing away from a green knight who is offering them an ax with one hand and pointing at his head with the other.

Prince Reggie: Good looks, wealthy kingdom, and an iron fist wrapped in a mitten of love and understanding. I'm yours, Sugar.

Panel two: Prince Reggie turns around to sneer at Prince Archie. Prince Archie rubs his left arm sheepishly as he's embarrassed by what Reggie says. A knight looks over at a small green pet dragon who has its tail bandaged up as it hides in the corner of the throne room.

Prince Reggie: I mean, last time he was here, he nearly burnt down your kingdom.

Prince Archie:...I didn't mean to step on the dragon's tail...

Panel three: King Cooper has grown impatient as he motions towards Princess Betty, who begins to rise from her throne.

King Cooper: If you two would stop your yammering, my daughter will explain your quest.

Panel four: Archie is staring at Princess Betty with lovey dovey eyes while Reggie seems worried about the quest as he looks over himself in the mirror.

Prince Archie thinking: She's so beautiful.

Prince Reggie thinking: A quest? I didn't raise taxes on the peasants to buy griffin aftershave for this face of mine to get besmirched!

Page five:   

Panel one: Princess Betty is talking to the Princes, but here eyes are directed at only Prince Archie. Princess Betty's tiara and dress are glistening in the sunlight coming from a window as she explains the quest. Reggie has his hand to his chin as he begins to ponder and plot. Princess Archie is in his own world as he has several small hearts over his head. In the background, one knight is preparing to fight two other knights.

Princess Betty: Which ever of you who shall take my hand in marriage must first venture forth and find me a rose. Whosoever brings me the best rose by my eyes shall be my future husband.

Panel two: Princess Betty gets excited and leaps into the air as she pumps her first. This startles the knights and her parents as they jump back. The Princes are both startled and snap out of whatever chain of thought they were in. In the background one of the two knights runs over to the lone knight to join his side as the now abandoned knight looks on in shock.

Princess Betty: SO STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES!!! LET'S GO!!!

Prince Archie and Prince Reggie: !!!

Panel three: Prince Archie zooms ahead along the red carpet as Princess Reggie holds the end of the red carpet over his head. In the background, the knight now alone has his hands raised above his head in surrender while the two other knights bump fists.

Prince Archie: I swear to win Princess Betty's heart fair and square—

Panel four: Reggie sends the end of the carpet crashing down as it creates a small red tidal wave that sweeps Archie off his feet and sends him sailing out the throne room head first, like he had been shot out of a cannon. In the background, the three knights who did a mock fight look on in disgust as another knight in a fancy bright blue and bright yellow fancy armor strolls towards them.

Archie: Yikes!!!

Panel five: Simply the words: CRASH in bright red.

Panel six: Outside the hall of the castle as Archie is lying amongst the rubble of a suit of armor that had been standing along the wall as Prince Reggie zooms past him as two servants open a large door for him. Lying along the pile are a white shield, a box of armor wash named VULGATE CYCLE, and a newly dented grail. Archie is trying to get a helmet with the visor clamped shut off his head.

Prince Archie: If this wasn't a children's book, I'd do a different kind of swearing right about now!!

Page six:

Panel one: Reggie is in a rose garden of some poor peasants (a mother, father, and two small sons) sadly look on as he is stomping through the flowers with out a moment's thought to them ass he tries to find the perfect rose.

Reggie: Wilted...not colorful enough...bee in this one...

Panel two: Prince Reggie jerks his body up as he holds his left hand in pain as a bee flies away.

Prince Reggie: OW!

Panel three: Prince Reggie, while kissing a swollen red finger rolls his eyes to see the peasant family snickering at him.


Panel four: Prince Reggie glares over at the family of peasants and points at them. The father and mother are timid while the two children snarl at Prince Reggie.

Prince Reggie: People who can't afford the dirt beneath their feet shouldn't plant flowers in it!

Panel five: Reggie walks out of the rose garden, walking over several roses as the family of peasants run to tend to their rose garden. The two boys stick their tongues out and make faces at Prince Reggie behind his back. In the road, Prince Archie is riding an old mare as he does not see Reggie. Prince Archie has a map out as he is reading it.

Reggie: This is such a stupid quest...!

Page seven.

Panel one: Prince Reggie is sneaking behind a tree to eavesdrop on Prince Archie as Archie talks aloud. Archie is seemingly proud of his idea as he sits straight up on his old mare.

Prince Reggie: So better to let the stupid person lead the way.

Panel two: We see over Prince Archie's shoulder as he is looking at a map. On the right color is a drawing of a rainbow rose and a land that has a trail marked to the rose that leads through a picture of a troll and a giant.

Prince Archie: I know that if I can present the one of a kind Rainbow Rose to Princess Betty, I'll win this quest for sure.

Panel three: Prince Reggie is leaning against the tree scheming, clamping his hands over and over in anticipation, as Prince Archie wobbly rides off, nearly falling off as his saddle slips to the left of his horse.

Prince Archie: No matter the danger and enemies I must face, the rainbow rose will be presented to Princess Betty.

Prince: Archie, but first a new saddle buckle...!

Prince Reggie whispering: Yeah, you face the enemies and dangers, and I'LL be the one who gives the rainbow rose to the princess.

Panel four: Prince Reggie is looking over his head at the caption box.

Courtney caption:  Creep.

Panel five: Prince Reggie angrily responds to Courtney's caption.

Prince Reggie: Aw, just keep quiet and watch!

Panel six: Back to Courtney and Betty. Courtney is upset with what just happened as Betty shrugs her shoulders and tries to force a smile.

Courtney: Hey!

Betty: Heh. Characters take a life of their own sometimes...

Page eight:

Panel one: Archie is standing over a pile of green, barbarian dressed trolls. Archie brandishes his sword and strikes a pose. Archie's old mare has fallen asleep on its feet. In the background we can Reggie using his hand to wave off Prince Archie's accomplishment as if it was not impressive. In the background a hermit is hugging a knight wearing all white armor. A knight holding an apple is trying to hug another hermit, but the hermit pushes him away and looks away in disgust.

Caption: And so the quest for the rainbow rose began. First with the trouncing of the Troll Thieve Posse of Pembrooke Forest.

Panel two: Prince Archie is now in a land covered in snow as a medieval Leroy begins to pelt him with snowballs. Prince Archie is having a tough time as his clothes are not for winter and his old mare is shaking with its teeth chattering. Prince Reggie is in the background with several servants shoveling his path for himself and his horse. Reggie is wearing a fur coat and drinking hot cocoa as he rides along on his much better steed. In the background a knight, holding a now frozen apple in his hand, is staring at disbelief at a snow angel that looks like a devil as a hermit shakes a finger at the knight. The white knight's snow angel is extremely detailed as if by divine intervention.

Caption: And he soon found himself battling the elements.

Pow pow pow

Archie: OW! OW! That one had a rock in it--! Ow!

Leroy: Haw Ha! It can't be as hard as your head, Sir Freckles-A-Lot.

Panel three: Prince Archie is next to Veronica dressed as a sorceress. Veronica is wearing a costume that resembles an eagle. She is holding a scepter with a red jewel at the tip. Archie has hearts over his eyes as he looks at Veronica. Reggie is coming out of his hiding place in the scrubs as he plans on intervening. Along a path, the White Knight continues along a path as the knight holding the apple stops and has small hearts over his head as he looks at Veronica.

Caption: And when he was lost for the sixth day straight, he sought the advice of Veronica the Sorceress who—

Sorceress Veronica: Prince Archiekins, why not just forget your quest for that dumb blond princess and make magic with me?

Prince Archie: You've put me under your love spell!

Caption: Hmmph!

Panel four: Veronica is changed from a lovely sorceress to an ugly witch. She is wearing the typical black dress and bent black hat. Veronica now has a long, crooked nose, warts on her face, her eyebrows are now bushy, and she has a few long hairs on her chin now. Archie jumps back in fright. Reggie stops in mid step with his eyes wide in shock. Veronica's scepter is now an overused broom. The knight holding the apple faints as two hermits in the bush shake their heads in disappointment in regards to his actions.

Caption: Did I say sorceress? I meant to say she was a witch. The ugliest witch ever! A bad disposition with a worse personality!!

POOF

Archie: Yikes! Make that a curse!

Panel five: Veronica the witch is hitting Prince Archie with her broom as he runs away in fright. Reggie is cradling himself in the fetal position as he's deeply disturbed in seeing someone so beautiful suddenly turn so ugly. The white knight has returned carrying a grail as he steps around the other knight. The hermits rejoice seeing the white knight.

Veronica The Witch: Get out of my forest before I turn you into a frog, you toad!

WHACK WHACK WHACK

Prince Archie: Ouch! The only bad way to get swept off your feet by a girl!

Page nine

Panel one: A battered Archie, with several straws in his hair, is crawling along a rose orchard as he weakly tries to pull himself along the path. Around him are several bushes with red and pink roses.

Caption: After being brushed off by the witch, Prince Archie had finally found the enchanted rose orchard...


Prince Archie: Now I know how dust bunnies feel...!

Panel two: Archie raises his head up. It looks as if a rainbow is shining down upon his face.

Archie: Now to just find—

Panel three: Archie, now on his knees, is reaching out to a rose bush as the Rainbow Rose is just in front of him.

Archie: The Rainbow Rose!

Panel three: A close-up on Archie's hand as he is just within inches from grabbing the rose.

Caption: And just when victory was within his grasp--

Panel four: Reggie suddenly rides on his horse and snatches the rainbow rose, denying Archie at the last second. Reggie is still in very good condition, showing that he never did any sort of work.

Reggie: Roses that are red, yellow, green, purple, and blue—

Panel five: Reggie is riding off in the distance as Archie is up to his feet and shakes a fist in his direction.

Reggie: --Are meant only for those with high class, not peons like you!

Archie: You no good Tyrant of Thieves! You're a knave who steals the sweetest of tarts!

Page 10

Panel one: Archie is turning to look at his old mare. He has a fire in his eyes as he is filled with rage and determination. His rage makes him forget his fatigue and wounds.

Archie: Spotty! We're going to run that rogue down, and take back the Rainbow Rose.

Panel two: Archie turns around to see Spotty has fallen asleep on his feet, with a small bubble coming from its nostril. Archie slumps over in defeat and disappointment.

Archie: ...And then pigs will fly while purple raccoons direct air traffic.

Panel three: Archie sadly picks a plain pink rose from one of the bushes.

Caption: And so, Prince Archie searched the rose orchard for the best rose he could find...

Panel four: Back to the throne room as it has now been decorated. Several yellow and blue banners align the wall and the throne room is mainly in white. All the knights are wearing special colorful armor. The royal family is dressed up in their finest clothing. King, Queen, and Princess Cooper are standing before Archie and Reggie. Reggie has a smile ear to ear as he is admiring the Rainbow Rose, arrogantly holding it in front of Archie. Archie has a tight grip on his rose, which now has become withered and tore. Archie is despondent as he believes he has lost Princess Betty forever.

King Cooper: And now that both Princes have finally returned, Princess Betty will now accept the rose and prince of her own personal choice.

Courtney caption: Say! This like that show!

Betty caption: Shh! I'm getting to the good part!


Page 11

Panel one: Reggie steps forward and proudly showcases the Rainbow Rose as Betty doesn't seem all that impressed.

Reggie: C'mon, why all the show and suspense. It's obvious who the winner—like always—is.

Panel two: Princess Betty sidesteps Reggie as Reggie rolls his eyes to follow her as he's taken by surprise.

Princess Betty: You're right, good sir.

Panel three: Princess Betty takes Archie's rose to his and Reggie's surprise. Reggie's jaw has dropped and he nearly falls over in shock.

Princess Betty: I choose the rose given to me by the person I truly love!

Panel four: Prince Reggie begins stomping on the Rainbow Rose as his face is bright red. Prince Archie and Princess Betty are hugging one another as small hearts float overhead. King Cooper is motioning with a finger to his throat for two knights to take Reggie out of the throne room. Two knights are walking over in response.

Reggie: "Truly love?" That's not fair! He could have given you a lump of mud, and I'd still lose! I demand a fencing contest, archery, or even swords at twenty stones! I want a do over! I'll sue!

Panel five: Prince Archie and Princess Betty are kissing and in the background we can see two knights carrying a still wild with rage Reggie out of the throne room.

Caption: And so, sealed with a kiss, the prince and princess became a steady couple and...

Page 12

Panel one: Betty has stopped telling the story as she looks over at Courtney who has fallen asleep.

Panel two: Betty smiles at her as Courtney looks adorable curled up in a ball with her Cosmo the Merry Martian doll clutched to her chest.

Panel three: Betty begins turning off the light and tucking Courtney in at the same time.

Panel four: Betty is leaving Courtney's room, entering the home's hall as she smiles to herself. Above her is a thought balloon of a grown up Betty and Archie getting married.

Betty: The real magic in a good fairy tale is making it into a work of nonfiction.

Betty: Sigh.